X-Pat Expert - Mackinder

Adrian Mackinder Mackinder in DK

The struggles of becoming a bilingual family in Copenhagen.

“Others say I’m arrogant. How dare I come over here and not speak the language? I’m not arrogant I’m just honest and realistic.”

@adrian_mackinder

Adrian is a part time actor, author, comic book fan and father of two.

Breaking bad barriers, expat style.

Iwrote before about my struggle learning Danish. Well, I had an epiphany the other day that reduced my stress levels no end:

I am no longer going to feel guilty about the fact I still don’t speak Danish. I’m going to let it go.

Some people say to me I should speak Danish. Like it’s an easy task. Like it’s not a hard language to learn. Well it is. It really is. I mean, there’s a reason it never caught on. I work full time, I perform in the evenings, I’m writing my second book and we’re raising two tiny kids. I’m not going to dedicate what precious little down time I have to myself by sitting in a classroom of an evening learning Danish. I’m too tired.

Other people say to me that the fact I don’t speak Danish is disrespectful. I’ll tell you what else is disrespectful. Trying to make me do something I don’t have the time, money or inclination to do right now, just to make you feel a little more comfortable. Me not speaking Danish is not going to undermine Danish culture, tradition and heritage. I’m polite and courteous to others, I work hard, I obey the law. I pay my taxes and I love my friends and family. I’m just trying to get through the damn day.

And if you’re not comfortable speaking English? Well that’s fine. I’ll meet you halfway. We can still converse. Because I guarantee your English will always be better than my Danish.

Others say to me I’m arrogant. How dare I come over here and not speak the language? I’m not arrogant. I’m just honest and realistic. I do understand some expats here feel they should learn Danish. They see themselves as guests in this country.

Well here’s a hot take. You’re not a guest. Anywhere. You come here legally and pay your taxes? You’ve got as much right to be here as any Dane. And you have the right to conduct yourself in a way that gets you through the damn day!

I’m not patriotic. As you can tell. Take my own country. There are things I love about Britain. There are things I’m not so keen on - especially right now. Britain has a great pub culture, wonderful social inclusivity based on humour. Never thought I’d miss small talk with shop assistants, but over here, no one talks to anyone! It’s odd, and strangely alienating.

But I loathe nationalism. It’s dangerous, it’s divisive and it’s destructive. I don’t care where you’re from. Just be kind, be generous of spirit, and be open to others’ differences. That’s enough surely? We don’t all need to be waving a flag.

I love being a part of the expat community. Because here, we interact with people from all over the world, bringing with us a veritable multiverse of culture, history, customs and experience. Denmark is a monoculture. The expats bring diversity. They bring vibrancy. This is not a ghetto, it’s a wonderful rainbow of inclusivity, splattering colour over all over the place. I’m proud to call myself an expat. And if you’re reading this and are in the same situation, so should you.