Last Word
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NAME? Should you take your partner’s last name when you marry? Madelaine Culver says no, but Zoe Lewis is in favour of this tradition.
Yes
Committing to marriage is the next exciting step in you and your partner’s relationship, one which will see you live the rest of your lives together in union, until death do you part. It’s not just a chance to show the world your love and respect for each other, but also a significant step away from a life led as a single person. In due course you will start to share many aspects of your life as a newly married couple. If you are not already living together by now, you will no doubt be looking to move in together soon after your wedding. Many married couples also set up joint bank accounts. A significant factor of getting married is committing to your future together; a commitment which will be agreed in front of your closest family and friends. Keeping your original surname could send a slightly worrying message to these people. Do you not want anyone to know you are now married? What’s worse is that some people could assume your original surname is your husband’s name anyway, and what would be more annoying than having to constantly explain this is not the case? You also leave yourself open to questions from others who are curious at your decision to keep your maiden name. Insisting on keeping your original surname could also lead to problems later on in life, especially if you decide to have children together. Will you insist that they take on your surname as well? Don’t forget your husband’s feelings when it comes to this situation; he may be very passionate about carrying on his family name. Taking your husband’s name could come with more positives than you think. Try sounding out your full name as it stands, and then switching your surname with your husband’s. It may roll off the tongue better, or even be easier to pronounce. His surname could even be nicer than yours; although you may refuse to admit it. Sharing is a significant part of marriage, and an important aspect that you will both have to adjust to and work at throughout your lives as a couple. So why not show your commitment to this by sharing the same surname with your husband?
No
Marriage is one of the most exciting and significant commitments you will ever make but why over complicate things by dropping your last name? I’m not suggesting that taking his name is the wrong thing to do, but if it you’re doing it only out of expectation then make sure to consider all your options first. It is an age-old tradition in Western culture that the woman takes on her man’s last name, but why should this continue in the 21st century when so many other customs have slipped by the wayside? Marital name changing goes back a long way, and stems from the days (luckily gone by!), when becoming a man’s wife meant becoming his family’s legal property. Times have moved on a fair way since then so why shouldn’t we break away from convention and opt for a more contemporary approach? You may feel as though you’re letting your man down by choosing to keep your maiden name, but there are practical benefits you might want to consider before making an unnecessary change. Not only will you
avoid the gruelling task of updating the details on every legal document you possess (that’s right, all of them!), you will also save yourself a bit of cash by not having to renew your current passport - a process that will set you back over £70! In giving up your name you may also feel like you’re losing the identity you have been shaping for yourself since you were a little girl. It’s a change that can be difficult to adjust to, not only personally, but professionally as well. After years of building up your career around your own family name is it really necessary to give it all up and re-establish yourself under a new one? There are a few ways to get around this tricky issue if you don’t want to lose your name completely. You could, for example, add his name to yours to create a double barrelled surname. Or you could, dare I suggest it, let him take yours instead (although this may take a bit longer to persuade a groom to commit to). Ultimately your name is part of what makes you who you are, and a decision to change it shouldn’t be taken purely because you feel you ought to.
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10/18/2013 12:28:33 PM