Whitman Pioneer - Fall 2010 Issue 5

In this issue

Grazing policies need reform Columnist Rachel Alexander explores grazing alternatives in the American West. page 6

Shall we dance?

Whitman institutes video streaming

Student-led ballroom dance classes provide an entertaining, easygoing atmosphere. page 5

Whitman athletics provides payper-view video streaming for home matches. page 7

WHITMAN COLLEGE Walla Walla, WA Volume CXXVII Issue 5 whitmanpioneer.com October 14, 2010

Walla Walla to face deep cutbacks in state funding Local agencies and organizations including Walla Walla Community College and Walla Walla County Human Services to receive less money

PHOTOS BY FENNELL fiscal years beginning with the 20112012 budget--figures that exceeded initial projections--extensive cuts are planned statewide, not excepting small towns like Walla Walla.

Given the fact that a high percentage of Walla Walla residents are As a result of the state’s 4.5 billion dollar budget deficit, many of Walla Walla’s state-funded institutions and social service agencies are preparing to significantly restructure their programs.

by WIll witwer Staff Reporter

The state of Washington is in a fiscal crisis, and many government programs are on the chopping block; this

includes cuts to community and technical colleges, the Department of Corrections and the Department of Social and Health Services. With the legislature facing an estimated 4.5 billion dollar budget deficit over the next two

employed by both the Washington State Penitentiary and Walla Walla Community College (WWCC), two state-funded institutions that face significant cuts, the budget deficit has the

Bon Appétit varies from campus to campus Student preferences and geography play roles in variations ranging from Whitman’s decentralized dining halls with limited hours to difficulties sourcing local produce

by MOLLY JOHANSON Staff Reporter

The Trail Room at Lewis and Clark College in Portland is in many ways like Café 66 here at Whitman College. It offers pizzas, a grill menu and specialties and, like Whitman’s dining facilities, is run by Bon Appétit Managing Company (BAMCO).

But as of this year, the Trail Room is open until midnight. This and other changes stemmed from action by a student committee. While Bon Appétit has common threads at its campuses nationwide, its dining halls, hours and environmental practices vary from school to school.

Decentralized Dining There are many reasons why the longer hours at Lewis and Clark don’t occur at Whitman, the most prominent of which is our multiple dining halls. Unlike most

peer colleges, Whitman has three full kitchens and four operating dining halls, two of which run seven days a week. Most peer schools only have one full kitchen; this allows for much more flexibility in dining hall hours.

Whitman has always had decentralized dining halls. According to Whitman Treasurer Peter Harvey, there was a fund-raising effort in the late 1980s to build a central dining hall on campus. The proposal was strongly rejected by both alumni and students and the project failed. No one could bear to part with their dining halls.

They are very much a part of Whitman’s identity.

“One of the things I liked about Whitman was the multiple dining halls,” firstyear Erik Feldman said. “Each one is different and has its own character.”

Because of this unique set-up, the way

Bon Appétit is fashioned here differs from other schools. More dining halls cost more money because they must hire more staff and be open more total hours. This is effectively why the dining halls are only open for only an hour at a time. Making the hours staggered, as well as keeping Café 66 open slightly longer is meant to combat the issue.

The size and layout of the dining halls also prohibit using declining balance, a flex dollar-oriented meal plan which, according to Sam Currie, the BAMCO district manager of the West Coast, is rising in popularity. More schools are using this method of payment because it seems to increase student satisfaction.

Currie explained that the process of deciding how Bon Appétit is run at different facilities can be complicated. As part of his BON APPÉTIT, page 2

potential to reshape the city.

WWCC serves over 13,000 students from across the Walla Walla Valley.

College administrators believe they need to plan for the loss of 10 percent of their state allocation, a cut that comes on top of last year’s 15 percent cut which resulted in a loss of 3 million dollars. And administrators are not sure that this money is coming back.

“We are of the mind that this is a long term issue,” said Davina Fogg, vice president of financial services for WWCC. “That it’s not like it’s a bubble and we’ll be getting the money back in a couple of years. This is what we’re calling the new normal.”

With an understanding that whatever programs and services they cut could be lost forever, the college is faced with a kind of identity crisis: do they cut academic or vocational programs? What kind of school should they become?

“When you’re budgeting for things like this you don’t want to overreact and make cuts that you can’t somehow get back,” said Fogg. “For instance, if we were going to cut a program, it’s very hard to then get the momentum back up and the students into it.”

WWCC will look primarily at programs that have low enrollment and that have failed to produce real job

opportunities as potential targets for elimination, but Fogg declined to specify any further information given that no real decision has been made.

Fogg estimates that the school will be unable to serve the equivalent of 250 full-time students with the aforementioned 10 percent cut.

“I feel like the quality of our instruction and our ability to meet students’ needs is going to be severely impacted at the cut levels we’re currently talking about,” she said.

The college is nonetheless attempting to preserve its instructional capacity by not filling vacancies, particularly at the administrative level, and by cutting down already small travel and equipment budgets.

In a different part of Walla Walla, the penitentiary has thus far avoided significant cuts, which according to Tim McCarty, director of support services for the city, is due to pressure from residents.

“They were on the chopping block at one point for as many as 300 jobs but escaped cuts in large part because of some significant lobbying from people here who said, ‘We need that; that’s important to us’,” said McCarty.

According to seattlepi.com, the Department of Corrections must cut 52 million dollars this year, and more CUTBACKS, page 3

Octopus supporters up in arms at city meeting

by MOLLY JOHANSON Staff Reporter

On the crisp afternoon of Monday, Oct. 11, the Walla Walla City Hall was at full capacity. Tie-dyed octopus shirts dotted the room. It was clear this was no ordinary city council meeting.

The reason for this increased turnout concerned the last item on the agenda for the evening: the Inland Octopus facade.

This large, colorful mural, located above the Inland Octopus toy store at 7 E. Main St., has been the cause for much controversy in Walla Walla since it was painted last month. The purpose of the meeting was to discuss the mural’s violations of the city code.

City Attorney Tim Donaldson ‘84 outlined in a letter the issues against

the mural. The issues pre-mural are that Bob Catsiff, the store owner, did not obtain a permit to close the sidewalk during the painting process, nor did he obtain authorization to paint a wall sign.

The issue post-mural is the question of whether or not it falls under the category of a wall sign. A wall sign is defined as, to quote Donaldson’s letter, “Something painted directly on a wall which ‘identifies, advertises and/or promotes [a business].” In one respect, the mural can be interpreted as a sign because it has been used in print advertisements. If it is strictly defined as a sign, however, the mural is four times too big and about five feet too high.

“The vagueness of the definition of a sign in the code makes it unenforceOCTOPUS, page 3

Composting grows on campuses nationwide

by SHELLY LE Staff Reporter

With so much food often placed on our plates, it is easy to be unaware of where it all eventually ends up. According to an article in the New Scientist on July 31, sixteen percent of the energy consumed in the United States is used to produce food, yet at least 25 percent of food is wasted each year.

Colleges and universities nationwide are working to change this waste cycle by implementing systems to compost their food waste.

Although the Whitman Organic Garden has long had its own composting system, this fall, Whitman established its first all-campus system. Each residence hall section has a composting container that students empty into tumblers located behind Anderson and Jewett Halls. The program aims to not only reduce food waste within the residence halls, but to also educate

students on maintaining a sustainable environment.

Marshall University in Huntington, W. Va. has also enacted a new composting system. However, unlike Whitman’s program, Marshall composts food waste produced within its central cafeteria. Student workers employed by the Sustainability Department assist with emptying the bins.

Senior Patrick Murphy, Marshall’s student body president, has high hopes for the program.

“I hope the composting program will continue because I hope it’s not something just a couple of people want to do. It’s a good thing for the university,” he said.

Students and administration at Marshall have also responded positively to the program.

“They’re really for it. There are a lot of groups on campus that are happy that they started it, and I get a good COMPOSTING, page 3

‘Reapers’ bring rugby to campus

PARRISH

Ruggers Sugarsuren Byambasuren ‘14, Jeremy Howell ‘13 and community member Dylan Shenefield prepare for a scrum against Willamete University during Sept. 18’s season-opener. After losing to Willamete 69-7 last spring, the Whitman men tied the game with a score of 17-17. This Sunday, the team heads to Pullman to play the Blue Mountain Rugby Football Club.

page 7

PL ATE AU

A&E features rising Whitman bands

Bowman DABBLES IN BLOOM

Courtesy of linnea bullion

Despite homework and career worries, Whitman students and faculty manage to find time for their musical passions. A&E highlights four popular campus bands.

page 4

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News

October 14, 2010O

Bon Appétit: Students influential in dining hall variations from page 1 job, he meets with a school to decide how things will work financially, logistically and with the campus atmosphere.

Baseline Bon “BAMCO is about approaching things from a restaurant standpoint as opposed to a food service one,” said Roger Edens, Whitman’s BAMCO general manager.

This means that each branch has an executive chef in charge of culinary aspects, with a focus on local and seasonal menus.

“There is no such thing as a corporate recipe book with Bon Appétit,” Edens said.

A “from-scratch” style of cooking is essential. There are some food items that aren’t purchased pre-made, such as soups and sauces. This way, it’s “easier to know what’s in things and avoid the bad,” said Susan Todhunter, Resident Dining Manager at Prentiss.

A salad bar is required at all BAMCO dining halls, and they cater to self-serve, all you can eat and à la carte dining. Exhibition cooking, where the food is made in front of customers, as seen in Café 66’s Fire and Spice, is also encouraged.

In addition, BAMCO has several principals and initiatives which are non-negotiable. These are seen on table toppers in every dining hall: trans fat free cooking oils, antibiotic free meat, Monterey Bay Seafood Watch, Low Carbon Diet and the Eat Local Challenge to name a few.

In accordance with their Farm To Fork initiative, all BAMCO services are encouraged to buy as much local produce as they can--which is defined as being grown within 150 miles. Some of the suppliers

that Whitman’s Bon Appétit regularly deals with are the Shepard’s Grain farmers’ coop and Country Natural Beef, both based in the area. Overall, Bon Appétit strives for 20 percent of its food to be local.

“Despite being in the middle of farm country, this is a challenge,” said Edens.

“These monoculture farms in the area ship all over, and there isn’t room for local buyers. The local markets are more developed in places like Portland and Seattle.”

Schools like Lewis and Clark and Reed College in Portland, which also uses BAMCO, offer a much higher percentage of local food in and out of season. This is not only because of the amount of local connections; the harvesting season on the coast is longer as well and there is more crop diversity.

