SOAP Part of a com p l e te breakfast
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Ways to order
Contact us at sales@whiskeyriversoap.com if you'd like to connect with a sales rep in your area.
Place an order directly on our wholesale website: www.whiskeyriversoapco.com Order on Faire: 68 W. Main St. Newark, OH 43055 Open 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. M-F
TEL: 740.973.9817
FAX: 877.515.4424
OLD-SCHOOL LIP BALM TINS STICKER SETS
AWARENESS BANDS
FRICTION MATCH "BOOKS"
MATCHBOOKS
sales@whiskeyriversoap.com "DO NOT EAT" SOAP THAT'S A MATCH! CANDLES
NEW SOAPS NEW SOAPS
Introducing our new line: Do Not Eat... Soap. Just what the world has been begging for!
Original Soaps:
Handmade vegan soaps designed by our inhouse soap artisans with fragrance blends to match each concept. Shrink-wrapped with a softtouch label. Soap size: 2 3/4” H x 3 1/2” W x 1” D. Sold in 4-packs.
Order up.
That's a Match!
Finally! A candle and matchbook combo that actually matches! And you have to admit, it’s the perfect candle set to give your twinning bestie and her twinning labradoodle.
That’s a Match! Candle and Matchbook Sets: Made-in-USA soy wax candle. Burn time: 40 hours. Size: 2 3/4” D x 3 1/2” H. Net weight: 6.5 ounces. Sold in 4-packs. Comes with matching matchbook.
SHITGO-MC
TOBACCO & JASMINE
AMBER, LIME & BERGAMOT
GRAPEFRUIT & PINK PEPPERCORN
SAGE & VANILLA CEDARWOOD
OCEAN BREEZE & SEA SALT
TEAKWOOD & LEATHER
RETRO LIP BALM TINS
Problem: It’s difficult keeping your lips moisturized with all the boring lip balms available on the market today.
Solution: Whiskey River Old-School Lip Balm Tins. Problem solved.
Old-School Lip Balm Tins: Madein-USA lip balm slider tins. Tin size: 2″ W × ⅜″ D × 1″ H. Four different natural flavors. Sold in 4-packs or by collection.
MINT FLAVOR
best sellerS 10-pack
BEST SELLERS
MINT FLAVOR
LB-LIVING LB-HIGH
LB-LITERALLY
LB-GUNK
LB-GABAGOOL
ORIGINAL FLAVOR
CHERRY FLAVOR
ORIGINAL FLAVOR
VANILLA FLAVOR
CHERRY FLAVOR
MINT FLAVOR
VANILLA FLAVOR
CHERRY FLAVOR
CHERRY FLAVOR
BLUE RASPBERRY FLAVOR
VANILLA FLAVOR
ORIGINAL FLAVOR
BLUE RASPBERRY FLAVOR
LB-MOUTH
LB-POSH
LB-SLENDER
LB-CRUST
LB-DUSTBOWL
LB-PREOWNED
LB-ALKY
LB-SOVIET
LB-COKE
LB-WEIRD
LB-DARK
LB-RAISIN
LB-WRANGLER
LB-COUSINS
LB-WHISTLER
MINT FLAVOR
ORIGINAL FLAVOR
VANILLA FLAVOR
CHERRY FLAVOR
MINT FLAVOR
MINT FLAVOR
BLUE RASPBERRY FLAVOR
MINT FLAVOR
VANILLA FLAVOR
VANILLA FLAVOR
BLUE RASPBERRY FLAVOR
CHERRY FLAVOR
MINT FLAVOR
CHERRY FLAVOR
ORIGINAL FLAVOR
Ever feel like that new candle you bought’s missing something? Or maybe your birthday card for Aunt Clem is lacking a little flavor? Upgrade that shit with our “Fuck It!” Candle Upgrade Stickers. Available wherever zero fucks are given.
Candle Upgrade Stickers:
Two sticker sheets with header card, size: 5″ × 9 ½″. Full-color. Sold in 4-packs.
Prank Sticker Packs
Ah, nothing beats the original. Before we released these babies, life was bleak. But out of darkness came light, and a beautiful sticker set was born. Trusted by pranksters the world over, our original collection of 60 tricky stickers has stood the test of time. Unlike my liver.
Prank Stickers Set A and B:
Two 30-sticker sheets with header card, size: 5″ × 9 ½″. Full-color. Sold in 4-packs.
Awareness Wrist Bands
Some people just never seem to be aware of what’s going on around them… You know the type, the person who misses their bus stop or holds up traffic, sitting at a green light daydreaming.
Now you can help them out with our new Be Aware Bands bracelets! No longer will the unaware among us have to wonder if you’re a Dog Person or whether you’re already “Peopled Out” for the day. Your wrist will tell the story loud and clear. You’re welcome.
Awareness Wristbands
Set A (Clean) and Set B (Explicit)
2 units of each awareness band style; a total of 44 wristbands. Ships in counter-top display box.
Awareness Bands
Counter-Top Display:
Sturdy paperboard POP display holds 44 awareness bands and is included with each collection. Display size: 6″ W × 6″ D × 9 ½″ H.
Shipped in countertop display!
Pulp Friction Match “Books”
Inspired by the covers of mid-century pulp fiction novels, these little beauties are sure to scandalize— in a good way! Perfect for reading steamy books by candlelight in the tub.
Match Books:
Vintage-style matchboxes inspired by pulp fiction paperback novels. Six styles; sold in 4-packs. Match box size: 2 ⅛″ W × 3 ⅝″ H × 3⁄5″ D.
Shipped
Pulp Friction Match Books Counter-Top Display Box
Receive this sturdy display box when you order all six styles and watch as our Pulp Friction Match Books become your next bestseller.
Display box dimensions:
6 ⅝″ W × 7 ¾″ D × 14″ H. Holds 4 units each of all 6 available styles.
RETRO MATCHBOOKS Award W inning
Original Old-School Retro Matchbooks
The Whiskey River Matchbook was first identified from fossils discovered in Amazonian caves and was believed to be extinct until 2018, when a single specimen was spotted in a Nebraska cornfield. While a handful of other matchbooks would be documented in the following years, by late 2022 the species was listed as critically endangered. The prospects for survival were bleak, but thanks to intensive conservation efforts and a very generous grant from the government of Alabama, the great Whiskey River Matchbook has made a successful comeback in ecosystems across North America. Cool.
Display box size: 6 ½″ L × 6 ½″ W × 2 ½″ H.
Matchbook Set B
64-pack of 20-strike matchbooks in counter-top display. Made in USA.
Shipped in countertop display!
Matchbook Set F1
60-pack of 20-strike matchbooks in counter-top display. Made in USA.
Matchbook Set D
64-pack of 20-strike matchbooks in counter-top display. Made in USA.
MAT-F1
So Random! Air Fresheners
Hey, what stinks? Not you, now that you have your very own air freshener to haul around. With any luck, people will quit running for the hills when you open your mouth to say something… Or ya know, you could start brushing your teeth a little more often. Either works!
Air Fresheners: Designed-in-USA air fresheners with two-sided backer cards and scents to match each unique concept. Air freshener size: 3 ⅓″ W × 4 ⅓″ H. Package size: 3 ¾″ W × 9″ H. Double-sided, full-color. Sold in packs of 4.
WTF? The Air Fresheners
What the actual fuck is that smell? Who gives a shit. Just cover it up with one of our colorful air fresheners, complete with your favorite four-letter word. (Except for the one that isn’t.)
