WEIRD MAGAZINE JULY ISSUE

The New American Poverty

The New American Poverty

by Cameron Cutrone freedome-files.blogspot.com Look around these days. What has changed about America?

Poverty is hard to diagnose when people on average still drive cars, talk on cell phones, and live in houses or dwellings other than a mud hut. Poverty is easier spotted in places where such things aren’t readily available. But if we look closer, it is easier to see poverty when people are having trouble fueling the cars they drive, paying the mortgage or rent for housing, and struggling more and more each day to meet their needs. In a few extreme cases, tent cities have sprung up. There’s actually one in Lubbock, TX. In a nation with record individual debt, and collective national debt, it is now necessary to understand the true nature of wealth. When we see a lack of it, we can then define it as poverty. Wealth cannot be defined as consumption. In fact, having to use savings for daily consumption is truly more an indication of poverty than anything else. So how have we as a nation started slipping into poverty once again?

Globalization is often blamed for our woes, and that is hard to disagree with, but globalization of banking and finance has also prolonged the American era of opulence by allowing us to become the greatest creditor, and eventually the greatest debtor in the world. So the argument there can go on to infinity.

Michel Chossudovsky, economics professor at the University of Ottawa and Director of the Centre for Research on Globalization, does good research on poverty from a more global perspective. For the sake of focusing the discussion, American poverty will be discussed here.

Poverty is a condition that has many causes. There is a plethora of studies that can show how certain individuals and minority groups remain impoverished due to lack of opportunity and access. This has been attributed to generational poverty, institutional bigotry, crony capitalism, and patronage. These patterns are nothing new, and something anyone can easily detect. According to 2009 government numbers

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compiled by the Dept. of Agriculture and the census bureau, McAllen, TX, and Bronx, NY are tied for the highest percentage of food stamp recipients with 29%. Clearly these are places that are populated primarily by blacks and Latinos.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics paints an even clearer picture for Texas as a whole. In 2007, the number of people trying to live on a minimum wage job was 221,000. By 2010, that number jumped by almost 150% to 550,000, giving Texas the highest percentage of people working minimum wage jobs. Governor Perry’s economic miracle seems not to be fully present here in these numbers. Yet, he’s gallivanting across the country touting his economic stewardship of Texas. Perry has been powerless in fighting poverty, and would be a horrible choice for any higher office. If Texas has weathered the storm better than most, it’s no thanks to him.

Even more pressing is a pattern found throughout the country, a newer form of poverty that affects everyone. It is pervasive and increasingly permanent.

It creeps steadily, by slight of hand, and dilutes the value of everyone’s earnings. It’s had about a hundred years of unchecked looting of the people’s wealth. Above all issues of access and opportunity, it is the grandaddy of all causes of poverty. This is what many call monetary manipulation. It enables the boom, and ensures an even more violent bust.

The phenomenon has happened many times in history. It has always caused the collapse of once wealthy nations. And since the Federal Reserve Act of 1913, it has cemented a monopoly over our banking system. For a while it went unnoticed by the public at-large.

This was due to the dollar being commodity based and not as elastic. This means the central bank couldn’t just arbitrarily issue credit or bank notes unless another commodity, whether gold or silver, had the holdings on reserve to back it. In other words, the commodity backing our money was a self regulating mechanism that kept inflation in check for the most part.

With the abandonment of this standard in August, 1971, our fate as a nation was put in the hands of monetary manipulators. This, in effect, put the

12 members of the Board of Directors at the Federal Reserve Bank in charge of being the orchestrators of economic investment, finance, and credit.

The language used at the time by central bankers was that of a need for “more elasticity,” meaning there wasn’t enough money to pay for Great Society programs, militarism (Vietnam at that time), and private expansion of wealth. This “elasticity” in banking is now correctly identified for what it really is, inflation.

The increase in money supply that far outpaces productivity amounts to a looting of people’s earnings through the diluting of the value of existing money, leading to runaway prices.

The topic of militarism and it’s drain on our nation’s wealth cannot be easily overlooked. Many of America’s finest military generals have come clean with the American people about this.

General Dwight Eisenhower, in his “Chance for Peace” speech in April of 1953, illustrated the problem: “The cost of one modern heavy bomber is a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power

plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter plane with a half million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people.”

Even with a lack of priorities as they relate to welfare and warfare, there was still a limit to money and credit expansion until the Federal Reserve broke away from the gold standard.

But instead of seeing the writing on the wall, reprioritizing, or stepping back to realize their limits, the Fed just figured they would become the biggest private printing press in the world. Money would no longer be printed to keep up with an increase in productivity and economic activity, as done for many years. It would now be printed to make up for a LACK of economic growth!

This policy is fraught with countless hazards. Who would get this new money? Well, their best friends of course would get it first. The distributive effect of that cronyism creates even more inequity. Famous 18th century economist Richard Cantillon diagnosed the problem and thus many today call this transfer of wealth the “Cantillon effect.” The theory more or less states that the first people to receive this newly printed money get to use it while it has

it’s optimum value, before the inflation has a chance to fully diffuse throughout the system and devalue the currency.

Upon close examination you’ll find that this inflation problem is carefully managed. But it’s not actual inflation that’s being managed, it’s our perception of it that’s so carefully managed.

Our corporate media, energy companies, and pharmaceutical companies are all beholden to this tiny group of financiers at the Fed and it’s favorite central banks. These interests do damage control in a very piecemeal way, so as not to give the public a complete picture. Have you noticed how it’s seasonal sometimes? In the summer, it’s often times about energy. In the media we hear “why is the price of gas so high?” We are given half-truths, i.e. political instability, increasing demand in the developing world, etc.

Often when fall comes around it’s healthcare or education.

Then it’s permissable to vent about how the cost of education has exploded. The cost of tuition has gone up 900% since 1978! Ironically coinciding with the advent of the Dept. of Education. Or there’s the discussion on how best to insure people now that health insurance is increasingly unaffordable for working class Americans. We’re told to be pissed at all of those on welfare and showing up at the hospital for minor illnesses. Really?

The New American Poverty

people have become impoverished and the necessities are unavailable thanks to monetary manipulation. The left, with it’s heart fully intact, likes to offer us things to tide us over, usually resulting in the need to increase the money supply to make up for lessening tax revenue, and occasionally making us more comfortable in our poverty, and arguably prolonging it.

