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FROM FRIDAY, MAY 2, 2014 ISSUE 102

BANKSY PLAY MAKES A TIMELY RETuRN to Bristol THE THEKLA TURNS 30 IN STYLE

THE ART OF MAKING TEA

FRANK SKINNER SUITS UP

CHARITY SHOP TREASURES


Hi there.

How’s your week been? So last week you got a taste of our new design to celebrate the 101st issue – now here’s the full shebang. It’s a brand new look but it’s still your essential guide to what to do with your time and money in Bristol. To get things started, here’s 12 ideas to help you make the most of the weekend and the week ahead.

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IF YOU GO SHOPPING ST PETER’S HOSPICE

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IF YOU’RE GOING OUT BEAUTIFUL BLUEBELLS

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IF YOU EAT OUT MANNA

■ Pick up a bargain and raise money for a good local cause at the same time at your nearest St Peter’s Hospice shop, where affordable fashions are on offer to suit all sartorial tastes.

■ Bluebells bobbing their heads in woods in springtime... all very Wordsworth and cliched. But also really rather pretty and well worth looking out for if the weather holds out.

■ With dishes influenced by Italy, Spain and the Middle East, this quality neighbourhood restaurant is justifiably packed and buzzy with locals most nights of the week.

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28 I F Y O U W A N T T O P A R T Y

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■ Celebrate at the Thekla as it marks 30 years as one of the city’s best music venues, with a line-up including Bristol band The Ramona Flowers.

■ New York trio De La Soul burst onto the hip hop scene in 1989 and are bringing their early classics and new work to the O2 Academy.

GOING ON HOLIDAY? HEAD TO FRANCE

■ Take a family holiday to the CharenteMaritime region in the south of France and stay in a very well equipped siblu holiday village.

2 INDEX ● ● ● ● ●

THEKLA’S 30TH BIRTHDAY

from Friday, March 7, 2014

IF YOU SEE ONE GIG DE LA SOUL


MAKE CONTACT

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EDITORIAL: Rachael Sugden, 0117 934 3338, rachael.sugden@b-nm.co.uk ADVERTISING: Paul Kimberley, 0117 934 3780, paul.kimberley@b-nm.co.uk LEAFLET INSERTS: Simon Butler, 0117 934 3741, simon.butler@b-nm.co.uk Printed in Great Britain by Precision Colour Printing

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IF YOU GO CLUBBING BAMBI LEGS

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IF YOU SEE ONE FILM BAD NEIGHBOURS

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IF YOU LOVE ART PAUL OZ

■ A team of Bristol party promoters are bringing the festival experience indoors with Bambi Legs – there’s live music and DJs, plus art, food and walkabout performers.

■ Zac Efron with his shirt off? Yes please. Any other reason to watch this film? Well, yes, if you have a penchant for a potty-mouthed Seth Rogen comedy. But really, it’s all about the torso.

■ The renowned Pop artist who creates vast paintings and animal skull sculptures returns to the View Art Gallery after two sell-out appearances in group shows last year.

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58 I F Y O U R E A D O N E B O O K

65 I F Y O U ’ R E S T A Y I N G I N

■ An intriguing, funny and poignant account of Bristol author Ira Rainey’s long-distance running experience.

■ National Treasure Barlow takes James Corden on a road trip through his musical and personal history in this one-off documentary.

IF YOU LOVE COMEDY FRANK SKINNER

■ Frank has smartened up his act of late, with less of the laddism of his youth – echoed by the name of his new show, Man in a Suit.

F R O M FAT M A N TO G R E E N M A N

WATCH GARY BARLOW

from Friday, March 7, 2014

●●●●● INDEX 3


4 BUY IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 2, 2014


COMPETITION WIN A FREE SET OF LINGERIE COURTESY OF TRIUMPH

Pick up a bargain for St Peter’s St Peter’s Hospice shops are packed full of bargains from the High Street and famous designers, making them a fashionable and purse-friendly way to update your wardrobe, while also raising vital funds for a local charity, writes Natalie Banyard.

W

e Bristolians love our fashion – but we like to bag a bargain, too, which is why one local charity is demonstrating how summer chic can be achieved on a budget. With reports that 2014 is set to be a scorcher, now is the perfect time to update your wardrobe with some of the latest spring/summer trends. But it doesn’t need to cost the earth – you can get the latest look at a fraction of the price and support your local charity at St Peter’s Hospice shops. Stocking pre-loved items from French Connection, Topshop, Phase Eight and Christian Dior, to name just a few, you’ll be surprised what you might find in one of the 47 St Peter’s Hospice shops across the city. Janet Loud, head of shops for St Peter’s Hospice, says: “As Weekend readers know, Bristol is filled with great high street shops and some lovely independent boutiques, but this summer we’re really encouraging people to step out of their comfort zones and take a look at what is available in their local St Peter’s Hospice shop. “Each of the 47 shops in Bristol has its own personality and you can really have some fun looking around and digging out unique items. “Each piece is in perfect condition and there really are some true gems, so give it a go!” From lightweight spring jackets and floral print dresses to summer sandals and pretty blouses, shoppers are spoiled for choice. And there’s something for the boys, too, with shirts, shorts, sandals and accessories all in store at less than half the price of most retailers. Janet adds: “With blossom on the trees and warmer days, this is a great time to update your wardrobe with a few key items or even give it a complete makeover.

“However, keeping up with the latest styles can be expensive so we’re encouraging people to visit St Peter’s Hospice shops where we’ve got a fantastic range of spring and summer wear at amazing prices. “It’s great to be able to add some colour to outfits with a bright jacket or a stunning pair of shoes. There are some wonderful prints around and we have loads of menswear too. “With a wide selection of beautiful dresses and elegant heels, it’s easy to get a stylish look for a wedding or summer party for less than £20. “Updating your wardrobe at St Peter’s Hospice makes great sense – you’ll have a fab new look, more money in your purse and you’ll be supporting Bristol’s adult hospice at the same time.” As Bristol’s only adult hospice, St Peter’s cares for more than 2,670 patients each year, as well as supporting family members. All services are provided free of charge but this care costs about £18,000 a day. For about £14,000 of that, the hospice relies on gifts in wills, kind donations and funds generated by the hospice shops. Janet is also keen to encourage people to donate any quality clothes that they no longer want. “We appreciate all the wonderful donations of items that we receive and all the clothes we put out on our rails are great quality. If you’re sorting out your wardrobe, please do remember to drop your pre-loved items at one of our shops.” With shops in Bedminster, Backwell, Knowle, Kingswood, Keynsham, Yate, Horfield, Long Ashton, Chipping Sodbury, Whitchurch, Hanham and Bristol City Centre, as well as many others, you will never be far from your nearest shop. ■ To find your nearest St Peter’s Hospice shop visit www.stpetershospice.org.uk.

D

o you know your bra size? You might think so, but a recent study of 10,000 women by Triumph found that 76 per cent of women are wearing the wrong bra size. Launching this Friday, May 9, in the John Lewis lingerie department, Triumph will be running a fitting event for two days, inviting women to pop into the store from 10am for a complementary bra fitting including a free gift from the brand’s lingerie experts. There will also be 20 per cent off for the duration of the event. To celebrate the event, Triumph is giving one lucky reader the chance to win £200 worth of lingerie. The heart of the campaign is all about fit and comfort, something which can be found in the perfect set of Triumph lingerie. To enter, simply email your name, address, postcode and contact details to promotionsep@bepp.co.uk. Mark the subject of your email as Triumph. All entries must be received by noon on Friday, May 9.

■ Terms and conditions: The winner will be the first name drawn from all eligible entries. Prize has to be redeemed within two months of winning. Must be made via an appointment managed by Havas PR on behalf of Triumph. Winner must be fitted at the John Lewis Bristol store. Triumph Lingerie up to the value of £200 must be purchased at the one fitting. Cannot be exchanged for cash alternative. Prize is for one individual only. Standard Local World terms and conditions apply, for a full list visit www.bristolpost.co.uk/houserules

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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Hit a fashion high note in the festival crowd

Festivals have become living catwalks for fashion-conscious music fans – and ticket-holders will no doubt be planning their outfits now rather than risk sartorial crisis in their tents.

1 Keep the sun off your head with this cute crochet hat with daisy chain – let’s just hope the sun does shine. Crochet hat, Primark, £4 2 Lip salve, money, sunglasses, site map... keep your festival essentials close at hand with this tasselled cross-body bag. Gwen festival mini pouch, Accessorize, £19 3 Of course we’re all praying the sun will shine but let’s be honest, rain is inevitable at some point. Stay dry and stylish with this flamingo-print mac. H! By Henry Holland mac, Debenhams, £45 4 Perfect with sundresses, shorts and jeans on cooler evenings, these gorgeous sandals will add a summery feel to any festival outfit. Bright beaded sandal, Monsoon, £20 5 This pretty frock is a super-flattering cut and embellished enough to need no other accessories to make it sing. Printed smock dress, TU, £20 6 Old-school rock T-shirts never fail to impress a fashionable festival crowd. Make sure you know the band emblazoned on your chest, though, or risk an awkward moment if you bump into a true super-fan in the crowd. Ramones T-shirt, Primark, £8

6 BUY IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 2, 2014


ADVERTISING FEATURE

Whatever your needs we have a fully comprehensive solution

W

ith five showrooms throughout the region and its main office and central warehouse in Clevedon, Timbercraft has much to offer customers from Bristol and beyond. Through the network of showrooms we offer a superb range of kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms, with a strong emphasis on quality. Above all else, our fitting service is fully comprehensive, so that clients know they will only ever need to deal with one company to resolve all issues regarding their project. We have built up a robust system of checking each order to minimise errors and a superior level of site supervision so that every job is thoroughly surveyed before any orders are placed for goods. For each project there is a designated installer overseen by an experienced project manager and backed by in-house customer services staff.

home to take a detailed brief of your intended project. Measurements, often supported by photographs, will be taken of the existing space, which are kept on file so the designers can accurately plan your updated room. You will then be invited back to one of the showrooms, where the designer will present ideas to you in detail, using full-colour computerised imagery which means you will be able to “see” the finished product. This is your opportunity to fine tune the details, so that a scheme can be finalised which fulfils all your requirements. At this juncture the designer will be able to discuss costs in some detail with you and different options can be examined to achieve what you want at a suitable price. At no time will you be pressurised to go ahead with something you are not entirely happy with.

SHOWROOMS

INSTALLATION

If you are looking to replace your kitchen, bathroom or bedroom, then pay us a visit. The showrooms are all designed with the customer in mind and, where possible, we have set up “rooms” to simulate a real kitchen, bathroom or bedroom. Our showroom-based specialist designers are highly trained and have a wealth of experience, so they will make it easy for you to envisage your own home as it could be in the future. You will find the show rooms very relaxing places, with helpful, experienced staff who allow visitors to browse in peace.

For many years now we have offered a fully comprehensive installation service in contrast to many of our competitors, who are only set up to handle the core installation work. Long ago we came to recognise that people would prefer to deal with one company, who can do all the work, so that they do not have to deal individually with tradesmen, whose work schedules may be difficult to co-ordinate. Very often we come across kitchens or bathrooms, where a small amount of building work is required, for example a wall needs removing or an area needs plastering. This is often inconvenient as this work must be completed before the main installation works can start. We spend a long time scheduling each project, so that, wherever possible, one job can

DESIGN SERVICE Our designer’s advice to you will be entirely free. Our method of operation is to visit your

from Friday, May 2, 2014

move seamlessly to the next, with absolutely minimal disruption. We also offer a comprehensive decorating and tiling service to ensure that all projects can be supervised and completed by us. When customers decide to proceed with us, we always give them a schedule for the week the work will commence. Shortly after placing an order, one of our project managers will visit your home to run through the job with you. Just before the work is due to proceed, a customer services manager contacts you to confirm the start time. The customer service manager is your main point of contact and will be in regular contact throughout the project. One of our project managers will oversee the work. They are all experienced installers and are ultimately responsible for ensuring that our very high standards are maintained. Whatever your needs – a kitchen, bedroom or bathroom – Timbercraft can provide the answers with care and professionalism.

FACTFILE SHOWROOMS Clevedon: 21-25 Alexandra Rd; tel. 01275 872431. Keynsham: 29 High Street; tel. 0117 986 1896. Patchway: 69 Gloucester Rd; tel. 0117 904 6352. Thornbury: 44 High Street; tel. 01454 281002. Wells: Units 3-4 Jocelyn Drive; tel. 01749 678140. Web: www.timbercraft.co.uk. Email: sales@timbercraft.co.uk. Opening times: Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5pm; Saturday, 10am to 4pm.

●●●●● ADVERTISING FEATURE 7


Pack a picnic for a feast in the sunshine

Head outdoors (if the weather allows) for food al fresco with these charming and practical picnic essentials.

1 Lay it out for a stylish picnic or throw it over your shoulders on a chilly evening outside – this blanket is a wise purchase. Safari check blanket, Cath Kidston, £35 2 Dripping in retro charm, this super-cute flask will be a charming addition to your picnic set. Dress Up Doll flask and cup, dotcomgiftshop, £12.95 3 Parents may complain about force-feeding dinner to fussy youngsters but who could resist an outdoor feast served on these monster plates? Ginger Ray Monster Madness paper plates, John Lewis, £2.99 for eight. 4 As useful for packed lunches in the office as picnics in the park; just fill, stack and go. Tiffin box, M&S, £18 5 You need something to carry all the kit in and what better than a truly traditional wicker hamper with all the essentials inside? Wicker picnic basket, M&S, £49.50 6 Little fingers will make light work of this pretty cutlery set at the picnic – and it will work just as well at playtime for a tea party with dolly and teddy. Memory Lane cutlery set, Sainsbury’s, £3

8 BUY IT ● ● ● ● ●

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 9


Brew a cup of healing leaves Kate Edser talks to Bristol-based tea importer, Anne Sheekey, who is on a mission to follow her Chinese ancestors in promoting tea for health, not just as a soothing hot drink

T

ea is a warming, comforting, everyday drink that’s great in a crisis and a perfect accompaniment to cake. At least, that’s the Western world’s viewpoint. To the Chinese, it’s more about health and wellbeing, which is a message Bristol tea company ATTIC is pushing – and for good reason. ATTIC co-founder Anne Sheekey, who’s half Chinese, explains: “For me, tea is the best plant for human health. It is full of nutrients that our body craves such as amino acids, antioxidants, trace elements, vitamins and minerals, and it has no toxicity. “We are trying to encourage the way the Chinese have used tea as a health drink for millennia. In China tea is huge, but here we’ve been slightly hoodwinked into drinking rubbish tea! “Tea here has got better, but I think the tea

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bag has a lot to answer for. It has taken away the use of tea as a tonic and it has encouraged our demand for convenience and that takes away the beauty of using the natural world as a means to find balance in life. “Black tea [in ‘everyday’ tea bags] is the right tea for people to use as a ‘come and sit down, everything will be all right’ drink and it’s an appropriate tea for our culture because it is calming, but most people don’t brew it for long enough. “Tea has a little bit of caffeine in it, and a little bit of caffeine is actually good for the body because it helps with absorption, which is why it’s in things like headache tablets. But if you only brew tea for a minute, all you’re getting out is the caffeine. It needs to steep for three or four minutes.” ATTIC (an acronym for All The Tea In China) was set up by Anne and her partner, Ric Vaughan-Davies, in 2006 after she took a trip to

from Friday, May 2, 2014

China. Through a trusted supplier there, ATTIC now sells all five “pure” teas (black, white, green, oolong and pu’erh). All tea comes from the same plant, it’s the production process that creates the differing colours and flavours. Anne explains: “With green tea, all the enzymes in the leaf are killed with heat so it never oxidises, but black tea is fully oxidised, which is what produces the brown colour. Oolong sits in between. “White tea is made from very young leaves; it is delicate, light and quite sweet, but it is the purest tea – just the buds before it has become green tea. “Pu’erh tea comes wrapped in little cakes. It’s been fermented in underground in caves and good bacteria come though it in the composing process. “It’s the only tea that gets better with age and the Chinese will pay thousands for it.” ATTIC also sells a range of ten “clinic” teas,


■ ATTIC teas are 100 per cent natural, calorie free, low in caffeine and packaged in re-sealable bags. The “Pure” tea range represents the best of China tea, introducing one of each of the five types: black, white, green, oolong and pu’erh. Each type tea comes from the same plant. The variation comes through differing production techniques. ATTIC also has a ten-strong “Clinic” range containing tea and herbs: Sleep, Focus, Digestion, Uplifting, Immunity, Brain-boosting, Reviving, Energising, Stress-busting and Comforting. About 40 per cent of the nation’s fluid each day comes from tea. Tea is a source of the minerals manganese, essential for bone growth and body development, and potassium, which is vital for maintaining body fluid levels. The average cup of tea contains less than half the amount of caffeine found in coffee.

which all contain about ten per cent of one of the pure varieties along with a blend of other plants designed to correct a health issue. When I visit ATTIC’s Kingsdown base, Anne pours me a cup of the latest product, and the first one the company has ever sold in a tea bag, called Teatox. It’s a blend of each of the five tea types and I’m surprised to find it’s deliciously mellow. Anne says: “Teatox is really everything ATTIC is about. We sell just five pure teas because we think they are the most potent for health. It’s one tea bag per day, you just keep topping up your mug with water. “Because we promote health through tea we don’t suggest taking it with milk as that stops your body absorbing nutrients. “Most people notice a difference in three or four days, with better energy levels and digestion, which are tiny things, but have a massive knock-on effect in your life. I’ve been

trialling Teatox every day for about three weeks and I’ve noticed I need about an hour and a half less sleep than I used to.” ATTIC sells online or through markets in Bristol, Bath and Frome. There are also free monthly tea-tasting sessions at the Clifton Hotel, but increasingly Anne is on a mission to improve health in the workplace. She says: “We go into offices and do free tastings and presentations and people come and talk to us about their health. Everyone sits at a desk all day, which is not how our bodies are designed to work, so people get digestive problems and back problems. “In an office, most people are drinking rubbish hot drinks all day and it’s not that big a shift to drink good tea; it’s not like saying you have to go to the gym four times a week, it’s just about changing what you put in your hot water. “It’s a health solution without really much work, so it’s a no brainer to me.”

ATTIC TEA For more about ATTIC, visit www.attictea.com, call 0117 909 0357, or email hello@attictea.com

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

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My day on a plate

KATE PERCY FOOD WRITER Age: 49 Address: Freeland Place, Clifton Profession: Food for fitness writer and cook, author of Go Faster Food and Go Faster Food for Kids Height: 5 ft 9in Weight: 60kg (9 and a half stone) How would you describe your diet? Healthy, varied and balanced – I try to practice what I preach! Do you have any specific nutritional requirements? No What do you do, if anything, by way of exercise? Mainly running (I run marathons) but I also love to cycle, kayak and walk; basically anything that involves being out in the fresh air.

SALLY BEARE NUTRITIONAL THERAPIST Age: 46 Address: Montpelier, Bristol Profession: Nutritional therapist and author Height: 5ft 7ins Weight: 56.3kg (just under 9 stone)

called Akea Essentials which the American company I work for makes, a piece of pumpernickel bread (toasted) with olive oil, a poached egg, and a slice of tomato. A cup of green tea.

How would you describe your diet? Pretty healthy, but not perfect.

Lunch: Salad, half an avocado, some nuts and seeds, potato and watercress soup, a slice of sourdough rye toast with butter. Plus more green tea.

Do you have any specific nutritional requirements? I can’t eat wheat. What do you do, if anything, by way of exercise? Some walking at weekends and I try to walk to school and back to get the children at least twice a week. I have a hula hoop, which I mean to use for ten minutes a day, but never do. Breakfast: Half an apple, a smoothie made with oat milk, soy yoghurt and a whole food powder

Dinner: A glass of organic rosé wine, some olives, a home-made corn tortilla with black beans, soured cream, coriander and guacamole, some green beans with olive oil and lemon. Extras: Three cheesy oatcakes on the way back from the school run, four pieces of dark chocolate soon after lunch, and a chocolate-covered fig after supper.

Breakfast: A typical breakfast for me is porridge or muesli with fresh fruit, often followed by wholemeal toast and marmite. Lunch: If I’m working from home, I’ll have something like a couscous and roasted veg salad, or sardines on wholemeal toast with a tomato salad. If I’m on the go, I’ll usually grab a tuna sandwich, one of those tubs of fresh fruit salad and a bottle of water. Dinner: We eat our main family meal in the evening. Tonight we’re having spaghetti with homemade basil pesto; last night was Indian-spiced salmon with sag aloo (potato and spinach curry). Pudding is normally fruit or yoghurt. Snacks: I’ll often have a handful of seeds, nuts and raisins or an energy-boosting flapjack before a run or whizz up a banana smoothie after a long run to help recovery. I tend not to snack otherwise ... except for a couple of squares of dark chocolate after supper most nights!

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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Micro-payment money spinner POP GOES THE NEWS WEB HEADLINES

No ads, low prices, and good at just one thing: messaging. That’s the appeal behind WhatsApp, one of the biggest apps on the net

W

hat is WhatsApp? The short answer is: it’s a free messaging service. The slightly longer answer is: it’s a bit of a phenomenon, and it’s knocking better-known messaging services out of its way as it grows. Last week, WhatsApp (now owned by Facebook, but crucially not covered in any Facebook branding) announced it had reached 500 million active users. Note the word “active” – that means there must be thousands, probably millions more people who have signed up but aren’t using the service on a regular basis. Yet. Take a quick look at WhatsApp and you might not be very impressed. There are dozens of apps like it for phones and desktop computers. They’ve been around for years. So what makes WhatsApp so appealing to so many people? One answer is reliability and simplicity. The WhatsApp development team is famous for its tight focus on the most important part of the

service: getting messages from A to B reliably and efficiently. They have deliberately concentrated their efforts on getting this bit done right, generally avoiding the temptation to add on extra features. Consequently, even when your phone is perilously close to losing its network connection altogether, WhatsApp will do the right thing and get your message sent to its recipient. A second answer: it’s cross platform. WhatsApp works on all the different flavours of smartphone, so you can stay in touch with all your friends without worrying which one they use. Finally, WhatsApp has no adverts. It charges a subscription fee instead: just one dollar per year, and the first year is free anyway. This kind of micro-payment is perfect. It’s so low that no-one thinks twice about paying, but it’s enough that once WhatsApp has hundreds of millions of users, it becomes a decent money spinner.

■ What’s happening on the entire internet right now? You could spend all day browsing the most popular news sites to find out, or you could get the job done in about five minutes by paying a visit to PopURLs (popurls.com). This fantastically useful site aggregates news headlines from dozens of other sites. The main page covers what you might loosely term “internet news”, but there are sub-pages that cover other subjects such as proper news, sport, and business.

SHUFFLED FOR SOUND MUSIC ONLINE ■ Looking for some new sounds? Shuffler (shuffler.fm) is a great place to listen to the hippest new music from the web. It collates playlists from a huge selection of other music blogs and sites, aggregating all the new stuff in one place. That’s the idea, anyway. There are some superstar big names here, and a large number of up-and-coming artists, too.

HACK YOUR LIFE MAKING CHANGES ■ Lifehacker has been around for a few years now, documenting all the ways you can hack your life to make it better. As of last week, there’s a new UK edition at www.lifehacker.co.uk. What does “lifehacking” mean? It means making things better: changing your habits or picking up new ones so that you get more done with less fuss.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● BUY IT 15


Bells toll for spring’s stunning symphony Displays of British bluebells are reaching perfection now, writes Steve Mellen – so if there’s a gap in the rain this bank holiday weekend, get out and about and track down one of the most beautiful seasonal wonders of our natural world

16 DO IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 2, 2014


BLUE BLOOMS POPULAR WOODLAND RESERVES Prior’s Wood, in Portbury

FAMILY RUN ARNOS VALE

Lower Woods, in South Gloucestershire Weston Big Wood, near Clevedon Brown’s Folly, near Bath Willsbridge Valley, near Longwell Green Folly Farm, in the Chew Valley

■ Toddlers and their parents are being encouraged to sign up to the Arnos Vale Family 5k Community Run this Bank Holiday Monday (May 5). It’s the third time the event has been staged, and it has become established as a popular fundraising event for the local community. As well as the main 5k event, five to 15-year-olds can take on a 2k challenge and there is also the “puddleducks” two-lap toddle of Ceremonial Way. The full race incorporates Arnos Vale Park next door. Visit www.arnosvale.org.uk to see how you can sign up.