One of the things that Bon Appétit does to ensure diverse and quality food is by holding culinary workshops for regional chefs. This past summer, a vegan training took place, put on with the help of Chef Raghavan Iyer, author of “660 Curries.”

Currie explained that, “Vegan is creative and encourages better flavor profiles. We want to make vegan taste good.”

Student Influence “If we weren’t serving students’ needs, we wouldn’t be here,” said Todhunter.

“What we serve is driven by student choices, but we also try to educate people about good choices.”

That’s a lot to cover considering the variations in student needs and preferences.

“Bon Appétit does a really amazing job,” said junior Lauren McCullough, the northwest regional field organizer for the Real Food Challenge. “They have to cater

Johnson to such a wide range. From a meat-andpotatoes person to a militant vegan like me.”

However each school has a different demographic, which significantly drives their menu choices. Many schools are moving towards having more vegan and vegetarian options, based on what students want.

However, at College of Idaho in Caldwell, there are very few vegans, thus a less vegan-oriented menu.

Lewis and Clark’s main dining hall, The Bon, has a “big emphasis on vegan,” said Dina Lovenstein, a first-year at Lewis and Clark. “Most of the baked goods are gluten free or vegan, and half of the meal choices are vegan . . . It makes me feel good and study better.”

According to Currie, many students at schools with a more vegan and vegetarian focus choose to eat that way part of the

Whitman students see increase in copyright infringement notices

by DEREK THURBER Contributing Reporter

In a world where the Internet can be accessed in your palm, computers are expected to be in every dorm room and software coding is taught to more people at a younger age, the use of file sharing websites and the downloading of copyrighted material has become more common among college students at Whitman College and elsewhere.

Although it may be increasingly common to participate in illegal file sharing, copyright holders also increasingly look for the activity.

Students at Whitman have become increasingly aware of the risks and consequences of such actions this semester.

Between the fall of 2005 and the spring of 2010, a total of 51 copyright infringement notices were sent to students regarding these types of file sharing websites. Seven notices have already been sent in the fall of 2010, marking a significant increase in the overall quantity of notices received on a regular basis according to IT Security Officer Mike Osterman.

“Nobody really know why there has been an increase,” he said. “Either the

CORRECTIONS TO ISSUE 4: The illustration accompanying “Holes in your clothes? Patch ‘em up!” on page 5 should be credited to Jea Alford.

The illustration accompanying “Censorship comes from state, our egos” on page 6 should be credited to Loos-Diallo.

The illustration accompanying “Helping educate prisoners can benefit Whitman” on page 6 should be credited to Olivia Johnson.

film industry is finally paying attention to Whitman or the student population is doing it more.”

“It’s not just Whitman,” added Kevin Kelly, the director of technology infrastructure at Whitman. “Everyone has been seeing an increase in copyright notices across the board.

It’s way above normal.”

The college itself does not seek out these copyright infringements. As a part of the Acceptable Use Policy, which all students agree to when they first register their computer on the Whitman network, Whitman agrees not to monitor any content that comes across the Internet.

“We’re not looking for copyright infringement and currently not interested in finding it either, so we don’t put anything in the way in regards to the Internet,” said Kelly. “We just respond when notices from copyright holders come in.”

It is up to the copyright holder, like a movie company, to pursue infringements against their copyrighted material. Whitman College Technology Services (WCTS) is only legally responsible under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, to which the college is subjected, to notify students to cease and desist when a copyright infringement notice is sent to them.

According to Osterman, the college has 72 hours to notify the student once a copyright infringement notice has been issued to the college.

If the student or other person engaging in the illegal act does not stop it is up to the copyright holder to pursue further action; this could result a lawsuit according to Kelly.

Once a student receives his or her third notice, Dean of Students Chuck Cleveland is notified, and it is up to him to pursue further disciplinary action from the college.

“Whether or not the college wants

the Pioneer

to pursue disciplinary action against the person is really dependent on the circumstances and whether or not the college’s policies have been broken,” said Dalia Corkrum, the director of Penrose Library.

The college has an established copyright policy for academic uses (available online) which all material in print or on the Internet is subject to at Whitman. According to Corckrum, Penrose Library is available to help students, staff or faculty members sort through the copyright laws to find the acceptable use of digital and print information at the college.

“Our goal is to facilitate scholarship and academic research and to try to do everything we can to make sure students and staff have access to all resources available whether they are copyrighted or not,” said Corckrum.

But according to WCTS, legal concerns are not the only issue with participating in these types of illegal file sharing websites.

“Students are not only running a legal risk,” said Kelly. “As much as half of the content is infected, so there is also a definite risk to them as well as any legal restrictions.”

“People need to be just generally more aware of everything they are doing on the Internet,” added Osterman. “There are security and privacy concerns for the students which could be potentially very harmful.”

Though the college is not considering adopting any new policies that would limit this type of file sharing on the Whitman network at this time, many institutions have adopted or considered adopting restricting policies. According to WCTS, dealing with these notices requires staff resources and time, which could become increasingly difficult to manage if the notices continue to increase like they have shown so far this fall.

time, even if they don’t classify themselves that way.

For Edens, accommodating students’ needs often lines up with the goals of the company. As of this year, the CeliacFriendly Zone was added to Prentiss Dining Hall.

“We found that students having issues related to gluten, such as those with Celiac Disease were increasing every year,” said Edens in an e-mail. “Last year Susan Todhunter and I were discussing different ways we could reach out to the student population that were dealing with medical issues, and about the same time Bon Appétit nutritionists were also thinking of ways that individual Bon Appétit colleges could help those with gluten related conditions-hence the Celiac Friendly Zone.”

There are other ways, aside from medical and dietary needs, that students create

Whitties apply to be Resident Assistants

by MOLLY JOHANSON Staff Reporter

“RA RA Res-Life!” This year’s posters advertising resident assistant applications for 2011, which are due Friday, Oct. 15, are particularly eye-catching.

“It was one of those ‘aha!’ moments,” said Anjuli Martin ‘09, Resident Director of Prentiss Hall, who was involved in the RA advertising campaign this year.

Martin, Phil Lundquist ‘08, RD of North Hall, Kendra Vandree ‘10, RD of Anderson Hall, and Nancy Tavelli, associate dean of students, comprised the team behind the campaign.

It has been several years since Whitman’s RA posters have directly referenced pop culture. When the team found the folder of old ads, they knew they wanted to take a similar approach.

“I’m really happy with how they turned out,” Martin said. “We have a lot of Lady Gaga lovers in the office. I think people may apply to be an RA purely because they love Lady Gaga.”

In recent years, an increasing number of students nationwide are applying to be RAs, according to the New York Times. This increase is attributed to the poor economy, the rising cost of tuition and living expenses and the allure of a job that covers students’ room and board. At Whitman, the cost of room and board has risen 10 percent in the last two years.

When asked if this trend has occurred at Whitman, Tavelli responded in an e-mail, “We did have more applicants last year than the year before so I would expect that trend to continue, but our increase has not been as much as some schools.”

There was also a larger number of students at Whitman last year, which also could have caused the increase.

“The nature of the job is such that people wouldn’t want to apply just for the money, but because they want to do it,” said Vandree.

Being an RA is a very demanding job and requires much time, effort and com-

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Editor-in-Chief Molly Smith

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mitment.

“It’s not at all a problem to be a student and an RA, but when you add extracurriculars it becomes more and more difficult,” said Tavelli.

The amount of involvement that the application and interview process takes may also serve to deter applicants. It is meant to be a two-way dialogue and consists of an average of three or four separate interviews, depending on where the applicant wants to be an RA. “The application process was very introspective, and a good growing experience,” said junior Alethea Buchal, an RA in Lyman.

The process is always being reduced and streamlined and is quicker than it was a couple of years ago. Some of the interview questions have changed as well. According to Lundquist, the change this year is that applicants are being asked to come with some questions about the position.

“We are looking for a diverse group for our Res-Life staff,” said Tavelli. “We want people with good leadership skills, or who are willing to learn them. There is no one perfect RA.” Being an RA appeals to people for a variety of reasons.

“I had a great Res-Life experience,” said Buchal. “I wanted to share the love.”

Sophomore Cate Sturtevant, who is planning to apply, thinks that being an RA would be “a fun responsibility and a cool challenge.”

According to Tavelli, personal recommendations by Res-Life staff are always high up on the list of reasons why people apply.

“It’s always nice to hear someone thinks you do well at something,” said Vandree.

“We’re not just giving compliments out left and right. It’s genuine.”

“However,” said Lundquist, “just because someone didn’t get a personal recommendation to apply doesn’t mean they shouldn’t.”

Applications for the 36 RA positions are due this Friday, Oct. 15.

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change in their dining halls.

In the fall of 2008, a student-run petition to get rid of trays in Whitman’s dining halls began. It was pitched as a way to conserve water and reduce waste and cost.

After a very positive student survey, the dining halls went completely trayless. The whole process took only about two weeks.

“I wanted to see it happen,” said Edens.

“It was a cooperative decision.”

At other schools, it is not as easy. At the Bon Appétit for Carleton College in Northfield, Minn., going trayless is a harder transition. The idea has been advocated since 2008, yet not enacted because they use a conveyor belt system for washing dishes in which the trays are essential.

“Bon Appétit is very helpful, considerate and responsive to student concerns,” said senior Donald Clark, who was involved in the trayless initiative here. “But it is also a business, bottom line.”

That is to say that like other businesses, BAMCO has to protect its interests. Other proposed changes, such as Meat Free Mondays, though never outright rejected because of policy, have been turned down for financial reasons.

“Many expect them to be very confrontational but they aren’t.” Clark said. “I have respect for BAMCO management. They have to navigate a very fine line between sustainability and business.”

Ultimately, the incremental changes have made the dining experience better, according to Harvey.

“Quality of food and student satisfaction is vastly improved [from before Bon Appétit],” he said “They do a great job with variety and mixing it up.”

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The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student-run newspaper published under the auspices of the Associated Students of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whitman students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman-related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality, and journalistic integrity while promoting freedom of the press. In addition, the Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes weekly Letters to the Editor in print and online.

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0October 14, 2010

3

Compost: Administration, students seek expansions

from page 1 -reaction from the administration,” oMurphy said. . Senior Ari Frink, Whitman’s camepus sustainability coordinator, hopes ethat as a result of the positive response towards the college’s new composting .system, the program as well as support for more advanced and large-scale tcomposting projects on campus will ncontinue to grow.

