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WILD HEARTS MAGAZINE

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03 | Wild Romance


Wild Hearts magazine is an online pla�orm about being unapologe�cally you in all your wildest forms, while being in touch with your beau�ful heart, driven by the wildest of love. Having unfiltered conversa�ons about spirit, body, soul and rela�onships. For the wild ones.

WIILDHEARTS.COM Therèsa editor-in-chief/ visual creator @theresariver Rae editor / social media creator @raesworld @palmtreerae


on sex and the battle between lovers do you choose a bad romance or a wild romance 03


wild romance


Love God | SPIRIT

Wisdom | SOUL

08 Wild Encounters Meeting the Holy Spirit. 10 Free Spirits Wild Romance 15 Me and My Wild Heart A Letter from a Friend 18 Wild & Holy Interview w/ Shannon Majure 24 Secret Garden Forest Gump

54 Raw Souls Bad Romance 56 Wild Bookclub Books & Talks 58 Fear of God So in Love 60 Sleepover Club Sexual Longings 64 Sacred Gratitude Thankful Hearts 62 Moodboard Prophecy Leaders

Love Others as Yourself | SOCIAL

Stature | BODY

28 Unapologetically Me No One Quite Like You w/ Anne TePaske 30 Unconditional Lovers Interview w/ Tom & Kalee 42 Ten Ways to Love Yourself w/ Peter Murden 35 Ten Ways to Love Others What My Friends Taught Me 46 Him and Her Romance Him, Romance Her 48 Wild Child Love Island

68 Vibrant Bodies Chasing Bodies 70 Life of Worship Intimacy with God w/ Ruth Habegger 80 Fashion Glitterbombs Modesty 76 Milk & Honey Do You Know How Many Husbands I would have? w/ Hope Moquin 74 Live Creatively Your sex takes me to paradise

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love god

Spirit child of god

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This ar�cle might be very foreign to you. It might piss you off cause this is not your picture of holy. It might sound like I am a madman cause it doesn’t sound of this world and it isn’t. You might not ever see me the same. I wish I could say I don’t care what you think, but I do. Oh, I do. Just let it all sink in. So this Holy Spirit of the in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, this Holy Spirit was very foreign to me. I had this lovely rela�onship with the Father and I s�ll couldn’t really grasp what Jesus had done for me. But the Holy Spirit was this vague person I didn’t know anything about. Un�l I found myself in California cause God told me to go there. Li�le did I know what I got into. God was going to get really real for me. In the sense, I could feel His presence. I could feel Him being really near to me. Nothing that my mind could really grasp. My body really could contain. But my spirit was running over of this love that was so strong it could have killed me in a second.

I saw these people struck by love like lightning rushing through their bodies. They were literally trembling. And I wanted to be with God soo close like them. But I seemed so far away. Like there was a ceiling in between us. I wanted what these people had. So I asked people to pray with me. He started to pursue me with the deepest peace I ever felt. But I didn’t feel His fire. I wanted His fire. Un�l later someone asked me who of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit seems distant to you. Well hello Holy Spirit I have no freaking idea who you are. I had no idea He was the presence of God. She simply introduced me to Him. And cleared the path of whatever could stand between us. And there I saw myself hugging the presence of God. I had no idea le�ng the Holy Spirit in was me le�ng go of control. He shook my world, literally. I stubbornly wanted to resist le�ng anything go. My mind couldn’t understand. So it didn’t make sense to me. Till someone said to me. Surrender. Just let go. I knew in that moment I had to let go. And I let go. And I fell on the floor. In the middle of


someone’s living room. With lots of people around mei. And I apologised to the Holy Spirit. Of Him pursuing me and me ignoring Him. Was I really going to fight God? My silver giraffe necklace represents a piece of that night. Oh, the crazy adventures of His presence that followed. And piece by piece I let go of control and got launched me in a new piece of freedom. From uncontrollable laughter. To me drenched in sweat cause His love hit my body so strong I was sure I would get killed if He showed me just a frac�on more. Which set everything in a crazy perspec�ve. He did love me wild. Really wild. His love was very real. I never felt so alive. He pursued me in crazy encounters with other people prophesying over my life. Speaking life and giving me crazy promises. For one week I couldn’t sit s�ll cause I was so passionate and on fire on His love. I am sure people must have thought I was tripping. But dang my God all of a sudden got really real. And I was out of control. Not really func�oning.

And I couldn’t give a damn anymore about what people might think. Cause His love had never felt more real to me. His voice became so vibrant to me. We were having real deal conversa�ons. In me talking. Him responding. In Him talking. Me responding. No longer the endless prayers I was sending up to Heaven. We were talking. We were having rela�onship. This thing was real. In worship, He just was taking me to places. And angels are actual a real thing. And just atmospheres all surrounding us. And me just being undone of this new world. Heaven. All of a sudden everything making so much sense that we only use around ten percent of our brains. We are only able to see so many shades of light. Cause there is a whole world out there. And that world is living in us. We are all carrying a piece of Heaven inside us. And He is always there with me. Yeah just let your stubbornness go. Let go of control. Let go of your thoughts. Go talk to God. And let Him pursue you. And trust Him. And don’t be scared of anything you don’t understand. Be in His presence. It is the most human and divine you will ever feel. It is be�er than sex. (I am laughing so hard about this reading it back, but I guess this statement is very true) He is faithful. “He will love me more in a moment than any lover could in a life�me.” 09


He took me back into the wilderness, where we had our first date. He didn’t give up on me even when I had turned my back on Him. I had exchanged His romance, for some bad romances. I so desperately wanted there to be more in the world. But this seemed to be all it. Empty. I saw my friends chase it down partying, being so wasted not remembering a thing of the previous night, just some soundbites they could recall. I saw my girls kiss endless guys they would never know the names of. I saw my classmatecareer �gers desperately chasing down something. I saw the peeps in church being boring and totally contradic�ve. I saw the subjects in school not backing purpose and leaving me clueless. Everything seemed empty. There had to be more. And in one fling I decided, fine I’ll do it on my own then. I only felt pursued by boys, there always would be a boy. I guess the most important ques�on in our days were, how is your love life? We didn’t care about our futures, we cared about being pursued, longed for, being wanted. Oh how desperately I wanted to hear all those swooning words from a guy, and how I would play around with their hearts, they were my thrill of adventure, they made me feel somehow alive in the middle of my empty storms. But I just wanted their a�en�on. I remember having a boyfriend, and me twirling, I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend. It wasn’t about the one that was my boyfriend, it was about just having a boyfriend. Oh babe, please don’t be in a rela�onship with someone cause you want to be in a rela�onship. And yes I liked the guy, I was known for being the picky one with my friends. You have way too high standards they would say. And s�ll, I managed to be in a rela�onship cause I liked the thought of a boyfriend over actually the one in front of me and him being more than just cute. There will always be someone cuter. Don’t go chasing bodies. Be brutally honest with yourself. Dare to ask the ques�on, are you the right one?


“And now, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to start all over again. I’m taking her back out into the wilderness where we had our first date, and I’ll court her. I’ll give her bouquets of roses. I’ll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope. She’ll respond like she did as a young girl, those days when she was fresh out of Egypt. “At that �me”—this is God’s Message s�ll—“you’ll address me, ‘Dear husband!’ Never again will you address me, ‘My slave-master!’ I’ll wash your mouth out with soap, get rid of all the dirty false-god names, not so much as a whisper of those names again. At the same �me I’ll make a peace treaty between you and wild animals and birds and rep�les, And get rid of all weapons of war. Think of it! Safe from beasts and bullies! And then I’ll marry you for good—forever! I’ll marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness. Yes, I’ll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go. You’ll know me, God, for who I really am. Hosea 2:14-20 MSG x


