8675309 Jenny’s Style Then And Now
Confessions: I’m A LIAR Shit my Sister’s doing
LADY LOOK GOOD Mother Knows Best-
Shut Up And Photoshop Yourself Already! Operation Beauty- Three Must Haves For 2013 ‘Always Yours, Jean...
Let’s Talk About Your Drinking Over Cocktails!
The Thing isâ€Ś There is still this 17 year-old girl. Even though she was very outspoken she still lost her voice sometimes.. That still lives inside my Throat. I still feel her. She is like a little pill not completely swallowed. Stuck somewhere between my tonsils and the very back of my Throat. And even after so many years she still has that something That she needs to say. No matter how many times there is That moment when I find an ear that is willing to listen to her speak her peace, it's just not felt. Probably because it's for the personâ€™s ears that she had originally lost her voice around and to, and not for the therapist friend mother sister brother bartender barista who she was sharing it with. This is why I've started this magazine. Because I'm ready to really speak, and sometimes it's going to be raw and weird, or super girly, or murky and starchy, but at least I'm Talking, and maybe it will inspire you To get out There and speak Too... T..xo
some recurring and some just visiting
Editor at Large Tiffany Lowry Associate Publisher/Editor Darcy Camden Features Editor/Director Libuse Binder Brand Development LoveJoy Design House Photographer Rosemary Wagner Featured Photographers Jami Davis Chantal Andrea
Beauty Page Director Jenny Bowker Featured Fashion Editors Rosie Bowker Sherri Garcia WTF Contributors Ashley Stineback, Becky Ireland, Sheli Kersten, Heidi Cartmel, Tes de Luna, Caitlin King, Carol Lin, Libuse Binder, Jenny Marsh,Susan Grace
Stay Tuned.... WTFashion next Issue March/April Follow Us!! Twitter -@WTFashionMag FaceBook-WhatTheFashionMagazine
Cover: Photographer: Chantal Andrea Fashion Editor: Rosie Bowker Hair/Makeup: Jenny Bowker Model: Kayla Washburn at SMG content pg.45
Thank you for reading- Enjoy!! T...xo
Shut Up And Photoshop Yourself Already!..Pg.4 Operation Beauty- Three Must Haves For 2013...Pg.8
8675309 Jenny’s Style Then And Now...Pg.36
‘Always Yours, Jean...Pg.41
Confessions: I’m A LIAR ...Pg.
Shit my Sister’s doing...Pg.7
Among Other Things... Pg.19
Mother Knows Best-...Pg.56 LADY LOOK GOOD...pg.38 Vignettes by Tes...Pg.39
Let’s Talk About Your Drinking Over Cocktails!.. Pg.34
Shut up and Photoshop Yourself Already! The thrill I get from a photo shoot is as hot as the blue flames of a fire. My next favorite thing is sitting down with my photographer and sorting through the thousands of pictures she took that day and Photoshopping the CRAP out of them. Whiter, brighter eyes and teeth—check. Creamier skin—check. Fill in patchy hair spots, draw in waist and double chin, remove awkward wrists or hands, smooth face texture, pop the brights up….it’s all so EXCITING! So here's the deal Haters, Feminists, and Women that are furious about beautiful women, and then furious about technology making them even more perfect. Do you watch movies? Read books? Dream? Fantasize? Then get over it, run to the nearest computer, and Photoshop yourself already! Since I first opened my Bonnie Bell cherry chapstick at the age of two, I knew that nothing could help me feel more beautiful than that little stick of waxy goodness. I've now been successfully working in the beauty industry for 15 years, helping my clients feel pretty. Over and over again, I sit clients in my chair—women and men enduring divorce, parenthood, death, love, engagement, marriage, sex change operations, TV, movie, and video appearances. And you know what?? Even if you look like the real version of a Photoshopped picture of perfection, nothing will help you see your beauty in the mirror if you cannot feel it yourself. Self-esteem is a feeling, and you either have it, don't have it, or are intensely working on it—but none of this is Photoshop's fault. Self-esteem is very important, and if your mother/mother-stand-in didn't teach you about how to maintain it yourself, or you’ve gone through something traumatic to pull it down (and if that’s the case, I’m truly sorry), I hope you are working on it in therapy.
I have my Bad days—Bad hair days, Bad face days, Bad child-rearing days, Bad wife days, Bad career days, and I just figure out how to pick myself back up because I love myself. This is where self-esteem comes in. If you are treating yourself well, if you are valuing yourself, asking and helping others to value you, and not doing things that make you feel badly about yourself— guess what? You could give a shit if that (beautiful) person was Photoshopped, and then maybe you will see what the magazines are trying to do—they are trying to INSPIRE you. And even if you aren't the first to run to your couture store of choice and buy the bright-ass yellow, completely feathered frock to wear while dropping your toddler off at pre-k before heading to your 9-to-5, you might not turn flinch at the yellow T-shirt with a textured, feather decal (that you may or may not tuck into your Jeggings). And what happened to, "You go girl with your HOT self!?" Why, oh why, ladies, are we still hating on ladies? And if you look at the whole picture as intended and don't pick it apart with your own insecurities, then you too will see the beauty in the picture (both form and feeling) and draw from it for yourself. This is where you have the opportunity to be selfish, thinking only about yourself and what would best suit you, even if it's just a lip gloss color. If there is a magazine/picture that doesn't make you feel good, either 1: think about why (refer back to the self-esteem portion) or 2: this particular product may not be for you. Remember that the artists who create these images are eclectic and unique, and they see their creation in an unreal (or perhaps real) way. More importantly, remember that love and self esteem aren’t ever found on a screen. What you can always find on a screen is outer beauty. With digital technology, one can snap 1000 pictures on their phone, delete down to the best one, upload it in Photoshop or Instagram, clean up a zit here, redness here, or a dark circle there, and ta-da(!), it’s a new, beautiful “Reality” full of technological abundance!