Air Fresheners:
5 different curse word candle air fresheners with unique scents. Air freshener size: 2 ¾″ W × 4″ H. Package size: 4″ W × 6″ H. Double-sided, full-color. Sold in packs of 4.
Whiskey River Soap Company
Amaretto Sour
Whiskey River Soap Company
Pomegranate Champagne
RUSTY NAIL SCENT
CUCUMBER ALOE SCENT
AMARETTO SOUR SCENT
GIN MARTINI SCENT
SALTY DOG COCKTAIL SCENT
STRAWBERRY FROSE SCENT
BLUEBERRY BOUBON FIZZ
TROPICAL IPA SCENT RUM PUNCH SCENT
Candle Air Fresheners
the safe way to candle up your car
Finally, a safe way to bring your love of candles into your automobile... or horse and buggy, depends on your lifestyle choice.
Air Fresheners: Designed-in-USA candle air fresheners with scents based on the original candle. Air freshener size: 3 ½″ W × 3″ H. Package size: 5 ½″ W × 6 ½″ H. Double-sided, full-color. Sold in packs of 4.
FLORAL INSINCERITY SCENT
VODKA VITAMIN WATER SCENT
SIPPY CUP WINE SCENT
& SODA SCENT
GRAPES SCENT
RASPBERRY BERET SCENT
SUMMER CAMP SCENT
AMBER SCENT
ALMOST LOUIS VUITTON SCENT
best sellerS 8-pack
SOGGY CHEERIOS SCENT
CYNICAL CITRUS SCENT TRO-F
TRICKED-OUT PORSCHE SCENT ZER-F
CREAMSICLE SCENT
SANTAL 99 SCENT
WARM MILK SCENT
PINK COCKTAIL SCENT
BETTER CLOTHES SCENT
BANANA SCENT
RAIN STICK SCENT
GRASSY PARK SCENT
JUICY
FARM FRESH SCENT
HMO-F
FGH-F
GAR-F FRI-F
ZEN-F
NAM-F
HCX-F
FRESH FRUIT SCENT
YOU'RE A PEACH SCENT
YELLOW ROSES SCENT
CRAZY GRAPE SCENT
PLAIN TAP WATER SCENT
CK-1 SCENT
GARDEN OF EDEN SCENT
COO-F
GOSSIP SCENT
GUM CHEWING SCENT
COOL CUCUMBER SCENT
CALMING LAVENDAR SCENT
TIE DYE DREAMS SCENT
Subtext Greeting Cards
Greeting Cards:
18 different greeting cards that expose surprising hidden subtexts behind the senitment. Card size: 4 ¼″ W × 5 ½″
H. Blank inside. Includes envelope and poly bag sleeve. Sold in packs of 6. Printed in the USA.
BEST SELLER
BEST SELLER
ST-SCAM
ST-KILLERS
ST-DREAMS ST-HOES ST-WOODS
THE RETRO SOAP BOX
Our deluxe Triple Milled Soap is made in Vermont, just like the world’s best maple syrup. Yep, we said it—sorry New Hampshire. And unlike syrup, our soap bars won’t stick to your hands. How’s that for an added bonus?
Triple Milled Soap: Made-in-USA soap bars in sturdy paperboard cartons. Sold as pre-packs of 16 or available to order individually in packs of 4. Net weight: 3 ounces.
Carton size: 3 ¾″ L × 2 ½″ W × 1 ⅛″ D.
S-GRANDMA S-D0G
JUICY FRAGRANCE SCENT
ORANGE BERGAMOT SCENT
PLEASING SOAP SCENT
GREEN CAT-EYE SCENT
ORANGE DAQUIRI SCENT
ROLLED IN THE YARD SCENT
BEST SELLER
FREE DISPLAY WITH 4 STYLES
BEST SELLER BEST SELLER
S-FUCKO
S-BUSH
S-MILF
S-SLUT
S-SHIT
S-CUNT
S-BOOTY
CILANTRO LIME SCENT
HARD WOOD SCENT
GARDEN VARIETY SCENT
RESIN 'N' ROSES SCENT
PAIR OF PINE CONES SCENT
COMMUNAL CITRUS SCENT
OLD HUNGARIAN GOULASH SCENT
CREAMSICLE MILF-SHAKE SCENT
MUSKY FLOWERS SCENT
GARBAGE TORNADO SCENT
BOLD BOOTY SCENT
GARDEN FRESH SCENT
The Notorious WTF Candles
AMARETTO SOUR SCENT
POMEGRANATE CHAMPAGNE SCENT
SALTY DOG COCKTAIL SCENT
WTF Candles: Soy wax candle. Burn time: 40 hours. Size: 2 ¾″ D × 3 ½″ H. Net weight: 6.5 ounces. Sold in 4-packs.
FROSÉ SCENT
TROPICAL IPA SCENT
WT15-C
STRAWBERRY
WT7-C
SLOE GIN FIZZ SCENT
WT1-C
WT6-C
WT8-C
WT13-C
WT2-C
WT5-C
WT9-C
WT4-C
LIME MOJITO SCENT
RUSTY NAIL SCENT
WT12-C
RUM PUNCH SCENT
BLUEBERRY BOURBON FIZZ SCENT
Our 100% soy wax candles aren’t the most polite on the shelf, but as we all know, they won’t stay on the shelf for long. Like it or leave it, profanity is fuckin’ hot. So buy these precious and delicioussmelling pastel candles featuring your grandma’s favorite F-word!
CHARDONNAY ON ICE SCENT
SINGAPORE SLING SCENT
WT16-C
WT20-C
WT18-C
WT17-C
WT19-C
WTF Soaps
They’re the WTF Candles you’ve known and loved since 2019, now in soap form! Made by hand in our Ohio factory. How’s that for a fucking innovation?
WTF Soap Bars:
10 different handmade vegan soap bars designed by our in-house soap artisans with fragrance blends to match each concept. Shrink-wrapped with a transparent label. Dimensions: 3 ½″ L × 2 ¾″ W × 1″ H. Sold in 4-packs.
WT12-S
WT14-S
WT1-S
WT5-S
WT4-S
WT9-S
WT6-S
POMEGRANATE CHAMPAGNE
RUM PUNCH SCENT
VODKA STINGER SCENT
RUSTY NAIL SCENT
STRAWBERRY FROSE SCENT
AMARETTO SOUR SCENT
BLUEBERRY BOURBON FIZZ
CUCUMBER ALOE DAQUIRI TROPICAL IPA SCENT
SALTY DOG COCKTAIL SCENT
Vintage Paint Can Candles
Vintage-Style Paint Can Candles: 12-ounce soy wax candles hand-poured into paint cans designed with vintagestyle labels. Candle can size: 3 ¼″ D × 3 ⅞″ H. Burn time: 50 hours. 5 different paint can candle styles sold in 3-packs.
View more Vintage Paint Can Candles
PAI-1
PAI-8 PAI-6
PAI-4
PAI-6
BERGAMOT, TOBACCO & YUZU
SMOKED VANILLA & TEAKWOOD
Emergency Ambiance Candle Tins
Hey, know what this situation is severely lacking? That’s right. AMBIANCE. And we've got the perfect travel candle tin for all kinds of emergencies!
Emergency Ambiance Travel Tins: 100% soy wax scented with fragrance oils. Burn time: 4 1-hour emergency burns. Comes with “Emergency Ambiance” pack of matches under lid. Stainless steel tin size: 1.125" H x 3.125" D.
14 different 3-ounce candle styles sold in 4-packs.
