Sept issue Weird Magazine

9/11: Fact, Physics, and Foreign Policy

by Cameron Cutrone

grieving and scared.

So here’s what we’re supposed to know about the 9/11 attacks: On the morning of September 11th, 2001, a handful of angry Muslims were capable of bringing down four planes, toppling two of possibly the strongest built skyscrapers known to man, and penetrating the aorta of America’s most heavily guarded fortress with box cutters. Oh, and about seven hours later magically collapsing another building that housed CIA, NSA, and NYPD offices with magical Muslim pixie dust. These, my friends, are more answers than the government has given us about a tragedy that killed over 3,000 people and continues to plague over 50,000 people with debilitating respiratory illnesses. By the way, many of the people still suffering from those illnesses have been barred from participating in the 9/11 memorial ceremony at ground zero this month. The same can be said for many of the victims’ families who aren’t satisfied with our government’s official story regarding the events. Apparently Bloomberg, Silverstein, and Giuliani see them as too much of an eye sore.

So let’s look these tragic events and the people involved with sober eyes and discerning minds. Shall we? The two jet airliners with no logos on them crashed into buildings with heavily reinforced steel whose architects’ specifically designed the structures to withstand a collision with a fully fueled 747.

Jet fuel burns at a maximum of 700 degrees fahrenheit. Heavy grade reinforced steel does not melt until it reaches a minimum of 1,200 degrees fahrenheit.

Knowing a thing or two about steel, that’s barely more than half the heat it would take to make a steel structure such as the WTC’s 1 and 2 begin to melt.

9/11: Fact, Physics, and Foreign Policy

by Cameron Cutrone freedom-files.blogspot.com Ten years later. It’s the perfect time to touch upon one of the most catastrophic events yet seen on American soil. Unlike the days of JFK, no one can say it’s “too early” for a discussion

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on the matter. So let’s ask: What, in fact, DO we know about this tragic event with ten years of hindsight? Can we finally deal with the issue in a rational, non-reactionary manner? For instance, here’s a good starting point for the discussion: six of the ten members of the 9/11 commission, insiders mind you, said upon completion of their report that their efforts to investigate what intelligence agencies

knew of the people and planning involved in the events were “thwarted or stonewalled.”

Their words, not mine. So why even publish a report in which the majority of the participants were thwarted or stonewalled?

It could’ve been the forced need at the time to control people’s unanswered questions. Maybe people were happy with just an answer, whether or not it was a correct one. The nation was

Moreover, if it somehow were to be enough to melt the steel support columns, what would such a melting process look like?

Well, we actually know through experiment and experience with history that it takes at least 2 days. The Windsor Building in Madrid, Spain, a reinforced steel building, caught fire due to fuel and burned for 3 days, for example. Amazingly, the strength of the steel was compromised slightly, but the building never collapsed.

In the case of WTC buildings

1 and 2, we saw that the initial impact caused a sizable fire which burned for about an hour.

Within the hour, the penetrated side of the buildings started spewing black smoke, a sign of cooling rather than heating up, which produces a lighter smoke. All of a sudden, molten chunks started falling from the side of the buildings. This is not consistent with the black smoke next to it. What happened next shocked the world, or at least anyone with a high school understanding of physics.

Instead of a slow melting process, both buildings dramatically collapsed completely into their own footprint in 10.3 seconds. Why is that so significant?

Well, that’s “free fall” speed. In other words, I could’ve dropped a coin from the roof of the buildings and the coin would’ve reached the ground at the same time as the falling roof upon which I was standing. How could anyone explain this other than

by Rudy Giuliani’s new revolutionary scientific insight known as the “pancake collapse?”

Thankfully, an actual physicist visited the smoldering rubble and took several samples from the wreckage and dust.

Dr. Steven Jones, a professor from Brigham Young University, gathered and studied these samples thoroughly. What he found in common with each sample was the existence of high levels of Thermate. This is not to be confused with a more widely used compound called thermide. Why split hairs? Why the difference in capitalization?

This is a defining difference.

As we are told by people in the construction industry who know, thermide is a compound found often in paint. A convenient cover for those who count on us not to notice the difference in the words “thermide” and “Thermate.” As the samples prove, there was Thermate all around the footprint of WTC 1 and 2. What’s incredible about this existence of Thermate, with a capital “T,” is that it is a patented product used exclusively for the enterprise of controlled demolition. Nothing else.

Remember, the terrorists we’re told about had box cutters, not 2 tons of Thermate. That’s kind of hard to sneak onto a plane.

What should cause people to ask more questions of the story surrounding the tragedy is the role of Larry Silverstein, owner of Silverstein Properties and holder of the lease of the World Trade Center Property.

9/11: Fact, Physics, and Foreign Policy

by Cameron Cutrone

War end, and eager to focus on matters closer to home. That is why in “Rebuilding America’s Defenses” they admit that the very idea of their “revo-

lution in military affairs” would be “unpopular...and long, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event, like a NEW PEARL HARBOR.” (page 51).

The document spells it out for us. All they needed was a new enemy.

Continues . . .

A month before the incident, Mr. Silverstein took out a new insurance policy to the tune of tens of millions of dollars. After the tragedy, Silverstein was given a payout of tens of billions of dollars. Amazingly, his profiting from the catastrophe wasn’t enough. He’s still suing the government for damages and has hired private thugs to surround him everywhere he goes, harassing anyone who tries to speak with him. To add insult to injury, he went on a PBS documentary and admitted that, in regards to WTC building 7, “there was such damage and loss of life, that the decision was made to pull it.” Ask any engineer or demolition expert what “pull it” means, and you’ll soon find out why footage of that interview is getting harder and harder to find. All signs here point to a controlled demolition.

Even his words imply so.

How many days do you think it would take to rig all these buildings with explosives? Consider the sheer size of buildings 1 and 2. Consider that if he had made the decision on the day of the tragedy to “pull” building 7, that would have necessitated a demolition crew to enter a burning building and plant explosives.

That’s ridiculous! But check the video. How does a building that hasn’t even been hit by anything and have only isolated pockets of fire manage to fall at free fall speed into it’s own footprint?

Again, check the video. In fact, even check the video of the BBC reporting the collapse of building 7 ten minutes BEFORE it even happened! What one could discern from this is an extraordinary amount of planning.

So let’s go even farther back in time. In 1997, an extremely well connected group of policy makers and politicians came together and formed a short lived think tank called the Project for a New American Century (PNAC). One of it’s only foundational and public documents is called “Rebuilding America’s Defenses,” released in September of 2000. In this document you will find repeated references to what they call a need for a “revolution in military affairs.” This was a reaction to a lot of post-Cold War thinking that was popular amongst many Americans: the notion that the Cold War was over, we are an undisputed superpower, and can therefore afford to pack up many of our military assets and bases to bring home and essentially act like a Republic again. This was unacceptable to the neo-con leaning PNAC, who wanted to prolong and continually project American military power in every corner of the world.

Read the document. It is a blueprint for imperialism.

This kind of imperialism was one we’ve in years past never before fathomed, even under Teddy Roosevelt with his “big stick” policy in Latin America.

No. This kind of imperialism was one that sought to sustain 900 overseas military bases, offensive wars on multiple fronts, and a continual policy of antagonism towards any country that aspired to even a hint of regional dominance in their respective corner of the world.