So for the love of _______Go Photoshop yourself already! Sincerely, The Best Friend You Never Had
Shit My Sisters’ Doing Pregnancy It is one of those things that you will not understand until you is have experienced It. What a long trip It is. I am not here to tell you about my birthing story. Trust me, there are already plenty out there. I am here to remind you that although you can’t see it because of your protruding stomach, when it’s your turn to spread eagle and bring that little one into the world, you will want to make sure you sugar! One thing that you lose when you’re stuck in the hospital bed numb from the waist down is your inhibitions. Towards the end of the 3rd trimester things grow large, tasks become nearly impossible, and you slowly stop caring. I did. I could not see beyond my stomach to shave, even my legs. I didn’t use the 25 pounds gained as an excuse to stop exercising, so I chose not to use It as an excuse to let It all grow out. The area between your legs is the star of the show, It’s where all the action happens, and everyone is going to poke, inspect, and stare at It for hours. It needs to be tended to. I have talked to some who said that towards the end the skin can become sensitive, and I know someone who actually walked out on a waxing session after one strip was removed. I’ve never had anything waxed because I’ve always sugared. It’s an all-natural way to remove something that Mother Nature gave ya, and it hurts much less than waxing. I got sugared six weeks before show time. If I had known then what I know now I would have spaced it a bit better and went in the day of to make sure the grooming lasted through recovery. Lesson learned. Now I just need to wait for the stitches to dissolve so I can go again! If you are in the Seattle area and looking for a great sugaring session, look up Smooth Sugaring Studio located in Madison Park or Greenlake. Trust me, you will thank yourself for taking care of the situation before the first contraction starts!
SUG.AR.ING: /ˈSHo͝ogəәriNG/ Noun The boiling down of maple sap until it thickens into syrup or crystallizes into sugar. TIP
Sugaring is an ancient middle-eastern practice that uses an all natural honey like paste with only sugar, water and lemon juice to remove the hair follicle from the root. Less painful than waxing because your sugar adheres to the hair, not the skin as the water hydrates the follicle and extracts only the hair using only gloves, and one piece of sugar paste, it is sanitary and easily disposable- No strips, sticks or double dipping! Over time with consistent sugaring, hair starts to refine and diminish as the follicle dies out.
2013 Top Three Operation Beauty.....................................
Foundation 1. YSL: Le Teint Touche Eclait illuminating SPF19($55) 2. Make Up Forever HD: Invisible Cover($42) 3. Aveda: Inner Light Tinted Moisturizer SPF15($30)
Concealer 1. Laura Mercier: Secret Camouflage($30) 2. Make Up Forever HD: Invisible Cover Concealer($29) 3. Shiseido: Natural Finish Cream($25)
Blush 1. MAC: “Clearly Pink” powder blush($20) 2. Nars: “Orgasm” cult classic($28) 3. YSL: “#5” creme de blush($38)
Cheek Highlighter 1. Urban Decay: “Wicked” cream highlight($24) 2. Benefit: “Watt’s Up” soft focus highlighter($30) 3. Nars: “Malaysia” cheek bronzer stick($38)
False Eyelashes 1. Eylure: “..Oh,Honey (Day to Evening)” Katy Perry($6.99) 2. Ardell: “Medium single flare” duralash ($3.99) 3. MAC: “#27” False Lashes($16) Honorable mention- PaperSelf PaperLashes Just for the Fun Factor!($9) Tip: once you apply the glue on the false lash, let dry for about 30 seconds. This will help the lash not slip and slide off your lid: Use Glue Duo in Dark tone($5.99)
Mascara 1. Lancome: “Black #1” Hypnose Star($28) 2. YSL: “Burgundy” #5” Faux Cils($30) 3. CoverGirl: “Black #1”Lash Blast($8.99)
Lipstick 1. YSL: “#151” Rouge Pure Couture($32) 2. Clinique: “Lovely Honey” Almost Lipstick($15) 3. MAC: “MOXIE” Matte($23)
Lip Gloss 1. Bite Beauty: “PROSECCO “ Lip Shine($20) 2. Korres: “Cherry” Oil Lip Gloss($17) 3. Dior: “SARI PINK #576” Addict Ultra Gloss($28)
Liptint 1. Benefit: “Rose” Tinted lip and cheek Benetint($29) 2. Fresh: “Rose” SPF 15 lip treatment($22.50) 3. Givenchy: “Orange Glow”Moisturizing lip & cheek($31)
Nails 1. Julep: “Audrey” Nail polish ($14) 2. OPI: “I’m Not Really a waitress” Nail polish($8) 3. Ciate’: “Textures and Finishes” Nail sets ($25)
Hair Product 1. Davines: “Crystal fixative” Hair spray (25) 2. Davines: “Sea Salt spray”(For bed head) 3. Burt’s Bees GUD: “Orange Petalooza” Shampoo and conditioner
Glowing Skin Face: Laura Mercier â€œShimmer Blockâ€?($38) Shimmer
Body: Benefit - Bathina Beauty Balm($28)
Photographer: Rosemary Wagner rosemaryphotography.com Model: Anna Bell Creative Direction: Tiffany Colors Tiffanycolors.com
