West Georgia Woman Magazine November 2015

Woman

November 2015

West Georgia

TM

Cassie Wright A survivor's story

Cross Country and Across Town Grace Clements is in it to win it

Holiday Pets Keeping them

safe and happy 1

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This publication is dedicated in loving memory of

Tristan Alexander Brooks

May 15, 1993 - September 1 7, 2015

He will remain forever in our hearts...

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5 What’s inside...

10 Fight Like a Girl 18 A Letter From the Heart 32 5 Gifts to Give Yourself Does Your Garden 40 How Grow In November?

47 49 51

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Practice Money Mindfulness Thanksgiving Traditions A Different Kind of Housing Crisis Pet Stress

In Every Issue:

26 She’s Got Game 34 She Said/He Said 36 Daily Fare 6

43 Celebrate Her Success 52 Ever After 61 Wee Said

It’s about being Southern! Y’all ...

There are certain things that Southerners just know and appreciate about the South. Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, grits, etc. make up “a mess.” Only a Southerner can show you or point out to you the general direction of “over yonder.” Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is – as in: “going into town, be back directly.” Even Southern young-un’s know that “gimme some sugar” has nothing to do with that little white bowl in the middle of the table. Most all Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is, they may not frequently use the term, but they know the concept well. True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got some trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. And if the neighbor’s trouble is a real concern, they know to add a large bowl of banana pudding!

Southerner’s grow up knowing that “just down the road” could be 1 or 20 miles. A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb or an adverb. Only a Southerners make friends while standing in line. They don’t do “queues,” they do “lines”; and when “in line,” they talk to everyone. Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if by marriage only. Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon or sausage, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red-eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. And a true Southerner knows not to be yellin’ at little old ladies who drive 30 mph on the highway; you just say “Bless her heart,” and go on your way. And for those of you who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, y’all need a sign to hang on your front porch that reads, “I ain’t from the South but I got here as fast as I could.” Bless your hearts!

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One Dream Made a Reality I began my journey with West Georgia Woman magazine about two years ago when I started mulling this idea around in my head about creating a magazine for women in the area. Almost every local glossy magazine seemed to have only men as editor or publisher, or both, and much of the content did not appeal to me on a personal level as a woman.

I wanted to create a magazine that would showcase the women of West Georgia and their multitude of amazing strengths, talents and abilities. I felt there were too many women out there in our communities doing fantastic things, and no one had ever heard of them!

So here I was with this idea, but I had no clue how to go about creating this valuable resource for women. I tossed the idea around multiple times over the last two years with a dear childhood friend of mine, Shala Hainer, a fabulously talented writer and copy editor and a magnificent human being, who had experience creating and editing magazines in Georgia and South Carolina.

In January 2015, I began the planning stages of the magazine. In July, after much thought and prayer, I finally realized if I was going to do this, I had to take a huge leap of faith and dive right in, sink or swim. So I began to work on West Georgia Woman magazine full time.

Last year, I met an extremely talented graphic designer, Andi Stewart, through her mother Cathy Stewart, who is one of the most wonderful women I’ve ever met. Andi, who is an amazing young woman, graciously agreed to help me begin this journey.

Both Shala and Andi have been absolutely awe-inspiring during this entire process, and I will forever be grateful to them for diving head first into this deep, uncharted abyss with me. Thank you so much, ladies. I truly feel like the luckiest woman in the world to be able to work with these two amazing ladies every day.

This Issue November is National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness and Family Caregivers month. The number of people affected by this devastating disease is astounding. On Oct. 13, 2014, my fiancé Dan’s mother, Caroline Louise Nelson Keever, passed away after suffering with Alzheimer's for several years. I wish I had known her before Alzheimer's and the medications she had to take for the disease reduced her to someone less than who she was. Based on conversations with Dan and the rest of her family, she was a beautiful person and a wonderful wife and mother. May she rest in peace.

I met Cassie Wright, the amazing woman on the cover of our first edition, in June 2014. She is a skilled physical therapist and an inspiring woman. Not only is she facing her own battle with breast cancer, but she and her husband David are also struggling with David’s early onset Alzheimer's disease. Cassie truly embodies the extraordinary power of the human spirit, and I believe she is very deserving to be on the first cover of West Georgia Woman.

The last 10 months have been enlightening for me, although challenging in many ways. When I began this journey, I had no idea my family and I would be dealing with one of the worst life-altering tragedies imaginable. In September, I lost my precious nephew Tristan, a wonderful young man who was like my own son. As you read my story about my deep sense of loss and grief after his tragic death and the celebration of the person he was, please say a prayer for Tristan and our family. The only reason I was able to get up every morning and keep going was to dedicate this publication to Tristan. I want you to know him and know what a special person he was to many. Please take some time to read about him. He was a beautiful young man inside and out, and losing that sweet and wonderful boy will affect us for the rest of our lives.

Many Thanks I cannot fully express my immense gratitude to our valuable advertisers who jumped on board to support this publication — sight unseen. It has truly been an honor to work with all of these amazing advertisers over the years who I consider dear friends. I want to thank them for believing in my dream, and, most importantly, I want to thank each one of them for their kind words, helpful suggestions, and their excitement and encouragement. Without their investment, this publication would not be possible. Please patronize these businesses and tell them you read about them in West Georgia Woman magazine.

I want to thank my fiancé Dan Keever, my children Zachary and Sydney Dailey, my parents Kin and Charlene Brooks, and my brother William Brooks for their support and encouragement during this incredible journey. I also owe my deepest and most sincere gratitude to Drs. Fred and Anne Richards for having faith in me and in this publication, for their encouragement and for always being in my corner. My life is so much better because I have all of you in it.

I would also like to take a moment to thank you for reading this publication. I would love to hear your thoughts about this issue as well as any suggestions regarding content for future publications. Your opinion is extremely important to me, and I sincerely hope you enjoy reading this publication as much as we enjoyed creating our first issue for you.

Here’s to you, women of West Georgia. I look forward to being a part of your lives for many years to come.

To Womanhood,

Publisher

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Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference.

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West Georgia Woman is a voice for and about the women who live and work in West Georgia.

Our mission is to engage, inspire, and cultivate a cohesive community for all women in West Georgia by sharing our hopes, our dreams and our lives.

This magazine would not be possible without the inclusion of our advertisers. Please be sure to show your support by doing business with these VIP’s (very important partners) so we will be able to continue to share with you our stories about amazing West Georgia Women! Please be sure to tell them we sent you!

Woman

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West Georgia Woman is a monthly publication of Angel Media, LLC. All contents of this issue are copyright 2015. West Georgia Woman magazine, its logo and “Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference.” are trademarks of Angel Media, LLC. All rights reserved.

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Volume 1 • Issue 1 November 2015

Publisher/Editor

Angela Dailey angela@westgeorgiawoman.com Copy Editor/ Contributing Writer Shala Hainer

Creative Director/ Graphic Design Andi Stewart

Photographer for Cover and Pages 2&3 Rachel Dobson

Editorial Contributors Susan Cantrell and Julie Culpepper

Angela Brooks Dailey, publisher of West Georgia Woman, has lived in West Georgia most of her life and has a deep love and appreciation for the area. She received her B.B.A in management from the University of West Georgia in Carrollton, Ga., and is a civil and domestic relations mediator and arbitrator registered with the Georgia Office of Dispute Resolution. She lives in Carrollton and has two wonderful children, Zachary and Sydney Dailey.

She is engaged to Dan Keever, also a Carrollton resident. Angela enjoys reading, spending time with her children and extended family and loves to watch her daughter play soccer.

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FIGHT like a

Girl

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A raw, inspirational journey through Alzheimer’s and breast cancer

by Shala Hainer, Contributing Writer

C

assie Wright is in a fight for her life. She's battling breast cancer, and she's winning.

Amazingly, this isn't her most brutal conflict. That title belongs to the skirmishes she has fought daily for four years as she grasps fiercely for those elusive moments of true lucidity from her husband who is living with Alzheimer's disease.

Alzheimer's disease creates dramatic changes in the lives of the entire family, not just the patient. Small tasks often taken for granted can become overwhelming.

"Yard work is something my husband has done our whole marriage together, but now he can't remember how to do it," Cassie gives as an example. "I try to tell him what to do, but if I give more than one instruction, he can't remember them all and we both get upset."

In spite of her life's challenges, Cassie continues to work as a physical therapist with Physiotherapy Associates in Carrollton, Ga. With her career that's pushing four decades, Cassie finds strength and comfort in the knowledge that she's making a difference in her patients' lives.

"I love what I do," she says. "It's something very special to help people have extraordinary lives, to help them do things they want to do and do them happily.

"One thing in my job I know for sure is that if patients have an illness or injury, there are certain things I can do to get them to that stage where they start taking charge of their lives and feeling better physically and emotionally. It's an encouragement to me."

Her husband, David, now 64, doesn't yet require full-time care, and he finds com-

fort in Cassie working on a schedule he's been familiar with for years. Daily routines help David remain on an even keel.

"I thought about taking time off my job or retiring early to be with my husband," Cassie explains. "I finally realized that wasn't the answer. Some people might think that's selfish of me, but it's better for him to keep a regular routine."

The National Institutes of Health records a large burnout rate with Alzheimer's caregivers as well as problems with depression, and they strongly encourage caregivers like Cassie to step away and recharge – to keep living while they work to keep their loved one comfortable and safe.

