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Oh,theplacesyou’llgo Dr. Seuss once said, “Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to great places. You’re off and away.” But where exactly? From the senior surveys, we compiled the amount of people attending school in each state.

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9 6 1 11 1







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art by chet flaum


top five most popular states schools in iowa iowa University missouri of Iowa

12 3 4 5

illinois indiana

california, minnesota, new york & wisconsin







Kirkwood 5



Other 0






compiled by alli pitlick

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by the


In any given tri, have you gotten a




% 75



Do you read the WSS? I browse...


Which year was the hardest?

No - 33% Senior



I think so... 28%

feel that a teacher has made a significant impact on their life have gotten a speeding ticket


volunteer regularly

How many AP classes have you taken at West High?

7-9 9%

10+ 4%


5-6 9%

[ [

3-4 21%


1-2 29%



0 28%


have done community serivce

84% 30%



of seniors were involved in at least one extracurricular

Does Dr. A know your name?

were single all through high school


of seniors think their morals have changed since freshman year

an s


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are sexually active



have snuck out


Yes 39%





are happy about their plans for next year

Hawkeye ar e f



Every week

Every month

have had a crush on a teacher


How often do you check Facebook?

of seniors have skipped a class

of seniors were born in Iowa City


have cheated on a significant other



Do you believe in God?



Every day


54% YES 46% NO 72% 28% YES NO

have parents that are divorced or seperated

enjoyed high school

have been cheated on by a significant other

181 seniors surveyed photos by kerri sorrell art by chet flaum compiled by kerri sorrell

Dr.A take along

dr. a lampshade Let Dr. Arganbright illuminate your learning! With his semi-transparent, smiling face printed on a lampshade, you can think of Dr. A every time you study. His gentle shadow will remind you of the impact your high school years have had on the person and student you are today. When you are goofing off, Dr. Arganbright’s faint shadows will make you feel vaguely guilty that you are disappointing your favorite principal, and inspire you to get back to work.

dr. a mobile The many faces of Dr. Arganbright will gently sway back and forth as you stare up from your bed. There is Stern Dr. Arganbright, Proud Dr. Arganbright, Friendly Dr. Arganbright, Angry Dr. Arganbright, Cautiously Optimistic Dr. Arganbright, and half a dozen others. This mobile reminds the viewer that all are essential parts of Dr. A’s personality. Reminisce about Dr. A as you fall asleep and remember that you’ll always be a baby to him.

College is a tough place. There are new friends to be made, harder classes to take and wicked hangovers to battle. High school has prepared us for most tough situations, but when you find yourself in a mess and you need a little help, there’s always one person who will be there for you: your beloved principal Dr. Arganbright. Below are a few items that might come in handy after you leave the comfoting halls of West High. BY JAMIE O’DONNELL

dr. a snuggie

When you’re feeling down, few things are better than a warm, comforting hug, especially from your beloved Dr. Arganbright. When college gets you down, snuggle into Dr. Arganbright’s comforting embrace and think back to a happier time. His kindly but authoritative presence will remind you that someone out there cares about you and will help you with your problems.

dr. a brass knuckles Sometimes, you have to stand up for what you believe in. When you take that stand, make sure you do it with the steely confidence only Dr. Arganbright’s presence can provide. Some parts of being a principal are saddening but necessary. With four sorrowful Dr. Arganbright faces engraved on the brass knuckles, every swing will leave your opponent something to think about. Later, they can stare regretfully at their Dr. Arganbright–shaped bruises and rethink their lives.

dr. a laundry detergent Remind yourself to “keep it clean” with an Arganbright-themed laundry detergent. “Dr. Clean” will keep your clothes looking as classy as those of your favorite principal. Live your life to the fullest, confident in the knowledge you can get those pizza stains out of your clothes later. Dr. A will help you stay clean in body, mind, and action when you go off to college.

photo illustrations by kerri sorrell

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Q&A with

compiled by jamie o’donnell

compiled by jamie o’donnell


gabe teager ’10

Q&A with nick senior ’10

WSS: What made you interested in signing up? GT: There are a lot of benefits – they pay for your college among other things. I’m also a patriot through and through. WSS: When do you leave, and where do you go? GT: I’m not quite sure when I leave, but basic training is in San Antonio, Texas. WSS: What are your expectations for boot camp? GT: I expect it to be pretty rough, physically and mentally. WSS: Who has inspired you? GT: My dad. I was messing around with the idea, and then my dad introduced me to a recruiter and it took off from there. WSS: What do you plan to do after serving in the Armed Forces? GT: I plan to go to college. I might go to ODS, where they train officers for the Air Force. You have to be perfect, both physically and mentally, to fly. You also have to be an officer, which takes a lot of work. If I fly, that’ll be my career. WSS: What made you interested in signing up? NS: I’ve always wanted to join the Corps since like seventh grade. WSS: When do you leave, and where do you go? NS: I leave July 8th and go to San Diego, Camp Pendleton. WSS: What are your expectations for boot camp? NS: Ignoring pain. WSS: Who has inspired you? NS: Kids we’ve worked out


After the tassle is turned and the graduation parties end, three West High students plan to take an alternate path with their futures. Instead of packing up and heading to the dorms, these three seniors are suiting up and enlisting in the armed forces.

Q&A with

compiled by jamie o’donnell

ezra laymen ’10

with in the delayed entry program (enlisted but not leaving just yet). They go to boot camp and then come back and they come back dressed in blues. It’s very inspirational because you want to be like them. WSS: What do you plan to do after serving in the Armed Forces? NS: I figure I’m going to college for criminal justice. I might be a cop, trooper, sheriff or possibly SWAT.

WSS: What made you interested in signing up? EL: I love America, I really do, you have to feel it to understand it I guess. WSS: When do you leave, and where do you go? EL: I leave July 26th and go to San Diego. I have boot camp for 13 weeks. After boot camp, I come back for ten days and then go to job training school. Then I go to duty station and maybe get deployed. WSS: What are your expectations for boot camp? EL: A lot of intensity, yelling

and learning to ignore that little voice in your head saying “quit.” WSS: Who has inspired you? EL: Marines from the past, everyone who has fought for our freedom. I saw Kyle Bender, a previous student from West, decide to do it and it’s inspiring. WSS: What do you plan to do after serving in the Armed Forces? EL: Probably college, but I’m not sure what for yet. I’ll start a career and figure it out when I get there. Maybe border control. photo by kerri sorrell


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WSS: You got five votes for best couple that never was in Senior Superlatives. Why? Nolan: I think it’s because we’re adorable. Ross-Sheehy: We act like a married couple. WSS: How long have you known each other? Ross-Sheehy: Since seventh grade, but we hated each other. Nolan: I lit his hair on fire. I had a lighter, and wanted to find out if hair was flammable. Ross-Sheehy: We really didn’t get along well. Nolan: Also, burning hair smells terrible. WSS: Why did you hate each other so much? Ross-Sheehy: Well, immediately after I broke up with this girl… Nolan: I went after her. Part of it was that I already didn’t like Jake [Ross-Sheehy] and wanted to exact some revenge. Ross-Sheehy: We were pretty jerkish/mean/ unpleasant to each other. It was a very deep hatred. Nolan: He moved, but then he came back the next year and tried to take the girl again. Ross-Sheehy: Jake [Nolan] is the only person I’ve ever really hated. I was jealous my girlfriend hung out with him so much. WSS: So how are you best friends now? Nolan: By junior year, things had died down and I realized we had a lot in common. Ross-Sheehy: We had two open hours together, so we really got to know each other.