Picture: Tom Marshall

T

here are some things you have all year to enjoy – a stroll round the Harbourside, The Downs, your favourite local pub – but some are more fleeting. The appearance of Hyacinthoides non-scripta (that’s bluebells to you and me) only lasts a few weeks, and the display is at its peak in the next few days. All across verges, copses and woodland you can find this stunning carpet of blue, which also comes with its own unique fragrance. There are places in the city where you can hand over a few quid and see exotic plants, but this display is free if you have the time to head out and about to track them down. Because it heralds the peak of spring, and is

such a pretty sight, the bluebell is often hailed as the favourite flower of the British Isles. While they’re nice to look at, don’t be tempted to uproot a plant and take it home. The bluebell is a protected species and while you’d be unlucky to get caught, you can be fined up to £5,000 for removing a bulb. The plant is native to Western Europe, so shores beyond our own are blessed with it, and it has also been introduced to parts of North America. It’s not just about bluebells at this time of year, “support acts” include wood anemone and wild garlic. You might also consider planning a trip to the gardens at Ashton Court, as there are more than 160 species of rose grown in the sunken area close to the mansion building. Outdoor Shakespeare is often put on here, but few sights and smells match the dazzling variety of blooms on show here. But there are few sights in the UK’s natural world to rival a piece of ancient woodland towering over a carpet of blue.

AUTHOR TALK ROMAN BATHS ■ As part of Bath’s Museums at Night celebrations in May, there is the rare chance to enjoy a torchlit parade and meet a bestselling author at the same time. Historic novelist Lindsey Davis is best known for writing The Course of Honour, the true story of the Emperor Vespasian and his mistress Caenis, and for the not-inconsiderable 20-volume mystery series featuring Roma detective Falco. She will be talking about her career, appropriately in surroundings which owe much to their Roman roots, at the Pump Room on Friday, May 16, from 7pm to 8pm. Call Bath Box Office on 01225 463362 for tickets, which will include a glass of wine and admission to a special music event afterwards.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● DO IT 17


      

   



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18 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 2, 2014


Lunch with the family Relax by the pool

L

ike the water outside the window of this poolside café/bar, things are only just warming up for The Lido Kitchen’s second summer. Set up in 2012 by Bristol restaurateur James Savage, this iconic 1960s-built café on Portishead seafront is now in the hands of former manager Gemma Coles, who is running the place pretty much as before. Perched on the water’s edge, with stunning views across the Bristol Channel towards Wales, it’s a lovely location and light streams through large windows on two sides of the room, with glimpses of the colourful open-air pool through another window. The uncoated, sandy-coloured wooden tables, table numbers chalked on to shiny pebbles and small metal buckets of cutlery add a Cornish beach café feel to the place and there is a genuine “on holiday” atmosphere, whether the sun is shining or not. In the kitchen is head chef Tremaine Plummer, who has worked in several notable pubs in Bristol, including The Spotted Cow in Bedminster and The Robin Hood’s Retreat on Gloucester Road. Food is served all day, from breakfast through to dinner, and the brunch options (available 9am-3pm) include pancakes with bacon and maple syrup, eggs Benedict and a full English breakfast (including a child-sized version) and a “little kids” poached egg and soldiers.

19 EAT IT ● ● ● ● ●

Children are well catered for here and lunch/dinner options include fishcake with creamed leeks, Cumberland sausage and chips or courgette, pea and mint risotto (all £5). For the grown-ups, choices include burgers (£8.75), beer-battered fish and chips (£8.50) and a veggie goats’ cheese and beetroot salad (£6.50). I went for a starter of rare roast duck salad (£6), a well-presented dish of pink and tender slices of duck mixed into a tangle of sliced fennel, lamb’s lettuce, frisée, crunchy carrot and segments of orange, all brought together with a mustardy dressing. This was followed by an 8oz rib-eye steak (£17.45), from the dinner menu, which was perfectly cooked on the rarer side of medium and served with greaseless chips that were crisp outside and fluffy within. A separate jug of peppercorn sauce was creamy, rich, peppery and may well have had a glug of brandy added to it. From a concise dessert menu that also includes lemon posset and blueberry Eton mess, banoffee pie (£5.50) had been deconstructed into a buttery biscuit base layered with firm slices of banana, a blanket of toffee sauce and topped with quenelles of light and airy whipped cream. It was a harmonious coupling of flavours and textures, but the richness and generosity of the portion soon had me waving the white napkin of surrender and feeling quite relieved that I hadn’t made any rash plans to belly-flop into the pool afterwards.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

THE LIDO KITCHEN Portishead Lido, The Esplanade, Portishead, BS20 7HD. Tel: 01275 814114, www.thelidokitchen.com

VERDICT: Enjoyable food in a unique waterside venue, The Lido Kitchen is sure to make another big splash during its second summer season.

Food ★★★★✩ Service ★★★★✩ Ambience ★★★★✩


Dinner for grown-ups Rustic and generous tapas

New season artichoke with local goat’s curd, hazelnuts and sweet herbs

O MANNA 2b North View, Westbury Park, Bristol, BS6 7QB. Tel 0117 970 6276

VERDICT: Two years since it opened, Manna is in rude health and it’s still the epitome of a great neighbourhood restaurant serving highly enjoyable food at a sensible price. I just wish I lived around the corner.

Food ★★★★★ Service ★★★★✩ Ambience ★★★★✩ 20 EAT IT ● ● ● ● ●

n a drizzly Saturday night, Manna is packed and buzzy, mainly with locals lucky enough to live around the corner. But then why would you want to venture into town when you can enjoy such a great neighbourhood bar and restaurant on your doorstep? Housed in what was once a Chinese takeaway, Manna is small but perfectly formed, with a bar area for those who just want to pop in for a glass of wine or a cold beer, perhaps accompanied by a bowl of harissa and honey roasted nuts. Manna recently celebrated its second birthday with the launch of a new menu that expands on its original tapas theme with a few more main course-size dishes. Sibling to popular Italian restaurant Prego opposite, Manna is more broadly European in style, with dishes influences by Spain, the Middle East and Italy. Co-owner Olly Gallery splits his time between both restaurants but the execution of the new Manna menu is very much down to chef Rick Stephenson, who previously worked for Stephen Markwick at Culinaria. The food here is rustic, big-flavoured and generous. From the appetisers, the croquetas (£3.50) were plump, golden-crusted cigars of hot and melting smoked haddock and leek. Beetroot with Vulscombe goats’ cheese (£3) was something of a revelation, being a cold

from Friday, May 2, 2014

mash of yellow beetroot (rather than the more obvious red variety), topped with chopped dill and crumbled goats’ cheese with plenty of salty tang. From the starters/small plates section of the menu, crispy pumpkin with ricotta, blossom honey and oregano (£6.50) was similar in style to the croquetas, the golden bread-crumbed parcels of sweet pumpkin scattered with creamy ricotta, dribbles of fragrant honey and a few oregano leaves. It was a combination that worked brilliantly well, as did the rich wild mushroom ragu (£6.95), a dish of creamy mushrooms and leeks topped with grated Parmesan, four balls of cold mozzarella and the crisp crunch of pangratatto (Italian-style breadcrumbs) with a thwack of chilli. Seared Cornish scallops with tiger prawns (£7.95) took on an international flavour with coconut, five spice and peanuts more associated with Asian cooking, but also roast pearl barley pepped up with the Middle Eastern spice za’atar. From the new main courses, a precisely cooked fillet of Cornish hake (£14.95) was coupled with a punchy Mediterranean combination of roast tomatoes, fine beans, black olive and coriander. Blood orange semi-fredo with rhubarb and toasted almonds (£5.95) was a cool, refreshing and perfectly seasonal end to the meal.


from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 21


New Opening Welcome addition to Italian scene

M

y primary school-level grasp of the Italian language tells me the name of the restaurant translates as “beautiful view” – and there’s no denying that the outlook from Bella Vista has its charms. Next to Bristol Bridge and looking out across the River Avon to Castle Park, it’s a pleasant view and you can see why Addy Zaganjori and Petrit Krasniqi decided to open their first restaurant in this former branch of Starbucks. The new owners have years of experience in other restaurants around the city, including Sergio’s in Frogmore Street and Mezzaluna in Bedminster, so they must know their market and clearly hope to attract a few of their old regulars to their new venture. And in fact, Bella Vista is a welcome addition to Bristol’s somewhat overcrowded Italian restaurant scene. Italian restaurants tend to fall into two categories: contemporary places, serving seasonal regional cooking, or traditional trattorias with wicker-clad Chianti bottles and enormous pepper grinders. Bella Vista falls between two stools in that it has the light and airy feel of a modern Italian restaurant, but it also has the paper-napkinsstuffed-into-wine-glasses look usually associated with less contemporary places. The olive-green walls are dotted with photographs of Venice and Vespas and there is an

22 EAT IT ● ● ● ● ●

abundance of leafy pot plants and the strains of Dean Martin crooning Volare in the background. The menu is packed with familiar Italian pasta and pizza dishes, as well as meat and fish main courses. A hearty starter of funghi al dolcelatte (£6.95) was by no means shy, the huge fleshy field mushrooms topped with a generous handful of wilted spinach and outrageously rich and creamy blue cheese sauce. Similarly, gamberoni diavola (£7.95) was an enormous plate of king prawns in a blanket of fiery, garlicky tomato and white wine sauce that made the lips tingle. Tagliatelle ai funghi (£10.95) wasn’t a dish for dieters – the mound of egg tagliatelle topped with creamy wild porcini mushrooms, Parmesan, a good glug of musky truffle oil and slices of salty Parma ham. A good-value agnello al vino rosso (£14.95) comprised a thick rump of tender lamb with a good flavour matched by an intense sun-dried tomato and red wine sauce. It was accompanied by a complimentary bowl of broccoli and carrots, although a few potatoes wouldn’t have gone amiss. To finish, a light and zesty lemon gelato with limoncello sauce (£5.75) and a candied fruit and chocolate-studded slice of cassata (£4.95) were as generous as the rest.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

BELLA VISTA 2B Victoria Street, Bristol, BS1 6DT. Tel 0117 925 0929

VERDICT: Whopping portions of robust Mediterranean favourites served with a genuinely warm welcome.

SCORES:

Food ★★★���✩ Service ★★★★✩ Ambience ★★★✩✩


PUB OF THE WEEK THE KINGS ARMS

I

t seemed rather timely that my unscheduled stop at The Kings Arms coincided with the National Day for England. After all, the village of Eastonin-Gordano was once known as St George. A large detached Victorian pub with a decked area next to the car park at the front and an annexe at the back for the well-used skittles alley, The Kings Arms serves the villagers of Easton-in-Gordano and nearby Pill, but it’s also convenient for Portishead commuters. Although the pub’s interior has been updated over the years, it still retains plenty of its original character, particularly in the cosy back room, part of which was being used by diners when I visited. Walls are dotted with framed black and white photos of the village over the years and there are three pairs of mounted antlers above the doorway leading to the dining area. Occasional live music and open mic nights take place in the main front bar, which also has a pool table and flat-screen TV on the wall for live sport. The smaller room at the back is where the hand pumps for the real ales are, as well as a

few jacketed barrels of ales lined up against the back bar. These included Moles Brewery Moleslayer, Cottage Brewery St George’s and the Dartmoor Jail Ale I chose – at £3.20 a pint, it was good value and in excellent condition. Doom Bar and Courage Best are also served on draught, with Thatchers Dry, Thatchers Gold and Cheddar Valley lined up for the cider drinkers. Food is served from breakfast until dinner. Close to the M5 and Gordano Services, it’s a popular pit-stop for a full English (£5.50) and at lunchtime there is a wide range of paninis and sandwiches for about £5. In the evening, the menu is extensive and includes beef chilli (£7.95), slow-cooked belly of pork with creamy mash and mushy peas (£11.99) and whole rack of ribs in barbecue sauce, with hand-cut chips and slaw (£13.99). Starters include queen scallops in a creamy white wine sauce topped with mash (£5.50) and there is a separate menu for burgers, including a venison one with red marmalade and chips for £7.95. ■ 12 St Georges Hill, Easton-in-Gordano, BS20 0PS. Tel 01275 372208.

WINE OF THE WEEK TESCO FINEST ARGENTINA MENDOZA CHARDONNAY ■ Tesco Finest Argentina Mendoza Chardonnay 2013 is currently on promotion (until May 20) at £6.49, reduced from £8.49. That makes it a special bargain. Yellow-gold in colour, it has a luxurious hint of butter in the ripe-apple richness, even though it has not been oak-aged. It’s a testament to the uniquely sun-baked ripening conditions of the high-altitude vineyards of Mendoza, close to the great mountain range of the Andes. As elegant and fresh as it is lush and rich, this wine is made by Catena, one of Argentina’s best-rated producers.

FRIDAY, MAY 2 ■ ���� ������� ���� ������� ������� ���� ������ ������ �������� � ������ �� �������� ������ ���������� ���� �� ������� ���������� ������� ������ ��� ������� ������ �� ���� �� ������ ���� ���� ������ ���� ������� ���� �� ������ ��� �� ���� ������ ������ ���� ���� �� ���� ■ ������� ���� ����������� ��� ������� ���� ����������� �������� �������� ����� ��� ���� ����� ��� ��� ��������� �������� �� ���� ��� ����� ������ ������ ��� ����� ���������� ����� ������� ����� ����������� �� ����’� ������ ��� � ����� ������� ��� ���� �� ��� ������ ��� ��� ���������� �� ��� ������������ ������� ���� ����������� ���� ��������� ���� ��� ��� ����� ������� ������� ���� ������� ��� ������ ����������� �� ����� ������� ��� ���� �������� ����� ��� ������� ������������������������������� SATURDAY, MAY 3 ■ ������� ���� ����������� ��� ������ ��� ������� ��� �� ��� �������� �������� �������� �� ���� ��� ����� ������ ������ ������ ��� ����� ���� � ������ ���� ������ �� ������ ���� �� ������� ����� ���� ��������� ����� ���� ������ ��� ��� ��������� ��� ���� ������ ��� ����� ������ ��� �����’� ������������ ��� ������� � ���� ���� ���������’ ������ ��� ��� ���� � ����� ���� �� ��� ������� ������ ���� ������� � ������ �� ��� ������ ���� ����� ������ ������� ������ ��������� � ���� ���� ������ ��� ��������� ��� ����� �� ���� ��� ��� ����� ������� ������� ���� ������� �� ����� ������� ����� ���������� ������� � ������� ����� �� ��� ������� ��� �� ���������� ��� � “������� �� ���” �������� ������ ���� �� ��� ������ �� �� �������� ������� ��� ������� �� �� ������������������������������� ■ ����������� ���� �������’ ������ ���� ������������� �������’ ������ ������ �������� ��� ������� ����� ��������� ��� ��������� ������ ����� ��� ����������� ����� ������� ����� ��� ������� ������� ��� ������ ��� ��� �� ������ ��� ������ ����� ����� �� ��� ������ �� ����������� ���� ��� ������ ���� ���� ������ �� ���� ���� ������ ■ �� ����� ������� ������ ��� ����� �� ���� ��� �������� ������� �� ������ ������ ���� ��� �� ����� ������� ���� �������� ��� ���� �� ����� ���� ��� ����� �� ���� �� � ��������� �� ����� ������� ������ ����� ��������� ������� ������� ����� ��� ������� ����� ����� ��� ������� �������� ������ ������� ������ ���������� ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ��� ����� ���� ���� �� ���� ���� ������ SUNDAY, MAY 4 ■ ������ ������� ���������� �������� ������ ������� �� ������������ ������ �� ���������� � ��������� �� ������� ������� ������������� ��� � ����������� ������� ����� �� ���� ����� ���� �� �� ������� ������ �������� ������������ �������� �� ������������ ������ ��� ����������� ��� �� ��������� ��� �� ����� ���� �� �� ������� ���� ����������� ���� ��� �� ���� ���� ���� ����� ������������������ ��� ���� ����’� ������� ��� �����

from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● EAT IT 23


Free food makes a simple family supper

F

oraging for seasonal ingredients has never been more popular and the fact that it’s free means that doing so can also help to keep your food bill down. If you have children, an afternoon wandering around the countryside and city looking for wild pickings can be a fun experience, although the golden rule for anybody foraging for edible ingredients is “if in doubt, don’t pick it” and, particularly in the city, avoid areas where dogs may have been. The other obvious rule is wash everything thoroughly before eating, or cooking it. Rosehips on a Kitchen Table is a new book by Carolyn and Chris Caldicott, who owned the World Food Café in Covent Garden for many years, cooking delicious vegetarian food from recipes collected on their travels. The new book combines old-fashioned recipes and tips for cooking seasonal ingredients sourced from the hedgerows, as well as local suppliers and farmers’ markets. The recipes combine unusual, yet traditional ingredients such as nettles, rosehips and elderberries, as well as plenty of ideas for dealing with seasonal gluts and finding and cooking easily-foraged food. There are chapters on foraging and gathering, what to do with seasonal gluts, growing your own, plus a section on how to make something out of the most unusual ingredients. The recipes include the tried-and-tested dishes such as cobnut and rocket pesto with Maris Piper and parsnip gnocchi; sloe and elderberry cider; wild garlic and heritage potato dauphinoise and quince poached in vanilla and cinnamon syrup. Nettles are everywhere at the moment and although most of us think of them as a rather painful nuisance, they are packed full of protein, iron, magnesium and vitamins A, C, D and B complex. Their earthy, spinach-like flavour means they often appear on the menus of top restaurants. Nettles are at their best in the spring, when the plants are small and the leaves tender. By the summer, they have become too tough and fibrous to eat. Rubber gloves and long trousers tucked into wellies is the best uniform for nettle-picking and you should look for nettle patches away from paths, selecting only the new growth (the top four leaves should do it). As well as soup, pesto and tea, nettles also make a great risotto that’s bright green in colour.

■ Rosehips on a Kitchen Table by Carolyn and Chris Caldicott is published by Frances Lincoln Publishers, £9.99.

24 EAT IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 2, 2014

NETTLE RISOTTO SERVES 4 ■ 3 rubber-gloved large handfuls of washed young nettle leaves ■ 3 tablespoons butter ■ 1 tablespoon olive oil ■ 1 small red onion, diced ■ 2 young leeks, cleaned and thinly sliced ■ 400g/2 cups arborio rice ■ 110ml/half a cup dry white wine ■ 1 litre/4 cups hot chicken or vegetable stock ■ 75g/1 cup grated Parmesan cheese ■ a handful of chopped parsley ■ a knob of butter ■ salt and black pepper To garnish ■ rocket leaves ■ extra grated Parmesan ■ a drizzle of olive oil

■ Drop the nettle leaves into a pan of rapidly boiling water. After no longer than a minute, drain the nettles and refresh with cold water. Blend the leaves in a processor until finely chopped. In a heavy-bottomed pan, heat the butter and the olive oil. When the butter has melted, add the diced onion and leeks and sauté until soft, but not brown. Stir in the arborio rice until coated with butter, pour in the white wine and stir until the wine has been absorbed. Gradually add the hot stock, a ladle at a time, making sure all the stock has been absorbed before adding the next ladle. Stir continually to achieve the perfect creamy risotto. Add the prepared nettles, grated Parmesan, parsley, a large knob of butter and seasoning to taste. Stir until well combined. Serve topped with rocket leaves, extra grated Parmesan and a drizzle of olive oil.


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For the best French sunshine head to Corsica

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lthough it is the closest Mediterranean island to the UK – at just over two hours’ flying time – and the fourth largest island in the Mediterranean, Corsica still remains a mystery to most. It lies some 170km off the French coast and 80km from Italy. Geographically, Corsica is tuned to Italy, but it is governed by France, so there is a mix of French and Italian influences, while the island retains its own personality. Laid back and unpretentious, Corsica is a wonderfully hospitable island. At the heart of the Mediterranean, it is steeped in tradition and the culture bears witness to the island’s often turbulent past, perhaps a reason why Corsicans are proud, generous and, very often, free spirited. If you are looking for great weather, Corsica has one of the best sunshine records in France, with 2,793 hours per year. Average summer temperatures reach a very pleasant 25°C, rising to as high as 35°C in July and August, and average daily hours of sunshine range from nine to 12 hours between May and September. With its 1,000km of stunning coastline and crystal clear waters, there are 200 beaches to choose from, with sand of every shade from white through to gold. Deserted beaches with hidden coves are perfect for couples, the many shaded and gently shelving beaches are ideal for children, while several magnificent bays are just right for water sports enthusiasts. The cuisine is best described as somewhere between French and Italian, but there are also many aspects which are distinctly Corsican. Most meals are rich and hearty, often

slow-cooked to maximise the flavour and to make the most of the wide array of vegetables, fruits and herbs that grow on the island. Corsicans take their food and drink very seriously, and it is quite common for islanders to take a leisurely three-course lunch accompanied by a few glasses of local wine. As many Corsicans regularly eat at restaurants, this means that standards are generally high. For more than 2,000 years, Corsica’s vineyards have produced wines, although the industry has recently experienced a renaissance and many wine growers are now producing truly organic wines, with flavours of the maquis and forest fruits. The vineyards are very beautiful, hanging on mountainsides above the Mediterranean, or tucked away in valleys below dramatically perched medieval villages. Corsican Places has weekly direct flights from May 25-September 21, flying with BMI Regional from Bristol to Bastia. Arriving into Bastia provides easy access to the North, North East or even l’Extrême Sud, and, with a fantastic range of handpicked villas, residences and hotels, you will be spoilt for choice. Corsica has something for everyone, whether you are looking for a traditional family beach holiday, a touring holiday discovering the breathtaking mountain scenery, a romantic break right in the heart of the atmospheric citadels, or a more energetic experience cycling, walking, or on the water. With 27 years’ experience of booking holidays here, Corsican Places has a bi-lingual, knowledgeable sales team with first-hand knowledge.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

REQUEST A BROCHURE: To request a brochure, call 0845 3302345 or visit Corsica.co.uk. Package holidays cost from £499 per person.

● ● ● ● ● A D V E R T I S I N G F E A T U R E 25


Head south for surf, sand and plenty of sunshine Jon Bennett took the car for a self-catering family holiday at Les Charmettes holiday village in the Charente-Maritime region of France, where beautiful beaches and historic towns are on the doorstep

26 DO EAT IT IT ● ●● ●● ●● ●● ●

from from Friday, Friday, May May 2, 2, 2014 2014


FACTFILE ■ Jon stayed at siblu’s Les Charmettes holiday village in Charente Maritime, where holiday homes for up to six people start from £903 based on a seven-night stay from July 19. For more information and to book, go to www.siblu.com, or call 0871 911 2288. Brittany Ferries operates routes from Portsmouth, Poole and Plymouth to Western France, saving miles of unnecessary and costly driving. Travel overnight by luxury cruise-ferry in your own cabin with en suite facilities, or be whisked across the channel in as little as three hours. Jon travelled from Portsmouth to Caen. Peak summer fares start from £84.50pp each way, based on a family of four taking their car. Book online at www.brittanyferries.com or call 0871 244 1400.

