Washington City Paper (December 21, 2018)

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CITYPAPER WASHINGTON

NEWS: POLS SALVAGE HOSPITAL DEAL—FOR NOW 5 FOOD: A D.C. CHEF SETS UP SHOP IN ARGENTINA 16 ARTS: THE LIFE OF BUTCH WILLIS, IN FILM 18

2018

FREE VOLUME 38, NO. 51 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DEC. 21-27, 2018

Photographs by Darrow Montgomery P. 8


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INSIDE

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COVER STORY: 2018

8

The D.C. that locals know, as seen through the eye of staff photographer Darrow Montgomery

DISTRICT LINE 5 Loose Lips: Despite disagreements, the Council advances plans for a new hospital. 6 Housing Complex: Ward 4’s new homeless shelter already has maintenance issues.

FOOD 16 A Fork in the Road: A locally trained chef and his wife venture 5,000 miles south to open their first restaurant.

ARTS 18 Amateur Hour: The legacy of eccentric songwriter Butch Willis lives on in a new film. 20 Curtain Calls: Klimek on Kings at Studio Theatre and Thal on Oh, God at Atlas Performing Arts Center 21 Sketches: Peters on Season’s Greenings: All Aboard! at the U.S. Botanic Garden

CITY LIST 23 Music 27 Theater 28 Film

DIVERSIONS 29 Savage Love 30 Classifieds 31 Crossword On the cover: Contrails, W Street NW, Dec. 18

DARROW MONTGOMERY 1300 BLOCK OF H STREET NW, DEC. 18

EDITORIAL

EDITOR: ALEXA MILLS MANAGING EDITOR: CAROLINE JONES ARTS EDITOR: MATT COHEN FOOD EDITOR: LAURA HAYES SPORTS EDITOR: KELYN SOONG CITY LIGHTS EDITOR: KAYLA RANDALL LOOSE LIPS REPORTER: MITCH RYALS HOUSING COMPLEX REPORTER: MORGAN BASKIN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: DARROW MONTGOMERY MULTIMEDIA AND COPY EDITOR: WILL WARREN CREATIVE DIRECTOR: STEPHANIE RUDIG CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: MICHON BOSTON, KRISTON CAPPS, CHAD CLARK, RACHEL M. COHEN, RILEY CROGHAN, JEFFRY CUDLIN, EDDIE DEAN, ERIN DEVINE, CUNEYT DIL, TIM EBNER, CASEY EMBERT, JONATHAN L. FISCHER, NOAH GITTELL, SRIRAM GOPAL, HAMIL R. HARRIS, LAURA IRENE, LOUIS JACOBSON, CHRIS KELLY, STEVE KIVIAT, CHRIS KLIMEK, PRIYA KONINGS, JULYSSA LOPEZ, NEVIN MARTELL, KEITH MATHIAS, PABLO MAURER, BRIAN MURPHY, NENET, TRICIA OLSZEWSKI, EVE OTTENBERG, MIKE PAARLBERG, PAT PADUA, JUSTIN PETERS, REBECCA J. RITZEL, ABID SHAH, TOM SHERWOOD, MATT TERL, SIDNEY THOMAS, DAN TROMBLY, JOE WARMINSKY, ALONA WARTOFSKY, JUSTIN WEBER, MICHAEL J. WEST, DIANA MICHELE YAP, ALAN ZILBERMAN

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LOCAL ADVERTISING: (202) 650-6937 FAX: (202) 650-6970, ADS@WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM FIND A STAFF DIRECTORY WITH CONTACT INFORMATION AT WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM VOL. 38, NO. 51 DEC. 21–27, 2018 WASHINGTON CITY PAPER IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEEK AND IS LOCATED AT 734 15TH ST. NW, SUITE 400, WASHINGTON, D.C. 20005. CALENDAR SUBMISSIONS ARE WELCOMED; THEY MUST BE RECEIVED 10 DAYS BEFORE PUBLICATION. U.S. SUBSCRIPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE FOR $250 PER YEAR. ISSUE WILL ARRIVE SEVERAL DAYS AFTER PUBLICATION. BACK ISSUES OF THE PAST FIVE WEEKS ARE AVAILABLE AT THE OFFICE FOR $1 ($5 FOR OLDER ISSUES). BACK ISSUES ARE AVAILABLE BY MAIL FOR $5. MAKE CHECKS PAYABLE TO WASHINGTON CITY PAPER OR CALL FOR MORE OPTIONS. © 2018 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE EDITOR.

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12/13/18 5:33 PM


DISTRICTLINE Doctored Up

Confusion turns to compromise as the D.C. Council moves forward on the construction of a new hospital. By Mitch Ryals Eric GoulEt must have walked in and out of the D.C. Council chambers 20 times during the final legislative meeting of 2018. Clutched in his hand was the future of the District’s healthcare system for generations to come— or at least a piece of it. With each trip to and from the Council chambers, the director for the Committee on Health carried another tweak to the newest legislation Councilmember Vince Gray was pushing to hasten the construction of a desperately needed $325 million hospital east of the Anacostia River. Ultimately, the Council passed Gray’s bill, along with an amendment introduced by Councilmember Elissa Silverman, 10-2. And in doing so councilmembers cleared a major legislative hurdle and avoided derailing the deal for now. On the way to a consensus, a chaotic scene unfolded in front of a full house that included students from Howard University College of Medicine and employees at United Medical Center (UMC), which the new hospital would likely replace. Lawmakers wheeled and dealed from the Council dais and behind closed doors up until the very last minute of the last day of the year to pass legislation. Leading up to the final vote, councilmembers asked questions about the hastily assembled legislation, apparently unsure of what they were about to vote on. In the preceding months, the city worked on a tentative deal with Universal Health Services, Inc. (UHS), a national hospital management company, and George Washington University Hospital, to collaborate on the new hospital. Negotiations with GW Hospital fell apart in early December, but the Council may bring them back to the table given Tuesday’s vote. The passed bill still contains the waiver for the so-called “certificate of need,” an analysis that tells lawmakers and the public if a medical facility is needed. The waiver applies to the new hospital as well as a proposed 200-bed addition to the George Washington University Hospital in Foggy Bottom. But the bill now

Vince Gray

Darrow Montgomery/File

LOOSE LIPS

also contains watered down versions of previous assurances for Howard University and the labor unions representing workers at UMC. The new bill also starts the clock for the District to help Howard University find a new academic affiliation for its medical school. If that doesn’t happen by June of 2019, the deal likely implodes. (Howard University Hospital officials have claimed that a new Ward 8 hospital could take away their business, jeopardizing their medical school. ) Gray, for whom this effort has become a legacy issue, says he is satisfied with the outcome. Just hours before the bill passed, Gray was considering postponing the vote as his staff negotiated the last changes. “I’m happy we can move forward,” he

said after the final gavel, as if he didn’t just sit through a grueling eight hours of sausage making. “I would be happier if we didn’t have any barriers at all associated with this, but something this complicated, there’s always going to be something.” Others are not as pleased. Councilmember Jack Evans, who has been an outspoken opponent of Gray’s push to waive the study of need typically required to open a medical facility, made a final plea from the dais and offered a warning. Evans represents Ward 2, where GW’s Foggy Bottom hospital would expand. Many of his constituents are against that expansion. “I’ve seen bad law get made this way,” he said. “And this is how you make bad law.”

Evans and Chairman Phil Mendelson were the two no votes. Silverman, her salt and pepper hair a bit disheveled after the final vote, summed up the long, confusing process in two words: “A shitshow.” Though she too is pleased to see progress on a new hospital, Silverman was forced to make some concessions on the protections she had successfully put in place for unionized workers. Under Silverman’s previous addition to the legislation, the new hospital would have been required to honor UMC employees’ collective bargaining agreements. Now, a weaker amendment only requires the new hospital to hire half of UMC’s employees. Under the new legislation, UHS would not be required to honor collective bargaining agreements. However, under Silverman’s new amendment, any UMC workers who are not hired are entitled to an explanation from UHS based on their qualifications, Silverman says. “There’s not going to be quality care for Ward 8 residents, that’s what just got passed today,” says Yahnae Barner, vice president of 1199 SEIU, which represents some UMC workers. “There’s not going to be quality union jobs, and there’s not going to be quality healthcare. It seems like the councilmembers are OK with that.” Councilmember Trayon White also made concessions to the amendment he successfully passed Dec. 4. This amendment mandated an academic partnership between Howard University and UHS, which would allow Howard’s medical students to train in the new hospital. The final version, passed yesterday, makes the waiver of the study of need contingent on Howard University finding a new academic affiliation, but it does not require that affiliation be with UHS. Although councilmembers seemed confident that Howard University officials approved of the compromise, the dean of the College of Medicine, Dr. Hugh Mighty, was striking a different tone last Sunday, when Goulet announced an early version of Gray’s compromise. After a public forum on the hospital proposal at the Union Temple Baptist Church Sunday evening, Mighty strongly expressed his desire for his students to work in the new Ward 8 hospital. “I’m going to put it bluntly to you standing out here,” Mighty told LL on the steps of Union Temple in Ward 8. “This is the neighborhood. It’s one thing to say you’ll find Howard affiliation agreements elsewhere, but the practicality of that in this District where you have three other medical schools is unlikely in existing hospitals.” White indicated that UHS would not support these changes either, but said, “at some point we have to do something about it, and not take the dictatorship coming our way.” CP

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DISTRICTLINE Growing Pains

Morgan Baskin

Maintenance issues persist in Ward 4’s brand new homeless shelter.