- “The administration is very supdportive of the composting program,” ysaid Frink. “The President is very ingterested in industrial composting; and if the President is interested, then -there is will [behind] it.” ” Since the start of the semester, Jed -Schwendiman, associate to the Presitdent, has twice met with students to discuss President Bridges’ interest in ,composting. Like Frink, Schwendiman -actively encourages students to reesearch different options for expanding don-campus composting and to present nthese to the college. Students involved in the composting program are look-ing into industrial composting, which ewould allow the school to compost yfood on a large scale, thus facilitating nthe expansion of the current program.

Portland State University also rescently initiated a new composting ,program. Although many major cities along the West Coast such as Seattle -and San Fransisco have residential npick-up composting programs and hcontracts in place, Portland has yet to create a composting program that is open to the public.

Honoré Depew, education and outreach specialist for PSU Recycles!, hopes that the program will encourage Portland State University to reduce its amount of food waste by supporting a city-wide composting program.

“The PSU compost station is just the first step to introduce composting to the public,” said Depew. “This is the beginning of reducing our climate footprint.”

Portland has implemented a pilot program of 2,000 households to assess the city’s reaction towards composting and it is expected to be expanded city-wide sometime early next year.

Although it is difficult to gauge public reaction, Depew hopes that the city program will be supported.

Similarly, students behind the composting program at Whitman hope that the new program will encourage Walla Walla to implement a city-wide composting pick-up program. While one does not currently exist, in 2007 the city created a compost facility available to the public. Although the facility helps to divert food waste from landfills, people looking to compost their food and yard waste must bring it to the compost facility and pay a fee; compost created at the facility is then sold back to citizens who use it for various needs.

Junior Katie Radosevic, who has been working with other students on the composting program, hopes that her efforts will inspire the community to expand Walla Walla’s current composting system.

“Hopefully, it will show to Walla

Walla that we can succeed in composting,” she said.

Professor of Biology Heidi Dobson believes that the key to maintaining a strong composting program and encouraging the public to embrace composting is a combination of an efficient, user-friendly infrastructure, public awareness and effective education.

“You need active participation, you need educated people, and [you need] collective organization so that all compostable material is collected efficiently,” she said.

Over in Portland, Depew hopes that by keeping students at PSU informed and the public motivated, the program will continue to grow and encourage future generations of students to actively participate in composting.

“It’s a shift for people to realize that composting makes sense, but it’s crucial for people to look at composting and recycling as a resource,” he said.

First-year Phoebe Horvath, who is involved with organizing the composting system on campus, agrees that the amount of people in favor of an environmentally-friendly campus is growing.

“Composting is another way to be sustainable. It seems like people our age are moving more towards a sustainable society. The administration also sees it as a moral good and a money-wise saving,” she said.

An informational meeting for anyone interested in expanding the composting at Whitman will be held this Friday, Oct. 15 in Reid 240 at 1 P.M.

Axtell Green Leader Lillian Soshnik-Tanquist ’14 turns the compost bin outside of Jewett Hall. Whitman’s new compost program in residence halls is part of a trend in bringing composting to college campuses and cities.

Cutbacks: Low funds harm mentally ill Octopus: Artist wanted from page 1

order to save money, Governor Chris tGregoire has stated her desire to close -Larch Corrections Center near Van-couver, Wash., a 400-bed facility.

On the other hand, the Walla Wal-la County Department of Social and yHealth Services is facing the threat of tlosing all of its state funding, which fwould only allow it to serve the abso-lute neediest patients. The department tdispenses mental health services to the Medicaid population with federal -money, but is able to serve beyond the -federal access to care standards with Athe help of state funds, most of which will dry up in the newest round of dcuts. s According to Daryl Daugs, the di-rector of the Walla Walla County Hu-man Services, the loss of state funding rwill in the long run cost the state more emoney, because his department will only be able to serve the people in dire rneed, rather than prevent such need tfrom occurring. o “Rather than helping people early in ethe downward cycle of mental illness, we’ll only be able to help them at the -very end,” said Daugs. “That means higher hospitalization rates, which is dthe most expensive way to help people . . . Those people end up homeless, or sin our legal system, or in jail. It makes Ait harder on every department.” l Fogg echoed this sentiment when discussing an inmate education pro-gram at the penetentiary, run by s e

WWCC, that faces 12 percent cuts.

“As you cut inmate education, you increase the chance of re-offending, and we as the tax payers all get to pay again,” she said.

Daugs believes that, despite the ineffective nature of some of the cuts, there may be a silver lining for the state; some of the purely bureaucratic red tape could be taken off the budget, which he believes would be a good thing.

“There may be some good things that come out of this,” he said. “In any bureaucracy, any company, you develop a certain amount of fluff and inefficiency. We have to clear those things up. In the long run, the hope is that the fluff will not come back.”

But, as both Fogg and Daugs point out, the cuts themselves are not the most efficient actions in terms of cost-benefit analysis for they will most likely end up costing the state millions in the long term.

“We’ve made such huge cuts over the last year, and unfortunately we’re now at the point where vital services to vulnerable people-kids in foster care, domestic violence victims--all of those

areas are where we’re just cutting huge areas out,” said Daugs. “And people are going to die as a result. You’d never directly link it to a budget cut, but the average life expectancy of somebody with mental illness is much less than average, around 55, and that’s just going to get worse.”

loos-diallo

painting to be for kids from page 1

able,” said Catsiff.

When the microphone was open to public comment, there was a big rush towards the front. Among the 27 community members that commented at the meeting, all but one was pro-mural.

Many community members spoke of the sense of magic and whimsy the mural brought to the town. Others, such as Robert Radke, spoke to the voice of the children, saying that it often goes unheard in favor of the “wine-drinking 50 year-olds.”

“I have more fun in Inland Octopus than any winery,” Radke said.

Many comments pointed to a need for change, and a belief that rules were made to be broken. Almost every promural argument was followed by cheers and applause by the audience.

One community member felt that Catsiff needed to honor a sense of fair play--that his actions flouted city codes by putting up the mural without approval of the design. The community member also felt that the act was a movement against the unified vision that Walla Walla has worked hard to achieve on historic Main Street.

The artist, Aaron Randal, also spoke out about his motivations to do the mural.

“I did not ask for a single cent,” he

said. “I wanted it to be a gift to the children and to downtown.”

After an hour and a half of public opinion, city council members discussed how they felt about the situation. Many of them stated that they enjoyed the mural, but ultimately felt that laws are there for a reason.

City council member Jim Barrow broached other concerns currently happening in the community, including cutbacks and burglaries.

“It’s a shame that these issues don’t arouse more public interest and concern,” he said.

City council member Domanique Elia asserted that one should not do something, then expect the rules to change.

Because the Walla Walla City Council did not act, this issue turned over to city administrative staff to decide. If the mural is found to be a sign and in violation of the city code, Catsiff will be issued a Notice of Civil Violation. In this notification, a date will be issued of when the sign must be taken down.

Catsiff will have a chance to appeal. If the sign is found to be a violation of the city code, Catsiff can be charged a fine of 100 dollars per day should he neglect the notice and keep the sign untouched.

Donaldson told KEPR-TV that that official notice will likely be sent sometime this week.

Professors have variety of commutes to campus

s .by HADLEY JOLLEY ftStaff Reporter

-Nathanial Paust, assistant professor of as-tronomy, has quite a long commute some ydays. Though he walks to the Whitman campus when he’s in town, he lives in eSeattle on weekends, traveling back and forth between Seattle and Walla Walla once a week either by car or plane.

“My Monday morning drive to work is something like 270 miles. Or an hour on a Horizon plane,” he wrote in an e-mail.

The daily routines of professors, just like those of students and other working professionals, can have an impact on both the local community and the overall environment.

Associate Professor of English Irvin Hashimoto used to walk to Whitman.

On that commute, he was once egged by a passerby in a car while walking to Whitman from his home at the time near North Hall. That walk taught him the dangers of walking down Isaacs Avenue.

“There [are] certain people who love to drive their cars into the gutter and spray you with water,” said Hashimoto.

Over ten years ago, Hashimoto moved to College Place to have more space and now commutes by car, which leads to no egging incidents.

“For some strange reason, I thought I wanted to have a garden. It was a mistake. Weeds own my garden,” he said.

Professor of Physics Kurt Hoffman currently walks to Whitman as well and

shares some similar stories. During his morning commute, he says there is danger from drivers who are blinded by the rising sun. Night, however, is a different story.

“At night, I walk past the fraternities, and that carries with it its own excitement,” said Hoffman.

Hoffman and his wife selected their house, which is about a block and a half off campus, because of its proximity to the school.

“When we purchased a home, it was part of the equation: buy something close so we didn’t have to buy another car, because we had only a single vehicle at the time,” said Hoffman. His wife worked across town, and she needed that car to get to work.

Professor of English Roberta Davidson, however, drives to work.

“I usually drive even though I live only a few blocks away, largely because of the weight of my laptop and books I’m carrying. Sometimes I walk, though,” said Davidson. “I also often do grocery shopping, run errands after work, and that’s not really walking distance.”

However, she has not found commuting by car to be painless.

“The only challenge I face is that my car is so old and beat up that when I’m driving it around after dark I get pulled over by the police because I think they think I’m a gang member,” said Davidson.

Senior Ari Frink, the campus sustain-

Hong Roberta Davidson, professor of English, stands outside the 1987 Chevy Nova she drives to work. Although Davidson lives close to campus, she drives because she brings books and a laptop to work and often goes on errands at the end of the day.

ability coordinator, is trying to promote carpooling as one way for faculty and staff, particularly those who do not live close to campus, to get to Whitman. He’s currently working with the Sustainability Advisory Committee to get several of the closest parking spaces in the Harper Joy Theatre parking lot designated as carpool-only. The definition of carpool

would be two or more people and enforcement would be based on the honor system.

Frink believes that carpooling, besides having environmental benefits, could have social benefits for faculty and staff as well. He believes it provides time for carpoolers to get to know one another.

Frink, however, realizes that carpool-

ing is not for everyone: some professors have children or other responsibilities and need the flexibility of driving themselves. Furthermore, the layout of Walla Walla is not particularly helpful for carpooling.

“Walla Walla doesn’t have a main freeway that makes carpooling convenient,” he said.

A&E

The Pioneer Issue 5 Oct 14, 2010 Page 4

O

Campus bands diversify college music scene

by Nate lessler Staff Reporter

Despite it’s small size, Whitman College contains a large amount of campus bands--all with very distinct styles. In this issue, The Pioneer spotlights four of the many campus bands, and investigates what these bands are up to this semester.