How to Match a Foundation Color to Your Skin The absolute best way to match your skin tone is in a department store. Have a cosmetics rep swipe the liquid foundation onto your jawline, grab a mirror, and head outside to see if it blends into your skin (the best light is natural). You can also do an elimination test by swiping the three that best match your skin tone next to one another on your jaw line. The one to choose is the one that almost disappears into your skin. Take a photo and see how the foundation blends into your face and neck, too. You can also ask to bring home a sample and wear it for a day or two to see what matches best. If a department store doesn't fit your budget, head to a drugstore and ask if there are product testers and do your own swipe test. If not, grab a hand mirror and hold the sealed product up to your chin and see how close you can match. In either scenario, it is important to know if you have a warm (gold) or cool (silver) undertone. Hold something gold and something silver up to your face. Do either of these colors look better? Another way to find out is by turning over your wrist. Do you see more blue/red tones or more yellow/green tones? Blue/red puts you in cool tones and yellow/green puts you in warm tones. Some foundation labels will say whether or not their product is for cool or warm tones. Never EVER, absolutely NEVER pick a darker shade because you want to be tanner. You will not be fooling anyone. You will just look orange: The line on your jaw is actually slowly but surely KILLING me, and your neck, arms, and legs are a totally different color! The best way to fool anyone with a tan is to use sunless tanner or to have a perfect match foundation and then use a bronzing powder to warm up/deepen your skin tone. I Love Olayâ€™s sunless tanners or Benefit makes a great powder bronzer called Hoola.
Tip: Know What You Want Do you want light, medium, or full coverage? Do you want an SPF? Is your skin oily, dry, or combination? Also, there are antiaging, illuminating, and smoothing foundations. Knowing what you want will help you choose the right coverage for YOU!
Swipe 3 foundations on your jaw line to see what one is closest to your skin tone. Here itâ€™s the Middle
I'm Sheli, and I'm your Hair-A-Pist. Let me help you get the most out of your hair and salon experiences. So bring it on! Send me your questions, and let’s have a good hair day… Every day. WhatTheFashionmagazine@gmail.com Subject: Hair-A-Pist
1.What is the Best way to approach a style change with my hair stylist? Establish your boundaries. Do not come in and say, "If you could do anything to my hair, what would you do?" or “Just do whatever you want to do.” You don't really mean it.... Really! Here is my checklist when considering changing your look: 1. Establish a range of length you are comfortable with 2. Invest in product to finish your new look 3. Be open to new tools to create your look. (use a blow dryer – I promise it's not a big deal!) 4. Bring pictures in for a visual of what you like 5. Knowing what you want is just as important as knowing what you don't want. 2.Why can my stylist never get my hair to look like the celebrity picture I bring in? Is it really surprising to you that you don’t look like a celebrity with a team of people making you up everyday? A lot of pictures you see have many enhancements; extensions, professional styling, lighting, several takes, and then the best one is frozen into an image of a beautiful, powerful person. When you are looking at a celebrity picture, you are seeing an image of a person, including makeup and clothing. What we can do is be inspired by a celebrity picture and make it your own. I use celebrity hairstyles all the time as inspiration. Be realistic about your expectations, and remember that You will be doing your hair every day. We are all are own unique selves with our own beauty. Be You. 3.Can I grow my thin hair out long? Sure! Keep in mind that most of the time long, thin hair just looks thinner. Keep layers long or don’t layer to keep it looking thicker, and no matter the length, good shampoo and conditioner is a must. If you grow it out and your hair starts to look bad and lifeless, abort mission and get it cut. 4. I'm taking medication - do I need to tell my stylist? Does it really affect my color? Yes, Medication can affect your color. Don't be surprised if your hair color can have a different outcome than when you were off medications. Remember most hair color is correctable so don't freak out. It's not akin to a bad haircut that can't be glued back on! 5. Bangs.. To Do..or Not To Do?? Why Not Bangs? Bangs are a great way to create a focal point for a hairstyle. A Few things to consider before you jump off the cliff into Bangland: 1.You might need longer bangs to accommodate your hair line: Your forehead length IS a factor 2.You need to commit to bang trims 3. Don’t do wimpy wispy bangs. If you’er going into bangland,jump off the cliff!