Right now I don’t want to date a lot of guys, I don’t want to learn from the rela�onships I could have right now. I know everyone’s love story is different, but to me it is the same as God saying, go on loving other Gods first, they will teach you so many things, and I’ll work through those, and one day, we’ll find each other. That just sounds strange to me. I don’t want a�rac�ons and distrac�ons, I want the real thing. I don’t want counter Gods, I want GOD. I don’t want counter lovers, I want the one. But back then, I didn’t believe in fairytales, even though I couldn’t stop dreaming about them, but somehow I didn’t really think I was worthy of them. I knew God existed, even when I told Him, fine I’ll do it on my own then. And even back then I didn’t really do it on my own, I mean I can’t even take a breath without Him. And s�ll He pursued me. I got into a rela�onship. My mom and I were barely talking. I was in my last year of pre-university educa�on and I couldn’t care less of the high demands and very boring subjects that would launch me into

the big intellectual places, but I had to s�ck cause I needed my diploma. I was covered in stress, in anger, having no idea who I was and so so empty. There had to be more. My rela�onship was toxic, he was scared of me leaving him, and even when I knew I had to leave him, I didn’t dare. I remember one night him breaking up with me cause he couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t take that I didn’t have �me for him that week. I had just found out that night my aunt had died in a car accident and my uncle was in a coma, at that moment I was working hard in the very last hours to finish the business magazine to reach the big deadline of the project that was fi�y percent of the grade of my gradua�on. And I smiled, I was so relieved. The ending of a bad romance is a relieve. Even when you don’t have the guts to end it yourself. Even when life around you is so rough. Even back then God was carrying me even when I pretended to do life on my own. In the next months I remember throwing textbooks around the room, cause I just couldn’t focus, I


didn’t care. I didn’t want to live this life. I was so unhappy. And I remember screaming out to God. I CAN’T DO THIS ON MY OWN. I NEED YOU. And like a rushing wind He came in. Peace overflowing. Focusing me, to learn hundreds and hundreds of pages. And pass my exams in one bit. Being closer to God than ever before. While I had previously told Him in the face I didn’t want Him while I knew He existed, He s�ll pursued me. He didn’t punish me, He helped me through it all. The beginning of our Wild Romance. He turned Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope. Before my faith would be like clashing waves, up and down. And now we were building a founda�on together. S�ll the faces of guys around me, temp�ng me every trail of my walk, and me temp�ng them. Yet I got to learn God in a different way. Even though I didn’t hear His voice, I started to see Him around. I tasted the more. My heart filled with hope. I remember the moment the knives of an exploding fruit juicer cu�ng into my wrist. Blood dripping on the kitchen floor. 13 s�tches and the

doctor couldn’t tell me more, if my right hand would ever func�on the same again. I got into a year at art school, art was the only thing that ever sparked in all the career test and in my life. She held my paintbrushes, pencils, camera, guitar, and bam they were gone. And I felt God so near. In the bleeding. In the moments alone healing. Teaching me, it was about who I am, and not about what I can do. He would be able to use me in any other way. But I was sure if it restored, I would use my pain�ngs, photo’s, drawings, music and more for Him. And it restored completely. He pursued me in the hard places. He pursued me in the o�eat phases. Teaching me so much along the way. Guiding me on paths I saw nobody walking. The steady in my life was Him. Nobody really seeming to understand what the heck I was doing with my life. But I found the more, and I was never willing to give that up. My hunger arising and He se�ng me up to fly to what felt for me the other side of the world. My first �me on an airplane, moving to a country I had never been to, not knowing a

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• Me & My Wild Heart • A Le�er From My Wild Heart to Yours

Daughter, You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to talk to you about the truth. But it’s not as simple as that some�mes. But it’s �me to speak. Because perfect love is at your door..

you’ve given your own voice to these things that seem true. I’ve seen you look at their lives and ask yourself, why can’t that be for me? What’s wrong with me?

Darling, I see you. I see your eyes. Truly. I see what’s really going on. I see in your eyes those evenings you’ve spent feeling alone. I see the tears you’ve cried into your pillow. Oh sweet one, I know your pain.

I’ve seen the tears come to your eyes, and I’ve seen you quickly stop yourself because you don’t want your makeup to come off. I’ve seen you stare at yourself in the mirror, feeling heartbroken with what was looking back at you.

I’ve seen you say you’re okay even though inside your li�le head �lts downward. I’ve seen you muster up the strength to smile. I’ve seen how you have felt robbed in your personality because of the bombarding feelings of inadequacy and shame I’ve even seen how

I’ve felt the thoughts you’ve had about yourself I’ve felt the betrayal. I’ve known the rejec�on . I know the anxiety you have felt in the big wide world. I know. Because I was that girl. Let me share a li�le chapter of my story with you, my darling.

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‘As I walked into the nightclub, blurry-eyed, searching, looking, yearning for love. ‘If I don’t get affec�on tonight I will just die’ I thought to myself. I need something to numb my pain. I am screaming and no one can hear me. Empty. Broken. Drunk ou�a my mind, kissing some guy and YES, the feeling disappeared for a moment. Oh, where did he go? Nevermind, cmon girls �me for some vodka shots. 2 guys, 3 guys, oh dear. I’ve drank too much. As I open my eyes. I no�ce I’m being carried out of the club. The tears start to stream down my cheeks. It’s hopeless. I’m a mess. How did I get here? Seriously, How did I get here? Few days later. I’m hanging ou�a my window. Looking at the stars. Smoking my cigare�e. “God?” I said as the tears come again. “Please bring me home, I’m �red” Some �me past, the numbness s�ll in my heart. The pain, the shame, the anxiety. I lay in my bed, thinking about life

- and then … A light filled the room. Jesus. It’s you Tears. Awe. Wonder. A love, a kindness started pouring into my spirit. I melt into Him. I felt my burden li�. I saw His eyes. I knew, I was loved I knew, I didn't need to strive anymore ‘Here, daughter, I’m here - rest now’ I met Him, and I suddenly knew it was never about summing up. It was never about the rules and regula�ons. I’m the apple of his eye. He is the substance of love There is no nega�vity in His love There is no bad in His love There is no rejec�on in His love I suddenly realised I hadn't known God un�l now. That God who was angry, and disconnected. That God who would kick you out. He is not those things He is love, and I’ve never felt gentleness like it. He completely changed my life.


He completely changed my life

My darling, You are the apple of His eye You are His prize You are His darling one He loves you He even took the bullet for you He fought for you, this whole �me I know humanity some�mes doesn't represent His kind face well. He is so secure that he gave us power He trusted His beloved children to one another And we messed up. I’m sorry for the pain we’ve caused. But there is one who is perfect Love And he casts our fear

Let me tell you something A�er I met Jesus, There is a peace in my heart that I have never felt before He saved me He restored me And my darling, He just wants to love you That’s all he wants He will wait as long as you want, He will con�nue to see you He wants to be your one true friend My darling, He will never leave you Dare to pray that prayer when you’re ready. Come. And he will give you rest From a friend

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Wild & Holy How would you describe your rela�onship with God? I’d describe it as very open and flexible which sounds funny. But what I mean by that is over the last 15 years I’ve been walking with the Lord I’ve changed a lot and my understanding with Him has changed a lot.. He hasn’t changed but in our rela�onship, I feel so much freedom for us to both be ourselves.. I feel like that sounds silly! But there’s so much freedom for me to process with Him and ask Him the hard ques�ons or weird ques�ons and explore different aspects of theology. There’s such a mutual understanding, and I never expect to know what He’s doing to do, or how he’s going to answer my prayers this �me. I love being surprised by God, being caught off guard by him. How I relate to Him always changes. So it’s very open.


Can you share any stories where God has captured your wild heart? There are so many sweet moments where Holy Spirit has taught me about His love for the wild ones it’s so hard to choose one so I will share a couple. First I’d say I’ve always felt very known and seen by the Father. I grew up in church, very tradi�onal and conserva�ve circles and it was quite confusing, I didn’t really understand it. And one night in college I came home very drunk and laid out on my floor and just said to God, ‘hey if you’re real I really want to know you’ and I think that being the first �me I spoke and met with God set a tone for me just coming to him as myself and he would always just meet me. I always felt so known by Him even when I felt so misunderstood by everyone else around me. He doesn’t shame me and tut at me when I ask inappropriate ques�ons. Another story that comes to mind was a �me when I was in China and I was in a brothel with one of my madam friends and she took out some meds and I asked her what it was for and she said she had herpes

in her mouth and that she had it for a couple of years and she had a lot of pain, she couldn’t even eat and I said in very simple language “well did you know that Jesus is a healer? He can heal you, do you want to pray?” and she said “well I don’t believe in Jesus” and I said “that’s okay, you don’t have to believe! He can heal you anyway. Do you wanna pray?” and she was like “sure!” so we said a simple prayer and she was healed! That for me was so monumental for me. It makes me emo�onal even now. Just understanding the simplicity of the gospel. If God can meet a madam in her brothel and heal her of STD’s how endless is his kindness! How endless is his compassion and love towards us? Another �me in a bar someone came up to me and said: “someone told me you were a Chris�an, is that f*****g true?” I was like.. Yeah.. what’s up?! *giggles* and she said “I want to know God, how do I know him?” so we went outside to a quiet spot and I just said “it’s so simple, put your hands out and say Father, I want to know you” and she said “what else?!” and I said “He’s going to come to you.. Just wait.

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And the next �me I saw her she came to me and said “I was in the taxi home and I was really drunk, but I felt God tell me that he loved me and I already knew him!.. Is that true is that true? Can he really talk to me that way?! And I said “yeah!” So there have been so many �mes in my life I have just seen God in compassion and in love and purity. Not in any way that’s complicated! The simple way He has met me and the wild ones. He has just honoured tender hearts as they pursue Him in really honest and messy messy situa�ons and that just always teaches me His love for us and how it knows no bounds and in all of her intensity and inten�onally the Church just gets it wrong. The Holy Spirit is not cageable or boxable and so that makes things messy and the church wants things a li�le neater and controlled and it creates these cultures that tries to say if you want holiness here’s 5 steps to holiness. God is so rela�onal. Being in and out of churches the last 15 years there’s been a lot of fric�on for me because I have

ques�ons and I don’t want to cage God in. I’ve had a lot of leaders tell me I’m wrong or that God doesn’t talk that way but God con�nues to assure me that I know His voice, one of my life verses is about Jesus as the good shepherd talking about how His sheep know his voice. And God says to me “don’t doubt me, don’t doubt that you hear me.. That’s their own ques�on, that’s their own doubt, you don’t have to take on that doubt” He just promises me that we do know His voice.