By Morgan Baskin Less than three months after they moved in to a brand-new homeless shelter in Ward 4, residents at The Kennedy, an “apartmentstyle” shelter on 5th Street NW, say maintenance issues have persisted in the building for weeks. Growing pains at the 45-unit shelter, where District officials held a ribbon cutting at the end of September, include issues with elevator service and water leaks. The shelter was the first of seven planned spaces of its kind to open as part of Mayor Muriel Bowser’s plan to close DC General, once the city’s largest family homeless shelter, and replace its capacity with smaller shelter sites around D.C. But maintenance issues at The Kennedy have frustrated residents, who say that they have reported these issues to shelter staff multiple times over the last month. One resident, a mother of two who requested anonymity out of fear of retribution from

HOUSING COMPLEX

the shelter staff, has difficulty walking up and down the stairs. She has asthma and osteoarthritis in her spine, but lives on the third floor of the shelter. Over the weekend, when the shelter’s single elevator was out of service, the resident says she had difficulty accessing food that’s served in a small cafeteria on site. Children “must be within eyesight of their parent(s) at all times,” according to a handbook of the shelter’s rules produced by the National Center for Children and Families, the service provider contracted by the city to manage The Kennedy. The resident says that her children, one of whom is 18, waited several hours for a shelter staff member to accompany them down to the basement level to get dinner while the elevator was broken. She says that the shelter staff have told her “that I can go to another facility if I’m not happy.” “The fact that [the elevator] has broken down countless times since this place opened with great fanfare is really concerning... Literally every other day it sounds like the elevator is going out,” says Ann Marie Staudenmaier, a staff attorney at the Washington Legal Clinic for the Homeless. “The fact that

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[it’s] falling apart indicates that it was not constructed in a way that’s meant to withstand years of use. These are the brand new shiny shelters that the city’s touting as a replacement to DC General.” The shelter also mandates a curfew of 9:30 p.m. from Sunday through Thursday, and 11:00 p.m. on Friday and Saturday. “I’ve never been to prison, but I’ve watched prison shows. And it feels like I’m in prison here,” the resident says. It’s not uncommon for District-contracted homeless service providers to mandate curfews, or require that parents accompany their children at all times on a property. At motels like the Days Inn on New York Avenue NE, where dozens of D.C.’s chronically homeless families live, similar policies are in effect. That policy was also in place at DC General before it closed in October. But advocates for the homeless have criticized the idea that kids shouldn’t have any independence, arguing that these guardianship policies over-police families and treat facilities like a prison. (“I felt like I was signing in to see an inmate at the jail,” Staudenmaier says

of her visit to The Kennedy last week.) The resident says that she knows a handful of others with physical disabilities who live on the upper levels of the building. “The first floor should be for people with disabilities,” the tenant says, referring to maintenance issues like the elevator outages. “This place is not disability-friendly at all.” She adds that a neighbor on the third floor reported a plumbing issue that caused water damage in one of the bathrooms in that hallway, and also alerted staff to a water leak on the fifth floor. (By design, certain bathrooms in the building have wheelchair-accessible showers. But not all of them do, and they’re scattered throughout the building.) And she says that, despite rules against smoking in the building, the smell of cigarette and pot smoke pervades the hallways, agitating her asthma. A spokesperson for service provider NCCF sent City Paper an emailed statement, saying in part that any maintenance issues that tenants of The Kennedy have submitted “have been reported directly to the contractor and are in the process of being formally submitted to the appropriate partners in the DC government offices.” The spokesperson added that NCCF has “received no report of a burst pipe or flooding on the 5th floor, however there was a concern over the weekend regarding an outside door to the roof and water entering the building due to the extreme weather the D.C. area experienced. Proper precautions including water clean-up, signage, and formal documentation for the building services providers were taken immediately.” A spokesperson for the Department of Human Services says that a contractor was dispatched on Monday to fix the elevator, and that the agency has been assured it’s a permanent fix. The spokesperson also says that DHS has directed the shelter’s service provider to notify the agency of any other maintenance issues. Two other shelters, in wards 7 and 8, opened in October and November, respectively. Construction on shelters in wards 3, 5, and 6 is ongoing, and District officials plan on opening them between the summer of 2019 and spring of 2020. A shelter in Ward 1 is slated to open that summer. DC General closed in late October, shortly after The Kennedy opened, but before shelters in wards 7 and 8 opened. During a September tour of the Ward 4 shelter, DHS Director Laura Zeilinger estimated that while the average length of stay for families at DC General was about 180 days, DHS has set a target length of 90-day stays for families at the smaller shelters. “We committed to replacing DC General with smaller, more dignified programs that can provide the services, support, and environment that our families need to get back on their feet,” Bowser said in a September press release, “and with these community-based partners, we’re doing just that.” CP


IT ISN’T TOO LATE! SHOWS THROUGH DECEMBER 28

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NOVEMBER 29– DECEMBER 28, 2018 WARNER THEATRE

Mark Bradford: Tomorrow Is Another Day, presented at The Baltimore Museum of Art, is made possible by the Henry Luce Foundation, Maryland State Arts Council – Department of Commerce, Nancy L. Dorman and Stanley Mazaroff, Gabriel and Deborah Brener, Katherine and Joseph Hardiman, John Meyerhoff, M.D. and Lenel Srochi-Meyerhoff, Mafia Papers Studio, and Hauser & Wirth. The project is also supported in part by an award from the National Endowment for the Arts. For more information, visit www.arts.gov.

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2018 Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

“City Paper: where we write words to go with Darrow’s photos.” That’s not an uncommon thought around this newsroom. Darrow Montgomery has been documenting the District for City Paper since 1986, and some days our articles feel like mere vehicles for his photographs. This year he captured, in his own way, the same D.C. the world saw: protesters at the Capitol and Supreme Court opposing the nomination of now-Justice Brett Kavanaugh; the day locals and visitors alike flooded a white supremacist rally, shutting it down; and the crowd downtown the moment the Capitals won the Stanley Cup. He also photographed the D.C. that locals love: a teen gymnast mid-flip in a Silver Spring gym; longtime employees of Jessie Taylor Seafood stocking live crabs; and the new Marion Barry statue outside the Wilson Building. This is the past year as a resident photographer saw it. Here’s to waiting for 2019 in photos. Cheers. —Alexa Mills

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Clockwise from right: The Washington Ballet, Aug. 30; Capitals win the Stanley Cup, June 7; Mt. Pleasant Street NW, Oct. 22; Ohio Drive SW, Jan. 20; Gospel concert at Scripture Cathedral, Prince George’s County, May 6


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Left page, clockwise from top left: Election Night, Nov. 6; Sharnita Brice and son Seven, Aug. 19; Maine Avenue Fish Market, Aug. 16; Gravelly Point, May 5; Gravelly Point, June 17 Right page, clockwise from top right: Unite the Right 2 Protest, Aug. 12; Unite the Right 2 Protest, Aug. 12; Unite the Right 2 Protest, Aug. 12; Unveiling of Marion Barry Statue, March 3; H Street NW, March 5; Malcolm X Park, July 4 washingtoncitypaper.com december 21, 2018 11


Clockwise from bottom left: Kavanaugh Protest, Oct. 6; Kavanaugh Protest, Oct. 6; Kavanaugh Protest, Oct. 6; Arists Maxwell Young, Maps Glover, and Jamal Gray, Sept. 4 Glenstone, art museum and outdoor space, Sept. 21 12 december 21, 2018 washingtoncitypaper.com


Clockwise from top left: Portraits from The People Issue, Nov. 9 (Michael Twitty, Dian Holton, Ahmad Zaghal, Traci Hughes]; Changa Anderson II, Nov. 8

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Clockwise from top left: Mt. Pleasant Street NW, Oct. 2; H Street NW, Aug. 7; 7th Street NW, Oct. 29; Franklin Street NE, July 29; Washington Monument grounds, Jan. 20

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A Fork in the Road

13 Fronteras

A locally trained chef and his wife journey across the equator to open their first restaurant.

By Manuela Tobias A lArge red emblem of three stars above two horizontal knives welcomes restaurantgoers to 13 Fronteras in the San Telmo neighborhood of Buenos Aires, Argentina. Guests ask if it symbolizes revolution, or if it’s the number 13 using the Mayan numeral system, which employs a se-

YOUNG & HUNGRY

ries of bars and dots. But the storefront insignia is actually a twist on the D.C. flag, which 13 Fronteras’ Chef Dave Soady also has tattooed on this arm. The restaurant is named after the 13 frontiers Soady and his wife, Cristabel, crossed after leaving the U.S. on their intercontinental journey. (Technically, they only passed through 12 countries, but had to cross the Mexican border twice because the first time around, the border patrol agents were so busy

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inspecting their camper that they forgot to stamp their passports.) In 2014, Dave, a D.C.-area native, and Cris, along with their two Shih Tzus, Willie and Teppo, packed up their belongings— mostly kitchen utensils—squeezing them Tetris-style into a red camper and drove south from D.C. to a yet-to-be-determined destination. “You guys shouldn’t do this,” Dave says a Border Patrol agent warned them when they

hit Eagle Pass, Texas, heading into Mexico. “The cartel shot up a family in a station wagon last week. Basically, you’re done.” They forged ahead anyway. After Guatemala, they hit El Salvador, and stayed in Cris’ rural hometown, Cojutepeque, for seven months as they searched for jobs farther south. They set their sights on Argentina after falling in love with its wild, untouched landscapes during a 2011 road trip. Dave likens it to going back in time. “Strip malls and cookie cutter houses are the things I hate the most, and when I think about Argentina, that’s not part of the deck of cards,” he says. So when they stumbled upon an ad calling for a couple—a chef and an administrator—to run Estancia La Margarita, a rural retreat 200 miles south of Buenos Aires, they grabbed the opportunity. They packed their bags once more and drove through Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Panama, finally hitting the Darién Gap, which interrupts the Pan-American Highway. From there, they shipped their car to Cartagena, Colombia, put their stuff on a cargo plane, and flew south to meet it. As they waited for their car, they stumbled into a family’s living room while admiring the artwork that hung there, mistaking it for a museum. When the artist found two strangers in her home, she invited them to stay for dinner. “It was incredible,” Cris says. “It’s one of those experiences that only happen when you are getting to know other places and find people who are willing to open up their homes and their hearts without even knowing you.” After Colombia, they drove through Ecuador and Peru, hitting up stalls of fresh seafood in the fishing villages, and crossed Chile, experiencing mirages in the Atacama Desert. Two days after passing through snowcovered mountains into Argentina, a houseful of guests were expecting their new hosts at the ranch. At estAnciA lA MArgAritA, Dave cooked three daily meals for up to 25 guests at a time using ingredients from the farm— anything from wild fruits and nuts to the


DCFEED cows, pigs, and sheep he would vaccinate, castrate, and slaughter. Cris arranged activities for guests such as horseback riding or flamenco dancing. “It was really farm to table,” Cris says, laughing. A year and a half later, a new owner took over and let everyone go. Cris and Dave decided to start over in Buenos Aires. They had yet to establish residency, which meant they couldn’t get paid for their work. At the estancia, Dave explains, there were no inspectors— the nearest town was 10 miles away. To hone his skills, Dave apprenticed at Aramburu, an award-winning, tastingmenu restaurant. Eventually, he landed a paying job at a hotel restaurant called Anselmo, where he was able to build some name recognition. When Cris got a job as a translator, the pair had enough money to open their own restaurant. In June 2017, as he was heading home from a run, Dave knocked on the door of what would become 13 Fronteras. Two months later, he signed the lease. In creating the menu for his first official restaurant, Dave drew inspiration from the ingredients and recipes he encountered in his crosscontinental journey. The Argentine chorizo is made from wild boar and served with figs, sauerkraut, and plantains. The Mexican mole is slathered on a rabbit leg paired with mashed fermented beans. The brined pork belly embodies Dave’s first bite when they crossed into Ecuador and comes with kimchi inspired by the Ecuadorian chef who passed onto Dave his love for pickling and fermenting. Then there’s the Exótico Argentino—a special that rotates weekly. Like the rest of the dishes on the menu, Dave prepares Argentine ingredients using globally inspired techniques. One week, it was frog ravioli. Another, tempura-fried crocodile meatballs drizzled with hot sauce. “Argentina is known for its meat, but that’s just a small, small, small sample of what’s good here,” Dave explains. “You wanna talk about good? Let’s talk about goat. Let’s talk about pig. Let’s talk about vegetables. There’s a lot of good stuff here that’s not mainstream.” Dave is now exploring edible bugs. Metamorphosis, their last tasting menu, featured silkworm larvae, pupae, and eggs on edible wood. He’s now in conversation with a grasshopper purveyor. “I call [insects] a back-to-the-future ingredient,” Dave says. “It’s something that people ate in pre-Columbian society and people are going to have to eat more of in the near future.” Each of Dave’s flavor fusions is a trip of its own, and he’s eager to tell diners what, exactly, they just bit into and the story behind it. He modeled the restaurant after Peter’s Carryout, the Bethesda diner where he learned to