Nolan: We also hung out with the same group of friends, so we got to know each other outside of school and realized we weren’t that bad. WSS: What do you like to do together? Ross-Sheehy: We debate musical tastes / fight about musical tastes. Nolan: We watch Star Wars! Ross-Sheehy: We eat lunch. And ponder deep philosophical questions. WSS: How similar are you? Apart from the name. Ross-Sheehy: We dress similarly. Nolan: Too similarly. It’s scary. Ross-Sheehy: We have a similar sense of humor. Nolan: We were both raised by our moms taking college courses after a divorce. And we like relatively similar music. Ross-Sheehy: Relatively. I’m also the one who takes things too far… Nolan: While I’m the mediator. WSS: How are you different? Ross-Sheehy: I’m cool. And I have some white hair. Nolan: I’m a year older, but he looks five years older than me. Ross-Sheehy: I’m shy, while he’s photo s by very outgoing. sarah dirks WSS: Do you think you’ll stay friends after graduation? What are your plans for col-

Things not to do your freshman year

lege? RossSheehy: We ’ r e actually living together in a Kirkwood apartment. Nolan: I was born in Cedar Rapids and my dad still lives there, so I’m familiar with the area. Ross-Sheehy: I go up there with Jake [Nolan] and just follow him around. Nolan: It’ll be exciting to be outside the Iowa City bubble. Ross-Sheehy: I want to write creatively after college, like making novels. I don’t like short stories. Nolan: I want to major in cinematography, and be a director or someone involved in making movies.


Don’t date a senior. There’s too much of a maturity difference. Even if you think they’ll understand you better, you’re on two different mental/social levels. It’s just awkward.


Don’t be roommates with a friend from high school. He’ll do things that annoy you as a roommate you didn’t realize from being his friend. Instead, make sure you keep your old friend and hopefully add two new people to your group of friends by rooming with other people.


Sources: Nick Beatty ’10, and Alex Rains ’10, both seniors at the UI.



Don’t procrastinate irresponsibly. If you must procrastinate something like a research paper, do the research early and wait on the actual paper. The research is the hard part – it’s not too hard to crank out a paper when you have a deadline looming.

Don’t be afraid to get help the instant things start to go badly in a class. It’s much easier to re-learn an hour’s worth of material than a month’s. Also, don’t be afraid to change your major. It’s fairly common, and will make you much happier in the long run.


Don’t bury yourself in so much work you don’t do anything else. You’ll do better and be happier if you have fun in college too. Schools work really hard to bring in big name musicians and comedians to visit. Check bulletin boards and try something new if it looks interesting. the last story


Senior Futures

Remember when you were supposed to turn in those senior future forms that would allow the WSS to tell your future? Well this is what we got back. We apologize if you cannot find your art by marco cacho name; it could be that you didn’t turn it in and we couldn’t contact you. Madison Abel plans to continue her professional cup stacking career while attending Kirkwood then hopefully transferring to RMCAD in Denver. Olamide Abiose is planning on attending Washington University in St. Louis and studying cognitive science. Curie Ahn will be attending Cal. Tech. Ignacio Ampuero is going to Washington University in St. Louis to study international relations after a trip to Europe. He’ll be enjoying the summer until then. Caroline Anderson plans on attending Luther College with an undecided major >:~o Andrew Antill is going to Portland, Oregon for school next fall at the art institute, majoring in game development and design and minor in computer engineering. After college, that’s when he’ll invest in his own business and live it out. Brittany Appel plans to attend the University of Iowa in the fall of 2010. She wants to major in elementary education. She is excited for the different opportunities the University will provide especially the football games. Nicholas Arpey plans to attend and play soccer at Colgate University. Katherine Aschoff will be attending Iowa next fall. Taylor Austin plans to attend Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa. Alexander Bailey will be going to Kirkwood in Cedar Rapids, majoring in Restaurant management and having the best summer ever! Zana Bajric will attend K-wood and write letters to Lil Wayne in jail. Matthew Barry will attend Iowa in the fall. Paul Baumert is going to the U of I (like a million other people)...so nothing special. Brandon Bay is planning to attend Iowa State. Ryan Beck is going to Kirkwood for two years and then to a four year college (deciding between Wartburg, Luther, Mount Mercy) to study Communications. During this time, he will also be independently pursuing a career in music. Jennifer Becker plans on going to Kirkwood next year for radiology. Kayla Becker plans on attending the University of Northern Iowa for music education. Jon Benson will go into employment systems and seek opportunities for employment. Kristine Berge is going to ISU to major in


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biology. Britta Bergstrom plans to go to Kirkwood Community College for two years, then transfer to the University of Iowa to pursue engineering. Chelsee Birt is going to the University of Iowa and she finna be a HAWKEYE!!! Abby Black is attending Kirkwood for her first year. Within that year if she doesn’t become a famous rockstar she hopes/plans on transferring to an art school to learn how to record bands and mix them into CDs. Lindsay Bleile will be going to Augustana in South Dakota to major in theatre. Ethan Boateng plans on going to Kirkwood in Cedar Rapids then either to Iowa or ISU. Courtney Bode plans to attend the University of Wisconsin-Madison and plans to pursue a career in the medical field. Allison Bohlke plans to attend Iowa State University, majoring in fashion with minors in Spanish and international business. Taylor Boland is going to the University of Iowa as a pre-business major. Tayler Bontrager is going to Kirkwood to play basketball. Tracy Bowers plans on maybe going to K-wood to major in fire science but otherwise working full time for concrete central Emily Bowman will be a chemistry major at Drake University. Ciara Boyer is going to UNI for school and will be majoring in either interior design or communication studies. She’s really scared, but excited at the same time! Jordan Bradley is going to Howard University to study black history and become the next Martin Luther King. (MLK III). Shelby Bream plans to attend Kirkwood for two years before transferring to the U of I to major in political science. Ryan Brennan plans to live a simpler life by moving to China to be a rice paddy worker and organizing a labor union to strike for health care rights and a minimum wage above ten cents a day. Derek Brenner will be sharpening his skills at the field house, to get ready for the upcoming NBA draft . Bob Brown will attend Wartburg College and play soccer. Elizabeth Brown is going to Kirkwood to raise her grade and focus on business. After that she will transfer to the U of I. Jade-Chuntivia Brown plans on continuing

her nursing degree at Kirkwood, while focusing on her modeling career and then transferring on to Western Illinois. Nichole Bryant plans to attend Kirkwood for one semester, then transfering to Mt. Mercy in Cedar Rapids to study nursing. Rachel Burke is going to Kirkwood and plans on getting into the nursing program. Jami Burrows plans to attend Kirkwood in Cedar Rapids. Ben M. Butler is getting a high paying summer job, to save up for class at Kirkwood to get a C.D.L. license. Benjamin Butler will spend his summer hunting the elusive Manbearpig, and will attend UC Berkeley in the fall to major in mechanical engineering. Hee Jae Byun will be going to Korea this summer and will be attending KAIST University in Korea. Christian Calderon is going to Kirkwood. Franklin Canady plans to go to Grinnell College. Shelby Carter is attending Kirkwood Community College to be a radiology technician. Joel Carver will be attending Kirkwood Community College with a focus in music, political science or journalism. Glue. Tyler Chenhall will be going to Iowa State University, where he will be pursuing X majors (X is a complex number with real part greater than or equal to two). Allen Choi is going to WashU with an undecided major. Lorelei Coffin will stay healthy. Earn sweet grades at American University in Washington, D.C. for government statistics and environment. Intern for www.artofproblemsolving.org and work for lots of LGBT centers. Get along with roommates and be there for people she loves. Actively oppose war and oppression at home and all over the world. Delaney Cooley is going to the University of Iowa and majoring in biology. Kaleigh Crandall is going to Kirkwood Community College for two years to go into the END program. Don’t ask. Mallory Daily plans on going to Marquette University with an undecided major. Levi Dalnodar doesn’t have a future that is set in stone and it will outlive the both of us. Crystal Danger is going to Ellsworth Community College in Iowa Falls to become a nurse. If she doesn’t like that, she will be an elementary school music teacher.

