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MPLS Desserts + PLUS + Pistols, Physicians, and Politics Drones Are Your Friends Us vs. Monsanto

vol. 12 | issue 10 February 25 - march 10






inside Walter library, or possibly browsed the content online through our website, then the plethora of tasty treats on the cover surely got your mouth watering. I'm not saying that this issue was particularly difficult to work with, but when none of the best cinnamon rolls in Minneapolis are near our Stadium Village office you start to imagine yourself setting off like Frodo and Sam to Mordor to get some delicious pastries. Well...

Then, shout out to Derrik, Kelly, Andres and all the other people who made yesterday's trip to Trollhaugen for the Ski Snowboard Club happen. I'm in pain all over but it was a blast. Lastly, TO YOU READER! Enjoy this issue—it's delicious.

That happens to be exactly what our Wake staff did. In the name of The Wake, all of you readers, and not to mention a sweet tooth or two, a handful of Wakers headed off into the known and determined the best cinnamon roll eats in the city. If you're a dessert lover like me then I suggest you take a look at the feature to get the inside scoop on where to pick these tasty devils up. Also, since this is my first letter from the editor I just want to give a shout out to some people: Dear Reader, What's up? During the production of this issue I spent most of the work day drooling over the content—specifically the dessert feature. If you picked up this little publication on, say, the rack




Production Manager

Alex Lauer

Sean Quinn

Managing Editor

Graphic Designers

Cities Editor

The Wake Student Magazine 126 Coffman Memorial Union 300 Washington Avenue SE


Next, today (Feb 24th) is my Grandma's 70th birthday so...

Alyssa Bluhm

Established in 2002, The Wake is a fortnightly independent magazine and registered student organization produced by and for the students of the University of Minnesota.

Production Manager

First off, thank you Jackie for giving me a ride to class everyday. It's on the way so it isn't that hard but I appreciate it. PS. I really do love Rory.


©2009 The Wake Student Magazine. All rights reserved.

Sean Quinn

Sara Glesne

Business Business Manager Chee Xiong

Sean Quinn, Katie Schalow, Sondra Vine

Advertising Manager Matthew Cermak

Art Director

Advisory Board

Dan Forke

Voices Editor Justin Miller

James DeLong, Kevin Dunn, Courtney Lewis, Eric Price, Morgan Mae Schultz, Kay Steiger, Mark Wisser

Social Media Manager Tara Mrachek

Sound & Vision Editor

Web Editor

Zach McCormick

Sam Gordon

Obituaries Editor Kelsey Schwartz

Staff Writers Courtney Bade, Tommy Finney, Tyler Lauer, Logan Wroge

Minneapolis, MN 55455 The Wake was founded by Chris Ruen and James DeLong. The Wake is published with support from Campus Progress/Center for American Progress (online at

DISCLAIMER the purpose of the Wake is to provide a forum in which students can voice their opinions. opinions expressed in the magazine are not representative of the publication or university as a whole. to join the conversation email alauer@

This Issue Cover Artist

Sondra Vine and Shonna Korsmoe

Photographers Courtney Bade, Caitlyn Bell, Molly Doyle, Anna Egelhoff, Kara Hakanson, Shonna Korsmoe, Alex Lauer, Zach McCormick, Katie Schalow, A.J. Schara, Sean Quinn

Illustrators John Barnett, Jon Dedecker, Dan Forke, Sam Lindsay, Peter Whiteman, Jennifer Yelk

Contributing Writers Courntey Bade, Sarah Barchus, Grace Birnstengel, Alyssa Bluhm, Herbert B. Ferguson-Augustus, Tommy Finney, Cassidy Godfrey, Molly Goin, Molly Green, Jerod Greenisen, Kara Hakanson, Arnav Joshi, Alex Lauer, Tyler Lauer, Kayla McCombs Zach McCormick, Kelcie McKenney, Sean McSteen, Justin Miller, Sam Schaust, Kelsey Schwartz, Logan Wroge