TIP Hairspray is not a one size fits all product. There are 2 big things with hairspray. Hold Aerosol or Non Aerosol applications. A light hold aerosol is good for: Building stye,heat styling,boosting style Heavy hold aerosol is good for: Finishing updos,building up volume,smoothing flyways Sticky non aerosol is good for: Punky styles,pumping up roots,scrunching curls
Q? Is there a product that I can add to my routine for the winter that will keep my skin better moisturized and glowing? A. So glad you asked! It always pains me to see scaly winter faces struggling through the cold winter months. You can moisturize all day long but unless your skin is properly exfoliated, those creams are just sitting on the surface. My go-to solution for seasonally sad skin is dermalogicaâ€™s daily microfoliant. I. Love. This. Product. Gentle enough for the most sensitive of skin types, this daily resurfacer will slough off the dead layers revealing a rosy, glowing complexion. Now that the barrier of dehydrated skin is gone, your serum and moisturizer can penetrate into the deeper layers of your tissue. Ta-da! Supple winter visage achieved!
Peace and wear sunscreen...Susan suite300skincare.com
Line on inner rim on lower lash line.
Glowing Â For Â All!!!! Â Get Â the Â look:)
1.Benefit-Gloss and blush(Dandelion); 2.Urban Â Decay-Cheek highlighter(Wicked); 3.Julepnailpolish(Daphne); 4.MAkeup Â Forever-Aqua Eyes(Metallic silver); 5.Ardell-Single flare lashes
Layer for more coverage.:)!
Top 5 must haves Right
1. Urban Decay Naked Skin Foundation Creates the skin you wish you were born with, smooth, seamless and glowing! Stays put all day and looks perfect in photos.($38)
! Works for Any skin tone!
2.Dior Addict Lip Glow Color Reviver Balm A smooth glossy balm that morphs into a super sexy color makes lips look fuller, feel smoother and gives an effortless stained look.($30)
3.Benefit Sun Beam Liquid sunshine for your skin. Swirl over your cheeks temples and bridge of nose-Creates a dewy sun kissed glow even in winter! ($26)
Tips sicle i m a e r C rfect ! the pe and 4.MAC Future Length Lash Serum nude lvet is Lust after lush lashes? Sweep this along Red Ve k st Bric lash lines every night. Find yourself in the be lash land in about a month. ($30) Red! ! 5.!
5.Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter The perfect creamy nude and brick red in a super moisturizing like a lip treatment and your favorite lipstick color ! in one!($7)! ! !
Use a ! synthetic fluffy brush to apply!
Total Steal!!! 13! !
Among Other Things... Trends to try this year 1.Gemmed 2.Metallic 3.Fringed 4.Missing Heel 5.Glittered Metals
Photographer: Jami Davis Jamidavis.com Stylist: Sherri Garcia email@example.com Stylist assistant: Carol Lin Creative Director: Tiffany Colors
6.Animal Print 7.Peep toe cut-outs/thongs
Shoes: Boutique 9 'Nosey' Pump($125) Nylons: Haynes floral print($19) Shoes: Christian Louboutin stylists own
Shoes: Report($) Panties: H&M white cotton thong($5)
Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell 'NightTick' Boot($120) Panties: H&M($5)
Shoes: Miu Miu Gold Glitter Pump($225) Panties: Kenzi Adrian Hipster($27) Nail Polish: CiatĂŠ '3 AM Girl' Paint Pot($15) Shoes: Private Label Silver glitter bootie Nylons: Haynes($19)
Shoes: Classiques Entier速 'Sophie' Pump
($149.95) Panties: DKNY 'Fusion' Thong Back Waist Cincher($50)
Shoes: Alexander Wang-Stylistsâ€™ own Panties: H&M ($5) Lipstick: Y.S.L Glossy Lipstain -#1($30)
Shoes:Charles And David(stylists own) Panties: Hanky Panky Boy short($29) Nylons: Haynes ($19) Bracelet: Nikki Jacoby Jewelry($125) Ring:Stylists own Nail polish: Julep -Lucy($14)
Let’s Talk About Your Drinking...Over Cocktails The New new Functional Alcoholic... I should tell you that I am one of them. And maybe it’s not new, but rather improved? Either way, it's the most functional kind. We are successful, able to pay our bills, wake up to make breakfast, dress the kids, get them oﬀ to school, clean the house, make sure the signiﬁcant other is happy, feed animals, and head to work. And then we have a Time. A Time to drink like…4:30. Now I'm not talking a glass or two that is "nursed" until it's lights out -‐ I'm talking -‐ "Oh Shit this bottle is empty/time to open another!" Let’s talk for a minute about the "Old School Alcoholics" (and Please, Please know that these kind still exist). These are the ones that constantly smell like booze: They sweat a lot, really haven't taken a shower, and are shaky lil devils. They are Loud (when you can understand them), have a problem with Never saying the right things or being responsible -‐ they May be able to go to work but are Angry and annoyed at the Wake-‐up -‐ they may crack a beer in the morning Or will soon have one -‐ and will drink ALL day-‐ It's not that they are not or have not been good people -‐ It's just the Alcohol has the best of them, and you can Smell it! These shaky lil devils could literally Die not having a Drink within one to two days of trying to rid themselves of their addiction. This kind of alcoholic should be in a rehab scenario if they actually do want to rid themselves of the wagon. Do you know what the Doctors say is an alcoholic or Heavy Drinker? “Any person who has more than 5 to 7 drinks a week.” What???? 5 to 7? “And this is not per night.” Not per night!!!!!? Well, I'm screwed. My enabling friends are screwed. We’re all screwed.