All of these problems share one HUGE common denominator. The price of EVERYTHING is too high! Our public debate about these issues is so cleverly compartmentalized that we haven’t as a nation awakened to the monetary manipulation and resulting inflation that continues to make all these important things unaffordable! Our anger is increasingly harder to tame,

but we are always accepting the establishment political and corporate media paradigm that makes it acceptable to vent our anger at the proper time, about a single issue, without putting the whole picture together and thus identifying the root cause of the problem.

To further pacify us, the establishment political machines of left and right offer us a multitude of options to consider once

The right, ever the stern Dutch uncle, prefers to deny individuals the help, perhaps in an effort to impart some tough love.

Like a good high school coach, a bit of “character building” is what they have in mind. But when their favorite cronies are in trouble on Wall Street, it’s always corporate socialism to the rescue. The Fed accommodates this with the printing press and credit fathomed out of thin air. It’s odd to me that these self-styled conservatives are always willing the help the most parasitic groups at the expense of individual taxpayers. Not very conservative is it?

So everyone under the sun has their idea of how to deal with existing poverty. But who wants to deal with the root cause of poverty? It’s time we had a national discussion about central banking, limitless credit, and unhinged monetary expansion.

Let’s investigate the smoke and mirror policy of legal plunder that animates the Federal Reserve Bank. We as wage earners can’t just magically earn more money every time inflation kicks in. So we may as well take a closer look at how to safeguard the value of the dollar, rather than just be fixated on making more of them. Auditing the Federal Reserve is a good start, and a bill (HR 459) in the House of Representatives to do just that currently has 158 cosponsors. But ending fractional reserve banking altogether and requiring banks to have a 100% reserve requirement would go much further to curb inflation.

With the repeal of the GlassSteagall Act, the latter seems like more of an uphill battle. The fight for more transparency in the monetary system does, however, seem to be gaining steam.

Furthermore, the issue of inflation statistics itself has in recent years been the subject of manipulation. Every time the government’s own inflation numbers, known as the consumer price index (CPI), begin to look unsightly, the government simply changes the variables taken into consideration. The standards seem to change once a decade. Inflation is recalculated without taking the price of food into account, for instance.

Funny how the things that skyrocket in price seem to be excluded when it comes time to recalculate the CPI. But anyone who shops for food knows better. So watch prices carefully, and remember, statistics can just as easily be made to fool you as they can to inform you.

For more information on inflation statistics and how they are manipulated, visit shadowstats. com and click on “Alternate Data.”

Cameron Cutrone’s editorials are archived at freedome-files. blogspot.com

ASK S.P.I.R.I.T. PARANORMAL Now you can ask SPIRIT Paranormal your own questions:

Can a ghost create luck for me? - Grabriel ~ McAllen, TX S.P.I.R.I.T.: Spirits are involved in our daily lives more than you could ever imagine, and although there are spirits that look after our best interests, we should rely more on the power of the mind and intent to create our own luck. What we suggest, is to write down specifically what you wish to attain, ingrain in it your mind, and then let go of any desire for it. Herein lies the secret, for when one is absolutely certain of something, we sit back, relax, and let it happen. It’s that certainty and faith in accomplishing, achieving and attaining something, that creates what is known as “luck.”

When things go missing, can we blame it on ghosts? - Michelle ~ San Marcos TX S.P.I.R.I.T. : This is a possibility, but it’s extremely rare, because most spirits don’t have enough energy to move things around in

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our physical third dimensional reality. If things go missing, and you want to approach it from a supernatural perspective, we suggest learning how to use a pendulum to find missing items, before blaming it on a spirit/ ghost.

Does one have a spirit or is one a spirit? - Rich ~ San Antonio S.P.I.R.I.T. : Every living thing in the universe has an energetic double, i.e., spirit. Matter is made of atoms, and 99.9% of the atom is not physical, but instead living conscious energy.

Nothing is really solid, as it appears. When matter becomes completely solid, it creates a black hole, and becomes pure energy again. We come from spirit and go to spirit.

We’ll wrap the answer to this question with these words from C.S. Lewis, “You don’t have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.”

Do you think meditation helps improve psychic abilities? - Irina ~ Edinburg, TX

S.P.I.R.I.T.: Yes. There have been many studies that prove this. Every state of mind has a corresponding brain wave pattern. Creativity, intuition and psychic perception is more prevelant in people with hemispheric synchronization, and predominant alpha and theta brain wave activity. These brain wave patterns can be attained through meditation, and more effectively yet, using biofeedback devices with binaural beats. The quieter your mind, the more you’re able to hear and see.

Do animals have spirits? Othon Martinez ~ McAllen, TX S.P.I.R.I.T.:Absolutely. In the 1940’s, Russian inventor and researcher, Semyon Kirlian and his wife, developed a way to photograph auras using high voltage. This became what is known as Kirlian Photography.

His experiments revealed, that every living thing, including animals, plants, and minerals, radiated the same lifeforce energy emitted from his hands.

Another interesting discovery, is that if a part of a leaf is torn

away, an energetic imprint of the missing section remains, and that as the leaf withers, there is also a progressive decline in the vibrance and strength of it’s aura. This living conscious energy, known as spirit, is the universal force that binds everything in existence into a unified field. You’re pets are energy, and energy can never be destroyed, so they live on, just as we do.

We are a professional scientific paranormal investigative group and are

available for free investigations Valleywide. We would love to hear any questions you may have related to the paranormal, supernatural, mystical and spiritual and will post the answers on this segment. Please forward all your questions or investigation inquiries to: info@spiritinvestigator. com or http://facebook. com/spiritinvestigators

Summer heats up with the Texas Outlaw Bull Bash Summer heats up with the Texas Outlaw Bull Bash By: Rachel Nelson 6-26-11 weirdrachel@gmail.com There will be something for everyone at the Texas Outlaw Bull Bash, taking place July 16 at the Cotton Gin in Maxwell.

The festivities will kick off at 10 a.m. with a volleyball tournament followed by a fajita cookoff. Other attractions include rock climbing, bungee jumping, mechanical bulls, live gun fighters, a washer tournament, plenty of beer and “some of the best barbecue around.”

“You name it, it’s out there,“ said Johnny Carmona, owner of Rafter C Productions. “My deal is to make sure everyone has a good time.”

According to Carmona, spectators will not leave the event disappointed.