The work routine helps Cassie as much as David, enabling her to take care of herself so she can better take care of him.

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Photos by Rachel Dobson "Work is a relief in a lot of ways. It's something I can control and where I can find happiness and fulfillment."

Life-Changing Diagnosis Alzheimer's disease, which affects more than 5 million people nationwide, doesn’t bring on instant change, according to the Alzheimer's Association. Those closest to people with Alzheimer's notice small things first, such as absentmindedness.

With David, the symptoms started in 2008 with anxiety and an inability to grasp new concepts during training as part of his real estate career.

By 2011, the short-term memory loss became more pronounced. "My "ah-ha" moment was after he left the doctor and 12

called me while he was driving, upset over how the appointment went," Cassie says.

"He looked down and saw the bandage on his arm where they had drawn blood, but he didn't remember giving blood."

David was diagnosed with Alzheimer's shortly after that incident.

The diagnosis was a hard blow. Edging toward retirement, the couple had plans for their future that included enjoying time with their two children and two grandchildren. The news devastated Cassie – the entire future she had planned with her husband was ripped away in a split second.

"I realized all the things we wanted to do as we grew older together weren't going to happen," she remembers. "This person I loved was starting to forget me. By 2012,

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he would talk about me in the third person while talking to me."

David started having mood swings, couldn't remember her, and even ran her out of the house several times in the middle of the night because he didn't know who that person was in the bed beside him. After 37 years of marriage, not being recognized by a mate is difficult to accept.

She recalls feeling defensive and a bit insulted that he could forget her so easily, but she took a step back to retrain her focus on him. "I had to let go of my feelings and help him remember some of the elements of his day and our relationship, and give him continuity. I realized we needed a regular schedule every day to keep him calm."

People who care for loved ones with Alzheimer's disease often struggle to keep their personal feelings out of their role as caregiver, says the Alzheimer's Association. It's typically difficult to rationalize that the disease is causing bad or hurtful behavior; the person isn't in control of those actions, which arise from irreversibly damaged nerve cells in the brain.

Disappointing Options

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An Alzheimer's diagnosis is tough to accept, and Cassie searched for the best treatment for her husband. To her disappointment, truly effective treatments aren't readily available. Some treatments help delay the disease's progression and treat

“I realized all the things we wanted to do as we grew older together weren't going to happen.”

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symptoms such as anxiety, but no cure exists.

The Alzheimer's Association notes that a mixture of treatments that include medication, environmental changes and other non-medical options such as dietary changes often provide the best symptom management for the disease.

"I'm disturbed by the fact that they don't have a more aggressive way of treating it," she says. "For my husband, to keep him on an even keel where his emotions and activities are as close to normal as possible, we have to use medication. They don't know how to stop Alzheimer's. I thought surely they could do more things now."

She took David to a hospital that offers a memory care specialty, but she once again had to swallow her disappointment. The facility exists mainly to perform research on the disease to continue seeking a cure.

"I wasn't looking for a total fix, but I feel like certain things can be managed better, perhaps more holistically, but that's not mainstream."

Instead of giving into disappointment, Cassie reached deep inside and found the strength to take charge where she could: giving her husband the best, and most normal, life possible. With the support of her family and research about the disease, she implemented tools to help David continue functioning and to help her care for him more effectively.

Her Own Battle But fate wasn't finished dealing Cassie devastating blows. Earlier this year, she discovered she had breast cancer.

"My first impulse was 'why is there another thing put on my plate. Why am I getting something extra?'" Reality began to set in for her as she filled out the necessary paperwork and the medical billing employee asked if Cassie wanted to put her husband as her emergency contact.

"I lost it," she says. "I was facing something really big, and he couldn't wrap his head around it. I felt alone taking on this journey."

She thinks creatively when helping David remember and understand what she's going through. Prior to treatment, the family discussed the breast cancer diagnosis and the treatment schedule.

"My husband could grasp I had cancer, and every day he would ask, 'How is your leukemia?' He couldn't keep breast cancer in his head."

He had trouble remembering her treatment stages, so she created a simple timeline she posted on the refrigerator. It starts with the diagnosis and marks each major event in Cassie's recovery. "I fill it in with yellow marker so he has an idea where we are in the process, but he still can't really grasp it and keep it without the timeline," she explains.

Cassie draws on the power of prayer, her inner core of strength and the support of her family to help her cope with being a cancer patient while continuing to care for David.

"I always say what we're dealing with is no different than if you had uncontrolled blood pressure, you're missing a leg, or

you're blind," she says. "We have to adapt to whatever happens and keep our lives as close to what we want to them be."

Finding Time for Herself She credits her children and her father with helping her and giving her some time for herself so she can focus on healing and simply living. "My children have been wonderful to support me so well, to make sure I get opportunities to do what I love. They know if I don't take care of me, my health will suffer."

Her children help care for their father some evenings when Cassie has meetings – she's active in groups such as the Pilot Club – or feels like playing tennis or tending to her garden.

"I love to play tennis, and I normally play two to three days per week," she says. "I'm not quite back to that schedule since I'm still going through radiation treatment. It makes me tired. But I have incredible tennis friends. They started out as people to play tennis with, and they grew into great friends to help me through this journey."

She knows making time for herself is essential in her roles as caregiver, mother, grandmother and physical therapist. "I realize although I'm doing radiation right now, there's no guarantee, and there's at least a 30 percent chance something else can happen. I can't control that. I just have to think about what I want my life to look like, how can I be happy and content, what are my priorities, 15

and the simplest way to carry that out every day."

Looking Toward the Future Her cancer treatment is progressing ll, and her prognosis is good. Cassie well, continues to prepare for the future, even though it looks very different than she and David imagined it would.

"I made a bucket list, but at this point, there are things my husband will never be able to do with me. So I have one for us right now, and one for me later when he can't share it with me."

She stays current on changes hanges she can expect in David's condition through the Alzheimer's Association website and their Facebook page, where they post frequent updates. She ďŹ nds their videos explaining the stages of the disease especially helpful.

"I keep a simple journal with a timeline so I can see the changes in him a little more readily," she says. "We're preparing 16

for the future. My kids and I have interviewed several locations for his placement. When he gets to a point where he's difďŹ cult to deal with, I could be in physical danger. Medicine keeps that at bay for now, but it might not always."

Although not all Alzheimer's patients become aggressive or violent, it's a common symptom of the disease, according to the Mayo Clinic. It often stems from the confusion and frustration the person experiences from problems processing information and the inability to communicate feelings and concerns effectively.

Just as she was upfront with David about her breast cancer diagnosis, Cassie has been supportive but honest with him about Alzheimer's disease, assuring him she will always do everything she can for him. "I told him that if he continued to lose his memory and doesn't know me or anybody else, he won't have the same worries other people do. Every day will just happen."

Cassie speaks from the heart about caring for David, and how hard it truly is, but she maintains her identity and chooses to focus on living well in spite of the challenges. She knows that her life, and the lives of her children, aren't over, even though David's is beginning to decline.

"It would be easy to give up and say, 'I'm done,'" she says. "But I have my family, and making my decision to move here to West Georgia was the best thing we ever could have done, not knowing this was coming down the road."

She focuses on her priorities, and tries not to dwell on what could have been.

"If I can't have everything I thought I would, I want to make sure I do things my children and grandchildren will remember. People need to be aware that if something happens to them, other people will get left behind, but they have to live their lives."

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Photo by: Rachel Dobson

A Letter From the Heart An in-depth look at loss, and a celebration of a beautiful life

By Angela Dailey My nephew, Tristan Alexander Brooks, only 22 years old, full of life, love and laughter, passed away on Sept.

17, 2015. A beautiful fall day full of warmth and sunshine became a day filled with cold and bleak mourning for our family. There was no warning, no time for goodbyes. He was just gone. Forever.

As I write about Tristan, it has been 14 days since his death. It still feels like the first day – except on the first day, I felt as if this wasn't really happening. It was so surreal knowing he wasn't alive any longer. We have now laid him to rest, and I am 100 percent sure I'm not dreaming. He is gone, and no amount of sleeping and waking up from this horrible nightmare in the morning will bring him back to life.

This intense and incredible pain follows me everywhere. The pain is there when I wake up in the morning, throughout the day, and at night before I fall asleep. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about him. I have conversations with him in my head trying to make sense of the tragedy of his death. I ask him things like, "Do you know how much I love you Tristan? How much we all love you?" He answers me in my mind "Of course I know, Angie."

The last words I said to him were by text sent two days before he passed away. "I love you." I still wonder if he knew how great my love was for him. If he knew that I would do anything for him. That I would have moved the sun and the moon for him if he had asked. I ask him if he's

OK and if he is here with me right now, but all I hear is silence. It's deafening. I always wondered what that phrase really meant; now I know. I experience it every day. I am so very sad when I think about how I will never hear his voice again or hear him tell me he loves me. But I hear his voice in my head, "I love you too, Angie." I pretend it's really him saying these things. I know how crazy this sounds, but I ask him every day to visit me in my dreams. "Please Tristan, I need to see you. I need to know that you're OK and happy." Only stillness follows my pleas to him in my head.