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love my summer holidays, which are even more precious now the eldest of my daughters is approaching 15 and I feel the opportunities to make memories start ebbing away. It is also the reason why I love taking my family to France; travelling by car offers the chance to bond with them all without the stress of an airport check-in. You also get the benefit of a nice long sleep on the overnight ferry before the joys of a road trip in a foreign country. And, most importantly, my kids love it there. Although it would be easy to choose a siblu park closer to home, in Brittany or Normandy for example, the fact that the children are a bit older actually broadens the choice, and means we can afford the luxury of a longer car journey

south to the Charente-Maritime region. At Les Charmettes there is a plethora of activities to keep children of all ages entertained: football pitches, basketball courts, table tennis tables, archery, crazy golf, you name it... Or, if they just want to spend their days in the water, there is a huge pool complex with a splash zone, wave machine and some great slides. There is also a selection of kids’ clubs that cater for three different age ranges. There’s also a mini-supermarket, fast-food shop, restaurant and bar, and a launderette, free wi-fi and a cycle hire shop, too. This particular area of France is known as The Beautiful Coast, and with good reason. If you like soft, sandy beaches, you really are spoilt for choice. The nearest is at the seaside town of La Palmyre, just a two-mile journey away and easily do-able by bicycle. La Palmyre is also home to the town’s zoo, a selection of great little restaurants, and a very fine night market. Held every Wednesday night, it’s a lively affair with a whole host of local crafts and delicacies on offer. Hop in the car and travel a bit further down the coast towards Royan and you really do come to beach heaven: miles and miles of golden sand, with plenty of shallows to paddle in and some great surf. Further afield there are also plenty of beautiful beaches on the islands of Ile d’Aix, Ile d’Oleron and Ile Madame, just a short boat ride or bridge hop away. Ile d’Oleron is a treat in itself, with its lime-washed houses and external stone staircases. Not only does it have the best water park in the area in Iléo Parc Aquatique, it is also the gateway to the famous Fort Boyard, a former Napoleonic prison fort now home to the eponymous television game show. However, it was the family’s trip to the medieval city of La Rochelle which remains my favourite excursion of the holiday, meandering through the beautifully preserved historic port and its “old districts”. The maze of pedestrianised streets are flanked by stunning 17th and 18th century buildings that are now largely home to boutique shops. The sumptuous holiday homes on site are lovely to return to after a day out, or even if you’ve just been at the pool all day. As well as having a brand new feel to them, they are fitted with all mod cons, including a full gas cooker, fridge/freezer, microwave and barbecue, so you really can cater for yourselves with ease. Our double bedroom was not only spacious, it had a walk-in wardrobe, too. My daughters had plenty of space with their single rooms, while the shower room took the brunt of the make-up and suntan lotions. Goodness knows how we’d have got that lot on a plane! As always with these trips to France, my very favourite part is the evenings. Most of the homes at the four-star Les Charmettes come with raised wooden verandas, which are just perfect for sitting out for an evening meal, playing board games with the kids and watching the sun go down with a glass or two of the local pineau – a rather pleasant fortified wine made from grape juice and one-year-old Cognac. Santé!

from fromFriday, Friday,May May2,2,2014 2014

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Flowers ordered for birthday bash Bristol’s floating nightspot The Thekla is turning 30 and to celebrate, a mini-festival has been organised with a line-up including Gravenhurst, Rozi Plain, Dub Mafia, Zen Hussies and Bristol’s own The Ramona Flowers, writes Mark Taylor

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his weekend marks an important milestone for the Bristol music scene when the Thekla celebrates its 30th birthday. The iconic floating venue moored in the city’s harbour has played host to thousands of bands over the past three decades and it has been an important launch pad for many stars of the future. Pete Doherty, Franz Ferdinand and Roni Size are among some of the names to play the venue before hitting the big time. Over the course of this weekend, Thekla celebrates its 30th anniversary with a party spread across three nights featuring a number of bands and a few unannounced “surprise guests”. The line-up includes Gravenhurst, Rozi Plain, Dub Mafia, Zen Hussies, The Other Tribe and Seasfife. Also appearing is up-and-coming Bristol band The Ramona Flowers, who recently released their new single, Tokyo, and completed a European tour supporting Bombay Bicycle Club. Likened to Muse, Kasabian and The xx, The Ramona Flowers have already been tipped for great things by a number of music critics including The Guardian’s reviewer, who said “hugeness may be imminent”. The band was formed by Bristol college friends Sam James (guitar), Wayne Jones (bass) and Dave Betts (keyboards and guitar), who recruited singer Steve Bird and drummer Ed Gallimore to complete the five-piece. “We just threw around different ideas,” remembers Steve of the early rehearsals. “Then we all found common ground. We loved a lot of emotional music, electronic music and dirty upbeat music, so we wanted to try and put it all together.” As they did, they took a leap of faith and mailed a CD to one of their musical heroes. The Ramona Flowers particularly admire Andy Barlow of Manchester electronica duo Lamb, for his painstaking productions and exquisite use of texture. “He’s a genius,” smiles Sam. “I’ve always been a massive Lamb fan. His music just blows me away.” Realistically, they didn’t expect to

28 HEAR IT ● ● ● ● ●

hear back, so were amazed when Barlow got in touch and offered to produce them. Barlow then surprised everyone again when he suggested the Ramona Flowers support Lamb on tour. Not in the UK venues they may have expected, but in obscure outposts in Poland, Finland, Lithuania and Latvia, involving exhausting 18-hour ferry journeys through the (literally) frozen Baltic seas. “We were so cold, we were literally shaking,” laughs James. “And then we played a venue in Poland that was six storeys underground. It was a weird start to our band, but it brought us all together.” The foreign jaunt also meant they could develop away from the glare of the UK media, a bit like they have been able to do in Bristol, where their gigs have been selective. The Ramona Flowers don’t have the archetypal “Bristol sound” (although their electronics do bear the faint imprint of dub and drum and bass) but developing at their own pace in the city and doing several gigs at the Louisiana has enabled them to grow under the radar. After tours with Bastille and Bombay Bicycle Club, The Ramona Flowers are preparing for the release of their debut album. In the meantime, they say they are flattered to be playing as part of the Thekla’s birthday party. “Being a Bristol band it’s a great honour to be chosen to play such an iconic local venue for their 30th birthday celebrations,” says Sam. “We can’t wait to play, and they have a great line-up as well, so it’s going to be an amazing night and a good party. “The Thekla is a great venue, it feels really intimate, especially with the gallery above you looking down, and the atmosphere is amazing. “It’s always a little strange knowing you’re playing inside a boat and it’s definitely unique. “One word of advice to bands playing there though, is do not pack your gear up outside on the quay; it’s not good when you see your pedal case floating down the docks.” ■ See listings for details.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

The Ramona Flowers


from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● HEAR IT 29


Coach Holidays 4 £180

3 £160

days from

days from

per person

Monet’s Garden and Paris

per person

Paris & the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe

Departing 13 June, 1 August, 5 September & 10 October 2014

Departing 4 October 2014

Visits to Impressionist painter Claude Monet’s beautiful house and gardens in the Normandy village of Giverny, and to incomparable Paris, are amongst the wonderful highlights of this hugely popular escorted tour, which also offers the opportunity to discover exquisite artists’ village Barbizon.

Experience Europe’s richest horse race this Autumn – the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe at Longchamps in the Bois de Boulogne, Paris. A spectacle that simply has to be seen and experienced!

Our price includes:

• Return coach travel from the local • Coach transfers to and from Longchamps racecourse area • Admission to Longchamps • Return Channel crossings racecourse • Two nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast accommodation at a three-star hotel in the Greater Paris area

admission to Monet’s House and • Return coach travel from the local Gardens area and Channel crossings • Three nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast at the Best Western St Quentin, Maurepas (or similar) • Visit to Giverny including

Our price includes:

4

3

days from

days from

£195 per person

Summertime in Bruges

£150 per person

Brussels’ Flower Carpet

Departing 15 August 2014

Departing 15 August 2014

Discover four of Belgium’s most fascinating cities on this fantastic value summertime break! Famous for its quaint cobbled streets, picturesque canals and fine medieval architecture, we include a full-day to explore the exquisite ‘Chocolate and Lace’ city of Bruges. You’ll also enjoy a visit to stylish Brussels, historic Antwerp and medieval Ghent.

If you’ve never seen the Brussels’ Flower Carpet, you’re in for a treat! Once every two years 800,000 fresh flowers are transformed into a magical tapestry in Brussels Grand Place. A unique and truly amazing sight, which can only be seen for three days!

Our price includes:

viewing area in Brussels’ Grand • Return coach travel from the local Place area • A visit to Bruges • Return Channel crossings • The services of a tour manager • Two nights’ bed and continental breakfast at a Brussels area hotel • Access to the Town Hall’s balcony

comfortable hotel in the Brussels • Return coach travel from the local area area • Visits to Antwerp, Ghent, Brussels • Return Channel crossings and Bruges • Three nights’ bed and continental • The services of a tour manager breakfast accommodation in a

Our price includes:

0843 487 5833 Quote BEP www.newmarket.travel/bep Calls cost 5ppm from a BT landline. You may also be charged a connection fee. Mobile and other providers’ charges may vary. Operated by Newmarket Promotions Ltd. ABTA V787X. Prices are per person, based on two sharing. Subject to availability. Single supplements apply. Terms and conditions apply. These suppliers are independent of Local World. When you respond, the holiday supplier and Local World may contact you with offers/services that may be of interest. Please give your mobile or email details if you wish to receive such offers by SMS or email. We will not give your details to other companies without your permission.

30 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 2, 2014


Music Don’t miss

JONNY BRUCE TRIBUTE TO THE TRUMPET KINGS BE-BOP CLUB

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wider, taking in pop, jazz, reggae and psychedelia. Since late Eighties singles Eye Know and Me Myself and I, De La Soul have continued to garner awards, including a Grammy in 2006 for their collaboration with Gorillaz on the single Feel Good Inc. A quarter of a century on from the initial release of their seminal debut album, De La Soul are back to remind us that three is still the Magic Number.

orking as both a soloist and a lead player in a variety of musical contexts, Bristolbased trumpet player Jonny Bruce has received much critical acclaim over the past few years. His command over the instrument has made him a very versatile and in-demand musician. His exuberant trumpet playing has become an essential feature of Bristol’s music scene over the past few years, bringing excitement to bands of every style. Many will have seen him playing the part of Harry James in the Bruce Ilett Big Band, and his latest project, Tribute to the Trumpet Kings, takes that idea one step further, with Bruce presenting a chronological history of jazz trumpet, starting with Louis Armstrong, passing the plunger styles of Bubba Miley and Cootie Williams through to the Be-Bop era of Dizzy Gillespie and beyond. He is joined by an all-star team featuring Ben Waghorn (saxes and clarinet), Denny Ilett (guitar), Mike Willox (piano), Dave Guy (bass) and Andy Hague (drums).

■ Wednesday, May 7. See listings for details.

■ Friday, May 2. See listings for details.

DE LA SOUL O2 ACADEMY

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idely considered a hip-hop masterpiece, New York trio De La Soul’s debut album, 3 Feet High And Rising, was hailed on its 1989 release as the future of the genre. A colourful burst of neo-psychedelic samples and playful wordplay, plus the trio’s trademark witty skits and lyrics, the album sounded like nothing else in hip-hop. De La Soul eschewed the obvious influences of old-school rap or funk and spread their net

JUDIE TZUKE ST GEORGE’S BRISTOL

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inger-songwriter Judie Tzuke first came to national prominence when she appeared on Top of The Pops three times with her 1979 single Stay With Me Till Dawn, which was released on Elton John’s Rocket label. Although the single reached only number 16 in the UK charts, it is still played regularly on the radio and frequently crops up in lists of all-time most popular songs. After her debut album, Welcome to the Cruise, Tzuke went on to

become the support act on Elton John’s three-month 1980 North American tour, including an appearance in front of a staggering 450,000 people in New York’s Central Park. Since then, Tzuke hasn’t stopped recording or touring, her music gradually acquiring a lighter, jazzier sound over the years. She’s now back on the road with her Woman Overboard tour. ■ Tuesday, May 6. See listings for details.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● HEAR IT 31


By David Marks

Music listings

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32 HEAR IT ● ● ● ● ●

COMING SOON BRISTOL ACOUSTIC FESTIVAL ■ With a new home and a new, improved line-up for fans to enjoy, this year’s Bristol Acoustic Festival has all the ingredients to be a success. Taking over the Colston Hall, as the International Jazz and Blues Festival did earlier this year, organisers have recruited national acts Thea Gilmore and Richard Digance, as well as hometown girl Beth Rowley, pictured, to complement the local talent. Tickets cost £25 for the festival, which takes place on Sunday, May 25. For details, see www.colstonhall.org.

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illed as “the festival for indoor folk”, this two-day event takes place in two venues a couple of minutes’ walk from each other. For fans of folk, it’s a must-see line-up featuring some of the biggest names in folk, past and present. Headliners Fairport Convention are widely regarded as the most influential group in the folk rock movement and their Sunday night appearance at St George’s Bristol is sure to be one of many highlights. On Saturday night, Bristol bhangra band

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RSVP joins forces with The Morris Sides for an unexpected, but unmissable performance of classic Indian music, comedy and dance. Other highlights include a solo performance from Idlewild frontman Roddy Woomble, Bellowhead founders Spiers and Boden, pictured, The Lucy Ward Band, Martha Tilston and dozens more. There will also be celidhs, morris dancing, workshops, stalls, talks and food and drink at both venues. ■ May 3-4. See listings for details.

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Escorted Holidays 8 £749

6 £399

days from

days from

per person

per person

The Beautiful Amalfi Coast

Carcassonne, Avignon & Provence

Join us for a sun-kissed Italian holiday based in an excellent four-star hotel overlooking the Bay of Salerno, close to the famous Amalfi Drive. Rest and relax, and join some wonderful included and optional excursions.

A guided tour of walled Carcassonne - one of France’s greatest medieval glories - as well as visits to historic Avignon, with its Palais and fabled bridge, and the spectacular Pont du Gard, are amongst highlights of this escorted holiday that also offers a choice of hotels and some exciting optional excursions.

Departing July to October 2014

Departing June to October 2014

Our price includes: • Return flights to Italy from Bristol • Seven nights’ half-board accommodation at the four-star Hotel San Pietro in Maiori • Full day visit to Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast • Full day visit to Paestum and

• • • •

Salerno Airport to hotel transfers Drinks with dinner & free tea and biscuits each day Free use of tennis courts & sunbeds The services of a tour manager

Our price includes: • Return flights to Toulouse or Barcelona direct from Bristol • Five nights’ bed and breakfast at the Ibis Carcassonne Est (a choice of upgrade accommodation is available for a supplement)

• Return airport to hotel transfers • Guided walking tour of Carcassonne • A full day visit to Avignon and the Pont du Gard • The services of a tour manager

4 5

8

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£529 per person

Iceland – Reykjavik & the Northern Lights

£1,049 per person

Washington, New York & Niagara Falls

Departing November, December 2014 and January to March 2015

Departing September and October 2014

Join us in the ‘Land of Fire and Ice’ to discover one of Europe’s most surprising cities, to discover volcanoes, waterfalls, thermal pools, geysers and glaciers, and go in search of the fabled Aurora Borealis!

The plunging Falls at Niagara, the heart of historic America and all the breathtaking mesmerising magic of New York - ‘the City that Never Sleeps’ – combined in one unforgettable holiday!

Our price includes:

Our price includes:

• Return Economy Class flights to Reykjavik from Bristol • Airport-hotel transfers • Three or four nights’ bed & breakfast accommodation in the Guesthouse Borgartún (other hotels available at a supplement)

• Guided tour of Reykjavik • Search for the Northern Lights escorted tour • One suitcase allowance per person • The services of a tour manager

• Return flights from Birmingham • Six nights’ hotel accommodation • Fly to Toronto and travel south to historic Harrisburg • Explore all-powerful Washington, DC, Philadelphia and glittering New York

• Journey through beautiful up-state New York • Gaze in awe at mighty Niagara • Comfortable coach travel • The services of a tour manager

0843 487 5833 Quote BEP www.newmarket.travel/bep Calls cost 5ppm from a BT landline. You may also be charged a connection fee. Mobile and other providers’ charges may vary. Operated by Newmarket Air Holidays Ltd. ABTA V7812, ATOL protected 2325. Prices are per person, based on 2 sharing. Subject to availability. Single supplements apply. Terms and conditions apply. These suppliers are independent of Local World. When you respond, the holiday supplier and Local World may contact you with offers/services that may be of interest. Please give your mobile or email details if you wish to receive such offers by SMS or email. We will not give your details to other companies without your permission.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 35


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By Adam Burrows

Clubbing Listings BAMBI LEGS PRESENTS THUMPER TRINITY CENTRE

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veryone in Bristol loves festivals don’t they? While Brisfest is taking a year off, the city offers plenty of great options this year, with everything from Love Saves The Day and Tokyo Dub to ArcTanGent offering killer line-ups temptingly close to home. Meanwhile, a team of party promoters based in Bristol have made it their mission to bring the festival experience out of the fields and into the clubs. Bambi Legs – tagline “music to make you weak at the knees” – launched in 2010, offering mixed line-ups of live music and DJs, plus art, food and walkabout performers, including singers, magicians and a fortune teller. In the promoters’ own words, the goal was to create an environment “where people can fully break their minds away from the stress of the concrete jungle we are living in”. This weekend sees the Bambi Legs team take

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their vision to the next level. Thumper – a co-production with London party crew TruSoundTribe – looks like being a genuine extravaganza, bringing wild décor, arcade amusements, a café and mini-cinema to the gothic splendour of the recently redeveloped Trinity Centre. Headliners are veteran UK garage duo Oxide and Neutrino, best remembered for their 2000 smash Bound 4 Da Reload, which was based around a craftily employed sample of the theme from Casualty. They’re joined by a raft of festival and club scene favourites, including ska fusion band Fat Sandwich, jungle revivalist Aries, mashup king Flash Harry and underground reggae artists Papa B and Zico. ■ Trinity Centre, Trinity Road, Bristol on Saturday, May 3, 10pm-6am, £12 advance, http://www.bambilegs.co.uk.

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●●●●● HEAR IT 37


By Paul Riley

Classical Listings REALLY CLASSICAL RELAY BRISTOL MUSIC CLUB

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Duo Domenico

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he 2012 BBC Proms embraced the Olympics with a grand opening night baton relay shouldered by four conductors. Now Bristol gets its own slice of “Olympic legacy” as the Really Classical Relay fires the starting pistol on a three-day extravaganza featuring seven internationally known musicians specialising in period performance, and a schedule that makes most marathons look like a stroll in the park. In the driving seat is Bristol-born cellist and gamba player Jonathan Rees, whose credits range from the Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment and La Nuova Musica to the world premiere of Stockhausen’s four-helicopter opera Mittwoch aus LIcht. He’s also one half of Duo Domenico, winner of the audience prize at last year’s York Early Music International Young Artists Competition; and the duo provides the

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38 HEAR IT ● ● ● ● ●

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

backbone of the weekend alongside musicians who’ve played with the likes of Amsterdam Baroque, the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic and Paul McCreesh’s Gabrieli Players. The focus is on music written pretty much between the deaths of Bach and Schubert – a mix of off-piste rarities by the likes of Jadin and Wraniski, anniversary CPE Bach, and evergreens such as Schubert’s sublime String Quintet in C. Mornings are child friendly with a little puppet-making, and the whole Olympiad is bookended by Mozart (who’s never far away). Drop in and out, pay what you like (!) and there’s food and drink to keep the stamina up. For the full “running” order (and a cute cartoon) check out www.reallyclassicalrelay.co.uk. ■ Really Classical Relay. Friday, May 9, to Sunday, May 11, Bristol Music Club. See listings for details.

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WEEKEND 39


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40 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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Starring role for Efron’s torso

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s a long-running Antipodean soap opera repeatedly reminds us: “Everybody needs good neighbours with a little understanding”. The married 30-somethings at the centre of Nicholas Stoller’s potty-mouthed comedy wish they were so fortunate. They wake one morning to discover the new neighbours are booze-guzzling fraternity boys, who throw raucous parties for their fellow students and hold barbecues on the front lawn. Relations between the two households deteriorate in the blink of a bloodshot eye, lighting the fuse on a battle of wits and mean-spirited pranks that provides Bad Neighbours with its flimsy premise. Seth Rogen might have top billing on the film’s posters but it’s Zac Efron’s naked torso which scene-steals to the point of absurdity, reaching a delirious crescendo with some gratuitous topless modelling by the High School Musical heartthrob during a touchy feely coda. In the spirit of gender equality, the script warrants a topless scene from leading lady Rose Byrne for a protracted gross-out gag about her first-time mother urgently needing to express breast milk to ease the pressure in her swollen lady cushions. “Be a man and milk me!” she barks. Lactose-intolerant audiences should avert their gaze.

Mac Radner (Rogen) and his wife Kelly (Byrne) have just welcomed a beautiful daughter into the world and struggle to cope with the responsibilities of parenthood. When the house next door goes up for sale and a fraternity led by president Teddy Sanders (Efron) and second-in-command Pete (Dave Franco) moves in, the Radners fear the worst. They pay a visit to the new neighbours and politely ask Teddy to keep the noise down. In return, the couple promise not to call the cops at the first sign of trouble but to approach Teddy to resolve any issues. During a party, Mac and Kelly break their promise and dial 911. A neighbourhood cop (Hannibal Buress) turns up at the fraternity’s front door. Teddy is incensed and masterminds a suitable punishment for the Radners’ betrayal. In retaliation, Mac and Kelly plot ways to force the dean, Carol Gladstone (Lisa Kudrow), to evict the students from their once peaceful community. Bad Neighbours goes some way to besmirching Efron’s screen image as the wholesome, squeaky clean boy next door. Rogen has played a pot-smoking dude before and he gamely sheds his clothes for toe-curling scenes of coitus interruptus with Byrne. Scenes inside the frat house, where Pete inspires devotion from pledges with a heartfelt speech are surprisingly tame despite the 15 certificate.

BAD NEIGHBOURS (15, 97 mins). Starring Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, Rose Byrne, Dave Franco, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Lisa Kudrow.

VERDICT: Naked torsos, from the leading men and ladies, plus plenty of mean-spirited pranks and foul-mouthed one-liners – yet it’s all surprisingly tame given the 15 certificate.

Score ★★★✩✩

from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 41


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42 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

■ ������ �� ����� ����� �������� ����� ��� ��� ������ ■ ������� �� ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ������ ����������� ����� ������� ■ ��� ������� ���������� � �� ����� ��� ������ ����� ����� ����� ��� ����� �������� ��������� ������ ����� ����� ����� ������� ■ ��� ������� ���������� � ����� ����� ������ ����� ����� ����� ��� ����� �������� ������� ����� ������� ■ ��� ������� ��������� �� ����� ��� ������ ����� ����� ����� ����� ■ ���� ����� �� ����� ��� ������ ������ ■ ������������� �� ����� ��� ����� ����� ��� ����� �������� ��������� ����� ����� ����� CINEWORLD ��������� �������� ��� ���� ��� ����� ■ �������� ����� �� �� ����� ������ ����� ����� ���� ■ ��� ���������� ���� ����� �������� ��������� ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ���� ���� ■ �������� ���� ��������� ����� ����� ���� ■ ������ ���� ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ������� ������ ����� ���������� ���� ■ ������� ����� ����� ������ ��������� ����� ����� ����� ���� ■ ������� ���� ����� ������ ��������� ����� ����� ����� ���� ■ ����� �������� ���� ����� ����� ������ ��������� ����� ����� ���� ■ ������������� ����� ��� ����� ����� ����� ������� ������ ����� ���� ����� ����� ��������� ���� ■ ��� ����� ����� �����

from Friday, May 2, 2014

BLUE RUIN (15, 90 mins) Once the first drop of blood is spilled in Jeremy Saulnier’s impeccably crafted revenge thriller – and it’s a stomach-churning spray – we’re completely in the writer-director’s grip, unable to take our eyes from the screen as his tense game of cat and mouse reaches its shocking yet emotionally satisfying conclusion. Score ★★★★✩

����� ������ ������������� ����� ����� ���� ■ ��� ������� ���������� � ����� ����� ������ ��������� ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ���� ������� ��������� ■ ��� ���� ����� ����� ��� ����� ���� ■ ���� ����� ��� ����� ����� ����� ��� ����� ��� ����� �������� ����� ����� ����� ���� ■ ��������� ����� ��� ���� ■ ��� � ��� ����� ������ ��������� ������ ��������� ����� ������������� ����� ��������� ����� ����� ��������� ���� ■ ������� �������� ��� ������ ������� ����� ����� ����� ����� ��������� ���� ■ ������� ���� ������ ��� ������� ������ ���� ■ ��� ���� ����� ��� ������� ����� ■ ������� ��� ������� � ����� ����� ����� ��� ���� ■ �������� ���������� ��� ��� ������ ����� ��� ������� ������� ■ �� ������� � ������� ��� ������� ������� ■ ������ ���� ������� ������� ■ ������ �������� ��� ���� ����� ����� ������� �������� ����������

THE CUBE ���� �� ������ ���������� ��� ���� ��� ����� ■ ���� ������� ��� ��������� ���� ������� ���� ����� �� ���� � ��� ��� ��� ���� ■ ������� ��� ������

���� ���� ���� ���� ■ ���������� ����� ��� ���� CURZON ��� ������ ����� ��������� ��� ����� ������� ■ ��� ���� ����� ����� ������� ����� ��� ����� ������������������ ���� ■ ���� ����� ����������� ����� ��� ����� ��� ���� ■ ������ ��� ����������� ����� ■ ����� ���� ����� ��� ���� ����� ����� ��� ������� ODEON ����� ��� �������� ��� ���� ��� ����� ■ ��� ���������� ���� ��������� ����� ���� ■ ��� ������� ���������� � ����� ����� ����� ��������� ���� ■ ��� ������� ���������� � �� ����� ����� ������ ��������� ���� ■ ��� ���� ����� ����� ��� ���� ■ ���� ����� ��� ���� ■ ��� ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ���� ■ ��� � ��� ����� ����� ��������� ���� ■ ������ ���� ����� ������ ��������� ���� ■ ���������� ��� ��� ������ ����� ��� ������� ������� ■ ��� ��������� ��� ����� ����� ������� ORPHEUS ����������� ������ ��������� �������� ��� ���� ��� ���� ■ ������� ���� ����� ����� ����� ��� ����� ����� ���� ■ ��� ���������� ����

������� ����� ����� ���������� ���� ■ ������������� ����� ����� ����� ������������� ����� ���� ■ ��� ���� ����� ����� ��� ����� ����� ������� ����� ����� ���������� ����� ��� ����� ���� ■ ��� � ��� ������� ������ ���� ■ ������� ���� ������ ��� ������� �����

SHOWCASE ���������� �� ������’� ��������� �������� ��� ���� ��� ����� ■ ������� ���� ������ ��� ��� ������ ����� ����� ��������� ������ ���� ■ ��� ����� ����� ����� ����� ������ ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ������ ��� ����� ■ ���� ����� ��� ������ ����� ����� ����� � ��������� ������ ����� ����� ����� ■ ������� ��������� � �� ����� ����� ������ ����� ����� ����� ■ ��� ����� ���� ���� ����� ������ ����� ���� �������� �������� ■ ���’� ��� ���� ���� ����� ����� ���� ■ ��������� ����� ��� ������ ����� ����� ����� �������� ��������� ������ ����� ������� ■ ������� ��������� � ����� ����� ������ ����� ����� ����� ������� ■ ������ �� ���� ����� ������� ■ ������� �� ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ����� ■ ��� ���� ����� ����� ��� ������ ����� ����� ����� ����� ��������� ����� ����� ���� ■ ��� ���������� ���� ������� ����� �������� ���������


BRICK MANSIONS (15, 91 mins)

POMPEII 3D (12A, 104 mins)

The last project completed by actor Paul Walker before his death last November is a fitting swansong for the star of The Fast & The Furious series, crammed full of outrageous action sequences and high-octane cars. He’s joined by David Belle, whose exhibition of martial arts and acrobatics is stunning. Score ★★★✩✩

British director Paul WS Anderson embraces the hoary cliches of the disaster movie with this unintentionally amusing swords and sandals epic set in the shadow of a grumbling Mount Vesuvius. Kiefer Sutherland plays murderous Roman senator Corvus amid action scenes that are both thrilling and hilariously preposterous. Score ★★✩✩✩

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

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●●●●● SEE IT 43


Modern spin on jungle classic fails to impress

S

TARZAN 3D (PG, 99 mins) Featuring the voices of Kellan Lutz and Spencer Locke.