Have you ever wanted to give up faith? How did you get through it? There have been �mes I’ve tried to give up faith, well actually there’s never actually been a �me I’ve wanted to walk away from God but there have been seasons I’ve wanted to walk away from the church and I’m in a season where I’m not in church and it’s just what I need right now. I’ve just had too many experiences with Him to deny Him even when things are really hard. There have been �mes I’ve walked away from ministry to get away from the religion. In �mes I’ve wanted to give up I’ve given myself so much grace to be honest with the Lord. I know I’m in His hands and I will never fall from His grace. So if I need a break from praying every day or worship or going to church, or I just

need a break when I’m overwhelmed I just trust that the Lord has got me and He’s never going to forsake me. When you believe that there is no room for fear.. And when you’re in seasons of doubt even if I put my book down I trust that He’s s�ll going to be there and that He will not let me lose my way. Taking God at His word, so when He says He won’t leave, that we know Him, that He knows us, and that we love because He loved us first and that He gives us faith because He chose us. So as the waves come that truth and rock never changes or moves even if everything else does and that is so powerful.

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How has God made you wilder? Man, I just feel like it’s a constant challenge of Him just loving people and challenging me to love people, being kind and being generous with my love. He is always pushing my boxes! When I think there are no boxes He points out another li�le box and I’m like “oh okay! Maybe that’s a li�le box there..” The bible talks about Jesus on the cross and it says ‘whilst we were s�ll sinners Christ died for us’ He meets us in our sin and He meets us in our mess and I’ve seen that so many �mes and it just challenges me to be a be�er lover and more present in rela�onship and even in the li�le interac�ons with people and the moments that might not ma�er and he’s always challenging me to love wider and love deeper and not from a place of deple�on and give everything, not from a place of poverty mindset but from a place of overflow! From that place of lavish lavish love and man it blows my mind and that’s why church is hard in this season, especially in the states just with the poli�cal scene and all the things that are happening and the church just isn't doing a great job at being known for their love! Jesus said to the disciples that we will be known by our love for one another and it’s like.. Yeah we're not quite there yet! I just find that really challenging when there are restric�ons around that.


What advice would you give any teenagers working their faith out today in this crazy world that are reading this mag? I would say just keep being honest. Ask the hard ques�ons, trust that you hear God’s voice and man be yourself. Don’t let your ques�ons go unanswered, doubt is fine! That’s where our faith comes in. If you doubt someone that means you believe in them. So be honest especially in those young adult/ teenage years. Don’t be afraid to be real and honest. Don’t hide from God! He sees you and knows you and He seeks you out so that should be really encouraging, not a burden. O�en when it’s a burden when we are not being honest with yourself and God so keep honesty at the forefront. Be real, the Lord will be as real as you’ll be with Him it’s such a beau�ful love exchange.

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secret garden.

Forrest Gump God’s love for me. Something I had heard about so many �mes. In my head, I knew exactly how much God loved me but in my heart I don’t think I ever made the connec�on. For God so loved the world that he gave His son… Jesus died for me? Personally? God is my Heavenly father? Okay by faith I accepted it but I can’t say I ever carried a heart revela�on of this Truth. I really really wanted to be rooted more in God’s love for me from a heart place so I spent a year just reading bible verses about God’s love for me. Every day I would read one of these verses and try and process it, but I never felt it really but I believed what I was reading. Despite that this was during a �me where I literally felt so much insecurity about myself- it was almost like my insecurity was coming up and out so God’s truth and love could come in. One pre�y normal day I was chilling at home and I put on a movie that I have seen 100 �mes… Forrest Gump. As I was watching the movie I suddenly became so aware of God’s presence- it was totally random- I felt Holy Spirit say to me ‘you’re my Jenny’ and it clicked! I suddenly completely had the head to heart connec�on that God never le� meit was me that le� him. God never gave up. He was always there with uncondi�onal love. It was like God interrupted me whilst watching this movie when I wasn't even thinking about God. Just like Forrest Gump


was ready to 100% commit to Jenni, even though she kept running away from him he never ever ever stopped loving her. He pa�ently waited for her un�l she was ready. I finally understood that God’s love is commi�ed to us. God’s love for us is pa�ent and kind. God love pursues relentlessly. I understood why the Church is called the bride of Christ. You know the look of the groomsman as his bride walks down the aisle? His eyes filled with tears? Biggest smile you’ve ever seen? That’s is the Lord’s face over His church! He totally and u�erly delights in His church. God really really loves you and He fights for you. I wonder if my pursuit of seeking understanding of God’s love through the word was the reason I had that encounter at the end of the road.. Or maybe God gave me that revela�on because He just wanted to! Who knows. But that day, the whole God loves you thing truly hit my heart and changed my mind and world.

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Social Love others as yourself

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ANNE TEPASKE unapologetically me.

Some TIPS from Anne on how to be un said full of confidence, you will never m step into our original design. Y


YOU WILL NEVER MEET SOMEONE QUITE LIKE ME.

Some TIPS from Anne on how to be 5. Get your shizz in order napologetically unapologetically yourself. When yourself. I just When met I just her shebefore you use your fears or meet someone met her quite shelike said me. fullIsn’t confidence, that soyou when weemotional scars as a mask You will never will never meetmeet someone someone quite quite likelike us.me. and have a harder time being Isn’t that true, when we step into our yourself. Seek wise counsel. original design you will never meet someone quite like you.

1. Go with your gut, sometimes it’s the only thing you can trust beside God Himself. 2. Think of the two possible situations before you make an action, would they make you happy or be at peace or would you forfeit yourself and regret it? 3. Find a killer wardrobe that makes you love looking in the mirror 4. Surround yourself with people that bring out the best in you, if they don’t, kick ‘em to the curb in a nice way. Performance doesn’t make lasting friends.

6. Come to terms with what is really you, what makes you weird. Stay weird. 7. Laugh often. The more you laugh the better outlook on life you have and then when you look inward, you’ll have more grace with yourself. 8. Find what makes you truly come alive, whether it be a relationship, a hike in the woods or a self-care regiment that fuels you. With these things in place, you will find your ‘true’ self coming out more often. Follow Anne @burninganne ♥

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unconditional lovers.


How long have you been married for? Kalee: So we celebrated 10 years of being married on the 11th July this year! Woop woop! What’s your favorite thing about each other? Tom: My favorite thing about Kalee is that she is incredibly selfless. She gives so much of her �me to invest into people, especially to our children. I admire that! She will always go out of her way to help someone even when I’m thinking ‘oh man! I don’t know if we can do that..’ Kalee will say it’s important we go out of our way for someone’I really admire that. Kalee: My favorite thing about Tom is that he is dependable. That might sound bland.. But I can rely on him. He’s hard working and he’s worked so hard at keeping our marriage alive, happy and fulfilled and I really love that about him.

How do you priori�se romance? Tom: So we have a date night once a month! It’s in the diary and nothing can move our date night out of the way. We do various things together but it’s just quality �me together where we can just chat about everything and no phones allowed! *giggles* .. we keep it alive to put �me aside because when you have kids it gets very busy. Kalee’s love language is also �me. We also some�mes get each other gi�s, and we will treat ourselves and a variety of different things.

R.

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How did having kids change your rela�onship? Kalee: There are posi�ves and nega�ves! But of course having kids is an outpour of our love. All three of them are absolute delights. Tom: It’s important for us that the kids realise we s�ll need our own �me together, that we’re a married couple and that our love produced our children. Kalee: I was saying to Tom when you get married you come in with your own world views and values which we respect in one another and you should never change those things about each other- and when you have a child *giggle* those things can some�mes cause arguments when you have a different way of doing things. And I guess it’s learning to pick your ba�les, because we have definitely clashed on paren�ng a few �mes and it’s choosing when to stand up and when to back down. It’s important that we show the kids our respect for each other.


Have you ever wanted to quit on your marriage? Tom: Yes I’m sad to say. I was in a really dark place several years ago and that season put an immense strain on our marriage. I was absent and distant and not really there and Kalee had to work it through on her own.. Kalee: We had Elisabeth and I was pregnant with Ma�hew at the �me and yeah.. It was hard.. More than hard. Tom: There were regrets from that season, but we can’t change the past but we can change the future and you learn so much from those �mes, you grow in it and it brings up things you need to deal with which is all apart of the big picture anyway but I think both of us could have walked away. I remember packing my bags and for Kalee it was a nightmare but praise God because of faithful friends and pastors we worked through those �mes. I always say to people when we do marriage prep you are two imperfect people coming together, the great thing is that God is at the centre at the rela�onship.