In a daze, I watch random people pass by me during their daily activities as if this earth-shattering event in our lives has no meaning to them – which, of course, I understand it doesn't. I want to ask the woman in the grey scrubs at the grocery store if she has any idea what happened to my nephew. Surely if she knew, she would have a moment of silence for his precious soul. When the young man who is ringing up my groceries asks me how I'm doing, I want to tell him, "My sweet Tristan is dead and I'm dying inside too. I will never get past this horrible grief and despair." Instead I lie and tell him, "I'm fine, thank you," as I pay for my groceries. No one really wants to hear those things.

Some friends and acquaintances look at me with discomfort and either avoid the subject altogether or skip around it with generic phrases like "Something good will come of this" or "This was God's plan. There are no mistakes with God." I know they mean well, but Tristan's death was senseless and tragic, and the only thing that will come out of this is sadness and pain, emptiness and grief. As for God's plan – why would God plan for this sweet, loving, precious child to be taken away from us during the prime of his life? Why are two beautiful baby boys left without their father for the rest of their lives? Why are those who loved him with all of their hearts and souls left behind and forced to walk through life without that beautiful, sweet young man who brought such joy to their lives? No more holidays, weddings, graduations, family gatherings or birthdays with him. He will never grow old or see his beautiful grandchildren. He will never experience so many things.

He was only 22 years old! I don't want to believe that God would plan for this horrible tragedy to happen in our lives. I'll never understand why Tristan is gone and other really awful people in this world are allowed to walk around tainting the universe until they die of old age. He was taken from us too soon. It was 19

everyone else. He loved steak biscuits from Martin's, Dr. Pepper, his Nana's sweet tea, New York strip steaks and Reese's peanut butter cups. He ordered his McDonald's hamburger with extra onions and no pickles.

He was a polite young man and said please and thank you. He was incredibly intelligent, and he was an avid reader – a straight-A student who loved reading about history, one of his favorite subjects.

He loved Alabama football and his favorite color was purple. He never supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to always made me laugh. leave this earth before he did. God, are you listening?

Tristan lived with me for a couple of years while in Would you mind checking your records again? I do high school. He was always the first one to get out of believe this was a mistake. Some type of horrible clerical bed every morning. While he was taking a shower and error upstairs. It wasn't supposed to be our Tristan, it getting ready for school, the upbeat sounds of "I Gotta was supposed to be that serial murderer who lives in the Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas would fill the house next county over or the rapist down the street or the every morning. To this day, when I hear that song, I child molester next door. I've always had a strong faith, think of him. I would walk into my living room where but hearing that his life was cut so shockingly short he would be lying on the couch and start having a and the overwhelming pain and loss the rest of us are conversation with him, only to realize he was asleep. left with is what God plans for us doesn't bring much He often slept with his eyes open, ever since he was a comfort in this moment. little boy. Tristan had the most beautiful big, blue eyes Friends, please ask me about him. Don't avoid with these really talking about him with me because that makes it seem long eyelashas if he's not important, as if he were never here with es that were us. I may cry as I'm telling you about him, but don't like butterfly be afraid of my tears. The one thing I want most in this wings caressing world is to honor him by talking about him. I want to his cheeks. I share with you what a terrific person he was and how was definitely he made my life, and the lives of everyone he knew, so jealous of those much better because he was here. eyelashes.

I might tell you about when he was just a little I would get toddler, he couldn't say Angie so he called me GiGi. home from When he was older he would snuggle up to me with work and that sweet charming smile of his and call me GiGi, and school in the he knew he would get anything he wanted. Or I might evenings, and I tell you about the time he cut our cat Sugar's whiskers would be relaxdown to about an inch on each side because they were ing or studying uneven. That poor cat didn't have any depth percepon my bed tion for a good two months after that little incident. when Tristan, I'll tell you that he was a leftie but had the neatest his friend handwriting I've ever seen and he batted a baseball right Frazier and my handed. He was one of the hardest working young men kids would burst into my room and pile themselves on I've ever known, getting up before dawn every morning top of me. I would yell at them to get off of me, all of to take care of his family, always getting to work before 20

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us laughing and enjoying that moment together as a family. While driving the kids to and from school, we would listen to Dan Fogelberg's "Same Old Lang Syne" over and over again. He and I would sing the lyrics together. Last Christmas when he was visiting, we heard that song and Tristan told me he always thought of me when he heard it. I laughed and told him when I'm dead and gone he would hear that song and think of me, and he would know I was always with him. Now it will only be me thinking of him when that song is playing. Sometimes when Tristan laughed, he had this silent body-shaking laugh in the beginning until the happiness overcame him and the laughter would finally pour out of his mouth like this beautiful and amazing melody you never wanted to stop playing.

On Labor Day weekend 2008, he and my son Zach were outside trying to impress two young ladies from our neighborhood, Jenna and Jerrica. We ended the evening in the emergency room after Tristan swung a golf club and accidentally broke Zach's nose and barely missed his eye. Seven stitches and several years later, Zach still sports that scar on his nose. Of course, I will always think of Tristan when I see that scar.

I took him on his first trips to New Orleans when he was a young boy and Disney World and Universal Orlando when he was a teenager. In January 2013, two years after Tristan had moved out, one of Zach's friends was trying to get back on his feet and was living with us for a few months.

During this time, Tristan stopped by my house to visit but unfortunately had to leave before I got home from my daughter’s soccer game. He left me a lot of money for a kid his age, I think around $80, and I sent him a 22

text asking him about it when I found the money. He told me he left the money for me "just to help out." I was going through a difficult life event last Christmas and my Christmas gift from him was this beautiful cedar bird feeder. In the months after Christmas I would text him and call him to tell him how popular it was with the birds and what a wonderful gift the bird feeder was to me. He told me he was glad I was enjoying it so much and he bought it for me hoping it would help with my life transition.

That was who Tristan was.

My daughter Sydney was born on Tristan's 7th birthday.

When she was little, he would let her crawl into his lap, and he would wrap his arm around her and share an earbud with her while they listened to his iPod. When she was older, they loved playing chess together – his favorite game.

They would text each other funny pictures and make fun of each other like a brother and sister. They were sending funny texts to each other the night before he passed away.

Tristan was the oldest at 22, my son Zachary is next at 21, and Tristan's brother Nathaniel is 20. They grew up together playing army and cars, having picnics and scavenger hunts organized by Nana at Nana and PawPaw's house. Nana babysat all of the kids while we worked.

They loved to paint their faces with camouflage makeup and take on imaginary bad guys in the war of the century. When they were really little, they would dance to the song "Step in Time" from the movie Mary Poppins, arms linked together, skipping, jumping and dancing

like Dick Van Dyke. PawPaw would put his straw hats on the boys and take them outside

to work in the yard with him. When they were too small to walk around he would take the playpen outside and hand them a plastic rake or shovel so they could “help.” When they were old enough to walk, PawPaw would give them rides in the wheelbarrow all over the place. They didn't get much work done, but they sure did love those rides with their PawPaw. As they got older, the three of them loved hanging out together when they could, just being silly and competing to see who would say the funniest or most outrageous things to make the rest of us laugh. Usually Tristan would come up with the most shocking thing to say, and we would shake our heads trying to stifle our laughter and look at him sternly at the same time.

Tristan had the most exuberant and spectacular hugs I've ever experienced in my life, especially when he was really happy or excited about something. The excitement would just pour through him deep into your soul.

He would squeeze you so hard and laugh at the same time. I would love to have another of his hugs just

once more.

If we had a family gathering, we could always count on Tristan to be there. He loved all of his family on both sides. When we would text or talk on the phone, he would always ask me about his "Uncle Danny", my fiancé, Zach and Sydney. He called my ex-husband Robby "Uncle Robber" when he was very small, and continued to have a good relationship with Robby after our divorce. He loved his Nana and PawPaw and would always stay with them when he wanted to just get away for a while. Tristan was looking forward to moving to Texas to live near his dad, my brother William, William's wife Emma and his brother Nathan. Father and sons would finally be together again after several years of being apart.

Tristan loved nature and being outdoors. William took him and Nathan camping many times throughout the years. Tristan had two step-brothers, Andres and Rafael, who he also enjoyed hanging out with when they could get together. Tristan also had his own sweet family – Kennedy and his two sons Coen, 3, and Finnick, not even 2 months old.

Tristan would often talk about how much Coen was like him, in his looks and his mannerisms. He was right. When we look at Coen it brings us back 19 years and we see our sweet little Tristan again in him. I am so very thankful that we have his legacy here, those beautiful sweet babies who are a part of our precious Tristan.

The last time he and I were able to spend a significant amount of time together was the day after his second son Finnick was born in July. We walked and talked and laughed on the grounds outside the hospital, and he told me how amazing the miracle of childbirth was and how much respect he had for Kennedy and all women. He proudly told me about the good job he did while cutting the umbilical cord. We spent more time together in the gift shop so he could pick out the perfect flowers for Kennedy. He wrote her a sweet card to go with the flowers, balloon and adorable charm bracelet with the little baby feet charms he had picked out. He got a big "It's a Boy" ribbon to hang on the hospital room door. In the elevator on the way back up to the room, he told me he loved all three of them with his entire being.

The most devastating thing about my nephew's death, for me at least, was that he passed away with no one there with him who loved him. He passed away with strangers surrounding him, attempting to save 23

his life. No one deserves to die without someone who deeply loves them by their side. I hope one of those people held that sweet baby's hand. I wish I could have told Tristan goodbye. I wish I could have held his hand, kissed his cheek, and told him I loved him just one more time. I wish I could have been there with him in those last moments, as he breathed his last breath, as his sweet and loving tender heart stopped beating.