Besides electrifying performances by 40 professional bull riders, there will be about a dozen country and southern rock bands performing throughout the day on three stages.

A kids’ carnival with several attraction rides will be present as well as magicians putting on magic shows.

“It’s just kind of going out there and enjoying being a Texan,” Carmona said.

“We are there to entertain,” he said. “Other productions want to buck all the bull riders off.

I wouldn’t pay a lot of money to go and see all the riders be bucked off.

That’s what the crowd wants to see—they want to see the riders stay on. We try to provide that type of entertainment.”

Colby Scallions has been riding bulls for about 9 years and got into the professional aspect more than 2 years ago. He will participate in the Texas Outlaw Bull Bash and has been involved in other events put on by Rafter C Productions.

“They’re judged fair,” Scallions said. “They’re fair with everybody, it pays good and has good bulls. Everybody’s having fun, being loud. It’s a fun deal to go

to.” A pre-party for the event will take place July 15 at 8 p.m. at Nephew’s in San Marcos. As a way to interact with the crowd and make the action more interesting, Carmona said the riders will draw for bulls at the pre-party.

“A lot of these bull riders know the bulls already because they’ve seen them at other shows,“ Carmona said. “They get some insight on the bull.

They can make some mental preparations and put on a good show.”

The bull riding is scheduled to start at 3 p.m. and will continue for about 3 hours.

“We’re not your average rodeo company,” Carmona said. “I know as a former bull rider that you have to keep the action going. No one wants to pay to watch people just sit there and talk in the arena.

We keep the action going. We keep everyone on the edge of their seats. We interact with the crowd.”

“I make sure vendors don’t get too expensive,” he said.

“It’s pretty much go out there and have fun. It’s either that, or you can spend money running up the light bill sitting at your house.”

Scallions said most productions of this nature cost $20 to $25 to attend. “[This event] is worth every penny,” he said.

Carmona calls the Cotton Gin “the place to be on July 16.”

“It’s an awesome venue, and it’s only six miles down the road from San Marcos,” he said.

“Other rodeos are more about filling bleachers. They’re about quantity. I’m about quality. I’m about putting on the best production for the crowd.”

For more information, visit raftercproductions.com or thecottongin.net.

Tickets to the Texas Outlaw Bull Bash can be obtained online at outhousetickets. com for $12 or for $15 at the gate. Carmona strives to keep his events affordable.

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GHOSTLAND OBSERVATORY JULY 15TH-16TH 2011 @whitewater

W: Welcome back to Weird Magazine Aaron !

Been a year allready.

How is your Tour going in 2011?

GLO :It’s going fabulous! This is our busiest year yet!

w:

Why is the Whitewater event so cool out there on the river every year?

GLO : Well you got the atmosphere of the hill country and the life force of the Guadalupe river plus GLO sprinkled on that.

It’s the fixins for a damn good time!

w:

The Stars. The River.

And 5000 GLO Heads! What do you think?

GLO: Oh hell yes!!

w: The night is Alive

with creatures of human form and some

not so human. Do GLOHeads reside in other demensions as well?

GLO: Everyone is in there own universe until they connect with one another. Outside of the GLO zone there may be multiple dimensions but once with in the reach of the lasers and sound we are all become one.

w:

Fragile Rock or The Cosby Kids?

GLO:Absolutely.Both

w:If Aliens came down from space and took Thomas, what would the rest ot the road crew and you Aaron do to get him back?

GLO::Call them on there space phone and tell them to quit fucking around! GLO and Aliens are tight like that. We bust there balls they bust ours, you know we are bros like that!

w:

Most memoriable show in recent months?

GLO:OKC damn near killed us by the heat in that place! It was so hot Aaron squeezed sweat from his shoe laces!

NASTY!

GLO: Goblin juice and a carton of colloidal silver.

w:The Snake Lady is coming to the Whitewater show and she is looking for Thomas!

Will he lay down a funky beat for the Snake Lady?

GLO:We have no idea who the snake lady is but we are sure we can charm her with Z beats.

w:Any final thoughts to Weird Magazine readers this July and the folks out at the Guadalupe River?

GLO: We will bring a good time y’all just bring yalls A game!

It’s time to get down!!

w: Aaron & Thomas, you both stuck on a desrted planet in the Deep Space, all you both need to survive is?

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Henry + The Invisible’s interview By Johnathan Pants

W: What’s the furthest you’ve traveled for a gig?

H + I: I performed at a wedding at the Blairquan Castle, Maybole Ayeshire, Scotland.

Incredible experience. If you ever get an opportunity to play in a castle, I strongly suggest it. : )

W: How many instuments do you play regularly on stage in a given set?

H + I: I play the guitar, keys, bass and percussion... so 4 if you look at it in a physical manner. I say that because I like to incorporate random objects in any given space and try to make music with it. I’m soon to add a alto sax to the mix

W: Whats the most obscure object from which you’ve derived sound?

H + I : Well, I do have a small

pot that frequents most performances but there was the era of the water jug that I remember not too long ago. I used a coffee grinder and a kitchen cabinet in a youtube video called “Kitchen Jam”... check it out sometime.

It’s a lot of fun.

W: What costumes and theatrics do you incorporate in your sets?

H + I: I wear a black lion hat with purple ears.... I feel it to be phunky, a few sequined shirts and there is also a puppet named ‘STROBE’ that makes an appearance during ‘Only Humans’....

I like to have

fun. I like to create a goodtime environment that is outside of the ordinary.

W: Is there an instument you have honed or enjoy more than the others?

H + I: I really do enjoy each instrument for their own personalities... and I guess it really depends on how I feel at the moment.

Guitar is my principal instrument but I have really been diggin’ on the bass... and the piano.

W: How long have you been playing rebar in san Antonio?

H + I: It’s coming up on 3yrs of Friday Goodtimes!

I really enjoy Friday nights!

W: You play there every week? how much does that show cost?

H + I: Every Friday.

The show is FREE! W: Alright thanks Henry we look forward to the Stubbs Show!

H + I: Yeah, it will be great only $5 bucks!

Come out WEIRDOS! [Triple Crown Show 21st of July! with Kobumba!]

Join Weird Magazine at Stubbs in Austin on saturday August 13th with Kobumba! And Page 12 • weirdmagazine.com

LIVE MUSIC CAPITAL OF SAN MARCOS

tRipLe Crown WE OPEN AT 8:00AM! ! !