What memories do you have where you felt so in love with each other? Kalee: My memory has to be in the moments where we found out we were pregnant. Tiny back story.. We found it hard to conceive. I had a couple of issues with infer�lity, certainly not infer�le anymore! *giggles* praise God!! But the absolute love and joy that overflowed when we found out we were having a baby, and each �me we had each of our children. When we look at our baby and look at each other and think oh my goodness this is a product of our love.. I’m tearing up right now! It’s profound. Tom: For me, definitely that as well. Also, when we go away together. But one �me we went away and the kids were away and we booked a hotel and we got all dressed up and went for a meal.. No baby vomit or changing nappies! And just talking together, having a good laugh. Having that and just being so in love. And obviously our wedding day and having sex to be honest! *Kalee giggles*

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What advice do you have for people who want to get married in the future? Tom: For me it would be don’t get married because you’re excited about planning a wedding day. Of course it’s a great joy and celebra�on! Your married life is so much bigger than that 8 hour period which flies by.. I think some younger people base all of their joy in the wedding day and to be honest it will fail you. Think ge�ng married through.. Beyond! Don’t rush. Of course you do enjoy your wedding day, but you know what I’m saying *both giggle* Kalee: I think for me it would be if there’s anything that frustrates you already about your future hubby or wife, are they things you are already trying to change them on? And if so maybe that needs to be a check with you (if it’s nothing major) don’t go into a marriage thinking you can change them. There needs to be a mutual respect, love and some compromises along the way. So build each other up rather than trying to correct each other.


10 Ways to Love Your Friends I remember one day when I was si�ng with my sweet li�le grandma and I just wasn’t present at all in the moment with her. I wasn’t listening to what she was saying and I was daydreaming about my own desires. In that moment the Lord interrupted my thinking and I felt Holy Spirit gently say “Honey, if you miss these moments you are missing the meaning of life” …snap. Don’t you love those moments where God totally shi�s your mind on things? Rela�onships are literally the meaning of life. Rela�onship with Papa God, others and ourselves. This is what ma�ers. Before I write 10 ways to love others, and before I post cute pictures of my friends and I – let me tell you real friendship in no easy ride. Real friendship can some�mes actually be real painful. We fight for our friends. We fight for connec�on. And some�mes it’s really really hard. I have cried many tears over my friends for many reasons, and some�mes we lose friends. Now that’s rough. Behind some of these pictures with my dearest ones, there has been a lot of pain. Misunderstanding, fallouts, betrayal, isola�on, helping each other

through our heartbreaks, loved ones dying, arguments, drugs, seasons of self-destruc�on, heartache, rejec�on and working through forgiveness. Behind these photos with my darling ones there is so much joy, we’ve had the most amazing moments ever, traveling the world, so much love, understanding, choosing each other, brave communica�ng, many hugs, laughing fits, crying in each others arms, adventures, standing together through all of it, encounters with God, so many in jokes, finding ourselves, discovering our iden�ty, growing in our faith together, fes�vals, some of the greatest moments of my life. These photos are highlights in the middle of a lot of beau�ful joyous mess. Friendship can be the most beau�ful mess in the world. We must fight for our friendships. Even when we feel like giving up. I believe God designed friendships in a way where there are certain people who become close souls to you only for a season, and there are some people who you know you’re going to be friends with for life. And at the same �me, that's kinda your choice. You’ve got to choose each other. They 035 035


are your people. The people you could go a year without seeing and you go back to how it was before. People who you can pick up the phone and just say how you really feel about all the life stuff. I met a girl in L.A once and she told me that she saves up her money to take her friends out to the finest restaurants to eat the best food and drink the best wine, because her friendships were the most important thing to her. She delighted in spoiling her friends simply because she was thankful for them and she wanted to show her gra�tude for them by radical generosity. “I don’t care about money,” she says “I care about the moments with my friends”

10 Ways to Love Your Friends 1. spend your money on them buy each other meals. take each other out. buy each other gi�s. buy each other drinks. lets be more generous. lets not be �ght with our money. I’m not saying be a door ma�. but lets be more inten�onal with our money towards our friends. the last picture I just posted with the red le�er box, that pre�y girl on the le� – that’s jess. she’s one of the most generous people I’ve ever met. she buys people groceries, she throws dinner par�es for her friends, she’s always hos�ng people, cooking for people. Argh. Jess. Love you babe. I wanna be generous like her. she inspires me so much.

this inspired me I want to look a�er my best friends on a new level. I want them to feel valued and loved and appreciated a�er being with me. I want them to know that I’m in this for the long hall. And I’m willing to spend my �me, money, energy, into inves�ng in these darling ones To my dearest friends, this is for you

AS YOURSELF

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2. quality �me spend �me with them. be inten�onal with your �me. do things you all enjoy doing together. you see those two beau�ful girls in the picture under? That’s Lorna in the middle and Michelle on the right. We spend a lot of quality �me together. These girls inspire me in ways I couldn’t fit on a blog. Something I love about them is they always carve out �me for their rela�onships. Friends and family. These girls are so loyal and they always put in the extra energy. Spend �me with your friends. Even if it costs you. Go on adventures, walks, and eat together. Drink coffee, explore, chat, share. Have nights in, movie nights, bonfires in the garden nights with a lovely glass of wine, laugh together, be silly together. do things that you’re friends are interested in even if you’re not. Make �me. I know life is busy. but this is just as important as the work in our lives.

3. always be there for each other see that li�le munchkin in the nerd hat in the pic above? that’s Hollie. and holy heck we have been through so much together. there was a �me a few years ago when I broke up with a boyfriend, Hollie dropped her plans, rushed to mine and picked me flowers on the way. some of the most precious moments of my life have been laughing with my girls but actually some of the most precious ones have been where we have all seen each other in our worst possible state. we have cried a lot of tears together. share your ugly parts with your best friends as well. allow love to come in by sharing your heart in your lowest points (with the right friends of course) never be afraid to cry, and never isolate yourself from the people who love you. your friends and family count it a joy to be there for you honey. don’t rob them of that

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4. champion + pray for them you see this stunner above? that’s Kerri. Kerri is the most encouraging people I’ve ever met in my life. I say with confidence I wouldn’t be as free as I am today if it wasn’t for this woman. she calls out the gold in people to the point where people literally get free from things they have struggled with for years. and heck does this one pray. kerri covers everything and everyone in prayer and I know when I’ve had a rough day, I know I can pick up the phone and this prayer warrior will be quick to go before God with my situa�ons. she is amazing. call out the gold in your friends. you will see them become so much more free by celebra�ng their greatness.

5. communicate + choose connec�on this gorgeous lady above, this is Beth. one of the many things this one has taught me is to communicate how you feel, in order to deepen our connec�on as friends. if you need something from your friends don’t be afraid to let them know. if your friends have done something that has frustrated you let them know, if you’re friends are making dumb choices, let them know. Do what Beth does. be brave, love deeply, and communicate. Fix things that are not right. Make friendships even be�er. She’s amazing at this. she always follows her heart and she chooses to be brave in order to deepen connec�on even if it’s uncomfortable. don’t be afraid to speak up. real friends do this for each other. ‘the wounds of a friend can be trusted’ // Proverbs 27.6


6. have your girly nights now this li�le peach above to the right is Gaby. and one of the many many things I love about this girl is she always wants her girls nights with her best girlfriends, and when we are all around she always makes sure this happens. you can never get too old for slumber par�es right!?!?! make �me to have chill nights with your girls. we have had some of the greatest laughing fits on these evenings, the best chats �ll 3am, eaten all of the junk food in the world, and gone through each others hand-me-down clothes to snap up some funky new ou�its. my favourite hand-me-downs sessions are at gabys. because she is one of the stylish chicka’s I know! so I can be cool for free ; ) thanks Gabs. Love you

7. pursue them this lady above is Rhonda. can I just say guys, I’m finding it hard just picking on one point about these incredible humans, hahaha. But this woman right here fights for the rela�onships in her life. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her support. If Rhonda hadn’t of pursued rela�onship with me I wouldn’t have the honour of being apart of her family. and the blessing they are in my life honestly brings me to tears. pursue your friends. even in the hard �mes. pursue them. fight for them. or if there are people you want in your life, pursue them to. spend �me really ge�ng to know people. build new friendships. build old friendships. we don’t want to be passive. we want to make an effort and be inten�onal.

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8. gi�s + surprises dang. I’m running out of points so I’m going to have to do two in one. On the le�, this beauty is Carley. And on the right, that’s Tammy. one of the sweetest things about both of these gorgeous ones is they always buy cute li�le gi�s for their loved ones. Carley gets so excited about giving gi�s to people and loves seeing their faces as they open them. Carley on numerous occasions has bought me bath bombs and bath goodies. now you guys know me. I love my baths. this makes me feel so special. and Tammy. oh this girl is special. we have been friends for 20 years (HAHA WHAT) and we are s�ll as close as sisters. when Tammy travels to different places she would always bring cute li�le gi�s home for her loved ones. and if she sees something random that you’d like she’ll pick it up. she shows people love by her generosity and gi� giving. buy li�le gi�s for your friends. write them le�ers and notes. send post cards when you’re away. do it now and again it doesn’t have to be all the �me. though�ul gi�s is such a sweet thing to do for your friend.

