The Christmas break approached, and I was exhausted. All teachers are tired at Christmas. It’s the end of a mammoth term, and you want to watch films, eat mince pies, and crash out. However, in all my previous 14 Christmas holidays, I had never felt so wiped out. All my joints ached, I felt sick all the time, I wasn’t eating correctly, and I had no energy. Apart from the physical issues, some of which were heightened by onset fatigue from the chemotherapy, there were also the mental aspects.
"Worryingly, I felt that whatever I did within my role was not enough; I felt empty inside and devoid of any motivation for the job and career I once loved so much. I didn’t want to return in January; I didn’t want to go to meetings; I didn’t care anymore; and I had a constant high level of anxiety – pulling out of several staff presentations at the last moment." Between the mental and physical exhaustion, I was wiped out. I was no good to anyone. If I’m honest, I was constantly on the verge of crying. Looking back on pictures of me during this time, I looked pale, withdrawn and not at all well. The critical point for me was identifying that I was burnt out instead of being stressed. Looking back, there were several signals that my body was giving me signs that I was burning out before I broke down in a meeting with my principal. Burnout signs felt like*: Inexplicable tiredness Constant aches and pains Twitching in my eyes Trouble sleeping Constant dread about opening emails, messages or interacting with colleagues Burnout signs looked like: Restlessness Little patience Over socialising / Withdrawing Tearfulness Undereating / Overeating Breakouts and skin complaints Burnout signs sounded like:
A key indicator of whether you feel stressed or burnt out is to identify whether you can imagine the endpoint and, once you get things under control, you know you will feel better. Within our profession, this often ties in with you getting to the end of a half-term, knowing that you will have a one or two-week holiday to relax and, ultimately, get on top of things before starting the new term fresh. Teaching is an incredibly rewarding job. However, our intrinsic values of wanting to help others, which make us so good at our jobs, can also be our biggest enemy. While schools are responsible for providing the structures to ensure that staff wellbeing is more than just a token gesture, individuals also need to be self-aware of their situation. Everyone’s position will be slightly different regarding what is causing them to feel the way they do. Still, it is essential to identify the issues and then approach these sensibly and logically. My number one piece of advice is to TALK. Seek the support of others to help you, a friend, or a colleague, for example. The very best schools will also be supportive if you approach your line manager or a senior staff member. Sadly, having taken a logical look at my situation and spoken to my incredibly supportive head of school and principal, I still had feelings of never being enough, not wanting to be present and lacking motivation. This led me to identify that I was burnt out. In July 2020, after nine wonderful years in Doha, we returned to Pembrokeshire in Wales without a job. I needed to stop. It was a gamble, but I am delighted I made it, mostly because I am in a significantly better place mentally and physically.
Be kind to yourself. Neil Thomas is a teacher with over 15 years of teaching and leadership experience both in the UK and internationally, Neil is now working as an educational consultant and professional coach. Having been affected by burnout, he decided to return to the UK to find a better work-life balance and recuperate both mentally and physically. Neil is also one of the hosts of a wellbeing podcast, Healthy.Comfortable.Happy, which is available on all podcast platforms. Connect with Neil on LinkedIn and Twitter.
“Everyone thinks I’m useless.” “I’m too [insert every innate personality trait I have].” “I’m going to be fired.” “I don’t belong here.” “Taking a break looks lazy.” *(Phillips, 2020)
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