The Weekend 09 May 2014 by Weekend-BristolPost

FROM FRIDAY, MAY 9, 2014 ISSUE 103

theatre leaps forward

Actors doing parkour... Millennium Square transformed... Welcome to Mayfest

INSIDE THE GARMENT QUARTER

GET FIT WITH A BUGGY

EMBRACE ON THEIR COMEBACK

THREE BROTHERS AND A BOAT

Alright? How’s your week been? Well, the good news is, it’s the weekend. The better news is that you’re reading a magazine packed with ideas to help you make the most of it – and here are 12 top tips to get you started

31 46 10

IF YOU EXERCISE BUGGYFIT

IF YOU LOVE BEAUTY NAILS

13 16 I F Y O U W A N T T O P L A Y LAZER FUSION

■ Exercising with a new baby is nigh-on impossible – unless you sign up for a Buggyfit class. Mum’s can safely shape up their post-birth bodies, while babies snooze in prams nearby

■ Get your summer beauty regime under way with these top tips for manicures and pedicures. Now hands and feet are more on show, it’s time to keep them looking gorgeous

■ Take a team to Bristol Lazer Fusion and enjoy some harmless hide-and-seek shoot-em-up fun – your pride rather than your body might take a battering.

22 I F Y O U T R Y D U D E F O O D

24 I F Y O U W A N T T O C O O K

■ There’s a new team at what used to be Spyglass, on Welsh Back – Three Brothers offers “dude food” ranging from burgers to wings

■ Iranian cook Sabrina Ghayour’s new book is inspired by Persian and Middle Eastern cooking she learnt from her mother and grandmother

■ Take friends and family to Moonrakers, which sleeps 12, in beautiful St Mawes – it’s a holiday home complete with chef

THREE BROTHERS

2 INDEX ● ● ● ● ●

PERSIANA

from Friday, March 7, 2014

IF YOU GO AWAY CORNWALL

MAKE CONTACT

EDITORIAL: Rachael Sugden, 0117 934 3338, rachael.sugden@b-nm.co.uk ADVERTISING: Paul Kimberley, 0117 934 3780, paul.kimberley@b-nm.co.uk LEAFLET INSERTS: Simon Butler, 0117 934 3741, simon.butler@b-nm.co.uk Printed in Great Britain by Precision Colour Printing COVER ART: David Lewins

56 37

28I F Y O U L O V E A R E V I V A L

■ Embrace disappeared after three number one albums and six top ten singles. Now they are back with a new tour and a new album. Catch their revival at the 02 Academy

■ Edinburgh-born Derek Dick, best known as Fish, frontman of Eighties prog rockers Marillion (don’t we all know their hit single Incommunicado?) brings his solo work to the Fleece

■ Canadian Heidi’s Jackathon tour arrives in Bristol at Motion, and it’s the perfect example of the international nature of today’s house and techno scene

65 I F Y O U ’ R E S T A Y I N G I N

EMBRACE

IF YOU LOVE THEATRE MAYFEST

■ Bristol’s epic celebration of contemporary theatre returns to take over performance spaces and streets across the city

IF YOU SEE ONE GIG FISH

IF YOU LOVE COMEDY RICH HALL

■ The bone-dry comic, who was the inspiration for The Simpsons’ grumpy bartender Moe, heads to the Tobacco Factory Theatres

IF YOU GO CLUBBING HEIDI

WATCH EUROVISION

■ Graham Norton takes to the commentary box for this fabulously camp (and unintentionally hysterical) Euro-pop extravaganza

from Friday, March 7, 2014

●●●●● INDEX 3

1. Victoria Beckham Seven Bag £1,195 2. Vivienne Westwood Shaman Dress £455 3. Vivienne Westwood MAN Bombay Madras Suit £1,195 4. Versus Versace Belt Print T-Shirt £130 5. Vivienne Westwood Anglomania x Melissa Lady Dragon shoes £150

Beckham bags space in Bristol boutique From Vivienne to Victoria, Garment Quarter stocks some of the biggest names in fashion, writes Natalie Banyard

sanctuary for fashionistas who love their labels, innovative Bristol fashion boutique Garment Quarter brings together luxury designers and one-off pieces from the catwalk. The Penn Street store is the “go to” destination in the South West for Vivienne Westwood, Alexander McQueen, Victoria Beckham, Comme des Garcons, Versace and more. Garment Quarter is the brainchild of a group of young businessmen, with strong backgrounds in high-end fashion. With the inspiration for its name stemming from New York’s Garment District and the co-founders’ roots in Manchester’s Northern Quarter, Garment Quarter was born. Garment Quarter manger John Reid, 30, explains: “I worked in a Vivienne Westwood franchise in Manchester and myself and a group of friends who all worked in high-end fashion decided to set up a shop for ourselves. “We drew up a shortlist of cities and chose Bristol because Cabot Circus was becoming a popular shopping destination, there weren’t many independent clothes shops at the premium end, and we just thought it was a beautiful city. “We opened in 2010 and the reaction has been great. Of course it takes time for a new, unestablished brand to make it in a new city, but we’re making a name for ourselves now. “We’re very proud of the names we stock and we are one of only a handful of stores in the world that sells the Victoria Beckham brand and she still signs off every stockist herself.” The chic and contemporary boutique is teeming with rails for each of the designer names, featuring some fabulous pieces for both men and women. There’s everything

4 BUY IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 9, 2014

from everyday casual wear to red carpet dresses. Among the most eye-catching pieces are the statement Versace Versus Belt Print Dress; the playful Vivienne Westwood Tiger Tunic and the fun Comme Des Garcons Mens Eyes Heart T-shirt. There’s a vibrant display of men’s shoes and a gorgeous selection of handbags, including the stunning pink Victoria Beckham Seven Bag. The jewellery is also to die for, from classic Vivienne Westwood orb design rings and cufflinks to more unusual snail broaches and skeleton necklaces. Believing fashion is for all, Garment Quarter stocks sizes from a UK six to 18 for women and from XS to XXL for men, also introducing a size VII in Vivienne Westwood men’s shirting. The boutique also strives to appeal to all tastes by constantly evaluating the brand mix each season. “We have quite an eclectic clientele,” John tells me. “There’s a lot of old money in the South West and we get a lot of older customers in who bought Vivienne Westwood on the King’s Road in the Seventies. “We also have the more demure lady, who likes to buy the Victoria Beckham pieces, and the younger market, who buy Versace, which has made a massive comeback recently.” If shoppers need some expert advice, the in-store personal shopping team is available to help you find the perfect outfit for any event. Whether on your own or with friends and family, you can relax in a no-pressure environment, with refreshments included. “I think this is going to be a breakthrough year for us,” John concludes. “2014 is looking good already and Bristol shoppers are clearly embracing high-end fashion.” ■ Garment Quarter, 25 Penn St, Bristol, BS1 3AU. Tel 0117 329 4405.

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from Friday, May 9, 2014

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Designer labels on your doorstep

You don’t have to go to London’s swanky stores to nab designer labels. If you love your fashion, head to the high street...

1 A flash of neon will lift spring outfits. Jimmy Choo embraces the hue with these fabulous orange “Agnes” pumps. Jimmy Choo Neon Pumps, Harvey Nichols, £395 2 Stockholm-based brand Acne Studios mixes cool urban staples with directional runway collections. Acne Studios Jacket, House of Fraser, £1,115 3 If you love your labels, Mary Katrantzou is the brand to bag. This classy yet comfortable stretch dress can be teamed with flats for day, or stilettos for night. Mary Katrantzou, Harvey Nichols, £810 4 A gorgeous watch for women featuring the iconic GG logo imprints could make stunning gift for a loved one. Gucci Leather Bangle Cuff Watch, John Lewis, £695 5 A cute designer satchel handbag with a striking Michael Kors MK print running throughout is completed with golden hardware and a hanging medallion. MICHAEL Michael Kors bag, John Lewis, £240 6 This classic Vivienne Westwood fragrance has top notes of viburnum, bergamot and mandarin and features the Vivienne Westwood logo for a top. Vivienne Westwood Boudoir Eau de Parfum, 50ml, John Lewis, £53.50

6 BUY IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 9, 2014

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from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 7

Dig deep for stylish gardening

In recent years, growing your own has soared in popularity. A trend that shows no sign of abating, it has lead to Fern Briton donning her wellies for BBC2’s Big Allotment Challenge

1 Who says gardening can’t be glamorous? These pretty floral wellies beg to differ! Floral Print Wellies, F&F, £13 2 An attractive garden “tidy” with eight internal compartments, perfect for holding the necessary tools and string for tidying and planting the allotment. Green Wooden Garden Tidy, dotcomgiftshop, £24.95 3 Whether you’re heading to the shops or loading it with goodies from the allotment, this cheerful canvas bag is a great buy. Canvas Bag, Joules, £7.95 4 Scattered with images of birds and flowers, against a collage of newspaper, these gloves are the perfect companions for digging up the vegetables. Thoughtful Gardener Gloves, John Lewis, £12 5 A hardwearing apron that’s full of pockets and pouches for carrying all that garden paraphernalia Garden Apron, John Lewis, £15 6 Sit back and take a break from working the land! This lazy chair is also ideal for camping trips, festivals, or even at the beach. Lazy Chair, Joules, £34.95

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from Friday, May 9, 2014

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WEEKEND 9

Bums, tums, buggies and babies Losing weight and gaining fitness after having a baby is every new mum’s aim, but how to go about it safely and what about childcare? Kate Edser discovers a convenient solution

S BUGGYFIT ■ A former teacher and corporate fundraiser for the children’s cancer charity Clic Sargent, Vicki has always loved sports, particularly rowing and running, and always cycles to her classes, while holidays are usually spent skiing or surfing. “I can sit still,” she insists, “but I prefer to be active.” Mums must be at least six weeks post natal before joining Vicki’s Buggyfit classes, which rises to 10 weeks for those who’ve had a C-section. Vicki runs morning Buggyfit classes (£5 each) in St Andrew’s Park, just off Gloucester Road (Friday), at Horfield Common (Wednesday) and on The Downs (Tuesdays), plus “mums, bums and tums” classes (Monday) in the BS7 Gym at Gloucester County Cricket Ground. On June 8, Buggyfit supporters and their families are taking part in Tommy’s Baby Race on The Downs, which raises money for the Tommy’s charity, funding research into miscarriage, premature birth and stillbirth.

o, you’ve had a baby and now you want to get your body back. Diet alone won’t get good results, but new mums know it’s difficult to commit to an exercise class with a demanding little person to consider, even if childcare isn’t a hurdle. In any case, there’s quite a bit to bone up on in terms of what sort of exercise is safe to do in the weeks after giving birth. Buggyfit solves all these problem neatly. In Bristol, the franchise is run by experienced personal trainer Vicki Hill, whose knowledge of abdominal muscles and the pelvic floor is quite astounding. With specific training in ante- and post-natal exercise, Vicki has been running specialist classes here for nine years. As the name suggests, mums bring their babies to class in a buggy, but Vicki will have first made an assessment so she knows the physical capabilities of each woman – and her pelvic floor. “It’s all about the diaphragmatic breathing and the association between the diaphragm and the pelvic floor,” says Vicki. “It’s so important, but people just don’t know. “I talk about the pelvic floor all the time when I’m teaching. Not everyone has problems, but even if you’ve had a C-section you’ve had a lot of weight on the pelvic floor muscle for nine months. It can be a big issue for some. “The other issue is split abdominal muscles. For this, women want to do crunches, but that’s actually the worse thing to do. The more breathing and pelvic tilt work they do and the more they focus on that and trying to draw the tummy into the spine, the better – it’s all about

the deep abdominals. “I focus very much on trying to get women back in touch with their bodies. I just want people exercising in the right way. They need to also think about posture; the more upright they are, the slimmer they’ll feel. Pull up and engage the core rather than slouching with the tummy sticking out.” With her confident and upbeat manner, Vicki is keen to inspire mums to get fit and to make time for themselves. She says: “Women often forget about themselves. They’ve had nine months of hardship and suddenly they’ve got a baby. Mums often neglect themselves, so what’s also good about the Buggyfit class is that it’s entirely about them. “I don’t know the babies’ names, I only know the women, whereas at a lot of other baby classes they might be just so and so’s mum. This way they get back something for themselves.” During Buggyfit, Vicky teaches “a lot of leg and bum work, because women are squatting a lot in everyday life while lifting up their babies”. It’s important that women know how to lift properly, she adds, with bent knees in a squat position, and to engage the core and to exhale when straightening up. And there’s also a correct way to push a buggy, particularly when travelling uphill, which the women practise during the sessions. Typically, women will attend Buggyfit for a year or 18 months – at a point when the babies tend to get a bit fed up with sitting in their buggy for an hour! ■ Visit vickihill.co.uk, call 07747 614 836, or email pt@vickihill.co.uk

I don’t know the babies’ names, I only know the women, whereas at a lot of ❝ other baby classes they might be just so and so’s mum. “

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from Friday, May 9, 2014

●●●●● TRY IT 10

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from Friday, May 9, 2014

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Nail your beauty regime and step into summer

Jackie Harris, complementary therapy and nail services tutor at City of Bristol College, has this advice for pristine hands and feet

n the course of a day, hands and feet are put through a lot. If it’s not exposure to dirt, sunlight and frequent washing, they’re locked away in gloves, socks and shoes all through the long winter months. Now the warmer weather is here and our hands and feet will be more on show, it’s time to give them a makeover.

HANDS

■ We wash our hands several times each day, which depletes essential moisture in the skin. Ideally, a moisturiser or hand cream should be used after washing and drying to replace this moisture loss and help prevent skin conditions. Leave hand cream on while you sleep and you’ll see a big difference. ■ File nails regularly to help prevent splitting. It’s good practice to carry a nail file in your handbag so any nicks can be quickly smoothed away. ■ Massage special cuticle or almond oil into the cuticles, this will nourish both the surrounding skin and the nail, and is especially good for those who bite their nails! ■ Always use a base coat when applying varnish to help protect the nail from discolouration. This will also help colour “stick”. Finish with a top coat to give a lovely shine, ensure the longevity of the colour and prevent chipping.

FEET

■ After a day on your feet, it’s bliss to soak them in a bowl of warm water. Add peppermint (cooling and soothing) and tea tree (antiseptic). Alternatively, a few drops of your favourite bubble bath will work well, too. ■ Use a pumice stone or a foot rasp regularly on the soles of the feet to help prevent a build-up of dry skin. More serious problems should be referred to a chiropodist. ■ Toe nails should always be cut straight across and not too short, otherwise you risk ingrown toenails, which can lead to infections and are very painful. ■ Feet are often missed during a body moisturising regime, but they need attention! If they are feeling particularly dry, cream could be applied before bed and cotton socks worn to help maximise the moisturising effects. ■ As with the finger nails, always apply a base and top coat to the toe nails to get the best look. The two most important things we can do to maintain healthy skin and nails is to eat a healthy balanced diet and drink plenty of water.

BOOK IN Manicures and pedicures are also offered at a discounted price at the college. To make an appointment, call 0117 312 5544.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

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It’s a jungle out there but this kit can help

If your garden gadgets aren’t up to the task, these are six will be more than able to step up and take their place. 1 Set this mean machine to task and enjoy a more reclined gardening affair. Able to tackle all manner of garden gradients, this robotic machine mulches the clippings to lay down an almost undetectable trail and will rerun to base when it needs a recharge. Husqvarna Automower from £1,450, husqvarna.com/uk 2 If you’re into your topiary – or simply like your hedges to look nice and neat – then look no further than this hedge trimmer. Way superior to those that simply chop and drop leftovers behind, this one will gather your waste as you go. Garden Groom Pro hedgetrimmer – £99.99, notcutts.co.uk 3 That perennial “garden hose being in a state of unwrap and tangle” problem may well have been solved by the experts at Hozelock. This lightweight and compact number has a 10-metre reel, and it also comes complete with all the fittings plus a multi-spray gun. Hozelock Pico Reel – £23.99, homebase.com 4 What a very clever piece of kit; just stick it in your outdoor plant pot, select which flora is yours (from the database of about 7,000 within the app) and your smartphone will tell you all manner of info (sometimes almost too much) about your plant’s needs via Bluetooth. Your plants will return the favour by growing very nicely indeed. Parrot Flower Power – £49.95, store.apple.com/uk 5 Anyone who has ever tried to split up logs will know the associated perils. This gadget is one of a kind, making light work of this tricky and laborious chore, allowing you to just throw on a checked shirt and worry about looking the part. Roughneck Wood Grenade Log Splitter – £22.99, diy.com 6 The trouble with most garden trimmers is they have a cable attached that constantly gets under your feet. This award-winning machine is entirely cordless, and a total pleasure to trim with. GTech ST05 trimmer – £69.95, gtechonline.co.uk

from Friday, May 9, 2014

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16 DO IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 9, 2014

Take your loved ones on a nice day out and then shoot them castle towers, turrets and mazes, and fills with fog and pumping music once the game starts, can choose to play an all-against-all format, or a team version. And at the end, all scores are recorded so you can see who you shot and, for the purposes of holding grudges, who shot you. The high-tech gear will even tell you where you’ve been shot. It’s the kind of mass game that appeals to all ages, and people of all natures. Deputy manager Charlotte Bridge said: “We get students, adults, kids – all kinds of people. All of us who work here are big kids, too, and we like to play ourselves. “We offer one-hour and two-hour exclusives for groups, where you get the run of the whole place. Prices vary depending on what day of the week it is, and obviously weekends are peak times.” ■ Bristol Laser Fusion is open from 10am to 10pm seven days a week. The maximum number of people who can be in the arena at any one time is 30, so bear that in mind when making group bookings. Every Sunday, between 10am and noon, a special kids club is held. You have to be six years or above to take part in any session. For full details of ticket prices and group deals, see www.laserfusion.info, or call 0117 929 3699.

Cha crew rlotte mem mem Bridge ber ber/ (Ker . Pic che m ture f and it) de p s: B arba Steve F uty ma ra E alkn nage vrip er ( r, C idou Two hris flow Yui er) le (F crew at B oy)

hey say we’re a warlike, violent nation, the British. Which seems a bit unfair given that, unlike some of our cousins across the Atlantic, we don’t settle work disputes, or family rows with automatic weapons. And luckily, while we don’t have mass gun ownership or bullets for sale in supermarkets, there are safe pursuits for those who like to exercise their trigger fingers now and then. Tucked away on Silver Street in Bristol city centre is Bristol Laser Fusion, a place where you can go with family, friends, or work colleagues and shoot at each other to your heart’s content without anyone getting hurt – although pride might take a battering. Places like Bristol Laser Fusion cater for the competitive spirit in all of us, and be it a stag do, hen party, birthday celebration or family gettogether, it’s a great way to expend some energy and get one over on your nearest and dearest. It’s essentially a combination of hide and seek and any shoot-em-up computer game you’ve ever played. Participants are given a pack that’s strapped to you and a gun. From then on, the game is very simple. You get points for shooting other people, and points deducted when they shoot you. Groups entering the arena, which features

OPEN GARDENS HIDDEN TREASURES ■ There are several gardens open to the public under the National Gardens Scheme over the next week or so. Strawberry Gardens (Wells, BA5, 3LD) is part of the grounds of Stoberry Park, overlooking the historic city of Wells. The gardens here are open on Sunday, May 11, from 2-5.30pm. Adult admission £5, children free. No dogs. Somerfoss, on Bath Road in Oakhill (BA3 5AG), is open to the public on Sunday, May 18, from 2-6pm. There’s a cafe on site and local deer can occasionally be spotted. Admission is £4 for adults, and children go free. Again, no dogs. And finally, Ston Easton Park (BA3 4DF) is open on Thursday, May 15, from 10.30am to 4pm. This hidden treasure in the heart of the Mendips sits alongside the River Norr. Dogs on short leads are welcome, and admission is £4 for adults and children get in for free.

WALKING FESTIVAL BRUNEL GROUP ■ The Bristol Walking Festival, promoting all types of two-footed routes in and around the city, takes place between now and May 26. One group that is active all year round is the Brunel Walking Group, set up to provide an alternative for people who can’t stand going to a gym and would rather enjoy fresh air and countryside views while they get their exercise. Members of the group take it in turns to organise walks on Saturdays and Sundays, and venture as far afield as South Wales. See the group’s website www.brunelwalking.org.uk for more information.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

●●●●● DO IT 17

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18 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 9, 2014

Lunch on a budget Cool café keeps it local

eorge Plum would probably be very proud of the fact that his splendid bone-handled cutlery is still being used by diners only a short walk from where he made it. Plum was a cutler and surgical instrument maker in pre-war Bristol, honing his skills in a workshop in Dolphin Street – a street that was demolished during the Blitz and now lies somewhere beneath Castle Park. A century after he made them, some of his knives and forks are now slicing through portions of eggs Benedict and plates of roast mackerel on rye at The Runcible Spoon, which recently reopened under new management after a period of closure. This small café/restaurant just off Stokes Croft was previously run by an entirely different team of passionate foodies and it gained a large and loyal following over the past two years, although it must have been tough to run it as a co-operative and still make enough money to carve out a reasonable living. The new owners are sisters Jessica and Katie Brokenshire, who also run the popular Sourdough Café in St Nicholas Market, and chef Greg McHugh, who previously cooked at The Rummer. Following on from the previous team, the new custodians of The Runcible Spoon are sticking to the local and seasonal ethos, but clearly trying to make it a more sustainable

business, with regular opening hours (it’s open every day apart from Monday). In the evening, the dinner menu (£25 for three courses or you can order individually priced dishes) includes such temptations as crab dumplings with crab and mushroom consommé, or duck with beetroot and celeriac purée. During the day, things are a touch simpler, with a menu that might include an £8 cooked breakfast; wilted greens, poached egg and hollandaise for £5.50, or corned beef, shallot and lovage dressing with rye toast for £5.95. The higgledy-piggledy two-floor restaurant has had a gentle makeover, including the addition of a new bar upstairs, where you can enjoy a number of bottled beers and ciders from South West producers such as Wiper & True and Burrow Hill. Downstairs is pretty much the same as before, although the cast iron range in the brick fireplace has been gussied up with a few well-chosen cookbooks and a vase of wild flowers. I ordered the smoked ling on sourdough toast with poached eggs (£5.50), which was a robust brunch dish, the firm flakes of smoked fish working perfectly with the runny egg yolks and buttery toast. I followed it with a small but perfectly formed Portuguese custard tart (£2) and a glass of delicious Stream Farm organic apple juice (£2.50).