9. grow in your faith together this nut on the bu�om is my spiritual soul sister Michelle. I know God brought this girl into my life. we have so much history. we pray together. we prophesy over each other. we share our processes together, what God is teaching us, growing in us, we journey together. we hit up the worship nights together, the chris�an fes�vals, we’ve traveled together, we’ve grown in God together, we’ve have encountered God in radical ways together, we’ve challenged each other, and kept each other accountable. There have been �mes where myself Michi and Lorna have stayed up un�l late into the night talking about the wonder of God! our revela�ons. and some�mes just having tons of banter and laughing our heads off. what a gi�! Michelle, my lily among the thorns!


10. love them well my best friend Lorna. another gi� from God in my life. there is too much to say about this one but one of the biggest impacts she’s had on my life is the way she loves people. Lorna doesn’t tolerate gossip about others, she shuts it down and she’s quick to stand up for those she loves. oh man this inspires me every �me. she doesn’t judge. she loves the one in front of her no ma�er their story. when I’ve made mistakes, lorna has always reminded me of the gospel, and that I’m loved even when I don’t feel like it. lorna loves her friends by keeping their trust and honouring them. I know, she would never betray anyones confidence. she doesn’t realise it at all, but she changes culture everyday just by being herself. treat your friends this way lovely ones. never gossip about them. keep their confidence. don’t tolerate anyone speaking about them to you. never judge. love uncondi�onally, just like Lorna.

by no means will friendship ever be perfect. and obviously some friends live far away. but thats cool – that doesn’t mean you can’t s�ll be best friends. make the effort. travel. meet once a year. or whatever works for you. pour what you can in your own way to the rela�onships in your life. look a�er your treasured ones. open up your heart. I know it might be a scary thought for some of you to open yourselves up to new people again, and that’s okay beau�ful, God is with you to help you open your heart one step at a �me. If you don’t have good friends in your life then I have good news for you – it was God’s idea to give humans friendship, so start praying into this and ask God to highlight people to pursue friendship with, and ask Him to bring the right people into your path. It’s never to late to have a new best friend, and God’s a good father! He will give you what you need 041


Peter Murden

Loving themselves is something men are known for but in reality bad at. Behind the bravado of arrogance is o�en an individual craving love with no idea how to get in a healthy way. Our culture tells us that ‘love’ is not something which men need and are incapable of giving. But the cravings of our own heart tell us otherwise. This leads men to forms pa�erns of dysfunc�on; unable to process their own emo�on, objec�fying women and a lack of depth in rela�onships. This speaks of my own story. Like many of us, the pains of my childhood are numerous. A life�me of experiences had caused me to expect rejec�on. Finding valida�on, a�en�on and ul�mately love consumed by behaviour. On the outside, I was confident and capable, but internally I was plagued by emo�onal inconsistency and a deep seeded fear of rejec�on. I knew I had to change. I knew that the only way of changing was to inten�onally change my behaviour. It is true that our behaviours are formed by our beliefs. But I also believe that as we make ac�ons towards our desired goal, our mindsets shi� towards it. As I started to look a�er myself, mind, body and soul, my internal world started to align. As I developed consistent prac�ces my emo�ons started to become consistent. I grew in compassion for myself and love become the predominant force in my life. Here are some of the prac�ces I developed to love myself, I suggest you give them a try, par�cularly if you’re a guy


Self-Love Club .1// a good nights sleep It is no fun for any of us when we have not had a good nights sleep. When we consistently do not get a 6-8hours sleep it has a huge nega�ve impact on mental and emo�onal capaci�es. Love your body, your mind, and your emo�ons by giving them enough sleep. 2// eat well As much as I wish we could, we cannot survive from fried chicken alone. We must give our bodies the nutri�on they deserve. For me, I try to avoid process carbs like bread and pasta and I overload on vegetables and protein (par�cularly chicken and fish). I have no�ced that when I’m ea�ng good, I am a more compassionate person, towards myself and others. Love yourself by giving it the nutri�on it needs. Oh, and drink plenty of water.

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3// priori�es what gives you energy IIn other words, give your energy to what you love. We will always feel be�er about ourselves when we are doing what we were born for. I have wri�en myself a vision statement. I use this statement as a guide when making decisions about how I use my �me, both personally and professionally. Of course, I have to do things which are not part of this vision, but my priority is always doing what I know I was born for. Do things you love. Do things you know you were born for. Because the alterna�ve is at best draining and at worst hell on earth. 4// learn to say no Once you have priori�es, we must learn to say “no” to the things which are not a priority for us. For me, a sign of someone who loves themselves is someone who knows how to set boundaries, in other words, they know how to say no. What we say “no” it actually shows people what we are saying “yes” to. 5// read In my first dra�, I recommend a par�cular book. But then I realised that there are many helpful reads. The journey of growing in self-love is just that, a journey. There are others who have walked this road before and are a li�le ahead of us. These people can offer us all help, advise and guide us. Some recommended reading: – Wild at Heart – Anything by Brene Brown 6// prac�se res�ng I have learned something about myself, when I am �red (or hungry) my emo�ons run away with themselves, I am prone to doing something stupid and I lack love (for myself and others). To avoid this, I have found the rhythm of rest. I have inten�onally put rest into my schedule. I have one evening off a week, I spend �me alone every morning and I have at least one day without ‘work’ a week. This rhythm allows me to work hard, but also play hard. The rhythm rest means I inten�onal have �me each day, and each week, to give into me instead of giving out to others.


7// journal When I started the journey toward self-love I journaled every day. At the beginning, I would write about my en�re day and how each part made me feel. This was because I needed to become connected to my emo�ons and understand why I felt a certain way when certain things happened. Now, I just journal when something significant happens, I can’t mind my peace or I need to discover how I feel about something. Love yourself by giving yourself �me to discover how we feel. Remember, emo�ons were not meant to lead us, but they are an indica�on of where we are at. 8// treat yourself We all deserve a treat, even you. I regularly treat myself. This might be 30minutes extra bed, ordering a take away when I know I shouldn’t or having a small scotch before bed. These things, and others, in modera�on all help me remember that ‘I am important’ and what I deserve to do what I love. 9// be vulnerable When we let others see our true selves, we are giving them the opportunity to love us for who we truly are. As men, we are the worse for us. Through our bravado, we project an image of ourselves which is not true. We then wonder why we do not feel truly loved. It is because we have never given someone the opportunity to. 10// challenge yourself daily The journey toward loving ourselves is unfortunately not a one-step process. In today’s culture, it takes �me and effort. But, if you simply take one day at a �me and challenge yourself to choose love and do something different daily, things will change. It won’t take long for you to look back and realise you now give yourself compassion and love when before you did not. If you need help challenging yourself, hit me up at @peter_murden. 045


My dear lover glows with health—red-blooded, radiant! He’s one in a million. There’s no one quite like him! My golden one, pure and untarnished, with raven black curls tumbling across his shoulders. His eyes are like doves, soft and bright, but deep-set, brimming with meaning, like wells of water. His face is rugged, his beard smells like sage, His voice, his words, warm and reassuring. Fine muscles ripple beneath his skin, quiet and beautiful. His torso is the work of a sculptor, hard and smooth as ivory. He stands tall, like a cedar, strong and deeprooted, A rugged mountain of a man, aromatic with wood and stone. His words are kisses, his kisses words. Everything about him delights me, thrills me through and through! Song of Songs 5 MSG


You’ve captured my heart, dear friend. You looked at me, and I fell in love. One look my way and I was hopelessly in love! How beau�ful your love, dear, dear friend— far more pleasing than a fine, rare wine, your fragrance more exo�c than select spices. The kisses of your lips are honey, my love, every syllable you speak a delicacy to savor. Your clothes smell like the wild outdoors, the ozone scent of high mountains. Dear lover and friend, you’re a secret garden, a private and pure fountain. Body and soul, you are paradise, a whole orchard of succulent fruits—Ripe apricots and peaches oranges and pears; Nut trees and cinnamon, and all scented woods; Mint and lavender, and all herbs aroma�c; A garden fountain, sparkling and splashing, fed by spring waters from the Lebanon mountains. Song of Songs 4 MSG 047


Love Island

Let’s Talk Love Island...