Tinh Dao is going to attend Kirkwood after high school. He’ll major in radiology. Abdul Elgados Daoud is going to Iowa State University to major in chemical engineering. Erin Davidson: is on her way to Colorado State University! Karissa Denny will be attending Kirkwood and hopefully working. Austin Deutsch is going to the University of Iowa. He plans on balling hard at the field house, getting good grades and partying…a lot. Katrina Dion is attending DePaul University in Chicago, Illinois. She will be going to their theatre school with a theatre arts major and focus in directing and also a double major in education. Jose Dominguez is planning on going to Coe College and play soccer and after a year transfer to a D1 soccer school. Anel Dozo plans on going to live abroad and try to play soccer, or get a job in a German company. Brittany Duggan is going to Kirkwood and going into nursing. Rachel Duncan will be attending Luther College in Decorah, IA to study music. Amber Dunham is going to Kirkwood Community College for culinary. Caroline Dvorsky will attend the University of Iowa to study political communications and to party in the big IC. Jason Dykstra is doing two plus two starting at Kirkwood then moving to Iowa State to get a conservation management degree. Elizabeth Ebot plans on attending Northwestern University in Evanston, IL next year and majoring in political science. Guy Eckman is planning to attend Drake University to major in business while running for their cross country and track teams. Hannah Egli is going to Evangel University in Springfield, Missouri, and is going to major in social work. Sam Eichhorn is going to UNI. Going to make a lot of money, too. Ruaa Elkhair is going to enjoy her summer, then attend the U of Iowa to major in psychology and minor in dentistry…she knows she’ll change that but see where the road takes her. Yosra Elkhalifa is going to the U of I . Paige Engelhardt plans to attend Bradley University to study engineering. Justin Ensminger is going to Kirkwood. Miriam Estrada will be working next year. Erin Evans will be attending the University of Kansas next fall, majoring in biology or chemistry. After that, she plans on going to med school. To Audrey Evans, she says: Llama. Christiana Fairfield is going to the United States Military Academy at West Point in New York and plans on majoring in math or history and minoring in Spanish. She plans to someday

have a big family and become a teacher. Anthony Farinelli is going to the University of Iowa to study computer science. Then he will probably have some cake. It only makes sense. Kathryn Feldmann will be attending seminary school in Oregon at St. Shajuana’s. Robert Flanagan will be attending the University of Iowa and will study German, Russian and political science or anthropology. Chester Flaum plans to climb Mt. Everest daily, learn how to talk to cats and revolutionize the currency system in southern Asia while in his dorm room at St. Olaf. Neil Flynn is going to Central College to get fat off Dutch letters…and play baseball and study Business. Lucas Foelsch is hittin’ up the Univesity of Iowa and if his baton twirling career doesn’t pan out, he’ll go start a soap company out of his house on Paper Street while running an underground fight club while battling his violent schizophrenia. Kristin Fomon will be attending Maryville University in St. Louis and will be on their basketball team. Clayton Freeman will attend the University of Northern Iowa to major in biology and pre-med. He will also compete on their track team. William Freeman plans on attending the University of Iowa. He hopes that it will be a hoot and a holler. Erik Frei will be working. Katie Friedhoff is going to Kirkwood then will transfer to Iowa for nursing! Courtney Fritz plans to attend the University of Iowa and study business. She will be on the track and field team with her best friend Micaela Haight. Justin Gaeta plans to go to Kirkwood for some writing and computer science classes. Hopefully will be moving on to the U of I for the writer’s workshop. Candace Gaillard will be attending the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill while majoring in chemistry and preparing for medical school. Go Tarheels! Morgan Gallagher will be attending UNI and plans on playing soccer there! Jacob Gannon is attending Iowa State University on a football scholarship. He is currently an open-major and track, maybe? Hang (Jerry) Gao plans to attend Cornell University. This summer, he plans on not doing much of anything at all. Margaret Gassmann is going to the University of Iowa to earn her bachelors in nursing. Then she wants to continue and receive her masters to become a nurse anesthesiologist. Jessica Gehrke plans to attend Florida International University in Miami, Florida. She will play volleyball and run track at FIU. She plans to major in a sports related field.

Samuel Gilbaugh is going to the U of I and studying business and law contracting. Benjamin Goerdt will attend the University of Iowa to major in cleaning pools with an emphasis on hot moms. Katherine Goldsmith is attending Iowa State where she will sit and wait for Saranya to come visit her, and will study animal science pre-vet. Zuleyma Gonzalez plans to major in psychology at Iowa, and hopefully become a social worker, or something along those lines. Samantha Gorvin plans to attend the University of Iowa with an open major next year. Evan Goulding is going to be a failure and live in a box! Hannah Graber plans to spend the summer having fun, making money and writing fortune cookies. Then she will brave the great distance to the University of Iowa, study something useful and continue on to the college of dentistry. She will miss Peppermint and Sparky, and thanks everyone who has made her k-12 experience so amazing. Wissal Grass will be attending UNI next fall and double major in sociology and criminology. Zhuxinyu Gu is going to the University of Iowa. More school, more knowledge, better job, higher pay. Barshen Habelhah is going to Iowa and majoring in psychology/pre-med. Micaela Haight will be attending the University of Iowa and studying elementary education. She will also be throwing on the track team for the Hawkeyes with her best friend Courtney Fritz. Daniel Hake will enter into June’s NBA drafts as a power forward but if that falls through, off to KWOOD BABY! Benjamin “Ben” Hall plans on attending the University of Iowa with an undecided major. Jonathan Hamlin plans on going to the University of Iowa. He doesn’t know what he’s going to major in but he is going to ROTC for the army or airforce. Brett Hanson is going to Dubuque University for their four year aviation program. If you’re on one of his commercial flights one day, say hi. Amanda Harris plans to go to UNI with a major in elementary education. She also hopes that she can study abroad to Germany (for the third time). She also wants to road trip this summer, so she can mark off more states on her way to all 50. Ahmed Hassan will be attending Iowa to major in engineering. Allaa Hassanein She is attending the U.O.I. majoring in biomedical engineering, however, she plans to go on to med school after getting her bachelors in B.E.

art by marco cacho

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Stewart Haynes is going into physiology at the University of Arizona. Tanner Hedden plans on going to Kansas State University. He plans on majoring in business. Jeffery Hedges will keep his new job and save his money up for a new truck. When he gets on his feet, he wants to go to college. Karis Heffner is going to the university to major in political science. Thomas Heinrich is going to the University of Iowa…should be cool. He’s pretty pumped. Emma Hermiston is attending the University of Northern Iowa. Azaira Hernandez will spend half of her summer in Houston, TX. She will be taking a year off from school and will work two jobs at Takanami and IRP. Then she will go to culinary school in Texas or North Carolina. Megan Hingtgen will be attending Iowa State in the fall, and as of right now she plans on majoring in chemistry and Spanish - but who knows, that may change. William Hirsch is going to Truman State to play soccer and turn Kirksville, MO into the epicenter of the world; then, he’s going to the mall. Chloe Hoagland is going to the University of Iowa, where she plans to run track and major in sports medicine or physical therapy. Kristin Hollins will be attending Iowa State University where she will study design and communication studies so she can become Vogue’s fashion magazine editor, until finally meeting a handsome, rich doctor and becoming a luxurious trophy wife, spending her days getting pedicures and sipping piña coladas by the pool. Andrew Holte will be attending Butler University. Haleigh Horrell is going to Kirkwood undecided and will be working at a daycare. Meredith Hoyland plans to attend the Luther to major in psychology. Hopefully music will continue to play some part in her life. Peter Hruby is going to Iowa State University and majoring in crab fishing. Zhaohui Hu will be attending the University of Iowa and majoring in psychology. Andrew Hurlbut will be taking business classes at Kirkwood. Amelia Hurt will be going to UNI majoring in elementary education with a minor in special education. Benjamin Iburg is going to Kirkwood for a graphic design degree, then touring the U.S. and destroying weak souls with his blast beats. Jared Infelt will be attending Iowa State University where he will attempt to juggle engineering, soccer, video games and being cool. Matthew Jackson plans to attend the Missouri University of Science and Technology where he will study engineering and play division II


