Spring Issue 2020

Page 19

19 Travel & Wellness


wasn’t diagnosed with Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), until I was 33.

Little did I know then, but my first step toward an ADHD diagnosis was getting help for my anxiety and depression. I thought these conditions were responsible for holding me back in life. However, after some time on medication, something still felt “off.” My mood had improved dramatically, but my ability to focus remained atrocious.


“I had trouble finishing projects and sitting still, I interrupted people, and I’d obsessively focus on some things to the detriment of others.

I lived in a state of practically permanent distraction, resulting in innumerable wasted days: always being late because I couldn’t find my keys (one time finding them in the fridge after searching for hours), and having to repeatedly explain to people, “No, I’m not mad at you, I just forgot to respond,” after yet another miscommunication. Basic skills seemed impossible for me. My life was a constant roller coaster. Extended bouts of hyper-focused activity followed by even longer bouts of mental paralysis as everything I should be doing ran through my mind. Over the years, struggles with starting and finishing things intensified, and my never-ending lists grew longer. These traits became increasingly problematic as my life became a vicious cycle of list-making and organizing that would never lead to anything. I would list all the steps I needed to take to reach a goal but lost focus before putting any of them into action. I had ambition, desire, intelligence, yet, I still could not manage it. These habits often led to either all-nighter deadline miracles or apologies for missed deadlines.