At his funeral service, I watched my son Zach, Tristan's cousin and lifelong buddy, now Tristan's pallbearer, help carry him to his final resting place. I wonder how that experience will affect my son's life. Tristan deserved to have those who loved him be with him to the very end. I was there outside the hospital room waiting for him to be born on that beautiful spring day in 1993, and I wouldn't leave him even as they covered him in his final resting place two weeks ago. Two of the most unforgettable and fragile moments in my life, and I was with Tristan through both – one full of joy and happiness, the other, tremendous pain and heartbreak.

Life is so fragile. Spend your lives every day as if it were your last one on earth because it may very well be your last or the last for a loved one. Tell your loved ones how you feel. Share your truth with them. Be present and real with them, and share your hopes, dreams, fears, and, most of all, give them your time and your love. Be kind, and give them your forgiveness for their transgressions as well. Share good times and experiences with them. Those are the things people remember, not expensive gifts or tangible things that mean absolutely nothing in the end.

I would give up every possession I own just to be able to spend time with Tristan once more. When he passed away, my brother and I were hanging on to every small thing that Tristan had ever been a part of or touched. Every new photo we found with him in it – even if it was only the back of his head, just his arm or leg or the top of his head in the photo, it was a reason for celebration. Old schoolwork I had saved 24

of Tristan's became a treasure my brother could never replace. I fanatically saved screen shots of years of texts with Tristan and sobbed when I realized that any voicemails I received from him were no longer available. I scoured his Facebook page to make sure I had every photo he had ever put on his page. I asked his friends to send me screen shots of his texts or instant messages, and they kindly complied. Every moment, every photo, every thought and word that came from him was a small sliver of joy rising above our grief and pain for just a moment.

If you have only digital photos of your loved ones, have them printed or have them upload automatically to a cloud site so you can see them as often as you want. I had another phone during the time Tristan lived with me, and I'm sure I had many photos of him on there, but that phone is long gone and I never printed those. Videotape your loved ones at family gatherings. I have a video of Tristan's 16th birthday party that I will treasure the rest of my life, and I can make copies and share them with

others who love him. I haven't had a chance to look at our old VHS videos we have, but I know there are many with Tristan in them.

Send a note or a card in the mail to a loved one.

I promise you, in this digital age we live in, they will treasure that. My daughter, the most high-tech person I know, saves every handwritten note I write to her when I put one in her lunch box. I don't write one every day, but she has a stack of them in her lunchbox to read again when she needs a lift, a little encouragement or just a laugh. These are the things we will not only cherish when our loved one is gone, but also while they

are still here with us.

Try not to leave room for too many regrets, although I know you will have some. I do. I regret not calling Tristan from that Tuesday when we last texted each other until he passed away two days later on Thursday. I regret not letting Sydney play a last game of chess with Tristan the week before he died, which was the last day we saw him, hugged him and kissed him. I was tired and wanted to go home, so we left without playing chess. I wish I would have let them have that time together playing the game he loved so much with his little cousin he loved and with whom he shared a birthday.

I suppose I'll never know why the tragedy of Tristan's death occurred. All I can do now is try to get up every morning, knowing I have to live without him another day. I do know he is with me. He is with all of us who loved him. I know I will be able to see him again one day, and knowing that gives me some small measure of comfort and hope. For now, though, until we meet again, I am determined to share the memories of him that will live forever in our hearts. That sweet precious soul will never be forgotten. I love you, Tristan. Goodbye for now, you dear, sweet child.

pg. 19: 1. Tristan holding Sydney-2. PawPaw, (left) Zach, Tristan- pg.20: 1. From left: Zach, PawPaw (Kin), Tristan- 2. Tristan and Nana (Charlene)- pg. 22: 1. From left: Andres, Nathan, William, Tristan, Emma, Rafael- 2. Sydney and Tristan- pg. 23: 1. William and Tristan- 2. From left: Nathan, Tristan, Zach- 3. Tristan and Uncle Danny 4. Tristan and Uncle Robby-pg. 24: 1. From left: Kennedy, Coen, Tristan- 2. Finnick and Tristan- pg.25: 1. From left: Tristan, PawPaw, Nana, Zach, Billy, Nathan- 2.

Aunt GiGi (Angela) and Tristan

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GOT SHE’S GA

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AME Headed For The Finish Line Local athlete separates herself from the pack Her feet pound against the pavement as her breath fills the frosty air with deep rhythmic bursts of condensation. She tells herself she needs to go faster as the relentless rush of wind surges furiously past her, roaring through her ears.

“You can do it!” is her mantra as she spurs herself onward through the shadowy mist in the early hours of the morning. No, she’s not running

away from something – she’s running toward another medal to add to her extensive collection of 90 awards, medals, trophies, plaques and one unusual bowl she has earned over the past three years. th Meet 15-year-old Grace Clements, a 10 grader at Bremen High School with a passion for cross-country running. She was most recently

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interact with tissue and accelerate the healing process. This process enhances the body’s natural regenerative functions and stimulates the release of endorphins and collagen. It may eventually even normalize damaged or injured tissue.

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named AA girls’ “Runner of the Week” by Mile Split GA for her 20:39 time in the varsity girls’ 1 races in August 2015. Also, she was the AA girls’ individual winner of the Sept.

15, 2015, Carrollton Orthopedic Invitational championship 5K race for her 21:35 time.

She pushes herself to win every race and works relentlessly to reach that goal. According to Clements, losing is a word to avoid. With a record time of 19.5838 minutes for a 5K (yes, that’s 6.5 minutes per mile), she doesn’t have to use that word much.

Clements shared her cross country running experience with West Georgia Woman. Born in Alabama, she has lived in Bremen, Ga., most of her life with her parents, Grey and Candace, and four siblings: Logan, Will, Lacey and Molly Catherine. In addition to her love of running, she enjoys playing soccer, cheerleading and spending time with her family.

Photos by: Candace Clements

West Georgia Woman: What is your training regimen?

Grace Clements: I usually run an average of five days per week for three or more miles. I also do bleachers and speed training a few days each week.

WGW: How do you prepare the day of a race mentally and physically?

GC: I try to have a positive attitude and concentrate on running my race rather than worrying about others at the race or where I finish. I stretch and do various warm-ups before each race.

WGW: Tell me what goes through your mind when you’re out there competing in a race. How does running make you feel?

GC: I’m telling myself that I can do it.

I feel great after I run, physically and mentally. There really is a runner’s high. It makes you feel so good and like you’ve accomplished something.

WGW: Where did the idea to start competing in races come from?

GC: We have a road race at our middle school. When I was in 7th grade, I won the race, and that made me want to give cross country racing a try.

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“I try to have a positive attitude and concentrate on running” 30

WGW: How old were you when you competed in your first race?

What was that first experience like for you? th GC: I was in 7 grade when I joined the cross country team. I woke up that morning and told my mom I was going to win the race. I came in first out of more than 100 runners. I was hooked at that point.

WGW: How many races have you competed in since you began running?

GC: After I started cross country, I also started entering 5K races.

I’ve run in over 90 races at this point.

WGW: How many races have you won?

GC: I’m not sure overall, but I’ve received an award for all but three of my races. I’ve won quite a few races over the last three years.

WGW: Sometimes you have to

compete against adult women — does that have an impact on your performance at all?

GC: I do not worry too much about who I am running against.

If I’m running with someone more experienced, I use them to make me better.

WGW: How do you balance running and your other activities along with your schoolwork?

GC: I’m still learning to balance my time and am working toward being an honor graduate. It’s not always easy since I play soccer all year and cheer in the fall. I’m also adding swim this year. I’m trying to do as much as I can in my high school years so I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything.

WGW: What is the average cost to participate in these races every year?

GC: Running cross country is a very inexpensive sport. There is no costly equipment to purchase.

5K races typically cost between $15 and $30 to participate.

WGW: How many states have you competed in?

GC: I’ve run in five states competitively with the race farthest away being in Idaho. I’ve run half marathons in four states: Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama and Florida.

I’d like to run a half marathon in every state by the time I am 25.

WGW: Where was the location of your favorite race so far and what was it about that particular race that made it your favorite?

GC: The Disney race was my favorite because of the atmosphere and because I got to run through Disney. As I was running, there was a bunch of people on the sidelines and there were Disney characters cheering me on. The race was called the Glass Slipper because I ran a 10K on Saturday and a half marathon on Sunday.

WGW: What is the longest race you’ve ever competed in?

GC: I’ve run four half marathons which were 13.1 miles each.

WGW: Who is your biggest fan?

GC: My mom.

WGW: Tell me about your support network at home. What do they do for you to help you succeed?

GC: They encourage me to be the best I can and sacrifice their time by taking me to practice and going to my races.

WGW: Have you ever given up in the middle of a race and just decided “I’m not feeling it today,” or “I’m tired, I don’t want to be here?”

GC: No. I realize that some races are harder than others, and that I run better on some days than others.

WGW: Have you ever woken up on a race day and thought, “I don’t want to do this today! I’m not going! I’m sleeping in!”

GC: No, but I have let my nerves get to me at races and felt like I didn’t want to compete that day.

My coach talks to me and makes me feel better. I’m fine after I start running.

