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Sep

22 2011

POTTY MOUTHING

ILLUSTRATION BY PETERSON

When diversity falls, quizzes must rise Diversity is a big buzzword at our little school (and on our Feature page!). Despite our efforts to integrate a number of diverse students, have our perspectives really been expanded? We don’t actually know! So, our Backpage quizmasters have carefully crafted this quiz so that you, our esteemed readers, can find out! 1. Which country has the most Muslims? a. Indonesia b. America c. Afghanistan

5. Can you name these two Whitties correctly? a. b.

2. What is a weave? a. way to make a basket b. a form of hair extension c. a woman’s best friend 3. Who is the president of Mexico? a. Felipe Calderón b. Vicente Fox c. Carlos Salinas 4. What colors are on the Vietnam flag? a. black and yellow b. red and yellow c. green and yellow d. black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow

6. What is the difference between a burrito and an enchilada? a. type of tortilla b. one has stuff on top c. all of the above d. nothing e. none of the above

When ‘unpretentious’ fails . . . Through its esteemed history, Whitman’s identity has remained open-ended, due in part to the diversity of the students and seemingly limitless slogans that could each accurately apply to Whitties. But which slogan defines Whitman the best? I recently went around campus and asked students what their slogan for Whitman would be and these are the responses I received:

Missionaries, Missionaries, we’re on top! Whitman: Unpretentious, pretentious Northwest culture. Whitman . . . What’s your safe word? We learn, we live, we love . . . to party We may be missionaries, but we can get dirtier than nuns doing power squats in cucumber fields. We’re nerdy, we’re dirty and we’re purdy. We’re giddy, we’re witty and we’re pretty.

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We all know that piece of paper in our section bathroom stall. It’s there. It’s fun. It’s profane. It’s an age-old residence hall pastime, dating back to the early days of Whitman College, when they used quill and ink to pen dirty comments, such as, “My chap, I have the beer farts.” To the point: have you ever wondered what the opposite sex writes on its bathroom-stall comment board? Thanks to Backpage’s ardent investigative journalism (we stole these), we can now give you a glimpse.

LETTER FROM THE SLUTTITOR-IN-CHIEF

Dear Sexies, This week I’m trying a new pair of metaphorical fishnets on for size. Watch out, world, here comes a word search! Love, Adam “Fyodor Doslutevsky” Brayton Encounters Profs. Word Search G U N S U L Y R J S Q M K C J

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Whitman Pioneer Fall 2011 Backpage  

The September 22 edition