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soccer for the Miners. Timothy James is planning on going to the coast guard. Then, he will be going to Kirkwood. Christian Jones plans to do two years at Kirkwood and then transfer to the University of Iowa. Samuel Jones is going to Mount Doom to destroy the One Ring. But first, he’s going to the University of Notre Dame. Grace Junkins will be attending the University of Kentucky. While she does not know what she will be majoring in, she knows she will find a way to help the people who need it most. Alexander Kachingwe will be attending Kirkwood. Stanley Kamande plans to go on a search for Man Bear Pig with Ben Butler and Karl Rosenquist. While on this search they will learn that the word “huff ” is not used outside the IC. At the end of that summer he will be learning bioengineering at U-Dubs (University of Washington). Anna Kann will be doing Americorps next year and then will be attending Webster University for technical theatre. Nouha Karim is planning on going to Egypt this summer for two months and then go to Iowa for the spring semester. Matthew Kelsay is going to Iowa and plans on majoring in business with a minor in Chinese and an international business certificate. Eventually he will be working in the automobile industry overseas. Go class of 2010! Jeff Kemp is going to Iowa and plans on a majoring in theater....next Jim Carrey comin’ at ya :) Jaclyn Kessler plans on going to Iowa State to do something with agriculture. Hongkook Kim plans on attending a university in Iowa or a community college after graduating West High school. Sieon Kim is going to the University of Iowa and majoring in pre-medicine. Brian Kistler will be attending the University of Iowa studying business management where one day he will start his own bike shop business (if he doesn’t make it to the NBA, that is.) He also plans on keeping in touch with all his friends and continuing to stay in love with his girlfriend Claire Yetley. Ryan Klatt plans on attending the University of Iowa and eventually majoring in either finance or some type of business. Brookelyn Klemesrud is going to Kirkwood. Melissa Kuhl plans to attend Kirkwood for two years for equestrian (horse) science programs. Afterward, she plans on going to ISU for four years to become a large animal vet. From there, she’ll be somehow involved in competing horses…maybe train the next Kentucky Derby winner? She’s probably not staying in Iowa for long, the winters are dreadful.

Alex Kuntz plans on attending the University of Northern Iowa. He plans to pursue a degree in science and science education. Jungho Kwon will attend the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign with an intended major in computer science. He plans on studying abroad in France for a year. However, his plans may change. Mitchell Kwon will go to ISU, major in mechanical engineering and go to law school to become a lawyer, stack money and rule the world. Ogi Kwon will attend Washington University in St. Louis and will major in political science. Samantha Lage plans to go to Kirkwood Community College in Cedar Rapids for a liberal arts degree in science, then transfer to Iowa State for chemical engineering. Andrea Larson is going to Kirkwood in C.R. and is planning on going into the paramedic program. Christopher Lauer plans to attend Iowa State University. Mickenzie Lawler will be going to Iowa. She will be a health and sports studies major with a health promotions track. After that she plans on going into physical therapy. Ezra Layman Is going into the U.S.M.C. Born to kill!!! Christine Lee will attend Savannah College of Art and Design in Atlanta, Georgia. She will major in art. Brian Lentz plans to enroll at the University of Southern California in either the fall or spring. He will participate in marching band, club sports and anything else that catches his eye. Once a Trojan, always a Trojan. Eric Less plans to travel the world on his moped making his way to every Wal-mart ever built surviving for free by sleeping on displays, stealing his meals, cooking meals in display microwaves and siphoning gas from cars in the parking lot so he can continue on his way in life. Abigail Leveille will be attending Lawrence University (Appleton, WI) next fall to study theatre and biology. She plans to become a muppet or speech pathologist. Wangyang Li will be attending Boston University in the fall of 2010 as a biology major and a vocal performance minor. His goal is to sing his way to stardom and eventually have a down time in his career where he will be working three jobs to make ends meet, or become a doctor. Mindy Lingel plans to attend the University of Iowa after high school and hopes to major in medicine. Allison Link will be attending Georgetown University to hang out with Obama at Hoya basketball games.

art by marco cacho

Micayla Lipcamon will be attending Kirkwood. Michael Lipman will attend Stanford University in California to study engineering. Nikole Lockhart plans to attend University of Northern Iowa to be an elementary teacher. Ting Lu is going to the University of Iowa this fall. Astrid Ludwig plans on attending College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA. Mackenzie Lytle is going to the Aveda Institute Des Moines next year to get her cosmetology license. It’ll take about 18 months. After that she plans to take business classes back here in Iowa City. Neil Madsen will be a student-athlete (baseball) at Des Moines Area Community College (DMACC). Justin Mahar plans on going to Kirkwood next year to become a chef. Sammantha Marks will be attending the University of Iowa with an undecided major and a Spanish minor. In the long run, she hopes to be an orthopedic surgeon and work with professional athletes. Mazal tov, Class of 2010! Natalie Mason plans to go to Central College for pre-pharmacy. While at Central she will be playing volleyball and running track. Andrea Matthews is going to Iowa State for culinary science then after she gets her degree, she’ll go to pastry school. Then she’ll be a pastry chef on a tropical cruise line. After that, at 28, she’ll write a cook book then at 35 she’ll get her own show on Food Network. Molly McConnell has no idea what she wants to be when she grows up, but is very excited to attend Mizzou in Columbia, Missouri next year. Sophie McDougall will be attending the University of Iowa. Paul McGowan is going to Iowa. Going into business management. Should be fun. Christopher McKinney is going to Kirkwood then transferring to UNI for a degree in business and going to Kirkwood for a culinary arts degree to become a chef. Lucas McLeran is going to Beloit. Cody Means wants to go to Kirkwood for two years then transfer on to the U of I to get his bachelor’s degree in teaching. He wants to be a social studies teacher. Brittany Meints plans to attend the University of Nebraska and study either radiation science or nursing. Jean Mejia plans to attend Kirkwood Community College in the fall for generals and then will transfer to the U of I with an interest in journalism. Jare Mendoza is planning to attend Kirkwood Community College in the fall( law enforcements as a major) work and will visit her dad which is in Ecuador - her home country.

Ashley Miller is going to La James for cosmetology and taking businesses classes to go to a four year school after she finishes that. Lindsey Mirabito plans to study business at the University of Missouri. Michael Missen will be attending Iowa State University and training to be a part of the U.S. bideting team. Marshal Moellers plans on venturing to the University of Iowa to pursue a higher education. Nick Moore will be attending Iowa and will wrestle there. Sean Moore is attending DMACC in Boone, IA to play baseball. Stephen Moore is going to Kirkwood in CR for two years, then to a four year college. Danielle Morgan will go to transition services center by the Eastdale Plaza for vocational skills and job training. Catherine Morita is planning to attend Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut where she will study everything. Steve Morton is going to Iowa State University to study computer science for four years and then he will become a an instant billionaire and retire at the age of 25. Rashid Moss will go to Kirkwood, and then be a business man. Jennifer Moy is going to the University of Iowa with an open major for now but she wants to do something that involves art or writing. Grace Murray plans on swimming and studying engineering at Washington University in St. Louis next year. Go Bears! Mary Mysnyk will be attending the University of Northern Iowa to study elementary education. Xiangyu Na will go to Kirkwood for accounting. Matan Nadler plans on attending Iowa State University and being a business major. He will also be playing hockey for Iowa State. Good talk. Christopher Narvaez is going into the Air force. Carly Natvig is going off to college in North Carolina. She’s just not sure what school yet! Arlyn Nelsen is going to eat some pizza. Tapoa Nelson will be attending UNI. Michael Neustrom is going to K-wood and livin’ it up! James Nichols will attend the University of Iowa College of Engineering with an undecided major. Nicholas Nielson is planning on going to the University of Iowa and probably majoring in pre-med. Erin Niles is going to Luther and going to nursing school. Jacob Nolan is attending the prestigious Kirkwood University with Sir Jake Ross-