Dabbles in Bloom: “I would call it hopeful, happy, upbeat indie pop-rock with slight jazz influences,” said band member sophomore Jonas Myers describing Dabbles in Bloom’s unique sound.

At one point consisting of only a variety of part-time members, Dabbles in Bloom solidified itself last year as a fourperson band after previous members went in separate directions.

The band now includes Adriel Borshansky ‘12 (songwriter, guitar), Rimmy Doowa ‘12 (vocalist), Robby Seager ‘13 (drums) and Jonas Myers ‘13 (piano).

Although founder Borshansky is abroad in Nepal this semester, the band has remained active. Borshansky has written multiple songs in Nepal and sent them to the band via the Internet. The band released a new music video on their website in September. In addition, the band has managed to still perform gigs and plans on playing at an upcoming Mr. Whitman event.

“It will be interesting to play without Adriel, but also good for us,” said Myers.

“We need to keep up our hype, and our group dynamic, and keep evolving, so this will be beneficial.”

According to Myers, there is tentative discussion of a new album in 2011.

The band’s debut album “Greetings”, which has been well received by multiple online indie music blogs, is available on iTunes as well as at the Whitman College Bookstore. For more information on Dabbles in Bloom visit the band’s website: www.dabblesinbloom.com Plateau: One of the longest existing Whitman bands, Plateau was originally formed back in 2007 in Enumclaw, Wash.

The band consists of Adrian Tuohy ‘11 (guitar/lead vocals), Matt Sweeney ‘12 (bass/backing vocals) and Alex Folkerth

bowman Members of Dabbles in Bloom, left to right: Jonas Myers ‘13 (pianist), Rimmy Dooway ‘12 (vocalist), Robby Seager ‘13 (drummer). Songwriter Adriel Borshansky ‘12 is currently studying abroad but is still dedicated to the band, sending songs via email.

‘12 (drums/backing bocals). Touhy, who also writes the songs, describes Plateau’s music as “alternative rockish,” citing influences such as The Replacements, The Lemonheads, Nirvana and The Beatles.

While most Whitman-based bands perform all their gigs on-campus or in Walla Walla, Plateau also tours in Washington and Oregon. Plateau has also released a few albums including the most recent extended-play recording titled “Along the Line.”

Recently, the band has been playing shows on weekends throughout the recording of their second full-length al-

bum.

“Our new album will be released some time in the next two weeks,” said Touhy.

“So far, it’s our best work yet.”

The band plans for an extended west coast tour after next semester once Folkerth returns from a semester abroad in Africa.

Hopefully we all make it back in one piece,” said Touhy.

Plateau’s music is available both online and on sale at Hot Poop in Walla Walla.

Visit http://www.reverbnation.com/plateau to find out more about Plateau and stream their music.

Chastity Belt: Formed just last semester, this all-female band is one to keep an eye on over the next couple of years.

Chastity Belt consists of Julia Shapiro ‘12 (songwriter/guitar), Lydia Lund ‘12 (guitar/bass), Gretchen Grimm ‘12 (guitar/ bass) and Annie Truscot ‘12 (drums).

The band was formed after Shapiro and Lund decided that Chastity Belt would be a fitting name for an all-female post-post-punk band.

And Shapiro doesn’t regret the decision.

“Being in Chastity Belt is honestly the best decision of my life,” she said. “It’s just

sort of a fun thing right now, but I also have a feeling we’ll go places. Every band member has something excellent to offer.”

Chastity Belt won Beta-fest’s Battle of the Bands last spring. More recently, the band has been working on new material and practicing whenever they have a chance.

“Our plan is to dominate the Whitman music scene, and with our angst and post-post-punk attitudes, I think we’re already on our way,” said Shapiro. “Hopefully we’ll get some gigs soon, but a lot of our gigs are impromptu, and involve us taking over the stage after a real band has played. Not to say that Chastity Belt isn’t a real band, we’re real alright. So real.”

Check out the band’s Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chastity-Belt/158641240823567 Orange Fight: Unlike the previous campus bands, Orange Fight is not made up of students. Rather, the six-piece band consists of a variety of Whitman faculty members. Band members include: Director of Institutional Research Neal Christopherson (guitar/vocals), Associate Professor of Sociology Michelle Janning (piano/vocals), Associate Professor of Psychology Matthew Prull (guitar), Chair of Social Sciences Keith Farrington (bass), and Norrie Gregoire (drums).

The band was formed by Christopherson, who got the name Orange Fight from his brother, who called his homebrewed beer Orange Fight. Their music is described by one website as a blend of Wilco, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd and the Velvet Underground.

Orange Fight has played at Coffee House in the past, and has an upcoming gig at Sapolil Cellars in Walla Walla on Friday, Oct. 22.

The band released their first self-titled album in spring of 2009. The artwork for the album was designed by Grammy award-winning graphic designer/photographer Sally Carns (who happens to be a college friend of Christopherson’s).

The album can be found on iTunes.

For more information on Orange Fight go to www.myspace.com/orangefight

Stepping out of Macy’s: Spotlight on Walla Walla boutiques The Pioneer ventures off-campus for an inside look into Walla Walla’s smaller clothing lines and unique, locally-owned boutiques.

by NANyonjo mukunGu Staff Reporter

The menagerie of boutiques and clothing stores within the Walla Walla area offers a diverse set of fashionable options that appeal to the variety of Whitman student styles and budgets.

Boutiques such as Forward, Studio Opal and Hidden Treasures, a consignment store, provide unique and high quality garments not found at department stores.

Forward

This boutique, lo cated at 126 E. Main Street is owned by Walla Walla local Dana Budden. Budden bought the store in December 2009 from another local who originally sold her clothing at the farmer’s market. Budden makes the jewelry and belts found in-store, while the clothing is chosen and bought by Budden at markets in Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

Lori Larson, an employee of Forward, has said that Budden wants for there to be a lot of denim options for both men and women. There are many different denim lines at a wide price range that is affordable for most Whitman students. Besides denim, the store sells a lot of unique blouses and graphic t-shirts.

While the demographic for Forward consists of a lot of out-of-towners and local regulars, according to Larson, students will also enjoy the range in clothing and accessories.

Studio Opal

Studio Opal, located on the corner of Main Street and Spokane Street, is owned by Amy Glase and Kathy Nelson. The boutique features women’s clothing designers from all around the world, and the selection of clothing displayed in the store is a combination of the owners’ personal styles.

Glase’s style has a Scandinavian yet whimsical aesthetic. The clothing colors and style are reflected and complimented by the paintings on display, which she makes in her in-store

studio.

Glase favors designers such as Odd Molly, Wildfox Couture and shoe designer Swedish Hasbeens. The Odd Molly line primarily consists of kitschy prints alongside minimallycolored tops and dresses. In comparison, Wildfox Couture consists of graphic T-shirts that have an vintageinspired, L.A. style.

Nelson creates one-of-a-kind jewelry pieces inspired by the natural elements of stone and rock. The styles available at Studio Opal are very comfortable and feature soft, cotton-based items such as hoodies and pants, as well as menswear-inspired pieces such as suit jackets and flannels. Although she favors lesser-known designers such as CP Shades and Kara-Line, she is a fan of the ever-popular TOMS Shoes in the style of sneakers and flats.

In addition to clothing, Studio Opal sells other novelties such as candles, books, belts, tops, purses and other housewares.

Hidden Treasures

Hidden Treasures is a consignment store owned by Stacy Moeller. In the consignment process, a person sells his or her clothes for either 40 percent cash back or 45 percent store credit.

Therefore, the prices are slightly higher than Goodwill but much better in quality.

The store features some current fashion trends, but most of the clothing styles are from the 90s to early 2000s. There is a wide range of outerwear available such as cardigans, wool jackets and fur coats. In addition, Studio Opal offers many different brands of jeans, tops and other outerwear in all sizes. Formal wear, prom dresses and workout clothes are also frequently sold here.

Accessories such as belts, purses, jewelry and scarves, which offer a quirky twist to an outfit, can be found here as well. Hidden Treasures sells high quality clothes for any type of style at discount prices. The store is located on 104 E. Main Street.

KLAG Left: Studio Opal’s “Just for Him” table. Right: Manager of Studio Opal Sarari Hudson gives a detailed account of the bi-hand embroidery on this dress. Studio Opal is one of many boutiques located on Main Street, a stone’s throw from campus.

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A&E

October 14, 2010

5

Ballroom dance students get into the swing of things

by Mccaulay Singer-milnes Staff Reporter

Every Sunday, Whitman College students of all ages and experience levels come together to learn how to dance in the traditional styles of Eastcoast Swing, Waltz, Foxtrot and Argentine Tango.

These ballroom dancing classes are designed to be fun and informal ways to learn the basics of formal dance, with Whitman students serving as both the teachers and students of the moves.

“The classes and lessons try and provide students with a general knowledge for different styles of dancing as well as socially how to go out and be able to dance in any setting with any group of people,” said class instructor and dancer of five years Justin Daigneault, who is an ‘09 alumni and also the Resident Direc-

tor of Jewett Hall.

In order to incorporate all skill levels, the teachers focus on creating an accepting environment where students learn fundamentals first, with the more complicated and style-dependent steps following. The teachers also strive to communicate with their students regarding the execution of moves to ensure that no one is left behind.

“We keep the atmosphere open and friendly and we talk about common courtesy while dancing: how to lead and how to follow basics, what someone should expect in these dances, and then we delve into a few styles of dance that we really enjoy,” said Daigneault.

Weekly classes consist of learning new moves as well as a discussion of the philosophy and history of particular styles of dance.

GAME REVIEW

‘Machinarium’ offers alternative gaming world

by Sean mcnulty Staff Reporter

“Machinarium” is not a game about shooting people in the face. There aren’t any giant cars to drive, space marines in huge suits of armor or awful B-movie dialogue.

Instead of doses of adrenaline and twitchy reflexive action, “Machinarium” delivers patience, zen and a haunting mechanical world to explore.

The player’s character is a small, nameless robot with a head like an upside down mixer bowl and a modifiable, telescopic body. In this point-and-click style adventure game, the player moves the character from one scene to the next, delivering objects from one scene to the next or solving small logic puzzles to activate other objects. Puzzles vary in difficulty, and occasionally the clues are frustratingly esoteric or camouflaged. Patience is a must for players.