WGW: Do you see yourself competing in races the rest of your life?

GC: Yes. That is the great thing about running. It is something I can do for a long time.

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GIFTS TO give yourself Every day, you give of yourself – to your job, your spouse, your kids or your favorite volunteer organization.This holiday season, instead of only giving of yourself, try giving to yourself. Taking a few small moments to bring yourself some joy makes you a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, a better employee and a better volunteer. It makes you a better person.

You deserve a little spoiling. Give yourself permission to treat yourself the same way you treat everyone else for a change.

They’ll thank you for it. last time you stepped away to just … be? As the year draws 3232

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Quiet time. The world today is loud.

Whether it’s the phone ringing at work or the kids giggling at home, the noise often seems constant. Even at night, when it’s dark and seems quiet, you can still hear the faint hum of electronics. When was the last time you stepped away to just … be? As the year draws to a close, give yourself the gift of some quiet time. Plan ahead to make sure you won’t be interrupted, then go to your quiet place.

This could be as simple as getting everyone out of the house so you can finally read a few chapters of a good book without having to stop to control the chaos around you. If you’re feeling more adventurous, bundle up, drive up to the mountains and find a secluded spot by the river to fish, meditate or perhaps try your hand at painting. Maybe you prefer feeding the ducks by the lake. Whatever you choose, unplug while you do it. Facebook will still be around if you shut it off for a couple of hours to focus on yourself.

Something that makes you feel beautiful.

You might not love your unruly curls or the way your ankles look in wedges, but every woman has beautiful features that help her stand out from the crowd. Buy something for yourself that accentuates what you love about yourself. You might try a new, dramatic eye shadow or finally buy that flowing skirt that showcases your hourglass shape. Maybe a new purse helps you feel put together, or some highlights in your hair can make your eyes sparkle. You ARE beautiful, so plan for a few ways to help yourself project it.

Chocolate. No, it’s not good for you. And yet, sometimes it is. Countless studies show that chocolate causes your body to release endorphins, which are chemicals that lift your spirits. It might also help you think more clearly, relax and live longer with a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, according to Prevention magazine. That doesn’t mean you

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should go crazy and drown yourself in a giant bag of Kit Kats, but allow yourself to enjoy a chocolate snack in moderation every now and then without guilt – even if you have to hide in the closet so you don’t have to share.

An amazing experience. Do you remember what you got for your birthday 10 years ago?

Do you still have the countless bottles of specialty body wash and fragrant candles that seem to magically appear every birthday and Christmas? The answer to both these questions is probably no. However, think back to the last time you did something crazy, like zip-lining, scuba diving or sky diving – experiences you won’t forget. If extreme isn’t your thing, when’s the last time you made it to the ballet or the opera, or even a comedy club? Life often gets in the way, and these experiences get pushed to the back burner.

Yet these are the moments that stay with you forever, long after you’ve used up that Starbucks gift card in your stocking and that lovely bottle of perfume your husband gave you. Pick something you’ve always wanted to do, and do it. Take a friend or family member with you so you can share the experience and make memories that don’t fade like last year’s Christmas sweater.

New sheets. After a long, exhausting day, there’s no better way to pamper yourself than to wrap your tired body in the soft, creamy luxury of high-quality sheets. Pick a material you love, or one that helps you rest better. Menopausal women might prefer a moisture-wicking variety, while women who get cold easily might go for flannel – especially in the winter. Egyptian cotton and combed cotton tend to retain their softness well. If possible, invest in a couple of sets of your favorite sheets. It’s worth the money to be able to change your sheets at least once a week without the hassle of having to wash them and put them back on the same day.

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Q:

SHE SAID SHOULD A WOMAN BE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?

“Absolutely. All women should have equal rights.”

Tabitha J. 44, Carrollton, GA “Yes! Look at how messed up this country is after being run by a man all these years. It’s time to vote for an intelligent and educated woman so she can straighten this mess out!”

Belinda D. 32, Bremen, GA

“No, I don’t believe a woman can run this country because I believe the other world leaders would never take her seriously as president.”

Sheri P. 51, Douglasville, GA “Of course a woman can and should be president.

I think a woman is just as capable as a man in every aspect of life and in every career choice.”

Sarah L. 25, Franklin, GA “I don’t know if I could ever vote for a woman for president. That doesn’t mean a woman shouldn’t be president, I just personally don’t know if I would vote for a woman. She would have to be pretty awesome and inspiring, and I’m just not feeling that with our current female presidential candidates.”

Brandi T. 38, Carrollton, GA

“Yes, yes, yes! Why not? Women aren’t given enough credit in the workforce or in their daily lives in general. Maybe if a woman became president things would be easier for women in everyday life.”

Christina G. 29, Dallas, GA

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HE SAID

WEST GEORGIANS WEIGH IN

“Sure. I don’t have a problem with a woman being president. My wife is a heck of a lot smarter than me, and I’m not afraid to admit it!”

Michael C. 41, Douglasville, GA

“As long as the person has the right credentials and if you feel you could lead this country, it doesn’t matter if it is a man or a woman.”

James S. 22, University of West Georgia student from McDonough, GA “No. I believe in God and I think the first problem we have is not putting Him first. God should be on top, and the man should always be the head of the family and responsible for the family. Therefore, a man should run this country.”

Joige E. 55, Carrollton, GA originally from Guatemala

“Absolutely not. No one wants an emotional woman in the presidential office. I would never vote for a woman for president.”

Brian R. 36, Hiram, GA “That’s irrelevant. She should be a Christian first.

Without faith, you have nothing. What matters is are you fair, are you just, and are you doing it out of love.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman unless it’s my wife because I don’t want her to have that much power!”

Randall G. 65, Carrollton, GA

“Yes! My mom would make a great president!”

Conner H. 26, Villa Rica, GA

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Daily Fare ”Adapt these recipes to your tastes and your lifestyle. That’s what I want you to feel the freedom to do with my recipes.

You are more talented and creative than you give yourself credit for!”

Julie Culpepper

Julie Culpepper is a Georgia native living in Carrollton for the past 26 years with her husband Alan and their adult children. She became a personal chef after graduating culinary school in 2012 and loves working with two companies that she incorporates into her style of cookingBranch and Vine in Newnan and Doterra, an online source for essential oils located in Utah. For further information about contacting Julie or these companies, please feel free to email her at : jculpep4@gmail.com or culpepperoilsolutions@mydoterra.org or go online to: branchandvineonline.org

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Thanksgiving

Transformation Skip the sandwich and love those leftovers

The holidays tend to follow the same predictable patterns. First, you cook. Then, you eat. A lot. When cleanup time rolls around, you have so many leftovers they might not all fit in your refrigerator. These meal remnants don’t have to be relegated to turkey sandwiches and piles of vegetables stuck in the ruts of their original forms.

Instead, add a pinch of this, a dash of that and a smidgen of imagination to think beyond the sandwich and transform Thanksgiving leftovers into artistic, delectable creations that keep the after-holiday party going for days.

For example, trash the traditional turkey salad and opt for a creamy, classier version with rice, pesto and yogurt that you can eat immediately or freeze to wow your family with later as you reminisce about the holiday. The pesto adds a pleasant zing to this simple yet unforgettable dish.

Photos by: Michelle Horsley

Turkey and Rice Salad with Pesto Dressing Ingredients 3 cups rice, cooked according to package directions (white, brown or a wild rice mix) ½ cup store-bought or homemade pesto (made from parsley or basil) ¾ cup plain yogurt 2 cups chopped leftover turkey (or a store-bought substitute, such as rotisserie chicken) ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper 1 cup leftover vegetables of your choice Leftover cranberry relish In a large serving bowl, whisk together the pesto, yogurt, salt and pepper. Add the turkey, rice and vegetables, and toss until evenly blended. Garnish with cranberry relish.

Serves 4

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Fall arrives with a flurry of cooler weather, festivals, football and tailgating. This is the best time of the year to try new variations on familiar recipes, especially hearty comfort food such as lasagna.

Instead of stressing about following a recipe to the last teaspoon, experiment and try things that spark your curiosity. Failure is, sometimes, an option, but many times new combinations result in amazing dishes you can't wait to serve guests at your next get-together.

Pumpkin & Kale Lasagna with Turkey Sausage

1 box lasagna noodles, cooked according to package directions 1 egg 3 cups steamed chopped kale 2 tablespoons garlic paste 1 tablespoon fresh chopped sage ½ teaspoon freshly cracked pepper or 1 drop black pepper essential oil 1 pinch freshly ground nutmeg ¾ teaspoon salt 1 14-ounce can pure pumpkin puree 3 tablespoons wild mushroom and sage oil or plain olive oil 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour 3 tablespoons salted butter 12 ounces (or more, to taste) shredded mozzarella cheese 12 ounces cottage cheese 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 2 cups milk 12 ounces ground turkey sausage

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Oozing

In Comfort Lasagna with a fall twist warms up your evenings Heat oil in a sauté pan over medium heat and cook the ground turkey sausage. Drain the excess fat. Set aside. In the same sauté pan, melt the butter and add the garlic paste, sage, nutmeg, salt, pepper and flour, and stir about 3 minutes. Add the pumpkin and milk and stir an additional 5 minutes until thickened slightly.