So I have a confession to make.. My guilty pleasure is watching da�ng tv shows. I don’t know what it is, but I just love watching the process of people’s da�ng experiences and one par�cular favorite of mine is Love Island. If you don’t know what Love Island is it’s a show that’s on every summer where the put a bunch of beau�ful humans together in a villa for 2 months and their goal is to find a boyfriend or girlfriend- and as you can imagine with that many people looking for the same thing- it can get a bit messy. I’ve been told off a few �mes for watching this show and I’ll admit I do see why.. It’s really not the best example for rela�onships.. But at the end of the day, there are 2 million young people watching this show, so let’s not ignore the fact that these programs are raising up a genera�on. Nevertheless, I always end up absolutely adoring the contestants and there are some hilarious moments in the series but on a serious note, I want to talk about some lessons from love island on sex and rela�onships that maybe we should maybe not apply to our lives.. I think back to when I was a teenager and the whirlwind romances I would find myself in. I loved the rush, I loved the excitement, I loved a bad guy. I find it so interes�ng that on Love Island, the gentlemen who have the most integrity

and respect for women don’t stand a chance with the girls because ‘they are too nice’ .. they want a bad guy instead. Which is actually kinda backward? May I introduce a new thought that actually maybe it’s the bad guys that are boring? Not the nice guys. I am bored of bad guys. Their behaviour is boring to me. I felt bored as some of the islanders boasted about sleeping with over 100 girls at the age of 21, I felt bored when one guy would promise a girl the world and the next minute he was doing the same with a new girl, I felt bored seeing how people were so consumed by the ego, and the list goes on. This kind of ‘bad boy’ behaviour is one of the most boring things I hear about. So why do we se�le for it? Why do we set the bar so low? I remember being younger and having a boyfriend who I loved and he cheated on me with another girl. I was totally heart broken, and I took him back a�er.. And of course he did it again. Why I took him back in the first place I do not know. It almost made me feel even more for him!? From dealing with these situa�ons in the past with da�ng I had to really deal with alot of insecuri�es and 049


while I’m thankful for the experience and what I learned - some of the heartache I went through was kinda unnecessary. Culture today teaches us to jump from one thing to the next and give that person everything including our body a�er date one, and I want to say loud and clearSweetheart, this is not the way. We are worth so much more. We are not learning the art sacrificial love, integrity, and perseverance through da�ng Love Island style.This kind of love that rates a person out of 10 and quits as soon as they don’t feel a buzz. What a great founda�on to building a life and raising kids on *major sarcas�c tones* So here it goes, 5 things I took from watching Love Island on what not to do in the topic of sexand rela�onships. XO 1. Feel free to say no. You are not weird if you don’t want to have sex with someone a�er one week- this makes you normal. If anyone tries to make you feel bad for this, that is their problem. When you want to say no to a date, a kiss, or sexual intercourse you are allowed to say no sweet one.

2. Don’t tolerate any crap. I think girls or guys know when they feel a funny vibe. That gut ins�nct that 90% of the �me ends up being right. If someone is leading you on and not commi�ng to you, or won’t show you off to their world, or they are chea�ng and messing about with other people and running back to you again and again, honey- show them the door. You are a mega babe and a total catch. You go�a believe that there are so many people out there that would treat you like a queen or a king. Show. Them. The. Door. 3. Love is a choice. I find it interes�ng how most of our darling islanders have this amazing summer romance and they break up a�er about 6 months. As soon as the exci�ng new feel goes and they start to do life together, they peace out because they’re just not feeling it like they did at first. Some�mes love is a choice. When you are meshing your life with someone else it can be very messy.. You have to communicate a ton, about fears, disappoint-ments, hurts, you have to process together things you feel, and work on areas in your rela�onship that need working on. You talk about the hard stuff and you work it out. There will


be day you don’t feel like being all mushy and roman�c, there will be days where they kinda annoy youand this is all normal. Of course love is a feeling, but when life is challenging, there will be days where you don’t feel it. And on those days we need to choose to love our partner, not move onto someone else because the spark has gone. The spark comes and goes as you do life. Don’t let the spark feelings be your founda�on. Let true Love be your founda�on. Love is pa�ent. Love is kind. Love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t boast. Love doesn’t give up. Love never ever fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is a sacrificial prac�se. It’s not always a feeling. 4. Don’t se�le for less than you deserve. Character is key. Do they work hard? Do they take ownership when they mess up? Are they self aware? Are they kind? Are they interested in your world? Do they fight for you in the way you do for them? Now we are all a work in progress- but I would or sure have high standards when it comes to these things when you are looking for a lover to build your life with.

5. Sex is not the founda�on of a rela�onship. Sex is a beau�ful God gi� to humanity. A stunning act of love, the most in�mate act of love you could physically share with someone else. It’s something you do with someone that actually releases chemicals in your brain to bond you to the person you are having sex with. Sex is so powerful in rela�onship but it’s not the founda�on. Sex is the fruit of an in�mate commi�ed rela�onship, it’s not the roots. So o�en we base going into a rela�onship on sex appeal. But it’s so much more than that. The roots must be friendship, trust, loyalty, wild adventure, communi-ca�on, God’s word, community. Sex or lust for someone is so o�en treated like the roots of a rela�onship and whilst sex is amazing and very important, it is only one part of the rela�onship. So there we have it; some food for thoughts. My hope for you is that you find a love that is so beau�ful and peaceful. Maybe be more open to the nice guys n gals. They will commit to you, fight for you, they will be kind to you and they will choose you and only you. It might be a change to the people you’ve dated.. but be open and I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised. 051


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Soul Mindset, feelings and vision

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bad romance. When life is a perfect roman�c love story. Pursued by love in every breath I take. Whispering the beauty of my name. Kissing me slowly in the wind of grace. Covering me in His embrace. Oh when I feel loved, I feel like the most beau�ful girl in the world. Ready for every combat and oppression. But … From �me to �me a bad boy steps into my story. The thrill of adventure in the perfume tangling around his skin. His fearless ac�ons shu�ng off my overworking brain. For some �me he numbs the pain. Till his adrenaline shot stopped working. And I need a higher dose. Every single day. Craving for a love. So addicted by pain. I try all the different candy. But I know it is a losing game. Once trapped in a bad romance. Should I believe all moments are the same? It is a ba�le between lovers. Trying to believe the lie I am not worthy of pursuing while I dive in deep trying to erase that same pain. It is a ba�le between lovers. My real lover not

forcing himself upon me, seeing him on the tv screen pursuing me in endless love stories but I’ll turn him off whenever I’m done watching. Would I dare to believe it is not just a fairytale? Would I dare to believe someone will love me just the same? Would I stop and just listen? When the staring death of my bad romances is ge�ng me insane I can no longer take it. I am screaming loud.. There has to be more. This can’t be all there is. Pursue me like never before. I can’t do this on my own. And like a rushing wind His power overflowing. Slowly but steady pursuing me in. Wild like a river. They were right all along. The fairytales were nothing like this. The roman�c movies didn’t show any of this. His wild romance is beyond my wildest dreams. I can hardly take it. I’ll never be the same. Our whole crea�on breathes love. God is love. God pursuing us in all we are. And the enemy constantly trying to lure us into a bad romance. It’s the ongoing ba�le between lovers. Yet the ba�le is already won. It is up to


us if we either chose a wild romance or a bad romance. I used to have this thing for bad boys. Oh, don’t you love those badass types in movies? My total weakness. I loved their thrill of adventure. Their rebel hearts. Their fearless approach of life. And I loved to play with their hearts. In every bored and vulnerable moment, I would meet a new face and I was done. They were my thrill of adventure. And we would never let the other in. At least that is what I thought, cause with every bad romance as exci�ng as it seems, they hurt more than the hurt you are trying to erase. A bad romance isn’t taking authority and ownership of your life, you are just playing around in a destruc�ng way. The good guys, on the other hand, seemed a tat boring. Same I felt with God. The safe boring op�on. I always knew He was there. But there had to be more. Come on, this couldn’t be it, right?! But li�le did I know when I opened all the gates and doors for God and started

walking with Him into the fire. I saw first hand God isn’t a tat boring, and the good guy I will one day marry neither. Life with God is so much more roman�c than any roman�c movie I have ever seen. Life with God is more miraculous than any crazy movie I have ever seen. Life with God is so much more ac�on than any ac�on movie I have ever seen. Don’t you love the thrill of adventure in ac�on movies? I adore the well-trained peeps figh�ng for a be�er world. They have a vision. They come into ac�on. They developed cra�manship. They are risking their lives. They are so bold. And they stand up. There is never a dull moment in their lives. And living with God is the exact same. Every single day is going on a new mission. Going on a new adventure. You are a royal warrior love. You are so gorgeous. So pursued. And soo wild. Do you dare to dive deeper into the adventure and ask some risky ques�ons to God of what is next? What is today’s mission?

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BOOKS

herglassslipper.co.uk Carrie Lloyd- Virgin Monologues

The Shack Movie

Wm. Paul Young- The Shack

Forrest Gump Movie


PODCASTS

The Daring Roman�cs on a succesful lifestyle

#rela�onship goals, by transforma�on church on youtube Talking Sex w/ Mo Isom

moralrevolu�on.com

Accountability for Couples w/ Cole & Caitlin Zick

Rela�onships & Sex with in�macy 057


Rebelheartsrebelgirls You won’t find him on Love Island. He’s not on �nder. He won’t play you or slay you in front of your friends. He’s no need to flex or get vexed. He always pays his way. Lasts beyond the next day. His love roars. His love bleeds. He fights for you with all his might. He’s there all through the night and in the light of day. He’s asking can I stay with you forever and hold you �ght. Right? Yes. Right. His name is Jesus. | @Rebelheartsrebelgirls, rebelheartsrebelgirls.com

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Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.