cook the summer after high school. “So it worked!” says Peter’s owner Ned Saah upon hearing the way Dave interacts with his customers across the bar. “That engagement was part of his lesson. That’s why they keep coming back. I always told him, just have fun.” And they really do keep coming back. Most of Dave’s clientele are neighborhood locals eager to try his latest creation. One regular customer feels so comfortable in the space that she frequently dines in her pajamas. Cris never imagined the man she met 14 years ago, who grew up watching football and drinking Miller Lite, would end up cooking insects in Argentina. The couple first met when Dave was assigned to train Cris when she started working at Potomac Valley Brick, a Rockville-based building materials supplier. They spent the majority of their eight-hour shifts talking, and quickly began dating. In 2007, Dave required ankle surgery to relieve his severe arthritis. Recovery took almost two years. As he recuperated, Cris pushed him to follow his dream. That’s how Dave came to train under former White House Chef Patrice Olivon at L’Academie de Cuisine in Bethesda. “I could see that he was excited to go in the evenings to culinary school,” Cris says. “It was a big change, even when we were working. Because when you see someone that isn’t happy…” she trails off. “That’s why I asked him, ‘What do you want to do?’” After graduation, he stayed on at the culinary school as an assistant for two years before Chef Chris Nye hired him as a sous chef at Rustico in Alexandria. Nye was hesitant to hire someone with so little experience. “But something kind of struck me about Dave,” he says. “Most people don’t know what they want in this industry or even what their short term goals are. He was really confident in the way he knew what he wanted. And one of his goals was to go with his wife and cook in Latin America.” “This is the starting point, you know,” Dave explains, motioning to the restaurant. “Shortly after we opened [Cris] said, ‘We did it, OK, what’s next?’” “Once you begin to travel and explore the world you want to continue,” Cris explains. “We would like to open another restaurant in a more remote location, somewhere in the Andes, Patagonia, or who knows… Perhaps we’ll open a restaurant in a place nestled somewhere where the journey alone will be an adventure for diners to get to.” CP Eatery tips?Food pursuits? Send suggestions to lhayes@washingtoncitypaper.com.

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CPARTS

Listen to a breezy new song from local folk singer Sara Curtin. washingtoncitypaper.com/arts

Amateur Hour

A new film documents the weird existence and brilliant music of the eccentric D.C. songwriter Butch Willis. grew up in Arlington, but now resides in Cambridge, Massachusetts. “The idea was just to bring more attention to him. And also just to show all that amazing footage.” Raised in suburban Maryland, Willis started making music during the late ’70s while sharing a Takoma Park apartment with Root Boy Slim, a famed gonzo D.C.-area musician who wrote songs like “Boogie ’Till You Puke.” “He hired Root Boy’s band to be his backing band in the studio,” Robinson explains. “And he paid them and paid the studio bill and he put out his first album in 1983 on his own label, Love Records.” Later, Joe’s Record Paradise owner Joe Lee formed a more devoted group for Willis out of regular customers, including guitarist Dean Evangelista, bassist Jon Curlin, and “throat guitarist” Al Breon. This version of The Rocks would record Willis’ classic second album, Forthcomings, and would also back the singer on the first (and final) episode of Forestville Rocks, a cable-access show concocted by Heavy Metal Parking Lot creators Jeff Krulik and John Heyn. To put things mildly, The Rocks were pretty weird. Breon made animalistic staccato whelps by tapping his hand against his trachea while a mullet-clad and sunglasses-sporting Willis belted lyrics like, “Drugs will do it to ya, rock! rock! rock! / Make you feel spicy / Make you feel icy / Make you want an ice cream cone / Make you wanna shovel for your own,” in a thick Maryland accent. Robinson first saw the group in 1985, when they opened for Evangelista’s band No Trend at a D.C. club called Friendship Station. “It was—as much as I can remember about it—one of those moments where you’re just thinking, ‘What is going on? My brain can’t comprehend what’s going on on stage,’” he recalls. “The music was great. Just the oddness of it. I don’t know if Butch was trying to be odd, but the band that was put togethBill Hanke

Mark Robinson (left) sings with Butch Willis (right)

By Aaron Leitko TeenBeaT RecoRds has released a lot of great music, but it has never been content to only release music. Over the last 34 years, the venerable indie label, which was founded in 1984 in Arlington, has assigned catalog numbers to over 500 items. Records, certainly, but also matchbooks, banquets, business agreements, the use of Flin Flon’s song “Floods” as theme music for Anderson Cooper 360, and a house. However, Amateur on Plastic—designated Teenbeat 564—will be the label’s first feature length film. Directed by label founder Mark Robinson, the documentary chronicles the life of Butch Willis, an eccentric D.C. performer and songwriter who self-released two bizarro records during the early ’80s with his backing band, The 18 december 21, 2018 washingtoncitypaper.com

Rocks, and who continued to put out music throughout the ’90s via Teenbeat. Willis, now 64, was not a conventional musician and Amateur is hardly a conventional rock doc. Assembled from publicaccess appearances, home videos, and trippy VHS ephemera, it’s surreal and hypnagogic. There are barely any talking headstyle interviews and Willis—who is a bit tangent prone—is the film’s sole narrator. The wild concert footage is authentic, but the convincingly anodyne TV interviews are staged. It’s funny, but also tender and sad. The film took Robinson—who started the project with little in the way of movie making experience—nearly a decade to complete. “His music is so amazing and he never really got that many people to listen to it,” explains the director, who


CPARTS er for him was definitely odd in certain respects and the whole thing really gelled well musically.” They became personally acquainted a few years later, when Robinson saw the group play a house show. “I think it was on Gist Street in the basement,” says Robinson, who by then had his own band, Unrest. “There was an open microphone and for whatever reason I just walked up and I started singing ‘The Garden Outside’ with him. I think that was in ’87 or ’88. And that’s where I met him.” Not long after that, Robinson began releasing Willis’ music on Teenbeat, a relationship that would continue until the early ’00s when the singer’s mental health issues lead them to fall out of touch. Willis currently lives in public housing in Gaithersburg and the two have since reconnected. In 2007, Robinson had the idea to make a documentary on Willis. He shot a number of one-on-one interviews, but hit a wall. “I finished all of these interviews and just thought, ‘I do not know how to make a movie. How do I put all of this together?’” says Robinson. “So it just kind of sat for a while.” Krulik—who briefly “managed” Willis during the ’80s and who provided much of the archival footage used in the film— urged Robinson to keep trying and ultimately worked to pair him up with two local filmmakers, Todd Rohal and Paul Lovelace, who would serve as editors. Krulik and Robinson handed off the footage and waited. And waited. “[Todd and Paul] were living their lives, doing other projects,” Robinson says. “And then almost two years ago, Krulik wrote to them and said, ‘How’s it coming along?’ and they pretty much said, ‘we’re not really doing that.’ So then Jeff said ‘Mark, I think you should

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get back on this thing.’” Krulik, however, credits Robinson with pushing Amateur across the finish line. “Mark just decided on his own that he had to get back on track and make this thing happen,” the filmmaker says. “It was his own volition that he had to make the sacrifices to get this ready for prime time. I kept encouraging him. He just needed time.” In the interim, Robinson had tightened up his editing skills by making short films, which he posted on Teenbeat’s YouTube page. He also had an epiphany on how to handle the interview footage that he had collected: junk it. “At one point, somebody refused [an interview], because they had been a talking head in too many rock documentaries,” Robinson says. “And it got me thinking, ‘You’re right!’ You know, when you watch these movies it’s almost like you’re watching, ‘Hey look at this guy’s living room’ or ‘Hey look at this guy’s kitchen.’ So, I actually did not even use any of that except for the interviews with Butch.” Once the movie was just Butch in his own words, it was a lot easier for Robinson to put together. The talking-head footage survives in a 10-minute companion short, which the director will screen alongside the film. AmAteur on PlAstic is strange and funny and maintains the out-of-context outsider-art spirit of experiencing The Rocks via bootleg VHS tapes or YouTube clips. It showcases Willis’ work, but also the work of people who made equally compelling art out of Butch’s weirdness, like Krulik’s Forestville Rocks clip or the 60 Minutes-style interview footage that

No Trend’s Jeff Mentges concocted for a class project. Both could go toe-to-toe with anything on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. However, Amateur doesn’t shy away from Willis’ mental health issues and darker moments. In video shot at shows during the ’90s and at Teenbeat’s annual banquets, there’s footage of fans singing along with Butch’s a capella performances, but you can also catch a few nervous glances. Late in the film, a few sequences document Willis living in squalid conditions. The serious touch shouldn’t be a surprise. To Robinson and Krulik, Willis’ music had depth that extended beyond its sheer craziness. “Some people could look at all that and think it was a joke,” says Krulik, speaking about the Forestville Rocks footage. “I don’t and never did. I was totally sold.” “During the ’90s, there as a mini-trend of outsider artists getting hip as ironic novelty stuff,” recalls D.C.-based music writer Marc Masters, who regularly attended Teenbeat events where Willis performed. “Butch’s music was definitely way better than that. Butch acted a little nutty, but he was a good songwriter. I think that maybe, in a weird way, if he had been just a novelty songwriter, he might have gotten more notoriety, but his music was more substantial than that.” Robinson is more succinct on Willis: “I just think he’s a great american songwriter,” he says. “I just really love his music, I don’t know what to say.” CP A screening of “Amateur on Plastic” will take place on Dec. 26 at Black Cat. 1811 14th St. NW. $10. 7:30 p.m.