WINE POPSICLES SCENT
CORNER BAR SCENT
EMPTY BOTTLE BLUES SCENT
GUMMIES SCENT
CUCUMBER MELON SCENT
BLACK RASPBERRY SCENT
COCONUT SCENT
Notorious Awards Vintage Pen Sets
Here’s to the crazy bitches. The potty mouths. The bad moms. The ones who use grammar different. While some may see them as notorious, we see real winners.
Pen Sets:
4 black ink ballpoint click pens in a colorful and sturdy 2-piece box. Pen size: 5 ½″ L × ⅜″ W. Box size: 5 ⅝″ L × 1 ⅛″ W × 1 ⅛″ H. Sold in 4-packs.
Crazy Bitches Awards Pens
Annual Liar Society Awards
MOST “I’M NOT MAD” DECLARATIONS
WINDOW BREAKING NATIONALS
Social Media Awards 2022
Body Modifications 2023 · LONGEST POINTIEST NAILS
FASTEST MOOD CHANGE · People’s Choice 2021
Bad Grammar Awards Pens
Spelling Deal-Breaker Awards “LOOSE” INSTEAD OF “LOSE”
APOSTROPHE CATASTROPHES 2022
Best of Poor Grammar New’s
Social Media Awards 2023
WORST USAGE OF “YOUR”
MOST QUESTIONS ENDING IN “AT” Winner Bad Preposition Use
Prolific Swearing Awards Pens
Uncomfortable Poetry Awards
HIGHEST NUMBER OF EXPLETIVES
PUTTING “FUCK” ON A PILLOW
Off-Color Cross-Stitch Nationals
Top Performer 2022
MOST F BOMBS PER MINUTE
CURSING IN FRONT OF GRANDMA 1st Place: Toddler Division
Bad Moms Awards Pens
Longest Running Streak 2022
TIPSY AT SCHOOL FUNCTIONS
BIGGEST DIRTY LAUNDRY PILE
Bad Housekeeping Magazine
Bad Moms Association 2021 MOST F BOMBS DROPPED TO KIDS
6-Month Family Challenge Winner RAMEN NOODLE MARATHON
Pencils
Some say that the pencil was inspired by the humble writing twigs used in ancient Mesopotamia, while some say the first pencils originated high in the mountains of the Himalayas; others still insist the pencil always existed, it simply needed to be discovered. Here at Whiskey River Soap, we don’t really concern ourselves with all that history mumbo-jumbo. We’re too busy thinking up comedic quips for our made in USA pencil sets.
Pencil Sets: 8-pack of standard No. 2 pencils made in the USA.
Box size: 7 1/2" L x 2 1/2" H x 3/8" D. Sold in 4-packs.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PENCILS
THAT’S SO NICE FOR YOU *TURNS READ RECEIPTS ON* WHATEVER.
I’M SORRY YOU’RE SO SENSITIVE I PREFER PENS, BUT THIS IS FINE I’M NOT MAD WHAT GRUDGE? NEVER MIND, IT WASN’T THAT IMPORTANT
DID YOU KNOW? You can choose
CRAZY BITCHES PENCIL STYLES DON’T MAKE ME TAKE MY HOOPS OUT HALF MY PAYCHECK GOES TO MY NAILS DRUNKEST B*TCH AT THE PARTY ROUND OF SHOTS! OH, YOU HEARD I WAS CRAZY? I HATE YOU! LOVE YOU, BOO I’M NOT MAD.
Pencil Displays FREE when filled with pencils. Additional fee for extra displays.
best sellers 5-pack
CAT PEOPLE PENCIL STYLES
IT’S NOT ME, MY CAT LIKES DRESSING UP WHAT’S ONE MORE CAT?
SEND ME CAT MEMES SO I KNOW IT’S REAL GRUMPY CAT… NEVER FORGET DID SOMEONE SAY FREE KITTENS?? 30 CATS IS A NICE ROUND NUMBER WEEKEND PLANS: CAT. COUCH. COCKTAIL MY CAT HATES YOU
DAD JOKES PENCIL STYLES
PULL MY FINGER
THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU HI HUNGRY, I’M DAD WORKIN’ HARD OR HARDLY WORKIN’? BOOM, YOU’RE A SANDWICH I’M JUST RESTING MY EYES DON’T TELL YOUR MOM NO, YOUR OTHER RIGHT
DOG PEOPLE PENCIL STYLES
IT WAS THE DOG, I SWEAR WOOF.
BOW WOW WOW YIPPY YO YIPPY YAY CAN I BRING MY DOG?
I WAS TALKING TO THE DOG, NOT YOU DOGS, THEN PEOPLE
USED UP ALL MY SICK DAYS AT THE VET MY DOG IS LONELY I NEED TO GO HOME
GRAMMAR POLICE PENCIL STYLES
YOU LOST ME AT “YOUR BEAUTIFUL” YOU’RE TO SERVE AND CORRECT THEY’RE GOING THERE, TO THEIR HOUSE, OK? PUNCTUATION SAVES LIVES OXFORD COMMA TIL I DIE OFFICIAL GRAMMAR POLICE PENCIL SILENTLY CORRECTING YOUR GRAMMAR TEACHERS PENCIL STYLES
IDK, CAN YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM? I JUST REALIZED I DON’T EVEN LIKE KIDS OH YEAH? POP QUIZ, SUCKAS I HAVE PTSD FROM GRADING PAPERS COUNTDOWN TO SUMMER BREAK DON’T YOU DARE SAY “WIKIPEDIA” THANKLESS TASKS PENCIL DINNER… OR CLASSROOM SUPPLIES?
LEFTIES PENCIL STYLES THE “WEIRD” PENCIL RIGHT-HANDED IS TOO MAINSTREAM FOR ME THE REAL RIGHT-SIDE UP IMAKE THE WEIRD SCISSORS LOOK GOOD SMUDGE THIS!
LEFTIES GET THEIR HANDS DIRTY MORE PRESIDENTS ARE LEFTIES LEFT-HANDED BUT ALWAYS RIGHT
MIDDLE CHILD PENCIL STYLES
HAND-ME-DOWN PENCIL MATCHES THE HAIR COLOR ETERNALLY OVERLOOKED ONLINE COLLEGE WILL BE FINE FOR YOU BUT YOU’RE GOOD WITH REJECTION! YOU NEVER DID LIKE ATTENTION WHO ARE YOU AGAIN? NOBODY WILL READ THIS
INTROVERTS PENCIL STYLES
SORRY, I HAVE EBOLA MY LEGS FELL OFF THIS MORNING PEOPLE SCARE ME THE DAMN TOILET EXPLODED I ACCIDENTALLY DRANK SOME BLEACH THERE’S A WILD BOAR IN THE DRIVEWAY I’VE BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS I’M STUCK AT THE DUBAI AIRPORT
NURSES PENCIL STYLES
I’M NOT A WAITER, OK?
NO, I DIDN’T WANT TO BE A DOCTOR
I HAVEN’T PEED IN 12 HOURS ON CALL SOBRIETY BLUES RMEMBER SITTING DOWN? MED SCHOOL? TRY NURSING SCHOOL LOOK TIRED BECAUSE I AM SCRUB LIFE
THE OFFICE PENCIL STYLES
I FOUND THIS IN THE TOILET IT’S HARD TO MAKE NEW COFFEE COMIC SANS KILLS I’LL PROBABLY QUIT TODAY THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID RESTING STAFF MEETING FACE TRY TURNING IT OFF AND ON AGAIN BEARS. BEETS. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. OKAY MOMS PENCIL STYLES WHAT KIDS?