THE RUNCIBLE SPOON 3 Nine Tree Hill, Stokes Croft, Bristol, BS1 3SB. Tel: 0117 329 7645.

VERDICT: Seasonally focused local food served in a cool, casual setting perfectly tailored to its Stokes Croft location, the new owners have breathed new life into The Runcible Spoon and it deserves to do well.

Food ★★★✩✩ Service ★★★★✩ Ambience ★★★✩✩

from Friday, May 9, 2014

●●●●● EAT IT 19

Lunch on a budget Pop-up deserves to be permanent

ntil last week, I hadn’t set foot in Room 8 for 20 years. Now a friendly pop-up café, this used to be the front desk of the old Bridewell Police Station and my only previous visit was to report a mugging and then attend an identity parade in the yard outside. It used to be a grey, austere place, somewhere between the sets of Life on Mars and The Sweeney, but these days, it’s home to local artists and creatives, the cells now cosy studios under the umbrella of The Island. The bullet-proof glass window of the old reception desk has gone, replaced by colourful bunting and a counter stacked high with artisan loaves, cakes and jars of granola. A room that has also been used as a gallery, it’s a modest space, with black and white tiles, wooden parquet flooring, mismatched furniture and crockery and an old Singer sewing machine. Run by artist Ursula Hutchinson and Johanna Boshier, who used to run the Cotham Sandwich Shop, Yum! Café is a temporary affair, running until May 21, although it is now hoped that this will be extended. Although a large part of its customer base has been resident artists, Yum! Café has also picked up trade from local office workers, who would normally pass the door on their way to getting their usual lunchtime sandwich.

20 EAT IT ● ● ● ● ●

With such low prices, Yum! Café is certainly giving Broadmead corporates a run for their money. The blackboard menus are concise and change daily. When I walked in, Jo was chalking up organic potato, leek and coconut milk soup of the day – a bargain at £2.20. There was also a cheese ploughman’s sandwich (local cheese, pickles, chutney and leaves on East Bristol Bakery sourdough) for £3.75, a seasonal salad of the day with bread for £5 and a mezze platter (hummus, dips, olives, bread and two salads) for the same price. Jo and Ursula certainly like to make work for themselves: they offer made-to-order “posh pot noodles” (£3.75 for a pot of Asian broth with crunchy veg, rice and noodles) and even make their own homemade version of Nutella to spread on toast – just one of the breakfast options available alongside homemade granola, juices and smoothies. I ordered a slice of homemade frittata (£2) – a deep wedge of spinach, sweet potato, red pepper and mozzarella with a noticeable thwack of chilli. This was followed by a peerless vegan Bakewell tart (£2.50) that was moist, not overly sweet and with crisp pastry boasting an impressive snap considering it didn’t contain butter or lard (the trick is to use oil, apparently).

from Friday, May 9, 2014

YUM! CAFÉ Room 8, The Island, Nelson Street, Bristol, BS1 2LE. Tel 07984 150774

THE VERDICT A friendly, unpretentious café run by lovely people in a unique venue, this is one pop-up that deserves a more permanent home.

Food: ★★★✩✩ Service: ★★★★✩ Ambience: ★★★★✩

Coach Holidays 4 £180

3 £160

days from

per person

Monet’s Garden and Paris

per person

Paris & the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe

Departing 13 June, 1 August, 5 September & 10 October 2014

Departing 4 October 2014

Visits to Impressionist painter Claude Monet’s beautiful house and gardens in the Normandy village of Giverny, and to incomparable Paris, are amongst the wonderful highlights of this hugely popular escorted tour, which also offers the opportunity to discover exquisite artists’ village Barbizon.

Experience Europe’s richest horse race this Autumn – the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe at Longchamps in the Bois de Boulogne, Paris. A spectacle that simply has to be seen and experienced!

Our price includes:

• Return coach travel from the local • Coach transfers to and from Longchamps racecourse area • Admission to Longchamps • Return Channel crossings racecourse • Two nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast accommodation at a three-star hotel in the Greater Paris area

admission to Monet’s House and • Return coach travel from the local Gardens area and Channel crossings • Three nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast at the Best Western St Quentin, Maurepas (or similar) • Visit to Giverny including

Our price includes:

days from

£195 per person

Summertime in Bruges

£150 per person

Brussels’ Flower Carpet

Departing 15 August 2014

Discover four of Belgium’s most fascinating cities on this fantastic value summertime break! Famous for its quaint cobbled streets, picturesque canals and fine medieval architecture, we include a full-day to explore the exquisite ‘Chocolate and Lace’ city of Bruges. You’ll also enjoy a visit to stylish Brussels, historic Antwerp and medieval Ghent.

If you’ve never seen the Brussels’ Flower Carpet, you’re in for a treat! Once every two years 800,000 fresh flowers are transformed into a magical tapestry in Brussels Grand Place. A unique and truly amazing sight, which can only be seen for three days!

Our price includes:

viewing area in Brussels’ Grand • Return coach travel from the local Place area • A visit to Bruges • Return Channel crossings • The services of a tour manager • Two nights’ bed and continental breakfast at a Brussels area hotel • Access to the Town Hall’s balcony

comfortable hotel in the Brussels • Return coach travel from the local area area • Visits to Antwerp, Ghent, Brussels • Return Channel crossings and Bruges • Three nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast accommodation in a

Our price includes:

0843 487 5833 Quote BEP www.newmarket.travel/bep Calls cost 5ppm from a BT landline. You may also be charged a connection fee. Mobile and other providers’ charges may vary. Operated by Newmarket Promotions Ltd. ABTA V787X. Prices are per person, based on two sharing. Subject to availability. Single supplements apply. Terms and conditions apply. These suppliers are independent of Local World. When you respond, the holiday supplier and Local World may contact you with offers/services that may be of interest. Please give your mobile or email details if you wish to receive such offers by SMS or email. We will not give your details to other companies without your permission.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 21

New opening Dude food served al fresco

fter 12 years, it’s all change at Spyglass, which has reopened for the summer season with a brand new name and identity. Still located half on the quayside and half on a boat moored at Welsh Back, just along from its sibling floating restaurant Glassboat, Three Brothers is a very different concept from Spyglass, which was more of an Antipodean BBQ affair. Three Brothers is essentially an alfresco burger restaurant that tips its trucker cap at the ‘dude food’ style of dirty American dining that was trendy a couple of years ago but is now starting to lose its novelty value. Personally, I’m a bit tired of seeing ramped up fast food served in blue-rimmed white enamel trays and I’ve had more pulled pork in the past year than you can shake a barbecued chicken drumstick at. Thankfully, pulled pork doesn’t make an appearance on the menu at Three Brothers, although chicken wings do – either hot and Asian-style or American buffalo wings with blue cheese dip. The menu is concise and clearly geared towards a kitchen where short-order cooks are required to bang out hundreds of meals on a busy day. That said, head chef Joey MacGibbon is clearly several notches above the usual burger-flipper, as his impressive CV includes time spent working in fashionable London res-

22 EAT IT ● ● ● ● ●

taurants Moro and Trullo – both places where you need to know your banana shallots more than your onion rings. The main section of the menu is devoted to burgers, from a basic meat patty at £6 to the signature Three Brothers Burger – a colon-busting combo of double patty, double bacon and double cheese for £9.50. It’s not all meat. There’s an Elvis Presley-style buttermilk burger (£8) and a well-priced (£6.75) vegetarian burger generously filled with fleshy marinated field mushrooms, melting mozzarella and crunchy pickled cucumber. My daughter gave the veggie burger a thumbs-up, although she clearly enjoyed the shared Smoked Dog (£5.75) more, and with good reason. Served in a soft white roll and topped with squiggles of American mustard and finely chopped white onion, the beefy hot dog (apparently made by an experienced German butcher who smokes the meat over beech wood) was plump, firm and juicy. We also shared the entry-level burger (£6) and it was hard to fault – coarse texture, precisely seasoned, cooked perfectly and nestling within a glazed bun as soft and fluffy as cotton wool. The accompanying fries (£2.50) were crisp, greaseless and generously salted. We washed it all down with Coke floats and half-pints of Wiper and True Red Orange ale – one of several well-chosen craft ales and artisan ciders on offer.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

THREE BROTHERS Welsh Back, Bristol, BS1 4SB. Tel 0117 927 7050

THE VERDICT: With no children’s menu and a limited choice for veggies and piscivores, it may not have the wide appeal of Spyglass, but if it’s messy, meaty dude food and cold beers you’re after, you’ll love the Three Brothers.

Food ★★★✩✩ Service ★★★★✩ Ambience ★★★✩✩

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PUB OF THE WEEK THE BOOTLEGGER

or years the nocturnal Hush Hush bar, 233 Cheltenham Road reopened last month under new management as The Bootlegger, an all-day café and bar with much broader appeal than its predecessor. There is an emphasis on live music, with a small stage at the back of the deep, narrow room, next to an upright piano for relaxed Sunday afternoon sessions. There is free live jazz, blues and swing most nights. Open from 9am, The Bootlegger is somewhere you can pop in during the day for a decent coffee and, at weekends, order from the extensive brunch menu. With its reclaimed wood panelling, shiny

copper-top bar, filament bulbs and low leather sofas, The Bootlegger has the on-trend look of most new American-styled bars. There is an overwhelming range of cocktails, from classics through to New York cocktails such as an NYC-style French Martini and Manhattan. This is a bar that also takes its beers and premium lagers seriously, with Miller Genuine and Cornish Korev lager on tap alongside draught Bristol Beer Factory Southville Hop, the own-label Bootlegger Pale Ale and rotating guest ales. ■ 233 Cheltenham Road, Bristol, BS6 5QP. Tel 0117 942 2700.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

●●●●● EAT IT 23

Full of Persian flavour and Eastern promise

ranian cook Sabrina Ghayour first made a name for herself when she hosted supper clubs in London, cooking the Persian and Middle Eastern food she learnt from her mother and grandmother. Her debut cookbook distills all these recipes into a collection of fragrant dishes that can be easily recreated from ingredients found in most supermarkets. Ghayour’s food comes to life on the page with the vibrant photography from Liz and Max Haarala Hamilton, each dish captured in a riot of colours thanks to an abundant use of pomegranate seeds, spices and herbs. Lamb and pistachio patties; chicken, preserved lemon and olive tagine; and spiced carrot, pistachio and almond cake with rosewater cream are just three delicious recipes in a book crammed with Persian delights. “Middle Eastern cookery is often shrouded in mystery,” says Ghayour. “It’s the stuff of Arabian nights and full of Eastern promise, perceived as exotic and unknown. “But this is not a true reflection of the simple and honest cuisine that it is. I can understand that the way we eat in the Middle East can be overwhelming for some cultures. We do like to fill the table with a myriad of dishes, both hot and cold, with an abundance of colour, variety and both meat and vegetables. “Growing up in an Iranian family, Persian food will always be my first love, but I was raised in England and, having lived here for over 30 years, I consider myself to be British. “My style of cooking is very much based on ingredients that can easily be found in supermarkets, along with a few ingredients that may require a bit more of a search (unless you have a Middle Eastern grocer nearby) or easily ordered online.”

Persiana by Sabrina Ghayour is published by Mitchell Beazley, £25

24 EAT IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 9, 2014

SPICED LAMB AND APRICOT STEW SERVES 6 ■ Vegetable oil ■ 2 large onions, roughly diced ■ 600-800g (1lb 5oz–1lb 12oz) lamb neck fillets (or use diced, boneless leg or 6 lamb shanks), cut into 2.5cm (1in) thick chunks ■ 2 heaped tsp ground cumin ■ 1 heaped tsp ground cinnamon ■ 1 heaped tsp turmeric ■ Sea salt ■ 2 generous tbsp clear honey ■ 250g (9oz) dried apricots

■ Preheat a large saucepan over a medium heat if using gas, or a medium-high heat if cooking on electric. Drizzle in enough oil to cover the base of the pan, then add the onions and sauté them until they begin to brown slightly around the edges. Add the lamb to the pan and stir the meat into the onions, ensuring you keep the meat moving, so that it becomes nicely browned but does not stew. Add the spices to the pan, season with sea salt and stir to coat the meat well, then add the honey and stir again. Pour in just enough boiling water to cover the ingredients, reduce the temperature to low and simmer for one and a quarter hours, stirring every so often to prevent sticking. After the cooking time has elapsed, add the apricots, stir well and cook for at least a further 45 minutes. Serve with either basmati rice or Persian flatbread.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 25

Perfect retreat with panoramic views Tim Davey heads to the glorious St Just in Roseland peninsula in Cornwall for a holiday on a grand scale – in a glamorous home kitted out for 12, including a chef

26 DO EAT IT IT ● ●● ●● ●● ●● ●

from from Friday, Friday, May May 9, 9, 2014 2014

FACTFILE ■ St Mawes Retreats has four properties in the resort – Moonrakers, Stargazers, Dreamcatchers and Shellseekers, all with coastal views, and another, Sunseekers, in Fowey. ■ They can accommodate from two to 12 guests and offer short three- or four-night breaks as well as full weeks. Check out the website www.stmawes retreats.co.uk for details or call 08000 88 66 22. ■ For every booking in May and June, the person who books will receive an In-house spa treatment 60-minute complimentary massage by St Mawes Retreats’ qualified beauty therapist.

aturday night and my wife and myself are in deepest Cornwall on a weekend break. Ninety-nine times out of 100 we’d be heading for the nearest highly recommended pub or restaurant for our evening meal. Then the doorbell of Moonrakers, our holiday home away from home, rings and there on the doorstep was Anne carrying a large wicker basket full to bursting with foodstuffs. No need for us to go out to eat, you see. Anne Emmett was coming to do the cooking for us. So, while we idled away the early evening watching the telly with a glass of vino, Anne was busy in the kitchen. Before too long the first course was brought to the dining table, all neatly prepared by Anne, right down to proper

napkins and silver napkin rings. Soon, we were tucking into a dill and smoked salmon terrine. It was delicious. But there was more. Porcini stuffed chicken breast wrapped in bacon (sourced from Anne’s family farm) followed. While the third course was a delicious lemony apple Canterbury tart. And the icing on the cake for this exceptional evening was the fact that we had no clearing up, or washing-up to do. Anne and her culinary expertise is one of the many delightful holiday flourishes which St Mawes Retreats, owners of Moonrakers, can offer those who stay at their properties. St Mawes is one of those perfectly proportioned Cornish coastal gems. There’s a beach, a working harbour, coastal paths, plenty of places to eat and drink, bags of character and even a fortress, the latter courtesy of Henry VIII and still in rather good nick. Moonrakers, meanwhile, was everything a grand holiday house should be. It sleeps 12, and light floods in thanks to magnificent panoramic views to the coast. There’s a games den with pool table, a Wii, flat-screen TV and so forth, while in the garden there’s a large trampoline, goal posts for footie and full-size table tennis. St Mawes is about a five-minute stroll down the hill to the harbour. Though if you headed left instead of right out of the property you would come first to the highly rated Lamorran Gardens in Upper Castle Road. Heading further afield, aside from our visit to Falmouth, we took a tour around the fortress. It’s maintained by English Heritage and offers some spectacular vistas from its fortified ground and battlements. There are a number of ferry services, some quite novel ones, plying their trade in these waters, too, so it’s worth checking them, especially those which head up-river for specialist cruises to places such as Trelissick Gardens, a National Trust property. This is the charming Roseland Peninsula, and St Mawes falls within the parish of St Just in Roseland. The weather obliged with some spring sunshine so we picked up the coastal path not far from Moonrakers. The route was a delight, offering the chance to stop every so often at some “secret” sandy coves. But the best but was yet to come. As we headed into St Just, our walk out of the village took us past the parish church there. I doubt there is another place of worship in the country which can match the glorious location of this one, sitting, as it does, at the head of a tranquil picturesque creek. Now, after chef Anne’s Saturday night culinary treat, the Sunday of our stay brought with it the usual dilemma about where to go for a traditional Sunday lunch. Ingrid, who helps look after the St Mawes Retreats properties, suggested our nearest “local”, The Victory Inn. It was a very good call. And at £6.96 was also ludicrously good value. All too soon Monday morning rolled around and our short break drew to a close. It was hard to tear ourselves away because we’d both become deeply smitten with Moonrakers… and then there was also the not insubstantial matter of deciding what we were going to buy and cook for dinner back home that night.

from fromFriday, Friday,May May9,9,2014 2014

●●●●●●●●●●EDAO T IT 27

Band embrace their darker side GIG OF THE WEEK: Embrace 02 Academy, May 13. See listings for details.

ith three number one albums, six top ten singles, sold-out arena shows and over 2.5 million UK album sales alone, Yorkshire five-piece Embrace were on the crest of a wave when they suddenly vanished without a trace. But now they are back with a new tour – their first in seven years – and a fantastic new album, Embrace, that conveys a darker sound while still keeping their signature anthems and huge choruses. Embrace are brothers singer Danny Mc-

28 HEAR IT ● ● ● ● ●

Namara and guitarist Richard McNamara, bassist Steve Firth, keyboardist Mickey Dale and drummer Mike Heaton and the band recorded the new record in their own studio in Halifax over the last three years. At the end of last year, Embrace performed two secret shows for fans in their home towns of Bradford and Halifax. The shows were a showcase for various off-the-wall shock art tactics, with one gig in darkness and the other in a boxing ring, the audience dressed in white boiler suits and covered in neon paint.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

Though the shows were strictly secret, fan forums went into meltdown with both shows selling out in minutes. “They were fantastic,” says frontman Danny McNamara. “The secret gigs are always a joy – you are playing to your most loyal fans, and Embrace fans tend to be lovely people. “We had fans fly in from Australia, Japan, USA and Germany to see us on a cold rainy December night in Halifax – that’s what I call commitment!” Embrace emerged from the post-Britpop

COMPETITION BRISTOL SUMMER SERIES TICKET GIVEAWAY WITH THE POGUES W:39.13mm H:43.409mm

scene in the mid-1990s and went on to enjoy a decade of success with top ten singles such as All You Good Good People, Come Back to What You Know, My Weakness is None of Your Business and Nature’s Law. In 2006, the band’s fifth album, This New Day, went straight to number one and featured the song World At Your Feet, which became the official song of the England World Cup squad in that year’s campaign and went to number three in the charts. Although it was the band’s most successful period, it started to take its toll, according to McNamara. “We had just completed our biggest ever tour, playing arenas for the first time, touring the USA, promoting This New Day and doing the official England World Cup song. “We got back from tour tired and decided to take six months off to recover and get ready for the next album. However, after six months everyone was involved in other projects and it took two years to get us all together in the same room with free time ahead. “Everyone went off and did different things but we had a band meeting and decided that if we were going to make another album, it had to be our best. Unfortunately, it took us a long

time before we were happy we had done that.” The new album took three years to record and, although the songs have Embrace’s trademark big anthems and sweeping choruses, it’s rawer and darker than previously. So, how does McNamara think the band’s sound has changed since their early releases? “I think we reconnected with our early influences – Ride, PJ Harvey, Cure, Joy Division – and have made an album for ourselves without record companies or producers pushing us to compromise and be more commercial. “We never set out to write big ballads, it’s something that happened that was slightly out of our control. “The band became very successful very quickly and when that happens you are suddenly dealing with so many opinions it becomes difficult to be true to what your original vision for the band was. “In hindsight, we weren’t prepared for our initial success at all, but we enjoyed the ride. If you read the press you’ve got to have really thick skin, or one bad review will override ten good ones in your mind. The banter in the band is what keeps us sane and together.”

from Friday, May 9, 2014

ristol Summer Series comes to Bristol’s Amphitheatre this summer and Weekend is teaming up with organisers for an exclusive giveaway for the only South West performance from Celtic punk and Irish band, The Pogues, on June 26. One lucky reader will win a pair of tickets to be dancing the night away with the backdrop of Bristol’s Harbourside. A night sure to be a fairytale in Bristol! For more information, visit www.Bristolsummerseries. co.uk/@BSummerSeries To enter, simply email your name, address, postcode and contact details to promotionsep @bepp.co.uk Please mark the subject of your email as The Pogues. All entries must be received by noon on Friday, May 16. ■ Terms and conditions: The winner will be selected at random from all eligible entries. The winner and one guest will join the Bristol Summer Series on Thursday, June 26. Standard Local World rules apply. For a full list, visit www.bristolpost.co.uk/ houserules

●●●●● HEAR IT 29

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Music Don’t miss

THE AMAZING SNAKEHEADS START THE BUS

D asters that climate change is already bringing to the world. The single is from Fish’s new album, A Feast of Consequences, which is being hailed as one of the best in a career spanning four decades. The album was produced by Calum Malcolm, who previously worked with The Blue Nile and Prefab Sprout. More used to performing larger concert halls, this appearance at the Fleece is a rare chance to catch this towering figure (he’s 6ft 5in) at close quarters.

escribed by NME as “one of the most untethered, aggressive and downright exciting new live bands in the country”, incendiary Glasgow trio The Amazing Snakeheads make their Bristol debut at Start the Bus. The show, which is free, comes hot on the heels of a number of high-profile gigs around the UK, many of which have sold out. Last month, The Amazing Snakeheads released their new single, Here It Comes Again, which is taken from their eagerly awaited debut album, Amphetamine Ballads. With the energy of early Arctic Monkeys and the dirty blues-punk sound of Gallon Drunk and the Gun Club, The Amazing Snakeheads are full of rage, romance and dark humour, all topped with frontman Dale Barclay’s howls and songs sung in a thick Glaswegian accent. It’s an arresting and unique sound that had one music critic claiming he was so excited after seeing the band that he couldn’t sleep. Unmissable.

■ Thurs, May 15. See listings for details.

■ Tues, May 13. See listings for details.