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THEATERCURTAIN CALLS Kings

POWER MOVES Kings

By Sarah Burgess Directed by Marti Lyons At Studio Theatre to Jan. 6 The myTh ThaT a righteous rookie could accomplish more on behalf of the American public than any seasoned, pragmatic political operator is one that has driven lots of squishyhearted movies, from Frank Capra’s 1939 classic Mr. Smith Goes to Washington to Ivan Reitman’ 1993 comedy Dave. Arena Stage turned the latter into a musical earlier this year, even as real-world events were detonating the warm fantasy of the Know-Nothing Chief Executive, hopefully forever. Kings, written by Alexandria native Sarah Burgess and first performed at the Public Theater in New York early this year, is another story about an idealistic novice politician, but it owes more to Aaron Sorkin and Armando Iannucci than it does to Capra. It’s an absorbing, utterly credible procedural about how the opaque funding of our political campaigns inevitably grinds even the shrewdest and/or most honorable of candidates into mediocrities. Marti Lyons’ streamlined production for Studio X, Studio Theatre’s newish-work series, is all clean angles and svelte blocking, reflecting the gulf between what we, the people, see and what our elected surrogates do. Burgess’ narrative follows Sydney Millsap (Nehassaiu deGannes), a freshman representative from the Texas 24th. That she’s both the first woman and the first African-American to be elected to Congress from her district leads every profile written about her, but she’s also a former accountant for an oil and gas company. That experience has allowed her to see clearly how a carried interest loophole keeps billions out of the U.S. Treasury. Who benefits? Not “job creators.” Just fund managers, getting paid for the “risks” they took by

gambling with other people’s money—and, as she’ll learn, the lobbyists they employ to make sure one (ahem) man, one vote remains just another insidious fantasy. When John McDowell (Elliott Bales), a powerful Senate committee chair with the presidency on his mind, tries to get Sydney to stop spooking their party’s donors, Sydney declines to capitulate to The Bastards, opting instead to challenge McDowell in the primary. Filling both their ears are Lauren and Kate, two smart, professionally amoral lobbyists, played by Laura C. Harris and Kelly McCrann, respectively. The pleasure of Kings come from Burgess’ command of the professional language of these kingmakers, and from her persuasive conjuring of their habitats: ski weekends, golf getaways, donor events that make even (or especially) pols with their hands out want to slit their wrists. Though the entire company is excellent, deGannes is the standout. We see her giving speeches and debating Bales on the campaign trail, revealing how little space exists between her public and private personas. The latter is on view in her one-on-ones with those lobbyists in her office or, in the play’s best scene, at a Chili’s. That Burgess seems to have genuine sympathy for all her characters even as she excoriates the system they all prop up is a contradiction that gives the piece an energy you’d never expect from a play about taxes. —Chris Klimek

However, the moment the instrument leaves his hands, he transforms: Fingers that could hold the bow and press strings with delicate precision, curl; limbs that cradled the cello twist, and where his notes were once clear and in-tune, his vocalizations are strained and inarticulate. The young man is autistic and though he seems to understand some of what his mother says, he is entirely non-verbal, and unable to fully process his own emotions. Ella must interrupt the recital because a mysterious new client will soon arrive. Since the audience is likely already in on the late playwright Anat Gov’s comic premise of God (Mitchell Hébert) seeing a shrink, there is laughter rather than absurdist angst when Ella worries the omniscient client who is reluctant to give his name is a Mossad spymaster or Shin Bet officer who has had her investigated prior to the appointment. God is depressed, experiencing suicidal ideation, and this means destroying the entire world that believes in Him. Ella (who insists she is named for the pistachio tree, and not the Hebrew word for “goddess”) has a single therapy session to unravel the troubled relationship between God and humanity. Because the play is set in Israel, even a secularist like Ella who claims not to believe in God yet is nonetheless deeply angry with Him, is sufficiently educated in the Bible. She analyzes not just the moment He created Adam, but family dynamics throughout Genesis, and unpacks His final speech in the Book of Job and why He has been silent ever since. (However irreverent Ella’s take, Gov’s God is the God of Judaism.) Her questions are less the classic theological puzzle of how evil can ex-

her patient and the Bible are not just snarky; they’re a serious inquiry into the nature of violence and abuse that permeate our culture on both the personal and geo-political scale. The take-down of the deity as an abusive male is not without empathy, however. The translation by Anthony Berris and Margalit Rodgers keeps a proper balance between the many one-liners on one hand and the serious drama of theological speculation and moral outrage on the other. At times, director Michael Bloom seems to have some trouble striking that balance, and too often defaults to the tonality of a workplace sitcom at moments when more gravitas is needed. McCoy’s performance as Lior is admirably vulnerable (the seeming authenticity probably owes much to work with Special Needs Consultant Dana Gillespie) and he brings out some of Schraf and Hébert’s best moments on stage during his brief appearances, including a silent interaction between the teenager and the Eternal. One of the best choices in Mosaic’s production was to restore Lior to the play—he had been excised in the play’s American premiere at Boston-based Israeli Stage when I reviewed it in 2016. Lior’s inability to communicate provides a powerful counterpoint to God’s own troubled relationship with humanity. Set designer Jonathan Dahm Robertson dresses the otherwise nondescript psychologist’s office with a few idiosyncratic touches: an almost expressionist painting of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil by Lior, and the Jerusalem stone of the patio garden just outside the office, while also cleverly concealing a few magic tricks (or miracles). Lighting designer Brittany Shemuga captures the pas-

Oh, God

1501 14th St. NW. $20–$62. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org.

SYMPATHY FOR THE DEITY Oh, God

By Anat Gov Directed by Michael Bloom At Atlas Performing Arts Center to Jan. 13 In her home office, Israeli psychologist Ella (Kimberly Schraf ) listens lovingly as Lior, her teenage son (Sean McCoy), plays the cello.

20 december 21, 2018 washingtoncitypaper.com

ist in a universe with an omnipotent creator and more the about the figure that appears in scripture, often testing His favorites and sowing discord between brothers from generation to generation, while also speaking of compassion and love. Schraf and Hébert have great comic chops, and know how to inflect a laugh line, but their performance is overly broad considering Gov’s script is also addressing some substantial theological questions. Ella’s psychoanalytic and feminist examination of both

sage of the late-afternoon sun reflecting on stone, trellises, leaves, and vines. Mosaic Theater Company’s Voices from a Changing Middle East Festival exposes D.C. audiences to an Israel that exists outside foreign policy issues. This production is not perfect, but given that Oh, God is one of Anat Gov’s more challenging works, it’s worth checking out. —Ian Thal 1333 H St. NE. $15–$65. 202-399-7993. mosaictheater.org.


GALLERIESSKETCHES

GREEN EXPECTATIONS Season’s Greenings: All Aboard! At the U.S. Botanic Garden to Jan. 1, 2019

It just Isn’t Christmas until you’ve gone down to the U.S. Botanic Garden to see a bunch of iconic American train stations painstakingly rendered in tree bark. If this is your holiday motto, then this year’s Christmas will truly be a merry one, my odd friend! A new seasonal exhibit at the Botanic Garden features dozens of plant-based miniature train stations for your holiday pleasure. After two visits, I can safely say that Season’s Greenings: All Aboard! is the absolute best bark-centric model railway exhibit that your family will see this year. The Botanic Garden erects an extensive model train setup each Christmas featuring elaborate sylvan replicas of famous American structures. Season’s Greenings is the name of the recurring exhibit, which is a bit of a misnomer, because most of the structures are brown. In 2017, Seasons Greenings featured trains scooting around plant-based renditions of famed American roadside attractions; in 2016, the exhibit focused on national parks and historic sites. I am not entirely sure how arboreal model-making became such a beloved D.C. holiday tradition, but I suspect the National Twig Council is to blame. This year the Garden is doing train stations, which seems a bit on-the-nose compared to previous installations, but who cares! Give the people what they want, I say, and what they want is twig-based scale models of Metro-North stations. The exhibit, which runs through New Year’s Day, features over two dozen different models, all of which are testimonials to the artistic versatility of wood. Every design detail on every train station, from the roofs to the façades to the lettering above the doors, was made out of some sort of woodsy plant—a construction process that clearly required great dexterity and imagination. “How faithful are these models to their inspirations?” you ask. Reader, the answer is “very.” There is no mistaking these structures for anything except their namesake train stations.

“Yep, that’s Grand Central Terminal made out of sticks and bark,” you will say as you pause in front of said exhibit. “Oh, look, it’s some other train station now,” you will say next. Be forewarned: The construction materials offer a limited color palette that does not always correspond to the true tones and hues of the buildings being modeled. Browns and tans are the dominant shades—though there are some striking reds to be found here and there—and they tend to make the stations look sooty and bleak, the sorts of places where a Victorian orphan might catch tuberculosis. Also, I would have gladly swapped out some of the smaller, more obscure train stations on display, such as the unprepossessing model of the Kirkwood Missouri Pacific Depot, for some stations with more local appeal, such as the New Carrollton Metro stop. Oh well! That said, there are some truly impressive showpieces on display here. The model of Cincinnati’s impressive Art Deco half dome Union Terminal was particularly striking, with the façade rendered gracefully in cork bark and the roof done in cedar. Likewise, the imposing model of the mammoth Michigan Central Station was faced in cork and elm bark, with columns from honeysuckle branches and other flora, and trim rendered in oak, walnut, and cottonwood bark, among other tree-based things. And I enjoyed the part where you peered into a hollowed-out tree to see a diorama of the interior of the old Penn Station. I am always game to look into a hollow tree to see what’s inside, and usually the answer is nowhere near as entertaining. Those visitors who are into trains, not terminals, will also find much to like about Season’s Greenings: All Aboard! There are trains tootling around the stations and through the stations; trains chugging overhead on wooden bridgespanning wooden cliffs. Thomas the Tank Engine, of children’s television fame, even makes an appearance, steaming through the “Dino Depot” while baring his famous dopey grin. The “Dino Depot,” in case you were wondering, is an imaginary train station that resembles a large, predatory dinosaur with a roof for a back. It’s the big surprise near the end of the exhibit: a whimsical final touch on this thoroughly delightful installation. —Justin Peters 100 Maryland Ave. SW. Free. (202) 225-8333. usbg.gov. washingtoncitypaper.com december 21, 2018 21

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Poppy  Early Show! 6pm Doors ......Th 31 Amen Dunes w/ Arthur  Late Show! 10pm Doors ....................Th 31

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DC’s All-90s Band ..................Su 30

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Ozomatli   w/ Chopteeth Afrofunk Big Band .Th 3 No Scrubs: ‘90s Dance Party

with DJs Will Eastman and Ozker    • Visuals by Kylos .......................F 4 BENT: A New LGBTQ Dance Party  featuring DJs Lemz, KeenanOrr,  and The Barber Streisand //   Performances by Pussy Noir,   Donna Slash, and   Bombalicious Eklaver ..............Sa 5

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Story District’s Top Shelf . JAN 19

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An Evening with DEA Agents  Steve Murphy & Javier Pena    A Conversation on Pablo Escobar’s    Take Down and the Hit    Netflix Show Narcos ................... FEB 2

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CITYLIST

3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter! Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS

Dec 20

Music 23 Theater 27 Film 28

Music

CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY

LOVE ACTUALLY

FRIDAY BLUES

JAZZ POP

FUNK & R&B

CLASSICAL

KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Handel’s Messiah. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org. KENNEDY CENTER TERRACE THEATER 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. International School of Music presents The Student Honors Recital. 7:30 p.m. $45. kennedy-center.org.

COUNTRY

BIRCHMERE 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Bill Kirchen & Commander Cody. 7:30 p.m. $29.50. birchmere.com.