A small budget game, “Machinarium” was developed over a period of three years by Amanita Design with a budget of 1,000 dollars. The creative team consisted of seven Czech members, an appropriate coincidence since Josef and Karel Capek, the inventors of the word robot, are also Czech.

Such a small, personal production lends the game a beautiful degree of detail. Hand drawn and incredibly detailed, it brings to mind the clockwork metropolis of Dreamworks’ “Robots” with the broken-down, rusty aesthetic of “WallE.” There are 1950s vacuum-tube “Flash Gordon”-style computers with bulging glass screens, steam punk pistons and pipes, dot-matrix displays and plenty of

tangled wires and cables. The music is a minimal mix of piano, music boxes and looping electronic samples.

There’s no dialogue, and most of the plot is pantomimed or suggested. The characters—a varied menagerie of robots of various shapes, sizes and tasks--communicate in thought bubbles with tiny, inked animations. Using these techniques, the game gives off a charming level of abstraction like a children’s book--relying on strong visuals and a strange, mechanical focus around which the characters are built.

With no branching plot or complicated storytelling schemes, “Machinarium” trades narrative flexibility for a more focused, thematic experience. The story isn’t interactive in the sense that you can change the plot arc, but you can interact with the story through the hidden details. Carefully constructed levels, scenes of romance and unsettling depictions of horror emerge in a slow, circular manner.

“Machinarium” reveals itself like a picture book come to life--neither straightforward, nor predictable. There’s never any hand-holding or coddling of the player to help them progress.

“Machinarium” can be played in anywhere from six to ten hours. It’s available for $10 on the Internet and on Valve’s Steam digital distribution service. This short, slow-paced adventure contains only a few of the trappings of modern highperformance blockbuster gaming; so for those of you tired of “Call of Duty” and “Super Smash Brothers”, “Machinarium” is an engaging, understated opportunity to explore a new place.

“We listen to music and then partner up and try out the information we just covered,” said Daigneault. “We talk about how the moves went and what the issues were if any and where we can go from there.”

The classes are also a great way for former dancers to continue their passion without making an extensive time commitment.

“I really like dancing of all sorts, and since coming to Whitman I’ve been trying to learn new kinds of dance. I thought that Ballroom Club would be a fun way to try something I’d never encountered and to get involved on campus,” said sophomore Annette Patton, who has been a dancer for 12 years, but did not start ballroom dancing until coming to Whitman.

Members of the class try to reach out

to other Whitman students by helping to organize and host events on campus that incorporate dance.

“Last year we joined WEB in hosting the Winter Ball, and that is the plan for this year as well,” said senior Taneeka Hansen, one of the dance teachers.

Students who attend and teach classes are adamant that all skill levels are welcome to participate.

“If you haven’t come before it’s not a problem, we will work with you to catch up,” said Hansen.

The classes are purely for the sake of fun, with no fees required to join.

“The class is free since it is a student club/organization so there is no reason not to try it out,” said Daigneault.

Ballroom dance classes are every Sunday from 3-5 p.m. in the basement of Sherwood Athletic Center, Room 114.

PIO PICKS Each Thursday, The Pioneer highlights several events happening on campus or in Walla Walla during the weekend. Here are this week’s picks: The Visiting Writers Reading Series Presents Nick Flynn: Award-winning non-fiction author and poet Nick Flynn comes to campus on Thursday, Oct. 14. Flynn will read excerpts of his new memoir “The Ticking Is the Bomb” as well as some of his poems for students, faculty and community members interested in his work and in the creative process. A brief discussion, questionand-answer session and book signing will follow. The event will be held in Kimball Theatre at 7:30 pm.

Fridays at Four Presents The Alex Abrams Trio: Whitman ’09 alumnus Alex Abrams returns to campus with his trio on Friday, Oct. 15. Abrams, a cellist, will be joined by Rachel Nesvig on violin and Erik Flaten on piano.

The event will take place in Kimball Theatre at 4 p.m. The event is free and open to the community.

Queer Prom – Debutante Ball: Hosted by Coalition Against Homophobia, Queer Prom is an allcampus dance that celebrates Coming Out Day, which provides a safe and positive environment for queer and allied students. The dance is free and everyone is welcome. The event will take place in the backyard of the Glover Alston Center on Friday, Oct. 15 from 8-11 p.m. Come dressed in your finest debutante garb and enjoy a night under the stars.

Live @ Stephenson Cellars – Sadie Wagoner: Singer/songwriter and acoustic artist Sadie Wagoner will perform with special guest Mike Wagoner and the Trapper Creek band as well as Nashville-based musician Donna Mitchell on Oct. 15 and 16. The event will occur at the Cellar, located on 15 S. Spokane Street, at 7:30 p.m. No cover charge.

Sheehan Gallery Opening: Joseph Page “ReMapping: The Expanding Landscape of Ceramics”: Colorful and abstract, the second installment of this year’s Sheehan Gallery “ReMapping” opens Friday, Oct. 15. A lecture with curator and creator Joe Page will be held at 5:30 p.m. in Olin 130. A celebration with food and drink will follow. For more information on Page’s work, visit http://www.artaxis.org/ceramics/ page_joe/joseph_page.htm St. Olaf Orchestra Performance: The internationally known 92-member orchestra will perform at Whitman as part of its national fall tour. The orchestra’s performance will include sections from Mozart’s “The Magic Flute” and Samuel Barber’s Second Essay, among other pieces.

The performance will take place in Cordiner Hall on Oct. 19 at 7:30 p.m.

Adult entrance fee is $10. Student admission is free of charge.

MOVIE REVIEW

Andrew Currie’s ZomCom ‘Fido’ both brainy and biting

by C.J. Wisler A&E Editor

Pun intended, director Andrew Currie’s film “Fido” is a “fresh take” on the zombie genre. Though obviously taking a cue from the hit zombie-parody film “Shawn of the Dead”, “Fido”, rather than spoofing the genre, uses zombie mythology, providing instead a homage to as well as a satire of the idyllic 1950’s American lifestyle.

Set in an alternative 1950s universe, a radioactive space cloud has relatively frequently reanimated the dead, turning them in to flesh-loving and stumbling zombies. Humankind has fought and won the Zombie War, and a government corporation known as ZomCon has installed electronic collars on captured zombies, depriving them of their aggressive habits. These “pet” zombies, now used by the rich and corporate world as servants, perform menial tasks

such as delivering newspapers and milk, delivering groceries and holding up umbrellas.

“Fido” tells the story of a typical suburban boy, Timmy Robinson, who befriends the family’s new servant—a zombie he aptly names Fido after his dog-like habits and loyalty. With a distant, zombie-phobic and funeral-obsessed father, a pregnant and rather modern mother, a variety of neighbors and a neighborhood overloaded with suburban stereotypes, hilarity and social conflict ensues. Even Timmy’s “keeping up with the Joneses” mother, played by the delightful CarrieAnne Moss, pressures Timmy’s father into keeping the rotting pet.

“Fido” also mocks the supposed nuclear family and safe education system of the Golden Era. Timmy’s high-strung father, who avoids typical bonding activities such as tossing a baseball or having a conversation with Timmy, gives his son a gun and the advice that “getting too close,

these ‘emotions’, are not what ‘it’s’ about.

It’s about survival.” At school, children learn how to shoot rifles during recess to protect themselves against zombies, but within the classroom discussions about the nature of life and death (and where a zombie lies in the spectrum) is scoffed at and shuffled uncomfortably out of the way by Timmy’s perky teacher.

While the blood-soaked slapstick comedy is a definite plus, the movie also includes subtle nuances that are much more thoughtful than it initially appears.

With bright pastel homes and Technicolor flowers, the graying flesh and disintegrating lumbering of the various zombie pets stands out even more as ZomCon attempts to integrate and train them to be working “members” of society.

This zany world also introduces a bizarre hilarity in various unexpected situations. The loyal Fido, after his collar is removed, mauls the old lady who torments Timmy, the bullies who set Timmy up

Comic Strip

and, later, Timmy’s father’s murderer like a horrific pit bull. Timmy and his mother, both enamored with their pet (and Fido with them) attempt to correct these situations through a variety of means: Timmy apologetically kills the old lady with a shovel once she comes back from the dead; Timmy’s mother burns down a shed with the bodies of the reanimated bullies in them, holding Timmy by her side as they watch the flames a la a Hallmark Christmas photograph.

“Fido” is unique within zombie culture, offering both a delightful satire of the “Leave It to Beaver” generation and a delicate homage to George A. Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead”—the town in“Fido” is called Willard, a definite nod at the legendary film’s location. This Canadian independent film offers a decent amount of gore and unexpectedly playful violence, lots of laughs and the most endearing zombie friend-fiend you will ever meet in film.

THRIFTY WHITTIES

Prep for Family Weekend Spaghetti Aglio e Olio by olivia jones Columnist

It’s close to that time of year again as Family Weekend looms. The crisp fall air is imbued with an aura of possibility: the possibility to finally get a meal on-campus, the possibility of your parents discovering those things you don’t tell them about on the phone, the possibility of an eruption of family drama and also the possibility of your parents discovering that you really have grown and matured.

If you’re aiming for the latter, or if perhaps you already have a perfect relationship with your parents, then maybe you’d like to do some grown-up, yuppie activities with them such as a trip to the farmer’s market and, afterward, surprising them with a nice dinner.

Well, you are in luck, because I am going to tell you how to do just that by making a delightful, healthy meal! You will need summer squash and tomatoes for the Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, which can be picked up at the grocery store if you do not find time to visit the farmer’s market.

Ingredients: 1 lb. of pasta (your choice) several summer squashes (1 or 2 large ones, 3 or 4 small) 4 or so fresh tomatoes (optional) 2 cups nice olive oil olive oil for drizzling (1.5 cups approximately) 1.5-3 tablespoons minced garlic (to the taster’s preference) red pepper flakes salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to a high temperature (around 400 degrees) and put a large pot of salted water on to boil.

Clean and slice your summer squashes about one centimeter thick. Lay the slices of squash on a broiling pan if you have one, a baking pan works as well, drizzle olive oil over them and sprinkle salt. Once the oven is ready, place the tray on a rack positioned near the top of the oven.

While they broil, heat the olive oil and red pepper flakes in a small saucepan. Once the olive oil has heated up, add the minced garlic to it and sauté until the garlic is golden and aromatic.

The typical Aglio e Olio sauce only uses one to two tablespoons of minced garlic, but because I have added squash and tomatoes, I recommend increasing the garlic for the recipe.

Once the large pot of water has come to a boil, add the pasta and cook according to the directions on the back of the box. Chop the tomatoes thickly and place them in a large serving bowl.