YAY! CHEEZ-ITS FOR DINNER! MOMMY’S BUZZED UP CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE MOMMY ALONE?
I NEVER DID MY HOMEWORK EITHER, KID DOES THIS SIPPY CUP SMELL LIKE WINE?
TRUST ME, I’M THE OKAYEST MOM HERE WHERE’S YOUR FRICKIN’ FATHER?
LITTLE WHITE LIES PENCILS
I LITERALLY NEVER DO THIS
I ONLY HAVE ONE GLASS A DAY
I NEVER LIE
OMG, I LOOOOVE WORKING OUT NO REALLY, YOU LOOK AMAZING I DELETED HIS NUMBER I HATE DRAMA I ALREADY DID MY HOMEWORK
PROCRASTINATORS PENCIL STYLES
I ALWAYS WORK BETTER WHEN IT’S NEXT WEEK LAST-SECOND CRUNCH TIME PENCIL
I’LL SHARPEN THIS LATER PROCRASTINATING IS ALSO AN ACHIEVEMENT
I’LL STUDY AFTER I CLEAN
I HAVE TO FINISH THIS NETFLIX SERIES FIRST I’LL FIND A USE FOR THIS PENCIL TOMORROW MINDLESS DOODLING PENCIL
MIDLIFE CRISIS PENCIL STYLES
BOUGHT A FOOD TRUCK!
I’M SO PUNK WITH MY PINK HAIR A TATTOO SLEEVE WOULD GIVE ME AN EDGE MY OTHER PENCIL IS A MOTORCYCLE I SHOULD GO BACK TO SCHOOL OFF TO IMPROV CAMP! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOTOX?
SIGNED UP FOR BANJO LESSONS!
WRITER'S BLOCK PENCIL STYLES
ADD A VAMPIRE
REGURGITATED IDEAS PENCIL TRY VODKA
KILL YOUR CHARACTERS LIGHTLY PLAGIARIZE INSERT COFFEE IV POTENTIAL MURDER WEAPON?
HIT HEAD REPEATEDLY WITH HAMMER
ZERO FUCKS PENCIL STYLES
SO FUCKING WHAT?
SO FUCKING WHAT?
SO FUCKING WHAT?
SO FUCKING WHAT?
SO FUCKING WHAT?
SO FUCKING WHAT?
SO FUCKING WHAT?
SO FUCKING WHAT?
BAD ATTITUDES PENCIL STYLES
APATHY IS A STATE OF MIND
*SLAMS DOOR*
WHY IS THIS MY PROBLEM? I’M NOT EVEN LISTENING YOUR FAULT, NOT MINE I’M NOT RUDE, YOU ARE WHY IS EVERYONE SO ANNOYING? CALL SOMEONE WHO CARES
COOL AUNT PENCIL STYLES
WAS THERE MORE WINE LEFT? YOUR MOTHER WAS REALLY WILD IN SCHOOL LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR DAD LET’S DO A MAKEOVER!
WINE GOES BAD. YOU HAVE TO DRINK IT ALL. YOUR GRANDMA USED TO BE A REAL “B”
POUR YOUR AUNT ANOTHER GLASS, DEAR AUNTIE NEEDS HER HEALTH GUMMIES
DAYS OF THE WEEK PENCIL STYLES
CANCEL MONDAYS
IT’S ONLY FRICKIN’ TUESDAY HUMPDAY
THIRSTY THURSDAY
IT’S FRIYAY!
SATURDAY VIBES
SUNDAY SCARIES
FEELS LIKE BLURSDAY
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS PENCILS THERE’S NO PAMPLEMOUSSE MY RIPPED JEANS ARE NOW TOO RIPPED THIS PENCIL ISN’T THE COLOR I WANTED BUT I WANT PUMPKIN SPICE ALL YEAR OMG, THE CHIPOTLE LINE IS SOOOO LONG MY NETFLIX WON’T LOAD
IDK WHAT TO BRING BECAUSE ONE PERSON IS A VEGAN THERE’S ALREADY A NEW IPHONE OUT
FUCKING BIRTHDAYS PENCIL STYLES
I GUESS YOU WANT A PRESENT NOW, HUH. HAPPY. BIRTHDAY. TO. ME.
OH, YOU’RE SOOO SPECIAL TODAY HEY, AT LEAST I REMEMBERED YOU’RE NOT OLD, YOU’RE ANCIENT YOU’RE LUCKY I HAVE TO BE NICE TO YOU GO ON. CRY IF YOU WANT TO. SLIGHTLY EXPIRED
HAPPY HOUR PENCIL STYLES
A GUY WALKS INTO A BAR EMERGENCY STIR STICK POWERED BY: VODKA
DON’T TALK TO ME BEFORE MY FIRST DRINK ALSO AVAILABLE SOBER
I SEE DRUNK PEOPLE IT’S 10 AM SOMEWHERE BEER ME
LOW SELF ESTEEM PENCIL STYLES
I’M KIND OF DULL
ALL USED UP, NOWHERE TO GO YOU’RE JUST USING ME
I BET YOU’LL THROW ME AWAY ONE DAY EVEN MY ERASER DISAPPEARS ON ME
I KNOW I’M YOUR #2 (NEVER #1) WHAT, I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR LEGAL DOCUMENTS
THE TRUTH PENCIL STYLES
I SECRETLY EAT BACON
I DON’T REALLY LOVE YOUR SHOES I FARTED AT YOGA
I’M NEVER TRULY SOBER
I’VE WORN THE SAME PANTS ALL WEEK
I THOUGHT PLANKING WAS A FISH
I SPELLCHECK MY SEXTS
YOUR BABY IS UGLY
Colored Pencils Puzzles
SHIT SHOW PENCILS
Colored Pencils:
8 brightly colored pre-sharpened pencils packed into a sturdy slideout box. Box size 7 5/8" H x 2 5/8" W x 1"D. Sold in 4-packs.
Puzzles: 1,000+ piece puzzles bagged and packed in sturdy, colorful boxes. Box size 8" H x 10" W. Puzzle size: 19.5" H x 26.875" W. 4 different puzzle styles sold in 2-packs.
FOM-Z
FOMO MOUNTAIN
GATEWAY-SB
Gateway Starter Packs
GATEWAY-WTF
GATEWAY-CB
Introducing “Gateway Multipack Sets.”
These four sets of our best-selling soaps and candles are designed to entice new, smaller, or reticent stores to take a chance on our products. It’s an affordable option to see how the line might sell in any given location!
Gateway Starter Packs
Do you b e l ieve in
ASTROLOGY?
AST Pencils:
AST Birthday Cards:
12 different astrology -sign-themed birthday cards with tear-off affirmations. Card size (folded): 5″ W × 7″ H. Blank inside. Includes envelope and poly bag sleeve. Sold in 4-packs.
8 custom pencils made specifically for each sign. Each set features a "selfie pencil" with backwards writing to fulfill all your selfie needs… We see you, Leo. Box size: 8 ¼” tall x 3 3/8” wide x ½” thick. Sold in 4-packs.
AST Air Fresheners: Scented to match our Astrology Soap and Candles. Air freshener size: 2 ¾″ W × 4″ H; package size: 4″ W × 7″ H. Two different sides, full-color. Sold in 4-packs.