ELECTRONIC

U STREET MUSIC HALL 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889. Nadastrom. 10 p.m. $12–$15. ustreetmusichall.com.

FOLK

SONGBYRD MUSIC HOUSE AND RECORD CAFE 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. MyKey. 9 p.m. Free. songbyrddc.com.

GOSPEL

KENNEDY CENTER MILLENNIUM STAGE 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Sweet Heaven Kings. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. BLUES ALLEY 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Marcus Johnson: Urban Jam Band Holiday Party. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com. SONGBYRD MUSIC HOUSE AND RECORD CAFE 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. June Pastel. 8 p.m. $10. songbyrddc.com.

PEARL STREET WAREHOUSE 33 Pearl Street SW. (202) 380-9620. Micah Robinson with BOOMscat. 8 p.m. Free. pearlstreetwarehouse.com.

WORLD

HIP-HOP

BOSSA BISTRO 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088. Alfredo Mojica Group. 10:30 p.m. $5–$10. bossadc. com. UNION STAGE 740 Water St. SW. (877) 987-6487. Black Masala. 8 p.m. $12–$15. unionstage.com.

SATURDAY CLASSICAL

KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Handel’s Messiah. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.

DJ NIGHTS

U STREET MUSIC HALL 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889. Bashment: A House of Caribbeans Ting. 10 p.m. $10– $15. ustreetmusichall.com. UNION STAGE 740 Water St. SW. (877) 987-6487. BUMPPP! Holiday Party. 11 p.m. Free. unionstage.com.

ELECTRONIC

SONGBYRD MUSIC HOUSE AND RECORD CAFE 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Fabrizio. 8 p.m. $10–$12. songbyrddc.com.

SONGBYRD MUSIC HOUSE AND RECORD CAFE 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Terrell Brown. 9 p.m. $5. songbyrddc.com. UNION STAGE 740 Water St. SW. (877) 987-6487. The X-Mas Party Featuring MJx. 6:30 p.m. $12–$15. unionstage.com.

HOLIDAY KENNEDY CENTER TERRACE THEATER 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Boys & Girls Club of Greater Washington presents: Holiday Sing. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

JAZZ BIRCHMERE 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Maysa and her Jazz Funk Soul Orchestra. 7:30 p.m. $69.50. birchmere.com.

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A Very MAYSA Christmas

23

LUTHER RE-LIVES

"Maysa’s Jazz Funk Soul Orchestra”

26&27 Comedy and Magic!

PIFF

THE MAGIC DRAGON

PIECES OF A DREAM 29 LAST TRAIN HOME 28

with special guest Cravin'

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SUNDAY CLASSICAL

KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Handel’s Messiah. 1 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org. KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Messiah Sing-Along. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

FOLK

SONGBYRD MUSIC HOUSE AND RECORD CAFE 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Don Zientara. 9 p.m. $5. songbyrddc.com. UNION STAGE 740 Water St. SW. (877) 987-6487. Good For The Jews. 7 p.m. $20. unionstage.com.

FUNK & R&B

BIRCHMERE 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Luther Re-Lives Holiday Concert featuring William “Smooth” Wardlaw. 7:30 p.m. $45. birchmere.com.

JAZZ

BLUES ALLEY 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Marcus Johnson: Urban Jam Band Holiday Party. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com.

ROCK

PEARL STREET WAREHOUSE 33 Pearl Street SW. (202) 380-9620. Southwest Soul Sessions with Elijah Balbed and Isabelle De Leon. 7:30 p.m. Free. pearlstreetwarehouse.com.

Dogs

22nd Annual

HANK WILLIAMS TRIBUTE SHOW! feat. Cathy Fink & Marcy Marxer, Pete & Maura Kennedy (The Kennedys), Robin & Linda Williams, Patrick McAvinue, Marshall Wilborn

31

New Years Eve with

-8pm-

THE SELDOM SCENE The High & Wides, Ms. Adventure

Jan 4

CHANTÉ MOORE

SCHOONER FARE and BUSKIN & BATTEAU 10 THE S.O.S. BAND 5

11&12

BLUES ALLEY 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Marcus Johnson: Urban Jam Band Holiday Party. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com. 9:30 CLUB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Big Something & Too Many Zooz. 7 p.m. $20. 930.com.

BILL"Honky KIRCHEN & COMMANDER CODY Tonk Holiday Show!"

"Holiday Show feat. William "Smooth" Wardlaw"

I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes. It’s time to watch the oft-maligned ensemble comedy about Christmas in England. Fifteen years after its theatrical release, Love Actually remains an integral part of the holiday movie canon, but with time comes the wisdom that this movie was never all that upbeat in the first place—death, infidelity, and troubled relatives run rampant throughout. Male characters also seem to get what they want without the women they covet getting much of a say in the action. The movie does, however, feature a perfect early aughts soundtrack and some divine performances from immensely talented actors. Watching Dame Emma Thompson unwrap a Joni Mitchell CD instead of a necklace on Christmas Eve is always devastating. Now that you’ve convinced yourself a rewatch of the movie is necessary, pick your screening wisely. Plenty of theaters show Love Actually at this time of year, but the Smithsonian-sponsored event gets you into the American History Museum after hours and comes with a cocktail. That’s a better match than at least half the movie’s pairings. The film screens at 6 p.m. at the Warner Bros. Theater, 14th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. $35. (202) 633-1000. si.edu/theaters/warnerbrostheater. —Caroline Jones

PEARL STREET WAREHOUSE 33 Pearl Street SW. (202) 380-9620. The Nighthawks. 8 p.m. Free. pearlstreetwarehouse.com.

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RICKY SKAGGS & Kentucky Thunder

TRAVIS TRITT 17 THE VENTURES 18, 19,20 EDDIE FROM OHIO w/ Sara Niemietz & Snuffy Walden (18,19), Jake Armerding (20) 15&16

ANGIE STONE 22&23 TOMMY EMMANUEL, CGP & JOHN KNOWLES, CGP 21

“The Heart Songs Tour”

KYLE CEASE of "Baked", 25 TOM PAPA "Live From Here" 26 ATLANTIC STARR 27 THE KINGSTON TRIO 29&30 GAELIC STORM 24

washingtoncitypaper.com december 21, 2018 23


Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductee

RONNIE SPECTOR

CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY

Saturday, March 2, 2019, 8 p.m.

Ronnie Spector and the Ronettes best-loved hits include the Grammy Award-winning “Walking in the Rain,” “Do I Love You,” “Baby I Love You,” “I Can Hear Music,” and the international #1 smash “Be My Baby.”

Tickets are $55 Regular, $50 Faculty/Staff, & $45 Students

Discounted tickets must be purchased in person with valid student or staff ID.

ROBERT E. PARILLA PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Montgomery College • 51 Mannakee Street, Rockville, Maryland 20850 www.montgomerycollege.edu/pac • Box Office: 240-567-5301

VALET & SECURE PARKING aVAILABLE

take your wine to-g0 with growlers & retail wine!

RESTAURANT | BAR | MUSIC VENUE | FULLY FUNCTIONING WINERY | EVENT SPACE

* BECOME A CITY WINERY VINOFILE MEMBER *

EXCLUSIVE PRESALE ACCESS, WAIVED SERVICE FEES, complimentary valet & MORE! DEC 20

DEC 20

DEC 21-22

Chely Wright in the Wine Garden

Lynne Fiddmont

an acoustic & electric evening with

DEC 24

DEC 26

Judy Gold

You’re My Boooyfriend Comedy Tour

in the Wine Garden

DEC 29

w/ B.Simone, Desi Banks, Darren Brand

DEC 31

DEC 22

DEC 23

THE WEEKLINGS Uncorked Comedy America’s Most Unique Touring Tribute to the Music, Spirit & Inspiration of The Beatles

Hosted by Laura Prangley w/ Martin Amini, Kasha Patel, Pearl Rose, Brittany Carney, Herbie Gill

DEC 27-28

DEC 28

DEC 29

Bilal

Proper Utensils ft. Jas. Funk

We Are One Tribute X-Perience Band

los lobos

w/ Special Guest Micah Robinson

DEC 31

JAN 2

JAN 3

PORTRAITS OF THE WORLD: KOREA

On the second floor of the spacious National Portrait Gallery is the second exhibition in a series highlighting the practice of portraiture around the world. Portraits of the World: Korea, which follows the first exhibition dedicated to Switzerland, displays work from pioneering feminist artist Yun Suknam as its centerpiece—a portrait of a Korean woman, Suknam’s mother, in traditional garb with a solemn look in her eyes as she stares straight ahead. The portrait is painted onto three large planks of wood, resembling an upside down “T.” Born in 1939, Suknam lived in an environment where Confucian ideals of female sacrifice were the norm, but she wanted to discover and preserve her sense of self. In 1979, she launched her art career focusing on Korean women who were “lost,” their sense of self lost and erased through marriage and motherhood. Through portraiture, she aimed to find them. The exhibition is on view to Nov. 17, 2019 at the National Portrait Gallery, 8th and F streets NW. Free. (202) 633-8300. npg.si.edu. —Malika T. Benton

ROCK

ton presents Songs of the Season: Christmas with

U STREET MUSIC HALL 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889. The Slackers. 7 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.

Choral Arts. 2 p.m. $15–$69. kennedy-center.org.

MONDAY HOLIDAY Joseph Arthur in the Wine Garden

black alley nye party

in the wine garden

bela dona nye party

J2B2

(John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band)

an evening with

glenn jones

1350 OKIE ST NE, WASHINGTON DC | CITYWINERY.COM/WASHINGTONDC | (202) 250-2531

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KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Choral Arts Society of Washington presents A Family Christmas. 11 a.m. $20–$45. kennedy-center.org. KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Choral Arts Society of Washing-

JAZZ BLUES ALLEY 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. The Jam Before Christmas. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $22. bluesalley.com. KENNEDY CENTER MILLENNIUM STAGE 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Beltway Brass. 12 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.


The Universalist National Memorial Church’s Artists’ Series Presents

CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY

HOME ALONE

Kevin! Home Alone has been one of my favorite movies since I first laid eyes on the chaotic McCallister family and witnessed their young son Kevin’s shenanigans with two bumbling criminals. The performances are great: Macaulay Culkin as an 8-year-old house-defending badass, Catherine O’Hara as a mother raising hell at various airports trying to get home to her son, and of course, Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern as the wonderfully incompetent burglars. It’s a holiday classic. It’s also a filmmaking feat. The first 20 minutes or so of the movie are a terrific bit of storytelling. The camera swirls around the cushy McCallister house, introducing the audience to the major players and family dynamics effortlessly, without much exposition. You see just how a family of 15 leaves one behind, and how the one they left behind becomes the chosen one—a boy who goes from being afraid of old-timey gangster films, knocks on his door, his basement, and his next-door neighbor to being an armed miniature vigilante setting up traps and Rube Goldberg machines to insult, maim, and injure those who come for him and his home. It’s so, so great. This film probably couldn’t exist in its way today. With smartphones, Kevin and his mother could’ve just texted each other. But that’s another thing that makes this movie so special. It’s not just perfect, it’s perfectly ’90s. Keep the change, ya filthy animal. The film screens at 3:30 p.m. at the Warner Bros. Theater, 14th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. $6–$10. (202) 633-1000. si.edu/theaters/warnerbrostheater. —Kayla Randall

CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY

Christmas Eve by Candlelight

An Evening with International Opera Star

DEC 24, 2018 at 8 P.M.