Let's take the shame of us wanting to have sex. God created sex. We are humans, we are meant to have sex and enjoy it to the fullest. Designed so we can be one with our chosen one and understand more of Gods love. But being single or while dating your sexual desires can often feel more like a curse than a blessing. How do I survive? How do I set boundaries? How do I tame my longings?

Sexual desires 1. be careful with what you watch, movies with sexual scenes, tv programs talking about sex, reading about it, all light a little spark towards wanting to have sex. 2. ‎hormones, learning a thing or two about your hormones will help you too. Hormonal cycles, foods that stir it up (oh hello healthy powders) 3. ‎don't go into visualizing, especially for you dreamers that visualize everything. Going into dreaming on the sexual stuff makes you very aware that you are single, not married and def not ready. Don’t do that to yourself. 4. A sexual longing is a longing for connection, what connection are you longing for? That gorgeous man or woman that will be yours, to get rid of some pain, to feel wanted, do you actual long for some time with Papa?

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God is raising up a genera�on of leaders who will stand for what is true and what is good. Genera�on is not an age specific term, embrace your leadership and get humble. Jesus was a servant king and taught others through the way he lived his life. While you don’t understand your previous season God has been preparing you for a �me of leading ahead. The quali�es you have learnt and the character he has moulded in you are crucial for you and the people around you. Don’t ever forget how important you are! Rela�onships with integrity and Jesus at the centre are a calling on your life - lead by example. Dark nights and cooler temperatures remind us that a season can change in a second and nothing remains the same. One constant is your lord and saviour Jesus Christ, be s�ll and remember he is your first love...there is nowhere you can go to escape his love. You can trust him with everything, he knows your prayers before you even speak them and he is closer than the air that you are breathing. Wonderful victory and glorious celebra�on is ahead, get ready!


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thankful hearts.


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sacred gratitude.


warrior Body ength energy, str ty and maturi

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vibrant bodies. chasing bodies

There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact... In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body. 1 Corinthians 6:16-20 MSG


It is funny how the word marriage would make me cringe so bad spoken out the mouth of my one month fling as a young teen yet I had no problem sticking my tongue down his throat. And the next boy. And the next. And as teens get older bodies get chased down more. As if life didn’t have any consequences, and you would never become one with anyone, cause clearly we are in control, we are the boss of our own bodies, right?! Well in reality marriage is the easier option between marriage and sex. Marriage is choosing someone to do life with, having sex is becoming one spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. That is quite something else. You are not only mixing your bodies together. Your emotions get intertwined. Your spirits dance together. You open yourself up and enter each other all the way. A longing for sex is a longing for connection. Playing around, and having sex, might give you such a taste of being so highly connected, loved and alive for a while. But the moment will go and you’ll only need more, and feel emptier along the way if you actually aren’t together. Yet when you are really choosing for someone, not only the choice but taking that choice into action by marrying that one, it’s in

black and wite right, sealed deal. Your sex life will flourish like never before. Sex is the foundation to go deeper emotionally, spiritually, physically. But if you don’t take that connection into real life, then you’ll feel disconnected more than before intercourse. That is why you should have sex with only one, cause you can’t maintain staying connected emotionally, spiritually, physically and guarding each other’s heart on a daily base with all the people you had sex with. God can totally cut those ties. Work on your sex life together. Work on your emotional life together. Work on your spiritual life together. Search connection in every area of your life. And with that you can dig into all aspects of life deeper than ever before, and you’ll have sex like you have never had before. I honestly believe it will only get better and better if you choose connection even in the dumbest things. Forget all the taglines in magazines. Go for connection. I am done chasing bodies. I am done chasing highs. I am ready for pursuing the one in front of me, diving deeper into connection. Diving deeper into life. Diving deeper into love. And every time choosing to see the person in front of me.

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Intimacy with God. by Ruth Habegger


I believe that this is the very core of what we were born to for. To be deeply known and loved by our Creator and in return to seek Him and love Him with our everything. The more I get to know God, the hungrier I get to know Him even more. It’s an upside-down kingdom, the more you eat, the hungrier you get. Intimacy with God for me means that I am chosen, loved and wanted by the King of Kings, that nothing and no one can ever snap me out of His loving embrace. I can come just as I am, happy, sad, angry, disappointed, silly, tired, insecure. He is my safe place, my peace and my home. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29,13

For a while I lost my hunger for more of Him through disappointment, grieve, anger, unforgiveness and religion. I knew that I was born to be a burning one, so I gave up my home and my career and moved across the globe to a place full of hungry ones, to find healing for my heart and catch the fire again. What changed me, healed me and brought me back to life were my encounters with Jesus, alone in my bedroom on the carpet. Where I saw Him for who He is and He told me who I am in His eyes. There is this chorus from a song: “I’ve seen I AM, now I know who I am.” This is so true. We find ourselves when we lose ourselves in Him. Intimacy as Kris Valloton always says means in-to-me-you-see.

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For me being intimate with God doesn’t always mean that I have to spend hours in prayer locked up in my room. Sometimes in the hectic of my daily life I only get 3 minutes with Him in the morning while putting my make up on. But that’s enough to realign myself with His truth and start my day right.

King, it’s the very thing we were born to do.

But as it is with the ones we love, if I don’t spend time with Him, however that looks like, I miss Him intensely. My heart and Spirit long for Him, just to be with Him. He is not a religious concept; He is a person.

Friends are the family we choose, so we choose those people because we love them for who they are and probably also for who we are when we are with them.

Think of your best friends, do you only call them when you need them to do something for you? Or when you’re unhappy? I really don’t hope so.

It’s the same with God. So why not instead of messaging your friend every detail of your day simply tell it to God?

Intimacy with God is not just reading a verse in our Bible every morning or raising our hands in worship on Sunday morning, intimacy with God about telling Him all our crap and asking Him to make our lives better. Intimacy is our deepest depths of our hearts connecting with the heart of our Father, our Creator, our

I talk to Him throughout the day, all day long. I tell Him what I love, what makes me mad and mostly I just thank Him for I see His beauty in goodness everywhere I go.

On a practical level: I delete all my social media on a regular basis, whenever I realise that I spend more time on there then with God.


I choose to have a thankful heart I ask the Holy Spirit every morning, what Psalm I should read that day and I always read the verse of the day on my bible app. The bible reveals the fullness of who He is in such an incredible way. “Whatever steals your fire, throw it away.” Brian Jonson I don’t leave the house before I’ve spent time with Him, even just for 3 minutes I choose to worship Him every day, no matter any feelings or circumstances, because He AL-WAYS deserves our praise I’ve invited people into my life who I trust with my whole heart and I gave them permission to speak into every area of my life I live in community with hungry ones, burning ones and together we press in for the more of Him. My lifeline this summer has been prayer meetings with my one close friend.

I can’t be in nature and not feel God. So whenever I feel disconnected, I get outdoors into the forest or drive up to the mountains and just talk to Him and listen to Him “Draw near to me and I will draw near to you.” James 4:8 Find out what drawing near to Him looks like for you and then do it. Because you were created for it.

I talk to all three of the Trinity throughout the day, telling my thoughts, fears, joys and prayers for people I meet throughout the day

Ruth Habegger | @liligracy

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your sex takes me to paradise. My body is a temple in which I worship the Highest of highest. He pursued me like no one ever before. Formed me in love. Walked with me every step and breathe. Knowing, loving and seeing every inch of me. Loving the One teaching me so much about loving the one. And vice versa. The veil is broken. We are no longer separated. Now we are one. I am His. And He is mine. Sex is the deepest form of how we can love and give ourselves to a human being. God made sex with a purpose. Not the thing that is portrayed by the world. But a connec�on which teaches us more about the Father’s heart. Sex is a weapon in marriage against the enemy, says Mo Isom. It is a unifying weapon. Prior to marriage, the enemy will do everything to drive you together, within marriage he will do everything to drive you apart.

Our world is so very oversexualised cause it is sooo powerful. We worship God with our bodies. Our bodies are temples. Living in sexual sin is sinning against our own sacred bodies, we choose to become one with someone other than the One. With Jesus dying He tore the veil, He brought us back into the Holy of Holies. He is having real deal rela�onship with us face to face. Talking to us in the middle of our dirt. Together we can spend �me in the Holy of Holies, our secret place. Our secret garden. Your lover is your secret garden too. Dear lover and friend, you’re a secret garden, a private and pure fountain. Body and soul, you are paradise. Having sex is a humanly secret place.


Sex is meant for the deepest connec�on. Connec�ng as one. Yet it is also the biggest separa�on you can get into. Choosing a bad romance over a wild romance, choosing the devil over God, means the biggest tearing apart you can ever choose for. You are choosing death over life. Your spirit is tearing away from God. Without a spirit, you are dead. And you’ll never live. With a spirit, you are wildly alive, and you’ll become more alive every step of the way. Choosing to have sex outside of being married (choosing for someone to be the only one), is tearing you apart from connec�on. You can’t be one, with mul�ple ones. You’ll tear yourself apart. And you’ll feel yourself further from the One than ever before. You are losing the connec�on with yourself. You are losing the connec�on with God. And you are losing the connec�on with your lover.