In a 13-by-9-inch baking dish sprayed with nonstick spray, layer 3 noodles to cover the bottom of the pan. Pour half of the pumpkin mixture over the noodles and spoon the cottage cheese over the pumpkin mixture. Add another layer of the noodles. Spread the kale over the noodles and sprinkle the turkey sausage over the kale. Add a third layer of noodles.

Pour the remaining pumpkin mixture over the noodles and sprinkle the mozzarella cheese over the top. Garnish with the parsley. Bake about 45 minutes until browned and bubbly.

Serve with a fresh salad and bread sticks. Serves 6 to 8 people.

Tips from Julie: Everyone is so busy nowadays. I get that. I am, too, which is why I try to streamline the way I cook so it allows me to enjoy as much of an event as I can. Preparedness is a must if you do not want to be cooking all day while everyone else is having all the fun.

1. Do all your grocery shopping a day or two before the event. There’s nothing I dislike more than having to run to the grocery store for one item. But I’m thankful my husband usually accomplishes that task if the need ever arises!

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2. Have your recipes close at hand and accomplish your mise en place (recipe preparation) the night before or earlier in the day before you begin cooking.

3. Gather everything necessary to execute your recipe, such as cookware and non-perishable items. This allows you to enjoy cooking much more if you do not feel pressured for time.

4. Use "simple but fresh" ingredients. This is one of the most important secrets for culinary success. If you use the highest quality ingredients you can, your recipe usually looks and tastes fabulous. If you cannot use the fresh version of an item, use the next best thing available. For example, for a filling winter soup, you most likely won't be able to cut fresh corn off the cob. Flash frozen corn is an excellent substitute and won't change the quality of your recipe significantly.

Send us your favorite holiday recipes to:

Congratulations to

Publisher Angela Dailey and her staff on the launching of

Woman West Georgia

TM

a landmark publication celebrating the lives and contributions of women in the West Georgia area.

Drs. Anne and Fred Richards

features@westgeorgiawoman.com

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in November?

Spring is the time for fresh, green sprouts to emerge from your well-tended beds and planters, but your warm-weather success has its roots in your winter gardening exercises. Enjoy some chilly, fresh air while you prepare your garden for the next planting season.

1. Time to Clean. Let the cooler weather inspire you to clean up your gardening areas, removing old plants and adding them to the raked leaves in your compost pile.

Be sure to include only those plants that were healthy at the end of the growing season – any plants that were droopy or spotted might have a fungus infection.

Dispose of any potentially diseased plants in a sealed garbage bag rather than adding them to your compost pile. Turn existing compost or manure into the soil to help build a stronger base for spring plantings.

2. Soil Samples. Contact the University of Georgia Cooperative Extension for a soil sample bag, or get one from your local county extension office. Collect several samples from different areas of your planting location, using a clean trowel to dig down about 6 inches to gather the samples. After mixing the samples, spread the soil on a plastic sheet to air dry overnight, then add about a pint to the sample bag. Return it to your county extension office, who sends it out for testing. Your report should return in about a week and a half. If your soil needs amending before spring, such as if it’s low on

lime, finding that out and correcting it before planting season is a must.

3. Early Protection. An early frost might nip at the noses of your trees, shrubs and cool-weather plants such as pansies, but adding mulch early in November creates a layer of protection. It helps plants retain moisture and heat throughout the winter months.

4. Plant if You Must. If you just have to plant something, go for bulbs that bloom in the spring, or stick to trees and shrubs, recommends the Georgia Gardener Walter Reeves. He suggests removing all the burlap or string from the roots and trunks before planting.

5. Water, Water Everywhere. Continue watering cool-season grasses, trees, shrubs and your flowerbeds throughout the winter. Keeping them hydrated helps them endure the harsh temperatures.

Herbal Remedies Outdoor gardens can give way to smaller, indoor herb gardens for the winter. Even if all you have is a kitchen windowsill, you can grow herbs such as rosemary, mint, sage and thyme all year. Basil is a little more particular about temperatures, and it might not grow well next to a cool window.

Most herbs need about four good hours of sunlight per day to thrive. They add an element of life to your space without taking up too much room, and they add a tasty punch to your dinner menu.

41 41

Out in the Community If you don’t have space to garden or aren’t sure how to get started, a community garden might be the answer for your green thumb. Several community gardens exist around West Georgia. Most are winding down for the

winter, but now is a good time to find the one closest to you and meet some of the people who garden there.

You might also check for local gardening classes – many community gardens continue to promote education through the winter months.

Community Gardens These gardens teach children and adults how to garden and the benefits of eating fresh fruits and vegetables. Many of the community gardens donate some of their harvests to local food banks.

•

Bowdon Elementary School, Bowdon, Ga.

•

Carroll County Boys & Girls Club, Carrollton, Ga.

•

Fairfield Plantation, Villa Rica, Ga.

•

Heard County 4-H, Franklin, Ga.

•

Hope Fellowship Church, Carrollton, Ga.

•

Jones Elementary School, Bremen, Ga.

• • • • • • • •

Last Shall Be First Ministries, Villa Rica, Ga. Lifeline Mission (Midway Church), Carrollton, Ga. Major Temple Garden Club, Temple, Ga. Piney Grove Missionary Baptist Church, Carrollton, Ga. University of West Georgia, Carrollton, Ga. Knox Park, Carrollton, Ga. Stockmar Park, Villa Rica, Ga. Green Meadows Community Garden, Marietta, Ga.

West Georgia Ambulance wants to encourage all women to "Know the Signs and Know their Numbers."

Heart attacks are the number one killer of women, and women typically show no signs of chest pain but experience unusual fatigue; substantial sleep disturbance; neck, jaw or back pain; and indigestion – all very common. Track your blood pressure and cholesterol numbers through free health screenings. See your doctor at least once a year.

Take care of yourself so you can continue to take care of others...

770.214.0049 42

HER

CELEBRATE SUCCESS

Photo by Malin Roghelia, Heart Is Found Photography

Love From The First Press

Local businesswoman mixes oil and vinegar and turns it into success You swirl the liquid gently in your glass, then inhale deeply of the pleasant aroma – is that a hint of nuttiness, with perhaps a touch of floral essence? You take a tiny sip, enjoying the feel in your throat as the oil coats it … Wait a minute. Did you just say oil?

It might sound remarkably like a wine tasting, but it's actually a tasting of specialty olive oil

Photo by Tracey Jenkins

found at Branch & Vine, an olive oil and balsamic vinegar tasting bar. With locations in Newnan and Peachtree City, Branch & Vine offers the highest quality products – not at all like the options available in most grocery stores.

Co-owners Tracey Jenkins and Cindy Ludwig opened the first Branch & Vine in Newnan's Ashley Park in 2012. The second location followed in 2013, found in the Westpark Shopping Center in Peachtree City.

Jenkins shared part of her journey as a small business owner with West Georgia Woman. Originally from Michigan, she moved to Georgia in 1997. She attended nursing school in Tennessee and worked in the medical field for 12 years before taking the leap to become a business owner.

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She and Mark, her husband of almost 18 years, have a 15-year-old daughter, McKenzie, and her step-daughter, Lindsey, is 27.

West Georgia Woman: Tell me where you found the inspiration for Branch & Vine.

Tracey Jenkins: I bought my first two bottles of Veronica Foods balsamic vinegars from a little booth at River Street in Savannah about eight years ago. I fell in love with them. In 2012, I went to a cooking and entertaining show at the Cobb Galleria. There was a vendor there from a store in Indiana. I bought several bottles from them, and it dawned on me that they came all the way down from Indiana because there were no stores

44

like this in Georgia.

I started researching olive oils and balsamic vinegars. It was easy to learn why their quality is so superior to other brands, many of which have flaws from being old, blended or refined, and why this was so important.. Before, I thought as long as I was buying "Extra Virgin Olive Oil" that it was healthy for my family. I was shocked when I learned that the stuff I had been buying was not what it was labeled to be and, therefore, not healthy. I felt that if it was important to me, others would find it important, too.

WGW: What is your favorite part about being a business owner, and why?

Photo by Tracey Jenkins

TJ: I LOVE serving our customers! I love showing them around, mixing different pairings together for them, sharing recipe ideas and watching them get so excited as they taste and learn. I often have to work from home to get "business stuff" done because it's so hard for me to not get involved when someone comes in.

My other favorite part is the group of ladies that make up the Branch & Vine family. I am so very blessed to have each and every one of them. I couldn't do it without them. Callie and Angela have been with me from the very beginning. Roseanne and Sandra have been there three years, and Julie for almost three years. Tif-

fany, Monica and Isabel have been with us a year, and our newest family members, Kim and Janice, joined us a few months ago. Having employees like the ones I do, that you can trust your business to, is rare. And having a bunch of women that all enjoy working together, that have become true friends to one another and no drama, are blessings indeed! We really are like family, and I am so grateful for that.

WGW: Specialty olive oil and balsamic vinegar stores are relatively new to the area. How has educating the public about your product been a challenge, and what marketing techniques have you found successful?

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Photo by Tracey Jenkins

TJ: Educating our customers about the differences between B&V products and those found in grocery stores (and even in some other specialty stores) is key because it is important to their health. The difficult part of educating is that it may sound like a sales pitch to some. We know it's all factual and proven through many extensive medical research studies and chemistry testing, but it may sound like we're just trying to sell our products.

