The importance of self love through the years of late adolescence Learning to grow by yourself and define your own self worth

Selflove, the concept of appreciating yourself for who you are as an individual and fulfilling needs for self-happiness and self- respect. As a teenager, it is important to understand the true meaning of self-love and the ef- fects that may not even be known to one’s own mind. When speaking on self- love it is crucial to recognize that not every- body is able to appreciate themselves to their fullest potential, making the journey that much more vital. At one point in everyone’s life, it is safe to say that many feel as if they did not or do not love themselves, and I believe that is the start of the journey of self-love. Being able to acknowledge self- doubt is one thing, but acting on it in a positive way is beneficial in the long run. It may take days and weeks to come to the realization and even longer to get oneself to act on it, but acting is the goal. Each individual will go on their own self-love journey at one point in their lifetime; some do without even knowing. With this being said, each journey presents itself in different paths and ways in which are right for each individual. When starting the journey, the most important step to take into account is respecting yourself. Self-respect not only brings out a happier side of yourself, but it actually affects how you interact and form relationships with others. Depending on yourself rather than others is a crucial point in respect and even the development of social behaviors and relationships. If you cannot have respect for your own self as an individual, then what type of respect do you think you deserve from other people? Self-respect just simply makes people feel and look more confident. The confidence you feel will reflect the confidence and security you feel towards others. The “golden rule” of treating others the way you want to be treated learned in Pre-K should follow people for the rest of their lives; why do we think so many people still remember this rule? By respecting yourself, you are in full control over what you allow into your life.

By Isabelle O’Connell Editor-in-Chief

In the simplest of words, nobody else can define your self worth other than yourself. Self-worth is and can be a struggle for many people to come to terms with. We too often let other people’s opinions of us define our own worth. By this, we think of ourselves in a certain more degrading way than we typically deserve. In the world more often than not, we automatically settle for what we think we deserve and are worth. In most cases, we settle and we do not exceed nor satisfy our full potential. For high schoolers especially the opinions and influence of others can just be so powerful and convincing that it is so easy to fall under the trap. Being able to recognize when others’ opinions are getting to someone and starts to make people overthink is the first step in realization. From this we have to reflect on the situation and have the maturity to understand who we are as individuals. Reflecting upon others’ opinions, especially negative, can be challenging because it could very well be some of our closest friends’ influences. At the end of the day, high school is a challenging time in terms of finding and realizing one’s identity. Doing so under the influence of others is that much tricker. At a certain age, teenagers have the experiences and maturity to realize who they are as a person, and who they want to be and how they think of themselves.

For me, my journey started when I entered high school. Growing up, I lived in a household full of people surrounding me at all times. I live with my mom and dad, my three older sisters, my amazing dog, and my nana. When I first came into high school my sisters were all in college, my twin sisters being freshmen and my oldest sister a junior. This was the first time in my life that I was really alone, separated from my biggest support systems for the first time in my life. Starting high school as a scared freshman and having my sisters all abruptly leaving at the same time was hard on me when I needed a friend. Nevertheless, high school was harder. There was not a day that went by my freshmen year that I did not miss my middle school and at times I even wished that I went somewhere else for high school. There were just constant labels being put on people, and for me it was always “try hard”. Now that I think about it, I actually have been called that my whole life. It bothered me at first because I never understood the negativity around the label and what bothered me more was that people were not acting or doing things unlike themselves just to look or seem cool. I am so thankful that I always stayed true to myself in those situations. It took me a lot of time to not care what other people thought of me and it took even longer to feel ok in my own skin in high school. But throughout everything, I never forgot the words my dad told me “trying hard is cool, just because you aren’t doing what those other kids are doing doesn’t make you any less than them. Your hard work will pay off for you one day. You’re a good kid, the best I know.”

Throughout the late teenage years, it is important to also learn what it is like to be by yourself. When saying this it is not meant to read as being lonely, but more so as being alone. As a teenager, this may sound crazy because essentially all of these years are spent in school with classmates and friends. However, finding a healthy balance between alone time and social time is extremely crucial. It may be hard to think about but following high school, you are essentially on your own the rest of your life. Learning to find independence and learning to be okay on your own will make loving yourself that much more possible. Treating yourself with kindness, and doing things you enjoy doing for yourself rather than others is crucial. Sometimes, it is ok to be selfish; we as people do not always have to be selfless.

The journey of self-love is really just finding ways to love yourself which will improve your life. Being aware of life goals and aspirations, and being able to achieve them is definitely part of that journey. A big part of fulfilling needs to love oneself and their wants and needs for their life is making goals a reality. Being aware of the components of life that have yet to be achieved but a near future makes for hopefulness and something to strive for. For high schoolers specifically there is always that thought of what is next after those four years. Many make it a goal to plan their future ahead of them and work towards attending college while others plan to take different paths. While this is a goal to aspire for, being able to recognize the future is ahead but not right now is equally as important. Rather than making career changing goals as seventeen and eighteen year olds, focusing on making short term goals such as what to complete this week in and out of school that will make you feel successful and accomplished for yourself can make for a more beneficial accommodation. Be in touch with yourself and your limits, never stray from where your gut leads you.