Make sure to check on the broiling vegetable and shuffle them on the pan with a fork or spatula. Once they look soft and a fork pierces them, remove them from the oven and add them to the serving bowl with the tomatoes.

After the pasta has cooked, place it in the serving bowl as well. Pour the Aglio e Olio sauce over the top and mix until everything is evenly coated. If the pasta is too dry, add a little more olive oil. When my cousin and I made this together, she marinated pork chops with chopped rosemary, minced garlic and Dijon mustard, which we pan fried those to accompany the pasta; so if you have some more time before your parents show up, try that, or make a side salad.

Enjoy prepping and preparing this dish to impress your parents. They will be proud, stuffed and satisfied!

Opinion

The Pioneer Issue 5 Oct 14, 2010 Page 6

Japan, China debate history Cattle ranching policies need reformation The dispute over Diaoyu Islands escalated after Captain Zhan Qixiong was released, stirring up fury and nationalist emotions among ChiDING nese and Japanese LI citizens.

Columnist An online survey conducted by Southern Daily suggested that 9,495 out of 9,816 citizens believe war is the best way to settle the dispute for good. Meanwhile, a Japanese survey reports almost 70 percent of Japanese deem war as the best solution.

But I am more curious than furious. I wonder why Japan claims Diaoyu Islands as its territory since the islands have been on the Chinese map since the Ming Dynasty for almost over 500 hundred years.

My Japanese friend, Mie Yamazaki, is as confused as I am. “Why does China say that the Senkaku Islands belong to China?”

She added that Japan has administered the islands for over 100 years. It seems unsuitable for China to suddenly claim its sovereignty over these islands.

Instead of arguing over who was in the right, we started to look up historical documents in an American-based website, The Mandala Projects.

According to the website, Diaoyu islands were ceded to Japan as part of Taiwan under the Shimonoseki Treaty after Japan defeated China in 1874 during the First Sino-Japanese War. But after World War II in 1945, all territories Japan got from China, including Taiwan, were supposed to be restored to China according to the Cairo and Potsdam Declarations. But Japan preserved their administration over the islands due to the treaty signed with America in 1970s, in which America guaranteed that Japan would maintain rights over the islands.

Japanese history textbooks neglect that Japan should have returned Diaoyu Islands but continued to rule the islands under the support of America. It’s almost impossible for one person to forgive the other if the other refuses to admit the wrongdoings and apologize.

China didn’t ask for war compensation half a century ago, which, as interpreted by

most Chinese now, has induced the Prime Minister of Japan’s constant visits to Yasukuni Shrine and the denial of history. “We should learn from mistakes, and never let things end that easily.” Sayings of such kind penetrate every corner of Chinese cyberspace.

“Japan has provided the most financial aid to help with a new China, though it hasn’t officially said sorry,” Mie remarked.

Mie’s remark is similar to the consensus in Japanese forums that Japan has given China a large sum of money every year, which China doesn’t appreciate. Japan had provided financial help for 30 consecutive years by the means of favorable loans, credit agreements and special interest grants, which is termed “Official Development Aids” (ODA) until this ended in 2008.

The provision of ODA doesn’t mean that Japan has apologized. But why are some facts are missing, or less emphasized, in our education? And how can the missing parts lead people to anger, even to the point of death, when interests between the two countries collide?

I will feel much better if the Chinese education system teaches that Japan is doing something to make up for its previous wrongdoings by acts such as providing financial assistance to China. The Chinese will stay more cool-headed rather than enraged whenever disputes occur between Japan and China; just as when Chinese people were moved when the Japanese International Search and Rescue Team stood in silent tribute for the dead in the Wenchuan earthquake, they should know that the old Japanese soldiers are expressing their regret unofficially. The Japanese, if the politicians give their citizens access to the real history, will understand their history better and stop issuing every solution with force.

“The media never says anything good toward Chinese,” said my friend Mie. Chinese students in her school are often isolated from Japanese students.

The dispute over the islands, regardless of resources, is about expansion of power and about the pursuits of politicians. People of the countries receive what politicians and the media offer, carrying nationalistic beliefs until death. We maintain opinions based on the history others provide. We are manipulated to believe that beliefs of politicians are decisions by the people.

Money matters in politics The media teaches us that democratic politics is ultimately a contest over conflicting interests. Like minded people get together, form associations like trade unions/ GARY lobbying groups WANG (thank you First Opinion Editor Amendment), solicit donations, generate media hype/controversy, and then ultimately pressure elected representatives to vote a certain way. Our hapless representatives are then besieged with money from “political action committees”, corporations, and individual donors all demanding they act on the issue (farm subsidies anyone?).

The lifeblood of this kind of democracy is cash. Cash is king where there can constitutionally be no king. The current lamentable state of our politics then results from the belief that cash is somehow equivalent to speech.

The Supreme Court, most recently in its notorious Citizens United decision, has affirmed again and again that monetary donations to candidates and political action committees are all forms of speech and therefore protected under the first amendment. Essentially, people vote with their wallets. Or rather, I should be able to pay someone else to speak on my behalf because I, as just an ordinary American, don’t have the time to participate as myself, emphasis on myself. Better yet, corporations, who are nebulous conglomerations of people with varying interests – from the CEO down to the secretary – can somehow, act as one “person”, and donate anonymously to political action committees and then seek to influence elections.

The first problem this engenders is that corporations and individuals don’t have the same sense of personhood. One person has individual interests, values, desires that are subject to change. A corporation has shareholders, a board of directors, a CEO, and everything else running down a company’s organization chart. Do these people always have the same interests? No. That’s why corporate fraud occurs. That’s

why CEOs embezzle and sell their stock options for private profit. The variety of conflicting interests in a corporation more resembles schizophrenia than a more relatively coherent and singular set of beliefs in an individual.

Thus, corporate speech has in principle no way of totally reflecting the totality of wants and desires and preferences an individual monetary donation to a specific cause does. In fact, corporations often delegate their political functions to their “government affairs” or “public relations” department leaving the average employee blissfully unaware of the machinations their company may be involved in.

But the more important and more crucial problem to the idea that money, from anyone or any organization is the equivalent to speech is that free speech presumes the possibility of reasoned and rational persuasion. In Athenian democracy for example, every citizen (a small minority that excluded foreigners, women and slaves) had a right to speak and persuade every other citizen in a common forum. Political speech was not a matter of drowning people out like the flood of corporate cash but is a matter of making persuasive arguments that could change the very minds of other citizens.

Now, ask yourself, how can corporations have their minds changed? What mind is there to change? Better yet, if money is the vehicle by which we “participate” as free citizens then what does that do to our conception of speech and the possibility for honest persuasion?

When money becomes speech, the temptation for each of us and each corporation is to form interest groups, pool our money together, so that we can scream louder to drown out the other party on TV and radio airwaves. If money is speech, then speech is just expression.

To borrow from Hannah Arendt, expression is only about making your wants known. Actual communication presupposes the possibility of actual genuine agreement in a democracy. Now, can money persuade people to genuinely agree? Or does money just compel us to dig in our heels and try harder to win, try harder to be right rather than admit the possibility that we might be wrong, and therefore be open to persuasion.

Drive for over an hour in the American West and you’re likely to see cows.

Cattle graze almost all the public lands in the RACHEL West—National ALEXANDER Forests, Bureau of Columnist Land Management (BLM) land and even some wilderness areas. Ranchers run cows on leased allotments for portions of the spring, summer and fall, and pay the government $1.35 to graze a cow/calf pair for a month (also known as an animal unit month or AUM). This fee is effectively a subsidy— the cost of maintaining fences and paying BLM salaries is about ten times what the permits cover. If permit prices were to rise to accurately reflect the costs of maintaining allotments, ranchers would be driven out of business.

Economically, ranching in the West is unviable. Ecologically, it is a nightmare when done poorly. Cows spend most of their time in riparian areas, trampling stream banks in the process. Native grasses and plants have new growth eaten year after year and are unable to compete with invasive Eurasian species. With the grasses mostly eaten away, the land becomes a mosaic of sagebrush and cowpies. Grass is so sparse that it can take up to 150 acres to support a single cow, whereas in the East, where it rains more frequently, you can raise up to six cows on a single acre.

Many defenders claim that ranching in the West would be nearly impossible without the use of public lands. Take away grazing rights, and you kill the cowboy that has defined the West—a hardworking, self-made man in touch with his land and his animals. This image has been powerful

enough to define our political discourse, but it is largely an illusion. Small, family ranches still exist in the West, but only 40 percent of ranches are run by people who depend on them as a source of income.

The rest are corporate ventures (JR Simplot, an agribusiness corporation, is the single largest permitee on federal lands) or hobby ranches run by absentee owners.

I don’t want to see the Western family ranch go away. Maybe it’s because I’ve been raised with American cultural myths, or maybe it’s because every ranch family I’ve talked to this semester has been quick to offer cookies and good conversation. There are a lot of intelligent, thoughtful and hardworking people running cows on public lands, and some are trying to do the right thing ecologically.

The Hubbard Vineyard Ranch near Jackpot, Nev. has made an effort to rotate pastures, allowing land to regenerate after it is grazed. Their streams look healthier for it, with willows growing on the banks and active beaver dams in place. Take away the ranch, and the land might remain wild, but it could end up subdivided and sold to developers—not exactly a recipe for wildlife habitat.

If grazing is to remain on public lands, grazing policy needs to change significantly. Forest Service policy requires permitees to graze at least 90 percent of the cattle permitted on their allot-

ments, even when such numbers are demonstrably unsustainable. The BLM allows the number of AUMs on an allotment to be reduced if they are not being used, a policy which penalizes responsible permitees who attempt to graze less in drought years or in sensitive areas in need of restoration. Because of policies like these, it is difficult or impossible for conservation groups to protest grazing. Even if a rancher wants to sell out and a group like Nature Conservancy is willing to buy its permits, the conservancy is usually left with no choice but to run cows on the land. Closing an allotment permanently is equally difficult, even with clear evidence that grazing is causing irreparable ecological damage.

No matter how grazing policy is restructured, the West needs fewer cows.

Individual states would do well to restructure policies which allow dramatic reductions in land taxes for grazed land but not for conservation or restoration. The BLM and Forest Service should be more willing to close allotments, particularly when they are leased by permitees who have displayed no interest in maintaining wildlife habitat. Individual ranchers should consider putting conservation easements on their land, which would allow them to remain unde- veloped forever.