I encourage our customers to do their own research, if they wish. What's really great is when one of our more seasoned customers is in the store while a new customer is there. They will start telling the new customer about ways it has improved their health and how it has changed the way they cook and eat. It's amazing to see how passionate they become once they have experienced the benefits of the "difference!" THAT is the reward of the hard work.

WGW: How has opening the second location in Peachtree City changed the dynamic of the business?

TJ: I didn't think having two locations would be much different than having one, but I was wrong.

It is a challenge to split my time between the two stores and give each the attention I would like to give them. Even though it is challenging, it has been worth it. B&V customers that were coming to Newnan from Fayette County were thrilled to have a location closer to them. Both stores have new customers come in almost every day.

WGW: What is the one piece of advice you wish someone would have given you before you started your own business?

TJ: Wow...only one? I have learned so much

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about retail business along the way, a lot by doing it the wrong way first. The biggest, and often the most frustrating thing, is that retail is completely unpredictable! As far as owning a business, I have been a business owner with my husband prior to Branch & Vine. I learned from both my parents and from my husband that when you are a business owner, you do what you have to do, period! If that means 80+ hours a week and a seven-day work week, every week ... that's just what you do.

The hardest part of this commitment has been seeing the sacrifice my family makes by not having me around much for the last 3 1/2 years.

This is also the most difficult sacrifice of mine.

Regardless, they have been very supportive and understanding.

WGW: What does the future hold for Branch & Vine?

TJ: I think my family would disown me if I opened another B&V! Superior quality olive oils and balsamic vinegars will always be the primary focus of B&V. In addition, we carry other natural, healthy and delicious food products, including many gluten-free products. We continually search for other great lines that fit the B&V quality criteria. We also have a fabulous selection of beautiful serving pieces and gift items. We love making gifts and have a huge selection of gift bags, boxes and stunning gift baskets, all which we can customize for each customer. We create gifts of every type and for every budget, starting from less than $10.

WGW: What would you tell other women who are considering opening a business?

TJ: Make sure it is a family decision! If my family had not been on board and supportive from the very beginning, it could have been devastating to our family. They may not be doing all of the hard work, but they are making the sacrifices with you!

The other thing I would tell them is to expect it to cost more (a lot more) to open and to operate than what you plan on it costing. This is true for your time commitment as well.

Thanksgiving Traditions

CREATING CHRONICLES OF GRATITUDE

The table is set, and the family gathers, anxious to dig into that giant turkey and all the fixings. First, you pause and go around the room, asking the family members to express something they are grateful for. Then, mass chaos as you all dig into the holiday feast.

This year, instead of simply ooh-ing and ahh-ing over everyone's expression of gratitude and moving on, consider recording those comments in a journal. Bring it back out year after year to reflect on how lives of your loved ones have changed and grown.

The Process Creating a new Thanksgiving tradition isn't expensive or difficult – all you need is a notebook or journal. Instead of waiting until right before you eat to discuss what everyone is thankful for, set aside some time while you visit before the meal or afterward. As the family members talk about their gratitude, write down their thoughts, along with the date and the names and ages of everyone who was there.

To make the journal even more personal, ask the people at your dinner to write what they are grateful for in the journal on their own. This way, you get their thoughts in their own handwriting, which makes the journal a treasured heirloom as older family members pass away. The rest of the group can continue to visit while you pass around the book.

When everyone has a turn, pass the book back around and ask them to read what they wrote. Take photos during this time, and maybe slide a few prints into the journal after the holiday. It doesn't need all the fanfare and hassle of creating a scrapbook; the goal is simply to preserve the memories.

After the holiday, scoop up the journal and pack it away with your fall decorations so you can remember to pull it back out the following year. When you are ready to pass on the responsibility of the journal to the next generation, encourage them to store it the same way.

A Precious Keepsake The process is simple, but the memories you gain become priceless. As you look back through the journal, you watch children grow up (and their handwriting improve, hopefully!), couples get married and families come together after losing loved ones. You get to celebrate successes all over again and see how family members grow and change. Each year is a snapshot into your family as you come together to share your love for one another.

While a gratitude journal might not give you as many details about your family's lives as following them on Facebook or Instagram, it tells you what was the most important pieces of their lives at that moment, every year. It enables you to touch their deepest, most heartfelt emotions and record them.

When children are grown and look back through the journal, they might be surprised to learn they share many of the same thoughts as their parents at the same age. Or, perhaps a family member forgot about a small event from several years before, but reading about how she was grateful for it brings back all those memories and happy feelings.

While you're recording memories, you're creating new ones for the family. Holiday traditions bring comfort and warmth, especially those that showcase blessings.

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Other Ideas: 1. Instead of asking everyone to write down one piece of gratefulness, ask family members to write down three or more items they are thankful for. This gives you a deeper look at what each person considers most important at that moment in life.

2. Children can get involved early – ask younger children to draw pictures if they can’t yet write out their thoughts.

3. Video creates memories in a way nothing else can. As your family members read what they wrote, or as they express what they are grateful for in front of the group, record them and save the file on a DVD. Date each DVD and slide the discs into a protective sleeve to keep in the back of the journal.

Cultivating Daily Gratitude Thankfulness doesn't only come around on Thanksgiving. To give yourself a daily boost, create a daily journal where you write one small reason you're grateful every day.

When it's a really bad day, maybe the only thing you can find to be grateful for is that the sun was shining and it wasn't raining. Or, maybe you're grateful that through the hard times, you have some amazing friends who reach out. Some days you might be thankful for your job that enables you to buy treats for your loved ones that result in huge smiles, or perhaps you appreciate modern medicine that can heal those loved ones when they're sick.

Try to make the entries short – just a couple of sentences – but specific enough that when you flip through it, the entries can help lift your spirits. Add funny thoughts as well; perhaps you're grateful you didn't fall as you walked up the steps to a stage to accept an award, for example, or that if your child has to share personal family stories with strangers, at least it wasn't THAT family story.

When you're feeling low, read some of your previous entries and know that bad days do get better. There is always at least a small sliver of light, even on the darkest days.

We specialize in Colon Cancer Screening and in the diagnosis and treatment of: Reflux and Heartburn Stomach and Digestive Disorders Crohn’s Disease and Colitis Hemorrhoids Hepatitis Liver, Pancreas, and Gallbladder Disease

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A Different Kind of Housing Crisis

by Shala Hainer, Realtor Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate Metro Brokers

Building a strong housing market takes time, and the recession recovery in the metro Atlanta market has taken longer than in many other areas of the country.

But the tables have finally turned, and with a vengeance. Several years ago, people stopped selling their houses because it was difficult to find a qualified buyer or the appraisals were so low that many houses were under water. Now, the appraisals are back up in most areas, unemployment is falling and there's a new victim in the housing market: the buyer.

The main problem in the current housing market is that there aren't enough houses for sale – supply cannot keep up with demand. Although each neighborhood has its own personality, areas around West Georgia are seeing increasing housing prices and quick sales that reflect the lack of houses on the market.

This shouldn't discourage buyers from looking for homes. With interest rates expected to stay at unprecedented lows at least a few more months, now is an ideal time to buy. New construction is in full swing in many areas, helping fill gaps that might exist in the resale market, relates the National Association of Home Builders.

The seller's market is going to hang around for a while, according to the Atlanta Board of Realtors. "Low rates continue to attract buyers, driving the market percentage closing increase year over year by 17.1 percent," says Atlanta Board of Realtors President Ennis Antoine.

"The Atlanta job market remains strong and will continue to drive the demand for housing."

If you're thinking about buying or selling, talk to

a Realtor and ask for a comparative market analysis in your area. This gives you information that helps you decide whether your house might sell for what you want and whether homes that meet your needs might be available in your price range.

And buyers, be patient! The right house will come along, but it might take a few tries before you find the one you want.

CURRENT MARKET EXAMPLES: Increased Prices: July-September 2009 (based on the average home sale prices on the FMLS) Carrollton: $114,000 Dallas: $135,000 July-September 2015 Carrollton: $146,000 Dallas: $174,000

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Ever After “In all the world, there is no heart for me

like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.�

Maya Angelou

50 designed by: freepik.com

PHOTO BY: SANTIAGO DUARTE

Fall Into

RUSTIC Weaving Mason Jars into Your Wedding Décor Leaves falling, nippy morning temperatures and the scent of cinnamon brooms and wood-burning fireplaces – these are part of the reason autumn is an ideal time to plan your wedding. Fall offers bright, colorful decoration options, but you can bring in a touch of comfort and whimsy by using mason jars as part of your design.

Mason jars enable you to tie in lighting,

floral arrangements and guest gifts with a rustic look, even if that's not your wedding's theme. Use ribbon or paint to add your wedding colors to the jars to create continuity throughout your decorations.

Flowers Using mason jars as vases means you can spread that look to different areas of your reception, including table centerpieces and buffet spreads. Use them plain, or tie brightly colored ribbon around the neck, following your wedding's color scheme. If you're sticking to a rustic theme, tying a thin burlap bow helps you nail the historic look. Or, spray adhesive on the back of wider burlap ribbon and wrap it around the center of the jars as a 53 51

770.214.8004 / 120 Lucile Ave 30117 stewartinks@gmail.com 52

simple way to dress them up.

To take advantage of vertical space with the flowers, tie string around the neck of the jars and screw on the threaded caps, leaving out the inserts so the center of the caps remain open. After filling the mason jars with flowers, hang them from shepherd's hooks to create a path between chairs at your ceremony or on the walls at your reception.