VERDICT: Tarzan is a slick yet unsatisfying reworking that struggles to marry the legend with a perplexing subtext about mankind’s unsustainable depletion of the Earth’s resources.

Score ★★✩✩✩

44 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

ince his debut on the pages of a 1912 magazine, Edgar Rice Burroughs’s fictional ape man has swung into the affections of successive generations thanks to re-imaginings on the small and big screens. Former Olympic swimmer Johnny Weissmuller famously portrayed the heroic king of the jungle during the 1930s and 1940s flanked by his plucky chimpanzee sidekick, Cheeta. And most recently, Disney immortalised the literary myth as an animation feature, a short-lived Broadway musical, spin-off TV series and video games. Now it falls to German filmmaker Reinhard Klooss to put a distinctly modern spin on Burroughs’s source text. Don’t be misled by the colourful visuals of this computer-animated adventure and early scenes of comical monkey business. This adaptation isn’t a cutesy caper aimed predominantly at children. Tragedy stalks every frame and a couple of sequences, which result in the demise of pivotal characters, could be too scary for the very young. To enforce the film’s modern sensibilities, a rousing burst of Coldplay’s anthem Paradise accompanies Tarzan and Jane’s romantic swim, replete with longing glances as the protagonists splash about in the water. John Greystoke (voiced by Mark Deklin) ventures deep into the jungle with his wife Alice (Jaime Ray Newman) and their young son to search for the impact site of an ancient

from Friday, May 2, 2014

meteorite, which is rumoured to possess immense power. By chance, as the Greystokes leave the jungle in their helicopter, they stumble upon the meteorite, but magnetic interference propels the craft into the mountainside, killing everyone on board except the young Greystoke heir. The child is rescued and raised by apes and is re-Christened Tarzan. As an adult, Tarzan (now voiced by Kellan Lutz) encounters humans once again when beautiful environmentalist Jane Porter (Spencer Locke) arrives in the jungle with William Clayton (Trevor St John), the Machiavellian new CEO of Greystoke Energies. He also seeks the elusive meteorite and its limitless power and hopes that Jane’s father, Jim (Les Bubb), will help him. “That’s a very pretty daughter you’ve got there. We wouldn’t want anything to happen to her, would we?” snarls Clayton. Lutz beats his chest on cue to deliver his hero’s iconic cry and stilted dialogue including, “Me Tarzan, you Jane”. Locke essays a spunky heroine, but she’s poorly served by the flimsy script, while St John’s pantomime villain encourages the audience to hiss and boo his every underhand move. The introduction of the mysterious meteorite to the jungle is an unwelcome distraction that draws parallels with the extra-terrestrial mumbo jumbo in the fourth Indiana Jones film. An unhappy marriage of something old, something new that leaves us feeling blue.


       

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WEEKEND 45


PICK OF THE WEEK: Banksy: The Room In The Elephant, Thursday, May 8, to Saturday, May 10, Tobacco Factory Theatres. See listings for details.

46 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, May 2, 2014


The Banksy effect on stage and screen A play about a Bristolian and written by a Bristolian is coming home after a highly successful national tour. Natalie Banyard reports.

C

reated during Tobacco Factory Theatre’s A Play A Pie And A Pint series in 2012, Banksy: The Room In The Elephant returns home to Bristol next week following a phenomenally successful national tour. Bristol’s internationally famed guerrilla artist Bansky has become as synonymous with his home city as Brunel’s Suspension Bridge or Aardman’s Wallace and Gromit. In recent weeks, a row over the ownership of a new Banksy work removed from a Bristol street by the leader of Broad Plain Boys Club has made headlines around the world, such is the mania surrounding the shadowy street artist. Back in 2011, Did Banksy’s latest work bring misery to a homeless man? was the headline that inspired Bristol writer Tom Wainwright and Fringe First-winning director Emma Callander to create Banksy: The Room In The Elephant. Banksy was in LA for the Oscars when he sprayed THIS LOOKS A BIT LIKE AN ELEPHANT on to an old water tank. He had a point, too: it did look a bit like an elephant. To one man, however, it looked like home. The tank was home to long-term vagrant, former street performer and local legend, Tachowa Covington, who, over seven years, had furnished it with carpets, a stove and even CCTV. As news spread of Banksy’s latest work, a consortium of art dealers repossessed the water tank. Suddenly, Tachowa was homeless again. Gary Beadle, best known as EastEnders’ Paul Trueman as well as for acclaimed roles in the Royal Court’s Sucker Punch and Chichester Festival Theatre’s Blue Remembered Hills, gives a superb performance in this story about creating something from nothing and then having it taken away in the name of art. This play questions who has the right to

call someone’s home a work of art, or – for that matter – turn someone’s life into a piece of theatre. Tom Wainwright recalls: “In the summer of 2012, Emma Callander called me and asked me if I wanted to write a play about a guy who was evicted from the home he’d made himself in a disused water tank in LA after Banksy wrote something silly on the side of it. “I didn’t really. I thought there was something a bit grubby about ‘telling the story’ of a real person who had been dispossessed, when really what he wanted was to have his home and land returned to him – not have me write a play about him. “I still wrote it, mind. I assuaged my grubbiness by writing about it: that I was part of this land grab, not just for Tachowa’s property but his ‘story’. “I began to follow my nose into a giant can of worms, where truth and fiction lead each other on a merry little dance.” The production formed part of Tobacco Factory Theatre’s A Play A Pie And A Pint series and was an immediate hit. Now it returns home after an acclaimed sell-out run at the Edinburgh Fringe and a successful UK tour. For the very first time, Banksy: The Room In The Elephant will be followed by Something From Nothing, documentary maker Hal Samples’ short film about Tachowa’s experience with Banksy, edited from material gathered over the past seven years. Audiences have been delighted by the combination of Tom’s play juxtaposed with Hal’s new film. “It seems wonderfully appropriate that our imagined telling of Tachowa’s journey is now presented in tandem with the truth,” concludes Tom. “A fitting conclusion, perhaps, to this story.” Written by a Bristol playwright about a Bristol street artist and a pairing that is being premiered in a Bristol theatre: this is a real success story for the city and it’s thrilling that it’s coming home.

I thought there was ❝ something a bit

grubby about ‘telling the story’ of a real person who had been dispossessed, when really what he wanted was to have his home and land returned to him

from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 47


Theatre Don’t Miss

LET IT BE THE BRISTOL HIPPODROME

A

Beatles jukebox musical and West End hit, Let It Be is about as good as it gets for fans of the Fab Four. The spectacular theatrical concert showcases the music of the world’s most successful rock’n’roll band, charting the band’s meteoric rise from their humble beginnings in Liverpool’s Cavern Club, through the height of Beatlemania, to their later studio hits. Le It Be is packed with more than 40 of The Beatles’ greatest numbers performed live with terrific panache by the talented musicians. The

show features early tracks, including Twist And Shout and Drive My Car, as well as global mega-hits Yesterday and Hey Jude. But this is not just a tribute show. There’s newsreel footage projected on screens, including the hysterical teenage girls at the Shea Stadium concert, as well as set and costume changes reflecting The Beatles’ ever-changing sartorial style.

NOIR: A DICK PRIVET MYSTERY THE WARDROBE THEATRE

F

wenty-five years after its premiere, Max Stafford-Clark’s acclaimed revival of Timberlake Wertenbaker’s Our Country’s Good remains as wonderfully poignant and terrifyingly relevant as ever. Based on Thomas Keneally’s novel The Playmaker, Our Country’s Good is the true story of a ragbag cast of convicts, who put on a play under the guidance of an earnest young marine officer, Ralph Clark. Highlighting the power of drama to change lives for the good, we see the barriers between captors and captives break down and they start to discover each other, both on stage and behind the scenes. Our Country’s Good premiered at the Royal Court Theatre in 1988 before transferring to the West End and Broadway, winning major awards on both sides of the Atlantic. This new production by the play’s original director has been hailed as a triumph and comes to Bristol Old Vic as part of an international tour.

ollowing the success of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Croon productions returns with another stylised, kitsch and immersive piece of puppetry theatre. A pastiche of film noir, Noir: A Dick Privet Mystery features rod marionettes inhabiting the streets of an American city in the late 1940s. As mist and steam rise from the sidewalks, private detective Dick Privet stares through his office window, waiting for a case. It soon comes in the form of a wealthy businessman desperate to find a missing person. But Dick discovers that he’s not the only one hunting for Jonny Volent – there’s more to this case than meets the eye. Dick soon becomes embroiled with nightclub singer and femme fatale, Lola Me-me, as the two of them witness a murder and try to out-fox the heavies. Then there is the mysterious man calling himself The Collector on their tail. Why does everyone want to find Jonny? What has The Collector paid for? Will Dick Privet solve the case? This clever, funny and entertaining puppet pastiche is a must-see.

■ Wednesday, May 7, to Saturday, May 10. See listings for details.

■ Monday, May 5, to Friday, May 9. See listings for details.

■ Monday, May 5, to Saturday, May 10. See listings for details.

OUR COUNTRY’S GOOD BRISTOL OLD VIC

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48 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

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WEEKEND 49


50 WEEKEND

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Exceptional art right across the city

Follow Me, by Jeppe Hein, in the gardens of the Royal Fort House, Woodland Road. Picture: Jamie Woodley

PICK OF THE WEEK Bristol Art Weekender, Friday, May 2, to Monday, May 5, Arnolfini, Spike Island, RWA and elsewhere. See listings for details.

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his bank holiday weekend sees an explosion of intriguing, adventurous visual art across Bristol. Under the banner of the first-ever Bristol Art Weekender you’ll find a wealth of open studios, talks, events, exhibitions and installations at venues around town, plus performance, sound, film, painting, sculpture and permanent public artworks. A mountain of intriguing art-related fare, in short – and it’s all free. The collaborative festival is produced by Bristol arts programmers Situations, in partnership with Bristol arts venues and producers, including Arnolfini, Spike Island (whose hugely popular annual open weekend forms part of the Weekender programme), the Royal West of England Academy, Antlers Gallery, Bristol City Council and others. Among the highlights, artist Annika Kahrs willfillthe13thcenturyLordMayor’sChapelon Park Street with more than 60 songbirds, which will be serenaded on the hour by a concert pianist. Elsewhere, at the former Old Woodside Press on Islington Road in Southville you’ll find a showcase of work by a broad church of Bristol

52 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

andGlasgow-basedartists,whichwasrecentlyon show as part of the Glasgow International Art Festival. Turner Prize-winning artist Jeremy Deller, whose complex and brilliant exhibition English Magic is currently in situ at Bristol Museum and Art Gallery, will deliver a Sunday lecture at the New Room, John Wesley’s Chapel in Broadmead, where he’ll challenge audiences to think about when and how art takes place. And Bristol arts programmers Hand In Glove present Surfacing, an exhibition of sculpture, installation,print and live performance by three emerging artists, at locations around Redcliffe Wharf, including the atmospheric Benjamin Perry Boathouse. There’s plenty of family fun in the mix too. Down on the Harbourside you’ll find a vintage mobile cinema designed specifically for children, while across town in Lockleaze there will be a community bake and programme of live music, sports and demonstration bakes in a temporary pavilion in Lockleaze. With 16 arts organisations and 130 artists, it all makes for an impressive feat of co-ordination.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

So how did this all come about? “There is a renewed energy among Bristol’s visual arts community,” explains BAW director Claire Doherty. “Bristol is stealing a march on other major cities – it’s become the place to do things differently, and the visual arts are no exception. The city has always had a very strong artist community, but it’s only recently that the galleries, museums, arts producers and artist groups have begun to see how we could work together. “There’s a watershed moment in the growth of a successful city, where arts venues’ concerns about protecting their territory give way to a larger vision. We saw it in Glasgow in the 1990s and in Liverpool in 2008 [when the city was European Capital of Culture]. Now is Bristol’s time. Situations has brought home its international experience of producing collaborative events to light the spark of the Weekender – but it simply wouldn’t have taken flight had it not been for the talent and quality of the projects and programmes each of the partners has put forward. This is a real chance to experience some exceptional art across the city.”


ROAR! VIEW ART GALLERY

weekend: visitors are invited to wander in and chat to the artists about their creative practices, and maybe even pick up a piece of art straight from the source. It all kicks off this Friday evening with a preview from 6-9pm, followed by an opening-night party. The rest of the Open programme includes several mini-exhibitions around the building, a playful roaming performance by Spike resident Edwina Ashton, and screenings of short films for children at locations across town. Pop-up cafés around the building, meanwhile, will keep culture-imbibing visitors happily fuelled all weekend. ■ Saturday, May 3, to Monday, May 5. See listings for details.

■ Friday, May 2, to Sunday, June 29. See listings for details.

SPIKE ISLAND OPEN 2014 SPIKE ISLAND

S

pike Island’s hugely popular annual open studios event returns over the May bank holiday, and this year it also forms part of the programme for the fine-looking Bristol Arts Weekender (see also Pick of the Week). Spike is home to more than 70 artists, as well as many other creative practitioners, including designers, film-makers, animators and photographers. It also houses its own print studio, while the University of the West of England’s fine art course is also based on site. A welter of creative activity, in short: and the Open event is the best opportunity you’ll get all year to sample all this artistic energy for yourself. Many of the artists open their studios over the

P

op artist Paul Oz returns to View after two sell-out appearances in group shows last year. Oz creates vast paintings inspired by some of the most awesome animals on Earth. He applies the paint very thickly – 2cm in places – to give his paintings a 3D effect, as if the animals are leaping out of the canvas at you. Alongside his dramatic animal paintings, the show will also feature Paul’s Skullptures – recreations of animal skulls, using an eclectic combination of materials, including metal from F1 cars. Pictured here is Senna, a replica of the skull of an American lion – the biggest cat ever to have lived, which died out some 11,000 years ago.

BRISTOL SAVAGES 104TH ANNUAL EXHIBITION THE WIGWAM, RED LODGE

B

ristol Savages, the prestigious and historic arts society that marks its 110th birthday this year, hosts its annual exhibition this month at its home, The Wigwam, in the grounds of The Red Lodge. You’ll find around 130 paintings by members (such as this by Terry Culpan, pictured), on view and on sale. Bristol Savages now numbers more than 400 members “concerned with the pursuit of the fine arts, painting, music, poetry, other performing arts and good fellowship”. Most of those who may call themselves a “Savage” are lay members and wear green lapel feathers. A smaller number are blue feather entertainers (singers, instrumentalists, raconteurs, magicians…) and even fewer belong to the red feather category, the artists. Each week from October to May, the artists come for a two-hour sketching session on a subject chosen on the evening by the chairman. When finished, the paintings are put on display for inspection. Entertainment is then provided by members. ■ Saturday, May 3, to Saturday, May 17. See listings for details.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 53


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54 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

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WEEKEND 55 )+/ 1 ++' +*(&*   -- from Friday, May 2, 2014


Frank smartens up and delves into deeper topics

PICK OF THE WEEK Frank Skinner: Man in a Suit, Friday, May 2 & Saturday, May 3, Colston Hall, Bristol, 7.30pm, £29.56, 0844 887 1500, www.colstonhall.org.

A

recent Guardian review of Frank Skinner’s brand new show dubs the veteran Brum comic the “clown prince of laddism” – but also notes that Skinner has “smartened up his act” this time around, and not just via the sartorial elegance alluded to in the show’s name. Instead of Skinner’s customary earthy humour, his new show Man in a Suit looks to more sophisticated subject matters – including celebrity, homelessness and Japanese poetry. “The liveliest moments come when he’s just riffing with the crowd,” noted The Guardian’s reviewer, “enjoying their idiosyncrasies,

56 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

casually revealing what a quick-witted fun-lover he can be”. Skinner has Bristol links: he used to compere the Fleece & Firkin’s popular Castlemaine XXXX Comedy Club in the very early 1990s – a hugely popular, standing-room-only event pitched somewhere between a music gig and sports event. A while before that, Skinner began his career in stand-up following a “road to Damascus moment” visiting the Edinburgh Festival. His first gig followed in 1987 at the Birmingham Anglers Association, where, as he puts it, “I died on my arse”. Skinner was rewarded for his relentless

from Friday, May 2, 2014

dedication to the live circuit in 1991 when he won the prestigious Perrier Award, beating Jack Dee and Eddie Izzard to the gong. A few years later, Skinner and his Fantasy Football League partner David Baddiel famously recorded Three Lions with the Lightning Seeds for Euro ’96. More recently, he has reunited with Baddiel for several series of Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned: he now fronts the TV show Room 101, as well as hosting his own news chat show, Frank Skinner’s Opinionated. In these gigs, expect plenty of such opinions – plus some well-honed insights, plenty of sharp comedy and one very sharp suit.


ED BYRNE: ROARING FORTIES THE PLAYHOUSE, WESTON-SUPER-MARE ■ We’d definitely recommend the short trip to Weston’s elegant Playhouse Theatre for this: an evening with Ed Byrne, the shaggy-maned surrealist oft to be seen delivering his confused aperçus on life on Mock the Week and elsewhere. We were very impressed by our last view of Byrne, at Bristol’s Tobacco Factory: “A lot of wry self-deprecation and, rather like his compatriot Dylan Moran, it’s endearing, sharp, and always felicitously surreal in its choice of language,” we noted approvingly. “Very watchable and very likeable... a sharp, very no-frills comedian: you won’t see a guitar, a puppet or some shouty graphics anywhere near his set. He does befuddlement like almost no one else, and to spend a couple of hours in co-befuddlement with him is a delight.” Latest show Roaring Forties finds Byrne embracing middle age with open arms and discovering that life does, indeed, begin at 40.

FRIDAY ■ ��������� ������ ����

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■ Ed Byrne: Roaring Forties, Saturday, May 3, The Playhouse, High St, Weston-super-Mare, 8pm, £23.50. 01934 645544, www.theplayhouse.co.uk.

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SATURDAY ■ ��������� ������ ����

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THE NOISE NEXT DOOR THE LANTERN , COLSTON HALL ■ Colston Hall’s intimate second-string venue, The Lantern, welcomes this brilliant sketch comedy quintet, who use audience suggestions to create quick-fire songs, sketches and general silliness. Sketch and improvised comedy is a booming scene at the moment, with troupes such as Pappy’s and Idiots of Ants also making waves, but The Noise Next Door are probably the best in the country at this sort of thing, as witnessed by six sell-out shows at the Edinburgh Fringe and regular headline slots at comedy and theatre festivals across the country.

The Noise’s off-the-cuff, in-the-moment improv skills are astounding. For a taster of their prodigious comic and musical talents, visit their website www.thenoisenextdoor.co.uk. Among the treats you’ll find is an extraordinary sequence created (as ever) in seconds, in which a tortoise-handling service is created – with none other than Her Majesty the Queen as handler-inchief. ■ The Noise Next Door Thursday, May 8, The Lantern, Colston Hall, Bristol, 8pm, £13.98. 0844 887 1500, www.colstonhall.org.

THURSDAY ■ ������ �������� �������� ��������� ��������� ������

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 57


WHO IS TOM DITTO? DANNY WALLACE

Going green to create a healthier body

■Who is Tom Ditto? is the second novel from achingly charming author, journalist, presenter and all round good egg, Bath-born Danny Wallace. Tom is the mildly depressive early morning newsreader of a local London radio station. So far, so innocuous. Everything changes for our humdrum hero when he is suddenly abandoned by his long-term girlfriend, who – despite appearances – insists she has not left him and instructs Tom to go on with life as normal. Finding out how to do that sees Tom following strangers through the streets of the capital and peeking into the lives of others in a bid to answer his own questions. The novel is laugh-out-loud funny, an easy and yet artfully penetrating read. i€ Up€v Xhkp

■ Who Is Tom Ditto? by Danny Wallace is published in hardback by Ebury Press, priced £12.99 (eBook £6.49).

BOOK OF THE WEEK: Fat Man to Green Man by Ira Rainey

F

rom Fat Man To Green Man is an intriguing, funny and sometimes poignant account of Bristol author Ira Rainey’s long-distance running experience to date and is named for the local race that forms the core subject – the Green Man Ultra, a 46-mile course around the Community Forest Path. It’s a story that has also earned him the silver award for running books at this year’s Running Awards, and a place on the short list in the New Writer of the Year category in The British Sports Book Awards. The book tells the story of how this lazy, overweight, junk-food eating, beer-swilling 40-something was jarred out of his unhealthy, apathetic cycle when a close friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Ira had enjoyed running for years prior to this. In fact, in 2005 he joined Bitton Road Runners, which turned out to have the single biggest impact on his running. He says: “I met a whole new group of perfectly normal like-minded people of all abilities; I ran more, trained better and raced harder. Over the years that followed I ran in countless 5k and 10k races, 15 half marathons and completed three marathons. I even actually enjoyed some of them. I had now become a proper runner.” But he was still fat; obese, in fact, at 16st 6lbs.

Suddenly, this delusional optimist who thought everything would always be just fine, realised he had a responsibility to himself and his family to look after his body. But having ticked the marathon box, he was after a new challenge – and he settled on The Green Man Ultra. So, from August 2012 to March 2013 Ira kept a record of every training run; the weather, who he was with, where they went – key details which formed a good chunk of the book. Ira finished the race in nine hours and 48 minutes. “When I crossed the line I was ecstatic and the sense of achievement was bonkers,” he says. But, although that’s the end of the book, it’s not the end of the story, since Ira intends to tackle the 95-mile Glasgow to Fort William West Highland Run at some point.

i€ Sh{l Mkzly

■ Fat Man to Green Man is published by Tangent Books priced £9.99, and as an eBook for £3.99.

