LifeWise In relationships, know what each other’s needs are so you can try and meet them. Accept there will be differences based on your different upbringings, values, beliefs and personality types. Practice tolerance and understanding. Communicate at all times, ideally in an assertive rather than an aggressive manner, stating your feelings and needs respectfully to the other. Try not to push each other’s buttons and most definitely use Time Out as a tool so that you avoid arguments or fights. If you don’t want something done to you, then don’t do it to the other person. Learn the art of letting go, resolving conflict, making up and doing loving things together again. Be aware if you have got into a negative mindset with your partner. Change it to be positive by appreciating your partner and think of the good things. If you have to deal with someone else who is angry, call time out to allow them to calm down, but if this is not possible, just realise they are probably having a bad day and are letting off steam. Don’t take it personally and when they have said all they needed to, you can say what you need to. Sometimes you may need to put something in writing or involve some other person eg HR, if this happens in the workplace. In conclusion, anger mis-used can cause a lot of problems. Practice the ideas suggested for good anger management and prevent damage. Anger will land up hurting you the most and is a notorious contributor to coronary heart disease and other health problems. Be relaxed. Be happy. For further information, private courses, workshops and talks, contact Shelton Kartun, Director and Founder of The Anger & Stress Management Centre of SA on (021) 554 3661 or email info@anger.co.za. Please state where you live as this helps us with your enquiry. Our website is www.anger.co.za.
Defuse your anger! Try the simple meditation breathing technique on page 17 to calm down when anger starts to kick in. Deep breathing is perhaps the most easiest way of controlling one's anger. Repeat the exercise until anger fades away.
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