FISH FLEECE

etrol pump attendant, forestry worker, unemployment benefit office counter clerk and water sprinklers quality inspector – Edinburgh-born Derek Dick has had a varied career, but he will always be best known as Fish, the frontman of Eighties prog rockers Marillion and hit singles like Kayleigh, Lavender and Incommunicado. Solo since 1988, Fish has just released his new single, Blind to the Beautiful, which is accompanied by a striking video featuring breathtaking imagery from Greenpeace that shines a light upon the huge ecological dis-

EWAN MCLENNAN FOLK AROUND FISHPONDS AT THE CROSS HANDS

wan McLennan appeared on the UK folk scene with the release of his debut album, Rags & Robes, which gained much critical praise and featured in MOJO’s top ten folk albums of 2010. After an appearance on BBC Radio 2’s Folk Show, his debut was capped by winning the BBC Folk Award’s Horizon Award in 2011. McLennan’s music was immediately noted for its depth of feeling and sincerity, something that comes from his respect and passion for the music he plays. Whether singing haunting traditional Scottish ballads, or weaving the power-

ful stories that make up his own songs, his unique and earthy voice is always compelling. Having performed with, and been taught by, a number of world-renowned guitarists, from Martin Simpson to Robin Hill and Gerry Douglas, his own guitar playing is outstanding and forms an essential part of his music. The much-awaited second album, The Last Bird to Sing, has received glowing reviews and confirmed his prominence among the new generation of folk musicians. ■ Tues, May 13. See listings for details.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

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Music Listings

COMING SOON EELS

o the wider world, it might seem that Californian band Eels rose to the surface with their debut album Beautiful Freak (Novocaine for the Soul, Susan’s House and Your Lucky Day in Hell) in 1996 and then sank again. The truth is they’ve produced 11 albums, and it’s been a whirlwind of musical styles from this eccentric, but talented bunch. Expect dark, personal lyrics against a background of a live orchestra. ■ Friday, July 25, Colston Hall

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TUMBLING BONES THE OLD DUKE

ou might not believe that four men and a double bass will fit into a two-door Fiat hatchback. Pack in an additional banjo, fiddle, and two guitars, and you have an accurate vision of a slightly cramped Tumbling Bones, fresh from the US, hightailing it from gig to gig. Hailing from Portland, Maine, these boys are travelling around on their debut UK tour with only the necessities – instruments, tap shoes, a change of clothes, and a crate filled with copies of their debut album, Loving a Fool.

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This indie Americana record spans rockabilly to gospel and reflects the Tumbling Bones’ performance – a roots-tinged spectacular that includes a cappella three-part harmony, Appalachian clog dancing and fiddle wizardry. Drawing on bluegrass and pre-WWII folk, Tumbling Bones play a mix of original compositions and traditional material infused with the infectious energy of the rock’n’roll they were reared on. ■ Thurs, May 15. See listings for details.

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Escorted Holidays 8 £749

6 £399

days from

per person

The Beautiful Amalfi Coast

Carcassonne, Avignon & Provence

Join us for a sun-kissed Italian holiday based in an excellent four-star hotel overlooking the Bay of Salerno, close to the famous Amalfi Drive. Rest and relax, and join some wonderful included and optional excursions.

A guided tour of walled Carcassonne - one of France’s greatest medieval glories - as well as visits to historic Avignon, with its Palais and fabled bridge, and the spectacular Pont du Gard, are amongst highlights of this escorted holiday that also offers a choice of hotels and some exciting optional excursions.

Departing July to October 2014

Departing June to October 2014

Our price includes: • Return flights to Italy from Bristol • Seven nights’ half-board accommodation at the four-star Hotel San Pietro in Maiori • Full day visit to Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast • Full day visit to Paestum and

• • • •

Salerno Airport to hotel transfers Drinks with dinner & free tea and biscuits each day Free use of tennis courts & sunbeds The services of a tour manager

Our price includes: • Return flights to Toulouse or Barcelona direct from Bristol • Five nights’ bed and breakfast at the Ibis Carcassonne Est (a choice of upgrade accommodation is available for a supplement)

• Return airport to hotel transfers • Guided walking tour of Carcassonne • A full day visit to Avignon and the Pont du Gard • The services of a tour manager

4 5

or days from

days from

£529 per person

Iceland – Reykjavik & the Northern Lights

£1,049 per person

Washington, New York & Niagara Falls

Departing November, December 2014 and January to March 2015

Departing September and October 2014

Join us in the ‘Land of Fire and Ice’ to discover one of Europe’s most surprising cities, to discover volcanoes, waterfalls, thermal pools, geysers and glaciers, and go in search of the fabled Aurora Borealis!

The plunging Falls at Niagara, the heart of historic America and all the breathtaking mesmerising magic of New York - ‘the City that Never Sleeps’ – combined in one unforgettable holiday!

Our price includes:

• Return Economy Class flights to Reykjavik from Bristol • Airport-hotel transfers • Three or four nights’ bed & breakfast accommodation in the Guesthouse Borgartún (other hotels available at a supplement)

• Guided tour of Reykjavik • Search for the Northern Lights escorted tour • One suitcase allowance per person • The services of a tour manager

• Return flights from Birmingham • Six nights’ hotel accommodation • Fly to Toronto and travel south to historic Harrisburg • Explore all-powerful Washington, DC, Philadelphia and glittering New York

• Journey through beautiful up-state New York • Gaze in awe at mighty Niagara • Comfortable coach travel • The services of a tour manager

0843 487 5833 Quote BEP www.newmarket.travel/bep Calls cost 5ppm from a BT landline. You may also be charged a connection fee. Mobile and other providers’ charges may vary. Operated by Newmarket Air Holidays Ltd. ABTA V7812, ATOL protected 2325. Prices are per person, based on 2 sharing. Subject to availability. Single supplements apply. Terms and conditions apply. These suppliers are independent of Local World. When you respond, the holiday supplier and Local World may contact you with offers/services that may be of interest. Please give your mobile or email details if you wish to receive such offers by SMS or email. We will not give your details to other companies without your permission.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 35

Elegant looks to enhance your home Sash windows with all the low-maintence, high security benefits of PVC-U Whether you want to capture the classic, stylish looks of vertical sliding windows, or keep the character of your existing style of windows without the associated risks of draughts and poor security, PVC-u vertical sliding windows are the perfect solution. This advanced, precision engineered window system enables you to enjoy the sophisticated style of the Georgian era, with all of the performance benefits of PVC-u materials from the modern age. Whether you want simple understated windows or a natural wooden look, we offer the colour options and finishes to suit your preferences.

OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm. Sat 9am - 1pm

VISIT US ONLINE

www.crwindows.co.uk

SHOWROOM Unit 6, Bridge Rd Ind Est, Bridge Rd, Kingswood, BS15 4TA | TEL 0117 9061180 / 01225 738606 FREEPHONE 0800 0133122

By Adam Burrows

Clubbing HEIDI PRESENTS THE JACKATHON MOTION , AVON STREET

eidi, whose Jackathon tour arrives in Bristol tonight, is a perfect example of the international nature of today’s house and techno scene. Like techno hero Richie Hawtin, she grew up in the city of Windsor, on the Canadian side of the Detroit River. By 2005, after moving to London, Heidi had hooked up with Berlin duo M.A.N.D.Y and was playing clubs all over Europe. Soon she was making regular appearances on BBC Radio 1 and heading up her own parties.

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Heidi’s DJ style is rooted in the early days of house, with smoother, deeper cuts sitting naturally alongside minimal funk and occasional outbreaks of acid. Jackathon nights are all about the unity of house and techno, and the line-up tonight bears that out. The special guest is Jackmaster, co-owner of Glasgow’s Numbers, and one of the most gloriously unpredictable DJs on the circuit. ■ Friday, May 9, 10pm-late. www.motionbristol. com

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By Paul Riley

Classical BSO/KARABITS: BRAHMS SYMPHONY CYCLE COLSTON HALL

s the Colston Hall’s season-long Symphony Project draws to a close there’s a must-hear interloper hovering that crowns the series in all but name. Yet since the Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra doesn’t hail from Austria (or Germany, if you want to be inclusively pedantic!), Kirill Karabits’ concentrated journey through the complete symphonies of Brahms doesn’t quite fit the Project’s criteria for matching symphonies with an orchestra from their country of origin. No problem there for the last concert, which

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points the Moscow Philharmonic at Shostakovich’s 9th Symphony and the mighty No. 10 on Wednesday, May 14. But, stand-alone or not, the Brahms looks set to be a real season highlight. From the C minor Symphony to the deep yearning of the 4th, with its awesome goal-driven finale, Karabits has the perspective and commitment to be an ear-opening guide. Unmissable! ■ Colston Hall, Colston St, Bristol, Sat May 10, 7.30pm, £15-£31/students £8/under-18s £1 (plus booking fee). 0844 887 1500/www.colstonhall.org.

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Too much lunacy in a crazed circus

n the mid-1980s, musician Chris Sievey gave birth to Frank Sidebottom, a sharp-suited comic persona with a large papier-mache head, who was forever 35 years old and carried a hand-puppet sidekick named Little Frank. This cartoonish alter-ego became ensconced in the Madchester music scene, made regular appearances on television and famously gave birth to Caroline Aherne’s mock talk show host Mrs Merton on one of his radio shows. Having faded into relative obscurity in the 1990s, Sidebottom made a series of comebacks and remained a cult favourite on the music and comedy scenes until Sievey’s death in June 2010. Journalist Jon Ronson’s script, inspired by his memories of Frank/Sievey and co-written by Peter Straughan, taps into the appeal of other outsider musicians like Daniel Johnston and Captain Beefheart as it dramatises the efforts of a group of misfits to record an album. Oscar nominee Michael Fassbender, who was terrifying in 12 Years A Slave, spends almost the entire film encased within a giant fibreglass noggin, concealing his emotions from us as well as the other cast. The unlikely narrator though is Jon (Domhnall Gleeson), a musically challenged, socially awkward young man, who composes lyrics in his bedroom. During a walk along the beachfront, he

encounters a band called the Soronprfbs, whose keyboardist has just suffered a mental breakdown. “Can you play, C, F and G?” asks the band’s manager Don (Scoot McNairy) and Jon is hastily enlisted to play a gig that night, where he must gel seamlessly with theremin player Clara (Maggie Gyllenhaal), French bassist Baraque (Francois Civil), percussionist Nana (Carla Azar) and quixotic lead singer Frank (Fassbender). The concert is a disaster, but Jon keeps his place and joins the band on a rural Irish retreat to record an LP. In this idyll, Jon discovers that Frank plays with madness every day and demands unachievable perfection from the band. There are undeniable moments of fiery brilliance in Lenny Abrahamson’s film, including a sexually charged encounter between Jon and Clara in a hot tub. But these cannot compensate for the lunacy that Frank wears like a badge of honour. Every member of the band is dysfunctional to the point that we struggle to relate to them. “I used to have sex with mannequins, it’s a condition,” casually confesses Don, one of the more down-to-earth members of the crazed circus. Gyllenhaal sinks her pearly whites into her role with gusto, but Gleeson’s delusions of musical grandeur wear thin well before the Soronprfbs embark on an ill-fated trip to Texas to perform at the South by Southwest music festival.

FRANK (15, 95 mins) Starring Domhnall Gleeson, Michael Fassbender and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

VERDICT: Jon Ronson’s memories of the man and the myth provide an unlikely spark of inspiration for Frank, a musical comedy that is, to be frank, too self-consciously bonkers for its own good.

Score ★★★✩✩

from Friday, May 9, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 41

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from Friday, May 9, 2014

TARZAN 3D (PG) The Greystoke family search for an ancient meteorite in the jungle – which causes their helicopter to crash – and sole survivor Tarzan is raised by apes. Conflict arrives with the Machiavellian new CEO of Greystoke Energies, who returns to find the elusive meteorite and its limitless power. ★★★✩✩

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LIVE FROM THE MET: LA CENERENTOLA VARIOUS CINEMAS

BAD NEIGHBOURS (15) A young couple struggling with new parenthood find themselves in a war of attrition with the fraternity boys who move in next door. The couple had promised not to call the cops at the first sign of trouble but during a party dial 911, sparking a tit for tat revenge battle. ★★★✩✩

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■ New York’s Metropolitan Opera blazed a trail when it first started beaming its productions live into cinemas back in 2006. Many thought it’d prove a short-lived flash in the pan. How wrong could they be? Now everyone from the Royal Shakespeare Company to Glyndebourne is at it – and the Met is smiling all the way to the bank! Rossini’s sparkling take on Cinderella is next up, but don’t expect pumpkins, glass coaches or slippers. There’s a happy ending, though. And it couldn’t be happier given that Cesare Lievi’s production boasts the incomparable Joyce DiDonato singing her first Met title role opposite consummate maestro of the high Cs, Juan Diego Florez, as the prince charming himself, Prince Ramiro. Conducted by Fabio Luisi, Cenerentolas don’t get much starrier. ■ Sat, May 10, Vue Bristol, Longwell Green (and other cinemas), 5.55pm, £12/50-£16.70. 0871 224 0240 / www.myvue.com

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Arnie’s back but we wish he wasn’t

C SABOTAGE (15, 109 mins) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington and Olivia Williams.

VERDICT: Like the muscle-bound characters, Ayer’s picture foregoes subtlety and diplomacy, preferring a full-on assault of wanton violence.

Score ★★★✩✩ 44 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

orrupt police officers learn they are not above the law in the latest action thriller from David Ayer, who has walked the beat before in Training Day and End Of Watch. In Sabotage, the Illinois-born writer-director melds the testosterone-fuelled camaraderie and grittiness of his earlier films, cutting between explosive gun fights and unsettling scenes of videotaped torture. When a member of internal affairs warns one dirty cop, “If that cartel finds out you stole 10 million dollars, they’re gonna slit your throat from ear to ear,” he isn’t joking. Dismemberment, disembowelment and evisceration abound and Ayer delights in the aftermath of ritualistic slaughter. Implausibilities stack up faster than expletives in a script co-written by Skip Woods, including a hilarious moment of forced sexual tension between Arnold Schwarzenegger and a female co-star. “Credibility is like virginity. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever,” a senior police officer philosophises later in the picture. Sabotage loses its credibility in the opening 10 minutes. Schwarzenegger plays John Breacher, the cigar-chewing ringleader of a team of undercover DEA agents, who infiltrate criminal organisations and destroy them from the inside. Their latest target is a drug cartel safe house, where team member Lizzy (Mireille Enos) has gathered vital intelligence about a stockpile of cash.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

Breacher and his bad lads – Monster (Sam Worthington), Sugar (Terrence Howard), Neck (Josh Holloway), Pyro (Max Martini), Tripod (Kevin Vance), Grinder (Joe Manganiello) and Smoke (Mark Schlegel) – use the raid as a smokescreen to steal 10 million dollars from the cartel. Unfortunately, the stolen loot vanishes, leaving the DEA agents out of pocket and facing tough questions from department chief Floyd Morgan (Martin Donovan) and internal affairs. In the absence of physical proof, the team returns to active duty. One by one, an unseen adversary picks off the DEA agents and Breacher reluctantly accepts help from ballsy detective Caroline Brentwood (Olivia Williams) to identify the culprit. Sabotage portrays Breacher and his buddies as loud-mouthed, obnoxious hooligans, who can ignore their moral compasses so long as they get results. Schwarzenegger looks his age in close-up but still takes the lead in big set pieces while Williams struggles to impose herself in a woefully underwritten role. Action sequences that bookend the film are polar opposites in terms of plausibility. While the nervy DEA assault on the safe house sets pulses racing, the climactic showdown is a preposterous game of automotive duel on the streets of Atlanta that wouldn’t look out of place in the forthcoming Terminator reboot. All that’s missing is a knowing smirk to camera from Schwarzenegger. In this instance, we hope Breacher won’t be back.

Festival is a feast of the best live theatre The thrilling and inventive festival of theatre that is Mayfest is back to take the city by storm with 11 days of cabaret, dance, circus, music and, as always, more than a few surprises

The Future Show

Magnetic Ballerina

rom intimate encounters in front rooms to epic adventures in public places, Mayfest 2014 offers a broad range of unusual, playful and ambitious work from leading theatre makers from Bristol and beyond. For 11 days from May 15, this unique festival of contemporary theatre will take the city by storm with a vibrant concoction of cabaret, live art, dance, circus, music, installation and all manner of other delights. Mayfest kicks off with the best party in town at Bristol Old Vic. There will be music, drinking, dancing and plenty of camp capers from award-winning performance artists and sequin wearer Scottee. Headlining this year’s programme is the much-anticipated UK premiere of The Roof from the creators of 2010’s impressive sell-out

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hit Electric Hotel. A high-octane mix of freerunning and contemporary dance, this is a 360-degree performance that will capture imaginations under the night sky in Millennium Square. Mayfest creator and co-artistic director Matthew Austin told Weekend: “We’re very excited about The Roof, which premieres at Mayfest before a three-week run at the National Theatre as part of LIFT (London International Festival of Theatre). “We’re building an urban landscape right in the middle of Bristol on Millennium Square. The audience, wearing headphones, will be in the centre of a huge pop-up arena where the drama will unfold around them. “It’s a big coup for Bristol, one of the biggest outdoor theatre shows to ever happen in the city, and we’re getting it first.”

from Friday, May 9, 2014

More unmissable shows are Dance of The Magnetic Ballerina, a striking and beautiful dance solo from Czech artist Andrea Miltnerova, and Smashed, which invites audiences to a tea part with nine jugglers, 80 apples and four crockery sets! Other highlights are an all-male version of Wuthering Heights, Opera North and The Tiger Lillies presenting the sublime cabaret Lulu, and #TORYCORE, a punk gig where all the lyrics are taken from chancellor George Osborne’s Budget speech! The performances will take place at various Bristol arts venues as well as some more unusual ones, including the autobiographical performance Mental in a member of the public’s sitting room and Nightwalk, which invites audiences to walk through Leigh Woods in the dark. This year’s festival also boasts a unique strand

Lulu: A Murder Ballad

Constellations La Merda

Slap Talk

Rising

of family shows for the first time in Mayfest’s history. Kicking off the May half term is multi-award winning international company Aracaladanza with Constellations, a magical dance-theatre piece that uses puppetry and digital visuals to enchant children at Bristol Old Vic. Young Mayfesters can also enjoy a disco at Bristol Museum and experience a children’s version of the festival’s late night cabaret bar, The Blind Tiger. Matthew says: “If you’ve never experienced Mayfest before, you can try us out for as little as a fiver. It’s a great way to try something that’s a little out of the ordinary, and we’re promise to show you a good time.” ■ Mayfest, Thursday, May 15 to Sunday, May 25, various venues. See www.mayfestbristol.co.uk for details.

The Roof

Freeze

from Friday, May 9, 2014

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Theatre Don’t Miss

DANCE FOR DEMENTIA THE REDGRAVE THEATRE 20TH CENTURY BOY THE BRISTOL HIPPODROME

E.ARE.YOUNG is a fast-paced multi-media comedy depicting the lives of three young girls struggling in a world where jobs are scarce, everyone has a degree and Facebook determines your happiness. The high-energy show is written and performed by DollyPop, a local, all-female company that strives to present modern problems from a feminine perspective. DollyPop co-founder and recent Bath Spa graduate Jade Berks explains: “We wanted to almost take the pressure off our generation. “A lot of this pressure we found is generated by social media; Facebook seems to be a selfindulgent competitive platform to boast about your life, and this isn’t helpful to anyone.”

ore than 100 dancers from across Bristol will join together to create a fantastic fusion of different dance styles for a worthy cause. From African to Irish and ballet to Bollywood, Dance for Dementia will be an entertaining night of dance, raising much-needed funds for Alzheimer’s Society. The showcase, which takes place at The Redgrave Theatre on Sunday, has been organised by Katie Smith from Downend. A keen dancer herself, Katie was inspired to raise money for Alzheimer’s Society after her grandmother passed away from the disease. Katie says: “My grandma loved to dance, and after organising Dance for Dementia 2013 which raised £1,950 for Alzheimer’s Society, I am excited to bring these talented Bristol dancers together again to support a great cause.” The event will include dancing from some of Bristol’s finest acrogymnastic, African, ballet, belly, Bollywood, cheer, contemporary, Irish, Latin, modern, Scottish, street and tap dancers in a unique and exciting show. The Lord Mayor of Bristol will be attending the evening performance. Rachael Sweet, from Alzheimer’s Society, says: “Dementia is caused by diseases of the brain and affects over 4,400 people in Bristol alone. Events like this help us to support people to live well today and fight for a world without dementia tomorrow.”

■ Thursday, May 15 to Saturday, May 17. See listings for details.

■ Sunday, May 11. See listings for details.

ig out the platform shoes, fling on the feather boa and apply the glitter – a smash hit new musical inspired by the life of rock legend Marc Bolan is set to explode on to the stage nearly four decades after the iconic star’s tragic death. West End and musical theatre star Warren Sollars and well-known TV faces Sue Jenkins (Brookside/Coronation Street) and Luke Bailey (Waterloo Road) will lead the cast of 20th Century Boy at The Bristol Hippodrome next week. Featuring some of the greatest pop songs ever written, 20th Century Boy tells the story of Marc Bolan and his band T Rex, exposing some of the myths and taking the audience on a tearful, yet

joyful journey through Marc’s fascinating life. Rocker, poet, electric warrior, king of glam and godfather of punk, Bolan was arguably the biggest rock star the UK had ever seen. Before his tragic death in 1977, just days short of his 30th birthday, Bolan lived life at breakneck speed, creating a series of iconic images, a string of number one hits and an army of obsessive fans. Featuring the smash hits Get It On, Ride A White Swan, Metal Guru, I Love To Boogie, Hot Love and many more, 20th Century Boy is a glorious story and celebration of glam rock at its colourful best. ■ Monday, May 12 to Saturday, May 17. See listings for details.