The document turns from simply a justification for empire building to a dark and twisted pitch for genocidal warfare on page 60: “advanced forms of biological warfare that can target specific genotypes may transform biological warfare from the realm of terror to a politically useful tool.” What is implied here is that one could, for instance, chemically bomb the Palestinian Territories and never risk killing any Jews. Or that one could safely “neutralize” a village in Afghanistan and not risk killing a single American G.I. (provided that they aren’t of Afghani lineage.) Scary, right?

What we consider genocide, the PNAC folks would like to recast as “humanitarian warfare.”

Why discuss this? It’s twisted

and rotten and we have 9/11 to thank for it. The neo-cons got their new Pearl Harbor. The nation accepted permanent war out of reactionary fear. Our morality, in terms of foreign policy, has been in a virtual race to the bottom. As Donald Rumsfeld famously put it, “it’s time to take the gloves off,” meaning we have to get as dirty as our enemy.

So who else is behind the Project for a New American Century? The signatures on the “Rebuilding America’s Defenses” report are a who’s who of the neo-con movement: Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Bill Kristol, Jeb Bush, Norman Podhoretz, Steve Forbes, etc. Basically, it is a cabal of major politicians, academics, media, and industry moguls.

One has to wonder why Dick Cheney chose to stand down and hide in his bunker when he was told with 45 minutes notice that something in the sky was heading on a collision course for the Pentagon when it only takes 10 minutes to scramble a fighter jet from Andrews Airforce Base to the Pentagon.

Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta’s testimony of this fact is possibly the only real bit of truth that the 9/11 Commission uncovered about the events of Sept. 11th. However, it’s enough to get you thinking.

More importantly, look at the people surrounding our current president. Is their foreign policy any different? Zbigniew Brzezinski, Obama’s admitted foreign policy mentor, came out in 1997 with his own hegemonic vision of US foreign policy in a book titled “The Grand Chessboard.”

Read it and ask yourself if there is a dime’s worth of difference between his philosophy and that of PNAC’s. Our current administration is continuing the same policies abroad. In fact, Brzezinski was Jimmy Carter’s Secretary of Defense and was primarily responsible for the act of arming and radicalizing the Mujahideen in Afghanistan to fight the Soviets in the 70’s.

Conveniently, those same “freedom fighters” became the “terrorists” we had to smoke out of their caves after 9/11. So the foreign policies are a little too seamless.

One could see 9/11 as the unintended consequences of prior interventions. Another may see it as a well orchestrated conspiracy. Yet another could see it as a few angry Muslims who hated our freedom. Some prefer to believe a tiny but powerful group let it happen in order to garrison support for a precooked policy. Ten years later, I must ask myself, does it even matter? Our foreign policy has drifted far from that of a limited constitutional Republic. Masses of otherwise good-hearted people have been bullied into putting their questions aside, and been convinced that this foreign policy is just and rational. The “post 9/11 mindset” is draining our military assets. It has caused the needless deaths of thousands of young American men and women, and has not made us any safer.

9/11, ten years later. Is it still worth investigating? For all the forementioned reasons, I say hell yes.

The Project for a New American Century knew this would be a hard sell to a public that was happy to see the Cold

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The San Marcos Paranormal Society Investigates... Tantra Coffee House

The San Marcos Paranormal Society Investigates... Tantra Coffee House On August 12th, members of the San Marcos Paranormal Society along with a team from smtx.com/The Weird Show conducted an in-depth investigation at Tantra Coffee House.

Tantra is located at 217 West Hopkins Street in San Marcos, Texas. The building that Tantra currently occupies is over 100 years old. It was originally constructed as a private residence and has seen such businesses over the years as a gift shop and tattoo parlor before becoming Tantra in 2006.

Claims of the paranormal at Tantra include the sounds of footsteps going up and down the stairs, footsteps on the second floor, objects moving including glasses and chairs,

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and the claim of an apparition of a young female on the stairs.

Team members spent several hours trying to debunk and/ or substantiate these alleged claims.

The San Marcos Paranormal team utilizes equipment including levels, EMF detectors, ambient thermometers, digital audio recorders, cameras, and visual light and infrared camcorders. However, our biggest assets are our team members who pull from their training and experience to help solve these puzzles.

During this investigation, several team members had some personal experiences. The term “creepy” has been mentioned by both team members and employees of the business.

A couple of odd noises were also captured on the equipment.

These, however, were not enough to conclude anything about the paranormal claims.

What our team did find is a house with several uneven floors and some high EMF readings.

Uneven floors and tilting buildings can cause what is known as a “fun house” effect. This phenomenon can lead the person to experience disorientation dizziness and light headedness.

High EMF fields may lead individuals to experience dizziness, nausea, feelings of anxiety and paranoia, and potential hallucinations. With these factors in mind, it is possible that some of the claims of paranormal activity may be caused by something rational, natural and explainable.

With that said The San Marcos Paranormal Society plans on conducting at least one more future investigation. The team members had a memorable experience and Tantra coffee house invites anyone to come during normal business hours, enjoy a cup of coffee, a beer, and/or a sandwich and have their own Tantra experience.

For more information about the San Marcos Paranormal Society, please look for their Facebook group page or send them an email to sm10260@gmail.com.

Until the next investigation...

CD Review: Kyle Buda Hays A Review by Russell Dowden gives us a tribute to some of the old legends that came before. The Album is chocked full of classics from Woody Guthrie, Utah Phillips, JD Crowe, John Prine, and even a Janes Addiction cover as well as The Stones “Paint It Black”.

WELCOME BACK CUTTER Weird Magazine got our grubby hands on the new CD from infamous local folk singer songwriter and master of drinking cold beer: Kyle Buda Hays.

Yes, “Welcome Back Cutter” is the new release from the long time folk legend from San Marcos.

In this recent album, Hays

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The CD is also comprised of a lot of classic radio commercials mixed throughout the tracks;from Flintsones cigarette endorsements, to old school government PSA’s on despotism, and Good Times clips on the Federal Reserve.

The end of track 10 is funny as hell as Hays uses Woody Allen’s Clip from his film “Bananas” where The New Revolutionary Dictator of San Marcos declares himself your new President.

He goes on to tells us that the official lan-

guage of San Marcos from now on will be Swedish and that all citizens are required to change wear their underwear every 30 minutes, and are to

wear them on the outside of clothing as a matter of regular inspection. It is a good thing that Kyle Buda Hays has a great sense of humor.

This hard drinking self proclaimed songwriter, and avid shooter of guns is as TEXAN as they get!Kyle Buda Hays is more than meets the eye, and Welcome Back Cutter is mixed with humor and style.

Pick up a copy of “Welcome Back Cutter” at Sundance Records!

LooseLeaf: Preview

By Johnathan Pants

In this month’s segment of fly music you should be catching at your local venues and with which groove the night away,

We present Loose Leaf. They played their first show in April of 2010 at Red Eye Fly. It was arranged by their bassist, Da-

vid Hunter Thacker, who had previously played there with a different band of his, for which he played guitar. David picked up the bass at the same time as he became the bassist for this funky psychedelic jam band that has risen and advanced quite quickly in the last year and a half. Keither Perkins and Spencer Johnson, the bands guitarists, have known each other and played together for years. They bring two different styles of guitar and trade for lead and rhythm often in each of their sets. Craig Andrew knew them from back home and introduced them to his neighbor and at the time new jam buddy, David. Keither and David developed a song writing dynamic that has contributed in bringing this band to new and higher levels with each performance.