Alessandra Marc Featuring

The UNMC Choir The Maytime Symphonette Alex Chan, Pianist Kathleen McWilliams, Keyboards

FREE CONCERT & RECEPTION

A FREE-WILL OFFERING WILL BE COLLECTED TO DEFRAY ANY COSTS Universalist National Memorial Church 1810 16th Street, N.W. | 202-387-3411

Conducted by Darryl Winston

TICKETS ONLINE AT EVENTBRITE.COM & UNIVERSALIST.ORG/OPERA DAVID GATTON, PASTOR | A DARRYL WINSTON PRODUCTION Free parking will be available behind the Scottish Rite Temple, located diagonally from the church. To access parking, please use the service way on 16th Street between the Chastleton and the Scottish Rite Temple.

From the director of Netflix’s THE CROWN

AN INSPECTOR CALLS By J.B. Priestley

Directed by Stephen Daldry

“HHHHH...a memorable production.” –DC Theatre Scene

“ELEGANT...an evening of many dark and twisting delights.” –The Washington Post

“ASTONISHING...there is no better time to see this production.” –DC Metro Theater Arts

THE JAM BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Jazz and Christmas are both steeped in traditions, so it’s no surprise that there are so many jazz Christmas traditions floating around. One of our local ones, though, has remained quite fresh and fun: the annual reunion of trumpeter Joe Herrera (pictured) and guitarist Rodney Richardson. D.C. native Richardson lives in Chicago these days, but logged some serious time in close collaboration with Herrera before he left in 2012. Since then, however, Richardson’s holiday pilgrimages back to D.C. have included a meetup with Herrera and a musical party that they host together at Blues Alley on Christmas Eve. There’s some tunes, some flat-out jamming (lending the gig its current name, The Jam Before Christmas), and a lot of fun. It may seem a bit out of place compared to that night’s usual Christmas pageants—but it’s a hell of a lot more swinging. Joe Herrera and Rodney Richardson perform at 7 p.m. at Blues Alley, 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. $22. (202) 337-4141. bluesalley.com. —Michael J. West

MUST CLOSE SUNDAY! ORDER TODAY!

ShakespeareTheatre.org | 202.547.1122 Supported by the Harman Family Foundation in honor of the unforgettable Sidney Harman’s 100th birthday. Restaurant Partner:

washingtoncitypaper.com december 21, 2018 25


TATTOO PARADISE ADAMS MORGAN, DC 2444 18th St. NW Washington DC 20009 202.232.6699

WHEATON, MD

2518 W. University Blvd. Wheaton, MD 20902 301.949.0118

CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY

THE ONLY TATTOO SHOP IN ADAMS MORGAN THAT MATTERS

tattooparadisedc.com tattooparadisedc

FOLLOW

ICE! FEATURING A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS

Celebrate Christmas on the Potomac in a Charlie Brown-themed attraction. What could be better? This year, ICE!, Gaylord National’s signature holiday attraction, is back with A Charlie Brown Christmas as its theme. You can wander through scenes of little Charlie discovering the spirit of Christmas with the whole Peanuts gang as the story unfolds through colorful ice sculptures and displays—that’s 2 million pounds of ice, kept at 9 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s so cold that you’ll be provided with a special parka, and Gaylord National recommends that you wear warm shoes, a hat, and gloves. Forty artisans from China hand-carved the ice sculptures, the ice for which arrives in 36 truckloads over a three-week period from an ice factory. But the activities don’t stop at Charlie Brown. There’s ice skating, four two-story ice slides, and a full nativity scene in clear ice to admire. Merry Christmas and happy holidays. The event runs to Jan. 1, 2019 at the Gaylord National Resort & Convention Center, 201 Waterfront St., National Harbor. $27–$38. (301) 965-4000. christmasonthepotomac.com. —Kayla Randall

CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY

UNION STATION HOLIDAY TRAIN

Year after year, holiday standards proclaim that “It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” and shout “Joy to the World.” I challenge those who believe such things to open a newspaper and find me some joy. But during this dreary season of false hope, there is at least one thing that brings the slightest amount of fantasy and joyous escapism to the decrepit reality: the Union Station holiday train. Each year, as a gift from the Norwegian Embassy, a massive model train set is erected in the middle of Union Station’s west hall, as part of the Norwegian Christmas display. Folks, this model train set has it all: three separate rails, a Norwegian fishing village, mountains, bridges, tunnels. But most importantly, it depicts a world that’s much better than the one we currently live in. There’s neighbors helping neighbors, wholesome families skating on a frozen pond, working-class citizens capping off a day’s work before celebrating Christmas. Hell, even the animals in this elaborate diorama are just so goddamn happy. The holiday train is on display to Jan. 5, 2019 at Union Station, 50 Massachusetts Ave. NE. Free. (202) 289-1908. unionstationdc.com. —Matt Cohen

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TUESDAY JAZZ

KENNEDY CENTER MILLENNIUM STAGE 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. All-Star Christmas Day Jazz Jam. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

CLASSICAL

KENNEDY CENTER FAMILY THEATER 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NSO Music for Young Audiences: Timbalooloo Live. 11 a.m.; 1:30 p.m. $20. kennedy-center.org.

HOLIDAY

KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Encore Chorale. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

JAZZ

BLUES ALLEY 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Cyrus Chestnut: Tis the Season. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30 –$35. bluesalley.com. KENNEDY CENTER FAMILY THEATER 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Music for Young Audiences: Timbalooloo Live. 11 a.m.; 1:30 p.m. $20. kennedy-center.org.

WORLD

BOSSA BISTRO 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088. Janeliasoul Acoustic. 10:30 p.m. $10. bossadc.com.

THURSDAY CLASSICAL

KENNEDY CENTER FAMILY THEATER 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NSO Music for Young Audiences: Timbalooloo Live. 11 a.m.; 1:30 p.m. $20. kennedy-center.org.

COUNTRY

9:30 CLUB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Margo Price. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com.

JAZZ

BLUES ALLEY 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Cyrus Chestnut: Tis the Season. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30 –$35. bluesalley.com. UNION STAGE 740 Water St. SW. (877) 987-6487. Ladies in the Day. 8 p.m. $35. unionstage.com.

ROCK

PEARL STREET WAREHOUSE 33 Pearl Street SW. (202) 380-9620. Pleasure Train. 8 p.m. Free. pearlstreetwarehouse.com.

Theater

BEAUTIFUL: THE CAROLE KING MUSICAL This Grammy-winning jukebox musical chronicles Carole King’s rise to stardom, from her partnership with lyricist Gerry Goffin to her successful solo career, using her hit songs including “I Feel The Earth Move” and “You’ve Got A Friend”. National Theatre. 1321 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. To Dec. 30. $54–$114. (202) 628-6161. nationaltheatre.org. ELF In this heartwarming family musical adapted from the film by the same name, a young elf learns of his true identity as a human and travels to New York to find his father while spreading the Christmas cheer. Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney. To Jan. 6. $37–$84. (301) 9243400. olneytheatre.org. GEM OF THE OCEAN This Timothy Douglas-directed production of August Wilson’s Tony-nominated play is the first in a ten-play series that dramatizes the African American experience. Set at the turn of the century in Pittsburgh’s Hill District, it centers on a young man who arrives at the house of 285-yearold soothsayer Aunt Ester in search of redemption. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda. To Dec. 23. $36–$51. (240) 6441100. roundhousetheatre.org. INDECENT Pulitzer Prize-winner Paula Vogel’s deeply moving play tells the story of the Yiddish drama God of Vengeance, a work deemed “indecent” for themes of censorship, immigration and antisemitism when it premiered on Broadway in 1923, and the true story of the creators that risked their careers to bring it to the

VIRGINIA

COALITION

W/ TIMMIE METZ BAND FRIDAY DEC 21

YELLOW DUBMARINE

W/ THE FUSS

SATURDAY

DEC 22

WED, DEC 26

AN EVENING WITH

LIVE AT THE FILLMORE: THE DEFINITIVE TRIBUTE TO THE ORIGINAL ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND THURS, DEC 27

BEN WILLIAMS PRESENTS HIS 7TH ANNUAL BIRTHDAY BASH A HOLIDAY MUSICAL EXTRAVAGANZA FRI, DEC 28

NRBQ W/ DHARMASOUL SAT, DEC 29

START MAKING SENSE A TALKING HEADS TRIBUTE W/ QIET

SAT, JAN 5

ALL GOOD PRESENTS SCYTHIAN W/ KENTUCKY AVENUE SUN, JAN 6

Photos by Matthew Murphy

WEDNESDAY

AN EVENING WITH DAN

AYKROYD, JUDITH BELUSHI & MUSICAL DIRECTOR PAUL SHAFFER

“THE OFFICIAL BLUES BROTHERS™ REVUE”

PRESENT

WED, JAN 9

LIVE NATION PRESENTS

ASHLEY McBRYDE

THE GIRL GOING NOWHERE TOUR W/ SPECIAL GUEST DEE WHITE

CELEBRATE NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH

THE BRIDGE FEATURING CRIS JACOBS

SUN DEC 30 W/ RON HOLLOWAY BAND

MON, DEC 31 W/ THE TRONGONE BAND +MOONSHINE SOCIETY IN THE LOFT DEC 31

Seats just released. Act now!

Now thru January 6 Eisenhower Theater Groups call (202) 416-8400

Kennedy-Center.org

For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540

(202) 467-4600

Theater at the Kennedy Center is made possible by

Kennedy Center Theater Season Sponsor

THEHAMILTONDC.COM washingtoncitypaper.com december 21, 2018 27


CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY

MARGO PRICE

HELP ADVANCE HIV RESEARCH

The NIH Vaccine Research Center is looking for people living with HIV in the DC-area to participate in a clinical trial. The study will evaluate an investigational product that targets the HIV virus. You may be eligible if you: • Are living with HIV and between the ages of 18 and 60 • Are taking HIV medication

Financial compensation will be provided. To volunteer, call 1-866-833-5433 (TTY 1-866-411-1010), email vaccines@nih.gov, or visit www.niaid.nih.giv/about/vrc.

