UN-FORTUNE-ATE!
E? N U T OR .. F F AY. O Nothing puts that button on some S SS E I MSG-laced, coma-rendering Chinese K CIU O takeout, like the ever-informative, words CO NFU of “wisdom” found in a fortune cookie. O The following are some of those C cookies’ hidden gems (as well as a little commentary for further enjoyment)!
No o futuren. e(Acnan walk backwards into the y Wh crack atotvians wanna take a his one?) A wise m s. a (This is thne Begins by asking many question fortune the ki s e s i d who ra his hand too much keeps getting.) Now pursue thisathe time to go ahead and t lo Downey Jr. ve interest! (Robert , here I come.)
Now is a good t chyu know bout ime to buy stock. (What day trading, cookie?!)
Mil (Whetheres are covered one step at a time. or n priate shoesot you’re wearing approis a different story.)
Ton by passiigohnt you will be blinded to be excit.e(Not sure whether d or terrified.)
Penni to your deso from heaven find their way orstep for the “h this year. (Thanks eads up”.)
Romance . mo (That hapvpes you in a new direction e n e d t o K i m n w e h she hooked up with Kanye!)
Totally useless fact: Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
Others c (Were theayn help you now. hogtied before?)
The weat her i the person not s wonderful. (Says living in Florida.)
campus talk
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july 2013
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