Sheehy. Blah blah liberal arts degree blah. More importantly - Sarah Dirks, will you marry me? Sarah Noser will start at the University of Iowa college of business after a summer of saving lives at various pools in this community. Following a Chicago internship and graduation, she would like to attend law school. She plans to become a philanthropist and donate a swimming pool to West. Donald Nye will be attending Iowa State University and will probably do something with math or computer programming. Gaelle Nzombo plans on attending Luther College in the fall! James O’Donnell plans to attend Princeton University and major in molecular Biology. He’ll probably go on to graduate school and eventually work in research science. Betsy Paige is gonna be kickin’ it in IC going to Kwood and working at Momo’s. She’s moving out in August to live with Lauren Williams! After two years, she’s transferring out of state. Emma Palmer will be attending UNI and is glad to know that she will be there with a bunch of her high school friends, but she’s also excited to meet new people and visit a different atmosphere. High school was fun and there are amazing people and teachers that she will never forget. She feels ready to go to college now. Jooyeon (Julia) Park is planning on studying biomedical engineering at the University of Iowa next year. Jooyi (Jenny) Park is attending the University of Iowa and plans to major in Psychology. Jessica Patten will be attending the University of Iowa to major in mechanical engineering and minor in Spanish. Jared Payne plans on attending the University of Miama in Coral Gabler, FL to major in international studies and minor in architecture. Rachael Pedrick is going to Kirkwood Community College and will major in culinary arts and bakery. She hopes to one day open her own bakery that will hopefully get discovered by Oprah so she can make big money! Brandan Penaluna will attend the U of Iowa, get chicks, have fun and study medicine in college. Ashley Pettit plans to attend the University of Iowa with an open major. Emily Pettit is planning to go to the University of Iowa; she has no idea what she’s going to major in - something along the lines of art, history or environmentalism. Joseph Pettit will attend the University of Iowa, go on RAGBRAI this summer and carve a niche of the world for himself. Deontae Pierre is going to Kirkwood and partying.

art by marco cacho

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sports studs Check out these senior athletes that are planning to continue playing their sport at a division one school next year. compiled by lauren parsons and alli pitlick

christiana fairfield Volleyball School: West Point Academy Position: Setter Best high school memory of sport: The semi-final game against Kennedy because it was very intense - it could not have been any closer.

micaela haight Track and Field School: University of Iowa Events: Shot put, discus and maybe hammer Best high school memory of sport: winning quarter final soccer game at the state tournaments last year in an overtime PK shootout.

chloe hoagland Track and field School: University of Iowa Events: 100’s and 200’s and relays for those distances Best high school memory of sport: Drake this year because she broke the all time Iowa sate record in the 4x100.

courtney fritz Track and field School: University of Iowa Events: Shot put, discus and maybe the hammer and javelin Best high school memory of sport: Being a state champion and going to the Drake Relays for three years.

andy holte Soccer School: Butler University Position: Goalkeeper Best high school memory of sport: Winning state in 2009.

jacob gannon nick arpey Soccer School: Colgate University Position: Midfielder Best high school memory of sport: Winning the state championship last year.

allex strang Soccer School: University of Iowa Position: Possibly defense - depends on tryotus. Best high school memory of sport: Semi finals last year at state.


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morgan gallagher Soccer School: University of Northern Iowa Position: Outside right defender Best high school memory of sport: Last year’s semi-finals when West won in PKs even though she couldn’t play due to an injury.

nick moore Wrestling School: University of Iowa Weight class: 160 Best high school memory of sport: Older kids doing a lot for him his freshman year and forming friendships.

Football School: Iowa State University Position: Offensive tackle Best high school memory of sport: Beating Waterloo West, it was the first win in two years.

jessica gehrke Volleyball and track School: Florida International Position: Outside hitter Events: Will be running short sprints: 100, 200, 400, relays and long jumping Best high school memory of sport: Semi-final game at state this year for volleyball and last year’s Drake Relays winning the long jump.



MACKENZIE REED runners up... Bob Brown Sara Stewart

best smile

runners up... Sharif Sa-Aadu Brooklyn Fenchel

most fly



most unique


JACOB GANNON runners up... Jamal Thompson Mackenzie Reed runners up... Sam Gilbaugh Sonya Zhu


runners up... Matt Pierson Kate Feldmann

most beastly CHET FLAUM

runners up... Chet Flaum Maddy Abel

most creative

MVP wasn’t a category that the seniors voted on, but was instead compiled by the WSS. In the simplest terms, the MVPs are the two seniors that were voted for in several or most of the categories, but didn’t end up winning a title. However, we thought it important to recognize them as an important part of the senior class.




146 students surveyed compiled by kerri sorrell and chet flaum photos by kerri sorrell, lauren parsons and lilli oetting

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runners up... Eric Less Katie Ashoff

superlatives MADDY ABEL

class clown



most changed MICHAEL LIPMAN

runners up... Sharif Sa-Aadu Taylor Austin


runners up... BK Penaluna Alexa Sowers

biggest flirt

runners up... Jared Payne Zana Barjric

BK PENALUNA runners up... Frank Canady Molly McConnell runners up... Jamie O’Donnell and Rachel Schenkel


best couple that never was 32 the last story


most driven

biggest drama queen runners up... Curt Oren Ciara Boyer



most huggable

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Matthew Pierson will get gnarly every day and shred it up. He will be attending hobo school of failure at life. Allison Pitlick is excited to go to ISU! Don’t hate. Jude Plank is doing the two plus two program starting out at Kirkwood and is trying to get a civil engineering degree at Iowa. Michelle Pluth is going to St. Olaf and will most likely have a biomedical concentration. Ryan Raaf will be attending the University of Iowa. David Rachke will betray Iowa next fall and attend the University of Illinois at ChampaignUrbana. Ricardo Rangel will be attending the Illinois Institute of Art in Chicago. There he will master the art of filmmaking before dropping out his junior year to become an independent director and pursue the super fame lifestyle . Megan Recker plans to go to the University of Northern Iowa and study elementary education, to some day become a second grade teacher. Mackenzie Reed is going to Coe College in Cedar Rapids to play basketball. Ross Reed is goin’ to Iowa! Livin’ it up! Kimaya Reese is going to Kirkwood for business. Asia Ricks will be a Kirkwood Eagle and be involved with the NIU program. Colton Rogers is going to Kirkwood for a semester and then will move in with his brother. Karl Rosenquist will study economics at Wheaton College in Illinois. Morgan Roskos will be attending the University of Iowa and double majoring in radiation sciences and business. Someday she hopes to be an obstetric and gynecological sonographer. Go Hawks! Gregory Ruckdaschel is going to the University of Iowa and eventually will succeed at life. Francis Rummelhart will be attending the University of Iowa. Joseph Ryken is going to Truman State University to play soccer. Sharif Sa-Aadu plans on attending Iowa State University. Rachel Schenkel is attending the University of Iowa to major in biomedical engineering with a pre-med focus. Joshua Schmitt is majoring in software engineering at Iowa State University. After getting a degree, he’d like to find a high-tech job on the West Coast. Whitney Schuette is going to run for Wartburg in Waverly, Iowa. Young Seol will concentrate on applied math, chemistry or economics at Brown University, continuing guaranteed to Brown’s Alpert Medical School through Brown’s program in