Wooden matchsticks with colored heads to match each glass jar’s label. Jar size: 4 ¼″ H × 2″ W × 2″ D. Strike on bottom. Sold in 4-packs. We consider ourselves the world’s foremost authority on all things astrology. Seriously, we do. And we’d like to hear anyone make a case that our Astrology Line products don’t describe each sign to a T. You just consider yourself lucky we decided to make these suckers. You’re welcome.
AST Matchsticks:
Shop all Astrology
AST Soap:
Each 3 1/2" x 2 3/4" soap has a custom color-scheme and fragrance that matches the corresponding Astrology Candle. Shrinkwrapped with a clear label. Sold in 4-packs.
AST Candles:
Our 100% soy wax candles. Each lid has a brightly-colored sticker that matches our soap and pencil sets. Burn time: 40 hours. Jar size: 2 3/4" D x 3 1/2" H. Sold in 4-packs.
ASTROLOGY SOAP
CAPRICORN BERGAMOT BOSS SCENT
ALL 12 STYLES W/ FREE DISPLAY
AQUARIUS
PROGRESSIVE PAPAYA SCENT
PISCES
DRIFTWOOD DREAMER SCENT
ARIES
AGGRESSIVE AGAVE LIME SCENT
TAURUS
CHAMPAGNE CHIC SCENT
GEMINI WHIMSICAL WATERMELON SCENT
PISCEANS ARE THE UNICORNS OF THE ZODIAC
CANCER
MOODY MOJITOS SCENT LEO
LIBRA
FRENCH LAVENDER FLIRT SCENT
SCORPIO
VINDICTIVE VIOLETS SCENT
VIRGO
OVERTHINKING ORANGES SCENT
SAGITTARIUS
WANDERING WHITE TEA SCENT
VANILLA VANITY SCENT
ASTROLOGY CANDLES
CAPRICORN
BERGAMOT BOSS SCENT
DBossy AF
DFull-on workaholic
DFluent in sarcasm
“Capricorns are the most intelligent sign.” - a Capricorn
ARIES
AGGRESSIVE AGAVE LIME SCENT
DExcels at “me time”
DFrequent ER patient
DBorn winner
“An Aries never comes in second. Ever.”
- an Aries
ALL 12 STYLES
AQUARIUS
PROGRESSIVE PAPAYA SCENT
DWoke AF
DNew-agey
DSocial butterfly
“Aquarians have the most friends.” - an Aquarius
PISCES
DRIFTWOOD DREAMER SCENT
DHead in the clouds
DImpressionable
DConsummate napper
“Pisceans are the unicorns of the zodiac.” - a Pisces
TAURUS
CHAMPAGNE CHIC SCENT
DEpicurean
DPersonal space invader
DAbsolute ruler
“Taureans are the classiest of all the signs.” - a Taurus
GEMINI
WHIMSICAL WATERMELON SCENT
DGood at behaving badly
DFickle flirt
DDevious mind
“Geminis have the best sense of humor.” - a Gemini
an aries never comes in second. ever.
CANCER
MOODY MOJITOS SCENT
DProfessional introvert
DSecretly clingy
DGrudge collection
“Cancers are the most creative sign.” - a Cancer
LEO
VANILLA VANITY SCENT
DAlways right
DCharming AF
DEasily flattered
“Leos are the best looking sign.” - a Leo
LIBRA
FRENCH LAVENDER FLIRT SCENT
DPeople pleaser
DPassive-aggressive
DLate fee collector
“Libras make the best friends with benefits.” - a Libra
SCORPIO
VINDICTIVE VIOLETS SCENT
DBasic sadist
DDevours the weak
DPower glare champ
“Everyone wants to be a Scorpio.” - a Scorpio
VIRGO
OVERTHINKING ORANGES SCENT
DTrivia champ
DSpreadsheet master
DImpromptu party planner
“Virgos have it all figured out.” - a Virgo
SAGITTARIUS
WANDERING WHITE TEA SCENT
DClass clown
DCommitment-challenged
DEscape artist
“Sagittarians have the nicest bodies.” - a Sagittarius
ASTROLOGY PENCILS BEST SELLERS
CAPRICORN
December 22 - January 19
EVERY SILVER LINING HAS A CLOUD MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY EVERY DAY I’M HUSTLIN’ BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART BOSSY AF
BECAUSE I READ THE MANUAL MY PAY STUBS ARE LIT
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): CONTROL FREEEEEAK
Back:
You are in avid pursuit of wealth and power, but are more grounded than a world traveler on a no-fly list. People like you because you’re filthy rich. And even though your source of income might be considered “iffy,” there’s nothing sexier than a bit of danger and a wad of cash.
AQUARIUS
January 20 - February 18
YOU HAD ME AT REVOLUTION UP FOR LITERALLY ANYTHING SPIRITUAL GANGSTA
POTENTIAL LIFE COACH
AQUARIANS ARE SECRETLY SMARTER BFF COLLECTOR
ENIGMATIC BUT ALSO DRUNK
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): WOKE AF
Back:
You have a deep understanding of human nature and would excel at writing straight-to-DVD chick flicks.
Your desire to save the whole planet keeps you mindful of doing real work for the people. That said, you’re mostly valued for your non-stop partying and unstoppable quest to obtain the latest everything.
PISCES
February 19 - March 20
TIME FOR MY SECOND NAP
STRAY ANIMAL COLLECTOR
WILDLY UNDERAPPRECIATED
DRINKS LIKE A FISH
AMAZEBALLS IDEAS PENCIL
MY ALONE TIME IS FOR YOUR SAFETY WILL ACCEPT FLATTERY
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): TOTAL DREAMER
Back:
You have a large capacity for helping those in distress. You are sympathetic to the world’s unfortunate, including every stray animal and helpless soul you meet. People like you because of your unbridled optimism. Might want to keep that in check, though. Collecting parking tickets shouldn’t fondly be referred to as a “hobby.”
ARIES
March 21 - April 19
I COULD’VE EASILY GONE PRO FIGHT ME
I ALWAYS KNOW WHAT I’M DOING FOR MY NEXT TRICK... NEAR PERFECTION
UNFINISHED PROJECTS PENCIL WROTE THE 1ST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): 100%
Back:
You are a natural competitor with very little patience for whiners. You’re a doer, not a dreamer and are not given to long, drawn-out emotional moments. People like you because you look hot in shorts. This is the year to take your shower singing act on the road.
aquarians have the most friends.
TAURUS
April 20 - May 20
INFLEXIBLE BECAUSE I’M RIGHT WHO WERE YOU JUST TEXTING? I NEED MORE MIDDLE FINGERS
I HEARD THERE WOULD BE CAKE JUST CALL ME DICTATOR FOR SHORT
TREAT YO’SELF IS ON MY FAMILY CREST CHAMPAGNE GOES WITH EVERYTHING
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): CLASSY AF
Back:
You are extremely reliable and protective of loved ones. Both loyal and committed, you have a stick-to-it-ive-ness that others admire and you ensure there’s never a single drop left in the bottle of Dom Perignon. People like you because you appreciate the finer things in life and can party hard without a single hair out of place.
GEMINI
May 21 - June 20
VODKA IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL I MADE MEMES BEFORE IT WAS COOL I DON’T WANT TO GOSSIP, BUT... WAIT TIL YOU MEET MY OTHER PERSONALITY I DON’T CARE WHAT I SAID 10 MINS AGO GEMINIS ARE LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES I’M NOT SUPERFICIAL, JUST REALLY INTO LOOKS
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): WORLD CLASS FLIRT
Back:
You are a natural flirt and tend to seek out mentors in the form of wise-ish (and sexy) bartenders. In terms of introvert and extrovert, you tend to swing both ways, depending on the day… or cocktail. And even though you’ve been called “out there” on more than one occasion, people like you because you’re the good kind of crazy.
