LIFE HAPPENS FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL

LIFE HAPPENS

Challenge the ‘what ifs’ with logic

By Claudette Larson LICSW

As I sit down to write this column, we are experiencing a radically changed world due to the Coronavirus. How significant the changes are largely depends on your individual circumstances – what you do for a living, if you have children, where you live in the country and so on.

Like other Minnesotans, my family had to figure out the requirements of social distancing versus the reality of cabin fever. All the while, I have been forever mindful that my home state of New York was virtually sinking under the weight of a virus gone rogue and a healthcare system that could barely keep its head above water.

There is so much we cannot control. For some, just being able to continue to make a living is/was at stake. For others, less critical but still very difficult, it’s not being able to see extended family, go out to eat or send the children off to school.

We feel powerless.

So how do we keep ourselves from dwelling on what we can’t control? The answer is to focus on what you can control.

There will always be things you won’t be able to control in times of crisis, particularly when it comes to health and finances.

Conjuring up catastrophic possibilities can get out of hand. That’s when you need to challenge the what if’s with logic and probability more than ever.

While there is always a chance that worst-case scenarios can happen, chances that they do are usually low. Upsetting yourself with unlikely outcomes leaves you less likely to be able to keep your wits about you when you need them most – during optimum problem-solving time.

The effects of COVID-19 will be felt for quite some time. There is no play book on how to best prepare for the stress this kind of experience can have on us emotionally and physically.

Truthfully, my best advice is to do the best you can and treat yourself with kindness and grace.

Remember there are coping skills that can be harmful over time. Drinking too much, mindless comfort food eating and complaining too much to other people will create secondary problems that just complicate whatever you are already going through.

Regular physical exercise, safe outdoor activities and relaxation, such as yoga or meditation offer healthier coping skills without the negative drawbacks.

It’s summer and you deserve some sunshine. I’d say we all do.

Take care.

Claudette Larson, LICSW, RPT is owner of Willow Creek Counseling in New London and has enjoyed working with children, teens and adults for the past 17 years.

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