From the Book Of Alcoholic's Anonymous, “It's a two-‐fold scenario: Mental and Physical -‐ an obsession of the Mind/Thought process and an allergy of the body. The Mind portion is an obsession or insanity: "Ohh, I'll just have one drink -‐ I can control myself, but I Must have one." Which then is immediately followed with the Physical, "I must have More More More…” Recovery from the obsession (mental) component is possible, but the Physical part is the Focus here. This is the part that determine whether or not you are an Old school alcoholic OR the New, improved functional Alcoholic. Alcoholism is distinct from "hard," "heavy," or "problem" drinking. The human body divides here. Some people can drink and relax, and their body takes less of a beating(organs and sclerosis of the liver). The allergy or eﬀect on the human body is diﬀerent just like the color of your eyes or your hair. The way we react to alcohol is genetic, and our bodies generally will react to alcohol just like our mother/father/grandparents, etc. And if we are lucky, we will evolve from the Old alcoholic to the New, improved functional Alcoholic!! And this is what I've become -‐-‐ you see my bedroom was across from the kitchen when I was growing up -‐ and the sound of an early morning beer being opened by my dad is still a fresh sound ringing in my ears. I'm Not saying it's right -‐ I'm saying I like it better then taking pills. I've tried those, and they really wrecked me with all those yucky side eﬀects. And I know SOSOSOSO many pill poppers… ADD,ADHD, depression, bipolar meds, migraine meds, anxiety meds, pain meds, meds to wake up, meds to fall asleep, diet meds, meds to stop smoking, meds to regulate your blood, .heart, lungs…the list goes on and on. The Cool thing (not cool not cool) is that I don't have to go to a Dr.(for now) for my self medication method. I do suggest that you eat healthy, get exercise, and regularly get a check-‐up and check in with yourself, so you don’t slip into the "old school Alcoholics" way. If you do cross the bridge to the Old alcoholic, you can never ever come back to Almost being an alcoholic...never -‐ it is a very painful death, and you will ruin the hearts of the people who love you (selﬁsh jerk!) And Never EVER Never drink and drive. Thanks for reading…it's 4:30 - gotta go get my drink on! Debbie Drinks A Lot..
Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline 1-800-662-HELP www.aa.org
Jenny’s Style Then and Now
8675309... The arc of my wardrobe has taken many a turn in the last decade or so. This girl woman/mother has come a long way from high school (plaid flannel/leggings/Doc Marten’s) to motherhood (workout gear/leggings/ cardigans). I graduated from college during the dot.com era. It was the time when everyone got snatched up by whateverwecansell.com, or by one of its many related competitors. These companies were hiring 20something’s with relatively no qualifications, and offering them inflated titles and founder’s stock. (Side note, of the many people I knew who received such stock options, I can count on one hand how many of them cashed in, and I was not one of them). This new title meant a wardrobe of wool or poly-blend pants, and sweaters, or button-downs from Banana Republic or J Crew. My style icon at that time was probably a character from Friends, and I am definitely one of the many thousands of women who sported some version of the “Jennifer Aniston” haircut. This business casual arc became slightly more refined upon my career move to Microsoft. In fact, it was definitely during my tenure at MS when I took my penchant for skirts to a whole new level. True story, I worked in the same building as the man himself, Mr. Bill Gates, and though I rarely saw him, I did have one rather memorable encounter in the elevator one morning. It went something like this: Bill: Good morning. Me: Good morning (silence). Bill: You look very nice today. Me: Thank you (pause). I really like wearing skirts (where am I going with this?) They are just so much more comfortable than pants (yes, I went there. Long pause and a smirk). Bill: Well I wouldn’t know (silence, and mercifully the end of our elevator ride). During this era, my heels got higher (I am 5’ 6” and grew up around exceedingly tall people), and I introduced the knee-high boot into my wardrobe. Around this time, a lot of friends were getting married, which lead to also to the era of many fancy dresses: cocktail dresses, bridesmaid dresses, and for me, the work dress which became a staple for the next several years. Then it was time for a really big change. Two things happened; I met my guy (future husband) and went to work in an entirely new industry, music. This new career had a profound effect on my wardrobe, perhaps even more so than the guy. But they did share one commonality; they were both part of my major shift back to flats. This was a major shift because I had spent considerable time and energy working on my feet until I could wear 3 inch heels for 8 hours at a time, no problem. My husband, like many of the men in music, is, how shall we say? normal human height, not 6’3” like the many men in my family.This meant that my pants no longer worked (too long), and the pencil skirts had to go too (too dowdy with flats). So my hemline rose, and so did the number of dresses in my closet.