CANCER
June 21 - July 22
CANCERS HAVE ALL THE FEELS PROFESSIONAL INTROVERT I’M FINE!
NO OFFENSE, I JUST DON’T LIKE PEOPLE I’M STABBING YOU IN MY MIND
BECAUSE I ONLY NEED ONE FRIEND I’M JUST GONNA STAY HOME TONIGHT
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): GHOSTING MASTER
Back:
You’re no stranger to thumb-sucking, but you’re not a total pushover, either. It’s just that you have all those FEELINGS and it sometimes makes you need hugs more than most. People like you as much for your creativity as they do for your desire to day drink under an afghan and watch Snapped marathons with your bestie.
LEO
July 23 - August 22
LOOK WHAT I CAN DO! BUT LET’S GET BACK TO ME DID SOMEONE SAY JELLO SHOTS? LEOS HAVE THE MOST STALKERS EVEN YOUR MOM LOVES ME SPOON-FEED ME COMPLIMENTS MY AURA SHOOTS RAINBOWS & GLITTER
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): HELLO GORGEOUS
Back:
You are extremely charismatic and irresistible to most everyone you meet. You are generally the only person in the room who counts—and you know it. It’s not your fault you were born for such greatness. People like you almost as much as you like you.
ASTROLOGY PENCILS BEST SELLERS
VIRGO
August 23 - September 22
I COUGHED NOW I’M DEAD LIST-MAKING PENCIL
LET ME OVERTHINK THAT THAT TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF ME I EXCEL IN RANDOM WORST-CASE SCENARIOS
SCHEDULING AN IMPROMPTU PARTY! VIRGOS FOLD TOWELS PERFECTLY
Selfie Pencil (Backwards):
NOBODY’S PERFECT (EXCEPT VIRGOS)
Back:
You are cautious and careful when sober, and tend to only let loose during pre-planned events. You have a firm grasp on the number of drinks both you and anyone else has ever had, and prefer to be in charge of the designated driver list. People like you because you look like a sexy professor and always have all the answers.
SCORPIO
October 23 - November 21
CHECKMATE. WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?
REVENGE IS BEST SERVED CONSTANTLY
TWIRLING MY INVISIBLE MOUSTACHE EVIL MASTERMIND BEST FRENEMIES FOREVER PROFESSIONAL STALKER
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): FIERCE AF
Back:
You are passionate and fierce and do not suffer fools gladly. You have the ambiance and appeal of a leather-clad supervillain and tend to keep your own entourage in tow. People like you because you always have the best ideas for revenge.
LIBRA
September 23 - October 22
THANKS FOR NOTHING
I’M SORRY I SAY SORRY ALL THE TIME I’M DATING SOMEONE BUT WE CAN TEXT IT’S NO PROBLEM!!!!
EASILY DISTRACTED... WHY CAN’T WE ALL GET ALONG? PRETTY PETTY, BUT STILL PRETTY Selfie Pencil (Backwards): ADORABLE AF
Back:
You’re a lover of art and all things beautiful and intellectual. That’s why you always date hotties with graduate degrees. Not one to enjoy alone time, you are at your best when in a solid relationship, or at least a decent one-night stand. People like you because you tend to agree with everything.
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 - December 21
I EXIST, THEREFORE TACOS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO LIVE IN A TENT LOL WHY R U SO SERIOUS?
I NEED TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE I DON’T DO FAKE
RANDOM THOUGHTS SQUAD
Selfie Pencil (Backwards): MENTALLY SINGLE
Back:
You are wild and free and enjoy traveling to the far ends of the earth with your band of merry mischief- makers. Not one for long-term goals or commitments, you tend to disappear in the middle of the night for spur-of-the-moment road trips. People like you because you always have the good party favors.
ASTROLOGY PENCIL PACK
All 12 astrology pencii styles (4 pencils each style).
FREE DISPLAY!
ASTROLOGY PRE-PACKS
ASTROLOGY SOAP PACK
All 12 astrology soap styles (4 soaps each style).
FREE DISPLAY! PENCIL DISPLAY
ASTROLOGY CANDLE PACK
All 12 astrology candle styles (3 candles each style). ORDER
More Astrology!
And it doesn't stop there! See the rest of our Astrology Line on our website. We've got birthday cards with a whole week of tear-off "affirmations" for each sign, cute and colorful air fresheners, and safety matches in elegant glass jars to go with our astrology candles.
MADE IN THE USA
Original Soaps:
Handmade vegan soaps designed by our inhouse soap artisans with fragrance blends to match each concept. Shrinkwrapped with a kraft brown label. Soap size: 3 1/2” H x 2 3/4” W x 1” D. Sold in 4-packs.
Original Candles:
Always hand-poured and made with 100% soy wax and 0% bullshit. Fragrance blends match each concept and corresponding soap. 4” diameter x 2 1/2” H. Burn time: 60 hours. Sold in 3-packs.
NEW STYLES Hu r r ay!
HOW TO SPOT A GAMER
SHEET CAKE SCENT
D Participation award
D Cringey wall portrait
D Congrats, suck-up
ENERGY DRINK SCENT
D I can’t just “pause”
D About to level up
D Who needs sleep?
SOAP EMP-S
SOAP GAM-S
CANDLE EMP -C
CANDLE GAM-C
This shit i s bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
D Fires
D Earthquakes
D Aliens
SOAP BAN-S
CANDLE BAN-C
BANANAS FOSTER SCENT
GRAMMY’S SECRET RECIPE
D Cheering squad
D Hugs
D Money
Help me, I don’t know stuff
D Math is hard
D Do my taxes, pwetty pwease?
D And pump my gas?
CANDLE WID-C
APPLE JUICE SCENT
MY FAVORITE PEOPLE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE
CANDLE MFP-C
CANDLE
HOME SWEET HOME
The smel l o f freedom The smel l o f freedom
COU-C BUTTERED BISCUIT SCENT D Rootin’ D Tootin’ D ‘Merica
FRESH AIR SCENT
D Better off alone
D Really.
D Have you seen Tinder?
CANDLE SOL-C
SOAP COU-S
CANDLE
Best mom in the world
D Free food
D Good advice
D You’re just jealous
Soap & Candles Best Sellers Packs
soap best Sellers 12-Pack
Comes with 12 best sellers (4 soaps each) for a total of 48 soaps, plus a FREE display on your first order!
BESTIES
COOL AUNT
DOG PEOPLE
CAT PEOPLE
FAVORITE CHILD
CALM THE F DOWN
TROPHY HUSBAND
MIDDLE CHILD
MOM BRAIN
DAD BODS
FUN UNCLE
FAVORITE TEACHER
BESTSELLER-S12
edgy soap 6-Pack
Comes with 6 best sellers (4 soaps each) for a total of 24 soaps.
CRAZY BITCHES
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK STONERS
FUCKING MEETINGS
BOUGIE BITCHES
ZERO FUCKS
BESTSELLER-SOAP6
Shop the Best Seller Pre-Packs
candles best Sellers 8-Pack
Comes with 8 best sellers (3 candles each) for a total of 24 candles.
COOL AUNT
BESTIES
DOG PEOPLE
CAT PEOPLE
FAVORITE CHILD
CALM THE F DOWN
MOM BRAIN
MIDDLE CHILD
BESTSELLER-DUO8
edgy candles 6-Pack
Comes with 6 best sellers (3 candles each) for a total of 18 candles.