When the 2019 Grammy nominees were announced earlier this month, there was a head-scratcher in the Best New Artist category: Amid a slate mostly comprised of 20-something pop and R&B singers was Margo Price. Not that she doesn’t deserve the accolade, but Price isn’t new to this. After toiling in the Nashville scene for years, Price broke out on her own in 2016 with Midwest Farmer’s Daughter, an album full of traditional country made modern. With influences like Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn, and Emmylou Harris, Price sang and strummed her way through songs about personal tragedies, a foreclosed family farm, and lost weekends in the Davidson County Jail. That album topped the country charts, as did last year’s All American Made, another album that mixes honky-tonk stompers with ballads that contemplate alcoholism, the road life, gender disparities, and even “cocaine cowboys.” “Sometimes I’m Virginia Woolf, sometimes I’m James Dean, sometimes I’m my only friend and my own worst enemy,” she sings on “Weakness.” She’s all those things and more, and while she isn’t a “new artist” per se, she can more than hang with pop music’s brightest young things. Margo Price performs at 7 p.m. at 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $25. (202) 265-0930. 930.com. —Chris Kelly

Se habla español.

AFRICAN STUDY A study at NIH is recruiting healthy black African men and women to understand diabetes and heart disease risk in Africans.

stage. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Dec. 30. $56– $76. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

Amber Heard and Patrick Wilson. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

AN INSPECTOR CALLS Stephen Daldry’s Olivier-winning production of J.B. Priestley’s An Inspector Calls, hailed as a staple of modern British theatre, comes to D.C. Set on one night in 1912, the play tells the story of an upper-class British family who is visited by a mysterious inspector seeking details about a workingclass woman who committed suicide. Sidney Harman Hall. 610 F St. NW. To Dec. 23. $44–$102. (202) 5471122. shakespearetheatre.org.

BUMBLEBEE Bumblebee, a Transformer now on the run in the 1980s, hides out in a beach town and befriends a teenage girl named Charlie. Starring Hailee Steinfeld, John Cena, and Dylan O’Brien. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

KINGS Two D.C. congresswomen with differing approaches clash in this sharp new comedy by Alexandria native Sarah Burgess, directed by Marti Lyons. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To Jan. 6. $25–$55. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org. MISS SAIGON From the creators of Les Miserables comes this classic, Tony-winning Broadway spectacle. When a young Vietnamese woman encounters an American G.I. in a Vietnam bar at the height of the war, their lives are forever changed. Kennedy Center Opera House. 2700 F St. NW. To Jan. 13. $49–$175. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

Were You Born In Africa? Must Be: • Born in Africa • 18-65 years old • Requires 3 visits • Compensation provided • Refer to study # 99-DK-0002

Please call (301) 402-7119 • http://clinicaltrials.gov Department of Health and Human Services • National Institutes of Health • National Institute of Diabetes & Digestive & Kidney Diseases

28 december 21, 2018 washingtoncitypaper.com

THE PANTIES, THE PARTNER AND THE PROFIT Playwright David Ives adapts and translates Carl Sternheim’s German comedic trilogy Scenes from the Heroic Life of the Middle Class into one play in this Michael Kahn-directed production. Lansburgh Theatre. 450 7th St. NW. To Jan. 6. $44–102. (202) 5471122. shakespearetheatre.org. THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG Broadway and London’s smash hit comedy arrives at the Kennedy Center. The Play That Goes Wrong centers on the fictional Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater. 2700 F St. NW. To Dec. 31. $49–$149. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

Film

AQUAMAN Jason Momoa stars as Arthur Curry, who learns he is the true heir and future king of the underwater kingdom of Atlantis and must lead. Co-starring

CAPERNAUM In Lebanon, a hardened 12-year-old boy sues his abusive parents for their negligence. Starring Zain Al Rafeea, Yordanos Shiferaw, and Boluwatife Treasure Bankole. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) MARY POPPINS RETURNS Magical nanny Mary Poppins returns to the Banks home decades after her first visit to help the now adult Banks children through hardship. Starring Emily Blunt, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Ben Whishaw. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) THE MULE Facing foreclosure on his business, an elderly man becomes a successful drug mule for a Mexican cartel, which draws the attention of law enforcement. Starring Clint Eastwood, Bradley Cooper, and Taissa Farmiga. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) SECOND ACT A superstore assistant manager sets out to prove street smarts can be as valuable as book smarts when she loses out on a promotion and must reinvent herself. Starring Jennifer Lopez, Milo Ventimiglia, and Vanessa Hudgens. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE Brooklyn teenager Miles Morales becomes the Spider-Man of his reality and then crosses paths with counterparts from other universes, with the group joining forces to fight a universal threat. Starring Shameik Moore, Jake Johnson, and Hailee Steinfeld. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) WELCOME TO MARWEN A man, after suffering a brutal attack, creates his own fantasy world art installation to help him heal. Starring Steve Carell, Leslie Mann, and Janelle Monae. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information)


SAVAGELOVE I’m a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for me—specifically, submissive guys into face-sitting. I’m submissive myself, and face-sitting is not a turn-on for me. But the vast majority of men who hit on me have this fetish. I think it’s a size-related issue—a my-size-related issue. I’m a full-figured/curvy woman with a big butt. Granted, it’s a fabulous butt, but my butt sends the wrong signals, apparently. I’ve tried several times to word my FetLife and other dating profiles so that I’ll attract dominant men, but the messages from submissive wannabe face-sittees pour in. Dating when you’re not thin is hard enough. Help, please. —Baby Got Back You’ve worded your dating profiles to attract Doms, BGB, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve worded your profiles to repel—and crush the hopes of—submissive wannabe face-sittees. Let’s fix that: “I get a lot of messages from submissive guys into face-sitting. I’ve got a great butt, I realize, but I’m a sub. I’m not into face-sitting, and I only want to hear from Dom guys.” Some submissive guys will message you anyway—guys who will be letting you know they have a hard time taking no for an answer, BGB, so not guys you’d ever want to meet up with IRL. Delete their messages and block their profiles. —Dan Savage While having sex one night with my girlfriend, I pulled out a vibrator for the first time. She asked whether I (a guy) had used it with a previous partner (another woman). I conceded that I had. She refused to let me use it on her on the grounds that it had already been inside someone else. I pointed out that since I am not a virgin, her objection did not seem principled: My penis has been in someone else and she lets me put that in her. Nevertheless, she remained adamant. Do you think she was being reasonable? —Very Interested Boyfriend Enquires I do not, VIBE, but since you don’t want to stick your old vibrator in me—presumably— what I think is irrelevant. When it comes to who gets to stick what in our bodies, we’re allowed to be arbitrary, inconsistent, capricious, and even illogical. That’s why “But my dick has been in other women and you let me stick that in you!” isn’t quite the slam-dunk argument you think it is. So toss that old vibrator and get yourself a new one—but save the packaging so you can pass it off as new with your next girlfriend. —DS My cousin was a victim of revenge porn. A bitter ex-boyfriend of his sent several videos they’d made to everyone on my cousin’s contact list, including me. I’m a straight woman who prefers gay

When it comes to who gets to stick what in our bodies, we’re allowed to be arbitrary, inconsistent, capricious, and even illogical. That’s why “But my dick has been in other women and you let me stick that in you!” isn’t quite the slam-dunk argument you think it is. male porn, and my cousin and his ex are beautiful men—they’re both dancers—and I couldn’t help myself: I watched the videos, more than once, before deleting them. So how bad a person am I? —Sick And Wrong You’re a better person than the asshole ex who sent those videos to everyone your poor cousin knows, SAW, but a worse person than those who deleted the videos without wanking over them first. —DS Your life is a monstrous affront to God, and your life’s work, your ridiculous “advice” column, encourages people to act on their worst impulses. Advice column? Take the “D” away! You write A VICE column! I was involved in the gay life once, Mr. Savage, but the love of Jesus delivered me from homosexual sin. Embrace Christ, and you too can be delivered. I pray for you every day. Someone has to. —Christ Even Saves Savages P.S. I have read what you’ve written about your mother, who you claim to have loved. Your mother died relatively young. I’m not suggesting God punished you by cutting your mother’s life short. No, your mother died of shame. You pray for me, CESS, and I’ll gay for you— because all the delicious dicks you left behind when Jesus raptured you out of homosexual sin aren’t gonna suck themselves, are they? P.S. “Jesus is love,” my Catholic mother liked

to say. If she was right, CESS, he surely finds the things going into my mouth less offensive than the shit coming out of yours. —DS I’ve been toying with the idea of having a sub provide domestic services, but all the potential subs I’ve met with haven’t seemed like a good fit for various reasons. Last night, I had a first meeting with a man who is a good fit on paper but who turned out to be an obnoxious asshole in person—a misogynistic, mansplaining frat-boy type. Can someone be too much of a dick for you to let them do your laundry? —Sub Is Subhuman If you wouldn’t be in a vanilla relationship with someone, SIS, why would you want to be in a D/s relationship with them? —DS I’ve been in a lesbian relationship for about two years. Recently, I was listening to your podcast, and you were talking about the Big / little kink. I remember thinking my girlfriend could be into that. Today, my girlfriend texted this to me: “I want you to hold me like a child, rock me to sleep, and tuck me in and kiss my forehead.” I almost asked her right then if she was into Big /little play, but then I realized that I’m not sure what I would do if she said yes. If she came to me and said, “Hey, I’m into this stuff !” I would consider it. But I am not into this stuff—not independently—or at least I don’t think so. My question is this: If you suspect your partner is into something that you’re not into, should you leave it alone? I feel like maybe the GGG thing to do is to ask her and offer to explore it if she says yes. —Wanna Be GGG Are you sure you’re not curious about Big/ little play, aka age play? Because it sounds like you might be. If you are, don’t project your interests/kinks onto your girlfriend. Just ask her if she might be interested. If you aren’t into Big/little play but think she might be, the same advice applies: Just ask her. —DS My boyfriend of three years has not left his wife for me, even though he says he will someday. He doesn’t want to hurt her. He feels a duty to her. But he loves me more and swears he will leave her someday. In the meantime, we carve out half an hour a week for sex and it’s super hot. Two questions (and please answer honestly): He’s not going to leave her, is he? And I’m a cliché, aren’t I? —Don’t Understand Men No, he isn’t. And yes, you are. DTMFA. —DS Email your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.