BOTTOMLESS COFFEE $1 LUNCH HAPPY HOUR 12-1PM FREE WI-FI, COVERED DECK DAILY HAPPY HOURS 5-8PM

KABOMBA! Interview By Johnathan Pants

allowed on each radio station. In a world where internet makes millions of bands available to everyone instantly, we feel clear channel and the music business in general is archaic, totalitarian and ridiculous. A revolution is needed.

W: From where does the name Kabomba!

W: What is it that derive? keeps you so energized K : Neal: Cobamba is a flower

that grows in Spring Lake. It is the only flower in North America which flowers under water. The water there is so clear, the plant thinks that it is out of the water.

W: How many songs is your average set for house shows before getting shut down?

K : 3 songs before we get shut down, although at one party for cassie’s going away at “the mothership” we got away with 7 or 8. pretty much our whole set at the time.

W: What’s the story behind the heavy artilary and illegal music referenced in the video advert for the Jan. 28th show?

K: We always felt our music

didn’t fit the bullshit mold for play on the radio. A company called Clear Channel controls most radio stations and bigger venues. They are the ones responsible for the list of around 200 mediocre songs that are

through out your sets?

K: Brice: A savage man-

ic and near schiziphrenic caveman-like catharsis produced by the illusion that there’s a difference between us as performers and the audience.

Wanting to show off a sound that punches, History, Water, veggies, cafe, and loving every minute of it.

Neal: The songs themselves keep me energized. Other than that, looking out and seeing a bunch of people getting down...and beer.

Matt: I draw from everything around me all the time, examining why some performances work versus others, and what translates the most is the feeling on stage. When we are in a good mood, and feeling connected, the music flows and we perform awesome. The music keeps us hyped, and the energy stems from that because it grabs the audience and we connect with them.

Suddenly, it doesn’t even feel like I am playing the song anymore, but everyone moving and dancing are playing for me. The music just grabs me and takes over everything.

Also, I usually take about five minutes before a show to really focus and visualize a performance.

That really helps too.

Nick: For me, my inspiration at first was just getting to do something so different than what I was performing in the music school. I felt smothered there. Now, I pour all the frustration of a 40+ hour work week out. Its the one place I can dress silly, act crazy and let it all out.

W: Is doniphan an actual historical figure?

K : Brice: A very very actual historical figure and indeed revered...by few. A erudite, lawyer, politician, and Colonel, he helped protect against pretty much the annihilation of the early Mormon foundations in 1838 and fought in the Mexican American War. His significance to me? He has a road named after him in my hometown El Paso as he marched his Missouri Volunteers through the passage of El Paso/Juarez, fought a skirmish called the Battle of Brazito outside the city. The song is about the battle. It’s like a childhood fascination

with the Old West, the idea of Manifest Destiny, and the spooky feeling that I needed to plaster him into history with a song... and I like his campaign’s comparisons to Alexander the Great. Grit, toughness, Smart.

W: Most fun performance?

K : Brice: Texas Music Theater during Mr. Fest was probably the most random, rushed, and well put together show I think we’d done to date. The Jenna Tellyas helped as backup dancers/singers, people were jumping up on stage against the wishes of the theater, and I think people that hadn’t seen us didn’t know what to make of it. I love when that happens.

W: Favorite spot in san marcos?

K :Matt: Any place near the river, but I prefer the secluded spots.

Talley: favorite spot, i’d have to say nothing beats showdown, but zelick’s is a close second due to its “pee-on-the-walls” atmosphere of the bathroom, fun games and a huge outside atmosphere to escape and actually have some conversations.

W: From where do the writers draw influence?

K: Matt: The main difference in our song writing styles is Neal writes a lot of really cool grooves that are pretty technical and we usually flush out in practice sessions, Bryce usually comes with a fully fleshed idea that is super technical with so many elongated changes that getting a grip on it feels like going through stages of schizophrenia, and I try to write songs that are really simple and straight forward leaving room for the other

sections of the band to add diversity and dynamics in the thematic elements.

Brice: Neal Denton is basically a folky funk metalhead. Any influence from Daptone Records, Phish, Widespread Panic, and Primus. The guy’s a monster and surprises me anytime you throw something at him that entails a bass.

Matt: Neal’s whole perspective on this project has always been ‘let’s get people dancing’.

Neal: (on Brice) Is Gogol Bordello a genre?..I think the genre is called Kretek.

Matt: “Bryce comes from a myriad of perspectives. I think the biggest influence on Bryce has been the live performances of band’s like Gogel Bordello, Manu Chao, and Mars Volta. Bryce’s perspective always seems to come from a place of high energy and crowd involvement. I believe Bryce always says to himself, ‘How will this translate on stage, will this get people going?’

Bryce is a consummate showman and his energy is contagious.”

Brice: (Matt brings the) Folk, Indie, and Rock’n’Roll Neal: (on Matt) Indie rock

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nEWS THATS REALLY FN WEIRD! WNN THE WEIRD NEWS NETWORK “I’ve never seen anything like it,” one constable told me. “It was the scariest thing I’ve ever witnessed during my career”.

nity to hear about them yourself.

John Triplow and I are writing a book about a case in Essex which we’ve investigated extensively.

Scientists Don’t Know Why Things Just Disappear

A police officer and her security consultant husband have been subjected to the most bizarre phenomena imaginable.

Yeah, yeah, Einstein figured out everything from relativity to atoms to e=mc2. So how come Mr. Genius never bothered to explain the deepest physics mystery of all: Where does the pen by the phone go?

Spontaneous fires have broken out in their home, threatening messages – uttered by a weird, mechanical voice – have been left on their telephone answering machine, and, on one occasion, the husband was physically beaten up by their invisible assailant inside his car.

Cop a Load of Paranormal Tales Police officers are, by nature, cynical creatures.

complicated array of pipes on its undercarriage, and a series of square “portholes” around its circumference.

They have to be; if they were to believe everything they were told, few people would ever be arrested, let alone charged with an offence.

The officer then heard a high-pitched whining noise and experienced a strange tingling sensation on the tip of her nose and her forehead.

Yet readers would be stunned if they knew how many police officers have been subjected to paranormal phenomena.

After several seconds, the noise stopped and the object shot into the air out of sight.

This year alone, I’ve been contacted by no less than 11 constables who have witnessed things beyond their understanding.

Naturally, such experients are often reluctant to be identified, but this does not impact upon the validity of their encounters.

