4FATHERS JOURNAL

www.welcometomarlons.com | @4fathersjournal

Welcome 4FATHERS is a digital photo journal that features fathers from diverse backgrounds. It shares the experiences of stay-at-home dads, fathers living abroad, and those who have little to no physical contact.

Through these stories, readers can gain insight into unique fatherhood journeys and understand that parenting can take many forms. The journal aims to celebrate fatherhood and provide a platform for fathers to share their struggles, joys, and lessons learned.

www.welcometomarlons.com

04 Editorial

06 My father, manhood and masculinity

09 Visual Arts

17 Style

19 A day in the life of the Montgomery’s

28 Literature

Content From navigating the joys and tribulations of fatherhood to juggling work-life balance. Filled with captivating photos, stories, and more…

30 Father Figure

35 The Military Dad

37 Craftsman

39 Geoffrey Holder

* This journal is dedicated, in respect and

admiration, to the spirit of Valance Cole, Dustin Yeates, Lucy Yeates… – Asé

40 Humility

42 The East

Editorial

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he transition from boy to man is only the beginning in developing into a role as a father. Being a father doesn’t come with a manual; it isn’t about whether a child shares your DNA or last name. You learn how to with each passing day. You begin to look at your child and become more of a father, parent and protector from all that is wrong. I realized it was up to me to accept my new responsibilities and to continue to grow and develop wisdom. Still, even with a better understanding of my priorities I was left feeling unsatisfied and confused due to the constant denial that I didn’t have to think about my needs. I realized if I couldn’t find ways to make myself happy, I couldn’t expect others to.

4FATHERS Journal is a print and digital publication for and about fathers. It uses a traditional approach with its usage of photographs and words.

In twenty-ten I released the first issue of 4FATHERS Journal. Each issue featured a selection of fathers with amazing stories, who do amazing things as parents. With its unique mix of interviews and photo essays, 4FATHERS goal of giving today’s father a voice through its publication was achieved. www.welcometomarlons.com @welcometomarlons | @4fathersjournal

4FATHERS main purpose is to showcase and establish the memorable and challenging journey necessary in the development of the relationship between father and child. This is for my father, who I don’t know; it is for my father’s father, my mother’s father, and for those men who take on the responsibility of raising a child who is not biologically theirs. To highlight the journey I have gone and am still going through as a man and as a father to my son. It is a project I want to share with other fathers who have experienced this journey.

I want to reach the man that forgets that being a father doesn’t happen overnight, it’s something you gradually grow accustomed to as your child’s laugh becomes more pronounced and as you begin to see more of you in them. This is the reminder that you learn how to be a father each day you wake and breathe life.

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Ian Kamau My father, manhood and masculinity

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www.iankamau.com

Ian Kamau is a Canadian Hip Hop and Spoken Word Artist, Writer and Visual Artist from Toronto, Ontario.

woke up this morning thinking predominantly of the impact that my father has had on my life. The older I get the more I realize how much my father has affected every aspect of my life, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions and even my expectations of myself and others. I make subconscious and conscious reference to my father (and mother) every day of my life in one-way or another.

I have a picture of my father helping me to tie my shoes when I was around seven or eight years old. To me the picture expresses a reality of my father in my life, a care, sensitivity and humility that is not often associated with the stereotype of ‘manhood’ in many of our cultures, but is still essential to being a whole human being. Maybe this sensitivity and humility isn’t the best thing to express during wartime, and although I think many of the stereotypes around manhood are related to conflict, power, ego and domination, I don’t think most humans aspire to be in a state of perpetual warfare and I don’t think most people who identify as men want to live this way either.

My father is both caring and strong, sensitive and powerful, intelligent and emotional, determined and vulnerable so I never saw a contradiction in a man being both

sensitive and powerful at the same time, both nurturing and strong; it’s the same way I view my mother and myself for that matter. I view my father as a whole human being, or at least as someone who aspired to be as whole as possible. I’m not at all saying that my father was or is perfect I’m just saying that he tried and was brave enough to manifest a positive relationship with his son regardless of a strained relationship with his own father.