WE.ARE.YOUNG THE ALMA TAVERN

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A window into unique and vibrant world PICK OF THE WEEK The Boy Behind the Counter at the Rearview of Gloucester, at The Gallimaufry café/bar

erspective is key in art – something of which Bristol photographer James Koch is only too aware. In the exhibition of his photographs now showing at The Gallimaufry café-bar on Gloucester Road (where James also works), you’ll find a “back-to-front ode” to this most unique and vibrant of shopping streets. Gloucester Road’s vigorous street life, its unique character and strong independent ethos has been much documented. James’ celebration of the street where he passes his days, though, has a very distinctive perspective. All of the photographs have been taken, over six years, in the reflections of shops along the street, mostly at dawn or dusk – creating a warm, colourful and distinctly surreal portrait of this streetscape, with its scenes, colours, characters, shops and inimitable personality. In these unusual and arresting images, two worlds collide – the interior of the shop and, reflected in the window, the life of the street outside. Or, as James puts it, the images depict “a regular selection of familiar Bristol people and places. Just not quite as you’ve seen them before.” James, who arrived in Bristol for his studies “some time in the Noughties”, has spent many mornings over the past few years walking around his adopted hometown with a Sony Cybershot camera. “These walks have introduced me to a new way of seeing and thinking,” he reflects now. Local shopping streets quickly became a focal point for his photographic projects. “Picton Street, St Mark’s Road, Cotham Hill, Gloucester Road… these streets just seem to attract more interesting folk.” So how did his unusual choice of viewpoint come into being? “I’m not really sure where my liking for shop-window reflections originated. But the challenge of effectively combining these two images, the street scene and the interior of the shop, is definitely something I enjoy. Maybe it’s just cowardice that keeps me on the outside looking in, actively avoiding confrontation. Having said that, after one shoot in St George I was visited by two anti-terror squad officers who wanted to know why I was photographing a personal mobility centre. To which, to be fair, I had no answer…” Whatever his original motivation, James has stuck with his unique technique. “I’ve come to realise that this way of seeing is more true to life anyway. When we look at the world around us, it’s never really a clear picture that we get. Emotions, desires and memories combine to alter what we see, muddying the view.” For example, see his Blue Monday, pictured.

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James explains the picture’s genesis. “Katze, a shop opposite The Gallimaufry, often hangs a T-shirt with an animal print in its window. At sunset the light was hitting the wolf and catching the whites, while the black material disappeared from view. I played around with different compositions, but instinct told me that this was the frame and that it would come in time. I like the final image and what it suggests. We’re all animals, after all!” And is Gloucester Road just another example of the characterful high streets that flourish across Bristol – or does it enjoy an atmosphere all of its own? “On one level, the

from Friday, May 9, 2014 Friday, May 9, 2014

street’s sheer length makes it into a gigantic playground for me. The sun follows me up one side and down the other. But, yes, I think there’s also something unique about it – the sheer breadth of function, from florists to fish shops and from record stores to restaurants of every conceivable nationality, makes it interesting. And all of this thriving commerce is run by, and supported by, the residents of Redland, Bishopston and Horfield. “There’s a unique energy to this street, which I try to capture in these images.” ■ To Friday, May 30. See listings for details.

OBSESSIONS THE ISLAND

SALLY STAFFORD INNOCENT FINE ART ■ Clifton Village’s Innocent Fine Art welcomes more elegant, delicate landscape paintings by this muchrespected West Country artist. Inspired both by a year of intense travelling and by her Gloucestershire home, the show includes images of the golden grasses of central Portugal, almond blossom in southern Spain (Mirage, pictured), the meadows of Skye, the Forest of Dean and, especially, the River Severn which passes in front of Sally’s home. The textures and luminous colours in Sally’s work

are created by fast, intense layering of paint, ink, wax, pigment and metal leaf. In contrast, the finished paintings have a contemplative stillness and peace. In Sally’s words: “Connecting with the natural world through quiet observation and reflection, then recreating that moment on canvas is a challenge that engages me emotionally and physically.” ■ To Saturday, May 31, Innocent Fine Art, Bristol. See listings for details.

■ This photography exhibition by 15 second-year students at the University of the West of England explores the theme of human obsessions in all their infinite variety. Particular obsessions explored include the personal connection between gamer and game in Grand TheftAuto(inphotographsbyGeorge Bale); escapism as portrayed through landscapes (Laura Williams); and how childhood memories warp over time (Chloe Upton). Elsewhere, Amy Rance’s portraits and still lifes document our emotional relationships with colour, and how these are represented in our clothing choices; Rhiannon Buckle’s portraits (pictured) trace our obsessionwithskinandbeauty;andJade Spurling’s zine is inspired by friendship and a fear of loss. “If you want to learn what someone fears losing, just watch what they photograph,” Jade explains. “The zine focuses on photographing the thing that scares me most: losing my friends.” ■ To Monday, May 12, The Island, Bridewell St, Bristol. See listings for details.

GROUNDED GRANT BRADLEY GALLERY ■ Bristol artist and poet David Johnson exhibits this series of colourful oil and acrylic paintings, documenting his travels around England’s landscapes and seascapes. David, who made the radical transition from businessman to artist and writer, paints from his studio on Stokes Croft. He has previously exhibited at the Royal West of England Academy, as well as a number of smaller galleries around the South West. David's intimate, elegant etchings showcase a range of techniques including drypoint, aquatint, sugar-lift and photo-polymer. “With this selection of images, David has produced art on a human scale that will live happily in the home and provide constant pleasure to the eye,” enthuses Marten Rostel at Grant Bradley Gallery. “His aim is to share the excitement and buzz of artistic creation with viewers and lovers of visual art.” ■ Saturday, May 10 to Saturday, May 31, Grant Bradley Gallery, Bristol. See listings for details.

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WEEKEND 55

The bone-dry comedy of a world-weary cult hero

PICK OF THE WEEK: Rich Hall’s Hoedown Tuesday, May 13 to Saturday, May 17, Tobacco Factory Theatres, Raleigh Rd, Bristol, 8pm, £16. 0117 902 0344/tobaccofactorytheatres.com.

his bone-dry comic from North Carolina has won a devoted following around the world thanks to his waspish observations and world-weary persona. Hall has also revealed himself as a brilliant documentary-maker, too, as the likes of How the West Was Lost and The Dirty South – informative, entertaining enquiries into the myths and realities of his native Deep South – have proved. He’s also, famously, the inspiration for The Simpsons’ grumpy bartender Moe. His stage shows, though, are what Hall’s cult-hero status rests upon – with audiences lured to his expertly crafted tirades, quick-fire banter and wonderfully surreal and off-kilter musical sequences. This evening mash-up of music and comedy will feature Hall’s own band of “talented and chronically unemployable urchins”. “The floor will reek of liquor and spent dreams,” we’re promised. Don’t miss.

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f you like your comics charming, self-deprecating and on the young and dashing side, 20-something comic Jimmy McGhie should be on your radar. Nominated for the Best Compere award back in 2011 by reviews site chortle.co.uk, Jimmy is now a regular at many of the country’s top comedy clubs. His good looks and easy charm have made him a TV hit, too: he’s appeared on Russell Howard’s Good News, as well as co-presenting the Dave Gorman radio show on Absolute Radio. Visitors to the Comedy Box this weekend are in

for some splendidly off-centre observations about modern life and love. Support this weekend comes from Celia Pacquola, a UK-based Australian who’s proudly adopted most of our national traits – from sensible footwear to laughing at other people’s misfortunes. ■ Stand Up for the Weekend with Jimmy McGhie and Co. Friday, May 9 & Saturday, May 10, Comedy Box at the Hen & Chicken, North St, Bristol. 8.45pm/doors 7.45pm, £10. 0117 902 0344/ www.thecomedybox.co.uk.

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ur favourite comic to grace Jongleurs this weekend is Erich McElroy, a supremely amiable US expat who’s a big fan of British life – which he dissects in great and joyous detail, from pub etiquette to sexual mores. McElroy’s slightly earnest, American take on English machismo, is very endearing. He’s joined this weekend by laddish Home Counties comic Bryan Lacey, who’s a dab hand at improvisation and audience interaction, and

musical/variety double act The Raymond and Mr Timpkins Revue (pictured). Plus Paul Pirie, an uncompromisingly blunt Scottish comic who spices his anecdotes with some very witty physical comedy and facial expressions. ■ Jongleurs Comedy Club Friday, May 9 & Saturday, May 10, The Cuban, Unit 2, Building 11, Canons Way, Harbourside, Bristol, 9pm/doors 7pm/last entry 8pm, £15/£22.50 with main meal/£25 main meal & dessert. 08700 111 960/www.jongleurs.com.

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cwjďŹ&#x201A;oorings.co.uk CW JONES CARPET AND BED CENTRE 10 Vale Lane (off Hartcliffe Way) Bedminster Bristol BS3 5RU

0117 9661454

from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 59

Property of the week

Your own slice of mansion living

his distinctive and imposing period house, the wing of a much larger mansion, occupies a prominent and elevated setting on The Hill, a landmark to the east of the A38, with far-reaching views across the Severn Vale. It sits in extensive, beautifully kept and secluded gardens, with sweeping lawns and magnificent trees, a terrace, block-paved parking and a three-car garage for which permission exists for conversion to a residential annexe. The Arts & Crafts mansion was built in 1901, then subdivided in the 1920s, with The Red House now the largest part. It is a grand house in its own right, with a wood-panelled hallway and galleried landing above opening to the balcony; a triple-aspect drawing room, formal dining room, study, kitchen/breakfast room, pantry, wine cellar and a further substantial living room overlooking the garden.

60 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

The master bedroom with en suite plus two further bedrooms and period-style bathroom are on the first floor, while at the top of the house are three further double bedrooms, one of which is also en suite. Almondsbury is the first village to the north of the M4/M5 interchange, so is ideal for commuters looking for a country lifestyle while remaining within easy reach of the city of Bristol. A primary school and community shop are at the heart of the village and Marlwood Secondary School is just four miles to the north. There’s also a church, The Bowl pub, a GP surgery and dental practice, while The Mall at Cribbs Causeway is just one junction further down the M5 and Parkway station is approximately 3.7 miles to the south. A little further out, the market town of Thornbury offers a variety of shops, restaurants and a leisure centre.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

THE RED HOUSE The Hill, Almondsbury, South Gloucestershire

Six-bedroom period houses £849,950 Milbury’s, 01454 417336

Garden to reflect seasons of life Gardening When children have flown the nest, their parents often take the opportunity to change the once family-orientated garden into more of a grown-up affair. Bristol garden designer Tom Phillips explains how it may be done

s garden designers, we often get calls from existing customers asking for alterations, or additions to their gardens. As yet, we haven’t had a call from a new owner, asking us to rip out one of our designs but it is inevitable that it will happen one day! Garden styles evolve and customers have widely varied needs. We get plenty of calls from people with young families, where a garden is full of steep steps and hard edges which need softening. However, there are plenty of customers who play out the whole family cycle from fledgling chicks to empty nest, without moving house. During this time the garden evolves to the rapidly changing needs of a growing family. Out go the sand pit and plastic toys; in come the climbing frame and trampoline, until suddenly, one day, a calm descends on the garden and the kids have started to move out. At this point, the garden takes on a different prospect. Of course, children will always be back for extended visits, but at this stage in life, with extra time available, the outdoor space presents a new challenge. Maybe that challenge is to finally get that veg bed sorted out, or indulge in a new pond, and get the garden just the way you want it. Many people want a space that they can enjoy with minimal extra maintenance. In this garden, pictured, we approached the design to include repositioning an existing pond, which had seen better days. Our clients wanted plenty of space for planting, but to include a small lawn. One side of the garden had been slightly raised and, because the garden was walled, we were able to create a decent raised bed using reclaimed Victorian bricks. At the point where this wall approaches the house, we built a semi-circular brick seat surrounding a small

circular patio. The seat is just big enough to seat the family of four people snugly. It is next to the rear patio doors, so works well for the occasional quick morning coffee, or an evening sundowner. Adjacent to this paving we fitted a deck which runs up to the back doors. The whole garden was raised 150mm during the construction and the deck now slopes gently down from the house. We also refurbished the existing rear patio, changing the shape from square to quarter circle using matching bricks to define the shape. Raising the garden helped to reduce the step up to this paved area. There was a collection of grey Victorian stable bricks which we wanted to find a use for. We combined these with tumbled Indian sandstone setts to form the backbone of the snaking path leading across the garden to the rear gate. This leads under a rose arch and past the new raised pond which was constructed using the same bricks capped with sandstone setts. A final plan in the garden is to build a pizza

oven on the main patio, so householders and visitors alike can enjoy the smell of freshly baked, homemade pizzas.

BUSINESS NAME For more information and advice contact Tom Phillips at All Garden Designs, call 0117 951 1923, or 07739456765, or visit www.allgarden designs.co.uk.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 61

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from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 63

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Rising star aims for Eurovision greatness BEN FOGLE’S ANIMAL CLINIC MAY 13, CHANNEL 5, 8PM ■ Adventurer Ben Fogle is temporarily hanging up his walking boots, ice pick, and rowing oars to set up camp at the University of Liverpool’s Leahurst campus, which is home to one of the UK’s top veterinary colleges. He is going behind the scenes at the campus’s state-of-the-art operating theatres to follow the daily dramas that come with treating the 10,000 sick animals brought in every year. In this first episode, staff treat a horse called Polo, who is at serious risk of dying from colic.

EPISODES MAY 14, BBC2, 10PM

EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 2014 MAY 10, BBC1, 8PM

lue, Engelbert Humperdinck, Bonnie Tyler – over the last few years, the UK has sent some pretty big names to Eurovision. And let’s be honest, the results have been underwhelming. So, this year it seems the powers-that-be have taken a different approach, and picked a rising star instead, in the form of Molly and her song Children of the Universe. Not that the singer, whose full name is Molly Smitten-Downes, is a total novice when it comes to performing in musical competitions. In 2012, she picked up the Best Urban/Pop Act prize at Live and Unsigned, and in 2013 won Best Song at the Best of British Unsigned Music Awards. Molly says: “There is a stigma around Eurovision; it would be foolish not to realise that,

but there are great acts that come through the contest... That’s what I’m doing it for – I’d like to have a career as a songwriter and where else am I going to get an opportunity for 180 million people to hear my work? How do you top that?” But as she takes to the stage in Copenhagen, Denmark, the competition is going to be tough, especially when she’s up against the host nation’s Basim, German trio Elaiza, France’s Twin Twin, and Spain’s Ruth Lorenzo, who British viewers may recognise from The X Factor. However, the most eye-catching entrant may be Austria’s bearded drag artist Conchita Wurst, who should definitely give commentator Graham Norton something to talk about.

■ The last time we caught up with the fictionalised version of Matt LeBlanc featured in this sitcom, his affair with TV network boss Merc’s wife had just become public knowledge. When we meet him again in this, the third series, his life is in tatters, and not just because of that indiscretion. But what about Sean and Beverly, the English writers at the centre of the series? Have they managed to patch up their differences and get their marriage back on track? Well, yes – for now.

MASTERCHEF: THE FINALS MAY 16, BBC1, 8.30PM ■ There’s good news for domestic bods – MasterChef is about to launch another eager amateur chef upon us – but we can rest assured that whoever is crowned champion has been brought up to scratch by some of the best in the business. Judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace take no prisoners. After a formidable eight-week competition, the three finalists must push themselves to the limit for one last time.

from Friday, May 9, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 65

AMAZING GREYS 8pm, ITV

TV PICKS

EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 2014 8pm, BBC1

Graham Norton commentates on the musical extravaganza from Copenhagen, Denmark, where Molly is flying for the flag for the UK.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S). 11.30 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.10 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 12.20 Live Formula 1: Spanish Grand Prix Qualifying (S,HD). Coverage from the Circuit de Catalunya in Barcelona (Start-time 1.00pm). 2.30 Bargain Hunt (R,S). From Buith Wells Antiques Fair. 3.30 Monkey Planet (R,S,HD). 4.30 Film: Bolt (S,HD) (2008). Animated adventure, with the voice of John Travolta. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

Adrian Palmer and Matt Holbrook are the young contestants taking on this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s accomplished pensioners â&#x20AC;&#x201C; comprising legendary England striker Geoff Hurst, Mastermind winner Liz Horrocks, former Wimbledon finalist Christine Truman, weightlifting champion Henry Clark and Antiques Roadshow expert John Bly.

BBC2

6.00 Film: The Dark Mirror (S) (1946). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 7.25 Great British Menu (R,S,HD). 9.55 Live Formula 1: Spanish Grand Prix â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Practice Three (S,HD). 11.05 Coast (R,S,HD). 11.30 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (R,S,HD). 1.45 Nigel Slaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Simple Cooking (S,HD). 1.50 Deborah Kerr: Talking Pictures (S). 2.25 Film: From Here to Eternity (S,HD) (1953). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.20 Film: The Prisoner of Zenda (S) (1952). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

GENERATION WAR: OUR MOTHERS, OUR FATHERS 9.30pm, BBC2

Wilhelm is sent to serve in a battalion, Charlotteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hospital is overrun by the Red Army, and Dorn asks Greta to testify that he helped Viktor escape.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 ITV News (S). 8.30 Weekend (S). 9.25 The Hungry Sailors (R,S,HD). 10.20 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 11.20 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). 12.25 Film: Beethovenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2nd (S,HD) (1993). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.05 Peter Andreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 60 Minute Makeover (R,S). 3.05 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S,HD). 4.05 Off Their Rockers (R,S,HD). 4.35 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars (R,S,HD). 5.35 Regional News (S). 5.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

LIVE INTERNATIONAL BOXING 10pm, Channel 5

Kid Galahad v Fred Mundraby. Coverage of the bout for the vacant Commonwealth Super Bantamweight title, which comes from Ponds Forge in Sheffield. Galahad already possesses the British and European titles at this weight, neither of which will be on the line against his Australian opponent.

Channel 4

6.05 The Hoobs (R,S). 6.30 Trans World Sport (S,HD). 7.30 The Grid (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 Weekend Kitchen (S). 10.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.35 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Live coverage from Ascot, Lingfield Park and Haydock Park. 4.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Power Rangers Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 Power Rangers Megaforce (R,S,HD). 11.00 Meerkat Manor (R,S). 11.25 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 11.55 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 12.55 Bloody Tales of the Tower (R,S,HD). 1.55 Film: Submarine X-1 (S) (1967). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.40 Film: Torpedo Run (S) (1958). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.35 5 News Weekend (S). 5.40 Film: Attack on the Iron Coast (S) (1968). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

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The Americans, 10pm

Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD, 12.35pm

Live International Boxing, 10pm

6.00 Natural World: The Pygmy Hippo â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Very Secret Life (R,S,HD). 5/10. An ecologist investigates the life and habits of the endangered species.

6.00 Let Me Entertain You (S,HD). 3/6. Featuring viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; renditions of hits. 6.30 New Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (S). 17/20. Harry Hill puts his own spin on viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; clips. 7.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent (S,HD). 5/13. The auditions continue as more singers, dancers and variety acts attempt to impress the four judges and secure a place in the live semi-finals.

6.15 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). Duncan Powell hosts the final dinner party in Newport, Gwent. 6.40 Channel 4 News (S).

8.00 Eurovision Song Contest 2014 (S,HD). Graham Norton commentates on the 59th musical extravaganza from Copenhagen, Denmark, who won last year with Emmelie de Forestâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Only Teardrops. All eyes will be on Molly, who is aiming to become the first UK winner since 1997 with her self-penned anthem Children of the Universe, and Irelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Can-Linn featuring Kasey Smith â&#x20AC;&#x201C; assuming the latter made it through Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s semi-final. They are likely to face stiff competition from the other 24 countries. See Choices Above.

8.00 Dadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Army (R,S). 8/14. Jonesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reputation is called into question. 8.30 Pop Go the Women: The Other Story of Pop Art â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Culture Show Special (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Amazing Greys (S,HD). 5/6. See Choices Above.

7.25 Battle of Britain (S,HD) (1969). In 1940, the Luftwaffe launches a campaign of aerial attacks against Britain to gain control of the skies ahead of a planned land invasion. Under the leadership of Air Chief Marshal Hugh Dowding, the RAF mounts a determined defence over the summer and autumn, despite being heavily outnumbered and forced to match inexperienced pilots against German veterans. Second World War drama, starring Laurence Olivier, Michael Caine, Robert Shaw, Christopher Plummer, Harry Andrews, Trevor Howard and Curt Jurgens. Edited for violence and language. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.30 Generation War: Our Mothers, Our Fathers (S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Prey (R,S,HD). 2/3. The hunt gains momentum when Reinhardt receives a tip-off about Farrowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s location, while the fugitive suspects someone close to home may have information about Abi and Maxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s deaths.

7.00 Flog It! (S). Will Axon and Michael Baggot are at Coventry Cathedral, where the experts value items brought in by members of the public . Presented by Paul Martin.

10.00 The Americans (S,HD). 9/13. Philip and Elizabeth infiltrate a rebel training base and attend the church to which Paige has donated all her savings, while Stan discovers Sandra is having an affair. 10.50 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather.

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Dadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Army, 8pm

6.00 Regional News (S,HD). 6.20 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD). 9/10. Eurovision edition, featuring Cheryl Baker, Mike Nolan, Johnny Logan, Dana and Sonia. 7.10 The National Lottery: In It to Win It (S,HD). 5/10. Dale Winton presents the quiz show.

7.05 The Day the Earth Stood Still (S,HD) (2008). An alien arrives on Earth, accompanied by an awesomely powerful robot, on a fateful mission â&#x20AC;&#x201C; to decide if the human race deserves to continue â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and if not, to wipe it out. The visitor is imprisoned in a military facility, but a scientist helps him escape, hoping to prove that mankind is worth saving. Sci-fi drama remake, starring Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly. See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.00 Man on a Ledge (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. An escaped convict climbs onto the outside of a skyscraper and threatens to jump. The police psychologist sent to talk him down begins to suspect there is an agenda behind this suspicious-seeming suicide bid, while the prisonerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brother takes advantage of the ensuing chaos to carry out a plan of his own. Thriller, with Sam Worthington, Jamie Bell, Elizabeth Banks and Ed Harris. See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

Pointless Celebrities, 6.20pm

11.25 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). Followed by National Lottery Update. 11.45 Agnetha: Abba & After (R,S,HD). The story of Agnetha Faltskogâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s music career.