Back in February, one officer contacted me to tell of her own UFO sighting.

She had been driving along a road in Northumberland when she saw a large, saucer-shaped object hovering in the sky approximately 100ft from the ground.

She said it was silver in colour, had what looked like a

One serving detective actually runs a website where sightings of UFOs by police officers are logged: www. prufospolicedatabase.co.uk.

Police officers are also no strangers when it comes to poltergeist encounters.

I have personally interviewed a number of police constables, sergeants and even a superintendent who, during their career, were called to premises where they saw objects flying around and doors opening and shutting without human assistance.

On one occasion, two officers saw a table levitate from the ground to a height of 2ft before slowly lowering to the floor.

Fantasy? Hoax? Well, just consider this: A number of officers who visited the house – several of whom were so disturbed by what they saw that they have categorically refused to return – have agreed to be named and have provided written statements for publication.

Further, we have accumulated a veritable library of audio and video recordings of the entity in action, many of which are absolutely chilling.

The bizarre occurrences have been witnessed not only by the householders, but also by other family members, police officers, arson investigators, journalists, paranormal investigators, friends, priests, ministers and publicans, to name but a few.

What about those sceptics out there who are already rolling their eyes and planning to pour cold water on our claims before they’ve even heard the evidence?

Well, having a complete lack of facts and/or understanding rarely seems to make them hesitate before feverishly reaching for their keyboards.

The truth is that paranormal phenomena are real, hundreds of police officers have experienced them, and you now have a golden opportu-

Source: Shields Gazette

As an absent-minded-professor type, Albie could not have been unaware of this problem. If he didn’t address it, it must be because he, too, could not figure it out. I mean, you take a message. You hang up the phone. You get a snack, the phone rings, you come back and...No pen!

Or, sometimes, no paper! Or if there is a pen, now it doesn’t write. How can it possibly be the same pen?

In the interest of science - and matrimony, since it is hard to stay happily married when you suspect your spouse of constantly misplacing the pen and, ridiculously, your pen-pilfering klepto-spouse suspects you - I asked a consortium of physicists and one persnickety professional organizer to explain: Why does stuff just disappear?

And just as mysteriously: Why does some of the stuff, particularly the toothpaste, suddenly reappear, after you have either forgotten all about it or spent many, many, MANY hours hunting for it RIGHT WHERE IT SUDDENLY REAPPEARS!?

Explain this!! ‘’Einstein proposed that mass distorts space-time like a bowling ball distorts the surface of a mattress,’’ said Daniel Koon, a professor of physics at St. Lawrence University, thinking he was being helpful. (Think again!)

This bowling ball creates a black hole, ‘’like a newly formed blob in a lava lamp,’’ said Koon. And

this blob swallows pens.

Or something. On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have started with the physicists.

But anyway, I did, and another one - Lawrence Brehm at the State University of New York at Potsdam - said that, in fact, black holes are NOT to blame.

It’s the entropy, stupid! ‘’There is usually enough random energy around to create disorder’’ - i.e., entropy. ‘’This random energy can be a breeze or a vibration, but often it takes the form of a child, spouse or pet.’’

AHA! So then it is my husband (or child or pet) who is always walking off with the pen, right?

Well, not according to Donald Ware. Ware happens to be the director of the International UFO Congress but he does hold a graduate degree in physics, and he says that ‘’advanced aliens’’ hang around, moving objects through ‘’what some call telekinesis.’’ Moreover, they do this to ‘’expand the awareness of the individual involved.’’

In other words, when I cannot find the pen, it is because aliens have moved it in order to make me more aware of the other inhabitants of the universe.

Other inhabitants who have picked up all my husband’s bad habits.

Lisa Zaslow, the professional organizer, shakes her head. The problem is not space-time or aliens or entropy, she chides, but that we don’t pay enough attention to where we put stuff.

Yeah. Like that really makes sense. Lisa, I pay constant attention to my stuff and, in fact, have just found my phone pen, so there! The only remaining physics mystery is this:

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SLOPPY SECONDS: THE INTERVIEW Interview By Russell Dowden

W:WELCOME TO EIRD MAGAZINE. WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM YOUR SHOW AUG 1ST in San Marcos (Triple Crown) and July on 28th atDUBAI DISCOTEQUE in Brownsville?

SS :Every show is a little different. Sometimes a particular theme develops that we keep revisiting until the last encore.

I remember at a venue about a year ago we had drink tickets, and I tried to get a scotch and coke from the bar. The bartender said, “We don’t have scotch - nobody orders scotch here.” Well, I just totally lost it. Every break between songs, I would get the crowd shouting back at the bar, “B.A. NEEDS SCOTCH!! WHERE’S THE FUCKING SCOTCH??” Those are always the most fun nights, where the crowds become part

than ever!

That’s a complement of course.

SS : We hit the road every summer, usually concentrating on a different region. Texas tends to get more attention than most states because we’ve had such a long, storied past with the fans in here. I don’t know that we’re any cruder than in the past, but we’ve never felt the need to mature either. When we put out ENDLESS BUMMER in 2008, it had been ten years since our previous full length.

But people couldn’t believe it, saying things like “They picked up right where they left off.

It’s like they haven’t missed a beat.” Well, that’s the point, isn’t it? It’s a Sloppy Seconds record, it damn well ought to sound like one. Singalong songs about trashy movies, fucked up relationships, our personal heroes, and getting drunk. That’s what we do - junk rock. I couldn’t be in any other band, I’d be terrible. But I think we do our thing better than anyone else could, so why change?

W: Steal your Beer, Jani is a NAZI, I Wanna Be on Welfare, are just some of the names of your songs, your core punk lyrics define the band and the Punk lifestyle.

Would you agree?

of the show. And when chicks get naked onstage. As drunk, fat and stupid as we are, we do get a lot of girls ripping off their shirts onstage. And then there’s the trampoline...expect a show you’ll always remember with a twinkle in your eye.

W: Tell us about your new tour, you guys seem cruder

SS : I don’t think it’s necessarily a punk lifestyle, although a lot of punks identify with it. To me it’s just personalizing the songs.

“Steal Your Beer” is a good example. Just about everybody has been to a party that some naive girl threw the first time her parents left her home alone for the weekend.

Things are already beyond the point of no return, so you just start thinking of ways to push the envelope even further. Piss in all her dad’s cologne bottles.

