Reminiscences of Sindh

e s c n o e f c s S i n i i n d m e h R

Life and Times of K.K. Ramnani

We Miss You!

Preface I was very enthusiastic about this project of helping Dada write some of his autobiographical narratives for two reasons. The first is obvious- he has been close to me for my entire life, yet the period I've known him for is less than a third of his actual lifetime. There are so many stories of his life which I got to know only through this project. The second was that people like Dada have unique importance for us as Sindhis. He was in a sense our last connection to Sindh- where perhaps several generations of our ancestors may have lived before the partition. In that sense, he's our last link to that line of ancestors and their way of life, their aspirations and their difficulties.

Dada and I worked on this collaboratively just a few months before he passed away- mostly him narrating his stories in Sindhi or Hindi and I typing them down in English and later editing the document.

A few of his significant childhood memories, and some later ones, are on these pages. We wanted to complete a full autobiography, but his declining health didn’t allow for that.

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r o in m a re o ef b ts en m o M . es il All sm surgery- in October 2021.

of ve lo s hi ed ch at m e lif of ve lo is H .

Royal pictures. He insisted on getting this one clicked. From September 2020.

Dada took his last breath on 20th Jan 2022 at 2 pm. If heaven is real after death, I know where he would be now: with Amma, Indira di, and Papa, playing with his siblings and childhood friends, running around the mud houses, and swimming in the rivers and canals of pre-partition Sindh...

Neeraj Ramnani (His Grandson)

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Blessing his daughter and son-in-law: At the wedding of Indira and Shreechand Kimtani (1st May 1968)

Wedding Ceremony of his daughter Vidya (Kamal) with Suresh Masand (27th May 1972)

At his son Indrajit's wedding with Meena.

L to R: Ramdevi, Kishenchand, Indrajit, Meena, Nanikram, Chandra (12th Oct 1979)

At the wedding of his daughter Kanchan (Baby) with Shyam Rohira (1st Feb 1979)

Earliest Memories My earliest memories are of my parents. My dad was a headmaster at a school. He didn't talk much, except when he would teach us. He never once scolded his kids. My mom was even calmer and only pampered us. Even if we got a tiny ant bite she'd rush with oil and massage us as if it was some emergency. I had four brothers and three sisters (apart from other siblings who didn't survive beyond a year or so.)

We had a kaccha house made of mud - a single area divided into five mini homes for five brothers - my father and his four brothers and their families. Kitchens were separate.

We also had a big compound, shared by the five families.

On one corner of the compound was a shed- for our cows.

There were no toilets there - all the men would go outside for relieving themselves. The women would go to the terrace. After it all dried up, someone would collect the litter from the terrace. (People from western parts of India would come once a month or so to clean the homes there and take away the litter from the terrace.)

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Clockwise: Shreechand Kimtani (his son-inlaw), Indrajit Ramnani (his son), K.K. Ramnani, Suresh Masand (his son-in-law), Kanchan Rohira (his daugher), Pawan Kimtani (his grandson), Shyam Rohira (his son-in-law), and Anu Totlani (his granddaughter)

He had a passion for sports - especially Tennis, Cricket and Football.

In 2014, he would stay up to watch FIFA matches at 2 am. His favourite sportspersons were Martina Hingis, Steffi Graff and Roger Federer.

We only had one well in the village - the 25 Muslim and 9 Hindu families would use that for our water requirements.

Women had a corner shade where no men would gowhere they would shower. There was no roof but a wall of 6-7 feet for their privacy.

Men would take bath on the other side, it didn't have a shade or wall so we would shower in the open. We washed clothes in the same place where we bathed.

Only two or three inches of rain per year would fall in that area - but there was never a shortage of water due to the Sindhu river.

Apart from my parents, I was very close to my chacha's son, Narayana- whose father passed away at age 30. I was 8 or 9 years old when he took his last breath.