These are 4 Dead Head, Phish fans bringing the funk and getting people groovy.

This is a town that is a host to and supports many talented and skilled local performers.

Loose Leaf has both qualities and was recognized as such quickly by fans of all sorts, including local musicians. They have had the opportunity to play with and for many of the local giants and have held their own and risen to their abilities. Their funky jams take experiencer’s on a symbiotic journey of music and dancing and laughter and love in Dionysian splendor.

Loose Leaf’s two most recent shows have been monumental.

One was at Tantra with Blacktop Ninjas. At this performance their music and energies bellowed out onto the streets and nearby shops drawing in passersby unaware of the show that night, bringing dancing and laughter to unexpecting San Martians. It was a great night for music and dancing.

They also kept fannies shaking at the Texas Music Theater with Kabomba and Subrosa Union, at which they head lined. They got the men goovin and the ladies swooning.

They have been on break from shows over the summer. They have not, however, been on break from practicing. They have been focusing on practicing to practice and have fun rather than practicing for an upcoming gig. This has brought them six new songs in the making that I hope we will be graced with soon.

Loose Leaf will be performing on September 8th at Triple Crown with Are You Crazy?

Headlining the show and En Route opening. They will be rockin San Marcos’ own outdoor music venue, the revered Tantra, on October 13th.

Johnathan Pants

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A NICE LITTLE SLICE OF

COLLEGE ADVICE WITH MISS TIPSY

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It’s time to get the party started W

elcome back, Bobcats! This school year should be a good one, and Weird will be with you every step of the way. Be sure to pick us up monthly at dozens of locations in San Marcos. We will keep you up to speed on the best places to hang out, events to attend and all around weird and awesomeness.

As this new semester dawns, I am going

to publish a college advice column in every issue. I hope you will remember to read when you get a chance, and feel free to submit any suggestions, questions or comments you may have to tipsycollegeadvice@gmail.com.

So, you might be asking yourself, “What makes Miss Tipsy qualified to write an advice column targeted at a college

Miss Tipsy’s Mailbox Dear Miss Tipsy, Lately I have been faced with an issue that I’m not sure how to handle. My little sister is a 17-year-old high school senior who just got her first fake ID. She lives a few hours away in our hometown. I recently turned 21, and I had a fake ID up to that point as well. However, I did not start using a fake ID until I got to college.

I feel like my sister is too young to have a fake ID, but does that make me a hypocrite?

How should I deal with this situation? I am not comfortable with her using the fake at such a young age.

— ConfuseD on sagewooD

her behavior when you obviously do not approve. There’s really no way to control what she does a few hours away, but when she comes to visit you or vice versa, suggest other fun things to do besides going out to a bar. Take her out to dinner and a movie, go bowling or invite friends over for a barbecue. If she insists on going out for a drink, you will be better off telling her how you really feel and refusing to participate.

When siblings butt heads, there is usually not an easy answer. You will just have to figure out how to work out your differences the way you always have.

Dear ConfuseD, Personally, I think any minor using a fake ID is a bad idea. Maybe it seems slightly hypocritical of you to disapprove of your sister’s behavior since you used a fake ID yourself, but you are still her older sister and have a responsibility to look out for her best interest.

If you take her out for a night on the town, keep in mind that you could get in serious trouble if you are caught with a drunk minor. Also, this would send the message that you are condoning

Dear Miss Tipsy, I’m an education major starting my last semester at Texas State. My plan, like so many others, has been to move back in with my parents after I’m done with classes to complete my student teaching close to home.

As the time approaches, I’m not sure if this is still the direction I want to take with my life, but I feel like my parents might be expecting me to follow through with that plan. However, it’s still an

audience?” Well, let’s just say that I spent lots of time in college, so I’m an expert.

(Who graduates in four years these days, anyway?) I will offer tips, feature cocktail recipes, expand your vocabulary and tell you how to play fun drinking games.

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for the fun to begin. So let’s go to the mailbox for some questions.

TIPSYCOLLEGEADVICE@GMAIL.COM

option, and I’m wondering if you have any advice on how to make the transition back to living at home?

— JusT Thinking @ hillsiDe ranCh Dear JusT Thinking, I have found myself in a similar situation. I moved back in with my parents after being on my own for more than two years. It’s usually not something people want to do, but moving back in with your folks can sometimes be a good idea to help you get ahead.

If you find yourself back in your childhood bedroom, tell yourself it is only temporary and set a timeframe for when you would like to have your own place again. Take steps to make that goal happen. If your parents are the type that insist that you still abide by all the same household rules you had when you were in high school, I guess you have no choice but to respect that. If anything, this will be incentive to reach your mental moving out deadline.

If you make the decision to move back in with your parents, you might as well make the best of the experience by planning regular pedicure dates with

your mom, organizing a game night for your whole family or committing to cook dinner once a week. These activities will offer a fun way to make the time fly by. Also, it might be helpful to reserve a couple of weekends throughout the semester to go back to your college town and stay with friends.

Remember that you are an adult. When it comes to deciding what to do after college, don’t limit your options. After all, there is a world of opportunities out there waiting for you. Moving home does not necessarily have to be your only choice. Explore all of your options, and maybe a better opportunity will surface as a result.

As you begin your life after school, you have to find your own path and decide what is best for you. If your parents are going to cut you off after college, then it might be time to start saving money or figure out how you can earn some extra income. Taking out a small loan is another option. But again, set goals and strive to reach them.

Where there’s a will there’s a way, but most importantly you need to do some soul searching and figure out what you truly want to do with your life.

KILLER COCKTAIL RECIPE

PINK GRAPEFRUIT MARGARITA INGREDIENTS: • 2 Limes, cut into wedges • Kosher Salt (In a shallow dish for rimming the glasses) • 1 Cup Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice (fresh or store-bought) • 1 tablespoon superfine sugar • 2 cups Triple Sec • 2 cups good-quality silver tequila • Ice

PREPARATION: Rub the outside rim of each margarita glass with one of the lime wedges. Press the top of each glass in the kosher salt to coat the rim.

Combine the grapefruit juice, sugar, triple sec, and tequila in a pitcher. Stir until the sugar dissolves. Serve on the rocks, or blend with ice for frozen. Garnish with a lime wedge.

WEIRD WORD:

COLLEGE IS A PLACE FOR LEARNING. I’M HERE TO EXPAND YOUR VOCABULARY.

FACEHOOK -

(face ∙ hook) The act of being hooked on Facebook. Constant social networking that impedes reallife interactions.

Ex: Mila is a terminal facehook... no life at all but social networking.

This word and definition are courtesy of urbandictionary. com. If you would like to share a weird word, e-mail tipsycollegeadvice@gmail.com.

Baloos

1900 South 77 Sunshine Strip Harlingen, TX (956) 428-2300

Jessica

W: Hugs or drugs?

Jessica: getting free drinks on my off days W: Are you single?