11.05 Generation War: Fact and Fiction (S,HD). A discussion of issues raised by the drama. 11.45 Telstar: The Joe Meek Story (S,HD) (2008). Biopic of the record producer, starring Con Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Neill. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.05 The Eiger Sanction (S,HD) (1975). An assassin-turnedacademic is blackmailed into returning to his old career to eliminate a spy. Action adventure, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.00 Beverly Hills Cop (S,HD) (1984). Comedy thriller, starring Eddie Murphy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

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12.45 Film: Once (S) (2006). Romantic musical drama, starring Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.05 Weatherview (S). 2.10 BBC News (S,HD).

1.40 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

1.25 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Dinner Date: Australia (R,S). Career woman Janine looks for a date. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

1.00 The Big Dirty List Show: 50 Years of Sex and Music (R,S). The most seductive songs from the past 50 years. 2.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 4.30 SuperScrimpersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Challenge (R,S,HD). A stylish grandmother is challenged to create a home-made hat and scarf for ÂŁ5. 5.25 The Hoobs (R,S). Iver starts a club. 5.50 The Hoobs (R,S). Tula goes to a party.

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10.00 Live International Boxing (HD). See Choices Above.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

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REVOLUTION 9pm, Sky1

Truman gets permission from the president to launch a mustard gas attack designed to kill Miles and Monroe. It proves a step too far, however, prompting the two of them to team up in a bid to beat the enemy at their own game. while Aaron witnesses the full force of the nanotechâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s power.

Alastair Sooke tracks down women involved in the pop art movement of the 1950s and 60s, including Rosalyn Drexler.

ITV2

6.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 8.35 Coronation Street (S,HD). 11.00 Tom Daley Goes Global (R,S,HD). 12.05 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 1.25 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). 2.35 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 3.40 Totally Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 4.40 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 5.10 Film: Star Wars: Episode II â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Attack of the Clones (S,HD) (2002). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

7.10 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD). 8.00 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 9.00 Charmed (R,S). 10.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 11.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 5.00 Youngers (R,S,HD). 5.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club. 9.00 Game Changers. 10.00 Soccer AM. 12.00 Live Formula One (HD). The Spanish Grand Prix qualifying session (Start-time 1.00pm). 2.35 WWE Superstars (HD). A round-up of all the latest wrestling news. 3.35 Futurama (R,S). Bender is cursed. 4.05 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

POP GO THE WOMEN: THE OTHER STORY OF POP ART â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A CULTURE SHOW SPECIAL 8.30pm, BBC2

MAN ON A LEDGE 9pm, Channel 4

Premiere. An escaped convict threatens to jump from a skyscraper, while his brother carries out his own plans in the ensuing chaos. Thriller, with Sam Worthington.

GOLD

6.10 Sykes. 7.10 Bread (S). 7.45 As Time Goes By (S). First of two specials. Jean looks forward to becoming a grandmother. 8.55 Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.55 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 11.55 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.15 One Foot in the Grave (S). 5.35 The Two Ronnies Spectacle (S). The story of the comedy double act.

The Dilemma, 9pm

Storm City, 8pm

Pramface, 10pm

6.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 8/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/17.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12/24. 6.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 16/24.

6.40 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 1/25. A duck explodes on Heartbeat.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/17. Penny appears in a musical. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 14/24.

7.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 2/13. Fry uncovers an ancient prophecy. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 9/21.

7.10 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 2/25. 7.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1/8. Del grabs an opportunity to make a quick profit.

8.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (S,HD). 5/13. Stephen Mulhern hosts the companion show to the talent competition.

8.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 18/22. Disillusioned by Jedikiahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lies about his father, Stephen decides to bring in a breakout to Ultra to see if things have really changed.

8.00 Storm City (S,HD). 4/4. Documentary in which Ben Fogle explores the devastating impact of extreme weather. Last in the series.

8.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2/8. An audition gives Raquel the chance of a lifetime â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and perhaps more importantly, an excuse to get out of Nelson Mandela House.

9.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! Top 100 Talent (R,S). Harry Hill narrates a countdown of 100 talent-themed clips sent in by viewers, featuring everything from karaoke calamities to stage falls and battle stunts gone wrong.

9.00 The Dilemma (S,HD) 9.00 Revolution (S,HD). (2011). A man realises his 20/22. See Choices best friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife is Above. having an affair. Unsure of whether he will be believed, he sets out to gather irrefutable evidence of her infidelity, but is not prepared for the further secrets he uncovers. Ron 10.00 24: Live Another Day Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s comedy (R,S,HD). 1/12. The realdrama, starring Vince time drama makes its Vaughn, Kevin James, eagerly awaited return, Winona Ryder and with fugitive former Jennifer Connelly. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? agent Jack Bauer in London just as the US president pays a visit. Kiefer Sutherland stars.

Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More ... 8pm

10.00 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 9/10. With guests Fazer, Ricky Wilson and Chris Ramsey. 10.50 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). 2/6. Topical comedy show, presented by Caroline Flack.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL 7.05pm, Channel 4

An alien is sent to Earth on a mission to decide if the human race should be wiped out. Sci-fi remake, starring Keanu Reeves.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 7.30 Premier League Preview (HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live (HD). 2.30 Live Championship Rugby Union (HD). Bristol v Rotherham Titans (Kick-off 2.45pm). 5.00 FL72 Live (HD). The first leg of a League One play-off semi-final

Live Rugby Union, 2.30pm

7.15 FL72 Live (HD). The first leg of a League Two playoff semi-final (Kick-off 7.30pm). Coverage of the fixture between the sides that finished seventh and fourth respectively.

10.00 Pramface (S). 2/6. Jamie 10.00 Rise as One (HD). A look decides to propose to back at the match Laura. between USA and Iran in the 1998 World Cup. 10.40 The Catherine Tate Show (S). 2/6. Jill 10.30 Football League Gold Halfpenny guest stars. (S,HD). Bolton Wanderers v Watford. 10.45 Football League Gold (S,HD). Charlton Athletic v Sunderland from 1998.

11.35 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 5/13. The auditions continue with Ant and Dec.

11.15 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 24: Live Another Day (R,S,HD). 3/24. Leonard (R,S,HD). 2/12. Jack tries accompanies Amy to her to protect President colleagueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wedding. Heller. 11.45 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/24. Penny arranges a date for Raj.

11.20 Little Britain (S). 2/8. David Soul guest stars.

11.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). The first leg of a League One play-off semi-final. 11.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). The first leg of a League One play-off semi-final.

12.40 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). Stephen Mulhern goes behind the scenes after the fifth auditions. 1.40 Dads (R,S,HD). 2.00 Dads (R,S,HD). 2.25 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 2.45 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.15 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 12.50 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.20 Rude Tube 2012 (R,S,HD). 2.25 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.50 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 3.15 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3.55 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.50 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Too Short (S). Warwick appears alongside Helena Bonham Carter. 12.40 Pramface (S). 1.15 The Catherine Tate Show (S). 1.50 Little Britain (S). 2.20 Shooting Stars (S). Comedy quiz, with guests Example, Si King, Camilla Dallerup and Linda Henry. 3.00 Close

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 12.30 Rise as One (HD). 1.00 Football League Gold (S,HD). 2.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 3.00 4.00 Football League Gold (HD). 4.15 Football League Gold (S). 4.30 Football League Gold (HD). 4.45 Football League Gold (S,HD). 5.00 Football League Gold (HD).

12.00 Arrow (R,S,HD). Diggle and Felicity take drastic action. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 3.30 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S). 5.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S).

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). The decline of the British sports car industry. Last in the series. 8.00 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (S,HD) (2003). Swashbuckling fantasy adventure, starring Johnny Depp. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.15 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News Extra (R,HD). An extended look at the comedianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favourite moments from the series. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.20 Family Guy (R,S). 11.40 Family Guy (R,S). 12.05 Family Guy (R,S). 12.25 Family Guy (R,S). 12.50 Family Guy (R,S). 1.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.40 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 2.30 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 3.00 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 3.30 Some Girls (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural World â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Highland Haven (R,HD). The wildlife of the Highlands. 8.00 Byzantium: A Tale of Three Cities (R,HD). The transformation of Istanbul in the 20th century. Last in the series. 9.00 Alan Bennett at 80: Bennett Meets Hytner (HD). An interview with playwright Alan Bennett as he celebrates his 80th birthday. 10.00 Talking Heads (R). 10.40 Talking Heads (R). 11.30 The Many Faces of Les Dawson (R). Profile of the Manchester-born comedian. 12.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 1.10 Sounds of the 70s (R). 1.40 Byzantium: A Tale of Three Cities (R,HD). 2.40 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural World â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Highland Haven (R,HD).

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WEEKEND 67

THE COMEDY VAULTS: BBC2’S HIDDEN TREASURE 9pm, BBC2

TV PICKS

THE CRIMSON FIELD 9pm, BBC1

Joan is interrogated by Col Purbright after being charged with aiding the enemy and Kitty feels guilty that she did nothing to stop her colleague.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions (S,HD). 11.00 Sunday Politics (S). 12.00 BBC News (S,HD). 12.15 Live Formula 1: Spanish Grand Prix (S,HD). Coverage from the Circuit de Catalunya in Barcelona (Start-time 1.00pm). 3.15 Final Score (S,HD). Updates on the final day of the Premier League season. 5.30 Points of View (S,HD). 5.45 Songs of Praise (S,HD). The winning school choirs are announced.

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

This programme delves into the archives for rare and unseen moments from some of the greatest names in comedy. Featuring clips from unbroadcast pilots including Miranda Hart’s Joke Shop, Stephen Fry’s first appearance as QI host and a sitcom starring the band Madness.

BBC2

6.05 Film: His Kind of Woman (S) (1951). ●●● 8.00 Countryfile (R,S,HD). 9.00 Gardeners’ World (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Beechgrove Garden (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S). 11.30 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (R,S,HD). 12.15 MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). 1.00 Film: An Ideal Husband (S,HD) (1999). ●●●● 2.30 Badminton Horse Trials (S). 4.30 Inspire: The Olympic Journey (S). 5.00 Flog It! (S,HD).

VERA 8pm, ITV

When a suspected poacher is found dead from a single gunshot wound, Vera must unearth the truth behind his return to the Northumberland moors after a 15-year absence.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 ITV News (S). 8.30 Weekend (S). 9.25 May the Best House Win (R,S,HD). 10.25 Film: Columbo: Butterfly in Shades of Grey (S,HD) (1993). Crime drama, with Peter Falk. ●●●● 12.20 ITV News and Weather (S). 12.30 Big Star’s Little Star (R,S,HD). 1.35 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S,HD). 2.20 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 3.20 Let Me Entertain You (R,S,HD). 3.50 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 4.20 Midsomer Murders (R,S).

FOR THE LOVE OF CARS 8pm, Channel 4

From its revolutionary design to its conquering record as a track and rally car, the Mini Cooper Mk1 was the small car with the big heart driven by royalty and ordinary members of the public. Ant Anstead tracks one down at the back of a barn in Dublin and gets to work restoring the vehicle.

Channel 4

6.15 British GT (S). 6.40 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.30 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.35 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). 1.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.40 The Simpsons (R,S). 3.10 Film: Ever After: A Cinderella Story (S,HD) (1998). Romantic drama, starring Drew Barrymore and Dougray Scott. ●●●● 5.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). Beat-thebanker game show.

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Access. 10.05 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.40 Beware! Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD). 11.40 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). 12.40 Film: Mrs Caldicot’s Cabbage War (S,HD) (2003). ●● 2.50 Film: The Canterville Ghost (S) (1996). Supernatural comedy, starring Patrick Stewart. ●●● 4.40 Film: Pocahontas (S,HD) (1995). Disney animated drama, with the voice of Irene Bedard. ●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.30 Off Their Rockers (S,HD). 6/7. Seb learns how to twerk.

7.00 Posh Pawn (R,S). 2/6. An entrepreneur wants to borrow £100,000 against his Lamborghini.

8.00 The Best of Top Gear (S,HD). The team looks back at highlights of the motoring series, including the fastest new models, the most desirable classics and the craziest stunts.

8.00 For the Love of Cars (S,HD). 4/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Comedy Vaults: BBC2’s Hidden Treasure (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Vera (S,HD). 3/4. The body of a man killed by a single gunshot wound is discovered on the moors and a burnt-out truck containing the remains of a deer is found a mile away. Joe is convinced the case is a poaching war gone wrong, but for Vera, the truth is never that straightforward. Delving into the victim’s story, she unearths a sad childhood in the country and a troubled life in the city, scraping by as a novelist. Brenda Blethyn and David Leon star in the murder mystery. See Choices Above.

10.00 QI XL (S,HD). 15/16. Extended edition. With Julia Zemiro, Tim Vine and Rob Brydon. 10.45 A Beautiful Mind (S) (2001). Biopic of brilliant mathematician John Nash, whose genius was compromised by paranoid delusions and schizophrenia. Oscar-winning drama, starring Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany. ●●●

10.00 Perspectives – Under My Skin: Emeli Sande in Search of Frida Kahlo (S,HD). 4/6. The singer visits Mexico City to find out how her heroine overcame illness and a serious traffic accident to establish herself as one of the world’s best-known female artists.

10.05 Season of the Witch (S,HD) (2011). See Choices Above. ●●

10.00 The Bucket List (S,HD) (2007). Two terminally ill men plan to enjoy the time they have left by working through a list of things they have always wanted to do. Comedy, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. ●●●

11.00 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.15 Premiership Rugby Union (HD). Action from the final round of regular-season fixtures.

11.55 Underworld: Evolution (S) (2006). Action fantasy sequel, starring Kate Beckinsale. ●●

11.50 The Woman with 40 Cats – and Other Pet Hoarders (R,S,HD). People whose love of animals has become an obsession.

12.55 Film: Expired (S) (2007). Romantic drama, with Samantha Morton and Jason Patric. ●●● 2.35 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). Ellie Harrison explores mountains and presents archive items on a similar theme. 3.30 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S,HD). Jonny finds an unlikely ally in the custody battle. 4.30 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.10 The Store. Home shopping. 2.40 Motorsport UK (S,HD). Action from the latest races at Brands Hatch. 3.30 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 4.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences. 5.05 Rory Bremner’s Great British Views (R,S,HD). The presenter travels to Brighton.

1.45 Southland (S,HD). 2.30 The Hotel (R,S,HD). Mark tries to find a buyer for the Grosvenor. Last in the series. 3.30 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners (R,S,HD). 4.25 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 4.50 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites (R,S,HD). 4.55 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.50 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.15 SuperCasino. 3.10 7/7 Commuter Carnage: Minute by Minute (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

▼

7.00 Australia with Simon Reeve (R,S,HD). 2/3. The author and adventurer continues his Australian journey.

▼

6.10 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 6.15 Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (S,HD) (1995). Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey. ●●●

7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). A visit to London’s Lee Valley, where Matt Baker meets the siblings who have turned saladgrowing into a thriving business.

▼

The Bucket List, 10pm

6.30 Channel 4 News (S).

8.00 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). 21/26. The experts pay a second visit to Exeter Cathedral, where items include artworks by the sculptor Elisabeth Frink and a map of the Battle of Waterloo drawn by an eyewitness.

▼

after

Posh Pawn, 7pm

6.20 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.45 Catchphrase (S,HD). 9/12. Guessing game, hosted by Stephen Mulhern.

9.00 The Crimson Field (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above.

▼

Perspectives – Under … 10pm

6.00 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 20/20. A Milton Keynes couple hoping to move to the Languedoc region of southern France. Last in the series.

10.00 Regional News (S,HD). 10.25 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents highlights of the final Premier League matches of the season, which included Norwich City v Arsenal and Cardiff City v Chelsea.

▼

QI XL, 10pm

6.30 Regional News (S,HD).

11.55 The Millionaire Preacher: Reggie Yates’ Extreme South Africa (S,HD). 3/3. The boom in Pentecostal “megachurches”. Last in the series.

▼

6 7 8 9

Countryfile, 7pm

12.55 Weatherview (S). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD).

68 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 9, 2014

9.00 Fargo (S,HD). 4/10. See Choices Above.

8.00 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (S,HD) (2003). Fearless hunter Allan Quatermain teams up with a host of other characters from Victorian literature – including Captain Nemo, the Invisible Man, Tom Sawyer and Dr Jekyll – to put a stop to the nefarious Fantom’s evil plot to bring about a world war. Fantasy adventure, based on Alan Moore’s comic-book series, starring Sean Connery, Shane West, Stuart Townsend, Richard Roxburgh, Peta Wilson and Tony Curran. See Choices Above. ●●

FUTURAMA 8.30pm, Sky1

With the elections for world leader just around the corner, former president Richard Nixon announces his intention to run, the prospect of which leaves Leela in despair. Deciding to enter the political game herself, she finds a worthy candidate to support and runs his campaign.

When Gus tries to right a wrong, Malvo embraces his alter ego, while Lester finds himself in a surprising situation and Molly uncovers a promising lead in the murder investigation.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 Rizzle Kicks – The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.55 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.55 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 12.20 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 12.55 Film: The Iron Giant (S,HD) (1999). ●●●●● 2.40 Film: Zookeeper (S,HD) (2011). ●● 4.40 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 5.45 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S,HD).

6.25 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD). 7.15 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.30 Youngers (R,S,HD). 1.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 2.05 Revenge (R,S,HD). 3.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Hour of Power (S,HD). 7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hugh Jackman: Becoming Wolverine (R,S,HD). 9.30 Futurama (R,S,HD). 10.00 WWE Superstars (R,HD). 11.00 WWE: Experience (HD). 12.00 Road Wars (S,HD). Police officers combat vehicle crime. 1.00 Futurama (R,S). 2.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S).

FILM PICKS

FARGO 9pm, Channel 4

SEASON OF THE WITCH 10.05pm, Channel 4

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN 8pm, Channel 5

Two knights escort a suspected witch to trial, but are not prepared for the powers she possesses. Fantasy, with Nicolas Cage.

GOLD

6.00 Sykes. 7.10 The Brittas Empire (S). 7.50 Goodnight Sweetheart. 9.10 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 10.30 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 11.50 dinnerladies (S). 1.10 One Foot in the Grave (S). 2.40 Jeeves and Wooster (S). 5.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S). Norman Wisdom guest stars.

Fantasy adventure, based on Alan Moore’s comic-book series, starring Sean Connery and Shane West.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football League Gold (HD). 6.30 Rise as One. 7.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). 11.55 FL72 Live (HD). The first leg of a League Two play-off semi-final (Kick-off 12.00pm). 2.00 Live Super Sunday (HD). A match from the final day of the Premier League season (Kick-off 3.00pm).

Viral Tap, 10pm

Crocodile Dundee II, 8pm

Hawaii Five-0, 9pm

dinnerladies, 7.40pm

Live Super Sunday, 2pm

6.45 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2/26. A cat has an accident involving a DVD player.

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 17/22. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 15/24.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 10/21. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 11/21.

6.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 1/6. Daddy has an accident.

6.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). A La Liga match.

7.15 Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (S,HD) (2005). Anakin Skywalker turns to the dark side and betrays the Jedi as the forces of evil seize control of the galaxy. Sci-fi adventure prequel, with Hayden Christensen and Ewan McGregor. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

7.00 Troy (R,S,HD). 1/6. A magician uses everyday objects and situations to baffle and amaze members of the public.

7.00 About a Boy (R,S,HD). 6/13. Will rushes Marcus to hospital after an incident with a knife. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 12/21.

7.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 2/6. 7.40 dinnerladies (S). 2/6. The staff await a royal visit.

8.00 Crocodile Dundee II (S,HD) (1988). The Australian adventurer lures the drug dealers who kidnapped his girlfriend to the Outback for a showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski. Edited for violence and language. ●●●

8.00 The Simpsons (HD). 7/22. Principal Skinner introduces a unique incentive to make pupils behave. 8.30 Futurama (S,HD). 3/13. See Choices Above.

8.20 dinnerladies (S). 6/6. Bren is left to run the night shift.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (HD). 17/22. Danny is struggling to come to terms with his parents’ split, the team unravels a devious kidnapping plot, and Jerry helps McGarrett decipher a code found in his Champ box.

9.00 The Two Ronnies Spectacle (S). 1/3. Threepart documentary telling the story of the comedy double act, beginning with an account of how Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett first came to work together.

8.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Coverage of a match from La Liga. Barcelona are the reigning champions after beating Real Madrid to the title last season.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 Viral Tap (S,HD). 3/6. 10.15 The Inbetweeners (S,HD). 16/24. A DEA Topical comedy show, (R,S). 3/6. Simon faces a agent is seconded to the presented by Caroline dilemma. team following an Flack. 10.50 The Inbetweeners explosion with possible 10.50 License to Wed (S,HD) (R,S). 4/6. The gang visits drug connections. Kensi (2007). An eccentric a university. investigates a helicopter vicar puts a couple crash connected to the through a course of elusive White Ghost in gruelling challenges to Afghanistan. prove they are ready for married life. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, 11.25 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Cop Squad (R,S,HD). Mandy Moore and John (R,S,HD). 11/17. Penny 9/10. The work of police Krasinski. Including FYI volunteers to nurse officers in Daily. ●● Sheldon. Cambridgeshire. 11.50 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/17.

10.00 Life’s Too Short (S). 3/7. 10.00 SNF – Match Choice Warwick appears (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee alongside Helena presents extended Bonham Carter. highlights from the Premier League, 10.40 Best of Not the Nine allowing viewers to O’Clock News (S). 5/8. access the final round of Highlights of the sketch top-flight fixtures, show. including Liverpool v Newcastle United.

12.40 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). Topical comedy show, presented by Caroline Flack. 1.20 You’ve Been Framed and Famous! (R,S). Comical clips, narrated by Harry Hill. 2.15 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Stefan tries to distract Elena. 3.00 Teleshopping. Home shopping.

12.35 Shooting Stars (S). Comedy quiz, with guests Example, Si King, Camilla Dallerup and Linda Henry. 1.10 Best of Not the Nine O’Clock News (S). 1.35 Nighty Night. 2.05 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer (S). Jack Dent and Eric Potter present a British Information Board film. 3.00 Close

12.20 Rude Tube 2012 (R,S,HD). Online clips featuring animal antics. 1.20 Troy (R,S,HD). 2.20 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.45 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 3.10 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 3.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus.