I remember how my chacha (his name was Menghomal) took his bath in the heat and came for a meal. With a piece of bread in his hand, he passed away, sitting at the khaat. I heard the screaming and ran to check what had happened.

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Bonded for life: With his wife in Delhi. They were together for over 60 years until Amma's passing in 2009.

With his daughters Vidya (Kamal) and Baby (Kanchan). They had a special bond and he looked forward to their phone calls every day between 5 and 6 pm.

A doctor was called for from Sakhar (Sukkur)- an MBBS (one of only two doctors there at the time). I remember how he came in an old car and declared my chacha dead.

This was the second of my chacha's- the five brothers (including my father) who lived together- to have died there. Naturally, his wife and kids continued living with us.

The other chacha I lost early was Keemat chacha, who passed away when I was too young - he passed away without any kids, leaving behind a widow just a year after his wedding.

Narayana and I would play many games near the canals, especially Gilli-danda. I would often swim in the small canals- across by around 20 or 30 feet.

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On one of the last family holidays for Papa & Dada, in 2019, at a resort near Ahmedabad.

L to R: Dr. IKR, Meena, Anya, Neeraj, Juhi and Kishenchand Ramnani.

Some of Dada's favourite songs were "Ye Zindagi Ke Mele" from the movie Mela (1948), and "Ik pyaar ka nagma hai" from the movie Shor (1972).

(Many years later, after my marriage, I did get a chance to swim at a big canal - at the Arian road (my sasuraal). The canal there was 30 feet wide and 9 feet deep. On one occasion, my brother-in-law's cousin came with me to the canal. I was wearing a robe that got stuck in something during the swim, and the cousin left my arm and I was carried away in the strong waves. He wasn't confident with his swimming, so he didn’t attempt to rescue me. Then some others came to look for me as the wave was strong. I struggled in the water and managed to come to one side and lay down tired. They found me some miles away. My mother-in-law told me never to ever go into the canal again, and I never did.)

Gulabrai was 10 months younger to me. I have been told that when Tarachand and his wife had him (Gulab was my nephew), Gulab's mom would sometimes feed me too. This was relatively common in those days. That's why I always counted Gulab as a brother, and my Bhabhi was like a mother to me - nay, she was sweeter to me than my own mom. She passed away at 27 during complications of delivering her fourth child. The child didn't survive either. Her husband never remarried.

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With Neeraj in around 1987-88.

He was very affectionate with kids.

A generation later: with Neeraj's daughter Anya, in 2020.

Development I remember the first time I saw a train. I was about ten years old. I felt so scared when I saw it, I thought the engine was some kind of a ghost approaching me. I used to call it “tarrain” as I didn’t speak English at that age. It was during this time that I saw pakka-buildings, good roads, hospitals and schools for the first time, during a visit to Sakhar with my father.

In my initial days at school, there was a Muslim boy who took me every day to school on his shoulder. He would do that daily for a month. After a month he held my finger and helped me walk to school. Such bonds were quite common between Hindus and Muslims in those days. (Even many years later, during some riots in Ahmedabad, a group of Hindus including myself helped a Muslim family reach safely and hide at a nearby hospital.)

I joined English school at 15 which was one kilometre away from our village. I would go walking. The roads were very dusty. In my school, the teachers were all Muslims, although most students were Hindus.

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All in the blood: L to R- Three generations of RamnanisKishenchand, his son Indrajit, and Indrajit's son Neeraj (2009)

mit: They With his grandson-in-law A orts to sp m o fr g in h yt er ev g in ss cu loved dis stocks to parenting.

ith his Selfie please: A warm moment w grandson-in-law Ashish.

Dada loved life and enjoyed staying fashionable. Even after his hip bone fracture just a few days before his death, he told his granddaughter Nisha about wanting 3 new kurtas.

We had excellent teachers. I always scored well in school.

Dada Shatrughan taught me the alphabet before school, so I had an advantage over the others.

