Social media and friendships

Social media can negativly affect friendships significantly

By Alexa Dayaa Staff Writer

A good friendship should be mostly positive, trusting and uplifting, but this is not always the case. A big reason for this is because of social media. Apps like instagram, TikTok and Snapchat can be fun, but do have issues. When people access these platforms most gain a sense of toxicity no matter what kind of person they are. Social media can be used for very negative things and it ruins friendships constantly. There can be many reasons for this–comparison, miscommunication, perceived fakeness and other situations. I, like most teenagers, love social media and use it a lot but that does not excuse that it is such a bad place and it should not be where myself and others spend most of our time.

Friendships are built on the time people spend together, and when I physically see my friends, I not only have fun but get a better understanding of who they are as people. Social media has clouded this idea of quality time, because people now think online interaction can replace physical interaction which is not true. Texting my friends is nowhere near as exciting or fun as seeing them in person. Facetime can in some ways be similar but in some cases it is awkward or just boring. People need to stop assuming that they can stay connected to friends online. Although social media is good for situations when you need to reach out or circumstances when you legitimately can not reach the person, it should not be taking over the time you physically spend with them. In my experience, talking to my friends online more than in person creates tension and slowly creates distance. I believe the reason that past generations were perceived as “fun” and “cool” is because friendships did not revolve around social media, and most communication happened in person. Taking the time to genuinely enjoy the people around makes friendships stronger while taking no time to be around others weakens friendships.

Social media has also turned into a competition instead of a social platform. These days lots of people scroll the internet to see what certain people are like or even see what different friend groups are like. Some people even go as far to make fun of those with less trendy or “weird” social media accounts. If someone does not have a lot of followers or a high snap score, some people go to the extent of thinking they are “not as cool”. It sounds childish but it definitely does happen, especially in this generation. There is now an imaginary social hierarchy that tells people that how many instagram comments you have determines your entire social life. Or that someone’s aesthetic VSCO profile automatically puts them high on the social scale.

The other thing social media tends to do is create lots of miscommunication. People on social media can be much different than they are in real life. When people are fighting with friends sometimes they say things that they do not mean. They gain the confidence to say these things with the protection of a screen. Most people are guilty of this, as they know that what they say will not have immediate consequences. Plenty of friendships are lost when people develop a sort of altered personality that gives them the confidence of hurting people with their words. In real life an argument is much more calm and easy to resolve, and you can’t say anything too hurtful because you’ll have to deal with the reaction from a friend that will soon follow. For groups of friends, social media can be even more negative. It makes it much easier to leave people out or talk behind their back. One example is a big group chat involving lots of friends. Some like to make their own smaller group chat leaving people outandeventalkingaboutthepeople in the bigger group chat. This might be seen as a rare experience but it does happen and makes people feel left out and oftentimes hurt. What people usually say is that what is put on the internet stays on the internet, and not only that but no matter how secret someone thinks their action may be, someone will always find it. Which is why social media is such a bad place for people to share their opinions about their friends because in most cases it can become exposed. Real friendships should not involve a hurtful text or a secret post about them in their story, but instead talk ing things out with them in person. In person interactions really help you become more of yourself and show a person’s personality clearer. In my opinion, the best type of peo ple to come across are actually those who don’t rely on social media to car ry their social life. My best friend and I always make the effort to hang out and seeing her so much makes it eas ier to resolve our conflicts and also strengthens our friendship. Those who can hang out for over a couple hours and not even need to use their phone. What many, including myself, fail to realize is that it can actually be negatively impacting your closest friendships and is a huge roadblock into enjoying the people around you.