The skewed idea of masculinity as created and perpetuated by an often violent and patriarchal society, is held up by both men who probably birthed it out of ego and an attempt to hold power but is also held up by many women who have been subjected to it.

What women find attractive, what they will accept, what they expect, what they teach and what they care about also leads to men

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into being the way they are in society even if women’s attitudes towards men stem from the same patriarchy that would leave them at a disadvantage in societies around the globe.

I say all this to talk about my father again. I learned from my father, he like many other fathers around the world is our first and most consistent example of manhood, as our mothers are often our first and most consistent example of womanhood. We model our relationships after the relationships we see. So it’s not surprising that many people who have witnessed strong and healthy relationships have an easier time creating strong healthy relationships in their own lives and making the choices that will lead to better relationships.

When I say strong relationships I’m not making any correlation between strength and time mind you, I believe my parents had a strong relationship, but they split after eighteen years.

Those of us that have insecurities and

fears in our relationships make choices that can mirror those insecurities and choices that lead us to mirror the relationships that we have seen. And of course there are many people who

a group of guys about my age sitting together talking loudly and doing what most teenaged boys do when they are together; posturing and attempting to assert their manhood. My father and

never had a positive relationship to reflect because a parent was completely absent.

I were heading separate ways so he embraced me and kissed me on my forehead. I remember at sixteen feeling so embarrassed that my father showed his affection for me in this way in front of a group of my perceived peers.

I believe that the love relationship and partnership is the basis of society, because out of that relationship come children that create a family, the family creates the community and the community creates the society. If the foundation of a house is not strong, the house is not strong so as someone who is interested in community I’ve always wanted a strong relationship.

Just like Muslim people believe that the marriage is half of their Islam, I believe that my relationships should attempt to mirror my view of society.

I however have never lived that reality.

Once when I was about sixteen years old I was on the train with my father coming from somewhere, there were

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I look back on that moment now and I’m thankful that I had a gentle and loving father that taught me that a man does not need to live up to the stereotype of masculinity despite what society asks us to portray. My father never really taught me this in words, he taught me this in actions. I’m happy that I could be an artist who didn’t care about sports or cars and that be okay.

I’m happy that my father was able to show me the complexity of what it is to be a man.

Visual Arts Visual arts play a crucial role in our world, capturing the beauty and essence of life through various mediums. From paintings to sculptures, photography to digital art, the visual arts allow us to express ourselves, communicate our thoughts and emotions, and create lasting memories.

Through visual arts, we can preserve the beauty of our surroundings and the people we hold dear.

Another way visual arts can be influential is through journaling.

Journaling combines writing and art to create a unique and personal expression. It allows individuals to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, and experiences through a visual medium.

By incorporating drawings, collages, and other visual elements, journaling becomes a creative outlet that not only captures memories but also serves as a form of therapy.

Visual arts can also have a profound impact on the relationship between fathers and children. Creating art together can be a bonding experience, fostering communication, and understanding. Whether it's painting, drawing, or even building sculptures, art allows fathers and children to connect, express themselves, and explore their creativity in a fun and interactive way. It provides an opportunity for fathers to share their passions and interests with their children, creating lasting memories and strengthening their relationship.

In conclusion, visual arts hold tremendous importance in our world.

They allow us to capture moments, express ourselves, and connect with others. Whether it's through photography, journaling, or creating art with loved ones, the visual arts bring joy, inspiration, and a sense of fulfillment. So next time you pick up a paintbrush or a camera, remember the power that visual arts hold and the impact they can have on our lives.

JORDAN CASTEEL Jordan Casteel (b. 1989, Denver, CO) received her BA from Agnes Scott College, Decatur, GA for Studio Art (2011) and her MFA in Painting and Printmaking from Yale School of Art, New Haven, CT (2014). In 2020, Casteel presented a solo exhibition titled Within Reach at the New Museum, New York, in conjunction with a fully illustrated catalogue published by the institution. www.jordancasteel.com

BARBERSHOP

signed and dated 2015 on the reverse oil on canvas 72 by 54 in. 182.9 by 137.2 cm.