This iteration of fashion (A-line, empire, or fitted shirt dresses + tights + boots or in the summer, sandals) took me right up until the next major shift in my life, pregnancy. The first few months were (gratefully) noneventful. A few pairs of jeans had to be retired, but fortunately as someone whose weight has fluctuated throughout the years, I had plenty of larger sizes still buried in the closet. A somewhat shocking discovery in this consumer era…cute maternity clothes are virtually non-existent. At first this seemed like a tragedy of great magnitude, until I discovered that most “normal” clothes actually can and will fit over your pregnant belly; it is just a matter of finding the right style (something with stretch) and wearing the right undergarments (hello tights! Never have my belly and thighs felt so supported and loved). The next phase can’t and didn’t count as fashion, but for the sake of this tale, here is a list of items that became indispensable post baby: ·
black workout pants (of the cotton variety, with a nice boot cut)
I had the baby in the dead of winter, so getting out of bed at all hours of the night in a house built in the ‘20s required layering, and this outfit was also one way to feel more like a human being when folks stopped by to meet the babe. This brings me to my present: a nursing/working mom who tends to favor skinny jeans/loose top combinations (easy access to the food puts the dresses on hold for now). Plus the fashions of today are largely compatible with this particular ethos. An amazing thing happens once you give birth, your regard for your own appearance becomes something that falls way down on the list of priorities. I consider this both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I have become much more efficient with my wardrobe. I have found some winning combinations, those tried and true outfits you can throw on as you run out the door, and you know they won’t let you down (even in your less than fighting post-partum weight). On the other hand, the people who see you every day will certainly be hip to your program (though something tells me my husband wouldn’t notice if I wore the same outfit every day for a week). At the end of the day, what being a mom has done for me (maybe this is Angelina Jolie’s secret?) is give me less concern, and more confidence in myself, baby spit/banana smeared/unwashed hair, and all. Jenny.
#1. Tuxedo ruffles: in or out? Out. #2. What is the best shirt for a busty woman? The WORST is crew neck. The best is probably a vneck or--even better--a wrap top.
#3. Who should not wear sleeveless? Anyone who thinks they should not wear sleeveless. If you're uncomfortable with your arms, don't go there. If you feel good, go for it.
#4. Are there a pair of underwear that does not have pantylines? Besides a thong? (which can still look like a thong under clothes). I like Spanx's "Butâ€ŚNaked" line, they do a good job disappearing.
#5. Is it true that all women can use a belt to bring in their waist? Unless you are pregnant or have a protruding tummy, then yes.
#7. Is it true that everyone can wear skinny jeans (all shapes and sizes)? Yes. I hate the term "skinny jeans," because it sounds like only skinny people can wear them. I prefer "ankle jeans." Try Not Your Daughters Jeans Anyone who likes the shape and wants to wear skinny jeans can and should.
#9. What happens if size 0 is too big for me? Boo hoo. Just kidding, this is a real problem for many. You can shop in the Juniors department, because size 1 in juniors is smaller than a Women's size 0. You should also hit H&M, because European sizes in general run smaller and their size 2 is smaller than size 0 at most American retailers.
#6. Is there really a comfortable pair of heels? Wedges are always more comfortable and easier to walk in than stilettos. #8. How can I prevent muffin top when I wear low rise jean? If you have a muffin top, you shouldn't be wearing low jeans. You'll look a lot and feel a lot better in a higher waisted jean, like Paige Premium Denim's Hidden Hills denim is super chic and has a higher waist. Also BDG Cigarette High Rise at Urban #10. Boots: outside or inside jeans? If your jeans are skinny jeans, wear them inside of your boots. If your boots are bootcut, wide-leg or pretty much anything that isn't fitted right to your leg, wear the jeans over the boots. I'm not going to sugar coat it: stuffing roomy jeans into boots looks bad. Don't do it.
Vignettes by Tes
Winter is a great time to nestle in with a love. I say buy yourself some gorgeous new lingerie, some sexy heels, a new tube of lipstick, and treat yourself to a special meal out. Here are my seasonal favorites right now! 1. Mini Dolfin Dark Chocolates -for a little indulgence any day. Lucca; 2. Jil Sander 3/4 Length Dress $2980.00 – Wool,
cashmere & sheer chiffon inserts makes a wearable dress a little sexy. thecorner.com ;3. Chez Shea- a romantic restaurant in the heart of downtown Seattle overlooking the sound and Pike Place market offers special fixed course menu for Valentine’s Day.; 4. Gucci yummy juicy red framed sunglasses. $325.00 Bloomingdales.; 5.Oysho lingerie is perfect for a night with your new love. oysho.com ; 6. Jason Wu Shoe with fishnet, patent and rhinestone encrusted heel. Around $795.00- I see wearing these with a very delicate dress on a very special date. jasonwustudio.com ; 7. Alisha Louise Bijou drop enamel earrings in bright red. $70.00 alsihalouise.com ; 8. Jil Sander sleek fold over black leather clutch with a shock of red lining. $800.00 Barney’s; 9. Curtis Steiner Handmade Valentine $10.00 - These are the best cards to give and get. Curtis Steiner Boutique Seattle, WA; 10. Filly Designs Beginning Dress $155.00- The perfect dress to wear on a first date. shop.fillydesigns.com ; 11. Bottega Veneta Slit Front Skirt $1180.00 & Mohair Front Blouse $456.00- This to die for outfit is ready to mix and match to be worn in so many ways with just the right edge. Neiman Marcus; 12. Liza Rietz Asymmetrical Tiered Dress $315.00- This is so fresh, modern, and you get to show a little leg! modern, Purchase on liza’s etsy site.; 13. Essie Nail Color in Fishnet Stockings $8.00 essie.com ;14. ASOS leather gloves with heart cut out. $23.75- Sexy driving gloves! asos.com ;15. Di Santa Maria Novella Soap $15-; 16. Hair from Jason Wu Spring 2013 Runway- Love the sleek side part and long bang almost a finger wave framing the face.; 17. Jason Wu Make-up from Spring 2013 Runway- I adore the almost heart shaped lip outlined in red, filled in with deep lush rosy pink.18. All My Thoughts & Heart Talks Journal $24.95 –It’s important to document meaningful moments in our lives as we can really learn from ourselves. Lucca ..For More Of Tes check out www.crinolineandtweed.com
窶連lways Yours, Jean...