Jessica: Hugs W: Worst pickup line you’ve ever gotten?

Jessica: “Whats your ethnicity, you look exotic” W: Favorite specialty shot/ drink?

Jessica: Utopia

Contents in Drink?

W:

Hypnotic, vodka, peach shnapps, pineapple,orange, cranberry juice Jessica:

W: AGE? Jessica: 22 W: Years Bartending?

Jessica: NOPE!

Quote of the Night?

"don’t be a p***Y”

W: Favorite movie of all time?

Jessica: Nightmare

before Christmas

Jessica: 3 years W: Your Favorite Night to work?

Jessica: FRIdays W: CONTENTS OF POCKET? Jessica: Bar-key and phone W: Best part about being a bartender at Baloos?

W: First drink you got drunk off of ?

Jessica: Boones farm Fuzzy navel, lol W: If you had a soundtrack for love making? What 3 songs would it include?

Jessica: “Pony” by Genuine for sure, hahaha, next question please,lol

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HAUNTED HOLLYWOOD

By Sean Casteel

DAWN OF THE NEW MILLENNIA

Haunted Hollywood: The Ghosts Of Departed Stars That Still Speak To A California Couple

By Sean Casteel The late great scholar of religious myth, Joseph Campbell, once made an analogy between the ancient gods and movie stars. The way audiences gather in darkened theaters to watch the stories of our “gods” unfold on a big screen – where their images are magnified literally to the size of giants – is not much different from how the ancients congregated in temples to worship the gods of their time. We even speak of certain actors as being “immortal,” forever young on celluloid.

It therefore becomes unsettling to contemplate the notion that, when a movie star dies, he or she might walk the Earth as a restless spirit. In “Hollywood’s Ghosts, The Fabulous Phan-

toms of Filmdom,” Southern California ghost hunter Richard Senate has collected numerous examples of just that kind of story: tales of the eerie twilight world where the insatiable souls of certain cinematic legends return to the locales of their former lives, hungrily trying to fill some dark, spiritual void.

According to Senate, ghost sightings are surprisingly commonplace. Accounts are recorded among the first writings of Babylon, Egypt and China, are laced throughout Greek and Roman history, and even turn up in the Bible. While their true nature remains unknown, they are nevertheless a phenomenon universally experienced by mankind.

However, true ghostly encounters seldom resemble their portrayals in popular culture.

The ghosts we see on television and read about in novels actually reflect a tradition that began with an early 19th-century form of tabloid reporting dubbed “The Penny Dreadfuls” by the more literate upper classes. These publications claimed to tell true-life ghost stories and sold for a penny.

The stories often focused on a ghost returning to the earthly plane to seek revenge for his or her untimely death at the hands of a murderer. But the fact is, most ghosts are not evil or out to scare people.

There seem to be many reasons why a ghost appears at a given moment. Some are spirits who have unfinished business; having died in the middle of their tasks, they return to try

and complete them. Some theorize that ghosts simply do not know they are dead while others believe that ghosts might be the manifestation of emotional traces left behind in the environment, sort of like a footprint on the fabric of time.

Still others believe that ghosts might be visions from a parallel dimension.

Whatever their origin and nature, it seems that anyone can see a ghost anywhere at any time, even in the mean streets of Hollywood.

THE RESTLESS SOUL OF MARILYN MONROE

One such ghost story in Senate’s collection involves the death of Marilyn Monroe. It started in 1994 when British reporter Frank Durham interviewed Senate for an article on the supernatural.

Durham was quite taken with Senate’s wife, Debbie, a gifted psychic who promptly gave him an on-the-spot reading. The reading proved to be accurate, which sold Durham on Debbie’s unique psychic gift.

Later, whenever Durham returned to Los Angeles, he made it his custom to invite the Senates out for the evening.

On one such occasion, as the trio was having dinner at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills, Durham invited the Senates to go ghost-hunting. They agreed, and after dinner, Durham drove the couple to the Westwood Cemetery, the final resting place for a number of celebrities, including Marilyn Monroe.

Durham and the Senates happened to be there on Monroe’s birthday and found her grave decorated with flowers, lipstick

kiss marks and notes.

When Durham asked Debbie if she could communicate with Monroe, Debbie put her hands on the gravestone and started trembling. In a near trance, she began to recite the story of Monroe’s last day, relating how the ill-fated star had been murdered by people she trusted.

The tragic story also involved an illegitimate child and a scandal that would have destroyed the Kennedy family.

Durham tape-recorded Debbie’s graveside monologue and attempted to verify it with various experts. He was impressed that several elements of Debbie’s reading were later confirmed by investigators who were looking into the star’s death. But, admittedly, he found nothing concrete enough to provide absolute proof of this darker version of the story of Monroe’s demise.

A GHOST BLOWS HIS OWN HORN Another ghost with whom the Senates may have had contact is that of the legendary actor Montgomery Clift. In preparation for his role as the trumpetplaying soldier in the 1953 classic “From Here To Eternity,” Clift was learning to play the trumpet in his hotel room at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel while he dried out from an alcoholic binge. Clift would practice the trumpet into the wee hours of the morning, much to the displeasure of the other guests.

More than fifty year later, it is said that the sound of Clift’s trumpet is still heard there.

To explore the rumor, Senate and his wife conducted a séance in Clift’s ninth-floor hotel room in an attempt to contact the actor. They had borrowed a trumpet from a friend and brought it along to encourage the musical ghost to appear.

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HAUNTED HOLLYWOOD

By Sean Casteel

DAWN OF THE NEW MILLENNIA

Continued . . . .

The Senates did receive a rambling story from a spirit about his concern for an illegitimate daughter he had left behind, but they were unable to ascertain whether the spirit was Clift as the entity refused to give his name. Given the way the studio publicity departments used to guard the private lives of the stars who were in their care, there is likely no way of verifying whether Clift himself had an illegitimate daughter, so the spirit’s identity remains elusive.

After the séance, the Senates went to sleep, leaving the trumpet standing on its bell on the bedside table. They awoke the next morning to find the trumpet across the room on the floor. Nobody had touched it, and there had been no earthquake to account for the instrument’s mysterious movement.

Had Clift’s ghost appeared and thrown the trumpet across the room in a drunken rage?

near Los Angeles, a restaurant that was frequented by many stars. After treating the couple to dinner, Durham again suggested that they do a little ghost-hunting. As he prodded Debbie for more psychic information, the reporter drove them to The Viper Room, a popular club on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood.

thought it was stupid to die from an overdose because of peer pressure.”

A CURSE ON JAMES DEAN

James Dean is another Hollywood legend who has left more behind than the proverbial

DEATH TAKES NO HOLIDAYS

Even the relatively clean and sober can end up as a ghost in Hollywood. Take the case of the young actor River Phoenix.

Phoenix led a fairly healthy lifestyle, rarely indulging in drugs or alcohol. He was generally regarded as a real up-and-comer in the movie business, earning rave reviews and comparisons to previous youthful stars, such as James Dean. Yet he died of a drug overdose on Halloween Night, 1993, at the age of 23.

Sometime in the early months of 1994, Durham had invited the Senates to have dinner at Gladstone’s, a pricey seafood place on the beach

“It’s just a bit slow, that’s all,” came the eerie reply.