What's Inside? Many Hands Make Lite Work p. 4 Making the Most of Student Services Fees p. 5 Pistols, Physicians, and Politics p. 6 Drones Are Your Friends p. 8 MPLS Desserts Feature p. 11-13 The All-Time Greatest Valentine's Mix p. 14 Q&A: Fury Things p. 16-17 Playing With Fire (And Other Things) p. 18 Three Reviews p. 21


Many Hands Make Lite Work

The St. Paul Foundation’s search for bright ideas begins By Sarah Barchus

Waiting on pins and needles (and pegs), the crowd that was clustered in the dimmed St. Paul Union Depot watched as two hands, one little and one larger, united in the effort to flip a giant red switch to illuminate what was hoped to be the new Guinness World Record Lite Brite picture. The picture, designed to capture the community’s eye and imagination, serves as a symbolic centerpiece for the Forever St. Paul Challenge. The St. Paul Foundation is asking people what they would do with $1 million to strengthen the St. Paul community. Carleen Rhodes, the St. Paul Foundation president and CEO, explained that they are using a special one-time donation from the bipartisan Republican National Convention host committee to engage in “an original effort to reach out even more naturally to get good ideas” on how to improve St. Paul.

“This is the most important and special thing I’ve done so far,” Aiken said. “The whole design is about community… that made it into something I didn’t even expect.” Around 600 volunteers, ranging in age, gender, ethnicity, vocation, and physical ability, pinned pegs into the 12-by24 foot backlit board, adding their own small details to the design, the Pioneer Press reported. Rhodes anticipates the contest will inspire a wide range of ideas for improving St. Paul from the practical to the whimsical. Her 5-year-old granddaughter said that with $1 million she would buy a puppy, or maybe puppies for lots of people (Rhodes said that they aren’t going to enter that idea. Sorry dog lovers!). Rhodes said that someone joked that we should put a dome over the city in winter, but she refused to name the genius. By May, a panel of independent reviewers will select the top 25 ideas and in August the most promising three will be put up to public vote. The winner will receive $1 million to implement his or her idea. But on that Saturday night, the million-dollar question on everyone’s mind was if the picture in front of them had broken the world record.

An official Guinness World Record judge laid out the rules: The picture has to be lit. Deputy Mayor Paul Williams and 9-year-old volunteer Melissa R. gave the foundation a hand with that by flipping the switch. (Check.) All the holes must be filled. (Check.) The picture must be recognizable. (Check.) It must contain at least three different colors. (Check.)

The whole design is about community… that made it into something I didn’t even expect. But was the picture made from enough pegs? With over 596,000 pegs used, all of the pieces fell into place. Check and mate. Breaking the world record paled in comparison to the project’s bigger picture. When individuals, such as the participants of the St. Paul Forever contest, come together and plug into their community, the city is what truly shines. The picture will be on display at the Union Depot through February 28 and all are encouraged to enter their ideas of how to strengthen the St. Paul community at MNIdeaOpen. org/foreversaintpaul.

“This is the first step to dive deeper into the community,” Rhodes said. “And it’s fun!” Fun was central to Saturday’s free kickoff event. Jumbo Jenga, colossal checkers and other oversized games entertained the kids and transported adults back to their childhoods. The various venders provided food for thought and lively performances served as creative inspiration. Creativity was evident in the pixelated, Picasso-like picture: dreamed up by foundation consultant Laura Mylan and designed by award-winning St. Paul artist Ta-coumba T. Aiken. Aiken’s signature rhythmic style can be seen in over 300 murals and public sculptures, according to his website. Aiken said that out of all the projects he has worked on, this one sticks out. CAITLYN BELL


february 25 - march 10


Try it! You might like it!