Write “My dick was here” on underwear in her sock drawer... stuff that won’t be discovered for weeks. Well, that’s our song about that kind of party. It’s the note you leave for her father just before you leave her passed out on the patio.

W: How long has the band been together now? 25 years?

SS :Technically, we first played music as a band in the summer of 1983 at a house party I threw. But Steve Sloppy, Bo’Ba and I (B.A.) had been friends since third grade, so we had the same mindset and cultural influences long before there was a “band.” We put out our first 7” e.p. in 1987, so we kind of consider that the beginning of the band’s career in the larger sense. It was the first time anyone outside of Indianapolis paid any attention to us. I was surprised to find that we actually had our own demographic...

W: What or who inspired The Thing from Uranus?

SS : Bo’Ba’s farts...they are the most vile, sulfurous, paintpeeling, eye-burning blasts of methane imaginable. I’m one of those people that tries to fart in private, so his utter lack of consideration for my breathing space particularly irked me.

So I just started thinking, what if his awful farts were literally lethal? The fact that it’s a vicious killer that can’t be seen or stopped allowed for all kinds of fun imagery in the lyrics.

“There’s an evil force at hand, spreading all throughout the land. You can’t keep it locked away, it escapes you every day.” Pretty lowbrow, but still clever.

W: I hear you just got back from the Days of the Dead festival in Indianapolis, how was it?

SS : Not bad for an Indianapolis horror convention. We’ve been to a lot of them on both coasts.

I’m not a die-hard slasher or zombie fan, although I have some favorites. So I’m always more interested in the “crossover” guests, and there were some good ones at Days of the Dead. Rowdy Roddy Piper, Ace Frehley, Ginger Lynn, Jake Busey, Tom Sizemore. Zoe Bell was there, the New Zealand stuntwoman that was in DEATH PROOF and WHIP IT. And P.J. Soles. I had to have Riff Randle autograph my Rock N Roll High School soundtrack album. How great is that?

W: Name some of your influences growing up and not just bands?

SS : TV reruns, like the Beverly Hillbillies and the Andy Griffith Show. The Brady Bunch, but that’s become such a cliche...Saturday Night Live, Monty Python, SCTV...cartoons, like the Super Six, the Mighty Heroes, and Superchicken...

Sid & Marty Krofft shows... superhero comics, Mad magazine, National Lampoon...late night horror and sci-fi movies - the legendary local horror movie host in Indianapolis was Sammy Terry. Our song “Nightmare Theater” is a tribute to him. Prior to punk, we were into bands like Kiss, Cheap Trick, Aerosmith, Alice Cooper, Angel, and Queen. I’m a big Rolling Stones fan, too.

W: You guys are from good Stock, Steve McQueen, Charles Manson, James Dean, The Rev. Jim Jones, and David Lee Roth, are all from Indiana.

What makes Hoosier land so fucking cool?

SS : Well, the majority are the Bud-drinkin’ Nascar Nation who hang drywall for a living. But I think Indiana gets a bad rap nationally. It is a pretty conservative state, but crime isn’t out of control, and at least people are friendly here. You can’t always say that about a lot of the more “sophisticated” states. And if you don’t want to follow the norm, it’s not difficult to meet interesting people. We’ve built up a loyal following in our home state, so anything’s possible.

W: So the new tour is called “ The GOOD the BAD the Sloppy” When does it Kick Off? SS : It’s about a two-week stint.

It begins July 25 in Atlanta, and we wrap things up in Indy at the Emerson Theater on August 6.

W: Favorite Beer on tour?

SS : In Texas, it’s definitely Shiner Bock. I love Leinenkugel’s, so Leinie Original is what we drink in Chicago and Wisconsin. Abita in New Orleans.

When I go to Hell, I will be forced to consume Miller Brewing Company products for all eternity.

W:What if Space Aliens came down and Abducted B.A. would the band still have time to Get him back from Uranus to make the tour?

SS : Being cramped in a flying saucer with aliens is an infinitely more attractive prospect than driving through the back roads of America with these assholes. Probe away, Aliens! If somebody wants to take me on a free interstellar flight, Katy Perry can front Sloppy Seconds for all I care.

W: What can we expect this summer B.A. ?

SS : We can expect the NFL to find new and exciting ways to fuck itself in the ass. We can expect some twenty-five year old pretty boy to put on a cowboy hat and sing 38 Special songs and call it Today’s County. We can expect three or four more Tyler Perry movies before Christmas, so I guess we have to assume somebody actually goes to see them. And we can expect to be really hung over the day after Sloppy Seconds comes to town.

W: Thanks Guys Keep fucking Rocking another 20 years!

SS: Might as well...there hasn’t been shit on cable lately.

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THE ART OF BRENT NOLL Interview By Russell Dowden

W: Welcome to Weird Magazine Brent. How are things in your world?

BN: Massively Exciting. My

parents gave me their old dryer to use at my apartment. I don’t have a Washing machine yet. but it’s still a good deal because it will Save me 50% on my “Laundry Quarter expense”.

Quarters are hard to come by, and I would rather not waste them at a laundry mat. I really need all those quarters to buy sodas at work. As a cartoonist working in Austin. I am fueled by trailer park food and Coca cola.

W: Well your Art is so groovy, I thought it be kool to not only interview you, but have you as a regular contributor of the magazine on a monthly basis.

So what can we look forward to seeing from you in future issues of Weird?

BN :Far out man, I’ve been looking for a creative outlet to share my art work and comics be-

sides the Blog O’Sphere.

I’m tired of only getting feedback from the mammals on Facebook. “Herp Durp, LiKe BuTtOn” I have been designing characters for a comic that I want to have published in Weird magazine. It’s a Story about a Hiperster’esque Cartoon girl who sells organic coffee from a Moped to help pay for her Nicotine/Caffeine addiction.

W: What got you started in art?

BN: I remember as a child, not being concerned with drawing, but knowing that for some reason I was lot better than other people around me, and that always kept me working to draw more. And when I drew, to make sure it was better than my class mates. In my early teens I was bit by the anime bug. I can remember staying up every night drawing pictures out of my collection of Manga books.

Me and my friends would obsess about web comics, and we all wanted to become hilarious web comic creators.

Later in high school, during my world of warcraft days, I would draw comics of my virtual character during class every day instead of taking notes.