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TTK Chillin’ With Nova This painting was inspired by a photograph of my daughter and I taken in December 2008 in Florida. It was the first time I saw her in months and I wanted to capture the moment. It’s not the traditional father and daughter portrait, but it’s a moment in time that meant a lot to both of us. www.gottkgo.com

Pictures My Dad Took Robert D. Cave Sr. (1949 – 1998) was a professional photographer who documented the culture, politics, communities and people of New York City, mostly Brooklyn, for over 30 years.

Recently I unearthed his life’s work from my aunt’s basement and began scanning, cataloging and retouching them in hopes of preserving both his legacy and the rich spirit and history of New York.

Spec Boogie

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Yung Father III Artist, Barry Duperon’s work exhibits the subject matter of urban culture through the observation of everyday life. Visually his work showcases the tribal mask of different meanings from different regions of Africa with a fusion of "African American" influence. Each piece has a story behind it and gives a visual documentation on what's being highlighted. www.frankb.bigcartel.com @barryduperon

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Choosing Fatherhood Choosing Fatherhood: America’s Second Chance is meant to explore this issue as no previous book has. And it does so through the art of photography, in which Lewis Kostiner makes portraits of dads who are involved in their childrens’ lives. The book is also accompanied by informative essays

by Juan Williams, of Fox News; David Travis, who was Curator of Photography at the Art Institute of Chicago from 1975–2008; Shipra S. Parikh, a licensed clinical social worker who also teaches and conducts research at the University of Chicago and Loyola University in Chicago; Roland C. Warren, the former president of the National Fatherhood Initiative, a nonprofit organization dedicated to enhancing fatherhood in America, who also served on President Obama’s task force on responsible fatherhood; and Derrick M. Bryan, a sociologist at the Morehouse College.

Photographer: Lewis Kostiner | www.lewiskostiner.com

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A small piece of my father Father: Joseph Covington Raleigh NC Photographer: Mark A Covington / @kram71

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Sydia & Danny Bell remember the day an ordinary dad became a superhero.

What is your favorite family story? The one you know by heart. The one you never get tired of hearing.

Sydia Bell knows without question the story she’d choose.

It happened during a driving lesson in Queens, New York. And she brought her dad, Danny, to StoryCorps to tell it.

Listen www.gpb.org/blogs/storycorps/2023/02/14/storycorps-atlantabell-family-story

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Casely-Hayford A fashion brand that launched in 2009, founded by Joe Casely-Hayford and his son Charlie Casely-Hayford. A label for both men and women. In October 2018, the father-and-son duo opened their first standalone store on London’s Chilte rn Stre e t. The store offe rs bespoke tailoring as well as readyto-wear. Since Joe Casely-Hayford's passing in 2019, the brand is solely run

by Charlie.

The father-son design-duo aim to revolutionize men's fashion with their contemporary and avant-garde approach. Constantly pushing the boundaries of traditional menswear, their designs prioritize originality and nonconformity. These creators focus on innovation, staying ahead of the curve in each collection, and breaking norms with a fresh perspective.

Style

Their vision for menswear is a fusion of tradition and modernity, marrying traditional silhouettes with cuttingedge fabrics and construction. With an unwavering commitment to progress and experimentation.

As a contemporary designer Charlie Casely-Hayford embraces the nonconformity in the brands innovative approach to men's fashion.

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oe and Charlie Casely-Hayford are the fatherson duo responsible for the London-based label’s boundary-breaking menswear. Casely-Hayford’s design manifesto calls for a sartorial anarchy, of sorts: the designers strive for innovation and anticonformity in their thoroughly modern menswear, while hitting the mark for exquisite British tailoring.

Creative Review, and the White Cube gallery, Hoxton, in addition to apprenticing at his father’s studio. In 2008, Joe and Charlie joined forces to form the house of Casely-Hayford.