ECHO’S BONES SAMUEL BECKETT ■ “It is a nightmare... it gives me the jim-jams.” So wrote Charles Prentice, Samuel Beckett’s editor, upon receipt of this singular work. It was intended to conclude his collection of interrelated short stories More Pricks Than Kicks, but by comparison to those absurd, but essentially straightforward tales, Echo’s Bones truly is enough to give anyone the jim-jams. A triptych of surreal conversations between Belacqua Shuah, a dead man, and the people he encounters in a strange state of limbo, the text features no discernible narrative or logic, yet is nevertheless a fascinating stream of consciousness, so dense with word-play and literary allusion that the end-notes run longer than the story itself. It would certainly not make for the most accessible entry point for anyone new to Beckett’s work, but for scholars and aficionados, it is a must. i€ Rhtlz Zvipuzvu

■ Echo’s Bones by Samuel Beckett is published in hardback by Faber & Faber, priced £20 (eBook £12.99). Available now.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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WEEKEND 59


Property of the week

Glorious views across the Severn vale

T

he presence here of an extensive terraced patio and the hillside location means it’s possible to enjoy the rest of the lawned garden spread out below, but also the wider view across the Severn vale. Chertsey Cottage is one of a clutch of mostly period houses in the hamlet of Yate Rocks, nestled between Yate, Chipping Sodbury and Wickwar. Known as such due to its historical links with the local quarries, the hamlet is reached along a small lane. This house, on the market for £855,000 with Edison Ford (01454 316718), has remained in the same ownership for nearly 40 years, during which time it has been extended and improved. Briefly, accommodation comprises a kitchen/breakfast room, two reception rooms, five bedrooms and two bath/shower rooms. There is also an adjoining annex that includes a

60 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

living room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Traditional in style, and with lots of wooden floors, exposed stone walls and ceiling timbers, the cottage has been decorated in pale and neutral colours. There are wooden cupboards and a Aga cooker in the kitchen, sliding patio doors that open to the terrace from the living room, and a brick fireplace with gas log-effect stove in the snug. Upstairs, the master bedroom has windows on two sides taking best advantage of that wonderful view. There’s also a range of fitted wardrobes and double doors opening to a shower room and dressing area. This shower room is also connected to another bedroom. The house is set in more than an acre of mature garden, with lots of trees and shrubs, plenty of space for parking, a summer house, which is currently used as a music room, and additional outbuildings.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

CHERTSEY COTTAGE Yate Rocks, South Gloucestershire

Six-bedroom detached £855,000 Edison Ford, 01454 316718


Raised beds double as seats Gardening Ali Smith from Bristol-based Secret Garden Landscaping, sings the praises of raised beds, which can double as planters and seating areas

W

e all want to make the most of the space in our homes and that includes the back garden, whether it is a large piece of land or a small back yard. But no matter the size of the space, gardens usually have certain features in common, such as a place to sit and socialise, plants, an area for the kids and usually a shed. It’s just that the bigger the garden, the more spaced out these areas tend to be. A great way to save space is to have built-in raised beds with seating. We often build them with sleepers, or with blocks and render. Sleepers are relatively quick to install and can be sat on just as they are. We tend to lay the sleepers flat so there is more room to sit; with two sleeper beds like this facing each other, quite a few people can sit and chat even before you get the garden furniture out. This type of raised bed is really useful if you have a teenager in the family; it is a place they can relax with their friends in the safety of your back garden – without fear of them damaging the good furniture! Building a raised bed and seating with blocks and render is a lovely way of adding a feature to your garden. It looks contemporary and can be painted to suit your taste. Firstly, just like a wall, a good foundation is required. Next, we build up the courses of blocks. Usually we go for three blocks placed on their sides, giving a height of just over 2ft. Like sleepers, they can be laid flat, giving extra seating opportunities, but this can leave you with little space for planting and needs double the amount of blocks. Once the basic construction is complete, we add the beading and then the first coat of render, which we allow to set for a day before returning and applying the final coat, ensuring a smooth finish. It pays to put in the soil and compost at this point (before painting) as you don’t want a newly finished surface all splattered with mud.

One of the advantages of making raised beds with rendered blocks is that you can choose the colour. Most people go for white, but I like to use a bit of colour. Another advantage of raised beds is that you can make the soil up from scratch. A lot of gardens in Bristol have a clay-based soil that is slightly alkaline, so if you want to grow acid-loving plants, you can in a raised bed. By the way, plants needing an acidic soil should always be moistened with rain water as our tap water is also on the alkaline side of neutral.

Other plus points of raised beds are you don’t have to bend down to weed and plant; you can grow plants that need containing, like some bamboo; you have instant height and they are good for separating the seating area from other parts of the garden. They look really good, too.

SECRET GARDEN For more information and advice about garden design, or to contact Ali, visit www.secretgardenweb.co.uk.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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from Friday, May 2, 2014


Take a musical trip down memory lane GREEN ZONE MAY 3, CHANNEL 4, 9PM ■ In the wake of the US-led invasion of Iraq, military officer Roy Miller (Matt Damon) is charged with finding the weapons of mass destruction that sparked the conflict. When no weapons are found, he begins to question the accuracy of the intelligence and uncovers a conspiracy that makes him wonder who he can trust. There’s plenty of high-octane Bourne-style entertainment as Damon’s character barrels through a series of life-threatening chases and scrapes with handheld camera footage capturing the breathless mayhem.

BILLY CONNOLLY’S BIG SEND OFF MAY 7, ITV, 9PM ■ He’s treated to us travelogues of Britain, New Zealand, and Canada’s Northwest Passage but in this two-part documentary, Billy Connolly is looking at arguably the biggest journey of all – death. It’s a journey that begins at the National Funeral Directors Association convention in Texas, where death is big business. Billy says: “I’m going to strip away the taboos to reveal that... the world of death is full of wonderful people doing some extraordinary things.” PICK OF THE WEEK: When Corden Met Barlow, May 5, BBC One, 9pm ■ Gary Barlow is rarely off the box these days, whether raising money for Comic Relief, visiting the troops in Afghanistan or welcoming in the new year in a dazzling BBC One extravaganza. Here, Take That fan James Corden and Gary head out on a road trip, during which James gets up close and personal with the man behind the music of his youth. Gary Barlow has had one of the most incredible stories in pop history, with a near-25-year career under his belt. After a lengthy intro, in which James loads up Gary’s Range Rover with random items of baggage, they talk about the fact Barlow has chosen now to make a documentary like this to

65 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

“close the door on a pretty rubbish time”. He and James visit key places in Gary’s career, including the Working Men’s Club where Barlow learned his craft with 600-plus performances. Corden also tags along as Gary surprises one of his own fans on their wedding day and even joins in band rehearsals. Gary says: “I’ve always felt older, and I’ve always felt, whether I was in the band or whatever situation I was in, I was the responsible one.” Featuring contributions from Elton John, Chris Evans, Robbie Williams, Gary’s mother and members of the press and music industry, this documentary sees one of the nation’s best-loved musicians shed light on the real story of his remarkable career.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

THE TRIP TO ITALY MAY 9, BBC2, 10PM ■ Don’t miss the last in the series of this glorious fusion of comedy, cookery and travelogue that is a jewel in BBC Two’s crown. Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan play caricatures of themselves and in this instalment, Steve’s son Joe and his assistant Emma join him and Rob on the final leg of their culinary tour. For newcomers wondering how different this has been compared to the original series set in the north of England, Coogan says: “It is the same as the first one. It’s just in Italy.”


TV PICKS

THE GUESS LIST 9.20pm, BBC1

David Walliams, Ronnie Corbett, Kian Egan, Tess Daly and Kate Silverton help contestants answer all sorts of everyday questions. Hosted by Rob Brydon.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 Nigellissima (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). The opening semi-final is set to reach a conclusion. 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.10 Film: Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (S,HD) (2008). Animated comedy sequel, with the voice of Ben Stiller. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

GENERATION WAR: OUR MOTHERS, OUR FATHERS 9.30pm, BBC2

Greta has been sent to the Soviet Union by her SS lover Dorn to entertain the troops on the eastern front, meeting Wilhelm, Friedhelm and Charlotte two years after their last encounter. Meanwhile, Viktor is on a train being transported to a concentration camp.

BBC2

6.00 Film: Angel Face (S) (1952). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 7.30 Great British Menu (R,S,HD). 10.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 12.00 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (R,S,HD). 1.30 Richard Attenborough: Talking Pictures (S). 2.10 Film: Young Winston (S,HD) (1972). Biopic of Winston Churchill, starring Simon Ward. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.30 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 5.30 Natural World: Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Misfits (R,S,HD).

AMAZING GREYS 8.30pm, ITV

Young contestants take on old pros, including cyclist Derek Stewart, Olympic gold medallist Mary Peters and veteran DJ David Hamilton. Paddy McGuinness and Angela Rippon host.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 ITV News (S). 8.30 Weekend (S). 9.25 The Hungry Sailors (R,S,HD). 10.25 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 11.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). 12.30 The Unforgettable Norman Wisdom (R,S). 1.00 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S). 1.45 A Touch of Frost (R,S). 3.45 Film: Peter Pan (S,HD) (2003). Fantasy adventure, with Jeremy Sumpter and Rachel Hurd-Wood. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.50 Regional News (S).

GRAND DESIGNS 8pm, Channel 4

Kevin McCloud follows a project to renovate and extend a classic 1920s cinema in Thorne, South Yorkshire. With little knowledge of restoration, Gwyn and Kate boldly set about turning the dilapidated building into a family home using masses of concrete after taking advice from an architect friend.

Channel 4

6.05 The Hoobs (R,S). 6.30 Trans World Sport (S). 7.30 FIM Superbike World Championship (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 Weekend Kitchen (S). 10.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10.50 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 11.45 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.45 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 1.40 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Including the 2,000 Guineas at 3.50. 4.10 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Access. 10.05 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.30 Beware! Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD). 11.30 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Busiest Border Crossing (R,S,HD). 12.30 Film: Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (S) (1984). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.05 Film: Sands of the Kalahari (S) (1965). Survival drama, starring Stanley Baker. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.05 Film: The Vikings (S,HD) (1958). Historical adventure, starring Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

6.15 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). Rebecca Ryan hosts the final dinner party in York. 6.40 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). Hazel Irvine presents coverage of the fourth and final session of the second semi-final at the Crucible Theatre, Sheffield, where the first player to reach 17 frames will progress. Subsequent programmes subject to change.

7.15 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent (S,HD). 4/13. Ant and Dec host the fourth audition show, as Simon Cowell, David Walliams, Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon give their verdicts.

7.05 For the Love of Cars (R,S). 1/6. Restoring six classic British cars, with Philip Glenister.

7.10 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 7.15 Longmire (S,HD). 6/10. See Choices Above.

8.30 Amazing Greys (S,HD). 4/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Grand Designs (R,S,HD). 1/11. See Choices Above.

8.00 NCIS (R,S). 6/24. The bodies of two dishonourably discharged officers are found on board a boat belonging to Gibbs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and subsequent inquiries cast suspicion on his mentor Mike Franks.

9.30 Generation War: Our Mothers, Our Fathers (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

9.35 Prey (R,S,HD). 1/3. A detective is wrongly accused of the murders of his wife and son and goes on the run in an attempt to clear his name. Thriller, starring John Simm and Rosie Cavaliero.

9.00 Green Zone (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.00 NCIS (R,S). 7/24. The team delves into Vanceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s troubled past in an effort to trap a vengeful assassin who is determined to strike back at him by targeting his family. Drama, starring Mark Harmon.

â&#x2013;ź

12

Grand Designs, 8pm

6.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.15 Let Me Entertain You (S,HD). 2/6. Clips of secret performers. 6.45 New Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (S). 18/20. Comical clips,.

8.30 Casualty (S,HD). 36/48. One womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s jealousy causes another to suffer an asthma attack, while a familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plans for the perfect day soon go downhill. Dixie faces her disciplinary meeting.

â&#x2013;ź

after

New Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed!, 6.45pm

6.30 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 7/75. From Monmouth, south-east Wales.

9.20 The Guess List (S,HD). 4/6. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

11

Flog It!, 6.30pm

6.30 Regional News (S,HD). 6.50 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD). 8/10. With stars of The Bill and Bad Girls â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Lisa Maxwell, Mark Wingett, Helen Fraser and Jack Ellis. 7.40 The National Lottery: In It to Win It (S,HD). 4/10. Dale Winton presents the quiz show.

10.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 10.20 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents highlights of the latest Premier League clashes, including Everton v Manchester City at Goodison Park and Stoke City v Fulham at the Britannia Stadium. Followed by National Lottery Update.

â&#x2013;ź

10

Casualty, 8.30pm

11.45 The Football League Show (S). Highlights from the final day of the regular Football League season.

11.00 What Just Happened? (S) (2007). A Hollywood producer tries to keep the peace on a movie set, while also struggling with his own familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s problems. Comedy drama, starring Robert De Niro. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.30 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.45 Through the Keyhole (R,S,HD). 6/6. Simon Gregson and Mollie King join Dave Berry on the panel. Last in the series.

11.10 Escape from Alcatraz (S,HD) (1979). A convict tries to break out of the notorious highsecurity island prison. Factbased drama, starring Clint Eastwood and Patrick McGoohan. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

1.05 Weatherview (S). 1.10 BBC News (S,HD).

12.35 Film: Surviving Summer (S,HD) (2009). Drama, starring Hilary Duff and Evan Ross. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.00 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes. 5.50 Film: The Saint in New York (S) (1938). Detective adventure, starring Louis Hayward. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

12.40 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Dinner Date: Australia (R,S). Firefighter Nick looks for a date. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

1.15 Tim Minchin and the Heritage Orchestra (R,S). A concert by musical comedian Tim Minchin. 2.45 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 4.50 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show. 5.45 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). Reviving an old dining room chair. 5.50 The Hoobs (R,S). Groove tries to enter a game show.

10.30 The Americans (S,HD). 8/13. See Choices Above.

10.00 The Bone Collector (S) (1999). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

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66 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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NCIS, 8pm

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12.15 SuperCasino. 3.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Busiest Border Crossing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

     

 


Philip and Elizabeth face painful developments in their missions, while Stan tries to gain access to an American military programme that could give him the upper hand against Oleg. Matthew Rhys stars.

ITV2

11.05 Tom Daley Goes Global (R,S,HD). 12.05 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 1.25 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). 2.30 Pixie Lott: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 2.40 Film: The Perfect Man (S,HD) (2005). ●● 4.40 You’ve Been Framed! Kids Special (R,S). 5.45 Film: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (S,HD) (1999). ●●●

LONGMIRE 7.15pm, Channel 5

A convicted murderer released early from jail is found mauled to death by a bear in the woods and Walt has to open a murder investigation when the man is discovered to have been sedated and baited with steak. Meanwhile, Branch has to deal with his gun-toting uncle causing trouble at his retirement home.

E4

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.10 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 11.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club. 9.00 Game Changers. 10.00 Soccer AM. With Max Rushden. 12.00 WWE Superstars (HD). 1.00 David Attenborough’s Kingdom of Plants (R,S,HD). 2.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5.00 Film: Robots (S) (2005). Animated adventure, with the voice of Ewan McGregor. ●●●

FILM PICKS

THE AMERICANS 10.30pm, ITV

GREEN ZONE 9pm, Channel 4

GOLD

6.05 2point4 Children (S). 7.15 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.00 Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.35 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 1.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.00 Film: Carry On Teacher (1959). Comedy, starring Ted Ray. ●●● 4.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 1988. Del tries a dating agency.

Predators, 9pm

Revolution, 9pm

Only Fools and Horses, 6.40pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 19/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 20/24.

6.45 Futurama: Welcome to the World of Tomorrow (R,S). Behind the scenes of the animated series.

6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1/6. Del-Boy becomes a yuppie.

7.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 16/20. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 13/24. A hotel guest stirs up trouble.

7.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 1/13. Bender fathers a child. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/21. Mr Burns hires Homer to play pranks.

7.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2/6. Del gets his hands on a consignment of self-inflating rubber dolls. David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst star.

8.30 Britain’s Got More Talent (S,HD). 4/13. Stephen Mulhern hosts the companion show to the talent competition.

8.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 17/22. Stephen stumbles across a clue that the Tomorrow People have been desperately searching for.

8.00 Storm City (HD). 3/4. Four-part documentary in which Ben Fogle explores the devastating impact of extreme weather. In this edition, he focuses on floods and the damage they can cause.

9.35 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Harry Hill narrates camcorder calamities.

9.00 Predators (S,HD) (2010). Hardened fighters from across the globe are taken to an alien jungle planet to become prey in a big-game hunt. Sci-fi thriller sequel, starring Adrien Brody and Topher Grace. ●●●

9.00 Revolution (S,HD). 19/20. Neville confronts Charlie about his son’s whereabouts, while Miles is separated from the group after encountering some Texas Rangers.

8.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3/6. A retired jeweller offers Del-Boy the deal of a lifetime – then suddenly has a heart attack and gets taken to hospital with the merchandise still in his briefcase.

Britain’s Got ... 8.30pm

THE BONE COLLECTOR 10pm, Channel 5

A military officer searching Iraq for weapons of mass destruction uncovers a conspiracy. Paul Greengrass’ thriller, with Matt Damon.

A quadriplegic ex-cop helps a rookie officer hunt for a serial killer. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Sporting Greats (S). 6.30 Ringside (HD). 7.30 Premier League Preview (HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live (HD). 2.30 Saturday Team Talk (HD). 3.00 Soccer Saturday (HD). 5.00 Live Saturday Night Football (HD). Everton v Manchester City (Kick-off 5.30pm).

Live Football, 5pm

7.55 Live Coppa Italia Final (HD). Fiorentina v Napoli (Kick-off 8.00pm). Coverage of the showpiece occasion at the Stadio Olimpico in Rome. Napoli are aiming to lift the trophy for the second time in three years, while the Viola have to look back to 2001 for the last time they won this competition.

10.00 Pramface (S). 1/6. 10.00 Arrow (R,S,HD). 20/23. 10.15 FL72 Round-Up (HD). Comedy, starring Scarlett Roy is in an Action from final day of Alice Johnson and Sean uncontrollable rage and the regular season in the Michael Verey. there are no signs of his Championship, League anger subsiding. With One and League Two. 10.40 The Catherine Tate mirakuru coursing Show (S). 1/6. With through his veins, Sara Siobhan Redmond. convinces the team there is only one way to stop him.

10.05 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 8/10. With guests Katy B, Jason Bradbury and Gino D’Acampo. 10.50 Crazy Beaches (R,S,HD). 6/8. The holiday reps share their experiences. 11.20 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 4/13. Ant and Dec present the fourth audition show.

11.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24. Penny regrets her night with Raj. 11.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/24.

11.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). 4/8. Karl Pilkington watches whales in Alaska.

11.10 Little Britain (S). 1/8. 11.15 Spanish Football (HD). The first ever episode. Barcelona v Getafe. 11.50 Life’s Too Short (S). 2/7. Warwick Davis pins his hopes on a meeting with Johnny Depp.

12.35 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). Stephen Mulhern goes behind the scenes after the fourth auditions. 1.40 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). Topical comedy show, presented by Caroline Flack. 2.15 Dads (R,S,HD). 2.40 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.40 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 Rude Tube: Rude Zoo (R,S,HD). 1.10 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.45 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 2.15 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.40 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 3.05 Youngers (R,S,HD). 3.30 Youngers (R,S,HD). 3.55 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.50 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). Karl Pilkington travels to Africa to spend time with gorillas. 1.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 2.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 3.30 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S). 5.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S).

12.30 Pramface (S). Comedy, starring Scarlett Alice Johnson and Sean Michael Verey. 1.05 The Catherine Tate Show (S). 1.30 Little Britain (S). The first ever episode. 2.00 Shooting Stars (S). 2.30 Shooting Stars (S). 3.00 Close

BBC3

7.00 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). The Tardis lands in a hotel with a deadly secret. With David Walliams. 7.50 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). 8.40 Top Gear (R,S,HD). Searching for the world’s best fourseat supercar. 9.40 Live at the Apollo With Kevin Bridges (R,S,HD). 10.25 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.05 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Family Guy (R,S). 12.50 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.35 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 2.20 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 2.50 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 3.20 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 3.50 Great TV Mistakes (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 Britain’s Natural World (R,HD). The landscape and wildlife of Essex. 8.00 Byzantium: A Tale of Three Cities (R,HD). The last centuries of Christian Constantinople. 9.00 Blackfish (HD) (2013). Documentary about a captive killer whale that caused several deaths. ●●●● 10.20 Killer Whales: Beneath the Surface – Natural World (R,HD). A look at research into the lives of the marine mammals. 11.20 Neil Sedaka: King of Song (R,HD). Portrait of the US musician’s life and career. 12.20 Neil Sedaka Says: All You Need Is the Music (R). 1.05 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 1.40 Byzantium: A Tale of Three Cities (R,HD). 2.45 Britain’s Natural World (R,HD).

SATURDAY May 03

12.15 Coppa Italia Final (HD). 1.15 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 2.45 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 4.15 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 5.45 Football Gold.

from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 67


AUSTRALIA WITH SIMON REEVE 6pm, BBC2

TV PICKS

FOR THE LOVE OF CARS 8pm, Channel 4

Ant Anstead tracks down a Triumph Stag and sets about restoring it, while Philip Glenister investigates the car’s reputation for unreliability.

BBC1

The adventurer embarks on a journey across the country, meeting a diverse array of people and encountering exotic wildlife. He begins in Northern Territory, where he discovers how the camel is threatening the fragile desert ecosystem, then heads through wine country to the South Australian city of Port Lincoln.

BBC2

6.55 Film: None But the Lonely Heart (S) 6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.35 Match of the (1944). Drama, starring Cary Grant. ●●● Day (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew Marr 8.45 Countryfile (R,S,HD). Matt Baker and Show (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions Ellie Harrison celebrate icons of the (S,HD). 11.00 Sunday Politics (S). 12.15 MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). With Mark Chapman. Yorkshire Dales. 9.45 The Beechgrove 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt Garden (S,HD). 10.15 Saturday Kitchen (R,S). 2.15 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 3.00 Escape to Best Bites (S). Highlights of the series. 11.45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge the Country (R,S,HD). 3.45 Monkey (R,S,HD). 2.00 Live Snooker: The World Planet (R,S,HD). 4.45 Points of View Championship (S,HD). The opening session (S,HD). 5.00 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 5.45 of the final at the Crucible Theatre. Pointless Celebrities (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

THE CRIMSON FIELD 9pm, BBC1

Flora (Alice St Clair) decides the volunteers should put on some entertainment to raise spirits – but as the pressure mounts, so do her nerves. Suranne Jones, Daniel Betts also star.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 ITV News (S). 8.30 Weekend (S). 9.25 May the Best House Win (R,S,HD). 10.25 Film: Columbo Cries Wolf (S) (1990). Detective drama, starring Peter Falk. ●●●● 12.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 12.30 Big Star’s Little Star (R,S,HD). 1.35 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.05 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 3.20 Let Me Entertain You (R,S,HD). 3.50 Film: Licence to Kill (S,HD) (1989). James Bond spy thriller, starring Timothy Dalton. ●●

FARGO 9pm, Channel 4

Malvo does the unexpected in the blackmail operation, Molly sets a trap, Gus debates whether he should come clean and Lester’s return to work has complicated repercussions. Black comedy-drama inspired by the Coen brothers’ much-loved film, starring Martin Freeman and Billy Bob Thornton.

Channel 4

6.15 British GT (S). 6.40 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.25 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.35 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). A couple who have piled on more than eight stone between them in four years. 1.40 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Including the 1,000 Guineas at 3.50. 4.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.05 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.35 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show.

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Power Rangers Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 Power Rangers Megaforce (R,S,HD). 11.10 Access (R). 11.15 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 11.45 Secret History of UFOs (R,S,HD). 12.40 Aliens: Are We Alone? (R,S,HD). 1.45 Film: Thunderbirds (S,HD) (2004). ●● 3.25 Film: Open Season (S) (2006). ●●● 5.00 Film: Mulan (S,HD) (1998). Disney animated adventure, with the voice of Eddie Murphy. ●●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

after

12

7.00 Bear’s Wild Weekend with Stephen Fry (R,S,HD). Bear Grylls takes the QI host on an expedition to the Italian Dolomites,.

8.00 Vera (S,HD). 2/4. See Choices Above.

8.00 For the Love of Cars (S). 3/6. See Choices Above.

7.30 Off Their Rockers (S,HD). 5/7. Seb takes a shower in an unexpected place.

7.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). Hazel Irvine presents all the action from the second session of the final at Sheffield’s Crucible Theatre, where a further nine frames are scheduled to take place. Subsequent programmes subject to change.

6.40 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 6.45 Stargate (S,HD) (1994). An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson. Edited for violence, language and flashing images. ●●●●

7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). Ellie Harrison explores hills and mountains, including one that is up for sale. Including Weather for the Week Ahead.

Dodgeball … 11.10pm

6.30 Channel 4 News (S).

8.00 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). 20/26. From the Royal Marines Museum in Southsea near Portsmouth, where items include a Jolly Roger flag flown by a British submarine during the Second World War and a creepy-looking doll.

Bear’s Wild Weekend … 7pm

6.20 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.45 Catchphrase (S,HD). 8/12. Guessing game, hosted by Stephen Mulhern.

9.00 The Crimson Field (S,HD). 5/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Fargo (S,HD). 3/10. See Choices Above.

10.00 Perspectives – The Man in the Hat: Rene Magritte with Will Young (S,HD). 3/6. A fan of Rene Magritte since the age of 15, singer and actor Will Young travels to the surrealist artist’s native Belgium to explore his life, work and legacy.