The entity identified himself as British actor Alan Mowbray, who said he had appeared in the movies “The King and I” and “My Darling Clementine.” After answering a series of questions put to him, the actor’s spirit went on a tirade about a supposed warlock named Samson DeBrier.

Debbie was particularly animated that night, talking and laughing and in general having a good time. But when she got out of the car, her whole demeanor changed and she nearly collapsed on the exact spot, they later learned, where Phoenix had died a few months previously. She then received a communication from Phoenix’s spirit in which he expressed regret over his accidental death.

“He told her that he shouldn’t have taken the pills,” Senate said.

“He was mad at himself for trying to fit in and popping pills and taking that drink. He

good-looking corpse. There are a lot of reports of ghostly sightings linked to Dean, including tales of the car in which he died being haunted. Yet oddly enough, Senate came to Dean’s story by way of the historic ocean liner, “The Queen Mary.”

In 1994, Senate and Debbie were conducting a séance onboard the long-retired ship, which is now docked at a pier in Long Beach, California. He had succeeded in raising the voices of several spirits when one particular entity burst in, demanding that the captain of the ship increase the speed at which they were “traveling.”

“Do you know that the ship isn’t moving?” Senate asked the spirit through Debbie.

As Mowbray told it, DeBrier was a homosexual who had made amorous advances on Dean, which the actor had summarily rejected.

DeBrier then put a curse on Dean, who died in an infamous auto accident two weeks later.

After the séance, Senate discovered that there really was a man named Samson DeBrier who claimed to have been a warlock and to have had special powers, such as clairvoyance and the ability to cast curses on his unfortunate enemies.

Interestingly enough, DeBrier

supposedly also had the ability to cast good-luck spells as well, and it was rumored that some actors felt he had actually helped their careers.

Senate also learned that DeBrier had thrown large parties at his home on Barton Street in Hollywood, drawing such luminaries as Jack Nicholson.

Was DeBrier merely a “social butterfly” who claimed to have a sorcerer’s skill in order to seem more interesting to celebrities?

Or was he the real thing, able to literally kill using the black arts?

Some laugh it off, Senate says, and others do not.

Ray Davies of the Kinks once sang that “celluloid heroes never really die.” It is a strange truth of deceased movie stars that we can still see them move about and speak their lines, unlike still photographs that are mute and motionless. They continue to live and breathe right before our eyes long after they have shuffled off this mortal coil. But is it also true that some of the deceased among Hollywood’s royalty somehow hover between the world of the dead and our everyday living reality?

It’s the kind of thing you could make a movie about.

THE END

Page 17 • weirdmagazine.com

ALEC EXPOSED

By Jay Abazi

ALEC EXPOSED

By Jay Abazi The recent union battles in Wisconsin were over the state legislations new bills that removed worker’s bargaining rights and pretty much killed the unions in the state. With thousands of people protesting at the capital and the walk-off of many Democrats, the Conservative stronghold passed the union killing bill anyway. So many citizens in the state lost a lot that day and the government gained very little. The purpose of the bill was mainly for one reason, to help big business.

Many people know that big business controls the government, or at least has a say in what goes on there, but many don’t know that there is an actual group that consists of state lawmakers and businessmen that actually vote on bills that are introduced into state legislation. This group is called ALEC (American Legislative Exchange Council).

ALEC is a Conservative, nonprofit, lobbying group (although they say they are a non-lobbying

group) that was founded in 1973. It consists of over 2,000 members- many being from American corporations- that believe in limited government, free markets, federalism and individual liberty. There are 85 members from Congress, 14 of which are current or former Governors. Some of the alumni of ALEC are House Speaker John Boehner, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, and many more.

Every year ALEC has a secret meeting for all members including state lawmakers to discuss new bills or change current ones to benefit certain corporations.

They call these “Model Bills”.

The Model Bills are introduced at these meetings by the corporations and then are voted on by all members. Once the vote is over and the Model Bill has been approved it then goes to the Business Sector Board for final approval. Once approved by the board it then goes to state legislation where it is pushed by the state lawmakers into law.

Many consider this lobbying but ALEC says “no lobbying takes place”. The current chairman of the Corporate Board was a lobbyist for Phillip Morris. In fact, 20 of the 24 corporate

representatives on the ALEC “Private Enterprise Board” are lobbyists representing major firms like Koch Industries, Bayer, Wal-Mart, and Johnson & Johnson. ALEC makes old-fashioned lobbying obsolete. Once legislators return to their state with a corporate-sponsored ALEC bill in hand, the legislators themselves become “superlobbyists” for ALEC’s corporate agenda. Yet, somehow they enjoy a 501(c) (3) classification which allows them to be taxexempt and at the same time accept grants from foundations and corporations.

More than 98% of ALEC’s revenues come from corporations, corporate trade groups, and corporate foundations.

Each member pays an annual fee up to $25,000 and other additional fees, but most of the money comes from corporate grants such as ExxonMobil which has given $1.4 million and corporate families like the Koch Family of Koch Industries which brings money in through their foundation. Less than 2% comes from membership dues paid by state legislators at a steeply discounted rate of $50 a year.

It almost seems like you have to join if you’re a state representative. You can’t even join a gym for that kind of money.

But everybody knows a greedy, money-hungry politician is more common than the common cold. So why do legislators join and help pass bills that only help corporations and not the citizens that they represent?

It’s not a pay check because that would be illegal and they would be banned from all legislative powers. It’s more the perks than anything else. Legislators receive all-expenses paid trips to all ALEC meetings and outings and the opportunity to rub shoulders with wealthy captains of industry. For a few hours of work they get to bring the whole family to the conventions and stay in swank hotels, attend private parties and even raise funds for their campaigns.

Although ALEC claims to

take an ideological stance of Jeffersonian principles, many of the model bills benefit corporations. A recent tobacco legislation written by ALEC members would put a narrow tax break for moist tobacco that would make fruit flavored tobacco products cheaper. A huge benefit for Phillip Morris who makes a product called Snus that is a fruit flavored chewing tobacco. Phillip Morris was the co-sponsor of that bill, surprisingly. Another tobacco giant, Reynolds and pharmaceutical firm Bayer benefited from the ALEC Tort Reform Bill that makes it harder for people to sue when injured by their products.

Another bill that just passed in Wisconsin, called the Health Savings Account bill was written

by ALEC and passed through

by ALEC alumni Scott Walker.

The bill benefited health insurance companies like Humana and United Healthcare, whom are ALEC members. Plus, the recent killing of unions in that state was mainly the power of the ALEC and its corporate members.

Another popular issue with the Conservative-based ALEC is with keeping its legislative members in office as long as possible and keeping them in control of the government. One way of doing that is by controlling who votes. If every American voted a conservative Republican would never win, and they know that. Most studies have shown that the people who vote Republican are wealthy, middle-aged and/or religious.

Unfortunately, most Americans don’t fit that category. The people who almost always vote Democratic are African-Amer-

icans, Hispanics, lower-middle class or poor people and college students.