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liberal medical education. Andrew Seylar plans to attend Hawkeye Community College for the police science program and will transfer after the two years to the University of Northern Iowa for the remainder of his four years. Martin Shear will be attending Kirkwood. Chelsea Sherlock plans to attend the University of Northern Iowa, to study elementary education and administration. Aaron Sigmund will be attending the Jacobs School of Music at Indiana University, majoring in trumpet performance and minoring in jazz studies. Jonathan Skarda will attend Luther College in Decorah and major in world-domination with an emphasis on unicycle racing and will wrestle humans and any animals up to the challenge. Hannah Skopec will endure the rigid northern air at the University of Minnesota -Twin Cities while being a beast at chemistry. And lots of running, always. Jacob Sluka will be attending the University of Cincinnati for a five year intensive graphic design program. He’s going to be involved in two internships each year after his freshman year so he will be living all over the country, different parts of the country, twice a year for three months at a time. Kathryn Smith is attending the University of Iowa to double-major in dance and elementary education. Rachel Smith is attending the University of Northern Iowa and major in communication arts, more specifically electronic media and public relations. Scott Snyder going on to Kirkwood for two years to get his associate of applied science degree. Hyeong Jin Soh will attend the University of Iowa majoring in biochemistry. David Solis is going to NIU for wrestling next year and plans to study bio in college so he’s ready to go. Kerri Sorrell plans to attend Drake University ti double major in graphic design and magazines. She hopes that someday, somehow, she can regain some sort of motivation. Alexa Sowers is doing the two plus two program with Kirkwood and the University of Iowa. She plans on going into the medical program to become an x-ray technician. Alison Stephan is going to the University of Iowa and plans on majoring in radiation science. She will also be a Morale Captain Assistant with Sara Stewart for Dance Marathon 17. Group 40. Wohoo! Sara Stewart is attending the University of Iowa and majoring in nursing. After she graduates she hopes to become a pediatric nurse practitioner or physician’s assistant through more schooling. Go Hawks! She’s going to be a Morale Captain Assistant with Alison Stephan

for Dance Marathon. FTK! Troy Stoll plans on attending Kirkwood and going through their culinary art program to become a chef. Matthew Stoner is going to Kirkwood Community College for his gen. eds and then will find another school from there. Jessica Stramel is doing the two year transfer program with Kirkwood and Iowa. She is going to get her RN degree in nursing and then specialize after that. Hopefully one day she will work as a surgical nurse or ER, intensive care nurse. Allex Strang plans to attend the University of Iowa where she will be playing soccer and major in pre-physical therapy. Andrew Stratton will be attending the University of Northern Iowa. Eric Streed is going to Grinnell College and will focus on some sort of science. Audrey Strike plans on attending Drake University in Des Moines to study pharmacy. Megan Stroback is going to Kirkwood Community College for early childhood education. She also would like to continue learning DJing skills. Her dream is to be an electro house/minimal techno DJ. Lisa Stroud is going to the Salon Professional Academy. Joe Strub will be going to Iowa State University. He’ll have an undeclared engineering major and he’ll be rooming with Chris Lauer to continue the dynasty. He still hates the Cyclones and he’ll always be a Hawkeye. Emily Stumpff plans to go to UNI and major in secondary education with an endorsement in mathematics. Mariah Stutzman plans on going to Kirkwood. Maia Swanson will attend Bulter University to major in classical studes. Amanda Swygard plans to attend the University of Iowa. Original, right? She also plans to major in English. Perhaps after a year at Iowa, she will transfer to a smaller liberal arts college. Kui Tang will attend Colombia University in New York, NY majoring in computer science and take extra courses in math, French and economics. He hopes to work with start-up companies in NYC’s Silicone Alley and pursue his own entrepreneurship. Finally, he may obtain a computer science PhD and become a professor. Zachary Tanner will be attending Kirkwood. Gabe Teager will spend his summer playing golf, coaching Babe Ruth Baseball and wakeboarding. He will deploy for basic training for the air force mid July. Amina Terry will be attending Kirkwood CC for two years and transferring to the University of Iowa.

art by marco cacho

Amanda Thomas-Hasbrouck is planning on working and taking online classes to get her degree as a sign language interpreter. Jamal Thompson plans on playing football at Iowa Western Community College, and is looking to discover the Yeti that lives in Neil Madsen’s basement. Graham Tierney will be attending Carleton College as an undecided major, but is leaning somewhere in the social sciences. Perhaps law school (which should not surprise anyone) somewhere down the road, but he doesn’t have any definitive plans. Nicole Titus is going to the University of Iowa for pre-business. She is going to continue volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House and plans on getting involved in an intramural or club sport. Cristian Tomus will hopefully get a full-time job so he can save up enough money to move out this summer. He’s going to attend Kirkwood in August and will major in sociology. Vi Tran-Phan plans on attending the University of Iowa to study pharmacy in hopes of becoming a pediatric oncology pharmacist. Ben Troyer will be going to Kirkwood for two years than transferring to the UI to major in graphic design. Gabriela Uteg is going to attend the University

of Northern Iowa and will be majoring in interior design. Katherine Valde will attend the University of Iowa. Peter Van Voorhis is going to UNI to study psychology or sociology. Samuel Vance will begin his freshman year adventure at K-wood and is keeping the family farm. Hannah Vanhousen is going to Kirkwood to do the two plus two program and will focus on a foreign language. Kevin Ventura-Jimenez is moving into career connections to focus on specialized skills. Aishwarya Vijay plans to work as a counselor in a camp for kids with cancer, and after that, she is going on a trip across Europe. Next fall, she is off to Yale University, far, far away. She wants to wish everybody good luck in everything they do! Jessica Wagner is attending the University of Iowa. Her major will involve something with people/animals but for now it’s undecided. Hanna Wallace will be attending St. Ambrose in Davenport, IA. She wants to be a nurse, unsure of what type of nurse but maybe a traveling nurse or something in pediatrics. She also plans to minor in Spanish and do multiple studies abroad in various places. Maybe to

Ireland or somewhere in South America! Alex Wang plans to attend New York University in the fall and major in economics with a concentration in policy. After that, he plans to attend graduate medical school or business school. Allison Warren will spend the summer with her friends and her hot Ukrainian boyfriend. In the fall, she is going to Iowa and will major in _____. Christian Weaver is going to the University of St. Thomas in Minnesota for business and will play soccer there. Andrew Weber is going to ISU for mechanical engineering. Patrick Weeks will be attending Marquette University next year in Beertown, Wisconsin. Kelcy Weibel will be attending Iowa State University trying to figure our how to balance her interests in biology and English, while waiting for her pink castle to be built. Griffin Weihe is going to Loras to major in sports management. Calvin Weiss will attend the University of Iowa to study business and finance. He hopes to continue being involved with soccer. Colin Williams is not planning to attend a college or university after high school. Lauren Williams says “ya’ll know wassup.” art by marco cacho

Are you on facebook? Did you know... Facebook google to set to the setting on

may allow access info “everyone” your page.

Once you put it up, it’s Facebook’s property.