My parents really wanted me to join my college Newspaper when I attended UTSA, And I couldn’t write (as you may have already seen) So I opted

to illustrate a weekly comic. I was quickly realizing the anime thing was an awful medium, so I started researching western animation, and relearning how to draw from scratch. thumb nailing storyboards, Drawing the same characters over and over again, Inking panels, plus the time spent messing around in photoshop Taught me a lot about cartooning. So did 4 years of drawing Caricatures of people at theme parks.

W: Yeah, who are some of your influences?

BN: Mostly a lot of Disney

Animators, Classic Limited Animation, Video Games, and Web comic artists.

I used to Study the character Mock ups of the Disney Animator Glen Keane. (famous for designing the Lead Characters in the 90’s Disney animated films.

Ariel, Aladdin, The Beast) So there’s always a hint of that construction going on in my work.

I like to mash in bits of composition and color pallets from World of Warcraft Game art and of course Frank Frazzetta. That guy really knew how to draw Action and Babes. He could make you believe the weight and motion of his compositions. When you look at his art. you know that Guerrilla is about rip the Flesh from Conan’s Face. I like to try and emulate subject and composition like that through a more cartoony medium. I could never paint in value that realistically though, I prefer simple car-

toon exaggerated construction like that of John Kricfalusi, animator of Ren and Stimpy. and Mike Krahulik, Illustrator for the web comic Penny Arcade.

layout principals on that kind of agenda. of course I’m not working in Pen and Ink, but flat vector shapes. So I also look at Mary Blair’s Color palette work.

In my animation design work (my day job) I like to pay homage to the Limited animation of Hanna Barbara in the early 60’s. I would look at Harvey Eisenbergs layout work on Yogi Bear children’s comic book illustrations, and base my characters and

Oh yeah, and I’m obsessed with Suicide Girls, every animator has a pin up style I suppose, I really like the punk goth flairs of the neon haired, overly pierced aesthetics of Suicide girl Photography.

My artist friends also influence me quite a bit. being around fantastic artists during my years working at caricatures shaped a lot of who I am today, a caricature artist Named Bryan Flanagan Taught me about the value of line quality in your illustration. The value of line is very important to me as an illustrator. I drill Students on Line exercises in a class i teach at Texas state on graphic novels. sections of the band to add diversity and dynamics in the thematic elements.

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THE ART OF BRENT NOLL

Interview By Russell Dowden

W: You work at How It Works Media in Austin right? Explain what you do for a living, and how that contrast with your degree, and your style of Art? BN: I illustrate and Design

all art and animation assets that go into our Animated explanation videos. Our company produces animated shorts that explain Complex Products and services.

People on the internet read very little web text. and the mobile app market and tech services need quick ways to explain to the customers what their specific service is and how to use it. we facilitate that need by producing friendly cartoon limited animation videos that explain their service. It isn’t REAL 24 frame per second hand drawn animation, or the kind of animation you see on television. It’s mostly

Motion graphics and limited A-B style work. But It still requires intense planning, color palette design, and storyboarding, all the things a real animation company would do, just more watered down.

I’m in the fine arts program at Texas state which is very different than the marketing and consumer agenda that I am employed for. but I Still use cartoons as my medium to convey a conceptual message in my school projects.

Computer art is looked down upon heavily in my degree program. so I have to make all my Illustrations by hand, I use a variety of markers, Inks, and cut paper to build out my characters and backgrounds.

I occasionally take Illustration classes that allow me to use digital mediums.

These are via the Com Des department. I have learned a lot about the adobe suite, and professional graphics, which is the kind of curricu-

lum that I think the fine arts program lacks. I don’t know where I would be without Illustrator, Photoshop, and my Wacom Tablet.

W: What would you call your style of illustrations?

BN: It’s a bit of everything

that I find appealing about stylized life based cartooning. I suppose it’s very web comic oriented, but that has a lot to do with the medium and process of drawing and painting in photoshop. my more realistic Illustration is comic and Caricature based, I suppose, and my cartoons are a bit more like Stephen Silver and John K. It’s a medium that I find has a broad appeal and is pretty marketable.

W: Quite marketable in my opinion. Do you ever want to make an animated cartoon series?

BN: I do in fact. I really

appreciate the flat animation style of limited flash and after effects animation. my artist friend Scott Constant. (another San Marcos artists graduate you should interview) is putting together a post apocalyptic cartoon world. We are messing with styles and animation experimentation. we are mostly painting the backgrounds for it as of now. but soon we will be nailing down scripts and begin to animate in after effects.

I suppose you could say I have already a portfolio of animation and cartoons under me. with the help of the motion graphics people at my company I’ve assisted in the making of 9 animated Explainer shorts.

W: Best part about doing this type of Art? BN: Controlling and varying the style. I like to try new things with each project. I

like interpret forms in new ways to make the most dynamic illustration. I really hate it when an illustration is boring, and not stylized enough. I try to romanticize every detail and make sure I’m defining the subject with the most interesting forms I can. I have a language of visual tropes i often go to. but it’s really great when i discover a new way to interpret a shape of an object. or a feature of some ones face.

W: The Weird Staff all want to become a cartoon. Can we be Cool World soon?

BN: Sure, I am going to

have to face book stalk you and get some reference photo’s. I can’t grantee it will be flattering. But caricatures aren’t about flattery, their about creative illustration interpretation and graphical metaphors for complex anatomy and forms. (Re: I’m gonna draw you ALL JACKED UP).

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THE ART OF BRENT NOLL Interview By Russell Dowden

W: OK. Sounds like fun!

Words of encouragement to young artist?

BN: Blow off ALL of your non art related classes, Do the MINIMAL amount of academic work that you need to pass, spend that time drawing in your sketch book EVERY DAY, during class, after school, when ever. Force yourself to draw constantly.

If you have a funny thought, make a quick comic about it. Don’t take drawing too seriously. but just seriously enough to keep doing it. you should ideally be the person in the back of the room drawing cartoons of the other students and laughing to yourself. fill up every page of your sketch book with potent material. you should make your sketchbook appealing to look through. Even if you’re not a good drawer yet, your

sketchbook should make people laugh, If your art is funny. You are literally half way there.

Draw from life and your imagination, Draw your friends realistically and cartoony. Stay at home on Friday nights and mess around in Photoshop and illustrator.

Become technically savy, and post your drawings online. NOT FACEBOOK. Find a real art forum that is relevant to your style and be engaged in that community.