And everyone else concerned about public lands in the West should take a closer look at where their m e at comes from.

loos-DIALLO

Minecraft is revolutionizing gaming world A new experience has taken the gaming world by storm. It involves skeletons riding giant spiders, exploding zombies and acquiring wood by punching BLAIR trees. “Minecraft” FRANK is the brainchild Columnist of Markus Persson, better known to the Internet by his nickname “Notch.” He has recently received several accolades by members of the gaming press, including Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins of the webcomic “Penny Arcade.”

With graphics bordering on the 32-bit, “Minecraft” doesn’t seem at first blush like a candidate for the best game of the year.

Most of the popular, big-name titles these days feature state-of-the-art, high-definition graphics designed to render characters in as lifelike a manner as possible, as well as provide complex narratives. “Halo: Reach” just came out. Shouldn’t the gaming public be spending more time playing Slayer on XBox Live rather than running around in some backwater indie game?

To be fair, I have yet to play “Reach.”

But “Minecraft” seems poised to keep me from Bungie’s latest offering for a long time. This game would be ridiculously awesome if it was compared against all of

the finished products available. According to its developer, “Minecraft” is only in alpha testing. In alpha testing, all of the basic game elements tend to be in place, but alphas can be more buggy and prone to crashes. In addition, it’s likely that there will be serious changes made to a game between the alpha and beta phase.

The concept of “Minecraft” is simple: your avatar has been placed in a world of infinite size with nothing on your person aside from a set of clothes and your bare hands. Nightfall is coming, and with it comes mobs, like skeleton archers, zombies and spiders. On your marks, get set, GO. There’s only one thing to do: start exploring and start crafting.

In those two areas of game play, “Minecraft” excels. The infinitely large world (it’s constantly generated as you explore) means that there’s always something new on the horizon, whether it’s above ground or underground. As you can probably imagine, a great deal of your time in “Minecraft” is spent underground. Whether it’s more or less than you originally thought really depends on your style of play.

The way the world is usually set up mandates a certain level of underground activity. More useful ores and minerals are hidden deep inside the world’s underbelly and are usually only accessible through mining. However, it’s possible to maintain a lively and fun existence on the surface of the world as well, using only materials gathered there.

I always wonder about the random nature of the maps whenever I’m mining.

For the most part, it’s fairly monotonous, but there are times when I stumble upon a massive underground lava fall and cannot help but stare in wonder. It seems that probability has a flair for the dramatic.

The crafting mechanic is simple, but effective. Using raw materials, you lay out a design that resembles the item you’re trying to build. For example, an iron shovel is made by placing a single ingot of iron in the crafting square above two sticks.

The only thing keeping “Minecraft” from earning five ducks is its lack of a tutorial mode (judging from the current user interface, it’s likely that there will be such a mode included in the final release of the game). There is definitely a steep learning curve, but it’s fairly simple to wrap your head around the subject matter, and mastering how the game works is by no means difficult. There are plenty of good resources on the Internet as well. My go-to source is the game’s Wikipedia page, hosted at “minecraftwiki.net.”

If you’re interested in trying “Minecraft” for yourself, visit minecraft.net. The website contains both a free web-based version, as well as a means for you to purchase the game for 9.95 Euros.

Pros: Fun game play, re-playable, elegant Cons: No tutorial mode, stiff learning curve Rating: 4.5 Ducks

Poli t ic al C artoon

DOUGLAS

Sports

The Pioneer Issue 5 Oct 14, 2010 Page 7

‘Reapers’ provide rugby opportunity

by Libby Arnosti Staff Reporter

Parrish Matt Booth ‘14, left, goes up for the ball in the season opener on Sat. Sept. 18 against Willamette University ending in a 17-17 tie.

The Whitman College rugby program draws athletes from all backgrounds to the practice pitch with the singular goal of playing a much loved, but under-appreciated sport.

“There’s no particular fame or glory in playing rugby [in the United States],” said Eric McAlvey, head coach of the Whitman Reapers. “Just the love of the game.”

Whitman rugby players, or “ruggers”, not only include Whitman students, but also willing Walla Walla residents and high school students. McAlvey used to be one such local player; he returned ten years ago to coach the team after a career-ending leg injury.

While an integral part of sports culture in many parts of the international community, rugby remains a sport that still mystifies many in the States.

“Most people who come out [for the team] have never played it,” said senior captain Cameron Callaghan, who contends that many spectators and fans at Whitman rugby games are also unfamiliar with the game. “[People] just come out to observe this strange sport that they don’t understand,” he added.

The Reapers use this curiosity to their advantage, encouraging anyone interested to learn more about their sport.

“Just come out and play!” encouraged a smiling Callaghan.

The team spends the first few weeks of the season each year working on ground rules and technique, in part to help inte-

grate the new players.

“We welcome anyone to come out and give it a shot,” said McAlvey.

While rugby’s violent reputation may be well-earned--“It’s the most violent sport I’ve ever played,” affirmed senior rugger and lacrosse player Ryon Campbell--it is safer than it may seem.

“When it’s played right, rugby is actually safer than football,” said Campbell.

McAlvey also explained that because of the limited protective padding in rugby, players are forced to have proper tackling technique; consequently, safety is very much emphasized on the team.

In a game where play is only stopped in the event of a foul, a score or an outof-bounds ball, purposeful play is essential.

“Every position has its role,” said sophomore starter Allan Okello, after struggling to identify one position as the most important. “Rugby’s definitely a whole team sport.”

“It’s the ultimate team game. Everyone can run, tackle and kick,” said McAlvey.

How each player assumes multiple roles ultimately creates a dynamic, highintensity game for spectators and players alike. A particular bow-tied spectator can sometimes be found in the crowd, too.

“We feel really supported by [George Bridges],” said Callaghan of the former rugger and current president of Whitman College. McAlvey also emphasized his enthusiasm at having an administration which he believes appreciates the importance of athletics.

With McAlvey’s expertise and the players’ commitment to improvement,

Scoreboard Volleyball Lewis & Clark 10/8 W, 3-1 Willamette10/9 W, 3-2 Women’s soccer Lewis & Clark 10/10 W, 2-0 Whitworth 10/13 L, 3-0 Men’s soccer Whitworth 10/10 W, 1-0

Upcoming Events Volleyball 10/15 Puget Sound (Home,7 p.m.)

10/16 Pacific Lutheran (Home, 5 p.m.)

10/20 Whitworth (Away) Cross country 10/16 Pioneer Open (Lewis & Clark) Women’s soccer 10/16 Puget Sound (Away) 10/17 Pacific Lutheran (Away) Men’s soccer 10/16 Puget Sound (Away) 10/17 Pacific Lutheran (Away) Men’s golf 10/16-10/17 Whitman Invitational (Home)

the Reapers program has been growing in both numbers and strength.

“I think every single game we have coming up is winnable,” said McAlvy.

The men encourage all those interested to come watch the Reapers play North Idaho UFC Saturday, Oct. 23 during Parent’s Weekend.

Whitman athletics implements high-quality video streaming

by Tyler Hurlburt Staff Reporter

On Wednesday, Sept. 22, Whitman introduced a new video service allowing people to stream home volleyball matches live online. As the basketball and baseball seasons start, home games for each time will also be available to watch through the Whitman website.

Stretch Internet, the company with which Whitman partnered, works with various athletic organizations to provide them with streaming videos. Several other schools from the Northwest Conference already use Stretch Internet; George Fox University, Linfield College, Pacific University and Pacific Lutheran University all stream their videos via Stretch.

These games, however, are not free to watch. Viewers pay $9.95 to watch one game or $39.95 to have access to all the games of a single sport. A season pass for all the streaming videos costs $59.95.

Using a third party company such as Stretch Internet to stream video is not a the only option for sports coverage.

Whitworth University streams all their

videos with their own technology.

Whitworth has used live streaming video of their home games for four years now, according to Whitworth’s director of sports information Steve Flegel. For Whitworth, the picture is not as big, but it is completely free.

They also have streaming video for more sports including: football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, softball and swimming. For the football and basketball broadcasts, they add radio play-byplay as audio.

According to Flegel the streams get decent viewership.

“We get 20-30 viewers per event for most of the sports,” Flegel said. “Football averages 80-100.”

For the past two years, Whitman streamed video of these games without using a third party much like Whitworth. The athletic department made the decision this fall to switch systems and brought in Stretch for assistance.

According to athletics director Dean Snider, there were two main reasons for this switch: video quality and support.

“The quality of the video needed to improve,” Snider said. “Stretch provides the technical support that we are not

sloane staffed to provide.”

This increase in quality and support gives a much more professional feel to the video streams than before.

Most students on campus see the price as too much to pay for access, particularly since they are free of charge to

see in person.

“I don’t think that I would pay that much,” said sophomore Sara Behrens.

“Especially since I am right here on campus.”

However, according to Snider, students on campus are not necessarily

the target audience. Parents and alumni who do not have the opportunity to see the competition live make up a large part of the target audience.

“They have the chance to see their kids play even when they are not on campus,” Snider said.

Intramural sports offer competition, community

Fennell Erik Korsmo ‘11 runs the ball for Sigma Chi in their Greek-versus-Greek intramural football game against Phi Delta Theta.

by Pamela London Staff Reporter

As a member of NCAA Division III and the Northwest Conference, Whitman College is the home of 14 varsity teams, including basketball, cross country and baseball. Whitman varsity athletes make up about 25 percent of the student body and represent Whitman across the Pacif-

ic Northwest. There is another community of athletes, however, that involves an even greater number of Whitties: Intramural (IM) sports.

Whitman has nine IM sports, ranging from the traditional football and soccer to the somewhat more unusual bowling and ultimate Frisbee. IM sports are divided into two seasons: four sports in the fall and five in the spring. In gen-

eral, students will divide up into teams for each season and those teams will bond together to participate in multiple sports.

Whether you’re a first-year or a senior, getting involved in IM sports isn’t a daunting task in the least. Fraternities are almost always represented by teams in both IM sports seasons, and are usually a mainstay in whatever sport

is currently going on according to IM coordinator senior Jeffrey Gayle. Firstyears can be integrated into older teams, especially with men’s football. On the women’s side, the teams tend to be made up of section mates who stick together throughout their time at Whitman.

IM sports have already made an impact on many first-years, whether it is forming teams for football or soaking up the experience of looking out the window and getting to watch games on the field.

“I just like that it’s really chill, [and] there are always games that you can watch out on Ankeny,” said first-year Claire Vezie.

