Stop worrying about the crumbs in the Icing

BY LOU DUGGAN

When you launch a DIY Cake Kit company, that combines everything someone needs to pour their love into a home-made cake, delivers it to their door, and offers 400+ designs to suit even the most imaginative child’s whims, you naturally assume it will be an overnight success. Well, you’d be wrong!

Sales growth at Cake 2 The Rescue was hard fought in the early days.

I did everything I could to get us out there, but it just didn’t seem to convert to increased sales. It wasn’t until I formed our gorgeous cake kit community Facebook group that I realised what was truly holding parents back from taking the leap of faith to make a homemade cake.

Having kids, loving them so hard and wanting the best for them, can leave us terrified that we’re not enough. Add to that the perfect parenting images flooding our Instagram feeds, and “poof”, there goes what’s left of our self-esteem.

So when it comes to deciding to make the birthday cake, it can feel like there are only two choices. One, have a go myself, fail, let my child down and look like an idiot in front of everyone on the socials. Errrrm, no thank you. Two, play it safe and shell out a heap of cash for someone else to make it. Yep, here’s my credit card!

Knowing that, like me, most parents dream of making homemade cakes for their kids, I realised that I owed it to parents to find a way to support their emotional journey, not just the practical one to change their mind.

Celebrating imperfection

Have you been in a Facebook cake group? The ones with heaps of cake decorating professionals disguised as “hobby bakers”? They post 3D masterpieces, intimidating the hell out of any poor home baker that recently joined. Not to mention the passive aggressive comments and sniggering when someone posts a cake that’s not quite on par or asks a basic decorating question!

Not only do we battle our own fears of not being good enough to make a cake, we also have to brave the new toxic culture of faceless women tearing other women down on social media.

in our Cake Kit group, nine times out of 10 they use the phrase “It’s not perfect but…”. To that I say, hell no, not on my watch!

New cake kit group members are greeted with this welcome message. “Hello!! Hello!! So glad you found us!! You’re going to love it in here. It’s full of kind supportive people raising each other up and throwing perfection out of the window (woohoo!!!)”

I want them to know right off the bat that this is a safe space to be imperfect, that you will always be enough in this group. If I’m honest, it’s also a subtle warning, reverse psychology if you like. “Don’t think you can come in here making people feel bad about themselves or I’ll ban you in a heartbeat”. Glennon Doyle would be so proud, I’m a cheetah when it comes to cake kit bullies.

“Kids don’t see crumbs in the icing, they only see the love and time you poured into their homemade cake” has become a mantra in our community.

It’s made parents confident to post their perfectly imperfect cakes with pride. The most beautiful moments for me are when someone posts a cake photo criticising their own efforts. I sit proudly watching the comments light up with words of support from other parents, championing their cake and reminding them of our mantra. You see, it’s no longer just my voice, it’s thousands of voices raising each other up - we have more than 11,000 group members and counting. Embracing vulnerability At the time of launching Cake 2 The Rescue I felt completely lost. I’ve always struggled with a lack of self-worth, but I felt being a parent stripped me of my identity, too.

Being vulnerable was never considered something to celebrate when I was growing up, especially being British. I was always told I was “too much”, that I was over sensitive and that I needed to stop being so “soft”. I learned to hide my true self as best as I could, which resulted in not feeling good enough for most of my adult life.

I’m 46 now and I finally like myself.

I have Cake 2 The Rescue to thank for that.

I love the phrase “if only we could see ourselves how others see us”. It’s the gift I give to my customers every day, but the beautiful thing is it has been returned 10-fold.

In being the most authentic version of myself each day on Facebook lives, I have given my community permission to be themselves too. While I stood tall defending them, I learnt to offer myself the same kindness I afforded to them. I learned that vulnerability is my superpower, and that cake is the vehicle I’ve been given to deliver that message.

If I could talk to the young mum that was me, I would say, make the cake, celebrate the crumbs, judge your self-worth by the smiles on your kids’ faces. You were born enough; you are enough, and you will always be enough.

About the Writer

Lou Duggan is the founder of Cake 2 The Rescue, an award-winning DIY cake kit company which has helped more than 40,000 Australian families pour their love into a homemade cake. With a background in engineering and design, Lou has spent the last ten years building Cake 2 The Rescue into a thriving ecommerce business, with more than 250 cake kit designs, and a loyal online audience of 60,000+ cake fans.

As a talented creative entrepreneur, Lou is a big believer in the power of vulnerability in business, and loves empowering other women to ditch perfectionism and embrace entrepreneurship. Originally from Scotland, Lou is mum to three gorgeous teenage girls, and lives on the Gold Coast with her hubby Craig. She confesses an addiction to human connection, homewares and her cavi George. https://louduggan.com.au https://www.cake2therescue.com.au

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