So, to keep from Democrats having a clean sweep in every election the ALEC came up with an idea that seems harmless but ends up seeming almost racially motivated. The Voter ID Act of 2009 recently passed in Wisconsin by ALEC alumni Scott Walker. The bill makes it harder to vote by only accepting a valid driver’s license. This would keep 52% of African-Americans in Wisconsin from voting and most college students because a lot of students are from out of state so their only option would be to go back to the state the ID is issued to vote. Stripping away that many Democratic voters will give the GOP at least a chance of winning. Pretty soon it will be a law in almost every state.

There is a difference between lobbyists and the ALEC, and at the same time they are alike.

They both influence laws to benefit a certain corporation or group. But lobbyists do it solely for the money. The ALEC does it for control and power. The ALEC is more like a group of the best lobbyists that write bills for their corporations and make legislators pass them into law. When you create your own laws and rewrite the current ones to benefit your corporation, it is more than lobbying. Big business has taken over our government and our politicians. We need to find the ones who can’t be bought and vote for them. There’s got to be at least one, right?

Page 20 • weirdmagazine.com

LOOSE LEAF Looseleaf:Triple Crown on September 8th

W:Welcome to Weird Magazine introduce Loose Leaf.

Looseleaf:We got D-thack, or just David if you will, on the bass, team Keither and Spencer or Spencer and Keither on the two geetars, and Captain Craig back there keepin’ the beat.

w:Why the name? Is there some hidden meaning?

Looseleaf : Spencers brother Phil thought of it and it just worked. It flows, which is what our music is about. Hidden meanings in a name are to be interpreted for yourselfs.

w:Where can we see you guys perform this September?

w: Name some

have a lot of talented people and it has been a blast to play with them. We are very grateful to be here!

of your influences, sounds pretty groovy in w: What inspires Loose Leaf? a Phish sort of way.

Looseleaf: We are all heavily influenced by Phish, yes. And we all are obviously obsessed with the greats such as Zeppelin, Floyd, The Grateful Dead, and The Beatles.

Looseleaf: The people that come out to our shows. Their big goofy smiles make us all warm because it genuinely shows that our music can make them happy. And Dogs.

writing process?

Looseleaf: David and Keither are primary song writers, but there is a very loose way the songs become what you hear.

They may come with a very sketchy but organized piece but no one’s parts are written out for them. Most licks that have stuck come from ‘in the moment’ jams where we just feel individually where the song should go. And if someone hears something another likes we’re all quick to the ‘I like that, I like that!’ do that everytime!

w:12 Monkeys, Independence Day, A Boy and His Dog, or Soilent Green.

Which Apocalyptic Film is the Best?

Looseleaf: Uhh..we are all about The Terminator.

As a group, w: How was the Triple w: What was the motiCrown show the other vation for “Black Coffee we are inw: Hell or Texas, night?

Night”? which is Hotter? fluenced by Looseleaf:Great! The crowd Looseleaf:It’s essentially about STS9, GalacLooseleaf: Texas. was pumped, the jams were not being able to fall asleep due Yes. Come on San Marcos, flowing and we pulled it off even an ambiguous feeling of criptic, Lotus, just to lets rain dance! with several technical difficulpling guilt. You go a little crazy. ties the bands on The clock ticking gets louder than a train whistle. You think w: Next Show? the circuit about those that w: How long has the band have wronged you and those Looseleaf:September 8th at the right now. been together? that you have wronged. You Triple Crown.

There’s a lot of really great music out there…A LOT…and we can all agree were very honored to play in the area we do with the people we do. These hills

know, your basic Elton Johnsian Disney song.

w: Describe the song

Looseleaf: 2 years with short breaks in between

October 13th at the Tantra.

Page 22 • weirdmagazine.com Page 22 • weirdmagazine.com

The Economics of Drink, Drive, Go To Jail Another government lie!

by Jamie Balagia and Tristan Dau

As long as the gainers gain more than the losers lose, the move is deemed efficient.” This economic approach to policy making means that as long as there are net gains, the policy will be Kaldor-Hicks efficient, despite welfare losses for some groups.

The Economics of Drink, Drive, Go To Jail Another government lie!

by Jamie Balagia and Tristan Dau While it may not be commonly known that a person may drive a motor vehicle while having a Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) of less than 0.08. There is a large misconception that consumption of any amount of alcohol should not be allowed if someone is getting behind the wheel. This is more commonly known as a zero tolerance policy. This article will discuss in economic terms why the law was created this way and why we do not want to have a zero tolerance policy. You need to inform your friends and neighbors of the truth in this article.

Applicable Economic Theories Economic Explanation of Kaldor-Hicks Efficiency and Pareto Efficiency Legislators attempt to create legislation and then enact these laws in order to deter a type of activity. Richard A. Posner discusses in his book Economic Analysis of Law, a belief held by legislators which assumes an economic tenet where people make rational decisions in all areas of their life so as to maximize their self interests.

“The concept of man as a rational maximizer implies that people respond to incentives – that if a person’s surroundings change in such a way that he could increase his satisfaction by altering his behavior, he will do so.”

In order for a rational person to maximize their self interests, that person’s actions must be efficient. The economic idea of efficiency requires a person to expend the least amount of re-

sources in an effort to ascertain the most value. Posner points out that the economic value of a thing is defined as the amount a person would pay for it, or for how much a person would sell it.

To discuss Kaldor-Hicks efficiency, it is important to discuss Pareto efficiency first. In order for a policy to be efficient under the Pareto efficiency theory, at least one party to the transaction must be made better off and no party can be made worse off. The theory assumes that since the parties to a transaction are made better off, affected third parties are not made worse off. This is a major flaw with the theory because it does not take into account the actual effect a transaction will have on third parties. In reality, it is difficult to achieve Pareto efficiency since changes in policy will inevitably affect a third person. Therefore, it does not have much practical application to policies that occur in the real world.

Kaldor-Hicks efficiency involves the maximization of wealth.

This theory is very similar in respect to Pareto efficiency. For policy goals the main difference between the two theories is, in dealing with Kaldor-Hicks, the individual made better off by the transaction has to be made sufficiently better off so that he or she would be able to compensate those individuals whom are put in a worse position. The key is that the compensation is only potential, it is not actual.

The Kaldor-Hicks criterion focuses on a comparison between the net gains and net losses of different groups. “In practical terms, the Kaldor-Hicks criterion requires a comparison of the gains of one group and the losses of the other group.

Since compensation need only be potential, the distribution of wealth takes a back seat.

Economic Analysis Applied to DWI , DWI, A Socially Acceptable Activity In order to begin the economic analysis of whether or not DWI legislation is Kaldor-Hicks efficient, an assumption concerning the desirability of allowing people to drive with some amount of alcohol in their system must be made. While the idea may seem counterintuitive, driving while intoxicated occurs frequently enough to assume that it is socially accepted. A study performed by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) found that between the years 1985 through 1990, approximately 670,000 people had been arrested for DWI. In a different report, the Texas Department of Public Safety published a driving under the influence (DUI) arrest report in 1999, which found that the DUI arrest rate was 463.5 arrests for every 100,000 people. In 2008, 43% of all traffic fatalities in Texas were due to people found to be DWI. As shocking as these numbers seem, it is important to note that these numbers only reflect the people that were caught and arrested for DWI. These statistics do not account for the number of people that actually drove while they were intoxicated.