12.00 Cop Squad (R,S,HD). Stowaways are found in the trailer of a lorry. 1.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). Police officers combat vehicle crime. 2.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S). 5.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S).

BBC3

7.00 Formula 1: The Spanish Grand Prix – Highlights (S,HD). Action from the Circuit de Catalunya in Barcelona. 7.40 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (S,HD) (2006). Swashbuckling adventure sequel, starring Johnny Depp. ●●● 10.00 In the Flesh (S,HD). Kieren’s dreams of escaping are ruined. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). Brian has a brush with death. 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). Stan persuades his last single friend to get married. 12.10 Jonah from Tonga (R,S,HD). 12.40 In the Flesh (R,S,HD). 1.40 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 2.40 Great Movie Mistakes V: Revenge of the Fifth (R,S). 3.00 In the Flesh (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 The Wooden Horse (1950). PoWs in a German camp try to escape by using a vaulting horse to cover the tunnel they are digging. Factbased Second World War drama, starring Leo Genn. ●●● 8.45 Wild Scotland (R). Sea eagles on the island of Mull. 9.00 An Englishman Abroad (R). 10.00 The Sky at Night (HD). 10.30 Dinner at Noon (R). Alan Bennett documentary from 1988. 11.10 Krakatoa Revealed (R). The eruption of the tiny volcanic island in 1883. 12.00 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (R,HD). 12.30 When Rock Goes Acoustic (R). 1.30 Acoustic at the BBC (R). 2.30 The Rolling Stones at the BBC (R). 3.15 Sounds of the 70s (R).

SUNDAY May 11

11.15 Nighty Night. 3/6. 11.30 SNF – Match Choice 11.55 The Smell of Reeves (HD). Extended and Mortimer (S). 3/6. highlights from the final Jack Dent and Eric Potter round of Premier League present a British fixtures. Information Board film. 1.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the final round of Premier League fixtures. 2.30 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 4.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 4.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 5.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD).

from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 69

TV PICKS

THE GREATEST EVER WAR MOVIES 9pm, Channel 5

A countdown of the nation’s favourite war films as voted for by viewers, with contributions by Elliot Gould and Al Murray.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Fake Britain (R,S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Caught Red Handed (R,S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 The Link (S,HD). 3.00 Countdown to Chelsea (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

PREY 9pm, ITV

The weight of the investigation becomes too much for Devlin, and the hunt for Farrow reaches a dramatic climax when Reinhardt closes in on her prey. Just as time starts to run out, the fugitive finally finds some answers – but are they enough to clear his name? Catand-mouse thriller, starring John Simm.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.20 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.20 Animal Park (R,S). 7.50 First Time on the Front Line 8.20 Sign Zone: Countryside 999 9.05 Sign Zone: Permission Impossible: Britain’s Planners (R,S). 10.05 Sign Zone: Real Lives Reunited (R,S). 10.35 Click (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 The A to Z of TV Cooking (R,S). 1.15 Life in Cold Blood (R,S). 2.15 The Pallisers 3.05 Coast 3.45 Great British Garden Revival. 4.45 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

DIY SOS: THE BIG BUILD 9pm, BBC1

Nick Knowles and his band of builders are in Sunderland, where they and local tradespeople renovate the home of a woman unable to walk or talk since suffering a brain infection.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Celebrity interviews and topical studio discussion. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S). 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S). 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show (S,HD).

THE ISLAND WITH BEAR GRYLLS 9pm, Channel 4

It’s 48 hours since their last meal and hunger grips the castaways as the harsh reality of the survival challenge dawns on them. The race is on to bring food back to camp, and the men take greater and greater risks in their pursuit of vital calories – seeking new ways to chase, trap and outsmart the elusive wildlife.

Channel 4

6.45 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.10 3rd Rock from the Sun (R,S). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (R,S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S,HD). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 Benidorm ER (R,S,HD). A rugby player injures his foot kicking a metal pole. 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S,HD). Gibbs’s barber suspects his son may be a serial killer. 3.15 Film: Trial by Fire (S) (2008). See Choices Above. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Classic Car Rescue (S,HD). Bernie Fineman and Mario Pacione set out to restore a 1960s VW camper van. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Pete finds his relationship with Debbie in tatters. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Peter goes to a hotel bar and is shocked to see Rob.

▼

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 5/6. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament. By Plaid Cymru, the Party of Wales.

▼

Classic Car Rescue, 7pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 14/25. Homer wins a role on The Itchy & Scratchy Show. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Jason and Holly’s funds begin to dwindle.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). The local paper prints Lola’s scathing interview about Lucy. 8.30 From Jail to Jihad? – Panorama (S,HD). The increasing threat of radicalisation in prison.

8.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events (R,S,HD). 1/3. Chris Packham investigates unusual natural events, including a town brought to a standstill by a swarm of insects and residents kept awake by deafening mating calls.

8.00 Gino’s Italian Escape (R,S,HD). 3/6. Gino D’Acampo visits Puglia. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Tyrone punches Todd when he insults Maria.

8.00 Britain’s Most Extreme Weather (S,HD). 3/4. Alex Beresford examines rainfall in Britain, looking back at the floods of 1770 and 1872 and analysing scientific research to find out if the nation’s wet weather is getting worse.

8.00 DIY Dummies (S,HD). New series. Al Murray celebrates home-improvement disasters, beginning with a man who survived a near-death experience after shooting himself in the heart with a nailgun. Followed by 5 News.

▼

The Island with Bear Grylls, 9pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

9.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build (S,HD). 4/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Copacabana Palace (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Prey (S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Island with Bear Grylls (S,HD). 2/5. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Greatest Ever War Movies (S). See Choices Above.

▼

Coronation Street, 7.30pm

6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 1/20. Richard Wilson and Annette Crosbie take part in the challenge. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 26/45. The first of the North East heats.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt Baker. 7.30 The Storms That Shook the South West (S). Followed by Regional News.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.35 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (S,HD). By the Liberal Democrats. 10.40 Have I Got a Bit More News for You (S,HD). 6/9. Hosted by David Mitchell, with Andy Hamilton and Susan Calman.

10.00 Mock the Week Looks Back at Food & Drink (R,S). 10/10. Another themed selection of material from the show’s archives. Last in the series. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.33 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (S). By the Liberal Democrats. 10.35 Benidorm (R,S). 2/6. Mick upsets Janice during a trip to the Callosa waterfalls.

10.00 Man vs Weird (S,HD). 1/3. New series. Simon Farnaby travels the world meeting people who claim to have extraordinary abilities. His journey begins in Croatia with a boy believed to have magnetic powers.

11.25 Regional Programme (R,S,HD).

11.20 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (R,S,HD). By the Liberal Democrats. 11.25 Blurred Lines: The New Battle of the Sexes (R,S,HD).

11.35 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey (R,S,HD). 2/4. The actress explores the north of Greece.

11.00 Gogglebox (R,S). 10/12. Viewers’ opinions on recent TV.

12.10 Weatherview (S). 12.15 BBC News (S,HD).

12.25 Sign Zone: Louis Theroux’s LA Stories (R,S). Louis spends time with sex offenders who are on parole. Last in the series. 1.25 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S,HD). 4.00 A Question of Faith (R,S,HD). Students explore some big questions of faith. 5.00 Schools – In My Shoes Plus: China (R,S,HD).

12.35 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly (S,HD). A look ahead to the final. 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 4.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences. 5.05 Rory Bremner’s Great British Views (R,S,HD). The comedian heads to York.

12.05 Random Acts (S). 12.10 Fargo (R,S,HD). 1.05 Scandal (S,HD). 1.55 Southcliffe (R,S,HD). Events leading up to the shootings are detailed. 2.50 Mr Drew’s School for Boys (R,S,HD). 3.45 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners (R,S,HD). 4.40 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.35 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.55 Countdown (R,S,HD).

10 11

Mock the Week Looks … 10pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD).

▼

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 8pm

▼

after

70 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 9, 2014

12.00 Saving Private Ryan: The True Story (R,S,HD). 12.55 Access (R). 1.05 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S).

This documentary follows the lives of the staff and guests over the course of three months, revealing how the hotel’s story reflects the fortunes of the entire nation – which is a country of extraordinary extremes.

ABOUT A BOY 9pm, Sky1

Will has been looking forward to a boozy catch-up and poker night with his pals for ages, so when Fiona turns up uninvited, he isn’t too happy. Meanwhile, as Fiona is learning about cards, her son Marcus is attending his first-ever sleepover. Comedy, starring David Walton.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

COPACABANA PALACE 9pm, BBC2

TRIAL BY FIRE 3.15pm, Channel 5

A firefighter is wrongly blamed for the death of her father, hours before he was due to retire from the department. Eager to prove herself to her peers, she sets out to join an elite squad of smoke jumpers who are expected to leap from planes into the heart of a blaze. Thriller, starring Brooke Burns.

GOLD

6.00 Football’s Next Star (R,S,HD). 7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 3.30 Football’s Funniest Moments (R). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 6.30 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 7.00 As Time Goes By (S). 7.40 Goodnight Sweetheart. 8.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 9.00 Bewitched. 10.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the final round of Premier League fixtures. 2.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 3.00 Game Changers (HD). 4.00 Football League Gold (HD). 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 5.30 Rise as One (HD).

The 40 Year-Old … 9.30pm

Revenge, 9pm

About a Boy, 9pm

Miranda, 8pm

Premier League … 6pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 14/40. Joel from Manchester picks three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/17. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 14/17.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 16/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 21/22.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 2/7. The boys discuss life, love and women.

6.00 Premier League – End of Season Special (HD). The major stories from the final day of the Premier League.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7/26. A practical joke has a sticky ending. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 9/26.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 6/24. The gang runs into Stella at a restaurant.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/22. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 11/22. Marge and Homer make plans for the future.

7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 1/25. A duck explodes on Heartbeat. 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 2/25. Jim Bowen bursts into song.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 21/24. Evelyn’s second husband dies. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 22/24. Alan goes on a blind date.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 17/22. 8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 14/24. Deke takes Max back to his place after their first date.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,HD). 7/22. Principal Skinner introduces a unique incentive to make pupils behave. 8.30 Modern Family (S,HD). 18/24. The adults take a trip to Las Vegas.

8.00 Miranda (S). 2/6. The singleton tries to learn French. 8.40 Gavin & Stacey (S). 3/6. The couple celebrate their engagement.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). The second leg of a Championship play-off semi-final (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the fixture between the sides that finished fourth and fifth respectively.

9.00 Mom (S,HD). 20/22. Violet questions Luke about his refusal to put the baby up for adoption. 9.30 The 40 Year-Old Virgin (S,HD) (2005). See Choices Above. ●●●

9.00 Revenge (S,HD). 19/22. Emily learns the identity of a key conspirator against her father while at the races, and she makes plans with Jack for another takedown.

9.00 About a Boy (S,HD). 7/13. See Choices Above. 9.30 Twin Towns (S,HD). 5/10. Galway bakers the Griffins sample the American way of life.

9.20 Gavin & Stacey (S). 4/6. The Shipmans drive to Wales for the wedding fayre.

10.00 Made in Chelsea (S). 6/11. Binky deals with the repercussions of letting Alex back in her life, while tensions are exposed between some of the girls during a game of netball.

10.00 Hebburn (S). 3/6. Sarah’s 10.00 Premier League – End parents visit. of Season Special (HD). David Jones is joined by 10.40 Bottom (S). 4/6. Eddie Gary Neville, Jamie hatches a get-rich-quick Carragher, Graeme scheme. Souness and Jamie Redknapp to discuss all the major stories from the final day of the Premier League.

10.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 4/12. With Steve Harmison and Dara O Briain.

11.00 Party House (S,HD). 5/6. 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.55 Two and a Half Men Anne-Marie wants to (R,S,HD). 4/24. A female (R,S,HD). 21/24. Evelyn’s get back with her reporter is murdered. second husband dies. ex-boyfriend.

11.20 The Young Ones (S). 3/6. Guest starring Madness.

11.30 Rise as One (HD). A look at the France team that won the 1998 FIFA World Cup.

12.25 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Alan goes on a blind date. 12.50 Dads (R,S,HD). 1.15 Dads (R,S,HD). 1.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.10 Gavin & Stacey (S). The couple celebrate their engagement. 12.50 Gavin & Stacey (S). The Shipmans drive to Wales for the wedding fayre. 1.25 Hebburn (S). Sarah’s parents visit. 1.55 Bottom (S). 2.25 The Young Ones (S). Guest starring Madness. 3.00 Close

12.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 1.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 2.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 3.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 3.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 4.00 Rise as One (HD). 4.30 Premier League – End of Season Special (HD).

12.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.00 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 2.55 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 3.20 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.45 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). The team investigates a shoot-out at a pawn shop. 1.00 Hawaii Five0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Star-Crossed (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

www.mpct.co.uk

THE 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN 9.30pm, ITV2

A middle-aged shop worker reveals he has never been intimate with a woman, which prompts his shocked colleagues to set him up with a series of potentially passionate dates. When he falls for a single mother, his friends think he is right on course for a lusty liaison. Comedy, starring Steve Carell.

BBC3

7.00 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (R,S). The final week of placements. Last in the series. 8.00 Don’t Tell the Bride (R,S). A Liverpool man with Ghanaian roots plans his wedding. 9.00 Barely Legal Drivers (S,HD). New series. A dancer makes a move to university. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.10 Barely Legal Drivers (R,S,HD). 1.05 In the Flesh (R,S,HD). 2.05 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.35 Great Movie Mistakes V: Revenge of the Fifth (R,S). 3.00 Barely Legal Drivers (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 8.00 Groundbreakers: The Man Who Shrank the World (R,HD). 8.30 Only Connect (HD). 9.00 Hinterland (HD). Mathias investigates a link involving Herbert Rees. 10.35 The First Georgians: The German Kings Who Made Britain (R,HD). How George II had to adapt to a change in society. 11.35 The Toilet – An Unspoken History (R,HD). Ifor ap Glyn examines the social history of the toilet. 12.35 Only Connect (R,HD). 1.05 Timeshift: The Golden Age of Coach Travel (R). 2.05 Hinterland (R,HD).

MONDAY May 12

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Grow the Workforce WEEKEND 71

from Friday, May 9, 2014

TV PICKS

BEN FOGLEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ANIMAL CLINIC 8pm, Channel 5

THE BIG ALLOTMENT CHALLENGE 8pm, BBC2

Equine surgeon Neil Townsend operates on a horse that is at serious risk of dying from colic, and vet Paolo Silvestrini treats a rescue kitten.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Fake Britain (R,S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Caught Red Handed (R,S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 The Link (S,HD). 3.00 Countdown to Chelsea (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

Fern Britton presents as the five remaining pairs of gardeners battle it out for a place in the final, beginning by presenting onions and chrysanthemums for the scrutiny of Jim Buttress. Jonathan Moseley asks them to create a pedestal of flowers and Thane Prince sets them the challenge of making well-set jellies.

BBC2

6.20 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.20 Caught Red Handed (R,S,HD). 7.50 First Time on the Front Line 8.20 Sign Zone: Countryside 999 (R,S). 9.05 Sign Zone: Collectaholics (R,S). 10.05 Sign Zone: Real Lives Reunited (R,S). 10.35 HARDtalk (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 The Super League Show (S). 1.45 One Man and His Campervan 2.15 The Pallisers (R,S,HD). 3.05 Coast 3.45 Great British Garden Revival (R,S,HD). 4.45 Raymond Blancâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen Secrets 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

HAPPY VALLEY 9pm, BBC1

The search for kidnapped woman Ann Gallagher takes a tragic turn when Kirsten pulls a van over for speeding and hears muffled sounds coming from the back.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With guest Natalie J Robb. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S,HD). 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S,HD). 5.00 The Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady Show (S,HD).

MR DREWâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SCHOOL FOR BOYS 9pm, Channel 4

Head teacher Stephen Drew decides to tackle the ongoing lack of respect with a high-risk strategy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; he has organised an away match against a local football team, with any bad language or foul play resulting in an immediate red card. In the build-up, PE teacher Mr Volante is determined to get the boys into shape.

Channel 4

6.40 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.05 3rd Rock from the Sun (R,S). 7.30 The King of Queens (R,S). 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (R,S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S,HD). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 Classic Car Rescue (R,S,HD). Bernie Fineman and Mario Pacione set out to restore a 1960s VW camper van. 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Wandering Eye (S,HD) (2011). Thriller, starring Amanda Righetti. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Documentary following life in the British Overseas Territory. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Chas shares her concerns about Charity with Cain. 7.30 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 6/6. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament. By the Scottish National Party.

â&#x2013;ź

The Mentalist, 10pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 15/25. A gay man befriends the family. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). A private confession goes public during the Hollyoaks High talent show.

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 31/52. Sacha suffers a crisis of conscience after facing a shocking truth, an incident brings Jonny and Jac closer as parents and Adele assumes Moâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s identity on a local radio show.

8.00 The Big Allotment Challenge (S,HD). 5/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic (S,HD). 5/8. The doctors take more viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; calls in the live clinic, explore the inner workings of Christian Jessenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s digestive system and investigate what happens when heartburn strikes.

8.00 Ben Fogleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Animal Clinic (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News.

â&#x2013;ź

Embarrassing Bodies â&#x20AC;Ś 8pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S). 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

9.00 Happy Valley (S,HD). 3/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Watermen: A Dirty Business (S,HD). 5/6. Storm tanks are put in place to tackle excess waste caused by heavy rain in Manchester, and a team deals with 30,000 litres of concrete that has been poured down a sewer.

9.00 Mr Drewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s School for Boys (S,HD). 3/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (S,HD). 3/4. A patient arrives in agony, suffering from sore testicles, a cancer survivor returns for her test results and Dr Opong performs a rectal exam on a man experiencing a worrying bleed.

â&#x2013;ź

Emmerdale, 7pm

6.00 Eggheads (R,S,HD). Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 2/20. Fiona Phillips and Richard Madeley hunt for valuables in Cornwall. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 27/45. The North East chefs prepare seafood courses.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Live chat and topical reports. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). The arrest sends shockwaves through Albert Square. Followed by Regional News.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.35 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (S,HD). By the Conservative Party. Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.40 Monks (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.00 Later Live â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with Jools Holland (S,HD). 5/7. With Kasabian, St Vincent, Brian Eno & Karl Hyde and Natalie Merchant. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.10 ITV News and Weather (S). 10.40 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.44 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (S). By the UK Independence Party. 10.45 The Cube (R,S,HD). 2/9. Presented by Phillip Schofield.

10.00 16 Kids and Counting (R,S,HD). 2/6. How the Salims and Sullivans discipline and educate their children. 10.55 Coppers (R,S). 5/5. Members of Greater Manchester Policeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tactical Aid Unit try to keep order in Bolton.

10.00 The Mentalist (S,HD). 20/22. Jane faces the possibility of a trial for Red Johnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s murder. 10.55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (S,HD). 15/24. A young French model claims she was raped by a billionaire.

11.10 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). 1/8. Micky Flanagan introduces Jason Byrne and Seann Walsh. 11.55 Management (S) (2008). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.20 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (R,S,HD). By the Conservative Party. 11.25 Copacabana Palace (R,S,HD). The lives of the staff and guests at the Rio de Janeiro hotel.

11.45 Wild Britain with Ray Mears (R,S,HD). 6/6. The survival expert explores the Peak District. Last in the series.

11.55 Random Acts (S). Indiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s painted elephants stand proud.

11.50 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 4/9. Megan is filmed while working on a gruesome case.

1.25 Weatherview (S). 1.30 BBC News (S,HD).

12.25 Sign Zone: Monkey Planet (R,S). 1.25 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD). 4.00 Porn â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Harm? (S,HD). 4.30 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Body Matters (R,S,HD). 5.00 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; In My Shoes: Germany & the Netherlands (R,S,HD). 5.55 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Wonders of Nature: Grass Cutter Ants â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Teamwork (S,HD).

12.10 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). With guest Natalie J Robb. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 4.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences. 5.05 Rory Bremnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Great British Views (R,S,HD). The comedian searches for the countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best vantage points.

12.00 Poker (S). The Pokerstars.com EPT main event in London. 12.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.25 Trans World Sport (R,S,HD). 2.20 British GT (R,S). 2.50 The Grid (R,S). 3.15 Four Rooms (R,S,HD). 4.10 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.05 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.35 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.55 Countdown (R,S,HD).

12.40 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 The OAP Killer: First Kill, Last Kill (R,S,HD). David Wilson examines the crimes of serial killer Kenneth Erskine. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S).

10 11

Newsnight, 10.30pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD).

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Holby City, 8pm

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With his world turned upside down, Coulson races to save the life of his one true love, as the mystery of The Cellist is finally revealed. Fantasy drama co-created by Joss Whedon, following the adventures of a skilled team of agents investigating superhuman individuals and strange events. Clark Gregg stars.

The last of the Comedy Playhouse sitcoms follows a small brotherhood of monks who take in an unemployed slacker on the run from the law. Seann Walsh and James Fleet star.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.25 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

E4 6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Next Star (R,S,HD). 7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 7.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

MARVELâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AGENTS OF SHIELD 10.05pm, E4

MONKS 10.40pm, BBC1

MANAGEMENT 11.50pm, BBC1

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX 7.30pm, ITV

A motel employee falls for a travelling saleswoman, and impulsively decides to follow her on her journey across the country. Jennifer Aniston stars.

GOLD 6.00 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 6.30 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 7.00 As Time Goes By (S). 7.40 Goodnight Sweetheart. 8.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 9.00 Bewitched. 10.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

The wizard unites his fellow pupils into a secret army to battle the resurrected Lord Voldemort.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 10.00 Premier League â&#x20AC;&#x201C; End of Season Special (HD). 11.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 1.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 2.00 Premier League â&#x20AC;&#x201C; End of Season Special (HD). 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 4.30 Premier League Review (HD). 5.30 Rise as One (HD).