Stay safe online by: *Only posting appropriate pictures *Changing your privacy settings TO “FRIENDS” ONLY *Not sharing your number & Home/email address RVAP 24 hrs 335-6000 COUNSELING-INFORMATION-ADVOCACY the last story


Caitlin Wilson plans on conceiving a bi-racial baby immediately after her graduation from high school. She will then proceed to gain 200 pounds and move into a run-down trailer with a man named Bubba, who may or may not b e the father of her baby. With the support of welfare, food stamps, and other programs funded by the tax dollars of her respectable former classmates, she will enjoy a brief two years of watching NASCAR and Oprah on her compact television before her life is tragically cut short by the looming apocalypse of 2012 and/or emphysema. Nick Wilson will attend Dordt College in Sioux Center, Iowa (the middle of nowhere). He plans to play basketball, Vincent Wilson plans to go to Kirkwood to get the general requirements done and get the certification to be a forest fire fighter. Then, hopefully, he will transfer to the University of Idaho in Moscow, ID to pursue becoming a forest fire fighter, and work in a national forest. Grace Winstead plans to study nursing at Coe College. Jessica Wohlgemuth is going to the Illinois Institute of Art in Chicago to study culinary

management. Tkeyah Wright will attend Kirkwood Community College for two years and probably then transfer. She will try to get a job at a hospital since she attended the Kirkwood nursing course her senior year. Then after she finishes her schooling for nursing she is thinking about attending LeJames for cosmetology. Daniel Wu will attend the University of Notre Dame. He intends to go to med school and become a doctor. Afterwards, he plans on buying a house next to the ocean with a white picket fence as well as a convertible with which he will use to drive into the sunset. Joseph Yang will attend the University of Iowa with an interest in pharmacy. He plans to enjoy life and wants to live in a more consistent climate area. Claire Yetley is going to Iowa State (please no traitor comments.) Hopefully, she’ll be majoring in engineering (environmental or agricultural). She wants to do something helpful with the environment. Choonghum Yon will hang out with friends and celebrate the summer. Jaden Yordi plans on living his life as a gypsy and traveling wherever the wind takes him.

Mahmoud Yousif will go to transition services center by the Eastdale Plaza for vocational skills and job training. Hang Yuan is going to the University of Iowa. He is going to major in science (chemistry or biology.) His further goal is getting into dental school, so he will study hard in college. Also he is going to work in a biology lab when school starts. Keyan Zarei is going to the University of Iowa. He also plans on becoming a traveling gypsy and will learn to play the ukulele. John Zhang is attending the University of Iowa as a Mechanical Engineering major for the Fall of 2010. He’s planning on declaring a business minor as well. Hopefully, he’ll be able to procure a paying internship over the summer. Xian Zheng will study hard. Find an awesome job. Earn more money. Sonya Zhu will be visiting China this summer and attending Pomona College this fall, possibly majoring in psychology or anthropology. Joshua Zimmerman plans to attend Iowa State University, get a degree and make bank.

art by marco cacho

Spring Sports Award Program is Tomorrow in the Auditorium at 7 p.m. 28

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For some reason “Rude boy.” BY CAITLIN WILSON


n the stretch of a day, there are few things that make me sadder than Facebook. I log on and am met with the chaos that is the Facebook homepage. Banners and sidebars; updates and alerts; friend requests from people who’s existence I’ve only just become dimly aware of. I’ll click on the person’s name and scan their profile... political views?: kegger party woooooooooooooooot!!!!!!! sex?: yes plz ;) siblings?: *insert list of misspelled friend names here* children?: *insert list of misspelled friend names here, despite the fact that they are also your apparent siblings* No. You are not my friend, and I am not yours. To you, I am an opportunity to further hike your “Friend” count - which is already well into the hundreds. It used to be that I’d happily log


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onto Facebook, excitedly “LAWL”ing and “ :( “ing. More often than not I’d throw in a “o.O” or a “ROFLcopter” (wtf ?). Or I’d try to be cool and make up some punctuation Braille (colon, period, semicolon, period, period). But then, things began to go sour between Facebook and myself. Staring at the profile pictures and status updates of “friends” and people I enjoy cyber-stalking, I’d feel an onset of melancholy. That Facebook afterglow had been replaced by a feeling of hollowness - an understated restlessness. For some, Facebook is a gateway drug. They feel the same discontent. They want to know people deeper, explore their lives further than the world of Facebook allows. So they move on to harder drugs... namely Twitter. My own situation was different. The more I was learning about my peers, the more distance I felt. That quiet person I’d pass in the hall was now an individual with opinions and hobbies, wants and desires (sex?: yes plz ;). But we are all individuals: mostly unvarying in complexity, but unique in subtle respects. The fact is that there are many, many, many, many people on this planet - nearly seven billion. Seven billion is a number that keeps me awake at night. It’s a number I cannot even begin to fathom, a concept like infinity or god. Yet they are all there, all wanting to be heard, to hear

their voices rise above the din. I’ve been told that your connections are more important than your talent or potential. The more you network, the more you “Friend”, the greater your chances of success. But we do not know each other. We use one another to make our own voice heard, to secure our own place in the world, to become one IN a billion and not one OF a billion. But if you really think about it, you realize there are few people you care about. If love is measured in tears (I know that was corny, please keep reading) - I can count on one hand the people I’d cry for. And in the event I lose most of my fingers to - oh, I don’t know - rabid possums, I’d still have enough digits to suffice. Many people make superficial friendships. They surround themselves with people who do an awful lot of talking, but have absolutely nothing to say. So please, aim to have solid people in your life. If you have only one substantial relationship, you are in better company than most. Do your best to transcend the superficial obstacles that aim to waste your time. There are people who, at the close of their lives, feel an onset of melancholy. The afterglow fades and is replaced by a feeling of hollowness – an understated restlessness. They look back, and they regret. WSS


Makin’ a list, checkin it twice... “If BK says something in a forest but no women are around to hear it, is he still wrong?” BY CHET FLAUM


n public speaking (a rigorous English course I decided to take this year) we were given an assignment to come up with a speech about our pet peeves. As I was swamped with homework for the time being (I had just a few episodes of Modern Family to catch up on) I decided to wing it. Afterwards I kind of wished I had prepared for the speech because there are some pet peeves I realized I had afterwards that I’ve always wanted people to know. So here they are, better late than never. I hate when people walk really slow and really fast in the halls. I hate when freshmen who shouldn’t have their school permits in the first place don’t know when they do or don’t have the right of way.

I hate when people think they are really cool for finishing tests first and then get out a lot of papers and make a lot of noise so everyone will know they were the first one done. I hate constant fire drills. I hate intense PDA… like it’s disgusting, especially with certain people, and you know who I’m talking about. I hate when people use too much gel in their hair. I hate that students aren’t allowed to use the upstairs entrance to the library, I mean really there’s no logical purpose to have a door if we can’t use it. I hate when substitute teachers try to pretend that they know what they’re doing. I don’t mind when people sing along to songs in the car but I hate when people overpower the songs with their screeching excuse for

vocal chords. I like cats. I hate dogs. I hate when people pronounce milk “melk”, creek “crick” and, by far the worst, is picture “pitcher.” I hate when people say text lingo out loud like Bee Tee Dubbs, or ell oh ell. I mean seriously, if you say lol you are obviously not laughing out loud. I hate when people trip on the stairs and then try and fake like it never happened. You fell, it happened, deal with it. Overall, there are many ways to get on my nerves in this school. But I’ve gotten to know who to avoid and how to avoid most of these disturbances when I’m in a bad mood. After four years I’ve built up a decent immune system to the annoyances of immaturity. So on this last day of school I say try and annoy me; I cannot be defeated. Do it. WSS

My mother always said “Hi...” BY ALLI PITLICK


was an awful toddler. My mom always tells this story about how when I was two I would throw tantrums if my socks were not on right. You all know how when you put on a pair of socks there is that line that goes across your toes? Apparently, if the line was not straight across I would rip my socks off and throw a fit. So naturally my mom just thought to put the socks on, shove the shoes on top, good to go. Not so much. Being