Sharing the same Gemini Birthday, Joe and Charlie joined forces in 2008 to develop the unique ‘father & son’ design partnership, with the aim of making a new Joe brings decades of design experience to the Casely- style statement based on English sartorialism and Hayford label: he’s crafted costumes for the likes of British anarchy. The first collection launched in the U2 and the Clash, served as Creative Director of Savile Spring/Summer 2009 season.

Row’ mainstay Grieves & Hawkes, and was named an Officer of the Order of the British Empire by the Queen Portrait: Ben Weller for his services to the fashion industry. 25-year-old www.casely-hayford.com Charlie’s already left his own imprint on the creative scene, having spent time at Central St. Martin’s, i-D,

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Weekends A day in the life of the Montgomery’s

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hotographer Sara Forrest was commissioned to capture a fun-filled day in the life of the Montgomery's, a vibrant family residing in the bustling borough of Brooklyn. With her camera in hand, Sara embarked on an exciting adventure, ready to document the joy, laughter, and cherished moments that make up the Montgomery's unique family dynamic. www.saraforrestphoto.com

Kenneth J. Montgomery Attorney

A natural trial attorney, Montgomery honed his advocacy and courtroom skills while serving as an assistant district attorney in the Gang/Rackets Bureau of the Brooklyn District Attorney’s Office from 1997-2002. After resigning from the District Attorney’s office, Mr. Montgomery started Kenneth J. Montgomery PLLC.

He also began his tenure as adjunct professor of law at Fordham University School of Law, where he currently teaches Trial Advocacy. www.kjmontgomerylaw.com

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TV newsman Teague (Live and OffColor; Letters to a Black Boy) uses the device of letters to his son to express positive and provocative thoughts on the "imperatives that come with being black." Blaming white society for all the ills in black society is, in Teague's view, counterproductive even self-defeating. In support of that argument, he cites the example of immigrants and refugees who become readily assimilated in the mainstream of competitive America despite a variety of handicaps. Interspersing

anecdotes of his personal experience with accounts of bias and hostility he has encountered in his professional life, he underscores the verities of stable family life, describing them as essential for release from the welfare syndrome. As he addresses his son, who is on the brink of his own media career, Teague speaks also to today's young black Americans, offering them challenges he believes they are ready to accept.

Literature

Bob Teague, brilliant journalist and a wise man who understands himself that his book, Letters to a Black Boy is really a message to all white men.

Teague has performed transplant surgery in which the reader takes on the heart and mind of a black man.

Furqan's First Flat Top

by Robert Catalino Trujillo Furqan Moreno wakes up and decides that today he wants his hair cut for the first time. His dad has just the style: a flat top fade! He wants his new haircut to be cool but when they get to the barbershop, he’s a bit nervous about his decision. He begins to worry that his hair will look funny, imagining all the flat objects in his day-to-day life. Before he knows it, his haircut is done and he realizes that his dad was right – Furqan's first flat top is the freshest!

You can check out more on Robert Trujillo’s first self-published short story turned children’s book at, www.work.robdontstop.com

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Father Figure Exploring Alternate Notions of Black Fatherhood

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lack father absence is a contentiously-debated social issue in the US and other countries. Too many Black men, so the argument goes, are missing, irresponsible, selfish, not stepping up to the plate. Visuals of deadbeat, absentee Black fathers abound in mainstream media, often intended to sensationalize and ridicule rather than to raise awareness. www.zunlee.com

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Mars - A mighty warrior who is courageous and can endure all things.

Mars, also known as Ogun is a warrior and a powerful spirit of metalwork.

Mars/Ogun is the god of discipline, iron, and war of the Yoruba people of West Africa. The energy of Mars can be likened to Hercules, Ogun, and just about any deity of warfare and technological advancement.

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Sergeant First Class, Jason Jacob Henry What are some challenges of being a father while serving in the military?

Some challenges of being a father that I personally experienced are being unable to see your kids grow up in their first two years while being deployed, missing the birthdays and all the special days for the kids and the wife, being unable to help my wife with the kids while deployed, having your kids shy of you during the first time of meeting after a year of absence.