License to Wed, 10.50pm

17 Again, 8pm

Hawaii Five-0, 8pm

Title, xxpm

Revista De La Liga, 6.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 27/40. Robert from London considers the menus of five suitors.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 15/17. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 16/17.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 18/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/22.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 4/7. The trio visit a historical home.

6.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 6.30 Revista De La Liga (HD). Highlights from La Liga.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Harry Hill narrates camcorder calamities. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Featuring cute kids and silly seniors.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). The Lomaxes face a crisis in the wake of the big revelation. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 7/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 4/22. Homer and Marge uncover details of Grampaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s past. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 13/21.

7.00 Miranda (S). 2/6. The singleton tries to learn French. 7.40 The Two Ronnies Spectacle (S). 2/3.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 23/24. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 24/24. Charlie sleeps with an elderly manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife.

8.00 17 Again (S,HD) (2009). A manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wish to be a teenager again is granted, but his mature outlook on life puts him at odds with others when he returns to high school. Comedy, with Matthew Perry and Zac Efron. Edited for language. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,HD). 17/22. Danny is struggling to come to terms with his parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; split.

8.40 The Thin Blue Line (S). 2/7. Constable Goody becomes jealous.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). The second leg of a League One play-off semi-final (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the fixture between the sides that finished third and sixth respectively.

9.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 16/24. A DEA agent is seconded to the team following an explosion with possible drug connections. Kensi investigates a helicopter crash connected to the elusive White Ghost in Afghanistan.

9.20 The Catherine Tate Show (S). 3/6. Guest starring Bonnie Langford.

9.00 The Vampire Diaries (S,HD). 20/22. Damon keeps Elena and Stefan in a cabin for their protection, but soon tries to find out their secret. Elsewhere, Bonnieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s other side is kept hidden from Jeremy.

10.00 24: Live Another Day 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.05 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of (R,S,HD). 1/12. The real(R,S,HD). 9/10. With SHIELD (R,S,HD). 19/22. time drama makes its guests Fazer and Chris See Choices Above. eagerly awaited return, Ramsey. with fugitive former 10.50 License to Wed (S,HD) agent Jack Bauer in (2007). An eccentric London just as the US vicar puts a couple president pays a visit. through a course of Kiefer Sutherland stars. gruelling challenges to prove they are ready for married life. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, 11.00 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 24: Live Another Day Mandy Moore and John (R,S,HD). 3/24. Leonard (R,S,HD). 2/12. Jack tries Krasinski. Including FYI accompanies Amy to her to protect President Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? colleagueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wedding. Heller. 11.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/24. Penny arranges a date for Raj.

10.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 10.00 Rise as One (HD). A look 3/25. A comic look at The back at the 2004 friendly X Factor. between Haiti and Brazil. 10.30 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 4/25. A review of Hole in 10.30 Football League Gold the Wall. (HD). Bristol City v Hartlepool United and Nottingham Forest v Yeovil Town. 11.00 Not Going Out (S). 3/6. Lee pretends to be Tim. 11.40 Men Behaving Badly (S). 6/7. Gary plays nurse to Dorothy.

11.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). Highlights from La Liga.

12.40 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.05 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Damon keeps Elena and Stefan in a cabin for their protection. 2.15 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.20 Men Behaving Badly (S). Gary finds Dorothy in bed with Tony. 1.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). Constable Goody becomes jealous. 1.30 The Catherine Tate Show (S). Guest starring Bonnie Langford. 2.00 Men Behaving Badly (S). 2.30 Men Behaving Badly (S). 3.00 Close

12.00 Premier League Review (HD). 1.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 2.00 Rise as One (HD). 2.30 Football League Gold (S,HD). 3.00 Spanish Football Gold (S,HD). 3.15 Spanish Football Gold (S,HD). 3.30 Premier League Review (HD). 4.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 5.30 Football League Gold.

12.00 Rude Tube 2012 (R,S,HD). 1.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.00 Youngers (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 2.55 Rude Tube 2012 (R,S,HD). 3.45 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). Chin Ho finds a box containing a human head. 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S).

BBC3

7.00 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S,HD). Ellie Taylor visits Birmingham. 7.30 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell the Bride (R,S). A fun-loving prison officer plans his wedding. 8.30 Gavin & Stacey (R,S,HD). Nessa goes into labour a month early. 9.00 The Call Centre (S,HD). Nev encourages his employees to write some poetry. 10.00 Sweat the Small Stuff (S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.05 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 1.05 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 1.35 Barely Legal Drivers (R,S,HD). 2.30 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Call Centre (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 8.00 Horizon: The Core (R,HD). The scientists trying to recreate the conditions in Earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s core. 9.00 Talking Heads (R). 9.30 102 Boulevard Haussmann (R). Drama by Alan Bennett, starring Alan Bates. 10.45 4,000-Year-Old Cold Case: The Body in the Bog (R,HD). Investigating the discovery of a 4,000-year-old body in Ireland. 11.45 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural World â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Highland Haven (R,HD). 12.45 Krakatoa Revealed (R). 1.35 Horizon: The Core (R,HD). 2.35 4,000-Year-Old Cold Case: The Body in the Bog (R,HD).

TUESDAY May 13

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WEEKEND 73

TV PICKS

EPISODES 10pm, BBC2

The comedy returns, with a reconciled Sean and Beverly trying to deal with revelations about their time apart. Matt LeBlanc, Stephen Mangan and Tamsin Greig star.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Fake Britain (R,S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S). 11.00 Caught Red Handed (R,S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 The Link (S,HD). 3.00 Countdown to Chelsea (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

BILLY CONNOLLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BIG SEND OFF 9pm, ITV

The comedian concludes his journey exploring attitudes toward death and dying. In his native Glasgow, he visits the Necropolis Cemetery, a Victorian burial ground full of striking gravestones and grand monuments to the dead. He then travels to the Anatomy Laboratory in the University of California.

BBC2

6.15 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.15 Caught Red Handed (R,S,HD). 7.45 First Time on the Front Line (R,S,HD). 8.15 Sign Zone 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 The A to Z of TV Cooking (R,S). 1.15 Life in Cold Blood (R,S). 2.15 The Pallisers (R,S,HD). 3.05 Coast (S,HD). 3.45 Great British Garden Revival (R,S,HD). 4.45 Raymond Blancâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen Secrets (R,S,HD). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

WATCHDOG 8pm, BBC1

Anne Robinson presents a new series of consumer reports, investigating a car manufacturerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s claims about safety testing and a high-street sports retailerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pricing policy.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With guest Michelle Heaton. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S). 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S). 5.00 The Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady Show (S,HD). Daily entertainment show with the comedian and guests.

24 HOURS IN A&E 9pm, Channel 4

The documentary follows the work of the stroke team at south Londonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s College Hospital. Lauraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family faces a big decision when the 72-year-old grandmother is found to have a blood clot on her brain, while father-of-three Nic, the over-40s National BMX Champion, collapses in reception.

Channel 4

7.05 3rd Rock from the Sun (R,S). 7.30 The King of Queens (R,S). 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.55 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 10.55 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 11.55 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Coverage of the first day of the Dante Festival at York. 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S,HD). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 Beware! Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD). Dominic Littlewood and Gabrielle Blackman help a Sheffield couple. 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Flirting with Danger (S,HD) (2006). Thriller, starring James Thomas. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Callum inspires Lauren to explore her creative side.

Under Offer: Estate â&#x20AC;Ś 8pm

Big Starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Star, 8pm

Derek, 10pm

Castle, 10pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD). By the Green Party.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S). By the Green Party. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 16/25. Sideshow Bob is released. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). The Lomaxes face a crisis in the wake of the big revelation.

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 1/8. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament. By the Green Party.

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the live magazine show featuring topical reports from around the UK. Followed by Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 131/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 3/20. Arlene Phillips and Anton Du Beke compete in northern England. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 28/45. The North East chefs prepare their main courses.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). James confronts Moira with the DNA test results. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Rob becomes increasingly suspicious of Tina and Peter.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). Documentary providing accounts of extreme and extraordinary disputes between neighbours. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

8.00 Watchdog (S,HD). 1/7. See Choices Above.

8.00 Under Offer: Estate Agents on the Job (S,HD). 6/6. In Exeter, Lewis races to find a client a house for her sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 18th birthday, while a unique property catches the eye of an out-of-town buyer in Spennymoor. Last in the series.

8.00 Big Starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Star (S,HD). 8/8. A peek into the home lives of the stars, with former Westlife singer Nicky Byrne, actor Joe Absolom and TV chef Rachel Allen. Stephen Mulhern hosts. Last in the series.

8.00 The Supervet (S). 2/4. Noel Fitzpatrick operates on a fivemonth-old rabbit with a badly broken hind leg and comes up with an innovative solution for a three-legged dogâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s injured remaining front paw.

8.00 Lockerbie â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Terror at 31,000 Feet: Minute by Minute (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

9.00 MasterChef: The Finals (S,HD). 22/24. The hopefuls enter the last week, cooking a three-course meal to be judged by five leading chefs, and facing an invention test using the humble chicken as its main ingredient.

9.00 Coast (R,S). 1/8. Alice Roberts learns how to pilot a hovercraft. 9.10 Coast Australia (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 Billy Connollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Send Off (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.

9.00 24 Hours in A&E (S,HD). 2/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 19/24. The team investigates the death of a Navy doctor and Duckyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s initial investigation reveals a telltale mark on the victimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s carotid artery, suggesting he was injected with poison.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

The One Show, 7pm

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (S,HD). By the Labour Party. 10.40 A Question of Sport (S,HD). 26/36. With Katherine Grainger and Anthony Ogogo.

10.00 Episodes (S,HD). 1/9. See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11.10 Room 101 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Extra Storage (S,HD). 4/8. With Vernon Kay, Kelly Hoppen and Miles Jupp. 11.50 Dragonfly (S,HD) (2002). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.20 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (R,S,HD). By the Labour Party. 11.25 Watermen: A Dirty Business (R,S,HD). 3/6. A disconnection team tries to recover ÂŁ64,000 in unpaid bills.

1.30 Weatherview (S). 1.35 BBC News (S,HD).

12.25 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S,HD). 12.55 Sign Zone: The Birth of Empire: The East India Company (R,S). 1.55 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S).

10 11

â&#x2013;ź

after

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.33 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (S). By the Labour Party. 10.35 Tomorrow Never Dies (S,HD) (1997). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

12.45 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 British Touring Car Championship (HD). Highlights of round three from Thruxton. 4.15 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 Rory Bremnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Great British Views (R,S,HD). The comedian returns to his home town of Edinburgh.

10.00 Derek (S,HD). 4/6. The Broadhill gang takes a trip to London Zoo. 10.35 Cardinal Burns (S,HD). 3/6. Banksyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s French pen pal comes to stay.

10.00 Castle (S,HD). 23/24. The author investigates the case of a strangled woman. 10.55 Castle (S,HD). 24/24. A hitman escapes during a court hearing. Last in the series.

11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (R,S). 7/15. With John Torode, Gregg Wallace, Lily Allen and Courtney Love.

11.50 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R,S,HD). 13/19. A boy is sexually assaulted.

12.05 Mercury Prize Sessions (S). 12.50 Random Acts (S). 12.55 Film: Josh (HD) (2013). Premiere. Drama, starring Aamina Sheikh. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.35 Film: Sunset Boulevard (S,HD) (1950). Drama, starring Gloria Swanson. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.30 Four Rooms (R,S,HD). 5.25 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.50 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.45 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Documentary about life in the British Overseas Territory. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quest (R,S).

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74 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 9, 2014

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The history programme heads Down Under for its biggest expedition yet, with historian and archaeologist Neil Oliver leading a local team of presenters to explore Australiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spectacular coastline.

ITV2 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

LOCKERBIE â&#x20AC;&#x201C; TERROR AT 31,000 FEET: MINUTE BY MINUTE 8pm, Channel 5

Documentary using eyewitness testimonies, archive footage and dramatic reconstructions to chart the events of the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 in December 1988, which killed 259 passengers and crew and 11 residents of the village of Lockerbie.

Sky1

FILM PICKS

COAST AUSTRALIA 9.10pm, BBC2

TOMORROW NEVER DIES 10.35pm, ITV

DRAGONFLY 11.50pm, BBC1

A widowed doctor is disturbed by strange events and becomes convinced his dead wife is trying to contact him. Supernatural drama, with Kevin Costner.

James Bond battles to stop a media mogulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan to start a war between Britain and China. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan.

GOLD

Sky Sports 1

9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

6.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Stop Me Now (R,S). 7.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Cameron becomes the music director at school.

8.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 9.00 Bewitched. 10.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

American Pie, 10pm

The Tomorrow People, 9pm

24: Live Another Day, 9pm

Blackadder the Third, 9.40pm

Live Speedway, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 10/40. Lucy from Surrey hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 17/17. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 20/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 12/22. With the guest voice of Britney Spears.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 6/7. The trio buys a car.

6.00 Boots â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; All (HD). Super League review.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Unlikely insurance claims. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Featuring a dog with a lightsaber.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Jason reveals why he cannot return home. 7.30 Youngers (S,HD). 2/8. Davina takes a job at a local gym.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 20/22. Marge loses all memory of Homer. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 14/21. With the voices of â&#x20AC;&#x2122;N Sync.

7.00 Open All Hours (S). 5/6. Arkwright discovers he has a love rival. 7.40 Open All Hours (S). 6/6. Granville changes his image.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1/24. Alan injures himself falling from the roof. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2/24. Jake gets into trouble at school.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 14/24. Marshall delivers a devastating blow. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 15/24. Sheldon and Amy take a train ride to Napa Valley.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/22. Three Halloweenthemed tales. 8.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 3/22. Marge is forced to replace the family car.

8.20 Porridge (S). 5/6. Fletch tries to shirk his duties.

7.00 Football Gold (S). 7.15 Football League Gold (S,HD). Bolton Wanderers v Watford. 7.30 Live Elite League Speedway (HD). Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lynn Stars v Swindon Robins. Coverage of the top-flight meeting at the Norfolk Arena.

9.00 Through the Keyhole (R,S,HD). 6/6. Keith Lemon visits three mystery homes and challenges this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s panel â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Simon Gregson, Mollie King and Dave Berry â&#x20AC;&#x201C; to guess the identities of the occupants.

9.00 The Tomorrow People (S). 19/22. Stephen explores a possible truce with Ultra, but Cara sends Russell to meet with the Founder. Meanwhile, Jedikiah goes on the run in a bid to prevent Ultra discovering his secret.

9.00 24: Live Another Day (S,HD). 3/12. Kate defies orders to continue her hunt for Jack, the president addresses the British parliament, and Margot proves she is willing to make any sacrifice if it furthers her mission.

9.00 Not Going Out (S). 3/6. Lee pretends to be Tim. 9.40 Blackadder the Third (S). 1/6. The new prime minister plots to bankrupt the Prince Regent.

10.20 Blackadder the Third 10.00 Storm City (R,S,HD). 10.00 American Pie (S,HD) 10.00 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). (S). 3/6. Edmund gets 4/4. Documentary in (1999). Four teenage 4/6. Alex Zane and his caught up in the French which Ben Fogle boys make a pact to lose talking computer Revolution. explores the devastating their virginity before showcase 50 videos impact of extreme the high-school prom, found online that weather. In the final but cause huge feature a range of programme, he discovers embarrassment in the bizarre stunts, including how earthquakes wreak process. Comedy, an unorthodox way of so much havoc. Last in starring Jason Biggs. eating a tomato. the series. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 10.00 Premier League Review (HD). 11.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 12.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 1.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 2.00 Premier League Review (HD). 3.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club. 4.30 Premier League Review (HD). 5.30 Rise as One (HD).

9.30 Rise as One (HD). The story of the Zambian national football team.

10.00 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Story? (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a discussion show focusing on recent sports developments.

11.55 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1/24. Alan injures himself falling from the roof.

11.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 6/11. Tensions are exposed during a game of netball.

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 8/24. A naval seaman and an arms dealer are found dead.

11.00 Harry Enfield and Chums (S). 5/6. Comedy sketches. 11.40 Harry Enfield and Chums (S). 6/6. Kevin and Perry discover the opposite sex.

11.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.30 Elite League Speedway (HD). Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lynn Stars v Swindon Robins.

12.25 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 12.55 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). With guest panellists Amy Childs, Kian Egan, Brian Dowling and Tiffany Stevenson. 1.35 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). 2.15 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 12.35 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 1.05 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 1.40 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.05 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 2.55 Being Erica (R,S,HD). 3.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). Sam investigates al-Qaeda activity in Sudan. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S).

12.20 Porridge (S). Fletch tries to shirk his duties. 1.00 Harry Enfield and Chums (S). Comedy sketches. 1.30 Harry Enfield and Chums (S). Kevin and Perry discover the opposite sex. 2.00 Joanna Page: Sitcom Does Romance. The Gavin & Stacey star celebrates great sitcom love stories. 3.00 Close

1.30 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Story? (HD). Discussion show focusing on recent sports developments. 2.30 Rise as One (HD). 3.00 Football League Gold. 3.15 Football Gold. 3.30 Elite League Speedway (HD). Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lynn Stars v Swindon Robins. 5.30 Football Gold. 5.45 Football Gold.

!! "

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). Jeremy Clarkson testdrives the Skoda Yeti. 8.00 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). Nev encourages his employees to write some poetry. 9.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents (R,S). Two young adults travel to the Cyprus. 10.00 Orphan Black (S,HD). Sarah is reunited with an old flame. 10.45 Family Guy (R,S). The Griffinsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; house becomes haunted. 11.10 Family Guy (R,S). 11.30 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 11.55 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.15 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 12.45 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 2.30 Barely Legal Drivers (R,S,HD). 3.30 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD) 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). With Michael Portillo. 8.00 Lost Cities of the Ancients (R,HD). The Lambayeque civilisation in Peru. 9.00 The Damned United (HD) (2009). Fact-based drama, starring Michael Sheen. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.30 Alex Higgins: The Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Champion (R,HD). The life of the two-time world snooker champion. 11.30 Parks and Recreation (R). 11.55 Parks and Recreation (R). 12.15 Byzantium: A Tale of Three Cities (R,HD). 1.15 Lost Cities of the Ancients (R,HD). 2.15 Alex Higgins: The Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Champion (R,HD). 3.15 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD).

WEDNESDAY May 14

!- + " ! $ * &

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from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 75

TV PICKS

WANTED: A FAMILY OF MY OWN 9pm, ITV

Nicky Campbell meets foster carers who are looking after a baby with hearing difficulties, and a couple hoping to adopt after a tragic loss.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Fake Britain (R,S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Caught Red Handed (R,S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 The Link (S,HD). 3.00 Countdown to Chelsea (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

POSH PAWN 8pm, Channel 4

A man hopes to raise money from a classic car collection to avoid losing his mansion, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s another of his possessions that catches the attention of Prestige Pawnbrokers boss James Constantinou. A young drummer brings in a silver elephant given to him by his grandparents, planning to cash in and set up a recording studio.

BBC2

7.50 First Time on the Front Line (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone (R,S). 10.35 HARDtalk (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Instant Restaurant (R,S). 1.45 One Man and His Campervan (R,S,HD). 2.15 The Pallisers (R,S,HD). 3.05 Coast (S,HD). 3.45 Great British Garden Revival (R,S,HD). 4.45 Raymond Blancâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen Secrets (R,S,HD). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

THE FOOD INSPECTORS 8pm, BBC1

Matt Allwright, Chris Hollins and Gaby Roslin lift the lid on Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s food and food preparation, comparing different icecreams and testing supermarkets for bacteria.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S,HD). 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S,HD). 5.00 The Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady Show (S,HD).

TRAUMA DOCTORS: EVERY SECOND COUNTS 9pm, Channel 5

The return of the documentary following of a team of doctors diagnosing and treating patients at the Royal London Hospital in the East End. In the first edition, trauma doctor Gareth Davies is called out to tend to a 28-yearold fitness instructor who has been stabbed.

Channel 4

7.10 3rd Rock from the Sun (R,S). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.55 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 10.55 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 11.55 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Coverage of the second day of the Dante Festival at York. 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 DIY Dummies (R,S,HD). Al Murray celebrates home-improvement disasters. 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Jane Doe: The Wrong Face (S) (2005). Crime thriller, starring Lea Thompson. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Matt agrees to pose nude for Laurenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s art class.

The Best of The Sarah â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady: For the â&#x20AC;Ś 8.30pm

Ramsayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

Person of Interest, 10pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD).

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S). By the Liberal Democrats. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 17/25. Lisa babysits Bart. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Jason reveals why he cannot return home to Hollyoaks.

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 2/8. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament. By the Liberal Democrats.

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topical stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Shirley comes under fire, so Mick steps in to defend his sister. Followed by Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 132/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 4/20. Michael Aspel and Una Stubbs search for heirlooms in Norfolk. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 29/45. The North East chefs prepare desserts.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charity and Moiraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wedding days arrive. 7.30 How Bad Is Your Driving?: Tonight (S,HD). The care and consideration shown by the motorists of today.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Dog handler Glenn is given a crash course in marine rescue when he answers an emergency distress call. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 7.30pm

8.00 The Food Inspectors (S,HD). 1/4. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Big Allotment Challenge (S,HD). 6/6. The three pairs of finalists have to present melon and sweetcorn to the show bench, create a suspended floral design and make a gift basket full of produce. Last in the series.

8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Moira makes it to the aisle, in fear of what James might do. 8.30 Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady: For the Love of Dogs (R,S,HD). 4/7. The Battersea staff take the pets to visit the Chelsea Pensioners.

8.00 Posh Pawn (S). 5/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Beware! Cowboy Builders (S,HD). Dominic Littlewood and Gabrielle Blackman help a Leamington Spa couple whose extension on their fourbedroom detached home went badly wrong. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 MasterChef: The Finals (S,HD). 23/24. See Choices Above.

9.00 Thalidomide â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Fifty Year Fight (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Wanted: A Family of My Own (S,HD). 4/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Hestonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Great British Food (S,HD). 3/4. Heston Blumenthal seeks inspiration from the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s history of chocolatemaking to create a supersized Great Bar of Britain that pays homage to several popular treats.