There is currently no way to track the actual number of people that drive while under the influence of alcohol or a controlled substance. However, the majority of people may assume, and perhaps do assume, that the number of individuals driving under the influence is actually far greater than the number of those individuals actually arrested. The conclusion that can be drawn from these figures alone is that driving with some amount of alcohol, at the very least, is a socially accepted activity.

Kaldor-Hicks Criterion Application The classical uses of economic theories like Kaldor-Hicks and Pareto efficiency have been commonly applied to regulatory policy. In the case of evaluat-

ing a DWI we have three parties involved in the transaction; the Government, the Individual, and Society which is the third party that may be affected. The Government, whom is tasked with the obligation to protect Society, is harmed by the Individual who drives while intoxicated. The Individual is harmed by the Government’s prohibition against driving while intoxicated because the Individual will have to spend additional resources to not drive intoxicated. The question, under the theory of KaldorHicks efficiency, is whether or not to allow the Individual to drive with some amount of alcohol in the system.

To answer this question we have to determine the gains the Individual will accumulate through this activity, as well as identify the losses the Government will suffer. Under the Kaldor-Hicks criterion, the Individual must gain more than the Government loses which results in a net gain sufficient enough to potentially compensate Society. If this is the result then we should allow the Individual to drive while intoxicated. The calculation for Kaldor-Hicks efficiency is as follows: Individual Gains – Government Losses = Sufficient Net Gains If there is no gain, or if there is in fact a gain but that gain is not large enough to potentially compensate Society, then the Individual should not be allowed to drive while intoxicated. The benefits the Individual will enjoy from this activity involve utility in time, economical use of money, and social gains. The Individual maximizes his time.

The Individual has the freedom to choose when to leave for and depart from a venue. The alternative would be for the Individual to wait for someone else to transport the Individual around.

This person will also be able to enjoy an economic benefit by driving instead of hiring a cab service or expending additional resources to obtain an alternative form of transportation. The Individual also receives a social gain by receiving status by taking a personal car. The status comes in the form of having a nice car or having the ability to drive other people home.

The Government’s losses involve the costs of repair to public property as well as the costs to maintain public safety. The Government will also have to expend resources to direct fire and emergency services necessary to adequately deal with

traffic accidents which occur as a result of the Individual’s intoxication. However, losses depend on the severity and frequency of an accident as a result of alcohol intoxication greater than a BAC of .08. Any losses the Government will have could be offset by the Individual’s restitution to the Government, fines, and community service.

The costs to Society involve damage to personal and real property, litigation costs, increased taxes, and the loss of life. Society will lose money by having to repair or replace property damaged by the Individual. However, Society could be compensated in the event of a civil suit to recover damages.

The most significant loss Society will endure will be the loss of life. Although there is no value sufficient enough to account for the loss of a life, courts often award punitive damages for the wrongful death of a person. In evaluating this loss of life to society, it must also be measured against the loss of liberty to the Individual.

Allowing the Individual to drive after drinking less than the legal limit would be Kaldor-Hicks efficient because the Individual’s gains are outweighed by the Government’s losses. There is a net gain. It is clear that the Individual’s liberty outweighs the monetary losses the Government endures, the net gains are enough to potentially compensate Society’s losses, if any. After evaluating the gains which could be achieved through the legalizing of DWI, we should continue to allow driving under the legal limit of BAC 0.08. The gain the Individual will achieve, can offset the loss both the Government and Society might suffer.

Lastly, our liberty should not be dictated by an arbitrary number set by NHTSA while threatening to withhold highway funding. NHTSA is nothing more than the financial strongarm of our federal government forcing unpopular and irrational constraints on our liberty. They control the propaganda machine of the prohibition of alcohol and are now stepping into the War on Cannabis with the Drug Recognition Expert program that was detailed in an earlier article. Know your rights or you will lose them, your liberty and your ability to think independent of Big Brother.

Page 24 • weirdmagazine.com

SEPTEMBER CROSSWORD PUZZLE

By Jay Abazi Across

1. Dunk 5. Aircraft weapon (abbr.)

8. Puff of smoke 12. Green mineral for phosphate fertilizer 19. Tibetan Dalai ____ 20. Open meadow 21. and others 22. NHL goalie Evgeni ____ 23. Defeat 25. Actress Campbell 26. Used to make steel (2 wds) 27. Religious imperatives read from Mt. Sinai (2 wds) 30. Poisonous substance in venom 31. Hyundai’s sedans 32. Not here, but ___ 34. Sham-___!

37. Ringworm 38. Move quickly with a humming sound 40. Son of Zeus 45. Supports a wrongdoing 47. 2007 album title of British rock group Fairport Convention 50. Fallen angel of Persian mythology 51. Lima’s country 52. Skyway (2 wds) 53. “Me, Myself & ____” 55. Against 58. Affection 60. Mined rocks 61. South Pacific island known as friendly islands 62. Brittle candy with nuts 65. Office workplace 67. 180th meridian 74. Interlocking brick toy 75. Riot or uprising 76. Cakes like cornbread 77. “See Ya!” 81. A minor and major constellation 83. “It ___ To Discover” 84. Act of adding (2 wds) 85. Crimson Tide school 87. Jason, Todd, Cindy, e.g.

90. Garment worn by Hindu women 91. Roundheads, e.g.

96. Black tea of India 97. Close behind an aircraft 98. Change direction 99. Derogatory remark 101. Finish 102. Slow moving mollusk 104. Room for waiting 106. Lifeless 110. Royal Air Force’s junior aircrew 116. Floor show of dancing 118. Gloomy one 119. Loudest 120. Tendency to wear off 121. Ship used to find the Golden Fleece, in Greek mythology 122. Cashew, e.g.

123. Ice or food ___ 124. Spy; mole 125. A turnip

Page 26 • wwww.eirdmagazine.com

126. Donkey 127. Ache

Down

1. One-armed bandit machine 2. Bathe 3. End a prayer 4. Anthony and Jacobs 5. Graduates 6. Berlin residents 7. plant-eating aquatic mammal 8. Proceeds 9. on a list 10. Hold on to 11. more than enough 12. parsley-like plant 13. Golf term 14. Better than average (2 wds) 15. Quality of sound 16. Office solutions company 17. Actress Spelling 18. Same; tie

24. Blows the horn 28. Afghani flatbread 29. Past, poetically 33. Most improper 34. Elk 35. King of the fairies 36. “They ___ There” 38. Little; very small 39. Egyptian king of the 13th dynasty 41. Capital of Norway 42. Someone who isn’t truthful 43. Texas’ “star” 44. Singles 46. Slight degree of coloration 48. Faucet 49. Warnings or cautions 54. Husband of a countess 55. Rearrange letters from one word to another 56. Greek God of the south wind 57. Chinese God of happiness

59. Unusual person 63. Babylonian sky God 64. Mess with 66. Held on to 68. “The Mathematician” Bernard de___ 69. Roman goddess also called Ops 70. Not tight 71. Opening where fluid enters a channel 72. impulse-conducting cell 73. Caught sight of 77. Spanish snack 78. Unfortunately 79. Sour taste 80. Having the power to do it 82. Earthworm or leech 86. Landing field with single runway 88. Had lunch 89. Third month (abbr) 92. Bad or sinful 93. Egyptian goddess with cow

horns 94. Bunny ears, e.g.