Find a new study spot, get out of your comfort zone By Kara Hakanson

Did you munch on a panini at Publika? Or brave it and chew on some pearls in your bubble tea? This week I’m bringing back the classic college coffee house atmosphere. Seriously. This spot is in an old frat house. Can you get more college-esque? LOCATION: BORDERTOWN Its name is a whisper in the wind. You hear it while walking around campus and yet you don’t really know what everyone is talking about—or where it is for that matter. Well, this secret place, Bordertown, exists and if you’ve never been there because you couldn’t find it, don’t be embarrassed. We were all that person at one point in our pre-Bordertown lives. Really the only clue you have of its location is a tiny sign just off the sidewalk on 16th Avenue SE. Thinking you must

Making the Most of Your Student Service Fees If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em By Grace Birnstengel

When scanning through my most recent tuition statement, it came to my attention that college students are unknowingly charged for services that they either aren’t aware of, do not take advantage of, or both. Students enrolled in six or more credits get an additional $736.58 slapped onto their already outrageous tuition bill yearly for Student Service Fees. Some of these services provide more of a service than others. Here are a few of them to take advantage of in order to utilize the “free” resources you have as a student: • Participate in the campus election this spring. You pay a whopping 8¢ a year for the All-Campus Elections Commis sion to put on elections for Student Body President, Student

be at the wrong place because all you see is an old house? That’s it. Bordertown is filled with perfect spots to hang out for a while. There are lots of tables, two big club chairs, and a giant couch that is so comfy and squishy I almost lost a friend in it. With big windows to let in natural light, you can appreciate the beauty of the old house and thank Dumbledore that frat boys don’t inhabit it, spilling cheap beer everywhere. Need to get some nutrients besides caffeine? Bordertown has you covered. You can get a half or whole sandwich with chips or fruit, some soup, and if you’re lucky, you can snag the last slice of a quiche (pronounced keesh, if you haven’t studied French). I’ve been trying to avoid coffee lately, so their extensive tea list caught my attention. The green mango tea is the only one I’ve tried, and with a little honey, c’était parfait! If you’re aiming for something sweeter, you really can’t go wrong with their hot chocolate. And while you’re tending to your sweet tooth, try one of their baked goods like the blueberry muffin. Now go put your adventure boots on and come find Bordertown.

315 16th Ave SE Minneapolis, MN 55414 KARA HAKANSON

Senate, and other referendums. The election is April 8—10. Get out and exercise your voting rights! • Attend a yoga session at Boynton Health Services. We each pay $235.84 a year to Boynton; do not let this go to waste. Classes are held throughout the week and focus on stress management. You will not regret spending an hour of your week forgetting about homework to get in touch with your body and mind. • Tune into Radio K. Our award-winning campus radio station has so much to offer you and your music needs. You pay $5.92 a year to keep them up and running. Some of my favorite segments are Culture Queue on Sunday nights, and Rock and Roll Over on weekday mornings formerly hosted by The Wake’s very own Zach McCormick. • Go sit in a sauna at the Rec on the East Bank. If you’ve never been in a sauna, it’s an extremely humid room with wooden walls and benches where you can relax, rejuvenate, and improve blood circulation by getting your heart rate up. For $151.08 a year to use the Recreational Center facilities, you’ve got to try this at least once.

• If you tend to get a little crazy on the weekends and don’t trust yourself to get home safely, call 612-388-6911 to have an essentially free taxi service take you to and from anywhere on campus (besides to another bar…). This “Gopher Chauffer” costs us each $1.68 a year. • Make an appointment with a learning abroad advisor or just explore the fancy interactive learning abroad website for possibilities. Even if you’re not planning on studying abroad, you should get to know the opportunities available to you. After all, we each pay $2.86 a year for this service alone. Who knows, maybe you’ll be studying environmental issues in Auckland, New Zealand next year. Remember, do not limit yourself to these six services. The next time you take a look at your tuition bill, make it a priority to get your money’s worth from this University. You pay the big bucks; you deserve it. If you happen to discover any great, hidden, and free resource the U has to offer, let us know! @the_wake / /