Start a Blog and update it often.

Try not to copy other peoples work verbatim, Instead study how and why they would have interpreted a shape or a form in a particular way, and see if it make sense to you. have a wide visual language to pull from.

W: What’s new with you for July?

something that looks like it can go REALLY FAST. I would also like to learn how to drive Manual transmission. so that I can save a bit of money on the theoretical new car, enjoy the driving experience, instead of rolling around in second gear Redlining my Engine at 8k RPM’s to get on the access road.

A facebook game that I;m doing illustrations for is about to undergo beta testing. Its a whack a mole style game that features a Anthropomorphic Cork on a pirate ship that runs around trying to fill holes in his deck with smaller corks. soon you will be able to spam your friends with E-vites to this addicting facebook game that utilizes my cartoon illustration.

I am also having a show at Mocha’s and Java’s on WonderWorld. I just need to buy 2 frames. and ship it all over there. You should stop buy if you enjoy my art.

BN: I would really like to

buy a new car this month.

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JULY CROSSWORD PUZZLE

By Jay Abazi Across

1. Early oboe’s 7. Carbonated drink 11. Muslim judges (eng.)

16. Five iron in golf 17. Door’s handle 18. Pearl Jam bassist Jeff ____ 19. Increase intensities 21. Beat of the heart 22. Move quickly 23. Opposite of lose 24. Before a certain time 26. America’s 14th President 30. Busy activity 33. High mountain 34. Lowest female voice 35. Yugoslavia’s President from 1953-80 36. Cellar spider 40. Donkey 41. The perfect one 42. Small can 43. Snakelike fishes 45. Takes a bite of food 47. Don’t tell the truth 49. As much as you want to see 53. China’s continent 55. Circle part 57. Nigeria’s monetary unit 58. Give a weapon 61. Moves by its own power (hyph.)

64. Group of players 66. Have your feet give way 67. Married woman prefix 68. Rest; set down 69. Insured mail (2 wds.)

73. Hotel’s lowest rating (2 wds.)

74. “To what extent?”, for short 75. Killer whale 79. Weak and cowardly man 80. Object that deflects oil 84. Computer number system made up of 3 digit binary numbers 85. Organic compound bound to a carbon atom 86. Lofts the volleyball for a spike 87. Food that has lost freshness 88. Britton and Robertson 89. Tight swim trunks

Down 1. Eurasian duck

2. Mince potato 3. Sexual cells in fungi 4. Pier; Dock 5. Unit of length equal to .001 inches 6. Breakwater, e.g.

7. Tropical lizard 8. Yoko ___ 9. Family head (in mafia) 10. Voter that is not in America 11. Italian island off the Gulf of Naples

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12. Charm; talisman 13. Having memory impairment; hallucinations 14. Ants or Flies 15. Radios, e.g.

20. Shoddy; inferior 25. The highest or most distant point 27. Dark and gloomy 28. Free gift with purchase (louisiana french) 29. Feeling sick 30. An entry to a mine 31. Father, in baby-talk 32. Lyric poems 37. Body of facts 38. Zero 39. Being cunning or wily 44. Close, like an envelope 46. Spanish nap

48. Be mistaken 50. Pour into 51. Carbamide; protein metabolism 52. Mature female 54. Pollen, grass, dust, e.g.

56. ____ Mentis: of sound mind (lat.)

58. Cut the thread of life (Greek myth.)

59. Play out an event 60. Purplish red 62. Tree of the Pine family 63. Bravery; having valor 65. Book of prayers in the Roman Catholic Church 70. Particular appearance 71. Seeds of the Pigeon pea shrub 72. Rich flourless cake

76. The sound of waves breaking the shore 77. Female student (hyph.)

78. African-American bushy hair style 81. Singled-stranded molecules (abbr.)

82. Long period of time 83. High spirits; energy and ___ 62. Nuts of the State tree of Texas 65. Shinbone 66. Opposite of outer 67. Taiwan (abbr.)

68. Formula of belief 69. Below 74. Building space 75. Black American Cuckoos

76. Genetic code 77. Scottish John 78. Unit of energy 79. Neither win or lose 80. female sibling, for short

MUST-HAVE RIVER ACCESSORIES plugs into your car’s cigarette lighter for power. Find this accessory at Coleman.com for $21.99, and it is worth every penny.

Get your hands on these must-have river accessories By: Rachel Nelson weirdrachel@gmail.com Summer is a time for fun, and you’ll want to build a library of great memories in 2011. Unfortunately, water and electronic devices typically don’t mix.

That’s why a waterproof digital camera, such as the 12-megapixel Kodak EasyShare Sport Camera, is a must-have. This gadget is capable of capturing video and still photos up to 10 feet under water, all the while incorporating white balancing for natural tones. Listed at BestBuy.com for about $80, this item is one of the least expensive water resistant digital cameras out there.

But if you’re going to take this prized possession to the river, you should also play it safe by being equipped with a small flotation device so that your camera doesn’t accidentally take

a plunge to the bottom of the river, never to be seen again.

Many products of this nature are on the market at Amazon. com for under $10, such as the Vivitar floating wrist strap.

Every San Marcos river-goer knows that floating can be a hassle if not planned out and executed just right. One of the biggest challenges floaters face is figuring out a way to air up their tubes and transport them to the river. We’ve all seen it—the carload of river rats holding their inflated tubes out the car windows en route to the water. But thanks to inventions like the Coleman 12V Quickpump, this doesn’t have to happen to you. The last time my mom visited me, she left this handy machine at my apartment and told me that it would change my life when it came to floating. Let me tell you, she was right. Although intended to blow up air mattresses, it works just as well for airing up tubes at an impressive speed.

Even better, it conveniently

A party just isn’t the same without tunes. That’s why the Conair® Hang On Shower Radio is a great investment.

This waterproof AM/FM radio can be purchased online at Bed Bath & Beyond’s website for $9.99 and comes in five different colors. The hook on top is designed to latch onto your showerhead, but it could also be conveniently placed on your beer cooler. Be sure to bring extra AAA batteries.

For a smoker, there’s nothing worse than being on the river without the ability to light up. So don’t forget to grab a waterproof cigarette case from Walgreens. For just a few dollars, you can ensure your cigarettes and lighter stay dry for the duration of your time spent on the river.

Have a great rest of the summer, and don’t forget to apply sunscreen.

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