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school year. In an atLegals tempt to make data driven decisions about DC SCHOLARS PCS REQUEST the service delivery FOR PROPOSALS – Modumodels, staff utilization, lar Contractor Services - DC interventions, and School Scholars Public Charter academic student solicits proposals for a modular growth, has contractor toHaynes provide professional decided to incorporate management and construction services to constructand a modular an independent building to house four classrooms wide-ranging approach andassessing one faculty offi ce special suite. The to our Request for and Proposals (RFP) education English specifi cations can be obtained on Language Learning and after Monday, November 27, programming and via com2017 from Emily Stone compliance within Stumunityschools@dcscholars.org. dent Support Services All questions should be sent in Department writing by e-mail.by Noconductphone calls regarding this RFPreview. will be acing a program cepted. Bids must be received by Following a detailed 5:00 PM on Thursday,of December market analysis the 14, 2017 at firms DC Scholars available with Public Charter School, ATTN: expertise in theseSharonda areas, Mann, 5601 E. Capitol St. SE, it was clear Washington, DCthat 20019.only Any bids oneaddressing provider,allAmerican not areas as outEducational Consultants, lined in the RFP specifi cations will hadbethe qualifications not considered. and offerings to meet our complete programApartments for Rent matic needs. If you have questions or concerns regarding this notice, please contact our Procurement Officer: Kristin Yochum E.L. Haynes Public Charter School kyochum@elhaynes.org Must DC see! Public SpaciousCharter semi-furThe nished 1 Board BR/1 BA(DC basement School apt, Deanwood, Sep. PCSB) gives$1200. notice of entrance, W/W carpet, W/D, kitchconditional approval of en, fireplace near Blue Line/X9/ LEARN DC’s new charter V2/V4. Shawnn 240-343-7173. school application. A public hearing was Rooms for Rent held at DC PCS’s board meeting on October Holiday SpecialTwo 15, fur2018, rooms and the voteorocnished for short long curred on($900 November term rental and $80019, per 2018. month) The with school access plans to W/D, WiFi, Kitchen, andyear Den. Utilito open school ties included. Best N.E. location 2021-2022. The mission along H St. Corridor. Eddie of LEARN CharterCall School 202-744-9811 for info. or visit Network is to provide www.TheCurryEstate.com children with the academic foundation and ambition to earn a college degree. If you have questions or comments, please contact 202-3282660 or applications@ dcpcsb.org.

SUPERIOR COURT Construction/Labor OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION 2018 ADM 001373 Name of Decedent, Frank Wang AKA Frank Xiaohang Wang. Name POWER DESIGN NOW HIRand of Attorney, INGAddress ELECTRICAL APPRENTICES ALL SKILL Lisa W. OF Wang, 5431LEVELS! Pl NW, Washington, 30th DC 20015. Notice of about the position… Appointment, Notice to Do you love Creditors andworking Noticewith to your hands? Are you interUnknown Heirs, Lisa and W. ested in construction Wang, whose in becoming an address electrician?is 5431 30th Pl NW, WashThen the electrical apprentice ington, 20015 wasfor position DC could be perfect appointed Personal Repyou! Electrical apprentices are able to earn a paycheck resentative of the estate and full benefi ts while learnof Frank Wang AKA ing theXiaohang trade through firstFrank Wang handdied experience. who on September

26, 2018, with a Will what we’re looking for… and will serve without Motivated D.C. residents who Court Supervision. All want to learn the electrical unknown heirs and heirs trade and have a high school whose diplomawhereabouts or GED as wellare as reliable transportation. unknown shall enter their appearance in this a little bit aboutObjections us… proceeding. is one of the toPower suchDesign appointment (or top electrical contractors in to the probate of dethe U.S., committed to our cedent’s values, to Will) trainingshall and to be givfiled withtothe Register ing back the communities ofinWills, D.C., 515 5th which we live and work. Street, N.W., Building A,more 3rddetails… Floor, WashingVisitD.C.powerdesigninc.us/ ton, 20001, on or careers or email careers@ before 6/6/2019. Claims powerdesigninc.us! against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a copy toFinancial the Register of Services Wills or to the Register Denied Work to of WillsCredit?? with a copy to Repair Credit Report on WithorThe the Your undersigned, Trusted Leader in CreditorRepair. before 6/6/2019, be Call Lexington Law Persons for a FREE forever barred. credit report summary & credit believed to be heirs or repair consultation. 855-620legatees the decedent 9426. John of C. Heath, Attorney at who do not a Law Law, PLLC, dbareceive Lexington copy of this notice by Firm. mail within 25 days of its publication shall so Services inform theHome Register of Wills, including name, Dish Network-Satellite address and relation-Television Services. Now Over 190 ship. Date of first publichannels for ONLY $49.99/mo! cation: 12/6/2018 HBO-FREE for one year, FREE Name of Newspaper Installation, FREE Streaming, and/or periodical: FREE HD. Add Internet for $14.95 City Paper/ aWashington month. 1-800-373-6508 Daily Washington Law

Reporter Name of Person Auctions Representative: Lisa W. Wang TRUE TEST copy Anne Meister Register of Wills Pub Dates: December 6, 13, 20. KIPP DC PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOLS REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS Whole Foods Commissary AuctionCondition AsFacility DC Metro Area sessment (FCA) Dec. DC 5 at 10:30AM KIPP is soliciting 1000s S/Sfrom Tables, Carts proposals qualified & Trays, 2016 Kettles up vendors for Facility to 200 Gallons, Urschel Condition Cutters &Assessment Shredders inServices. The RFP can cluding 2016 Diversacut be2110 found on 6KIPP DC’s Dicer, Chill/Freeze website at www.kipCabs, Double Rack Ovens & Ranges, (12) Braising pdc.org/procurement. Tables, 2016 (3+) Stephan Proposals should be VCMs, to 30+ Scales, uploaded the website Hobart 80 qt Mixers, no later than 5:00 PM Complete Machine Shop, EST, on January 10, and much more! View the 2019. can be catalogQuestions at addressed to jason.ray@ www.mdavisgroup.com or kippdc.org. 412-521-5751 TWO RIVERS PUBLIC Garage/Yard/ CHARTER SCHOOL Rummage/Estate Sales REQUESTS FOR PROPOSALS Flea Market every Fri-Sat For EST Fire 10am-4pm. 5615 Panel Landover Rd. System Replacement Cheverly, MD. 20784. Can buy Two Rivers PCS invites in bulk. Contact 202-355-2068 all interested for and or 301-772-3341 details or if intrested in being a vendor. qualified companies to submit proposals to replace existing EST Fire Panel System. Proposals are due no later than 2:00 PM January 10, 2019. The RFP with bidding requirements can be obtained by emailing procurement@tworiverspcs.org. TWO RIVERS PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS Executive Search Firm Two Rivers is seeking to procure the services of an Executive Search Firm capable of conducting a search for candidates qualified to serve in executive- and director-level roles.

For a copy of the RFP, Miscellaneous please email procurement@tworiverspcs.org. NEW COOPERATIVE SHOP! DC SCHOLARS PUBLIC FROM EGPYT THINGS CHARTER SCHOOL AND BEYOND REQUEST 240-725-6025FOR PROPOSALS - Fiber Internet Serwww.thingsfromegypt.com vices - Notice is hereby thingsfromegypt@yahoo.com given that DC Scholars Public SOUTH Charter AFRICAN School BAZAAR Craft Cooperative has released Request 202-341-0209 for Proposals (RFP) for www.southafricanbazaarcraftcoo Fiber Internet services. perative.com Details and service levsouthafricanba z a ar @hotmail. els are identified within com the formal posted RFPs. Interested WEST FARM Respondents WOODWORKS must E-rate Customhave Creativean Furniture SPIN number and 202-316-3372 info@westfarmwoodworks.com abide by the response www.westfarmwoodworks.com directions in accordance with the RFPs and sup7002 Carroll Avenue porting documentation. Takoma Park, MD 20912 Complete responses Mon-Sat 11am-7pm, must be received on or Sun 10am-6pm before 12:00 PM EST on Motorcycles/Scooters January 17, 2019. To receive a copy of the RFPs view the website 2016 Suzuki TU250X for sale. 1200 miles. CLEAN. Just and serwww.intelafunds.net viced. Comes with biketab cover select the “E-Rate” and Asking $3000 thensaddlebags. “Bid Opportunities” Cash thenonly. select the RFP/ Call 202-417-1870 M-F between service quote requests 6-9PM, or weekends. documents of interest posted for this school.

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SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION 2018 ADM 1360 Name of Decedent, Joseph Watson. Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Get Wit It Productions: ProfesUnknown Heirs, Paul sional sound and lighting availWatson, whose address able for club, corporate, private, is 1219 Durham Dr, wedding receptions, holiday Bowie, Md 20721 was events and much more. Insured, appointed Personal competitive rates. Call (866) 531Representative of thefor a 6612 Ext 1, leave message estate ofcall Joseph ten-minute back, orWatson book onwho on October line at:died agetwititproductions.com 9, 2018, without a Will and will serve without Announcements Court Supervision. All unknown heirs -and heirs Announcements Hey, all you lovers of erotic and bizarre whose whereabouts romantic fi ction! Visit www. are unknown shall nightlightproductions.club and enter their appearsubmit in your stories to me Happy ance this proceedHolidays! James K. West ing. Objections to such wpermanentwink@aol.com

appointment shall be Events filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., 515 5th ChristmasN.W., in Silver Spring Street, Building Saturday, December 2, 2017 A, 3rd Floor, WashingVeteran’s Plaza ton, D.C. 20001, on or 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. before 6/6/2019. Claims Come celebrate Christmas in against decedent the heart ofthe Silver Spring at our shall be presented to PlaVendor Village on Veteran’s the undersigned with aarts za. There will be shopping, copy to the Register and crafts for kids, picturesofwith Santa, music and entertainment Wills or to the Register to spread cheer andto more. of Willsholiday with a copy Proceeds from the market the undersigned, on orwill provide a “wish” toy for children before 6/6/2019, or be in need. Join us at your one stop forever barred. Persons shop for everything Christmas. believed be heirscontact or For more to information, legatees of the decedent Futsum, who do not receive a or info@leadersinstitutemd.org copy of this notice by call 301-655-9679 mail within 25 days of General its publication shall so inform the Register of Lookingincluding to Rent yard space for Wills, name, hunting dogs. address andAlexandria/Arlingrelationton, VA area only. Medium sized ship. Date of first publidogs will be well-maintained in cation: 12/6/2018 temperature controled dog housName ofadvanced Newspaper es. I have animal care and/or periodical: experience and dogs will be rid Washington City free of feces, flies, urinePaper/ and oder. Dogs will be in a ventilated kennel Daily Washington Law so they will not be exposed to winReporter ter and harsh weather Repreetc. Space Name of Person will be needed Paul as soon as possisentative: Watson ble. YardTEST for dogs must be Metro TRUE copy accessible. Serious callers only, Anne Meister call anytime Kevin, 415- 846Register 5268. Price of Neg.Wills Pub Dates: December 6, 13, 20. Counseling MAKE THE CALL TO START GETTING CLEAN TODAY. Free 24/7 Helpline forVirginia alcohol & drug 1916 West addiction Get help! Ave NEtreatment. DC 3 bdrm 2 It is time to take your life back! Call bath, totally renovated Now: 855-732-4139 unit, hardwood floors, porcelain bathroom AdopPregnant? Considering floors. heat expenstion? CallForced us first. Living es, housing, medical, and continand AC. $2500/month ued support afterwards. including water. All Choose other adoptive of your choice. utilities family not included. No Call 24/7. pets, 1 877-362-2401. year lease and $2500 security deposit. jeromeswalker@yahoo. com 4008 Kansas Ave #4, Washington, D.C. 20011 Available for rent. Apply at www.RentalsRock.com Call 240-342-6435 for viewings


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