Taking Knitting Out of the Rest Home Yarn Art Makes a Comeback By Cassidy Godfrey Thousands of us walk across the Washington Avenue Bridge to get to and from class every day. No doubt your eyes wander to all of the tiles painted by the current year’s student unions and activities groups, and perhaps some of them spark your interest. Now, I’m a 70 year-old at heart, so the Knitting For Peace tile sparked mine. Knitting For Peace co-chair Michelle Brecke shared some information about the group with me while sporting a self-made knit earband. In her hands was a cup of jasmine green tea wrapped in a knit coffee sleeve, also self-made. She explains that the group’s mission is to make use of their crafting skills by donating knitted items to local, national, and international charities. The charities vary from semester to semester; right now they are crafting hats, scarves, and other winter wear to donate to Twin Cities homeless shelters. How does the group decide who to help? ”It depends on what the members want,” Brecke said. “This semester we’re working with homeless shelters. Next semester we’re talking about knitting clothing for refugee camps.” One of Brecke’s personal favorite projects was when they made over 30 hats for local chemotherapy patients. As an annual bonus, group members learn to spin their own yarn each Spring. This close-knit group was

founded roughly five years ago. Today they have 10 to 15 members, a size that maintains a small, personal atmosphere but still produces charitable items. The most inviting part about the group is that new members don’t have to know how to knit before they join. Brecke said they love teaching crocheters or craft-challenged individuals how to knit upon joining. In addition, group members can feel free to attend meetings just to work on personal projects if they bring their own supplies. With the help of groups like Knitting For Peace, yarn is no longer just your grandmother’s forte. In recent years, yarn art has begun to appeal to younger generations. I personally have been crocheting for two years (to my mother’s delight). A new style of graffiti called “yarn bombing” has also stepped onto the scene as an impermanent way to add beauty to an urban setting. Some yarn bombing initiatives also incorporate charity—a colorful afghan wrapped around a stop sign doubles as added warmth for the first homeless person who encounters it. Though it’s not strictly legal, yarn bombing is a way for graffiti artists to get their fix through yarn art while sometimes helping those in need. If Knitting For Peace sounds like a group that you or someone you know would like to join, they meet on Wednesday evenings from 4:30-6 pm in room 324 on the third floor of Coffman Union. Borrow your mother’s knitting needles and go!



february 25 - march 10

Pistols, Physicians, and Politics Minnesota’s current gun control proposals By Logan Wroge

Once again, America finds itself tangled in the age-old gun control debate. Following in the wake of the Newtown shooting, media, Congress, and activists are pushing hard to change the laws so a tragedy such as this won’t occur again. President Obama spoke in Minnesota about restricting gun control legislation on February 4, a day before the legislative hearings on the topic in our state. Most major news networks are focusing on a national level, but where does that leave us? With this new interest in firearms, plenty of legislators, activists, and protestors are offering their ideas. One of the major bills submitted on the issue so far, HF 241, follows Obama’s proposal of banning military-style assault rifles and high capacity magazines able to hold large amounts of bullets, but there have been others who have suggested additions and alternatives. One of these bills would require a note from a doctor or a mental health expert confirming the purchaser is mentally sound enough to buy a gun. Many doctors have expressed that it would put far too much pressure on the shoulders of those who are responsible for the notes. A doctor can’t predict a patient’s future health, and there is always potential for faking the results. Gun control itself has historically run into problems in Minnesota. In the mid-1980s, many urban Democrats attempted to make gun laws stricter in just the Twin Cities, but Republicans and DFLers from rural areas were a large enough majority to block their plans. Some are worried that this teaming up could happen again and complicate the new proposed bills. Proponents of change will need to convince representatives from both sides why assault weapons should be illegal. Their arguments are fueled by recent events such as the firefighter shooting in New York last December as well as the heavily publicized Newtown tragedy. Opponents to changing current laws make note that military style assault rifles are responsible for less than 350 murders out of the almost 13,000 gun-related deaths from 2011 in all of America. They say this small percentage shouldn’t be enough to bar weapons enthusiasts and marksmen from buying military style assault rifles. Multiple bills have been offered to the legislature to look over. For more information, their numbers are HF 184, 242, and 244. Is a possibly safer future worth giving up some of our rights? Minnesotans will need to weigh their options in the coming future debates to find an answer on one of the most heated topics of late.