When Baba (my father) was about to retire, I was at Sakhar and he also came there. I had gone on vacation with Shatrugan Dada during the school holidays. We were staying at Dev Samaj to teach Sat-exercise. It was free for all.

Baba took me from there to Kherpur where there was Pir jo ghot high school (in the village of Pir). The one who made the village was Pir Pagaroh, a famous personality there. (Pir is a title for Sufi saints or guides.) After retirement, Baba took me to meet him again. When we met he asked my name. I said “Kishan”, he replied with “oh, you're Kishan Bhagwan”. He took me in his lap and asked what I wanted to eat. I asked for mutton. He gave delicious Mutton Biryani like I've never had again.

Until then I could never have milk- I would immediately puke. But that day I was offered “kheer” and I gulped it down, and ever since I never had an issue digesting milk.

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4th Nov 2021. At his last Diwali, after an excision surgery on his head. This one was not the same for us without his son, Dr. IKR (his photo is in the background). L to R: Meena, Anya, Kishenchand, Chandra (Meena's mother), and Juhi.

He was very good with technology- adapting to new trends with age.

In his last years he got adept at using WhatsApp, Google voice and YouTube (to listen to Bhajans).

I went to Shikharpur to do my B.A. for four years. After the first year, I got married to Ramdevi. As was common in those days, we did not see each other until the marriage, as she was in “ghoonghat”. The first time I saw her face was 3 or 4 days after our wedding. In fact, unlike modern times, for the wedding night, we slept amid lots of guests on mattresses laid out in the common hall.

After the second year of college, I had three months off. I got an internship for two months - a temporary position as someone was going for a leave - at the railways. It was in Karachi. Then it turned out this guy extended his leave for three more months. So I got the position for five months. Meanwhile, partition talks were going on.

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With his great-granddaughter Anya- from 2021. Some of the highlights of his last two years were his moments with Anya.

d Arjun. an v ra A s id dk n ra -g at re g & n so With his r fo ve lo a em th e av g a ad D s, g in Among many th . es ri o st f o s n to em th ld to a ap P d Kabaddi, an

Enjoying a drink: Ramdevi, Kishenchand, and Nanki.

Dada was the one to introduce sports to his children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren like Arav and Arjun.

Partition When it was clear that the country was going to get divided, I was given a form with two choices to opt for India or Pakistan. This was essentially going to secure my job in the railways. I thought this is a good way to get an income during these times and I can ignore my studies. I chose India and met the high commissioner for a permit to travel by cargo ship to Mumbai.

Dada Shatrugan was working for RSS, and the police were after him in Karachi. He escaped, but his wife and daughter were there. We pretended that they were my wife and kids and got permission to travel with them to Mumbai, as my own wife wasn't coming due to her pregnancy. I was told in Mumbai that I'll be posted in Ajmer. The wife and daughter, Asha, were sent to Delhi.

My friend Virumal and I rented a house in Ajmer with two rooms - no kitchen or store.

Communication was not as easy as it is these days.

However, posts would always reach within one or two days from major hubs like Mumbai, Delhi, or Karachi.

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With two of his sons-in-law: Suresh Masand (to his right) and Shreechand Kimtani (to his left), in Delhi. He had a close bond with the spouses of each of his four children.

With his brothers-in-law, peers and relatives.

L to R (Front row): Kishenchand, Lilaram, Baxomal, Gulabrai, Tikamdas L to R (Back row): Manoherlal, Unknown, Harish Wadhwani

Dada always prioritized his family- especially kids. He could mix easily with any generation. Even in his 70s and 80s he played Badminton, Air Hockey, Chess, Carrom and other games with his grand-kids.

In one such happy post, I got a letter that I was now a father to a baby girl - Indira, and after a month I got to know my wife and daughter have left in a train car for India.