One of the most intriguing aspects of IM sports is the potential for the creation of a “dynasty team,” which is a commonly used name to describe a team of students who have played IM sports together for several years and attained a high level of success. Anderson Hall Resident Director Kendra Vandree is a member of one of these dynasty teams, made up of a group of girls who lived in 3-West in Jewett Hall when they were first-years.

“To start, we weren’t serious at all, just trying to play a game that could be recognized as football,” said Vandree. “I think our competitiveness and seriousness has just evolved naturally as we ourselves have improved.”

Besides the potential for becoming a part of a dynasty team, there is a community dynamic that helps bring Whit-

man students together.

“I think the greatest benefit of IM sports is the community aspect that is created,” said Gayle. “It’s fun to have games on a weekend against friends that [gives] a sense of bragging rights or competition. IM sports are also a fun way to relax after a tough week or to take a break from studying if that’s needed.”

“I like that IM sports can be whatever you make of them,” said Vandree.

“They’re an avenue to play competitive sports if you want or you can dress up in costumes for every volleyball game and congratulate your teammates for being in the right place at the right time.”

Students aren’t the only ones who have the opportunity to play IM sports.

“Faculty, staff and anyone else who is paid by Whitman are allowed to play,” said Gayle. “You may come out to Ankeny one afternoon and see the athletic coaches training for soccer, or faculty members playing football.

The bottom line: no matter who you are or what you like to do, IM sports are always an option, whether for exercising stored athletic prowess or simply giving yourself the opportunity to take a break from studying and get out in the sun.

And for people like Vandree, IM sports will find a way to forever be a part of a student’s life.

“I have a giant ball of positive emotion that roils about in my heart when I think of my football team,” said Vandree. “I think that’s pretty fun.”

The Pioneer

Backpage

Bringing You To the Verge Of Laughter Since 1922

Issue 5 Oct 14, 2010 Page 8

Bears in the Workplace

Of course, we all know (or should know) about the famous Soldier Bear of WWII. He was trained by the Polish Army as a cub and became a loyal, tough, cigarette-eating, beer-drinking, killing machine, and his story has charmed people around the world to this day. But did you know that there are literally DOZENS of other professional bears who have helped shape our world today? Here are some of their stories:

Abolitionist Bear

Theodore Browning was a bear of English origin who was one of the most influential figures in the fight to end slavery in America. He is perhaps best known for his rousing speech presented to the Plantation Alliance of Tennessee in 1852. Few people know that he was also one of Harriet Beecher Stowe’s closest friends and influences.

Bias against class of ‘13 confirmed

A Whitman administration intern recently asked of the administration, “Hey boss lady, which one of the years is your favorite?” To which administration formally responded, “Young intern, I love ALL my years equally! Class of 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, they’re all my favorite!” The representative smiled and continued doing administrative jobs. The intern could tell “boss lady” was a “liar.” In hot pursuit of the true favorite Whitman class, the intern found documents laying out past, current and future adminis trative and academic discrepancies that indefinitely prove who is Whitman’s least favorite class.

Here are intern’s results:

TOP SECRET

whitman administrati

ve offices

I don't care much for Whitman Class of 2013

Dentist Bear

Proposed Summer Book Reading: “The Last Town on Earth” by Thomas Mullen Comments: “Everyone loves” reading about the flu. MWAHAHAHA.

Dr. Dave Moriarty is my dentist. He was the first licensed bear dentist in California, as well as the first dentist to encourage circular brushing rather than back-and-forth in order to promote gum health.

Soldier Bear in action

Inventor Bear

Johann Johnson was the Swedish inventor of the world’s first modern vacuum cleaner in 1866. This achievement has been mistakenly attributed to Ives McGaffey for years by historians, but it was recently discovered that he actually “Watson and Crick-ed” this discovery from Johnson after seeing his machines in Johnson’s Stockholm shop.

Field Scientist Bear

In 1911 Bethany Donalds became the first biologist to ever record the speed that a cheetah can run. This fact has since been recited by elementary school students to their friends and parents all over the world. (It is 70 mph, in case you have somehow forgotten.) When he introduced her to accept her Nobel Prize, Albert Einstein said of Donalds, “We in the science community all admire the way that she was able to make those cheetahs feel like she was one of them. She accomplished something that no other human or bear scientist has been able to before. After literally years of acting like a cheetah in front of them, they finally trusted her enough to run.”

Advertising Bear

Donald Drapebear was the real name of the Madison Avenue maverick that inspired the popular AMC show “Mad Men”. This bear fucked so many women.

Instituted Proposed Summer Gift Basket: Whitman will send vials containing different viruses and bacteria including flu and meningitis instead of a crate of onions.

Comments: They will be exposed to it in time! Don’t be too hasty my child.

Denied Proposed Registration Change: In 2010, as ‘13-ers become sophomores, upperclassmen priority revoked.

Comments: We’ll have to think of something to keep them from having priority when they’re actually upperclassmen, but we’ll “cross” that bridge when we come to it.

Instituted

Proposed Housing Change: All ‘13-ers required to live in basement of North Hall.

Their rooms will be the pull out freezers previously used in the morgue to preserve dead corpses; now it’ll kind of just look like a Japanese business hotel.

Comments: Let’s hold off on this one until we can find another place to store all the extra staplers that we refuse to disperse around campus.

Pending Review

Stay-at-home-mother Bear

Anyone who says it’s not a full-time job should try it sometime!! Marjorie Campbell was voted “Best Mom” in 1991 by her two children, who are half bear, half human. She is now a proud grandmother and loving it.

Surf Bear

Lacie Michaels competed in her first national surf competition in Oahu in 2003. Her success in a field dominated by human men has been an inspiration to other girl bears across the globe. Even after losing a paw to a great white shark in Santa Cruz last year, Lacie has gotten back on the board and won several regional championships since then. Surf legend Kelly Slater said of fellow waverider and rumored ex-girlfriend Lacie Michaels, “She commands the waves in a way that very few people can. God, she is just so beautiful!!!”

Proposed Summer Reading 2.0: All ‘13ers must read the “K” section of the Encyclopedia by graduation and be prepared to pass an oral exam on all matters, nuances, and tensions presented in the book.

Comments: Is there a more boring letter than “K”?

Pending Review Proposed Graduation Plans: Because of “bad economy” and the loss of so much “endowment,” graduation for the Class of 2013 will be combined with graduation for Class of 2014 and will be held in 2014.

Comments: The economy is so bad.

Pending Review

‘Animorph’ on campus stirs controversy Dentist Bear

Advertising Bear

Jake Berenson, 19, is like most Whitman stu- newly hired Dean of Polymorphic Affairs. dents his age. He rock climbs on the weekends, “We’d also like to take this opportunity to reis an active member of the T-Tones (Whitman’s mind all Whitman students that our sexual haall-male a capella group) and loves to spend rassment policy extends to humans assuming sunny afternoons on Ankeny playing covers the forms of animals, including but not limited of “Santeria” on guitar with his pledge broth- to dogs, bears and all primates. If you see a red ers. But Jake has another talent that is making dot situation in progress, you should always many members of the Whitman community intervene--even if it seems awkward or if one “beary” apprehensive. of the people involved is assuming the shape of “It just really pissa bear.” es me off when Jake President George morphs into a golden Bridges also addressed the retriever and humps presence of Animorphs on girls legs to impress campus in a Q&A session his retarded friends,” in Cordiner Hall. says Becky Coleman, a “As a fellow bipedal sophomore art major. human earth male who “It was, like, kind of enjoys regular consumpfunny the first time, but tion of plant and animal -Jef-Chad Bearfield ‘12 he won’t stop doing it.” matter for subsistence, I Others feel differfind your human response ently. Jef-Chad Bearirrelevant. Soon our Yerk field, junior and one of Jake’s pledge brothers, armies will infiltrate your puny human fleshsays, “Jake is the fucking shit, bro! This one sacks and force you to build our empire upon time time he was doing a keg stand, and started the ruins of your own. Now if you’ll excuse me, transforming into a bear while he was drink- I must excrete these vile organic substances, ing and we all just fucking LOST IT. It was the which I do regularly as a fellow human.” funniest shit ever. He was all like ‘I’m good to As for Jake, he doesn’t understand what all drive bro’, but he was still kind of a bear and to- the fuss is about. tally sloshed so it was like ‘IARRGH GOORGH “People, like at Whitman? Why wouldn’t DRAVE BRAAGH.’ Best function ever.” they? I’m awesome! It’s like, uh, can you turn School officials have already begun to lay out into a dog? Yeah, I didn’t think so, bitch! Maybe some ground rules for Jake’s morphing abili- once you get some awesome Hork-Bajir budties. dies you can talk shit! You losers are more “Students aren’t allowed to morph in dorm whiny than that Tobias bitch I used to hang out hallways, but they may morph in the privacy with, back before I had real friends like J-Chad. of their dorm room,” says Veronica Dealy, the Fucking pussies!”

This one time he was doing a keg stand, and started transforming into a bear, and we all just... LOST IT.

Stay-at-home-mother Bear

Surf Bear

New Tea Party Heroes

Hey gang! It’s getting kind of hard to keep track of the Tea Party movement these days, what with all these new figureheads and spokespersons popping up all over the place. In order to avoid public confusion, we present to you a list of all the newest Tea Party heroes along with a few credentials we pulled off their websites just so you know they’re the “real deal.” Keep a look out, and make sure you don’t mix them up! They tend to take that kind of thing personally.

“Minuteman” Steve

– Graduated from Liberty University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Science; claims to speak for the entire Tea Party Movement.

“Stars and Stripes” Sandy

– Graduated from University of America, with a BA in Kicking Ass and Taking Names.

“Fiscal Responsibility” Phillip

– Graduated from USQ. Majored in Voodoo Economics with a minor in Spooky Literary Analysis.

“Predator Drones” Pete

– Regular attendee of San Diego Comic-Con.

“Free Markets” Fred

– Has read the whole Bible twice (both testaments!).

Glenn “Glenn Beck” Beck

– Once awarded a BAFTA for most gratuitous and embarrassing fake tears.

Bobby “Flags!”

– Flags!

“Anchor Baby” Bertha

– Attended University of Common Sense (UCS) for one semester; can sense anchor babies from four states away.

“Mama Grizzly” Marty

– An actual Kodiak grizzly bear, trained by Sarah Palin’s staff to attack environmentalists on sight.

“No Taxation without RepresenTanya”

– No experience, doesn’t claim to know anything about the Tea Party’s cause or platform. Just a catchy name and enough sass to choke a pig!

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