10.00 Underworld: Awakening (S,HD) (2012). See Choices Above. ●●

9.00 War of the Worlds (S) (2005). See Choices Above. ●●●●

11

Catchphrase, 6.45pm

6.00 Australia with Simon Reeve (R,S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

10.00 Regional News (S,HD). 10.25 Have I Got a Bit More News for You (S,HD). 5/9. Jack Dee hosts the comedy news quiz.

10

QI XL, 11pm

6.35 Regional News (S,HD).

11.10 Knife Crime ER: Reggie Yates’ Extreme South Africa (S,HD). 2/3. A hospital struggling to cope with victims of violent crime.

11.00 QI XL (S,HD). 13/16. Extended edition. With the Rev Richard Coles, Sarah Millican and David Mitchell. 11.45 In Our Name (S,HD) (2010). Premiere. Drama, starring Joanne Froggatt. ●●●●

11.00 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.15 Premiership Rugby Union (HD). Highlights of the latest top-flight fixtures.

11.45 Babel (S,HD) (2006). Drama, starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. ●●●

11.10 Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (S,HD) (2004). Sporting comedy, starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. ●●●

6 7 8 9

Antiques Roadshow, 8pm

12.05 Weatherview (S). 12.10 BBC News (S,HD).

1.15 Film: The Big White (S) (2005). Black comedy, starring Robin Williams. ●● 2.50 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). Matt Baker and Ellie Harrison celebrate icons of the Yorkshire Dales. 3.50 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Jac struggles to cope with her manipulative mother. 4.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.15 The Store. Home shopping. 2.45 Motorsport UK (S,HD). Highlights from Brands Hatch. 3.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 4.20 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

2.15 Southland (S,HD). 3.05 The Hotel (R,S,HD). Mark decides to sell the Grosvenor. 4.00 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). Two aunties are challenged to create gifts for £10. Last in the series. 4.55 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show.

1.00 SuperCasino. 3.10 Booze, Bust-Ups & Brothels: Soho Blues (R,S). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.05 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

68 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 2, 2014


The son of a prominent local family is found murdered on the beach at Whitley Bay, and a second death leaves Vera (Brenda Blethyn) facing puzzling questions and mounting pressure to crack the case.

ITV2

6.45 Pixie Lott: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.55 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.40 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 12.05 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 12.35 Film: Beethoven (S,HD) (1991). ●●●● 2.20 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 3.20 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 4.20 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 5.45 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S,HD).

HAWAII FIVE-0 9pm, Sky1

Conspiracy theorist Jerry Ortega returns to help the team investigate a triple homicide connected to a downed top-secret Chinese satellite, while Grover takes Danny’s mother for a ride. Alex O’Loughlin, Scott Caan and Daniel Dae Kim star, with a guest appearance by Jorge Garcia.

E4

6.00 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD). 6.45 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.35 Charmed (R,S). 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 8.55 Youngers (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.35 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 1.35 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD).

Sky1

7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 9.00 David Attenborough’s Kingdom of Plants (R,S,HD). 10.00 WWE Superstars (R,HD). 11.00 WWE: Experience (HD). 12.00 The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – Spinning The Web (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hugh Jackman: Becoming Wolverine (R,S,HD). 1.00 Film: Robots (S) (2005). ●●● 2.45 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S).

FILM PICKS

VERA 8pm, ITV

UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING 10pm, Channel 4

WAR OF THE WORLDS 9pm, Channel 5

Vampire Selene awakes from cryonic suspension to battle mutant werewolves. Action fantasy, with Kate Beckinsale.

GOLD

6.00 2point4 Children (S). 6.35 As Time Goes By (S). 8.25 Film: Carry On Teacher (1959). Comedy, starring Ted Ray and Kenneth Connor. ●●● 10.10 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.20 Film: Carry On Nurse (1959). Comedy, starring Hattie Jacques. ●●● 5.00 John Le Mesurier: It’s All Been Rather Lovely (S). A portrait of the actor’s life and career.

A divorced father tries to protect his children as alien war machines attack. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi thriller, with Tom Cruise.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 6.30 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 8.00 Game Changers (HD). 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). A review of yesterday’s football action. 12.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Arsenal v West Bromwich Albion (Kick-off 1.30pm). 3.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Chelsea v Norwich City (Kickoff 4.00pm).

Star Wars: Episode II ... 7.15pm

Bride Wars, 8pm

NCIS: Los Angeles, 10pm

Life’s Too Short, 10pm

Live Super Sunday, 3.30pm

6.45 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 15/23. Featuring a woman falling foul of a chipmunk.

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 16/22. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 14/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 16/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 7/22. Apu’s wife has octuplets.

6.25 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4/6. Rodney wins a holiday in Majorca.

6.30 Spanish Football. Barcelona v Getafe and Levante v Atletico Madrid.

7.15 Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (S,HD) (2002). The Jedi Knights protect Senator Amidala from an assassin – but their efforts are threatened when civil war breaks out. Sci-fi prequel, with Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen. Including FIY Daily. ●●●●

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24. One of Sheldon’s favourite TV shows is cancelled. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/24.

7.00 About a Boy (R,S,HD). 5/13. Marcus suggests Will should start dating his mum. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/21.

7.35 Only Fools and Horses (S). 5/6. Del’s beloved mum apparently makes contact during a seance at the Nag’s Head.

8.00 Bride Wars (S,HD) (2009). Two lifelong best friends become bitter rivals when their weddings are scheduled to take place on the same day and at the same venue. Comedy, starring Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway. Edited for language. ●●

8.00 The Simpsons (S,HD). 4/22. Homer gets in touch with an old penpal. 8.30 Futurama (S,HD). 2/13. Fry uncovers an ancient prophecy claiming the world is going to end.

8.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 6/6. Rodney ties the knot with Cassandra, while Del tries to dodge a bashing from the dreaded Driscoll brothers over some stolen mobile phones.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (HD). 16/22. See Choices Above.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 Viral Tap (S,HD). 2/6. 10.00 The Inbetweeners (S,HD). 15/24. Callen and Topical comedy show, (R,S). 1/6. Carli organises Sam head to Mexico to presented by Caroline a fashion show. find an assassin they Flack. 10.30 The Inbetweeners encountered on their 10.50 White Chicks (S,HD) (R,S). 2/6. Simon tries to first case together, while (2004). Two black male impress a girl. Nate Getz returns to LA FBI agents are forced to to partner Deeks. Danny pose as white female Trejo guest stars. debutantes to protect a couple of heiresses from a kidnapping plot. Comedy, starring 11.05 Rude Tube: Rude Zoo 11.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 brothers Shawn and (R,S,HD). 7/8. A selection (R,S,HD). 6/8. Karl Marlon Wayans. of the internet’s funniest Pilkington travels along Including FIY Daily. ● animal clips. America’s Route 66.

1.05 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). Topical comedy show, presented by Caroline Flack. 1.45 Mom (R,S,HD). 2.10 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Stefan and Elena have unsettling dreams. 2.55 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.10 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.05 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.35 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.00 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.25 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 2.55 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 3.20 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD).

12.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). Karl Pilkington prepares for a 15-hour trek to the summit of Mount Fuji in Japan. 1.00 An Idiot Abroad (R,S,HD). 2.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S). 5.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S).

8.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Real Madrid v Valencia (Kick-off 8.00pm). Coverage of the La Liga clash at the Bernabeu, as the in-form hosts aim to clinch another three points against the visitors.

10.00 Life’s Too Short (S). 2/7. 10.00 Football Special (HD). Warwick Davis pins his Arsenal v West Bromwich hopes on a meeting with Albion and Chelsea v Johnny Depp. Norwich City. Highlights of the Premier League 10.40 Best of Not the Nine fixtures at the Emirates O’Clock News (S). 4/8. Stadium and Stamford Highlights of the Bridge. comedy show, starring Rowan Atkinson and Mel Smith. 11.15 Nighty Night. 2/6. Jill needs to raise money. 11.55 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer (S). 2/6. Mulligan and O’Hare present their new album.

11.30 PL 100 Club (S,HD). The best of Robbie Fowler’s 162 Premier League goals.

12.35 Shooting Stars (S). With guests Mathew Horne, Alex Reid, Penny Smith and Tim Lovejoy. 1.10 Best of Not the Nine O’Clock News (S). 1.40 Nighty Night. 2.10 The Office (S). Part one of a twopart Christmas special. 3.00 Close

12.00 Spanish Football (HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD). Arsenal v West Bromwich Albion and Chelsea v Norwich City. 2.30 Champions League Weekly (HD). 3.00 Spanish Football (HD). 4.00 Football Special (HD). 5.30 Champions League Weekly (HD).

bristol@stablepizza.com | www.stablepizza.com Canon’s Road, Harbourside, Bristol, BS1 5UH 0117 927 9999

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). With Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. 7.50 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (S,HD) (2003). Swashbuckling fantasy adventure, starring Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. ●●●●● 10.00 In the Flesh (S,HD). New series. Return of the supernatural drama, starring Luke Newberry. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Ja’mie: Private School Girl (R,S,HD). Ja’mie returns to school sporting a new rebel image. 12.15 Ja’mie: Private School Girl (R,S,HD). 12.45 In the Flesh (R,S,HD). 1.40 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 2.10 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 2.40 Bamboo (R,S,HD). 3.00 In the Flesh (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 The Rabbits of Skomer (R). 7.10 In Which We Serve (HD) (1942). Second World War drama, starring Noel Coward. ●●●●● 9.00 Easter Island: Mysteries of a Lost World (R,HD). New theories about the demise of the island’s civilisation. 10.30 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (R,HD). Methods to control swarms of bees during spring. 11.00 Frank Sinatra: The Voice of the Century – Arena Special (R). Profile of the legendary performer. 12.35 Sings the Great American Songbook (R). 1.35 Top of the Pops: The Story of 1978 (R). 2.25 Easter Island: Mysteries of a Lost World (R,HD).

SUNDAY May 4

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 69


TV PICKS

WHEN CORDEN MET BARLOW 9pm, BBC1

THE ISLAND WITH BEAR GRYLLS 9pm, Channel 4

James Corden heads out on a road trip with his pop hero Gary Barlow, getting up close and personal with the man behind the music.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Fake Britain (S). 9.45 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 10.45 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (R,S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Regional News (S). 1.25 The Link (S,HD). 2.15 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.00 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (S,HD). 3.45 Film: National Treasure (S,HD) (2004). See Choices Above. ●●● 5.45 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Reality show in which 13 British men are left on a remote Pacific island for a month. Adventurer Bear Grylls finds out whether the volunteers – filming themselves and stripped of all the luxuries of 21st-century living – can use teamwork to survive tough conditions with only some basic tools and the clothes they’re wearing.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.20 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.20 Film: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (S,HD) (2002). ●● 8.35 Film: Goodbye, Mr Chips (S) (1939). Period drama, with Robert Donat. ●●●●● 10.25 Film: The Importance of Being Earnest (S) (1952). Oscar Wilde comedy, starring Michael Redgrave. ●●●● 12.00 The Pallisers (R,S,HD). 1.45 Coast (S,HD). 2.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD).

LIVE SNOOKER: THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 7pm, BBC2

Coverage of the concluding session of this year’s final at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, where the successful player needs to reach 18 frames to lift the famous trophy.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). 11.30 The Unforgettable Joan Sims (R,S). 12.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 1.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.10 Regional News (S). 1.15 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S,HD). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S,HD). 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S,HD). 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show (S,HD).

BRITAIN’S FAVOURITE STAND-UP COMEDIAN 9pm, Channel 5

A countdown of the 50 funniest people to have performed stand-up routines, including names such as Tommy Cooper, Victoria Wood, Robin Williams, Joan Rivers and Jo Brand. Featuring contributions by Paul Hogan, Ross Noble, Tamsin Greig and Christopher Biggins.

Channel 4

6.10 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.55 Film: Firehouse Dog (S,HD) (2007). Family comedy, starring Josh Hutcherson. ●● 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (R,S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 Criminals: Caught on Camera (R,S,HD). The use of CCTV to fight crime. 1.15 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.20 Neighbours (S,HD). 1.50 NCIS (R,S,HD). Vance discovers a key to a safety deposit box in his late wife’s effects. 2.50 Film: White Fang (S,HD) (1991). Adventure, starring Ethan Hawke. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Amazon’s Retail … 11pm

Coronation Street, 7.30pm

Britain’s Most Extreme … 8pm

Britain’s Favourite … 9pm

6.30 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.45 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.15 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 18/20. Comedy from the mind of Harry Hill

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 9/25. An overdose of spicy food causes Homer to experience hallucinations. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

6.00 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (S,HD) (2005). See Choices Above. ●●●

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt Baker. 7.30 Bang Goes the Theory (S,HD). 8/8. The science of disaster relief, including the facts about cholera. Last in the series.

6.00 Escape to the Continent (R,S,HD). A couple hoping to move to Portugal. 6.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 21/45. The first of the London and South East heats. 7.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). See Choices Above.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Eric challenges Tiny to a fight. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Lloyd collapses after finishing the 5km charity run.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.30 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade (S,HD). 7/8. Administering Botox injections without training.

6 7 8 9

Match of the Day, 10.20pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). David finds incriminating evidence against Max. 8.30 Miranda (R,S,HD). 3/6. The shop owner’s friends accuse her of being immature.

8.00 Gino’s Italian Escape (R,S,HD). 2/6. Gino D’Acampo’s next stop is Naples. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Rita tells Dennis to find somewhere else to live.

8.00 Britain’s Most Extreme Weather (S). 2/4. Alex Beresford trawls through centuries of historic data and analyses the latest scientific research to find out whether winter in Britain is going to become colder.

8.00 The Woman with 40 Cats – and Other Pet Hoarders (R,S,HD). Documentary giving an insight into the lives of people whose love of animals has become an obsession, including a retired secret. Followed by 5 News at 9.

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 When Corden Met Barlow (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Prey (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Island with Bear Grylls (S). 1/5. See Choices Above.

9.00 Britain’s Favourite Stand-Up Comedian (R,S). See Choices Above.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.10 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.15 Benidorm (R,S). 1/6. The gang returns for a goodwill stay at the Solana after being held hostage by drug dealers on their last holiday, and Martin shows off his new girlfriend.

10.00 Love for Sale with Rupert Everett (S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. The actor and writer explores the motivations of men who use prostitutes, hearing from Russell Brand about his past experiences and meeting various sex addicts.

11

10

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.15 Regional News (S). 10.20 Match of the Day (S,HD). Mark Chapman present highlights of this evening’s Premier League match between Crystal Palace and Liverpool at Selhurst Park, and action from yesterday’s fixtures. 11.25 Regional Programme (S). 11.55 Regional Programme (R,S,HD).

11.00 Amazon’s Retail Revolution: Business Boomers (R,S,HD). 3/4. Sandi Toksvig narrates an exploration of the success of online retailer Amazon, which was started 20 years ago.

11.15 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey (R,S,HD). 1/4. The actress explores the history of Greece.

11.00 Gogglebox (R,S). 9/12. Viewers’ opinions on recent TV.

11.50 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (S) (2008). An Israeli Special Agent makes a fresh start as a New York hair stylist. Comedy, with Adam Sandler and Emmanuelle Chriqui. ●●●

12.40 Weatherview (S). 12.45 BBC News (S,HD).

12.00 Digby Jones: The New Troubleshooter (R,S,HD). 1.00 Sign Zone: Louis Theroux’s LA Stories (R,S). 2.00 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S,HD). 4.00 Schools: 3, 2, 1 Go! – Key Stage 3 (R,S,HD). 5.00 Schools: 3, 2, 1 Go! – Key Stage 2 (R,S,HD).

12.10 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly (S,HD). A review of the semi-final secondleg matches. 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 4.10 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 Fargo (R,S,HD). 1.00 Scandal (S,HD). 1.45 Southcliffe (R,S,HD). 2.40 Mesh: The Wrong Turn (R,S). 2.45 Mr Drew’s School for Boys (R,S,HD). 3.40 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners (R,S,HD). 4.35 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

1.50 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (R,S,HD). The work of doctors at St John’s Medical Centre in Lewisham, south-east London. 4.00 HouseBusters (R,S). 4.20 HouseBusters (R,S). Life-enhancing changes to a home. Last in the series. 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

after

12

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70 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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Max and Deke study together for their pastry school exams and she realises she may have romantic feelings for him – but worries about ruining their friendship. Caroline does her best to keep chef Nicolas at arm’s length after his secret was revealed, but circumstances throw temptation in her way.

The hunt gains momentum when Reinhardt receives a tip-off about Farrow’s location, while the fugitive suspects someone close to home may have information about Abi and Max’s deaths.

E4

ITV2 7.25 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 8.25 You’ve Been Framed Extreme! (R,S). 9.30 Film: The Perfect Man (S,HD) (2005). ●● 11.30 You’ve Been Framed! Kids Special (R,S). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Talent (R,S). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 Film: Beethoven (S,HD) (1991). ●●●●

7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.55 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Football’s Next Star (R,S,HD). 7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

2 BROKE GIRLS 8.30pm, E4

PREY 9pm, ITV

NATIONAL TREASURE 3.45pm, BBC1

A treasure-hunter sets out to find a war chest hidden by America’s founding fathers before a rival gets hold of it. Action adventure, with Nicolas Cage.

GOLD 6.20 2point4 Children (S). 6.50 As Time Goes By (S). 8.10 Film: Carry On Constable (1960). ●●● 9.55 Film: Carry On Nurse (1959). ●●● 11.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1.25 John Le Mesurier: It’s All Been Rather Lovely (S). 2.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.00 Film: Carry On Constable (1960). ●●● 5.40 Only Fools and Horses (S).

The Office, 10.40pm

Underworld, 9pm

Revenge, 9pm

24: Live Another ... 12.30am

6.55 Zookeeper (S,HD) (2011). The animals in a zoo reveal to their keeper that they are able to talk and offer their advice in improving his love life. Comedy, starring Kevin James and Rosario Dawson. Including FIY Daily. ●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 23/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 24/24. Leonard is offered a job.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 6/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 17/22.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2/24. Marshall tries to find the restaurant where he ate his first burger.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 1/22. Homer meets Mel Gibson. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 3/22. Homer is paralysed by a venomous spider.

7.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). 6/6. Rodney ties the knot with Cassandra, while Del tries to dodge a bashing from the Driscoll brothers.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 16/22. The entire squad heads to Holt’s for his birthday party. 8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 13/24. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 4/22. Homer gets in touch with an old penpal. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 17/24. Jay imparts some pearls of wisdom to Luke.

9.00 Revenge (S,HD). 18/22. Emily and Aiden uncover long-buried family secrets when they travel to England to get more information from his mother. Elsewhere, Victoria visits Mason Treadwell.

9.00 About a Boy (S,HD). 6/13. Will rushes Marcus to hospital after an incident with a knife. 9.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3/12. With Abbey Clancy and Neil Morrissey.

8.10 Only Fools and Horses (S). The Trotter brothers go on a lads’ day out to Margate, but things do not turn out as expected, and they end up stranded in the seaside town overnight. Christmas special from 1989.

9.00 Underworld (S,HD) (2003). A vampire fighting a war against werewolves falls in love with a human whom her enemies have plans for. Supernatural action thriller, starring Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman. Including FIY Daily. ●●

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY 6pm, Channel 5

Tim Burton’s children’s fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Johnny Depp and Freddie Highmore.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 10.00 Soccer Extra – Bank Holiday Special (HD). 11.30 Spanish Football (HD). 12.30 Coppa Italia Final (HD). 1.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 2.00 Football’s Greatest Managers (S). 3.00 PL 100 Club. 3.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 4.00 Game Changers. 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).

Live Football, 7pm 6.00 FL72 Review (HD). A round-up of recent matches.

7.00 Live Monday Night Football (HD). Crystal Palace v Liverpool (Kickoff 8.00pm). Coverage of the Premier League fixture at Selhurst Park. Liverpool’s run of 11 successive league victories came to an end when they were beaten 2-0 by Chelsea in their previous match, but a win against Tony Pulis’ men would keep them very much in contention for the title.

10.00 Star-Crossed (R,S,HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea (S). 5/13. Roman looks 5/11. A heartbroken further into his father’s Binky tries to keep her mysterious past and distance from Alex after soon makes a stunning discovering that he discovery. Emery and cheated on her, and Grayson go on a date Stevie goes on a date and Drake faces the with Riley – much to consequences of his Sam’s annoyance. actions.

10.00 Hebburn (S). 2/6. Jack hopes to leave his job at the local newspaper. 10.40 The Office (S). 1/2. In the first of two Christmas specials of the comedy, David Brent is now a sales rep and Z-list celebrity.

11.25 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 20/22. 11.55 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 21/22. Alan and Jake go on a road trip.

11.00 Party House (S,HD). 4/6. 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles Model Sara and (R,S,HD). 18/24. Sam mechanic Callum decide traces the leader of a to get serious. Yemeni terrorist group.

11.40 The Office (S). 2/2. Part two of two. The Christmas party throws up a few surprises.

11.00 Football’s Greatest. The career of Steven Gerard. 11.30 Football’s Greatest (S). The career of Kenny Dalglish.

12.25 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 12.50 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). With Kimberly Wyatt, Greg Rutherford, Jeff Leach and Brian Belo. 1.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 2.15 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.00 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 2.45 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 3.10 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.35 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.55 Hebburn (S). Jack hopes to leave his job at the local newspaper. 1.30 Getting On. Kim tries to progress through her training. 2.05 The Office (S). Part two of two. The Christmas party throws up a few surprises. 3.00 Close

12.00 FL72 Review (HD). A roundup of recent matches. 1.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 1.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 2.00 Monday Night Football (HD). Crystal Palace v Liverpool. 4.30 FL72 Review (HD). A round-up of recent matches. 5.30 Football Gold. 5.45 Football Gold.

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). 12.30 24: Live Another Day (R). 1.00 24: Live Another Day (HD). 2.00 24: Live Another Day (HD). 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S).

BBC3

7.00 Doctor Who: The Ultimate Guide (R,S,HD). An in-depth look at the sci-fi show. 9.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents (R,S). Two teenagers travel to Kavos, Corfu. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). The comedian’s perspective on stories dominating the media. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). David finds incriminating evidence against Max. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 In the Flesh (R,S,HD). 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.00 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (R,S,HD). 3.00 Extreme Beauty Queens: Secrets of South America (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 Lionel Bart, Reviewing the Situation (R,HD). The story of the composer of Oliver! 8.00 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (HD). 8.30 Only Connect (HD). Three former athletes take on a trio of record collectors. 9.00 Hinterland (HD). A man is found bludgeoned to death. 10.35 The First Georgians: The German Kings Who Made Britain (R,HD). The reigns of George I and George II. 11.35 Stonehenge: Timewatch (R). The origins of the ancient Wiltshire site. 12.30 Only Connect (R,HD). 1.00 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (R,HD). 1.30 Britain by Bike (R). 2.00 Hinterland (R,HD).

MONDAY May 5

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 71


TV PICKS

MILLER’S MOUNTAIN 10.40pm, BBC1

EMBARRASSING BODIES: LIVE FROM THE CLINIC 8pm, Channel 4

One-off comedy about a motley gang of mountain rescue volunteers, with Jimmy Chisholm as the leader, showing around a new member.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Fake Britain (S). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 The Link (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

HAPPY VALLEY 9pm, BBC1

Kevin realises the enormity The medical team explores why only four per of the situation he has cent of people in the UK who are able to give created when Nevison tells blood actually volunteer to do so, and Pixie him about the kidnappers’ McKenna demonstrates how to give a donation. ransom demands. Catherine Plus, a behind-the-scenes look at the work of receives a tip-off regarding Birmingham’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital. Tommy’s whereabouts.

BBC2

7.35 Animal Park (R,S). 8.20 Sign Zone 10.35 HARDtalk (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 The Super League Show (S). 1.45 One Man and His Campervan (R,S,HD). 2.15 The Pallisers (R,S,HD). 3.05 Coast (R,S,HD). 3.30 Planet Earth (R,S,HD). 4.30 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S,HD). 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S,HD). 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show (S,HD).