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the stubborn kid I was (okay maybe still am) I ripped both off and cried even more. Another incident she will never let go is when I cried over a broken chip. As my mom stood at the stove cooking dinner and my large pumpkin head asked for a chip. She bent down to give me one but I would not have it. “IT’SSS BROOOOKEENN.” A broken chip. That’s it. That’s all it took to set me off. Oh yeah, and there was the time she spanked me at the mall and I laughed at her. I just want to apologize mom for how unpleasant I was as a child. But I suppose a few things can be learned from these episodes. One: What goes around comes around and there is a 117% chance my kids will be devil children. Two: Sometimes you just gotta deal with

it. If I am going to cry over a broken chip, I am probably not going to have good relations with the food services at ISU. Three: Hitting your child is not okay. Especially when they take it like a champ. Four: I am really not going to get what I want by crying anymore. As a toddler, crying is highly effective, maybe less into elementary school, on occasion into my teens. But next year I’m going to be on my own. My roommate is not going to care. But the good news is that in college you will have an opportunity to meet a bunch of new people and you can have a completely new group of people who will care about you and be there for you. WSS

Sleep: The forgotten frontier “Baby, baby, baby, ohh” BY JAMIE O’DONNELL As someone who took far too many AP tests, I’ve had lots of experience with sleep and lack thereof (mostly the latter). I certainly haven’t gotten the 8-10 hours of sleep each night researchers recommend for teenagers. However, preaching about the need for educational reform is pointless, so I’ll focus on the practical aspects of how to deal with a lack of sleep. One method I found useful when overwhelmed was to make sure I got at least a few full nights of sleep a week. I felt much less tired sleeping four hours one night and eight the next than six each night. Sometimes it’s worth it to procrastinate in favor of a good chunk of sleep. You’ll work more efficiently when you feel less tired. I’m also a strong advocate of the “sleeping early and getting up early” method of finishing assignments. Work tends to expand or shrink to fill the amount of time allotted to it. While it was easy to stay up late chatting with people and idly wandering through Wikipedia, knowing another half an hour doesn’t matter, when I had a fixed amount of time left before school it became much easier to pace myself. Working in the morning, I was focused and didn’t get bogged down in indecision and petty details. Note that this strategy is not very good for cramming. Researchers have found that people remember much more if they study before they sleep; sleep serves to incorporate memories so that they can be easily accessed later. Sleep deprivation, regardless of when you studied, is especially costly on free response questions. It makes it very difficult to think of novel approaches to a problem if one solution doesn’t work. Sleep doesn’t just affect your mind, though. I dropped 15 points on my pacer test after a trimester of PE because I had only slept four hours the night before the second run. Sleep deprivation also affects social aspects of life – when I’m tired, I become more irritable and less funny. Sleeping enough is a major asset in school, and an easy way to do better than people who work harder than you. I learn very little when I’m so tired my eyes keep closing and all I can think about is when the period is over. When I feel rested, paying attention is easy because my mind is looking for something to think about. Sleep can transform what you consider a deeply boring class into something you excel in and find at least mildly interesting. I highly recommend it. WSS

To... “Classysauce?” BY KERRI SORRELL …to Mr. Scott, for being the sickest PE teacher ever. …to the librarians, for never physically harming any of the WSS staff members. …to Mr. Herman, for being the best science teacher I never had. …to BABESKKKAMMMP, for the most ridiculous acronym ever. …to the hot janitor, for…being hot. …to Mr. Frese, for never realizing that the real reason I dropped your class was because of your obnoxiously titled posters. …to my Chicago 2008 roommates, for showing me the proper way to guard against sexual assault. …to FB. You know who you are and why you’re in here. …to Mrs. Shullaw, for being more argumentative than I am. It’s been fun. …to the best show of my life. BEDAZZLE! …to set crew, for being the only people EVER to let me use power tools. …to Mr. Lindsay, for your secret stash of jolly ranchers that I stole frwhat? Who said that? Not me. …to Audrey Keranen, for making this column extremely easy. …to Mitchell, for nights around the campfire. …to Kyle at the Ronald McDonald House, for letting me restock the vending machines. …to Johnson, for assignants. …to Movie Night Crew. Maybe someday we’ll actually watch a movie. …to Mr. Carlson, for Taylor Austin. …to the Medds. What could I not thank you for? …to the Smudge, from Sheri Morrell. …to Sam Gilbaugh, for being the most staggering person I know. …to Gross, for keeping me focused on the little details. …to the Florida band trip, because we’re on the monorail. The monorail! …to Jeremy Meier for keeping me company and to Cory Burkholder for never actually saying anything, and never forgetting your hat. You’re the best janitors ever. ...to Aaron Sigmund, for April 17th, the day I learned what friendship was. …to the Europe crew, because I’m really excited. …to Coach Stumpff, for making early bird so sassy. …to my Monica’s girls, for having zero jokes that are appropriate to print. …to Sara, Papa Sara and Baby Sara?? Yes??????????????????????? …to Annafriend, Karisfriend and Graham. You know what? …to the posse, for fancy (and not so fancy) pants. …to Tyson, for playing along. …to the Nicholsons, for being the most beautiful and inspiring people there ever were. …to Allison, for being indirectly mentioned in this column 7 times, and deserving many more. …to the WSS staff, for making me work as hard as you guys do. Rock stars, all of you. …to my parents, for never giving any of my animals away to the animal shelter. Thank you. WSS

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things you forgot to It’s been a long four years, seniors, and because we’re getting sentimental, it’s time to take a trip down memory lane. Below are a few things we thought it essential for you to remember.


not having lockers

life before the band wing

We got way closer to our classmates than we ever wanted freshman year when the school failed to order enough lockers for our incoming class. Seems like a simple concept, no? Apparently not. I’ve never felt so much like a sardine in my life. Thanks, West High administration.

Another situation which brought us awkwardly close to our classmates: the old band room. Getting through the instrument storage room every day required obstacle course skills unbeknownst to man at the time, and avoiding a sprained ankle became a daily necessity. However, with the four million dollar band wing addition our sophomore year, our safety was no longer in jeopardy. Knew the cost had to be justified somehow.

the salsa dance Very few of you will remember this once-annual Student Senate event. In fact, exactly 13 of you will remember it, because that’s how many people attended the obviously un-hip social occasion. Wish I had known that BEFORE my wasted Friday night. Yep...

the hot janitor He probably had a name (we’re certain of it, in fact), but everyone knew exacty who was being talked about when those three words were uttered. The highlight of every freshman girl’s year, the hot janitor made the daunting hallways of West High seem a little more welcoming. Whether he was struttin’ by with a broom, riding the zamboni down the hall or taking out the trash, Eric Dillerd did it with style. The disappointment felt upon his lack of return sophomore year was more crippling to our morale than AP Euro.


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art by chet flaum WSS file photo

the f i rst guys with beards This award goes to a few notable cats who got an advanced start on puberty. They didn’t have any control over their facial hair development, but we still appreciate their manliness. Winners of this prestigious award are Keyan Zarei, Joseph Pettit and Christian Tomas. Congrats guys.

when the football team won ...oh wait.

mr. lindsey and mr. frese’s rap career Their message was simple: you got 99 problems, but English ain’t one. The reason they put their spittin’ skills on hold? A little less clear. Oh the tradgedies of unfulfilled potential.

I made my f riend sick because I fi lled up a cup for pon g with toilet water .

t e r c e s t pos

you’d e r o w s u o ething y m o s e n o iors to n e s Ever d d e k s We a , dark ? p l l e e e t d r r e i v e ne bmit th u s y l s u High. o t s m e y n W o t n n a a ir time e h t m o r f secrets eived. c e r e w t a here is wh compiled

I hid 1 arm 00 y me the n in libr ary photos by sarah dirks compiled by alli pitlick

I wish i e v a h d l u o w e r o m d e t a d . s y o b e t i h w ick

by alli pitl

in e r o c s test a d e g k to o o b I chan e d n gra e p o n a y 4.0 m p e e k

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art by chet flaum


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