Us vs. MONSANTO The agri-giant conflict reaches the Supreme Court, sowing seeds of hope in the minds of farmers. By Molly Goin They guaranteed it would save farmers time. They insisted it would save farmers money. So when the Monsanto corporation commercialized its newly patented herbicide-resistant soybean in 1996, farmers across the country jumped on the agri-bandwagon—hoping for crops which could survive being flooded with poisonous chemicals. Today, over 90 percent of soybeans in America possess such resistant qualities. Due to cross pollination and secondary sales, a visit to practically any farm would reveal a farmer who is, knowingly or not, utilizing the genetic development. Such rampant use of these seeds has granted Monsanto facile victories in over 400 lawsuits regarding patent infringement, and the corporation has collected over $23 million in compensation from small farmers. I’m no longer buying claims that these seeds save farmers time or money—no one should. Too many have gone bankrupt, and many lose their farms in the process.

The eclectic business seems to have conquered every arena--from the battlefield to the cornfield. This is the situation facing Vernon Bowman. The Indiana soybean farmer spent years purchasing cheap, second generational seeds from a local grain elevator. Although this isn’t an uncommon practice, a conflict arose when Monsanto demanded compensation for the seeds—declaring such sales violated their patent held on herbicide-resistant genes. But Bowman was not intentionally stealing soybeans from Monsanto. Nor was he the one who collected the seeds. He was merely reacting to bankruptcy (a financial state entirely too common amongst American farmers) by purchasing cheap soybeans from an unmarked grain mill for planting. Monsanto has no definitive evidence to suggest it was the result of deliberate deception or theft. Nonetheless, the farmer was sued, convicted of patent infringement, and ordered to pay $80,000 in restitution.

If anything, Monsanto is renowned for its innovation. The eclectic business seems to have conquered every arena— from the battlefield to the cornfield. Founded in 1901, Monsanto remains one of the most controversial corporations in America—lingering on the curled lips of environmental activists, war protesters, and farmers. The company developed Agent Orange, the contemptible chemical used during the Vietnam War (taking no responsibility for the subsequent generations riddled with birth defects), and food activists are concerned such shortsighted unaccountability is dangerous for America’s food system. After decades of conflict, Monsanto finally finds itself in front of the Supreme Court regarding its absurdly mandated “Roundup Ready” seeds. I was optimistic when the high court agreed to review the case. Not only did Bowman fight his way through numerous courts to reach Washington D.C., but the Supreme Justices uncharacteristically dismissed the advice of the Solicitor General, who suggested they reject hearing the case. Bowman argues Monsanto has exhausted its patent by demanding second generational soybeans be protected by law. The doctrine of patent exhaustion typically protects downstream purchasers, not permitting the patent holder to collect royalties from third party sales.

as soon as they sold the first one, [a farmer] could grow more and have as many as they want?” Well, why in the world did the court agree to hear the case if the issue is that simple? The answer is that it is not, and never will be, so elementary. Patenting life is a heavily contested issue, and the implications of this case are monumental. If the court were to rule in favor of Bowman, patent laws will not be the only thing redefined. Bowman v. Monsanto holds the potential to change the lives of farmers everywhere. If Monsanto’s Roundup Ready seeds were to receive the same legal treatment as most property cases, once the product is legally sold, the company would have no voice in preceding sales. In what some media outlets are deeming a “fight between David and Goliath”, Vernon Bowman has chosen a battle requiring both clout and endurance. If victorious, the struggle surrounding seed ownership will be redefined, providing more liberties to farmers and changing the agricultural industry for the better, forever.