CRAZY BITCHES
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK STONERS
FUCKING MEETINGS
BOUGIE BITCHES
ZERO FUCKS
BESTSELLER-DUO6
SOAP DISPLAY FREE when you fill it with 12 soap styles!
SANTAL 99 SCENT
D #97: My ex
D #98: My boss
D #99: Me? Nah...
LEAVE ME ALONE TEA SCENT
D Do not disturb
D Don't even text
D Drop by and die
ABSENT AMBER SCENT
D Sorry I'm so late
D I had a... thing
D ...and now I have to go, sorry!
TRENDY TERRARIUM SCENT
D A fresh start!
D A clean slate!
D It'll be a mess in no time
FRESH FARM SCENT
D 3 cats
D 2 dogs
D 1 zebra?
GRAPE HARD SELTZER SCENT
D No one else gets us
D Who cares
D Support your local girl gang
BOSSSY BOUQUET SCENT
D Near perfection
D Knows everything
D And a little bossy
SAD BIRTHDAY CAKE SCENT
D I never get carded anymore
D And I'm STILL 21. Pinky swear
D Will you stop counting already?
SOAP BSI-S
CANDLE BSI-C
SOAP 99P-S
SOAP ALW-S
SOAP ALO-S
SOAP ANE-S
SOAP ANI-S
SOAP BIR-S
CANDLE 99P-C
CANDLE ALW-C
CANDLE ALO-C
CANDLE ANE-C
CANDLE ANI-C
CANDLE BIR-C
CANDLE
PINK
D You shouldn't have...
D No really...
D No. Really.
LIBRARY WATER SCENT
D Eliminates other people
D Intensifies imaginary worlds
D Loves words, too
D Organic everything
D Designer everything
D But also some Target
D Live
D Laugh
D Haha,
WARM MILK SCENT
D My cat has an instagram
D Lint rollers in the car
D Dog people suck
JUICY GOSSIP SCENT
D Your mom wasn't always lame
D Here's 20 bucks
D Wanna sip?
FREE CANDY SCENT
D Office pranks
D Casual attitude
D Not a damn tyrant
D Mountain bike
D Designer hoodies
D Probably hot
SOAP AUN-S
CANDLE AUN-C
SOAP CAT-S
CANDLE CAT-C
SOAP CAL-S
CANDLE CAL-C
RAIN STICK SCENT
fuck that
SOAP BOU-S
CANDLE BOU-C
ALMOST LOUIS VUITTON SCENT
SOAP BYH-S
CANDLE BYH-C
MOCKTAIL SCENT
SOAP BKH-S
CANDLE BKH-C
SOAP COO-S
CANDLE COO-C
CUSTOM BEARD OIL SCENT
SOAP BOS-S
CANDLE BOS-C
SALTY MELONS SCENT
D Admit it
D Shit is boring without us
D Facts.
"SPIRITUAL" INCENSE SCENT
D South African Rhodocrosite
D Paraiba Tourmaline
D Can't pay rent
TOASTED MARSHMALLOW SCENT
D Pairs well with couch time
D Builds unwavering confidence
D Bring me another beer
MOJITO SCENT
D Pairs well with daytime TV
D Helps pass the time
D Seamless segue into nighttime drinking
GRAASSY DOG PARK SCENT
D Drawer of embarassing costumes
D Wet chew toys everywhere
D Cat people are freaks
KINDER KIWI SCENT
D I shouldn't
D Have
D To say this
BETTER CLOTHES SCENT
D No.
D I definitely didn't buy myself this.
D You're just jealous!
D Cooler
D Funnier
D And that "A"
SCENT
SOAP DOG-S
CANDLE DOG-C
SOAP DBD-S
CANDLE DBD-C
SOAP DAD-S
SOAP CRS-S
SOAP DAY-S
SOAP FAC-S
SOAP FTE-S
CANDLE DAD-C
CANDLE CRS-C
CANDLE DAY-C
CANDLE FAC-C
CANDLE FTE-C
SOAP BIT-S
CANDLE BIT-C
COOL CUCUMBER
BRAND-NEW EVERYTHING SCENT
D Reduces parental pressure
D Keeps younger siblings out of your stuff
D Is practically perfect, too
BOURON IN MY COFFEE SCENT
D Per.
D My.
D Last email.
GARDEN OF EDEN SCENT
D Beautiful begonias
D Perfect peonies
D Gorgeous gardenias
ZOMBIE COCKTAIL SCENT
D A strong one
D And another one after that
D Hurry up!
COOL CUCUMBER SCENT
D Mindful shit
D Some fucking meditation
D Probably a nap
BLACK ICE SCENT
D Illegal fireworks
D Red Bull
D Don't tell your parents
FRUIT CUP SCENT
D Grapes & olives
D Cheese & crackers
D Chardonnay & Sprite
D Your/you're
D Their/there/they're
D Things I've just learned since Facebook
SOAP FIC-S
SOAP ZEN-S
SOAP FME-S
SOAP UNC-S
CANDLE FIC-C
CANDLE ZEN-C
CANDLE FME-C
CANDLE UNC-C
SOAP GRL-S
SOAP GMD-S
SOAP GRA-S
CANDLE GRL-C
CANDLE GMD-C
CANDLE GRA-C
SOAP GAR-S
CANDLE GAR-C
JELLY DOUGHNUT SCENT
SUNNY D SCENT
D Hoping for the best
D Expecting the worst
D (Life) balance
TIE DYE DREAMS SCENT
D Promotes long hair
D Inspires jewelry making
D Has festival tickets
BLUE RASPBERRY JELLO SCENT
D Great solo activity
D Respects your space
D Won't ask you to an event
FRESH FRUIT SCENT
D Cute joggers
D Playground chic
D DILF approved
SELLER BEST SELLER
PLAIN TAP WATER SCENT
D Whatever
D I'm not mad
D It's fine
GUM-SMACKING COWORKER SCENT
D Wake me up on Thursday
D I'm already four coffees in
D Yawn.
D Always warm
D Always giving
D Facebook fanatic BEST
ORANGE YOU GLAD SCENT
D Are YOU my mom?
SPIKY HAIR STYLE SCENT
D Stable genius
D Blacklisted from Trader Joe's
SOAP ISH-S
SOAP HMO-S
SOAP HCX-S
SOAP HUG-S
SOAP
SOAP KRN-S
CANDLE ISH-C
CANDLE HMO-C
CANDLE HCX-C
CANDLE HUG-C
CANDLE INT-C
CANDLE FRI-C
CANDLE
CANDLE KRN-C
LAUGHING BUDDHA SCENT
D Ha.
D Ha.
D Ha.
NEGRONI ON ICE SCENT
D VIP scent
D Attracts attention
D As awesome as you
BOXED WINE SCENT
D Work.
D Eat.
D Sleep. Repeat.
YOU'RE A PEACH SCENT
D To raise you better
D To steer you right
D Hey, she tried
MORE NYQUIL SCENT
D Probably dying
D Tell mom I love her
D Where's my soup
CANDLE FLU-C
BLIZZARD CAMPFIRE SCENT
D Good for bear wrasslin'
D Doesn't talk much either
DWill drink you under the hand-hewn table
PURPLE HAZE (GRAPE) SCENT
D Magnifies misery
D Your sister's wedding was just beautiful
D Who are you again?
SINGING THE BLUES SCENT
D Where are you?
D I need you!