Photography: Chris Bergstrom

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Captain, Rahsul J. Freeman

What are some challenges of being a father while serving in the military?

The biggest challenge is extended deployments and missing significant developmental milestones in my son’s life, for example, I have missed two of his three birthdays, his first tooth and first step.

How do you deal with those challenges?

Prayer.

Photography: Chris Bergstrom

Master-At-Arms First Class, Patrick M. McKayv

Do you have a unique story you’d like to share with our readers?

When my second son was five months old I deployed.

I transferred off the ship and returned home five months later when I got home, my oldest ran up and gave me a big hug, my now 10 month old “jumped” out of my wife’s arms to get to me, So I was literally gone for half of his life and he still knew who I was it was like I never left. It was awesome, I cried like a baby.

Photography: Chris Bergstrom

Craftsman Damien Holbert

Being a father means...

My relationship with my father...

being blessed. I told myself that it would be planned but that wasn’t the case. When it happened I got the traditional call (via-pay phone) “I’M PREGNANT.” I pulled myself together a few days later and started planning on taking care of my end of the birth.

was good. We didn’t stay in the same house though, so it was a weekend/holiday thing. He stayed busy and always had paper and a weekly BBQ / Domino set. When it was time for us to start earning our own, he’ll let us borrow his lawn mower and edger to hit the hood for lawns. He past from a so called heart attack, but my family thinks he was murdered by his wife... R.I.P. CHARLES EMMIT HOLBERT.

I teach my daughter... first to respect her elders, second to respect herself, third all the knowledge I can give her. She knows how to draw, sing, dance and put together her outfits.

I taught her how to tell the little boy’s at daycare “BACK UP BOZO” and she did it on site. I told her teacher that she complained about another kid being up in her space.

– Damien, who works as a carpenter and draftsmen, decided to try his hand at entrepreneurship in Las Vegas. Alongside his brother, he opened a trendy fashion retail store called Boro 15. However, after some time, Damien felt the pull of New York City and decided to leave Las Vegas behind. Eventually, he found his way back to Las Vegas, this time with his family in tow. www.coroflot.com/damienholbert | Photo: Adrian Miles

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James Pearson-Howes’ current project, titled "Young Fathers", showcases the lives of young men in the inner city of London, who have made the transition from being boys to becoming fathers. He captures them using documentary/portrait style of photography. Here we meet Kyal and his son. www.jamespearsonhowes.com

Geoffrey Holder, Artist, Actor, Dancer, Choreographer, Two-Time Tony Award-winning Director and Costume Designer for The Wiz, Dies at 84; Son Pens Intimate Account of Last Days.

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e offre y Holde r, the Tony Award-winning Trinidadian director, actor, costume designer, painter, dancer, author, graphic designer, photographer and choreographer, died from complications of pneumonia at Mount Sinai St. Luke’s Hospital in New York at the age of 84 on Sunday, October 5, 2014.

Geoffrey Lamont Holder was born in Port-of-Spain, Trinidad and Tobago, on August 1, 1930, one of four children of Louise de Frense and Arthur Holder, who had immigrated from Barbados.

He attended Queen’s Royal College, an elite secondary school in Trinidad.

Under the tutelage of his older brother, Boscoe, Holder learned painting and began dancing as a member of the Holder Dance Company when he was seven years old.

Ray Bolger, the original Scarecrow in the 1939 MGM musical The Wizard of Oz. Holder made history as the first African American man to be nominated in either category. He also received the Drama Desk Award for Outstanding Costume Design.