THE MENTALIST 10pm, Channel 5

A chance encounter with a suspicious-looking person leads Jane to uncover a vast humantrafficking operation, while Lisbon remains tempted by Special Agent Pike’s invitation to move with him to Washington, DC. Crime drama, guest starring Titus Welliver (The Good Wife, Deadwood), with Simon Baker.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (R,S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 Beware! Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD). Dominic Littlewood and Gabrielle Blackman help a Swindon couple. 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S,HD). Ducky and Jimmy are abducted. 3.15 Film: Montana Sky (S) (2007). Drama, starring Ashley Williams. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 1/6. New series. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Alicia realises the money was meant for Leyla. 7.30 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (S,HD) (2005). The teenage wizard is chosen to represent Hogwarts School in a dangerous magical tournament. Fourth instalment of the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Robbie Coltrane, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Brendan Gleeson and Robert Pattinson. See Choices Above. ●●●●

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Locals celebrate Gibraltar’s National Day. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic (S). 4/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (S,HD). Two friends whose 22 dogs disrupted the peace of a South Ayrshire village and three Leicestershire families harassed by a neighbour. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Mr Drew’s School for Boys (S,HD). 2/4. Head teacher Stephen Drew tries to improve the relationship between 10-year-old Dominic and his mother, while the summer school’s healthy snack policy leads to a rebellion.

9.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (S,HD). 2/4. Dr Ferdinand has to break the news of a woman’s dementia to her children, while Dr Trinh fears a patient is putting herself at risk of a stroke by not taking blood pressure tablets.

The Nightmare Neighbour … 8pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 10/25. X-Files agents Mulder and Scully investigate aliens in Springfield. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

16 Kids and Counting, 10pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S). By the Liberal Democrats. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

Emmerdale, 7pm

6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 15/20. A Wiltshire couple hoping to move to Austria. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 22/45. The London and South East chefs prepare seafood courses.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Live chat and topical reports. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Lauren finds an important e-mail sent the day Lucy died. Followed by Regional News. 8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 30/52. Zosia is determined to show she is able to pass her foundation training, Jonny finds an unlikely ally in the custody battle and Dominic is tired of playing second fiddle to Arthur.

8.00 The Big Allotment Challenge (S,HD). 4/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Happy Valley (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Watermen: A Dirty Business (S,HD). 4/6. The aqueduct supplying water to Manchester is shut off for the first time in 60 years to check for damage. Andy and Terry deal with a collapsed sewer in Blackpool.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.35 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD). By the UK Independence Party. Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.40 Miller’s Mountain (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.00 Later Live – with Jools Holland (S,HD). 4/7. With Aloe Blacc, the Horrors, the Afghan Whigs, Little Dragon, Sturgill Simpson and Roger Cicero. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.20 ITV News and Weather (S). 10.50 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.55 The Cube Celebrity Special (R,S,HD). 8/9. Coronation Street actor Ryan Thomas (Jason Grimshaw) and former co-star Julie Hesmondhalgh (Hayley Cropper) boldly take on the Cube in honour of their chosen charities.

10.00 16 Kids and Counting (R,S,HD). 1/6. The lives of seven of Britain’s largest families, exploring such issues as sibling rivalry, discipline and finances. The Radfords have 11 of their children christened.

10.00 The Mentalist (S,HD). 19/22. See Choices Above.

10 11

Later Live – with Jools … 10pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD).

6 7 8 9

Holby City, 8pm

11.10 The Guess List (R,S,HD). 4/6. With David Walliams, Ronnie Corbett, Kian Egan, Tess Daly and Kate Silverton. 11.50 Son of Rambow (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●●●

11.20 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD). 11.25 Vets in the Disaster Zone (R,S,HD). Veterinary experts working in the area affected by Typhoon Haiyan.

11.55 Wild Britain with Ray Mears (R,S,HD). 5/6. Exploring the Breckland in East Anglia.

11.00 Coppers (R,S). 4/5. Following police officers on the Saturdaynight beat. 11.55 Random Acts (S). Mysterious characters lurk in the undergrowth.

11.00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (S,HD). 14/24. An assistant district attorney falls to her death. 11.55 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 3/9. One of Megan’s former patients is murdered.

1.20 Weatherview (S). 1.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.25 Sign Zone: Monkey Planet (R,S). George McGavin reveals how primates live in close family and social groups. 1.25 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S,HD). 4.00 Schools – Make a Musical (R,S,HD). A bully and his victim find themselves lost in a fantasy world. 5.00 Schools – Same but Different (R,S,HD).

12.20 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.00 Poker (S). 12.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.20 Trans World Sport (R,S). Including an interview with Marcel Kittel. 2.20 FIM Superbike World Championship (R,S). 2.45 British GT (R,S). 3.15 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners (R,S,HD). 4.10 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Columbine: Killing Spree (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S).

after

12

72 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 2, 2014


The six remaining pairs of gardeners have to grow aubergines in greenhouses, before creating topiary trees and making pickles and piccalillis. Fern Britton presents.

ITV2 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

Families from the UK and America swap lives for a week. Edinburgh residents Craig and Debbie Stephens are keen singers who have set their sights on breaking the USA, so they head to Edinburgh’s twin town of San Diego, while their hosts, the more laid-back Fish-Taylor clan, enjoy the sights and sounds of Scotland.

E4 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Football’s Next Star (R,S,HD). 7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

TWIN TOWNS 9pm, Sky1

THE BIG ALLOTMENT CHALLENGE 8pm, BBC2

SON OF RAMBOW 11.50pm, BBC1

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE 7.30pm, ITV

A sheltered boy from a strict religious family becomes unlikely friends with an unruly classmate. Comedy, with Bill Milner and Will Poulter.

GOLD 8.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 9.00 Steptoe and Son. 10.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

The teenage wizard is chosen to represent Hogwarts School. Fourth instalment of the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Monday Night Football (HD). 11.30 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 12.00 FL72 Round-Up (HD). The final day of the regular season. 1.30 Monday Night Football (HD). Crystal Palace v Liverpool. 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show. 5.00 Premier League Review (HD).

The Vampire Diaries, 9pm

The Big Bang Theory, 6pm

Twin Towns, 9pm

The Thin Blue Line, 8.40pm

Live Football, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 35/40. Emma from Wolverhampton chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/17. Pilot episode of the comedy. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/17.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 8/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/22. The town’s graveyard is moved.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 11/11. Hobbo, Alvin and Entwistle try to bury a friend’s pet.

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 6.30 Revista De La Liga (HD). Highlights from La Liga.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 17/23. Featuring bad manners and baby animals. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 18/23.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3/24. Ted and Stella disagree about where they should live.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 6/22. Homer becomes a celebrity. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 9/21. Homer is transformed into a genius.

7.00 One Foot in the Grave (S). 1/5. Mrs Warboys’ flat is flooded. 7.40 The Two Ronnies Spectacle (S). 1/3.

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,HD). 16/22. Conspiracy theorist Jerry Ortega helps the team investigate a triple homicide connected to a top-secret Chinese satellite

8.40 The Thin Blue Line (S). 6/7. Patricia protests against a proposed bypass.

7.30 Live Scottish Premiership Football (HD). Dundee United v Aberdeen (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the top-flight match at Tannadice, where the visitors are aiming to improve their chances of finishing as runners-up.

9.00 Twin Towns (S,HD). 4/10. See Choices Above.

9.20 The Catherine Tate Show (S). 2/6. Jools Holland guest stars.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 13/24. Judith moves in with the guys. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 14/24. Alan tries to cut ties with Evelyn.

8.00 Crocodile Dundee II (S,HD) (1988). The Australian adventurer lures the drug dealers who kidnapped his girlfriend to the Outback for a showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, 9.00 The Vampire Diaries starring Paul Hogan and (S,HD). 19/22. Stefan tries Linda Kozlowski. Edited to distract Elena from for language and obsessing about the violence. ●●● state of her relationship with Damon, while Bonnie attempts to be realistic about the changes happening on the Other Side.

10.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 10.15 Football Special (HD). 1/25. A duck explodes on Manchester United v Heartbeat. Hull City. Action from the Premier League 10.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. fixture at Old Trafford, 2/25. Jim Bowen bursts where United looked to into song. do the double over the Tigers.

10.00 Storm City (R,HD). 3/4. 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.15 Marvel’s Agents of Four-part documentary (R,S,HD). 8/10. With SHIELD (R,S,HD). 18/22. in which Ben Fogle guests Katy B, Jason Coulson and the team explores the devastating Bradbury and Gino seek refuge from impact of extreme D’Acampo. Colonel Glenn Talbot in weather. In this edition, the last place anyone 10.50 40 Days and 40 Nights he focuses on floods and would look and begin to (S,HD) (2002). A man the damage they can uncover SHIELD’s most decides to remain cause. dangerous secrets. celibate for 40 days after a heart-rending break-up – only to fall head over heels in love. 11.15 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles Romantic comedy, (R,S,HD). 1/24. (R,S,HD). 15/24. Callen starring Josh Hartnett and Sam search for a 11.45 The Big Bang Theory and Shannyn Sossamon. retired assassin. (R,S,HD). 2/24. Amy is Including FIY Daily. caught in a conflict ●●●● between Sheldon and Penny.

11.00 Not Going Out (S). 2/6. A death in the family brings Tim and Kate closer. 11.40 Men Behaving Badly (S). 4/7. Gary’s father visits.

11.15 PL 100 Club (S,HD). The best of Paul Scholes’ 107 top-flight goals. 11.45 Football Gold (S). Manchester United v Manchester City from 1994/95.

12.45 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Judith moves in with the guys. 1.15 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Alan tries to cut ties with Evelyn. 1.35 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Stefan tries to distract Elena. 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.20 Men Behaving Badly (S). Gary celebrates his reunion with Dorothy. 1.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). Patricia protests against a proposed bypass. 1.30 The Catherine Tate Show (S). Jools Holland guest stars. 2.00 Men Behaving Badly (S). 2.30 Men Behaving Badly (S). 3.00 Close

12.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). Highlights from La Liga. 1.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 2.00 Football Special (HD). 3.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 3.30 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 4.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 4.30 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 5.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 5.30 PL 100 Club (S,HD).

12.15 Rude Tube: Extreme Rides (R,S,HD). 1.20 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.50 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.15 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 2.45 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.05 Rude Tube: Extreme Rides (R,S,HD). 3.55 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.50 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). A cyber-terrorism expert is abducted. 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

BBC3

7.00 Don’t Tell the Bride (R,S). A football fan tries to plan a fairytale wedding. 8.00 Eurovision Song Contest 2014 (S,HD). The first semi-final, live from Copenhagen in Denmark. 10.00 Sweat the Small Stuff (S,HD). With guests Yasmine Akram, Foxes and Bobby Mair. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Lauren finds an important e-mail sent the day Lucy died. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). Chris runs away to South America. 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 2.00 My Brother the Terrorist (R,S,HD). 3.00 Generation Sex: Secrets of South America (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys Goes to Ireland (R,HD). 8.00 Horizon: Seeing Stars (R,HD). Pioneering astronomers and their new supertelescopes. 9.00 The French Revolution: Tearing up History. Dr Richard Clay examines the art of the French Revolution. 10.00 Balmoral (R). 11.00 The Bridges That Built London with Dan Cruickshank (R,HD). 12.00 Britain’s Natural World (R,HD). 1.00 Killer Whales: Beneath the Surface – Natural World (R,HD). 2.00 Horizon: Seeing Stars (R,HD). 3.00 The French Revolution: Tearing up History (R).

TUESDAY May 6

from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 73


TV PICKS

BILLY CONNOLLY’S BIG SEND OFF 9pm, ITV

GREAT BRITISH MENU 7.30pm, BBC2

Adam Simmonds hopes that a trip to the Churchill War Rooms at London’s Imperial War Museum will inspire him as he, Tom Sellers and Adam Byatt prepare their main courses. The London and South East chefs are vying for a place in the regional final and the chance to cook at a banquet in St Paul’s Cathedral.

The comedian embarks on a personal journey exploring attitudes toward death, visiting a funeral convention and a voodoo ceremony.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Fake Britain (S). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 The Link (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.00 First Time on the Front Line (R,S,HD). 7.30 Animal Park (R,S). 8.15 Sign Zone: Countryside 999 (R,S). 9.00 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 10.00 Sign Zone: Bang Goes the Theory (R,S). 10.30 Sign Zone: See Hear (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Instant Restaurant (R,S). 1.45 One Man and His Campervan (R,S,HD). 2.15 The Pallisers (R,S,HD). 3.05 Coast (R,S). 3.30 Life in Cold Blood (R,S). 4.30 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

VERTIGO ROAD TRIP 9pm, BBC1

NCIS 9pm, Channel 5

People with an extreme fear of heights undergo exposure therapy, attempting a series of increasingly difficult challenges in locations around the world. Presented by Mel Giedroyc.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S,HD). 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S,HD). 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show (S,HD).

A woman is stabbed to death after stepping out of her shower, becoming the latest victim of the Dead Rose Slasher. Gibbs is approached by his old friend and barber Frankie Dean, who shares his concern that his son Cameron may be the killer. Meanwhile, Tony has to take Ned Dorneget under his wing.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 10.55 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 11.55 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Locals celebrate their roots on National Day. 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.20 NCIS (R,S). Gibbs’s mentor is linked to a double murder. 3.20 Film: Backyard Wedding (S) (2010). Drama, starring Alicia Witt. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Under Offer: Estate Agents … 8pm

Big Star’s Little Star, 8pm

Cardinal Burns, 10.30pm

NCIS, 9pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD). By the Labour Party.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S). By the Labour Party. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 11/25. Marge starts her own business. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sinead spots an ideal opportunity to cause Lindsey further torment.

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 2/6. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament. By the Labour Party.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the live magazine show. Followed by Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 16/20. A couple hoping to move to the Portuguese capital of Lisbon. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 23/45. See Choices Above.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Leyla discovers the inheritance money is rightfully hers. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Anna confesses to Roy that she has done something terrible.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Benidorm ER (R,S,HD). An 18-year-old rugby player is treated after injuring his foot kicking a metal pole. Followed by 5 News Update.

6 7 8 9

MasterChef, 8pm

8.00 MasterChef (S,HD). 19/24. The semi-finals begin and the six remaining cooks take on a challenge that sees them sent to Albert Square, preparing lunch for 120 busy EastEnders cast and crew members.

8.00 Under Offer: Estate Agents on the Job (S,HD). 5/6. Darren Griffiths shows the grittier side of estate agency as he attends another eviction in the east London suburb of Dagenham and deals with a cockroachinfested house.

8.00 Big Star’s Little Star (S,HD). 7/8. A peek into the home lives of the stars, with Jake Wood and his son, Austin Healey and his twin daughters, and Sunetra Sarker with her son. Stephen Mulhern hosts.

8.00 The Supervet (S). 1/4. See Choices Above.

8.00 7/7 Commuter Carnage: Minute by Minute (S,HD). New series. Documentary telling the stories behind some of the most notorious events in modern British history. Followed by 5 News at 9.

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Vertigo Road Trip (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 The Birth of Empire: The East India Company (S,HD). 2/2. Dan Snow concludes his history of the trading company by looking at the events that led to its downfall, examining the impact of the Indian Rebellion of 1857.

9.00 Billy Connolly’s Big Send Off (S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

9.00 24 Hours in A&E (S,HD). 1/7. New series. A four-year-old boy is rushed in with a broken thighbone, while the medical team suspects a 19-year-old rugby player has suffered neck and spinal injuries.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 17/24. See Choices Above.

11

10.00 QI (R,S,HD). 8/18. With Isy Suttie, Tim Minchin and Bill Bailey. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.35 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD). By the Green Party. Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.40 Match of the Day (S,HD). Sunderland v West Bromwich Albion. 11.40 Room 101 – Extra Storage (S,HD). 3/8. With Lee Mack, Dave Myers and Ruby Wax.

11.20 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD). By the Green Party. 11.25 Watermen: A Dirty Business (R,S). 2/6. The problem of fat blocking up drains.

12.20 Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.25 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S,HD). 12.55 Sign Zone: Kim Philby – His Most Intimate Betrayal (R,S,HD). 1.55 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S,HD).

after

12

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.30 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S). By the Green Party. 10.35 The Boat That Rocked (S,HD) (2009). See Choices Above. ●●●

1.00 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

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10.00 Derek (S,HD). 3/6. Hannah and Tom celebrate happy news. 10.30 Cardinal Burns (S,HD). 2/6. Paranormal investigators Phil and Jase attend a demon extraction.

10.00 Castle (S,HD). 21/24. The star of a college swimming team is found dead in a pool. 10.55 Castle (S,HD). 22/24. Beckett’s former mentor Mike Royce is murdered and she heads out to Los Angeles to start her own inquiry after Montgomery orders her off the case, as she is personally involved.

11.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (R,S). 6/15. With Paloma Faith and Heston Blumenthal.

11.55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R,S,HD). 12/19. Benson and Lake track down a serial killer.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 Film: With You, Without You (HD) (2013). Premiere. Sri Lankan drama, starring Shyam Fernando. ●●● 1.45 Film: DOA (S) (1950). ●●● 3.10 Film: Destination Moon (S) (1950). ●●● 4.50 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). 5.45 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.50 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Family Massacre: The Jersey Slayer (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S).

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The US drama makes its eagerly awaited return, four years after Jack Bauer waged a one-man war against a political conspiracy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; becoming a wanted man in the process. Now heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s back and in London, just as his old boss James Heller â&#x20AC;&#x201C; now the US president â&#x20AC;&#x201C; is paying a visit.

New series. Documentary following the work of a pioneering veterinary practice, where some of the hardest-to-cure pets receive cutting-edge treatment and surgery.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.30 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). 7.25 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

E4 6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Next Star (R,S,HD). 7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

24: LIVE ANOTHER DAY 9pm, Sky1

THE SUPERVET 8pm, Channel 4

THE BOAT THAT ROCKED 10.35pm, ITV

A host of eclectic DJs entertain 1960s Britain through a pirate radio station, broadcasting from a vessel in the North Sea. However, a high-ranking government official is determined to bring an end to the rogue outfit and the individuals responsible for its continued existence. Richard Curtisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s comedy, starring Bill Nighy, Rhys Ifans, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Kenneth Branagh and Nick Frost.

GOLD 6.00 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 6.30 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 7.00 As Time Goes By (S). 7.40 Goodnight Sweetheart. 8.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 9.00 Bewitched. 10.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 10.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 11.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 12.00 Football Special (HD). 1.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 2.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 3.00 Football Special (HD). 4.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 5.00 Spanish Football Gold (HD).

White Chicks, 10pm

The Tomorrow People, 9pm

24: Live Another Day, 9pm

Open All Hours, 7pm

Live Football Special, 7pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 6/40. Kim from Bristol hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/17. Leonard asks a woman out. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/17.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 10/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 9/22. Bart and Lisa have families of their own.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 2/6. Pearl throws Howard out of the house.

6.00 Boots â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; All (HD). Super League review.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 19/23. Camcorder clips. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 20/23. Featuring animals behaving badly.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 7.30 Youngers (S,HD). 1/8. New series. The comedy drama returns.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/22. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 10/21. Marge helps a former convict get a job at the school.

7.00 Open All Hours (S). 3/6. Granvilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bike develops a squeak. 7.40 Open All Hours (S). 4/6. Arkwright decides to make his own product.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 15/24. Charlie persuades Alan to visit Las Vegas with him. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 16/24. Judith goes on holiday.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 13/24. A hotel guest stirs up trouble. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 14/24. The guys buy fake tickets for the Comic-Con.

8.00 The Simpsons (HD). 5/22. Homer helps to deliver a child. 8.30 The Simpsons (HD). 6/22. Lisa runs for class representative â&#x20AC;&#x201C; against her best friend.

8.20 Porridge (S). 3/6. Fletcher and Godber while away a long night.

7.00 Live Football Special (HD). Manchester City v Aston Villa (Kick-off 7.45pm). All the action from the Premier League match at the Etihad Stadium, as the hosts look to boost their title chances.

9.00 Through the Keyhole (R,HD). 5/6. Keith Lemon invites actor Larry Lamb and former Spice Girl Emma Bunton to join Dave Berry on the panel as he noses around the homes of three mystery celebrities.

9.00 The Tomorrow People (S,HD). 18/22. Disillusioned by Jedikiahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lies about his father, Stephen decides to bring in a breakout to Ultra to see if things have really changed for the better.

9.00 24: Live Another Day (R,S,HD). 1/12. See Choices Above.

9.00 Not Going Out (S). 2/6. A death in the family brings Tim and Kate closer. 9.40 Blackadder II (S). 5/6. Edmund is challenged to a drinking contest.

10.00 White Chicks (S,HD) 10.00 Rude Tube 2012 (2004). Two black male (R,S,HD). 1/6. Alex Zane FBI agents are forced to presents 50 internet pose as white female videos on the theme of debutantes to protect a failure, featuring couple of heiresses from spelling bees, crashed a kidnapping plot. Lamborghinis, the Comedy, starring worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worst bedroom brothers Shawn and band and a skateboard Marlon Wayans. â&#x2014;? disaster.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 12.45 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.15 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). With Sinitta, Harry Judd, Iain Stirling and Laura Whitmore. 2.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

10.20 Blackadder II (S). 6/6. 10.00 24: Live Another Day 10.15 Football Special (HD). Edmund and Lord (R,S,HD). 2/12. Jack tries Sunderland v West Melchett are kidnapped. to protect President Bromwich Albion and James Heller from a Manchester City v Aston planned assassination â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Villa. Highlights of the but CIA operatives are in Premier League matches hot pursuit of the at the Stadium of Light former anti-terrorist and Etihad Stadium. agent.

11.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 5/11. Binky tries to keep her distance from Alex.

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 22/24. Deeks tries to protect his best friend from a group of arms traffickers.

11.00 Harry Enfield and Chums (S). 3/6. The Terminator invades a period drama. 11.40 Harry Enfield and Chums (S). 4/6.

11.15 Football Gold (S,HD). Manchester City v Queens Park Rangers from the 2011/12 season. 11.30 PL 100 Club (S,HD).

12.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 12.35 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 1.05 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 1.40 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.05 Rude Tube 2012 (R,S,HD). 2.55 Being Erica (R,S,HD). 3.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). A Navy Seal imposter is set alight. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 Porridge (S). Fletcher and Godber while away a long night. 1.00 Getting On. Kimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hopes of a quiet night shift are dashed. 1.30 Harry Enfield and Chums (S). The Terminator invades a period drama. 2.00 Harry Enfield and Chums (S). 2.30 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.00 Close

12.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 12.30 Football League Gold (HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD). 2.00 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Story? (HD). 3.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 3.30 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 4.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 4.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 5.00 Football League Gold (HD).

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). The presenters build their own motor homes. 8.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell the Bride (R,S). A hopeless romantic plans his wedding day. 9.00 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (S,HD). The final week of placements. Last in the series. 10.00 Orphan Black (S,HD). Alison struggles with Aynsleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death. 10.40 Family Guy (R,S). Brian gets a job at The New Yorker. 11.05 Family Guy (R,S). 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). 11.50 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.35 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (R,S,HD). 1.35 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 2.15 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 2.45 Kerry (R,S,HD). 3.00 Cinderellas of the Slums: Secrets of South America (R,S).

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12.35 Lost Cities of the Ancients (R,HD). 1.35 Britain by Bike (R). 2.05 The Richard Burton Diaries (R). 2.35 Burton and Taylor (R).

    

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7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys Goes to Ireland (R,HD). 8.00 Lost Cities of the Ancients (R,HD). The ancient Egyptian capital Piramesse. 9.00 Burton and Taylor (R,HD). Drama based on real-life events, starring Dominic West and Helena Bonham Carter. 10.25 The Richard Burton Diaries (R). 10.55 Parks and Recreation (R). 11.15 Parks and Recreation (R). 11.35 Byzantium: A Tale of Three Cities (R,HD).

WEDNESDAY May 7

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 75


TV PICKS

POSH PAWN 8pm, Channel 4

A former model brings in her collection of designer bags and jewellery, while Prestige boss James Constantinou attracts unwanted attention.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Fake Britain (S). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 The Link (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

PAUL Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;GRADY: FOR THE LOVE OF DOGS 8.30pm, ITV

The comedian continues to help staff at Battersea Dogs & Cats Home care for stray and abandoned animals, but faces a delicate challenge when a behaviourist enlists him to work with a Rottweiler-bull mastiff. The team try to find a home for two dogs that have a close friendship.

BBC2

7.05 First Time on the Front Line 7.35 Animal Park 8.20 Countryside 999 9.05 Mind the Gap: London vs the Rest 10.05 Gardenersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; World 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00 Instant Restaurant 1.45 One Man and His Campervan 2.15 Pallisers 3.05 Coast 3.30 Life in Cold Blood 4.30 Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Food Tour of Britain 5.15 Antiques Roadshow 5.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD).

PARKING MAD 9pm, BBC1

Bailiffs find a car with outstanding fines worth more than ÂŁ3,000 and a masked parking campaigner takes the council to court over the wording on its tickets. Last in the series.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S,HD). 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S,HD). 5.00 The Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady Show (S,HD).