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(Left to Right) Jean jacket, Maverick, vintage. Sleeveless top, T by Alexander Wang, Nordstrom. Jeans, Maison Scotch, freepeople.com. Wedges, Pedro Garcia, Nordstrom. Heart pin, Prada. Earrings, Betsey Johnson, Macy's. Belt, stylist's own. Tshirt, Rxmance, Madewell. Corduroy jeans, Cheap Monday, asos.com. Wedges, Trouve, Nordstrom. Barrettes, H&M.
(Left to Right), Snap-front denim shirt, Levi's, levis.com. Sweater, Hanii Y, Nordstrom. Jeans, Calvin Klein, vintage. Sunglasses, Nordstrom. Necklace (longer), Nikki Jacoby. Necklace (shorter), stylist's own. Vest, Levi's, vintage. Lace bustier, Intimately by Free People, freepeople.com. Bra, H&M. Skirt, Yigal Azrouel, yigal-azrouel.com. Socks, Free People, freepeople.com
Cropped tshirt, denim jumper, Topshop. Earrings, stylist's own. Sandals, stylist's own. Chambray shirt, Arnold Zimberg, shopstyle.com. Bustier, Forever 21. Jeans, Textile by Elizabeth and James, elizabethandjames.us. Earrings, Nikki Jacoby. Bandana, bracelet, stylist's own.
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Chantal andrea photography www.chantalandrea.com Fashion Editor/Creative Director Rosie Bowker Hair/Makeup; Jenny Bowker Jennybowkermakeup.com Models: Brunette is Rachel Noe at Heffner. Blonde is Kayla Washburn at SMG.
Confess Yourself. In this column, I invite readers to confess anything they want. Use a pseudonym or use your real name. We have no rules to this column except one: No matter how you present yourself to us, be honest about your situation. We’ll reciprocate with some honest advice. It’s up to you whether or not you take it. Since this is our first column, it’s only fair that I start… I’m a liar. I was married to someone for 7 years, and for at least 5 of those, I knew that it wouldn’t work. I was ambitious, craving stimulation and challenge. He was sweet but unpredictable; his charm matched only by his lack of motivation. He was exhausted by my energy, and I was exhausted by his lack thereof. As our careers diverged, he wanted me to go back in time and love him simply, like I had when he had first met, without expectations or demands. I pretended that I did. But I was lying. We crossed paths when I was in my early twenties, and his laid-back, adventurous style seemed like just what I needed. I was working in the film industry and everything was difficult – the hours, the people, the ladders left to climb – I spent my days surrounded by malcontents – actors who were really directors, directors who were really writers, producers who were really studio execs. My former beloved didn’t care about climbing ladders or finding the meaning of anything. He was the perfect Peter Pan, loving women as fluidly as he loved his current life, with no concern for the future. “It will all be okay,” he would coo to me when I expressed concern over the job he’d just lost, the girlfriend he had just ditched to be with me, and the uncomfortable uncertainty he embraced with glee. I smiled. I lied. I laughed at his jokes. And then I lied some more. After all, that was the agreement we made. I was complicit in all of it. And yet. And yet. I was surprised, genuinely shocked when 10 years later he came home from a stint working overseas in Jordan to announce that he “still loved me but was no longer in love with me.” “Is there someone else?” I asked him that day on the couch, on that horrible, lumpy, green couch that we kept promising ourselves we would upgrade once he had held a job for more than a year. “Please, please, please,” I begged him. I implored him. “You promised,” His promise was a lie. His promises had always been lies, and we both knew it. Of course he said there wasn’t anyone, and of course that was a lie too. The difference was that this was the first lie I believed without being complicit. This was the first lie that took me by surprise. It was the first lie I wasn’t in on. The first night we ever spent together he was still living with his old girlfriend. We spent the whole night holding each other because I refused to do anything else since he had a girlfriend. He told me things had been over for months but the logistics had been difficult to navigate, so for now, they still lived together. Likely most of that was a lie. Even so, he went home and broke up with her. And that made me feel like the lies we had told that night were justified. Because we had finally found love. True love.