9.00 Trauma Doctors: Every Second Counts (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 The Best of The Sarah Millican Television Programme: Vol 1 (R,S,HD). Part one of two. Highlights from the comedy chat showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s three series. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Billy Connollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Send Off (R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. The comedian visits a cemetery in his native Glasgow, heads to California to explore what happens when bodies are donated to medical science, and meets a dying man.

10.00 Ramsayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 4/14. Gordon Ramsay heads to Wilkinsburg in Pennsylvania, in a bid to save a struggling soulfood restaurant that resembles a dentistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s waiting room.

10.00 Person of Interest (S,HD). 19/22. Finch infiltrates a hi-tech firm after the Machine gives up the number of an executive suspected of stealing company secrets. Cal Beecher is encouraged to question Elias.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.35 Question Time (S,HD). 31/38. Former Liberal Democrat leader Paddy Ashdown and Conservative Employment Minister Esther McVey answer audience questions in Coventry. Chaired by David Dimbleby. 11.35 This Week (S). The past seven days in politics.

11.20 Watermen: A Dirty Business (R,S,HD). 4/6. The aqueduct supplying water to Manchester is shut off for the first time in 60 years.

11.35 Regional Programme (S).

11.00 The Island with Bear Grylls (R,S,HD). 2/5. The castaways seek new ways to trap wildlife.

11.00 Person of Interest (S,HD). 20/22. A heart surgeon is poisoned with polonium. 11.55 Access. Showbiz news and gossip.

12.20 Holiday Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: From Jail to Jihad? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Panorama (R,S). 12.50 Sign Zone: Vets in the Disaster Zone (R,S). 1.50 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S,HD). 4.00 The World, My Stuff and Me (R,S,HD). 4.30 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Made of Money (R,S,HD). 5.00 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Counting with Rodd (R,S,HD). 5.55 Wonders of Nature: Birds of Paradise (R,S,HD).

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 How Bad Is Your Driving?: Tonight (R,S,HD). 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 4.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences. 5.05 Rory Bremnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Great British Views (R,S,HD). The presenter travels to the Peak District.

12.00 24 Hours in A&E (R,S,HD). 12.55 Random Acts (S). 1.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic (R,S,HD). 1.55 Man vs Weird (R,S,HD). 2.50 How to Get a Council House (R,S,HD). 3.45 Unreported World (R,S,HD). 4.10 Four Rooms (R,S,HD). 5.05 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.30 Hughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 3 Good Things: Best Bites (S,HD). 5.45 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD).

12.05 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Ben Fogleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Animal Clinic (R,S,HD). Vet Paolo Silvestrini treats a kitten that cannot stop sneezing. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A property in Spennymoor, Co Durham, is overhauled. 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). English painter JMW Turner. 5.10 Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quest (R,S). 5.35 Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quest (R,S).

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Documentary about the campaign to secure compensation from the manufacturer of the drug that caused children to be born without limbs in the late 1950s and early 1960s.

ITV2 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

The contestants are sent to the Catalonia region of Spain to learn new culinary skills. They begin by cooking tapas in a local market, before meeting two of the country’s most highly regarded chefs – Christian Escriba and Carles Abellan. Both men have cooked at world-famous restaurant el Bulli.

E4 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Don’t Stop Me Now (R,S,HD). 7.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD). A dark entity is unleashed. 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Homer becomes a missionary. 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

Satellite Picks

MASTERCHEF: THE FINALS 9pm, BBC1

THALIDOMIDE – THE FIFTY YEAR FIGHT 9pm, BBC2

JONAH FROM TONGA 10pm, BBC3

INTELLIGENCE 9pm, Sky1

Gabriel and Riley head to Texas to find the source of a fatal virus – the only problem is, the man they identify as patient zero was apparently killed a year ago.

Graydon makes fun of Jonah at a break-dancing demonstration, and the school captain’s brother Kyton picks on Moses. Comedy, with Chris Lilley.

GOLD 7.00 As Time Goes By (S). 7.40 One Foot in the Grave (S). 9.00 Bewitched. 10.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Open All Hours (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 10.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 11.00 Football Gold (S). 12.00 Elite League Speedway (HD). King’s Lynn Stars v Swindon Robins. 2.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 3.00 Football Gold. 3.30 Elite League Speedway (HD). King’s Lynn Stars v Swindon Robins. 5.30 Rise as One (HD).

Celebrity Juice, 10pm

The Big Bang Theory, 6pm

Arrow, 8pm

Porridge, 8.20pm

Ringside, 6pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 40/40. Anwen from Manchester chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 22/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 22/22. Spoof behindthe-scenes special.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1/8. Foggy devotes his life to first aid.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Featuring bridesmaids behaving badly. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Jason returns home. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 8/24. Robin spends time with some excitable women.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 1/22. Bart heads to New York to find an ex-girlfriend. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 15/21.

7.00 Blackadder the Third (S). 1/6. 7.40 Blackadder the Third (S). 3/6. Edmund gets caught up in the French Revolution.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 3/24. Charlie discovers Alan has been seeing his former wife. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 4/24. Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (S,HD). 16/24. Howard is offered the chance to go back into space. 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 15/24. Robin discovers what Barney does for a living.

8.00 Arrow (S,HD). 22/23. Slade’s soldiers descend on Starling City, and the odds are stacked against Team Arrow – until Felicity takes an unexpected phone call. Thea is reunited with an old face.

8.20 Porridge (S). 6/6. Fletcher becomes an agony aunt.

7.00 Premier League World (HD). A round-up of the latest news. 7.30 FL72 Live (HD). The second leg of a League One play-off semi-final (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the fixture between the sides that finished fourth and fifth respectively.

9.00 Tom Daley Goes Global (S,HD). 6/6. The diver and Sophie spend the last leg of their journey in Morocco, exploring the city of Marrakech, and are challenged to climb the Todra Gorge. Last in the series.

9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 18/22. Gina helps Peralta find a new home. 9.30 2 Broke Girls (S,HD). 15/24. Caroline discovers a secret about Deke.

9.00 Intelligence (S,HD). 6/13. See Choices Above.

9.00 Outnumbered (S). 5/6. Pete worries he might be out of a job. 9.40 Outnumbered (S). 6/6. Pete and Sue hold a dinner party.

10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 10.00 Celebrity Juice (S,HD). 10.00 The IT Crowd (R,S). 5/6. 10.00 Revolution (R,S,HD). (S). 5/6. Edina has a cash 20/22. Truman launches 10/10. With guests Jen introduces the guys crisis. a mustard gas attack on Davina McCall, Joey to a social networking Miles and Monroe, Essex and Michelle website. prompting them to team Keegan. Last in the 10.30 The IT Crowd (R,S). 6/6. up against their common series. Reynholm Industries enemy, while Aaron 10.50 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). 3/6. unveils a nude calendar. witnesses the full force Topical comedy show, of the nanotech’s power. presented by Caroline Flack.

10.00 Rise as One (HD). The famous football match between soldiers during the First World War. 10.30 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine, including highlights of recent bouts and interviews with the stars.

11.00 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 11.35 Dads (S,HD). 17/19. Alex Zane presents a Camilla forces everyone countdown of 50 to give up drinking. internet mash-ups.

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 10/24. Deeks shoots and kills an unarmed man.

11.00 Absolutely Fabulous (S). 6/6. Patsy and Edina experience rebirth. 11.40 Porridge (S). 6/6. Fletcher becomes an agony aunt.

11.30 Premier League World (HD). A round-up of the latest news.

12.00 Dads (S,HD). Crawford moves out. 12.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.25 Mom (R,S,HD). 1.50 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.10 Rizzle Kicks – The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). The team hunts down a device that could destroy Los Angeles. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). The crew pursues a bomber. 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 Outnumbered (S). Pete worries he might be out of a job. 1.00 Outnumbered (S). Pete and Sue hold a dinner party. 1.30 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edina has a cash crisis. 2.00 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Patsy and Edina experience rebirth. 2.30 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.00 Close

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.00 Premier League Darts (HD). Round 15 from Brighton. 4.00 Darts Gold (HD). 4.15 Darts Gold (S,HD). 4.30 Darts Gold (S,HD). 4.45 Darts Gold (S,HD). 5.00 Darts Gold (S,HD). 5.15 Darts Gold (S,HD). 5.30 Darts Gold (HD). 5.45 Darts Gold (S,HD).

12.05 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 12.35 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 1.00 Revenge (R,S,HD). Emily and Jack make plans for another takedown. 2.00 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2.25 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2.50 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 3.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). Amanda moves in with Betty.

BBC3

7.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). Oliver and Charles take their classes on school trips. 8.00 Barely Legal Drivers (R,S,HD). A dancer makes a move to university. 9.00 Tyger Takes on Porn (S,HD). New series. Tyger DrewHoney examines issues affecting young people in Britain. 10.00 Jonah from Tonga (S,HD). See Choices Above. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Shirley comes under fire, so Mick steps in to defend his sister. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Tyger Takes on Porn (R,S,HD). 1.30 Jonah from Tonga (R,S,HD). 2.00 In the Flesh (R,S). 3.00 Tyger Takes on Porn (R)

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 The Sky at Night (R,HD). 8.00 Orbit: Earth’s Extraordinary Journey (R,HD). Earth’s journey around the sun from the March equinox to the end of June. Last in the series. 9.00 The First Georgians: The German Kings Who Made Britain (HD). How George II turned Britain into a global superpower. Last in the series. 10.00 Ripping Yarns (R). 10.30 Some Scousers with Jokes (R,HD). 11.00 Horizon: The Core (R,HD). 12.00 Hinterland (R,HD). 1.35 The Sky at Night (R,HD). 2.05 Britain on Film: This Sceptred Isle (R). 2.35 The First Georgians: The German Kings Who Made Britain (R,HD).

THURSDAY May 15

from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 77

TV PICKS

MASTERCHEF: THE FINALS 8.30pm, BBC1

GOGGLEBOX 9pm, Channel 4

The search for the next MasterChef Champion reaches its climax, with the competitors producing the three courses of food they hope will win the title.

BBC1

Posh tipplers Steph and Dom, hairdressers Christopher and Stephen and other favourites share their opinions on what they have been watching during the week. The programme captures their instant reactions and lively â&#x20AC;&#x201C; sometimes emotional â&#x20AC;&#x201C; discussions from the comfort of their own sofas.

BBC2

7.50 First Time on the Front Line (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone: (R,S). 10.35 The Travel Show (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Instant Restaurant (R,S). 1.45 One Man and His Campervan (R,S,HD). 2.15 The Pallisers (R,S,HD). 3.05 Coast (S,HD). 3.45 Great British Garden Revival (R,S,HD). 4.45 Raymond Blancâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen Secrets (R,S,HD). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

THE STORY OF WOMEN AND ART 9pm, BBC2

Amanda Vickery explores female creativity in Western art, uncovering stories of talented and tenacious women who overcame obstacles to fulfil their artistic ambitions.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Panellists include Andrea McLean, Shobna Gulati and Jamelia. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S,HD). 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S,HD). 5.00 The Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady Show (S,HD).

ICE ROAD TRUCKERS 8pm, Channel 5

The drivers undertake their final deliveries, with Jack keen to fend off a confident Darrellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s challenge for his load-count title. Meanwhile, Alex takes desperate measures when the sun melts the ice beneath his wheels, and Ray tries to squeeze in one more run. Last in the series.

Channel 4

7.10 3rd Rock from the Sun (R,S). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.55 Frasier (R,S). 9.55 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 10.55 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 11.55 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Coverage of the third day of the Dante Festival at York. 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 12.40 Ben Fogleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Animal Clinic (R,S,HD). Vet Paolo Silvestrini treats a kitten that cannot stop sneezing. 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Mystery Woman: Redemption (S) (2006). Whodunit, starring Kellie Martin. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.55 Access. 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 3/8. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament. On behalf of the Labour Party.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Priya panics when her waters break. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Maria confesses to Audrey she is in love with Tyrone.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.35 Unreported World (S). 6/8. A brutal neighbourhood conflict in the Lebanese city of Tripoli.

7.00 Bloody Tales of the Tower (S,HD). The execution of Henry VIIIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wives Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

NCIS: Los Angeles, 10pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/25. Alcohol is outlawed in Springfield. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Jason returns home.

â&#x2013;ź

Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD, 8pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S). By the Labour Party. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

â&#x2013;ź

Coronation Street, 7.30pm

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 133/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 5/20. Alison Steadman and Larry Lamb search for bargains in Sussex. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 30/45. The two remaining North East chefs prepare their entire menus.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Chris Evans and Alex Jones. 7.30 A Question of Sport (R,S,HD). With Katherine Grainger and Anthony Ogogo. Followed by Regional News. 8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Peter is given some unexpected news but tries to keep it from Ian. 8.30 MasterChef: The Finals (S,HD). 24/24. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Minster (S). 2/3. The stone carvers must replace a mysterious weathered statue. 8.30 Gardenersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; World (S,HD). 10/31. Sophie Raworth reveals why gardens are so important to her.

8.00 Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Maria tells Tyrone that she has fallen for him.

8.00 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (S,HD). 20/22. Just when thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nobody left to trust, Agent Maria Hill returns to team up with Coulson as SHIELD falls apart around them. With Cobie Smulders and Adrian Pasdar.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.30 Have I Got News for You (S,HD). 7/9. Jo Brand hosts the quiz.

9.00 The Story of Women and Art (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Lewis (R,S,HD). 5/6. Part one of two. An elderly don is killed on the night of his release from prison, and Lewis embarks on a relationship with Hobson while investigating the case.

9.00 Gogglebox (S). 11/12. See Choices Above.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 20/24. A Navy reservist returns home to find her husband missing and her living room covered in blood. Meanwhile, Ziva insists on continuing her investigation into her fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s murder.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). 7/13. With Dawn French and Kirsten Dunst, plus music by Sam Smith.

10.00 QI (R,S,HD). 9/18. With Jo Brand, Marcus Brigstocke and Danny Baker. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

10 11

The Minster, 8pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD). By the Labour Party.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Have I Got News for You, 9.30pm

11.20 Bad Education (S,HD). 6/7. The school is plunged into financial ruin. 11.55 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. The local paper prints Lolaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scathing interview about Lucy.

11.00 Weather (S). 11.05 Later â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with Jools Holland (S,HD). 5/7. Extended edition. With Kasabian, St Vincent, Brian Eno & Karl Hyde and Natalie Merchant.

1.50 Weatherview (S). 1.55 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Film: Lone Star (S) (1996). Mystery, starring Chris Cooper. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.20 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S). Paddy Ashdown and Esther McVey answer questions in Coventry. 3.20 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

â&#x2013;ź

after

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.33 Party Election Broadcast for the English Local Elections (S). By the Conservative Party. 10.35 The World Is Not Enough (S,HD) (1999). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

12.55 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Film: Closing the Ring (S,HD) (2007). Drama, starring Shirley MacLaine. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.50 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (S). 8/15. Kylie Minogue talks about her latest album and performs her new single, and Ian McKellen discusses X-Men: Days of Future Past. Plus, Nick Grimshaw on Radio 1â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Weekend festival.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). 11/24. A Navy officer is killed at a strip club. 10.55 Bangkok Brits (S,HD). 1/3. New series. The lives of some of the 40,000 UK expats who have set up home in the Thai capital, including the first British footballer to play in the Thai Premier League.

11.05 Rude Tube (S,HD). 4/8. Alex Zane presents the top 50 internet mash-ups.

11.55 Access (R). Showbiz news and gossip.

12.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 12.30 Film: Jackass Number Two (S,HD) (2006). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.05 Random Acts (S). 2.10 Southland (S,HD). 2.55 Desperate Housewives (R,S,HD). 3.40 Four Rooms (R,S,HD). 4.35 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.10 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.25 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.40 The Hoobs (R,S).

12.05 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (R,S,HD). A cancer survivor returns for her test results. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A cluttered B&B on the Norfolk coast. 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). Lincoln and Wells cathedrals. 5.10 Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quest (R,S). Guyanaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s giant otters. 5.35 Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quest (R,S).

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78 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 9, 2014

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A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN 9.30pm, Sky1

The family receives a dancing lesson with the Sugar Dandies in the Blackpool Tower Ballroom and feeds the tigers in the nearby zoo, before heading to Morecambe.

ITV2 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 5.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

Former cricketer Steve Harmison and Mock the Week host Dara O Briain join team captains Jamie Redknapp and Andrew Flintoff on the comedy sports quiz, hosted by James Corden. Comedian John Bishop and TV presenter Georgie Thompson join them as regular panellists.

Sky1 6.00 Don’t Stop Me Now (R,S,HD). 7.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD). The team gets trapped while fleeing from the Wraith. 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

WEEKEND ESCAPES WITH WARWICK DAVIS 8pm, ITV

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH 10.35pm, ITV

JACKASS NUMBER TWO 12.30am, Channel 4

James Bond is assigned to protect an oil heiress from an infamous terrorist. Spy adventure, with Pierce Brosnan and Sophie Marceau.

GOLD 8.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 9.00 Bewitched. 10.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

The death-defying gang performs a new batch of outrageous stunts. Comedy sequel, starring Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera and Steve-O.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 10.00 Ringside (HD). 11.00 Sporting Greats (S). 12.00 Premier League Darts (HD). Round 15 from Brighton. 3.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). The second leg of a League One play-off semi-final. 4.30 Football League Gold (HD). 5.30 Champions League Weekly (HD). A look ahead to the final.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin, 9pm

8 Out of 10 Cats, 11,15pm

Star-Crossed, 8pm

The Royle Family, 9pm

The Fantasy Football ... 6pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 26/40. A woman from Southampton takes part in the matchmaking show.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 24/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/22.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 3/8. Foggy sees a business opportunity.

6.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). A discussion on key fantasy football issues.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Harry Hill narrates camcorder calamities. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Harry Hill narrates camcorder calamities.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sinead’s lies begin to catch up with her. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 9/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 16/22. Moe undergoes plastic surgery. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 16/21. A bully torments Lisa.

7.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1/7. Rodney falls for a policewoman. 7.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2/7. Del tries to sell a pair of antique urns.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 5/24. Jake seeks advice about a girl at school. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 6/24. Charlie dates a Satan worshipper.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 15/24. Robin discovers what Barney does for a living. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 16/24. Howard is offered the chance to go back into space.

8.00 Star-Crossed (S,HD). 7/13. Emery puts her relationship with Roman on hold when Grayson comes looking for comfort.

8.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3/7. Del gets the gambling habit.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). The second leg of a League Two play-off semi-final (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the fixture between the sides that finished fourth and seventh respectively.

9.00 The 40 Year-Old Virgin (S,HD) (2005). A man who has never had sex is set up on a series of dates, only to fall for a woman who does not want a physical relationship. Comedy, starring Steve Carell and Catherine Keener. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

9.00 The Dilemma (S,HD) (2011). A man realises his best friend’s wife is having an affair, but tries to gather proof before revealing all. Comedy drama, with Vince Vaughn, Kevin James and Winona Ryder. ●●●

9.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 18/24. The adults take a trip to Las Vegas. 9.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 4/12. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Royle Family (S). 1/6. Dave and Denise have important news. 9.40 The Royle Family (S). 2/6. The relatives gather for Sunday lunch.

10.20 The Royle Family (S). 10.00 Intelligence (R,S,HD). 3/6. The family argues 6/13. Gabriel and Riley over a television head to Texas to find the programme. source of a fatal virus – the only problem is, the man they identify as patient zero was apparently killed a year ago.

10.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). John Fendley and Paul Merson present a discussion on key fantasy football issues, as well as the weekend’s Premier League matches.

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel (R,S). 7.20 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). 8.10 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). 9.00 Booze, Bar Crawls and Bulgaria: Stacey Dooley Investigates (R,S,HD). The presenter investigates the party scene in Sunny Beach, Bulgaria. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Peter is given some news. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.05 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 1.15 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 1.45 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.15 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad (R,S,HD). 2.45 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 3.45 Kerry (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. The day’s leading stories. 7.30 BBC Young Musician of the Year 2014 (HD). Five teenage performers specialising in brass compete to be crowned the UK’s most talented classical musician, this week with the last-remaining semi-final place at stake. 9.00 The Doors: The Story of LA Woman (R). The making of the 1971 album. 10.00 Kings of Rock ’n’ Roll (R). 11.00 Rock ’n’ Roll Britannia (R). Examining British rock ’n’ roll’s foundations. 12.00 Classic Albums (R). 12.50 The Doors: The Story of LA Woman (R). 1.50 Kings of Rock ’n’ Roll (R). 2.55 Rock ’n’ Roll Britannia (R).

FRIDAY May 16

11.20 Take Me Out (R,S,HD). 11.15 8 Out of 10 Cats 11.00 Early Doors (S). 5/6. 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.30 Champions League 5/8. A guitar teacher, a Joan and Eddie celebrate (R,S,HD). 5/10. (R,S,HD). 12/24. Nell goes Weekly (HD). A look 999 call operator, a choir 11.50 Friday Night Dinner their anniversary. undercover at the ahead to the final. leader and a butcher Department of Defence. 11.40 Early Doors (S). 6/6. (R,S,HD). 2/7. Grandma take part. Melanie meets her real introduces the family to father. her new boyfriend. 12.35 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Jake seeks advice about a girl at school. 1.05 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Charlie dates a Satan worshipper. 1.30 Mom (R,S,HD). 1.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.20 The Midnight Beast (R,S,HD). 12.50 The Work Experience (R,S,HD). 1.25 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.25 Balls of Steel Australia (R,S). 2.55 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,S,HD). 3.20 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.15 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). A vehicle transporting Jada Khaled is ambushed. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). A dead body is found in the jungle. 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Royle Family (S). Dave and Denise have important news. 1.00 The Royle Family (S). The relatives gather for Sunday lunch. 1.30 The Royle Family (S). The family argues over a television programme. 2.00 Early Doors (S). 2.30 Early Doors (S). 3.00 Close

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). A discussion on key fantasy football issues. 2.30 Champions League Weekly (HD). 3.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). A discussion on key fantasy football issues. 5.30 Champions League Weekly (HD).

from Friday, May 9, 2014

WEEKEND 79