PERSON OF INTEREST 10pm, Channel 5

After a three-day silence that leaves Finch and Reese wondering if it has been affected by Kara Stantonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s virus, the Machine produces six seemingly random numbers at once. After a bit of detective work, Finch deduces they are searching for a serial killer who is assuming the identities of his victims.

Channel 4

6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 10.55 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 11.55 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Her Husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Betrayal (S,HD) (2013). Premiere. Thriller, starring Jacqueline MacInnes Wood. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 The dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s headlines. (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours Montague takes Imogen hostage. (R,S,HD).

Live Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s World Cup â&#x20AC;Ś 7pm

Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady: For the â&#x20AC;Ś 8.30pm

Ramsayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

Person of Interest, 10pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD).

6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 24/45. The London and South East chefs prepare desserts.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S). By the English Democrats. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12/25. An avalanche traps Homer and Mr Burns. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 3/6. A restaurant manager addicted to sugary foods. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topical stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Peter urges Lauren to stop looking into Lucyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mystery e-mailer. Followed by Regional News.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Leyla breaks into the safe, only to find the money is missing. 7.30 Living with Dementia: Tonight (S,HD).

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Officers patrol during Black Eye Friday â&#x20AC;&#x201C; one of Cumbriaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most alcohol-fuelled nights of the year, and help a woman trapped inside a burning car.

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8.00 MasterChef (S,HD). 20/24. The semi-finalists enter the kitchens of Hever Castle, Kent, to cook a menu pushing them to the limits of their abilities, then face an invention test using scraps and leftovers.

7.00 Live Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s World Cup Football (S,HD). England v Ukraine (Kick-off 7.30pm). Coverage of the Group 6 qualifier at New Meadow, Shrewsbury, as the hosts look to extend their 100 per cent record.

8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Donna tries to sell the stolen jewellery to an old contact. 8.30 Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady: For the Love of Dogs (R,S,HD). 3/7. See Choices Above.

8.00 Posh Pawn (S). 4/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Beware! Cowboy Builders (S,HD). Dominic Littlewood and Gabrielle Blackman head to Sheffield, where a builder has turned the family home of husband-and-wife doctors into an unfinished construction site. Followed by 5 News at 9.

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9.00 Parking Mad (S,HD). 4/4. See Choices Above.

9.30 Blurred Lines: The New Battle of the Sexes (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Wanted: A Family of My Own (S,HD). 3/4. A couple are quickly matched with a toddler in foster care, although there is no guarantee they will be approved, while two prospective parents face an unexpected turn of events.

9.00 Hestonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Great British Food (S). 2/4. Heston Blumenthal celebrates the British curry house experience, putting his own stamp on chicken tikka masala and lamb biryani and creating poppadoms measuring almost a metre wide.

9.00 The OAP Killer: First Kill, Last Kill (S,HD). Criminologist David Wilson explores the differences between serial killer Kenneth Erskineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first and last murders in an effort to understand what triggered them.

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6 7 8 9

Question Time, 10.35pm

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.35 Question Time (S,HD). 30/38. Grant Shapps, Shirley Williams and Chuka Umunna are among the panellists answering topical questions from the audience in Southampton.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.30 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S). By the Conservative Party. 10.35 Billy Connollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Send Off (R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two.

10.00 Ramsayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 3/14. 10.55 The Island with Bear Grylls (R,S). 1/5. Reality show in which 13 British men are challenged to survive on a remote, uninhabited Pacific island for a month, stripped of all the luxuries of 21st-century living.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11.35 This Week (S). The past seven days in politics.

11.20 The Birth of Empire: The East India Company (R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. Dan Snow examines the companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s downfall.

11.35 Harbour Lives (R,S,HD). 4/8. Ben Fogle is given a tour of a ÂŁ14million property in Sandbanks.

12.20 Holiday Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Cap My Benefits (R,S). 1.20 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S,HD). 4.00 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Exploring the Past: Post War Britain (R,S,HD). 5.00 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Children of World War Two (R,S,HD). 5.30 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; History Hunt (R,S,HD). 5.55 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Wonders of Nature: Monarch Butterfly â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Spectacle (R,S,HD).

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Living with Dementia: Tonight (R,HD). Fiona Foster meets experts and carers helping people cope with the condition. 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

10 11

â&#x2013;ź

after

12

11.55 Access. Showbiz news and gossip.

12.00 24 Hours in A&E (R,S,HD). 12.55 Random Acts (S). 1.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic (R,S). 1.55 Love for Sale with Rupert Everett (R,S,HD). 2.50 How to Get a Council House (R,S,HD). 3.45 Unreported World (R,S,HD). 4.10 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade (R,S,HD). 4.40 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD).

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76 WEEKEND

from Friday, May 2, 2014

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10.00 Person of Interest (S,HD). 17/22. See Choices Above. 10.55 Person of Interest (S,HD). 18/22. Reese and Finch head to Atlantic City, where they discover that a shady casino owner has been using a group of elderly customers to launder drug money.

ĂŹ ""    " ĂŹ  " "    # "  '    #  $   ĂŹ #    $ 

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Locals celebrate their roots on National Day. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A Southampton home is spruced up. 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). Greek artist El Greco. 5.10 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S).

     

 


Kirsty Wark explores whether there is a new trend in society at large in which it is acceptable to write and talk about women in an overtly sexual manner.

ITV2 7.45 Jeremy Kyle Show 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 Real Housewives of Orange County 10.30 Real Housewives of Miami 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Coronation Street 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker 3.00 Jeremy Kyle Show 5.10 Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

Gabriel and Riley travel to Mexico to find a senator’s kidnapped daughter, whose captors, a drug cartel, have said they will return the girl safe and sound if her father stops the sale of a US spy satellite. However, the inquiry takes a turn when Lillian uncovers a connection between the drug kingpin and her father.

E4 6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea 10.00 New Girl 10.30 Happy Endings 11.00 Charmed 12.00 Rules of Engagement 12.30 Hollyoaks 1.00 How I Met Your Mother 2.00 The Big Bang Theory 3.00 Rules of Engagement 4.00 New Girl. 4.30 Happy Endings 5.00 How I Met Your Mother

Sky1 6.00 Football’s Next Star (R,S,HD). 7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

SATELLITEPICKS

INTELLIGENCE 9pm, Sky1

BLURRED LINES: THE NEW BATTLE OF THE SEXES 9.30pm, BBC2

JONAH FROM TONGA 10pm, BBC3

THE FIRST GEORGIANS: THE GERMAN KINGS WHO MADE BRITAIN 9pm, BBC4

Comedy spin-off following Summer Heights High’s 14-yearold miscreant Jonah Takalua as he starts a new life.

GOLD 6.30 ’Allo ’Allo! 7.00 As Time Goes By 7.40 One Foot in the Grave 9.00 Bewitched. 10.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 ’Allo ’Allo! 3.40 As Time Goes By 4.20 Open All Hours (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

Dr Lucy Worsley investigates how George II had to adapt to a change in society.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 10.00 Football Special (HD). 11.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 12.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD). Sunderland v West Bromwich Albion and Manchester City v Aston Villa. 2.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 3.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 4.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 5.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD).

Celebrity Juice, 10pm

2 Broke Girls, 9.30pm

Arrow, 8pm

Outnumbered, 9pm

Ringside, 10.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 36/40. John from St Albans chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/17. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 6/17. Penny hosts a Halloween party.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/22. Bart is placed on medication.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 4/6. Pearl is led to believe Howard is living as a tramp.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 1/26. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2/26. A cat has an accident involving a DVD player.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Tegan makes an illadvised effort to help Ste. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 15/22. Bart’s graffiti impresses a group of professional artists. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 11/21.

7.00 Blackadder II (S). 5/6. Edmund is challenged to a drinking contest. 7.40 Blackadder II (S). 6/6. Edmund and Lord Melchett are kidnapped.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 17/24. Charlie injures his back. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 18/24. Charlie and Alan pretend to be a couple.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (S,HD). 15/24. Sheldon and Amy take a train ride to Napa Valley. 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 14/24.

8.00 Arrow (S,HD). 21/23. Slade threatens to destroy everything and everyone Oliver loves.

8.20 Porridge (S). 4/6. The inmates face a day of hard labour.

7.00 Premier League World (HD). A round-up of the latest news. 7.30 FL72 Live (HD). The first leg of a Championship play-off semi-final (Kickoff 7.45pm). Coverage of the fixture between the sides that finished sixth and third respectively.

9.00 Tom Daley Goes Global (S,HD). 5/6. The diver and his friend travel across Spain, France and Switzerland towards Tom’s next big challenge – the world’s most famous bungee jump off the Verzasca Dam in the Swiss Alps.

9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 17/22. Peralta intervenes to stop Boyle rushing things with his new girlfriend. 9.30 2 Broke Girls (S,HD). 14/24. Deke takes Max back to his place after their first date.

9.00 Intelligence (S,HD). 5/13. See Choices Above.

9.00 Outnumbered (S). 3/6. Sue gets stuck in traffic with the children. 9.40 Outnumbered (S). 4/6. Ben takes his talent for lying to a new level.

10.20 Absolutely Fabulous (S). 3/6. Edina, Patsy and Saffy go to Morocco.

10.00 Rise as One (HD). A profile of the Japan team that won the 2011 women’s World Cup. 10.30 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine, including highlights of recent bouts and interviews with the stars.

11.00 Rude Tube: Ultimate 11.35 Dads (S,HD). 15/19. Champions (R,S). 3/6. Warner gets the house The bizarre champions to himself when Camilla of the online universe. visits her sister.

11.00 Absolutely Fabulous 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S). 4/6. Edina and Patsy (R,S,HD). 24/24. The fall out. team investigates Hetty’s disappearance. 11.40 Porridge (S). 4/6. The inmates face a day of hard labour.

11.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). A review of the latest round of fixtures from the Scottish top flight.

12.00 Dads (S,HD). Eli and Warner get too close to the consultants they have hired. 12.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Featuring potty pets and fabulous falls. 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). The team searches for Hetty in Romania. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.00 Live NFL Draft (HD). Coverage from the Radio City Music Hall in New York. 5.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). The best of Didier Drogba’s 100 Premier League goals for Chelsea. 5.30 Premier League World (HD). A round-up of the latest news.

10.00 Celebrity Juice (S,HD). 10.00 The IT Crowd (R,S). 3/6. 10.00 Revolution (R,S,HD). 19/20. Neville confronts 9/10. With guests Fazer The friends find their Charlie about his son’s and Chris Ramsey. lives heading in whereabouts, while different directions. 10.50 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). 2/6. Miles is separated from Topical comedy show, 10.30 The IT Crowd (R,S). 4/6. the group after presented by Caroline Jen asserts herself as encountering some Flack. manager. Texas Rangers.

12.05 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 12.35 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 1.05 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.05 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2.30 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2.55 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 3.25 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.45 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.20 Outnumbered (S). Sue gets stuck in traffic with the children. 1.00 Outnumbered (S). Ben takes his talent for lying to a new level. 1.30 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edina, Patsy and Saffy go to Morocco. 2.00 Absolutely Fabulous (S). 2.30 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.00 Close

BBC3

7.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). Oliver and Charles take their classes on school trips. 8.00 Eurovision Song Contest 2014 (S,HD). The second live semifinal. 10.00 Jonah from Tonga (S,HD). See Choices Above. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Peter urges Lauren to stop looking into Lucy’s mystery e-mailer. 11.00 Family Guy Lois discovers that she has an estranged brother. (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.50 Jonah from Tonga (R,S,HD). 1.20 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 1.50 In the Flesh (R,S,HD). 2.50 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 8.00 Orbit: Earth’s Extraordinary Journey (R,HD). An examination of Earth’s orbit from January to the March equinox. 9.00 The First Georgians: The German Kings Who Made Britain (HD). See Choices Above. 10.00 Ripping Yarns (R). 10.35 Some Boffins with Jokes Some of the nation’s sharpest minds tells their favourite gags. (R,HD). 11.05 The French Revolution: Tearing up History (R). 12.05 Hinterland (R,HD). 1.40 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R).

THURSDAY May 8

from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 77


TV PICKS

THE TRIP TO ITALY 10pm, BBC2

Steveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assistant Emma and his son Joe join him and Rob on the final leg of their tour as they take a ferry to Capri, where they have lunch at Il Riccio. Last in the series.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Fake Britain (S). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.30 First Time on the Front Line (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 The Link (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

WEEKEND ESCAPES WITH WARWICK DAVIS 8pm, ITV

The actor and his family take the campervan to north Wales to experience a range of unusual local pursuits and customs. Working up a sweat, Warwick pumps iron at a weightlifting centre in Holyhead, before he becomes an honorary Jedi Knight.

BBC2

6.10 First Time on the Front Line (R,S,HD). 6.40 Sign Zone 8.55 Live Formula 1: Spanish Grand Prix â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Practice One (S,HD). 10.35 The Travel Show (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live Formula 1: Spanish Grand Prix â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Practice Two (S,HD). 2.35 The Pallisers (R,S,HD). 3.30 Life in Cold Blood (R,S). 4.30 The Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Food Tour of Britain (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S).

HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU 9pm, BBC1

Actor and comedian David Mitchell hosts the quiz, with comedy screenwriter Andy Hamilton taking sides with either Paul Merton or Ian Hislop as they ridicule those in power.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Jo Frost Family Matters (S,HD). 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (R,S). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Ejector Seat (S,HD). 5.00 The Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Grady Show (S,HD).

NATURAL WORLD: THE PYGMY HIPPO â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A VERY SECRET LIFE 9pm, BBC2

Solitary, secretive and extremely hard to find, the pygmy hippo is one of natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last great mysteries. This documentary follows Australian ecologist Wei-Yeen Yap as she heads to a remote part of the West African rainforest to investigate its life and habits.

Channel 4

6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S). 10.55 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 11.55 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Live coverage of four races from Chester. 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Draw It! (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.40 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.40 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (R,S,HD). Dr Ferdinand has to break the news of a womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dementia to her children. 1.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Mystery Woman: Sing Me a Murder (S) (2005). Crime drama, starring Kellie Martin. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.00 Freaky Eaters USA (S). 4/6. 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament. By the British National Party.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). The locals throw Moira a surprise hen party. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Peter arrives back from rehab and asks to see Simon.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.35 Unreported World (S). 5/8. A taboo against twins in a remote area of Madagascar.

7.00 Bloody Tales of the Tower (S,HD). Suzannah Lipscomb investigates the fates of three people imprisoned in the Tower of London. Followed by 5 News Update.

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Ice Road Truckers, 8pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 13/25. The family hires a Mary Poppins-like nanny. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Tegan makes an ill-advised effort to help Ste.

â&#x2013;ź

Gogglebox, 9pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

â&#x2013;ź

Lewis, 9pm

6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 17/20. A woman hoping to relocate to Italyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Marche region. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 25/45. The two remaining London and South East chefs prepare their entire menus.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Chris Evans and Alex Jones. 7.30 A Question of Sport (S,HD). With Scott Quinnell and Nick Matthew. Followed by Regional News. 8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Fat Boy is jealous of Dotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s growing relationship with Charlie. 8.30 MasterChef (S,HD). 21/24. The remaining five hopefuls cook for a place in the final.

8.00 The Minster (S). 1/3. New series. Documentary going behind the scenes at York Minster. 8.30 Gardenersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; World (S,HD). 9/31. From the RHS Malvern Spring Festival at the Three Counties Showground.

8.00 Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis (S,HD). 5/6. See Choices Above. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Anna prepares to confess her infidelity to Owen.

8.00 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (S,HD). 19/22. With his world turned upside down, Coulson races to save the life of his one true love, as the mystery of The Cellist is finally revealed.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). The drivers are in a race against the weather and one another as the pressure at the top of the load-count chart intensifies as the season enters its final few days. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Have I Got News for You (S,HD). 6/9. See Choices Above. 9.30 Outnumbered (R,S). 6/6. Sue and Pete try to resolve their differences.

9.00 Natural World: The Pygmy Hippo â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Very Secret Life (S,HD). 5/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Lewis (R,S,HD). 4/6. Part two of two. The detective is convinced Liam has information relating to the death of Dr Whitby, while Hathaway makes a discovery at the Faulknersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; farmhouse in Croatia.

9.00 Gogglebox (S). 10/12. Capturing viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; instant reactions and lively discussions on what they are watching on TV from the comfort of their own sofas. Narrated by Caroline Aherne.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 18/24. The team investigates the death of a marine shot dead by a sniper in Afghanistan and Abby discovers that the bullet that killed him was made in America.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). 6/13. Light-hearted chat and music.

10.00 The Trip to Italy (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

10 11

Gardenersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; World, 8.30pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

The Graham Norton Show, 10.35pm

11.20 Bad Education (S,HD). 5/7. Mr Fraser organises a guest speaker for Drugs Awareness Day. 11.55 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. David finds incriminating evidence against Max.

11.00 Weather (S). 11.05 Later â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with Jools Holland (S,HD). 4/7. Extended edition. With Aloe Blacc, the Horrors, the Afghan Whigs, Little Dragon, Sturgill Simpson and Roger Cicero.

1.50 Weatherview (S). 1.55 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Film: Better Mus Come (S) (2010). Premiere. Jamaican crime drama, starring Sheldon Shepherd. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.50 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S). With Grant Shapps, Shirley Williams and Chuka Umunna. 2.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

â&#x2013;ź

after

12

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.30 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S). By an Independence from Europe. 10.35 GoldenEye (S,HD) (1995). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

1.00 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (S). 7/15. See Choices Above.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). 10/24. Callen and Sam investigate when an ex-marine is killed by an explosive device hidden in his mobile phone and discover the other members of his bomb disposal unit are also in danger.

11.05 Rude Tube (S,HD). 3/8. Alex Zane presents 50 of the internetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most entertaining stunts.

11.00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). 6/6. Two friends whose 22 dogs disrupted the peace of a South Ayrshire village. Last in the series.

12.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 12.30 Film: The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (S,HD) (1994). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.55 Random Acts (S). 2.00 Happy Endings (S,HD). 2.20 Happy Endings (S,HD). 2.45 Southland (S,HD). 3.30 Desperate Housewives (R,S,HD). 4.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.10 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.35 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 The Woman with 40 Cats â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and Other Pet Hoarders (R,S,HD). People whose love of animals has become an obsession. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.15 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S).

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8 OUT OF 10 CATS 11.15pm, E4

The Bafta-winning funnyman presents as Pop star Lily Allen chats and performs her latest single Our Time, and US rocker Courtney Love talks about her forthcoming UK tour.

ITV2 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD).

Team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by guests including Tess Daly, Joe Wilkinson and Aisling Bea to answer questions based on opinion polls carried out around the country, finding out who best understands what is going on in Britain today. Irreverent panel show, hosted by Jimmy Carr.

E4 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

ALAN CARR: CHATTY MAN 10pm, Channel 4

GOLDENEYE 10.35pm, ITV

GOLD

6.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Next Star (R,S,HD). 7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

THE NAKED GUN 33 1/3: THE FINAL INSULT 12.30am, Channel 4

James Bond goes in pursuit of a satellite weapon that has fallen into the hands of a mysterious criminal. Spy adventure, with Pierce Brosnan and Sean Bean.

8.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 9.00 Bewitched. 10.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 11.00 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.20 Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? (S). 1.00 Bewitched. 2.00 I Dream of Jeannie. 3.00 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

Comedy sequel, starring Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, OJ Simpson, George Kennedy and Fred Ward.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 10.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 10.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest (S). 11.00 Premier League Darts (HD). 2.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). The first leg of a Championship play-off semi-final. 3.30 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine. 4.30 WWE: Raw (HD). Wrestling action from the States.

American Pie, 9pm

Predators, 9pm

Star-Crossed, 8pm

The Royle Family, 9pm

The Fantasy ... 6.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 1/40. Londoner Tom hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/17. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/17.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 14/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 2/22. Halloweeninspired stories.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 6/6. The final episode of the longrunning comedy.

6.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). A discussion on key fantasy football issues.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 5/26. Including a barbecue blaze and treadmill trauma. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 6/26.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Jason and Hollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funds begin to dwindle. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 5/24. Stellaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sister is jilted.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 15/22. Homer gets a new wife. With the voice of Ricky Gervais. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 12/21.

7.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4/6. One of Delâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s old flames turns up out of the blue. 7.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 5/6.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). The first leg of a Championship play-off semi-final (Kickoff 7.45pm). Coverage of the fixture between the sides that finished fifth and fourth respectively.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 19/24. Alan takes a shine to Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s former girlfriend. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 20/24. Judith bills Alan for Jakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shoes.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 14/24. Marshall delivers a devastating blow to Barney. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 15/24.

8.00 Star-Crossed (S,HD). 6/13. Greg attends Graysonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; charity ball with trouble in mind, having discovered they are the leaders of the vigilante group.

8.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 6/6. The Trotters prepare for war.

9.00 American Pie (S,HD) (1999). Four teenage boys make a pact to lose their virginity before the high-school prom, but cause huge embarrassment in the process. Comedy, starring Jason Biggs and Chris Klein. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.00 Predators (S,HD) (2010). Hardened fighters from across the globe are taken to an alien jungle planet to become prey in a big-game hunt. Sci-fi thriller sequel, starring Adrien Brody and Topher Grace. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 17/24. Jay imparts some pearls of wisdom to Luke. 9.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3/12. With Abbey Clancy and Neil Morrissey.

9.00 The Royle Family (S). 4/6. The family celebrates Jimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birthday. 9.40 The Royle Family (S). 5/6. Dave is accused of flirting.

10.20 The Royle Family (S). 10.00 Intelligence (R,S,HD). 6/6. Jim grumbles about 5/13. Gabriel and Riley Deniseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impending travel to Mexico to find wedding. a senatorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s daughter, who has been kidnapped by a drug cartel wanting to stop the sale of a spy satellite.

10.55 Take Me Out (R,S,HD). 4/8. A basketball player, a gym owner, a music journalist and a product designer enter the love lift in the hope of impressing 30 single women. Paddy McGuinness presents the dating show.

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D (R,S). 7.15 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). The Time Lord must sacrifice himself. 8.00 How to Win Eurovision (R,S). The attributes required to become a Eurovision winner. 10.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). The comedianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favourite sports stories from the past six series. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Fat Boy is jealous of Dotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s relationship with Charlie. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.10 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Family Guy (R,S). 12.55 Family Guy (R,S). 1.20 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 2.30 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 3.00 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 3.30 Some Girls (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 BBC Young Musician of the Year 2014 (HD). Five young pianists compete. 9.00 The Rolling Stones Return to Hyde Park: Sweet Summer Sun (R,HD). The veteran bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2013 London concerts. 10.10 The Rolling Stones at the BBC (R). 10.55 When Rock Goes Acoustic (R). The role of the acoustic guitar in rock music. 11.55 Acoustic at the BBC (R). Acoustic guitar performances from the BBC archives. 12.55 The Rolling Stones Return to Hyde Park: Sweet Summer Sun (R,HD). 2.10 The Rolling Stones at the BBC (R). 2.55 When Rock Goes Acoustic (R).

FRIDAY May 9

10.00 Rise as One (HD). A look back at the match between USA and Iran in the 1998 World Cup. 10.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). John Fendley and Paul Merson present a discussion on key fantasy football issues.

11.00 Early Doors (S). 3/6. 11.15 8 Out of 10 Cats 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.30 Premier League Jeanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hopes of a holiday (R,S,HD). 4/10. See (R,S,HD). 2/24. The CEO Preview (HD). A look are dashed. Choices Above. of a software company is ahead to the final kidnapped. 11.40 Early Doors (S). 4/6. The weekend of the Premier 11.50 Friday Night Dinner football card winner is League season. (R,S,HD). 1/7. Jonny announced. discovers a secret in Adamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s childhood diary. 12.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 12.40 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.10 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed Extreme! (R,S). 2.05 The Vamps: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 2.15 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD). 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD). 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.20 The Midnight Beast (R,S,HD). 12.50 The Work Experience (R,S,HD). 1.25 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.25 Balls of Steel Australia (R,S). 2.50 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,S,HD). 3.15 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). Sam goes undercover as a bomb specialist. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Royle Family (S). The family celebrates Jimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birthday. 1.00 The Royle Family (S). Dave is accused of flirting. 1.30 The Royle Family (S). Jim grumbles about Deniseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impending wedding. 2.00 Early Doors (S). Jeanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hopes of a holiday are dashed. 2.30 Early Doors (S). 3.00 Close

12.00 Champions League Weekly (HD). 12.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 2.30 Premier League Preview (HD). 3.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 5.00 Premier League Preview (HD). 5.30 Champions League Weekly (HD).

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from Friday, May 2, 2014

WEEKEND 79


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The Weekend 02 May 2014