D Jeez, I sound desperate
SOAP FLU-S
SOAP KAR-S
SOAP LTD-S
SOAP KBD-S
SOAP TRY-S
SOAP MID-S
SOAP MAN-S
SOAP MIY-S
CANDLE KAR-C
CANDLE LTD-C
CANDLE KBD-C
CANDLE TRY-C
CANDLE MID-C
CANDLE MAN-C
CANDLE MIY-C
SOGGY CHEERIOS SCENT
D Pants on backwards
D Car keys in the fridge
D Baby in the oven
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN SCENT
D Need
D More
D Cowbell
BEARD OIL SCENT
D The "hot guy"
D Now promoted to:
D D.I.L.F. status
DRY SHAMPOO SCENT
D My spirit animal
D Always there for me
D Don't judge
SIPPY CUP WINE SCENT
D Pairs well with nap time
D Is also tired of perfect moms
D Your kids love you anyway
FERMENTED GRAPES SCENT
D Deep dark secrets
D Mob-level loyalty
D Mental telepathy
CORN ON THE COB SCENT
D O-H!
D ... I-O!
D Mating calls?
RAY OF SUNSHINE SCENT
D You is smart
D You is kind
D You is important
SOAP MOM-S
SOAP MBD-S
SOAP MCO-S
SOAP MBL-S
SOAP OKA-S
SOAP OHI-S
SOAP OLF-S
SOAP POV-S
CANDLE MOM-C
CANDLE MBD-C
CANDLE MCO-C
CANDLE MBL-C
CANDLE OKA-C
CANDLE OHI-C
CANDLE OLF-C
CANDLE POV-C
PATCHOULI INCENSE SCENT
D I was thinking...
D About
D Something...
UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE SCENT
D Frequent sleepovers
D Zoom "happy hour"
D Weekend trips to "Vegas"
BIG RED SCENT
D Raging jealousy
D In-between jobs
D No teeth
FIREBALL SHOTS SCENT
D I did what?
D So THAT'S how I got that bruise
D It was fun, thought, right?
JELL-O SHOTS SCENT
D 20% scary
D Always exciting
D 35% scarier after cocktails
VODKA VITAMIN WATER SCENT
D I have Ebola
D My hamster ran away
D I just found out I'm a hologram
BITTERS & SODA SCENT
D Pairs well with vitriol
D Washes away empathy
D Is passive-aggressive, too
D Prolly a harmonica
D And a tall hat
D Riding a unicycle
SOAP PRS-S
SOAP RFL-S
SOAP PSW-S
SOAP SHI-S
SOAP SLI-S
SOAP SPI-S
SOAP SOC-S
SOAP STW-S
CANDLE PRS-C
CANDLE RFL-C
CANDLE PSW-C
CANDLE SHI-C
CANDLE SLI-C
CANDLE SPI-C
CANDLE
CANDLE STW-C
RASPBERRY BERET SCENT
CANNABIS SCENT
D Gateway soap
D Antagonizes DEA
D Approved for medicinal purposes
POISONED APPLE SCENT
D IDK, CAN you go to the bathroom?
D Don't you dare say "Wikipedia"
D I just realized I don't even like kids
BENGAY SCENT
D Increases apathy
D Enhances wall staring
D Perfect for napping
TRICKED-OUT PORSCHE SCENT
D Looks good on your arm
D Looks good in anything... or nothing
D Jealous much?
BLUE SKIES SCENT
D Stay strong
D Keep fighting
D We got your back
PRICKLY PEAR SCENT
D What the
D Fucking
D Fuck
CREAMSICLE SCENT
D Tired
D Of
D It
SOAP STO-S
SOAP TOO-S
SOAP TEA-S
SOAP TRO-S
SOAP TSU-S SOAP ZER-S SOAP WTF-S
CANDLE STO-C
CANDLE TOO-C
CANDLE TEA-C
CANDLE TRO-C
CANDLE TSU-C
CANDLE ZER-C
CANDLE WTF-C
Who the heck is Whiskey River Soap?
Believe it or not, Whiskey River Soap was founded over 14 million years ago... Okay, you got me. That’s a lie. Actually, I started Whiskey River Soap in my kitchen a little more than 10 years ago. As a former graphic designer of magazines, advertising, websites, catalogs, and films for clients, I wanted to start making my OWN bad decisions (and products). So, I gambled on an idea I had to make humorous soaps. I checked books out of the library, taught myself how to make soap, and now here I am. Ten years later still doing what I love. Now both of my sons work for me, and the really cool pics you see in this catalog are all done by my older son Zane and his girlfriend Nikki. They’re both LA filmmakers, which is why we decided to make this catalog an homage to the brilliant Wes Anderson. Cheers!
Tabitha
OUR TEAM: Whiskey River Soap is made up of a small team of lovable misfits who all work together seamlessly, creating the products you love.
Terms & Conditions
ORDER MINIMUMS:
Opening order: $200
Re-orders: $150
PAYMENT TERMS:
New accounts: Prepaid via check, money order, cash, or credit card.
Established accounts: Net 30 upon approval. Credit references must be submitted at time of request.
CONDITIONS OF CREDIT:
All orders must be paid no later than 30 days from date shipped. A credit limit will be placed on your account. If your account exceeds this limit, pre-payment may be required. Customer shall pay Whiskey River Soap Company all costs, expenses, legal and collection fees as incurred in enforcing the terms and conditions as allowed by law. Whiskey River Soap Company reserves the right to revoke credit terms after 3 late payments.
PAYMENT:
Company check, money order, cash, credit card, PayPal, or ACH bank transfers.
CANCELLATIONS:
Orders may be canceled at any time. For orders already completed and ready to ship at the time of cancellation, a 25% restocking fee will be charged.
SHIPPING:
Domestic orders shipped via UPS Ground unless otherwise specified.
Fantasy Destination Jigsaw Puzzles are excluded from free or discounted freight promotions. Freight charges will be determined at time of shipping and will be added to each invoice. All domestic freight charges are capped at 15% of the wholesale order total. All shipments will be charged the actual freight cost of the order(s). Rates and service subject to change at any time at the sole discretion of Whiskey River Soap Company.
CLAIMS:
Any claims for damaged or mis-shipped items must be made within 7 days of receipt of merchandise by notifying your sales rep. Claims must be supported with photos of product, tracking number, and outer carton.
RETURNS:
Returns are not accepted for any merchandise unless items are damaged or mis-shipped. For damaged or mis-shipped items, a return authorization number is required and must appear on all related correspondence. All returned merchandise must be received within 30 days of receipt of merchandise and be in 100% resalable condition for credit. A 25% restocking fee will be deducted for items received in poor condition and/or received beyond the 30-day return window. Return freight is the responsibility of the customer and must be prepaid by the customer, except in case of mis-shipped merchandise.
PRICING:
All prices are subject to the real object and may change without notice. This catalog and corresponding order form’s pricing supersedes all others. Current prices are effective from January 1, 2025.
A NOTE ABOUT OUR PRODUCTS:
Soap and candles are perishable. Treat them as you would chocolate or a wounded kitten. They must be stored in cool, dry conditions to maintain optimum shelf life. Do not place products in direct sunlight or leave in warm, humid environments like a hot car or a Brazilian discotheque. All our soaps and candles are handmade, so no two look exactly alike. Expect some deviation.
INGREDIENTS:
Some of our soaps contain a few extras, like glitter. The basic ingredients (printed on each label) are: coconut oil, palm oil, safflower oil, glycerine, purified water, sodium hydroxide, sorbitol, sorbitan oleate, soy bean protein, coloring, and fragrance.