On numerous occasions, the Supreme Court has upheld this doctrine. Precedent, coupled with the high court’s agreement to even review the case, left me hopeful. Still, that hope was met with hesitation. Justice Clarence Thomas spent four years as Monsanto’s attorney, so there is an undeniable conflict of interest. When the Supreme Court heard the case on February 19th, my hope was all but diminished. Bowman’s defense fielded condescending questions from Chief Justice John Roberts, who questioned, “Why in the world anybody [would] spend money trying to improve the seed if, PETER WHITEMAN



Drones Are Your Friends:

What we talk about when we talk about war By Tyler Lauer

Whoever said “all is fair in love and war” didn’t have any understanding of where war was heading what this “white paper” makes clear is that they think we are stupid. Justice, a French electro duo, gained fame in 2003 for releasing a remix of Simian’s Never Be Alone, entitled: We Are Your Friends. In the song they chose to focus on a repetition of the lines, “We are your friends/You’ll never be alone again.” Used as a sort of rallying cry, the song, intentionally or not, truly brings to life that P.L.U.R. (Peace Love Unity Respect) ideal of the EDM community. When the band whips out this crowd-pleaser at festivals they cut out most of the lyrics, letting the crowd chant them instead. This creation of an instant community, a community ready to accept this hopeful message, is exactly what America is trying to do with their drone policy.

of al-Qa’ida or an associated force of al-Qa’ida—that is, an al-Qa’ida leader actively engaged in planning operations to kill Americans.” The document specifies three conditions that, upon fulfillment, would render lawful that which is stated above: (1) An informed, high-level official of the U.S. government has determined that the targeted individual poses an imminent threat of violent attack against the United States; (2) Capture is infeasible, and the United States continues to monitor whether capture becomes feasible; (3) The operation would be conducted in a manner consistent with applicable law of war principles. It’s important to look at the exact wording here—although it was paraphrased earlier—because on the surface it sounds very reasonable. An imminent threat should be considered dangerous. If capture is not feasible then some other method of neutralization does seem necessary. Law of war principles? Of course they need to be considered. The thing is: what does “imminent” really entail? What is an “associated force”? Anyone who sides with their beliefs, whether they act upon them murderously or not? Who determines that capture is infeasible, and is it really

february 25 - march 10

In a recent interview with Charlie Rose on CBS, Former Vice President Dick Cheney called President Obama’s drone platform “a good program,” claiming, “I don’t disagree with the basic policy.” His use of negatives assures us he doesn’t want to be associated with Democrats, but this kind of accolade directed at Obama may as well be a standing ovation from Cheney. Any time Cheney makes an effort to agree with Obama’s policy on anything warrelated, you know we are in trouble.

Don’t accept your designation as an incompetent citizen. Let’s see the warning signs. It seems the current administration would be happier if we accepted drones as our friends and relinquished our rights, including privacy, in favor of security. With new technology comes a need to implement, usually before the moral implications are considered. Next time you listen to Justice, remember: you’re not going to be alone forever. Drones can’t be your friends (they’re not human), and just because you’re an American doesn’t mean you have to go along with every government choice. Being American means having an obligation to question and protest.

Now, in the name of The War on Terror, all seems fair. Whether it’s waterboarding and other forms of justified torture (or “enhanced interrogation,” if you’re a snob) or the invasion of privacy through insane amounts of data logging, it’s all good if it protects the homeland. It’s only when you start killing American citizens without due process that people really start to get their undies in a bunch.


All this vague language and outward compliance by the U.S. government may appease those newly frightened by the idea of “drone death” when coupled with “of American citizens.” But we have to realize that the average citizen’s way of dealing with war and looking at the applicable laws is becoming antiquated. Whoever said “All is fair in love and war” didn’t have any understanding of where war was heading. With drones being cleared for flight over American soil and for use in police enforcement, these aren’t simply issues pertaining to terrorists in some far off desert wasteland. This isn’t some dystopian fever dream. Drones are here.