They were asked to get down at Nawabshah station between Sakhar and Karachi, all Hindus were asked to stop. One of the Hindus in their group managed to sneak into the train with all the luggage with him, and reached Karachi. Indira, who was a month old, had pneumonia due to the cold and lack of blankets. One of my cousins was a ved who treated her. My wife was hearing stories of how Hindus are being slaughtered during those riotous times. Fortunately, after three days, they were allowed to go to Karachi due to pressure from the Indian government. From there to Bombay via ship, where they stayed inside a school. And finally to a refugee camp near Nashik.

From the camp, I received another letter with the updates. I left for Ahmedabad from Ajmer, then Mumbai, and then to this refugee camp.

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orded c re e H i. n a tl o T u n A d an At the wedding of Sunil sking a s, g n so g in g n si , e n o h p a video in 2021 in Anu's ed away. ss a p d a h e h r e ft a ly n o her to share it

With Neha Kimtani and Anu Totlani during their visit in Feb 2021

With Pawan and Nidhi (Manju) Balwani, and his son Dr. Indrajit Ramnani, outside the Ankur residence in Ahmedabad.

Eventually, after a lot of chaos, I managed to reach the huge camp and searched for them- someone asked whom I was looking for and I said, “Satram Das master” (Gulabrai's father-in-law, Nanki's dad) who was in the group. Through that, I found them in the abandoned army barracks that had been converted into the camp.

When I first saw Indira, I had tears in my eyes, and my family felt very relieved. Satram Dada, Nanki (Gulabrai was already in Delhi), and Vasudev (who was about ten years old) had joined her. We came to Ajmer soon afterwards.

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Ties of Warmth: Celebrating Rakhi with his sister Sugni (Dhanwati). He always looked forward to this day.

Meeting another great-grandchild.

L to R: Mohit, Evaan, Kishenchand, and Bhavikaat the Masands' Shree Krishna Tower residence

Hugs & Warmth: with Neha Masand at his Ankur residence

Quitting Cigarettes I started smoking cigarettes in Ajmer (where my other 3 kids were born) at my job - some colleagues offered it to me. I would smoke two to three cigarettes a day, sometimes all ten in a packet. I continued smoking till 1992, around when Indira passed away. My son Inder often told me to quit - and so I never smoked inside the house.

At Vijaynagar, our home in Ahmedabad from about 1984 to 1990, one retired Ved had become friendly with me.

He'd share cigarettes with me. We continued meeting outside a nearby Bank of India branch even after we moved to Ankur. Later, I started having vertigo after smoking, this happened regularly. I felt so uncomfortable by the experience that I crushed all the cigarette packets I owned under my feet. I never bought it again but would smoke occasionally with friends. I reduced the duration of smoking too - just two puffs. Eventually, friends stopped offering me, as I would get headaches with them.

I finally quit completely in 1992. I never had a craving for it. I always thought that there's something wrong when I smoke and that I'll fall with a stroke or heart attack or something if I have it.

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At his nephew Dr. Moti's engagement function (1978)

Attending the wedding of his nephew Harish Wadhwani

At Anshul & Varsha's wedding, with his daughter Kanchan Rohira and her family. Anshul was the last of Dada's grandchildren to get married, and fortunately, both Dada & Papa could be a part of the celebration.(April 2018)

Faith As kids, we used to go to a Tikana for worship. There was a small stream nearby. We used to go to bathe there sometimes, and then go for matha-tekna. We were motivated to go mainly excited for the kanna prasaad, more than for a sense of worship.

Later in life, I often used to listen to “Ik Omkar” at Ajmer in the Gurudwara, it used to give me peace. Ever since then I often recited it.

In 1969, I was promoted (after Indira's wedding) and transferred to Udhna near Surat. I didn't want to go there due to the threat of floods and as it would displace my family. So, I took two months off work. After just fifteen days, the officer from there sent a notice that said I had been relieved from Sabarmati depot and had been asked to move permanently to Udhna.