And as soon as I saw him as a single man, I knew. I knew it was The. Best. Thing. Ever. He wouldn’t do anything dishonest to me. I was different. I knew because he told me I was different. Even though he had cheated on every other girlfriend he had ever had. This was it. I was it. I was the one who would change it all. I was the one who would finally change him. Tame him. With me he would grow up, build a career, propose, start a family. Do things that were hard. Do things that were true. And I believed him. That’s what we do when we enter into a relationship with a liar. We lie too. He probably told that girlfriend those same lies when they were first getting together, and then later, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” when he was trying to see her out the door to make room for me. I was such a good liar that even I believed my lies. And 10 years later when I saw a picture of him on Facebook with someone who was my age when we first met, someone he had worked with in Jordan, someone who had met me when I came to visit my husband in the Middle East, someone who had tried to befriend me, I still felt shocked. I still couldn’t believe it. The lies I had told myself had been so convincing. He won’t be dishonest with you. Ever. You’re different. Maybe I was different, I tried to convince myself. I still wanted to stay with the liar. I still wanted to believe in the lies. I still wanted to believe in the liar. He did his best to convince everyone around them that he really wasn’t a liar. He never admitted to the affair. Never answered my phone call when I finally understood the facts of situation and demanded an acknowledgment. Instead, I received a curt email that said, “I’m sorry you can’t accept that I’m taking my life in a new direction.” I tried to accept that I had married a liar. I tried to accept that I was a liar, too. I hired a lawyer and filed for divorce the next day, but it took me a long time to find acceptance. I spent a lot of time dreaming about confrontation. The confrontation that would finally reveal the lies. The confrontation that would finally bring the truth. The confrontation that I would never have. So I dreamed about the many scenarios that had made this possible. I dreamed about the lies my husband told his new paramour when the affair began, how charming those lies must have been, the lies they continue to tell each other, the lies they tell their families about a man nearing 40, who falls for someone barely out of college. How a current marriage to someone else and a double-decade age difference isn’t really much of a barrier. You can’t help who you fall in love with, right? It’s easier still to imagine the pictures of the future they paint because I painted them too – the trips they can take, the children they can have, the life they can lead as a family. All lies. And yet. And yet. None of it is hard to imagine because now she’s me. She’s the one who thinks she is different. That the lying will finally stop with her. But he’s a liar, she’s a liar, and I’m a liar. And we all know the truth. Now it’s your turn to confess yourself.
Send your truth to firstname.lastname@example.org, Subject: My Confession.
Wear More Wedges This would be my 2013 New Year’s Resolution. You see, since becoming a mother, running my own business, and regular day-to-day activities of this that and the other, I somehow turned in my heels for flats for comfort; and in doing so, bye-bye went the leg-lengthening look that I loved-.So now, I am turning to the better support, leglengthening and favored comfort of “THE WEDGE”- T..xo
I have theseI LOVE THEM!!
Click Page for info on shoes
Becky Ireland My MOM and Me 1979
I am an “organized” person. I blame my mother and her "near" OCD instructions: “You have a sock drawer and an underwear drawer.” “These are always the top two in your dresser.” “Mail has its place, dishes need to be dried and put away every night.” “Never air dry.” I could also point the finger at a few teachers, "Math books to the left in your desk, spelling books to the right.” I can still see Mrs. Carter from 4th grade checking our desks. I always had it right; I was failing history, but my desk was always perfect. As I grew up, neatness and organization became a personality trait that I clung to. When I became a mother, believe me, that changing table and nursery were in order. It was the baby that was “disorganized.” She was awake when my schedule said it was naptime. When she was placed in a very tidy playpen, she messed up all the toys and threw them out on the floor...WHAT????? After my second daughter was born, you would think I would let some of my neat/clean/organize thing go, but nope, not a chance! My kids always had their lunch made, homework signed, library books returned. Their clothes were clean (wash was done every day), clean sheets (changed every Friday), and clean hair (washed every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday...my Mom’s rule). My daughters are married now and have their own children. As I spend Grandma time with their kids, I can feel all my parenting traits come on strong. One toy out - one toy gets put away. Don't leave your shoes there - they have a place! The coat gets hung up, not thrown on a chair! My daughters aren't this way at all. They have their way to run their lives with their families. But I’m still buying them those under the bed organizing bins in hopes that they will get more organized, too.xo MOM
Famous Last Words... New Year New YOU!! (Otherwise known as doing something for three months and then falling back into your old routine) No one is innocent here. We have all done this at some point! I’m not going to call (person you love but doesn't treat you right) anymore but after 3 glasses of wine, there is a midnight call. You buy the whole exercise getup get a trainer, sign up for the gym and all of a sudden you have paid for five months of membership that you aren’t going to use but you also aren’t going to cancel. Someday you will be motivated enough to actually go(umm that is me Like EVERY YEAR), and/or find that job you love, take more time for yourself, work on the yard more, yadda yadda yaddaGuess what? It's o.k. Maybe it’s time for a new kind of resolution. One that you will actually stick to. It's o.k. to want to try and to not complete. In my Old age and Wisdom (thousands of $ in therapy), I've found that somewhere we have heard things we should do, and we may not jive with it. When we try doing what we should do, we almost always fail because these activities don’t fit with our personalities. Now, I’m not saying that the super duper obese person should just keep eating and not exercising because it's what jives with them - I am saying that maybe they add walking to their day(maybe to their favorite restaurant) I'm saying that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Take what you really like doing and add the thing you think you should do to that activity. I love to shop! Even window shopping stimulates me -so I'll shop and walk and shop and walk, and before I know it, I've walked around for 3hrs! Get a step counter so you know how far you’ve walked. I strongly agree with the Quality not Quantity saying. I learned this through parenting. Too much time with Kiddo equaled a Crazy Momma. So I started taking my daughter along on my shopping/looking excursions and found my kiddo loved looking at shoes and dresses!! Yes!! I canceled my gym membership finally and This Year my New Year New You is the same but with a little tweak here and there With just enough of what I like that I can actually stick to it. Cheers and Happy Resolution! T..xo