95. Turbo boost to race cars 96. Male organ (plural) 100. Phone number (slang) 103. “They lived happily ever ___” 104. used for sharpening razors 105. horses walking or running

manners

106. Poker’s “pocket rockets” 107. Clay sediment used as fertilizer 108. Woodwind instrument 109. Dismantle

111. Bush’s opponent in 2000 112. Large 113. Roman emperor in 54 114. Russian ruler 115. Inflammation of the eyelid 117. Day before

weirdmagazine@gmail.com

Pals of Central Texas gears up for PETFEST The main event will kick off at 10 a.m. and lasts until 5 p.m. A 5K run, onemile dog jog and kiddie dash will take place prior to the main event.

“People also have the opportunity to enter into contests where they can win prizes, including a pet costume contest and a ‘look like your pet’ contest, which is hilarious,” Boyett said. “People go all out. We have people who spend the entire year coming up with their plans for these costumes.

There are serious contenders for that.”

The San Marcos ROTC will do a showing of the flag, and a formal ceremony will take place to bless the pets. There will be live music through the duration of the event as well as several silent auctions. Face painting and a jump castle will be available for kids. Other activities include trick demos, agility demonstrations and weenie dog and Chihuahua races.

Donations accepted at Petfest benefit spay and neuter programs, such as vouchers for free and low-cost spay and neuter surgeries. People may also donate food to the pet pantry.

PALS of Central Texas gears up for Petfest By: Rachel Nelson weirdrachel@gmail.com Controlling the pet population is a serious subject, according to PALS founding executive director Sharri Boyett.

“But we try to have fun with it,” she said.

The 9th annual Petfest will take place at the San Marcos Plaza Park Oct. 1, and according to Boyett, the free event is “more than a festival.”

Sponsored by PALS of Central Texas, Petfest is the second largest annual festival to take place in San Marcos, next to Sights and Sounds of Christmas.

“It’s the most fun you can have with your pet, and it’s for a really good cause—to preventing pet homelessness and pet overpopulation,” Boyett said.

The family-friendly happening invites people of all ages to bring their four-legged friends as long as they are well behaved and restrained, Boyett said. In past years, people have brought unique pets such as snakes, ferrets, turtles, goats and birds to Petfest.

“We want people to fix their pets because there are too many dying in shelters,” Boyett said.

“There are too many pets and not enough homes.”

For more information about PALS or Petfest, visit preventalitter.com.

Page 27 • wwww.eirdmagazine.com

SHOCK TREATMENT: The Ron Shock interview - Live at Taxi’s Sept 15th you left the corporate world of business to do stand up comedy.

You’ve had a pretty exciting life Ron, is that fair to say?

W: Welcome to Weird Magazine Ron Shock.

How are things going?

Ron Shock: Things are going well for the most part; my wife just quit a 90k job so i am going to have to work more this year than normal but she has my full agreement on what she did, the hours were too long, the pressure was too great and she wasn’t appreciated as much as she should have been so fuck ‘em.

w: We look forward to

me...THAT was the original group and we started because of a TV show we did in Houston of the same name, texas outlaw comics; it came on right after Saturday night live. One of the books has me as the founder but I remember it being Eppy’s idea. I can recommend that people go to you tube and look up: Ron Shock, The Bill Hicks Chronicles: The Texas Outlaw Comics which is a little film about the outlaws, our shows and how we wrote them.

w: A side from Bill, how have the OUTLAWS of comedy done over the years?

having you here in San Marcos on The Weird Show on the 14th and seeing you perform Ron Shock: I am the only one at TAXI’s on the 15th. What who stayed in stand up comedy can folks expect from you but Jimmy and Andy have resurrected from the grave and are new tour?

Ron Shock : Rock and

Roll comedy is what they can expect; Texas is my home state and i relate to the audiences there and have several Texas bits and stories to tell. if the crowd is right then the story about the outlaw bikers titty bar outside of Beaumont will be on the agenda.

w: Tell us about the

OUTLAWS of comedy and what your remember of the 6 of you starting out?

Ron Shock: There were 7 of us; hicks, pineapple, Farnetti, Huggins, Epstein, barber and

working again which is a benefit to all concerned since they are among the very best out there.

I have never missed a beat and will do stand up until I die.

w: Your bio- is intense:

You’ve studied the Priesthood, been in a chain gang in a Parish Prison in LA. after an unsuccessful attempt as a Jewel Thief, I understand you also were VP for a Fortune 500 company, your an inventor with several patents in Electronics, and then at the age of 40, at the top of your game

Ron Shock: Exciting and very, very interesting, and the bio doesn’t even include the women.

LOL

w: Do you have any advice for young comics out there?

Ron Shock:Be original and don’t suck.

w:

Any UFO stories for Weird Magazine readers?

I hear Bill Hicks had a few of those off world adventures with Kevin Booth.

Kevin has been featured in Weird Magazine several times over the years.

Ron Shock: Well,

yes I do but it was under the influence of magic mushrooms: Ellen (#5) and I were in our apartment in Houston tripping when i was transported, out of my body in a beam of yellowish light up through the ceiling and then up and up and up till I was at the door (so to speak) of a spaceship. A voice then said, “who is that with you?”

and i said, “I think it is heather (#4)” and the voice said, “she can’t come” and i was then transported very quickly back into my body in the apartment. Ellen thought that was very funny.

w:

Where are you from originally?

Ron Shock:

hard to say, i was born in albuquerque but lived there only a couple of weeks, I should have been born in Amarillo but my mother went to California to see my dad off to fight in WWII and I bounced out before we got home. During the war, we lived in Amarillo, Tyler and some place in Kansas. After the war we lived in Roswell New Mexico, back to Amarillo and then to Oklahoma city where I ran away from home and lived in New Orleans where I then ended up in parish prison and later, age 17, worked for the New Orleans mob.

As an adult I lived in Houston and Dallas but now live in, and call home, Las Vegas.

w:What are your

thoughts about conspiracies?

Is there a Big Brother Boogieman out there trying to steal our freedom and put us into FEMA Camps?

Ron Shock:

Lee Harvey Oswald did not kill JFK and MLK Jr. was killed by an ATF agent and I can present proof of that

one! But no one ever believes me on it. I tried to tell it to the King family, Spike Lee and several newspapers but..... if we talk in person I will tell you the story and you can put it out there.

Editor Note: (Watch The WEIRD SHOW on WWW.SMTX.TV on Sept 14th at 9pm for more on Conspriracies).

w:

On a lighter note, how has psychedelics helped your experience in comedy or life in general?

Ron Shock:

They opened my mind to all kinds of things which lead me to do all kinds of things which lead me to here.

w:Why do they call you the Storyteller of Comedy?

Ron Shock:

Because I tell long stories if the audience can follow them: Some of the titles are: The world’s greatest dope story, The time the Louisiana highway patrol shot a car out from under me, The time i got caught in bed with the wife of a crazy hillbilly who carried and loaded .45, The best two dog stories you have ever heard, Oral Rroberts and his 900 foot tall Jesus; and last, but certainly not least, The funniest thing i have ever seen and, of course, The outlaw bikers titty bar story alluded to above.

Page 28 • wwww.eirdmagazine.com

Unicycle Football League gears up for seventh season, works on expansion to Austin