Someone suggested I go to Mumbai and meet a certain influential person who will keep me in Sabarmati, or transfer me to Mumbai. When I was introduced to this -

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drajit at In n so d an a h is N r te h g au d d n ra With his g Nisha, to se o cl y rl la cu ti ar p as w e H . an Uttaray and she to him.

the 1 2 0 2 ch ar M in ia n So r te h g au d With his grand gs in ss le b 's ru u G e h T . y ll ca si y h p last time they met in the background.

Dada loved reading books. Even at the age of 90, he would finish a book cover to cover within two days. His favourite genres were crimethrillers and spy novels. He enjoyed reading Ian Fleming's James Bond series, and the Perry Mason series by Erle Stanley Gardner.

person, I made the request to him. He asked if I will move to Mumbai. I told him my preference for Sabarmati. He said, “Not now, but you will move to Mumbai.” Eventually, I did go there and joined him in Mumbai. When I asked about my posting, I was told that I have to work in Lower Parel. I said I'd like to work at Mahalakshmi, as I was living in Mulund with my brother Sunderdas, and the timings suited me better for Mahalakshmi.

When I would go to Lower Parel, I'd just smoke cigarettes and have tea and have nothing to do - unlike Sabarmati. The officers gave me permission to go to Sabarmati every Friday on duty - paid by railways which helped me meet my family on weekends. On the way from Mulund via local train, I saw a gurudwara and went in. I prayed to the Almighty, “my kids are alone at Sabarmati, please do something. I am very pareshaan.”

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ir e th g n ri u d i h Ju to g n si o p ro p All smiles: Neeraj e th in ly g in ir m d a n o s k o Roka as Dada lo background. (May 2015)

Pampering his grandkids Sonia, Nisha and Neeraj (1988)

The very next day the in-charge at Mahalakshmi, who knew me well, came for a visit along with his assistant.

He asked if I was happy over there. I said, “As far as work is concerned, I'm just idle. But....” I paused and he asked, “What ‘but’...”. I said, “But I didn't want to be in Mumbai.”

He asked me to meet him the next morning at 9:30 am. I was there at 9. He just said, “I remember what you have said, and will talk to the seniors at church gate”. In three days I got a notice that I am posted at Sabarmati against some existing vacancy. My faith in God increased a lot from this experience.

-----Note from Neeraj: We could not complete Dada's life narrative beyond this. If we would have continued, I am sure he would have shared stories about his wife, son and daughters, sons and daughter-in-law, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, retirement and life after retirement, and about the loss of his wife and two of his children. He lived a wholesome life even after retirement, continued taking good care of himself and was at peace in his world.

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With his great-grandkids Saurav & Ritika.

With his brother's family from Mulund, Mumbai L to R: Rekha, Nikita, Kishenchand and Renu

With Kishore (Sonu) & Ragini (Deepika) Masand, during one of their visits from Canada.

Ten Rules of Life Dada once narrated some principles by which he found happiness. They’re recorded below.

1) Have the attitude of “live and let live”.

2) Forgive and Forget.

3) Respect others' opinions. Especially that of youngsters, as you grow old. Allow them to learn from their experience.

4) Become financially independent before retirement.

5) Have people around who express their care for you.

6) Don't react immediately if you are hurt. Learn to swallow your hurt. Tell the other person at a more opportune time.

7) Reduce your personal needs and expectations.

8) Keep yourself busy with some activity or hobby.

9) Say “Thank you” to people who do anything for you...

Even when it isn't necessary to say it.

10) To keep yourself happy and others happy- find and appreciate the good in them, ignoring the bad, as nobody is perfect.

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From a holiday in 2018.

Clockwise: Amit, Kishenchand, Indrajit, Meena, Sonia, Deepa, Arushi, Arjun, Nisha, Anushka

Celebrations! Top: Anshul & Varsha's wedding.

Bottom: Mohit & Bhavika (Palak)'s pre-wedding party.

Memories

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