Sex outside of marriage tastes like religion. The first thing when Eve was created God said and they become one. God wove sexual pleasure into it all to be so connected to each other that new life will be created from that place. Birth is a gorgeous miracle we s�ll can’t really wrap our minds around. Kids are a miracle from Heaven. So yes sex should take us to paradise to get those miracles from Heaven. Sex is worship. We should glorify God with our bodies and soul. Living a life of worship. God is not all of sudden not present when we are having sex. He is always near. Especially when we have sex. God is all about connec�on and in�macy. Sex, the deepest in�macy with a human being, teaches us worship, the deepest in�macy with God. Both complete surrender and electricity burning through our veins. Sex should take us to paradise cause it shows us Gods love.

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Do You Know How Many Husbands I Would Have?

If God really did answer every one of my prayers, I would have married my fourth grade crush, Kyle. My sixth grade boyfriend, Christopher. My seventh grade first real relationship, unnamed. And some of the inbetween from thirteen to today. Lol. Thank God for what didn’t happen amiright or amiright? A few weeks ago I was in my living room with some friends and we were all talking about the crazy things that have been going on in our lives lately. And without thinking, I blurted out and was like, “Man.. Can you imagine if God answered every prayer we prayed? ….Do you know how many husbands I would have?!” *inserts facepalm emoji* Obviously kidding. I mean, kind of??

Which I said this as a total joke but really. What if God answered EVERY prayer we ever prayed? Every prayer that came from a selfish request. Every prayer that came out of emotion and desperation. Every prayer that was for something that seemed good at the moment. You know? Some of us would be in some deeeeeep trouble. What about the prayers we prayed for things we really thought we needed? The prayers for the things we were so expectant for? What about the


prayers that seemed right? That seemed good? That seemed necessary? When we see our prayers answered, we get so giddy. Rightfully so, because God is a sovereign God and He is a GOOD God. We are so quick to thank Him for all the things He allowed to happen and we are so quick to throw up our hallelujah for the people he brought into our lives. We are real good at thanking Him for what He has done, but we are real blinded to all of the things He didn’t do. I’ve said this many times, but honestly. More than any lesson I have learned, more than anything someone has taught me. More than anything — I have learned to thank God for what DIDN’T happen.

We have to understand that everything God withheld from us is just as important, if not more important, than the things He did give us. Because what He withheld from us made room for what He intended for us. In our own humanity we don’t understand why things happen the way they do. We don’t understand why that person walked out of our lives, or why God had US walk out of their lives. We don’t understand why someone else got the promotion. We don’t understand why our big plan fell through. We don’t understand why we hurt the way we do sometimes.

What do you mean? If God gave us everything we thought we needed, I guarantee we wouldn’t be where we are today. If God allowed the people we thought were good for us to stay in our lives for as long as we thought needed, I guarantee we wouldn’t be who we are today. If God gave us every job we asked for, I guarantee that we wouldn’t have had the connections he intended us to have today.

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And it’s funny because so many us sit here today and we are so in awe of where God has taken us. We are so thankful for everything He’s done and all the things He’s completed. But we miss all of the things that didn’t happen.

In our own humanness, when something isn’t happening the way we really believe it’s suppose to happen we automatically grasp hold of the idea that something is wrong with us or we are doing something wrong. When the person we had feelings for walks out with no explanation, we automatically examine ourselves to try and figure out why. When the other person gets the job we were wanting, we automatically think we weren’t good enough. When nothing is happening how we anticipated, we think we missed something. But what our human eyes cannot see is all of these things taking place was to clear up the spot for what God intended the entire time.

When we really look back over our lives and begin to notice all the things He withheld, our praise get louder for the things He kept from us over the things He gave to us. Because all of these people, jobs, relationships, friendships that we believed were good for us — He had a different plan all along. So really.. I don’t know about you but my life is a whole lot of, Thank you God for allowing that job to fall through. Because it made space for the one you intended that I have now. Thank you God for allowing me to walk out of that relationship. Because it made space for me to ready for the right one you intended in your timing.


Thank you God for allowing that friend to cut ties. Because it made space for me to have fruitful friendships and not draining ones. Thank you God for allowing me to walk in the dark seasons longer than I wanted. Because it made space in my heart for you to teach me what was necessary for the next season. It’s because of what DIDN’T happen that we could experience what DID happen. It’s because of what DIDN’T happen that we could appreciate what DID happen. It’s because of what DIDN’T happen that we could love what DID happen. It’s because of what DIDN’T happen that we are who we are, today. And only a God wise enough as Him would be so witty to have our lives play out like this. Because in the piles of confusion and ache, we can all look back and see a holy depiction of grace in each step.

Written by Hope Moquin * hopemoquin.com * @hopemoquin

Thanks God, for what didn’t happen.

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Modesty Talk. Did you cringe with the word modesty? I used to so bad. Modesty sounds a tat boring and full of rules you absolutely can’t break. No one could come between me and my mini skirts, shorter the be�er. Seriously it wasn't my problem, a boy couldn’t handle my (lack of) skirts. But honestly, I did not think that the guy would be affected by my clothing and body. Oh, how naive. When men see beauty they want to hunt it down. Especially if their view is blurred by lust and don’t quite know how to dis�nguish that from love. Healthy men have the ability to love our breast, and hips, and bellies in a way no one can. He will indulge in them. And make you feel the most gorgeous girl in the whole world. ‘’She surpasses them all.’’ It's funny that they are the most of our hate zones, cause they are so powerful. Let's not play with our men, shall we? They have it hard enough in this oversexualised world. This absolutely doesn't mean girls aren't sensi�ve. I absolutely don't pay a�en�on to your face when I am drawn to your gorgeous upper body and why you do this to me.


Some modest fashion �ps: Personally I hate rules, don't worry these are just habits se�ng you up for success to clothe like you and not as a body. So we can dress like the queens we are. 1. BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS Don't hide your boobs. Figure out what type of bra you love and buy yourself a right fi�ng one. Always opt for the classier version in clothes, not the boring or slu�y one. The bigger the boob the more chance of them falling out. You are a warrior so give yourself some space to move and be in ac�on without worrying to hold all on board. 2. I like big bu�s and I cannot lie I give you permission to wear shorts and skirts cause I know some of you are trying to hide your boo�es. And some of you need to put some fabric on that bu� of yours. I don't need to see your bu� cheeks your face cheeks are enough mkay. Seek out the balance in your clothes. What is your fave waste line? On your hips, around your belly bu�on, just underneath your breasts? Get to know your body. And dress it in love.

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3. If you are not wearing clothes

ready to kick some ass you are wearing the wrong ou�it. Too �ght to breathe. Too short to move. Too delicate to dance. Girl when are you planning to live. I want to run around chasing kids. I want to be ready to dance whenever. I want to be ready to go on a li�le spontaneous adventure. And you can look more gorgeous in those clothes than in your cocoons, it’s �me to fly.

4. Stop wearing trends I see so many gorgeous women wearing "trendy' clothes and making their bodies look awful. The designer didn't design them for YOU, so stop wearing that bullshit. Wear clothes so YOU. Wear clothes complemen�ng your gorgeous figure. Go out of your comfort zone. If you can't find that sold in stores, go to thri� stores. They have all styles. And it is so much be�er for the environment and wallet as well. Take some risks!


FAMFAMFAM Maybe you are reading this magazine and you've never given your heart to Jesus. Maybe you feel a pull on your heart by something you can't quite put your finger on. God's spirit is with you right now calling you home, He wants to love you, be a father to you, provide for you and care for you. Jesus has done all of the hard stuff for you to be right before God. There's nothing you need to do, you can have forgiveness right now, you can enter into an eternal, uncondi�onal rela�onship with Jesus right now. It's totally free. No strings a�ached. His spirit won't leave you. He wants to take you on an adventure of a life�me.. You can give your life to Jesus right here right now by saying a simple prayer and then I suggest trying to find a local church you can get plugged into so you can meet some of your new family.

Pray with me, lovely one. Dear Lord Jesus, I know I'm a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe you died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my way and I invite you to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow you as my Lord and Saviour. In Jesus name, Amen

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WILD HEARTS wild is messy. wild is passionate. wild is wholehearted. wild is daring. wild are queens. You are a wild one. You know. So wild. Yet so tender. And loving. So selfless loving. Figh�ng for a be�er world. Just being you. wild is being in over your heart. wild is stretching the borders. wild is protec�ng. wild is being alive. wild is a lover risking all.

WILD HEARTS MAGAZINE

Profile for Wild Hearts Magazine

Wild Hearts Magazine x Wild Romance 03  

Wild Romance, the battle between lovers. Do you choose a bad romance or a wild romance? Oh and we talk about sex.

Wild Hearts Magazine x Wild Romance 03  

Wild Romance, the battle between lovers. Do you choose a bad romance or a wild romance? Oh and we talk about sex.

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