This idea also works when you add tea lights to the jars; use florist wire to suspend the jars if you place candles inside to eliminate the risk of the string dipping inside the jars and catching on fire.

Lighting

When placing tea lights inside mason jars, add color and stability for the candles by filling the base of the jar with items such as colored sand, coffee beans or glass beads. Set these on tables or suspend them by grouping several in canning baskets hung from the ceiling – be sure to get your venue's approval first.

If you have large mason jars with flowers as centerpieces, surround them with smaller, wide-mouth jars, such as the 4-ounce size, containing the tea lights.

Avoid candles altogether by filling the jars with short, battery-powered strands of holiday lights. Choose from the basic white lights or those that fall in line with your wedding colors.

Giveaways

Attendees appreciate thoughtful gifts that acknowledge the time and expense they dedicated to your marriage. Creating gifts using mason jars enables you to add a personal touch to these gifts, which you can also use instead of place cards.

Fill large jars with the fixings for different cookie flavors, such as chocolate chip, sugar or oatmeal raisin. Layer the ingredients to create colorful, attractive gifts. Including ingredients along with baking instructions on the thankyou tag helps attendees avoid problems with food allergies.

Smaller jars work well for homemade treats such as jams or jellies. Step outside the norm and turn a lid upside down, place a cupcake on the inside of the lid and screw the jar on the top for a memorable and tasty good-bye gift for your guests.

To personalize these gifts, place fabric squares over the lid inserts before tightening the lids. Ribbon, raffia or burlap adds a finishing touch, or you can paint the outside of the jars to match your wedding colors.

Grab a small stencil and some chalkboard paint so you can add custom messages on the jars. After painting on the stencil and letting it dry, write guests names on the jars to use as place cards or different thank-you phrases for the guests to enjoy if they're grabbing the gifts as they leave the reception.

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CRYSTIN WISE & MICHAEL HOLLIS were married on May 15, 2015 at Foxhall Resort and Sporting Club in Douglasville, Georgia.

PHOTO BY: MANDY CANTRELL

TIMOTHY & TESSA

BRODEUR

were married on June 26, 2015 at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Catholic Church in Carrollton, Georgia.

PHOTO BY: MICHAEL T. BARRETT

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KATHERINE PENUELA & RAFAEL PEREZ were married on August 22, 2015 at Hacienda Piedra Grande in Cali, Colombia.

PHOTO BY: SANTIAGO DUARTE

West Georgia Woman will feature your bridal photo at no charge in “Ever After.” The bride or groom must be from West Georgia. Please submit one photo (at least 300 dpi), the bride and groom’s names, address, wedding date, venue, photographer’s name and copyright release to: photos@westgeorgiawoman.com. Photos will be included as space becomes available.

770.834.3393 623 Dixie Street Carrollton, GA

Since 1975

Personalized, fast and friendly service Free city-wide delivery We accept Medicaid and most insurance We have candles, greeting cards and gifts including Nora Fleming and collegiate items.

We are the local Tervis Tumbler distributor

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PET

STRESS

Keeping the holidays happy for furry family members

Your pets are family, too. Many get their stockings hung from the mantle and special chew toys while the humans gorge on too much turkey. If you think the holidays stress you out, consider them from your pet's point of view.

The flurry of activity throughout the holiday season means a schedule change for your pet, regardless of whether you stay in town or travel. If you stick around, you might have random crowds of boisterous people visiting – or so it seems to your pet. Some of these visitors might even bring animals of their own. People who travel either leave their pet in the care of a sitter who visits daily, board their pet in a kennel, or brave the car ride with a pet in tow.

All of these scenarios can upset your pet, and they just don't understand when you try to explain about the holiday disruptions. Friendly, people-loving cats and dogs might thrive on the extra attention they receive at family gatherings, but many pets get anxious with the extra sounds and smells. They tend to act out, sometimes jumping or nipping when they normally wouldn't. Others can refuse to eat or 56

choose to hide while their space is overrun by the unknown rivals.

When left alone or boarded, pets might act out by destroying items, such as furniture or stuffed toys.

They might also have potty accidents when their routines are interrupted. Some become aggressive toward guests or other animals in the home. All these behaviors are normal and should disappear as the holidays wane. However, pet owners who plan ahead can help ease the holiday stress for their furry friends.

1. Keep routines as normal as possible. If you typcally walk your dog at a certain time, for example, try to keep doing that during the holidays.

2. Exercise your pet. Play with cats, making sure they jump and run to their hearts' content, and take long walks with lots of play with dogs. The exercise helps calm your pet, enabling her to relax easier.

Tired pets tend to be well-behaved ones.

3. Try not to give your pet table scraps or change

DANGEROUS HOLIDAY PLANTS These plants tend to lead to digestive trouble with both cats and dogs.

See your vet immediately if you think your pet ingested a toxic plant.

• Poinsettias • Mistletoe • Holly

• Amaryllis • Hibiscus her feeding schedule. If you're traveling, this might be out of your control. Too many table scraps when the pet isn't used to it can cause an upset tummy, as can a change in food type or routine.

4. Decorate with care. The lovely colors of fall and the twinkling lights of Christmas might be calming and peaceful for you, but all your pet might see is change she doesn't understand. Keep harmful decorations out of reach – for example, place glass ornaments high on the tree rather than low, where dogs or cats might knock them off and break them.

Look for dangling decorations including tinsel, which might prove too much of a temptation for cats, especially. Cover extension cords to discourage dogs from chewing them.

5. Make a quiet place. Whether you're at home or traveling with your pet, create a peaceful, quiet place for her to retreat to when she's feeling the stress. Place her bed, a few treats and perhaps a few favorite toys in a back room where guests don't go.

Leave the door open so she can access it at will, or take her back there often to see if she's ready for some quiet time.

6. Keep holiday plants out of reach. Many popular holiday plants can be toxic to your pets, warns the American Humane Association. Many lily varieties are particularly dangerous to cats, for example, sometimes leading to kidney failure.

7. Update your pet's tag and microchip information.

Having guests over means your door might get more use than normal, offering extra opportunities for your pet to slip out. If her tag and microchip reflect your current phone number, you're more likely to be reunited with your pet. When you're out of town, these identification tools serve as the only way a good Samaritan might find you if your pet runs outside.

8. Ask your vet if your pet seems overly anxious.

Many pets experience small behavior and dietary changes during the stressful holiday times, but if you think your pet is anxious to the point that she might hurt herself, hurt someone else or has severe digestive trouble that includes vomiting, diarrhea or a refusal to eat and drink, contact your veterinarian immediately.

Your vet might suggest supplements, medication or holistic anxiety wraps to help calm your pet.

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E XPEC T B E T T ER

SM

58

Your home is not just another house, it’s a reflection of you. It’s your style, your personality, your taste. It’s the place where your fondest memories are made, and where your dreams can come true. That’s why Better Homes and Gardens® Real Estate Metro Brokers is dedicated to helping you find the ideal home, one that will inspire and comfort you for years to come. You can count on us to guide you through every step of your home buying or selling process – before, during, and long after the sale.

Shala Hainer, Realtor

Expect Better SM.

www.metrobrokers.com

Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate Metro Brokers Office: 404.843.2500 Direct: 678.320.4529

©2015 Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate LLC. Better Homes and Gardens® is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation licensed to Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate LLC. Equal Opportunity Company.

Equal Housing Opportunity. Each Better Homes and Gardens® Real Estate Franchise is Independently Owned and Operated. If your property is currently listed with a real estate broker, please disregard. It is not our intention to solicit the offerings of other real estate brokers

Wee Said Little West Georgians Weigh In Who would you vote for if you could vote for President?

"My daddy because he makes all the rules."

Cynthia 7, Bremen, Ga "Ummmm, I would vote for...I don't know what that means."

Tyler 5, Douglasville, GA "My brother Andre because he is really smart and he can do magic tricks."

Markisha 7, Villa Rica, GA "I would vote for my mom because she tells me and my daddy what to do all the time."

John 8, Newnan, GA "Well I wouldn't vote for my mom 'cause she makes me eat all of my vegetables and I don't think that's fair so I don't know who I would vote for 'cause I don't know anybody else."

Brianna 9, Whitesburg, GA "I think I would vote for my teacher because she is really nice."

Jamal 6, Villa Rica, GA "My Nana because she loves me and she is good.�

Candice 7, Carrollton, GA

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M. Dawn Harvey, DMD, PC Family Dentistry and Complete Facial Esthetics

Don't you look at your smile and your face as one complete picture?

Well, so do we. Ask us today about our treatment options using injectables for wrinkle reduction, "gummy smiles," and lip and line fillers to enhance that beautiful smile.

Who better than your dentist to enhance your facial features to compliment your smile? Your dentist is an expert on the facial muscles and is also among the most experienced with injection techniques.

Do you suffer from TMJ, headaches, and/or migraines?

Did you know that 80-90% of the time, these problems are muscle related? See how we can use trigger point injections to relieve your pain and improve your quality of life. Often these injections not only relieve your pain, but also enhance your facial features for the better.

We are your total facial esthetics and facial pain treatment dental office.

Give us a call!

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CONTINUING A

47 YEAR

of

LEGACY AUTOMOTIVE

Excellence

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