During a career that spanned seven decades, Holder is best known for leading the groundbreaking show The Wiz, the all-African American retelling of The Wizard of Oz to Broadway, and garnering Tony Awards for Best Costume Design and Best Director in 1975, presented to him by

At a towering 6’6” and with his Trinidadian basso and hearty laugh, Holder was a popular presence on TV as a spokesman…

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Continue: www.liachang.wordpress.com

Artwork: www.stellaphipps.com

A Child Teaches Humility

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y name is Asen James. I’m a Father, Musician, Entrepreneur, DJ and Visual Designer. I’m just trying to capture an honest moment, with my music, and other things I’m working on. I think sincerity in expression isn’t visible. Not that it’s not out there, but people don’t have venues to access it. Right now I’m primarily trying to convey this from a musical standpoint.

intangible things. For me, I hear Marvin wrestling with this situation with his wife in a way that is not a cartoon of emotion. That’s missing in a lot of today’s music.

Young people today don’t receive a lot of honest creative expression, because a lot of what is out there, is driven by profit. For example, Here, My Dear

by Marvin Gaye, which you and I were just talking about, there are a lot of moving moments in there,

In life how did you learn most things?

At fourteen what was your state of mind?

Getting some gold fronts, some fly kicks, thinking about being a world famous painter.

Initially my experiences came from television and occasional things I read. My world view was very limited. MTV, had a big influence on me growing up though. That’s when it was 95% music.

Where were you when your daughter was born?

I was at the Business Library in MidManhattan, I got the call that my daughters mother just gave birth to her, I packed up my things and ran from the thirties all the way to fourteenth street. When I got to the birthing center, I saw this beautiful little baby girl.

That afternoon I slept with her on my chest;

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Artwork: www.stellaphipps.com

it was the most peaceful sleep I ever had in my life.

It was amazing, I felt so connected with her.

What were your feelings when you heard your going to be a father?

really means. She and I have always had a dialogue and I would always share with her that information equals options, the more info you have the more directions you can go.

Am I going to take care of my daughter, I was completely shocked, but I am extremely happy and feel blessed, cause I would have been a different person, and I don’t think I would have liked the person that I would have become if my daughter had not come into my life when she did.

Is it difficult to communicate with your teenage daughter?

What kind of emotions came over you as a first time father?

What would you like your daughter to know?

We use to go on these walks and I remember just falling deeply in love with her, my daughter.

I always try to express stuff with her as clearly as I understand it, but now for the most part I do a lot of listening since she’s 14 now. We are both Leos, we’ve always been good friends, we communicate well.

I want my daughter to be proud of me, but most importantly I want her to be proud of herself. www.linktr.ee/aaliance

How do you teach your daughter?

Right now the situation with my daughter isn’t the way I want it to be, I don’t get to see her as much as I want to, she lives upstate. But when she was younger, I would pick her up from school everyday. We would walk and talk on our way to the library to do her homework together.

An example of me teaching her, is for instance; Halloween, I’m not into all of that stuff, but I know as a child she gravitates towards the celebration and I know what it is to be a child in this society. But what we would do is find a few books on Halloween at the library and we would find out the history and what it

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THE EAST

Jitu Weusi A preservationist of African and AfricanAmerican culture, Jitu Weusi, along with community backers, started the EAST, a cultural organization in Brooklyn for people of African descent. The EAST jazz venue hosted luminous musicians such as Sonny Rollins, Pharoah Saunders, Betty Carter, and Leon Thomas.

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Malika Iman and Adeyemi Bandele at The East on Claver Place. | Photo via Creativetimereports

Jitu Weusi was one of the great, unsung activists, an organizer, educator, and thinker that came out of our movement in the 1960s.

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orn in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, Jitu Weusi (19392013) formerly known as, Leslie R. Campbell, began his career in education with the New York City Department of Education.

Jitu Weusi was a founding member of the African-American Teachers Association (ATA) and notably known for his involvement in the Ocean Hill Brownsville conflict that proved to be instrumental in bringing about changes nationwide in community control of public education. In the late 60s, Jitu Weusi left the department of

education and opened Uhuru Sasa Shule (Freedom Now School), the first Black, independent, private school in New York City for inner-city youth.

The school was one of the founding member schools of the Council of Independent Black Institutions (CIBI), an international umbrella organization for independent schools that advocate Afrikan-centered education.

Jitu Weusi returned to the NYC Department of Education in 1985 and served with many school districts for three decades of service. He retired in October 2006.

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Jitu Weusi is often referred to as “a mountain of a man” not only because of his stature, but for his fortitude as well. Father, husband, community leader—his name and the memory of his selfless actions for the benefit of his community will live on at Weusi Plaza in the Borough of Brooklyn, in New York City.

COVER The Essence halftone print 8 x 11 in.

Cover art inspired from photo of my father Valance Cole.

My father has returend to the essence. I thank him for his work here on earth.

Obituary Valance "Liberty" Cole 6/6/1946 – 10/7/2019 Son of Muriel and Basil, born in Guyana "Land of Many Waters". Valance Cole is survived in legacy by his children, Michael Cole, Julian Cole, Keith Cole, Natalie Cole, Marlon Cole, Paris Cole and Sheena Cole; his grandchildren, Alijah and Mamello, his sisters, his brothers; and a host of loving in-laws, nieces and nephews, cousins and longtime friends from around the world.

As a very young man Valance learned to work hard and to take on whatever job was available to support his family and then himself. Valance worked on ships as a dock worker, he also was a seamster, taxi driver, street vendor and farmed, if necessary.

Valance was an early entrepreneur and ran several “small businesses”.

In 1977, he moved to New York City for a better life where he met back up with longtime girlfriend and later on wife, Marcia. They moved into together. The early times were difficult financially; Valance and Marcia made many tough choices in those days, while they made a home for their two children, Natalie and Marlon.

A man with a simple smile that made everyone around him feel at peace. As strong as an ox with the heart of a lion; passionate and brave. Valance Cole was open to learning and sharing his skills with family and friends, using his experiences as a learning lesson.

Valance Cole's freedom was taken away in 1985 due to wrongful conviction. He was given a 12-25 year prisonsentence. When his prison term ended in 2013, he was handed over to federal custody, where he was then deported back to Guyana without having the chance to be exonerated for the wrongful conviction by the state of New York.

Valance fought the conviction all along and said his main motivation was to spend time with his grandchildren.

Valance Cole will be fondly remembered by family and friends as a loving father, brother, uncle, distinguished businessman, educator, and protector.

Learn more about Valance Cole's wrongful conviction here, www.nymag.com/intelligencer/2013/11/prison-for-25years-man-says-nypd-set-him-up.html

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How Do I Co-Parent When My Child Lives in Another State? » Send letters, postcards, and care packages!

Now that you’ve gone through the legal process of modifying your custody order to accommodate a parent’s relocation, you face the daunting task of long-distance co-parenting. It’s hard enough to co-parent when your ex lives down the road or in the next town over.

How do you co-parent when your ex lives hours or states away from you?

Regardless of whether you’re the parent relocating or the parent who is left behind, know that it is possible to successfully co-parent in a long-distance situation to the benefit of your children.

Here, we explore some care package ideas to help you transition smoothly into longdistance co-parenting.

Are you unable to see your child during the school year or during the week?

There are many ways to let your children know that, even though you’re not physically nearby, you’re still very interested in their lives.

SEND A CARE PACKAGE

Care Package

You know it’s true: everyone loves getting a package in the mail, especially kids. And packages are even more exciting when you send them for no particular reason (as in, it’s not their birthday or a holiday).

Long-distance parents can still effectively co-parent and stay involved in their kids’ lives by taking advantage of technology and maintaining regular contact.

It won’t always be easy. But when Every once in a while, send a package both parents put forth the additional to your children with a few things effort, their children are the ones they would enjoy or that might cheer who benefit. Aim for your children them up. to maintain or even strengthen the great parent-child relationships they Want to send a themed care package? had prior to your relocation.

Search online for ideas. Sites like Pinterest can be a rich source of inspiration and don’t forget about a card in the mail every once in a while.

Sending a simple card by regular mail can let your children know you’re thinking about them even though you’re not there.

Copyright © 2023 by Marlon Cole All rights reserved. www.welcometomarlons.com