We all have our problems with “the government,” or at least specific members like Cheney. We may think they are stupid, but what this “white paper” makes clear is that they think we are stupid.

America wants you to know: drones are your friends. It’s just that they’re having a difficult time trying to convey that right now. On February 4, NBC released the “white paper”—legally, it’s unofficial—which explains the rationale behind the killing of American citizens in foreign states. In the wake of this, President Obama has tried to save face by telling the Department of Justice to let Congress in on the confidential memo, the contents of which are described in this “white paper.”

On page 1 of the 16-page DOJ “white paper,” it assures it will outline the “legal framework for considering the circumstances in which the U.S. government could use lethal force in a foreign country outside the area of active hostilities against a U.S. citizen who is a senior operational leader

infeasible if there is the possibility for it to become feasible? Also, with the United States finding a way to work around the United Nations Convention against Torture through the enhanced interrogation program, why should we believe the U.S. will stay “consistent with applicable law of war principles” instead of just creating their own definition?

For more information on drones, see Justin Miller’s “It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! Oh Shit, It’s a Drone” article @ www.



VANITY AFFAIR Senior Slump WTF to make of life By Tommy Finney

Want a Prayer? Read a Newspaper How the media is changing the face of the Vatican By Herbert B. Ferguson-Augustus           

the letter were minute within the Vatican, it proves that not even the Vatican can keep secrets any more. The new Pope will find himself not only in God’s eye but the public’s now more than ever before. The Vatican walls have been penetrated; a degree of transparency between the people and the apostolic palace achieved. Such transparency continues to push the church to reform. The previous Pope, John Paul II, accepted evolution after all as a result of external pressure.  

To be frank, my senior slump started sophomore year. In a Xanax- and alcoholinduced trance, my educational aspirations were almost as low as my self-esteem. By the grace of God I got through the year with mediocre grades and an inflamed liver. As the years continued, things progressively got better, but my motivation for school was still lacking. I am now in the final semester of my college experience and really the only thing that gets me through is Kelly Clarkson. A combination of “Stronger” and “The Sun Will Rise” helps me get out of bed in the morning and gives me the strength to keep going. It may sound stupid, but music is actually a huge form of therapy. Something we unconsciously expose ourselves to every day (at least I do) allows us to free ourselves of unwanted emotions. Whether it is anxiety, depression, or lethargy, we are able to escape and bring ourselves into a better space. Unless you’re listening to Lana Del Rey—in that case you’re fucked. Literally, you won’t be doing anything except smoking weed and binge eating doughnuts. On the other hand, listen to Ms.Clarkson or Nicki Minaj and you are guaranteed to be doing bigger and better things with your life.

Popes do not quit, God fires them. Or at least that has

Perhaps there is no greater indication of the church’s

been the expectation for the last 600 years. Yet Pope

reformation than Benedict’s reign itself. He preached a

Benedict XVI shocked the world, especially the Catho-

faith of reason: it divorced itself from relativist thought

lic church, when he announced his resignation earlier

and acknowledged the limitations of its perspective.

this month. The media, not God may have driven

Thus he welcomed debate, discussion, and dialogue with

make such a decision, revealing the ever-growing influ-

not only Catholics but with the world at large. Perhaps

ence of the media over the Vatican.

there is no better confirmation than his resignation itself, as he himself had the humility to recognize that he is not

“In today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes

fit to be Pope anymore.

and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life

of faith, in order to govern the barque of St Peter and

Today, Priests not only listen to their follower’s prayers

proclaim the gospel, both strength of mind and body

but see them go viral; not even the Catholic Church can

are necessary,” Pope Benedict announced during his

resist change in an age of mass communication. The

resignation speech.

media, despite its sometimes sinister nature, has thus

opened the gates of the Vatican to all, including God.

Even before the Vatican could translate that statement into English, Italian reporter Giovanni Chirri broke the news of the Pope’s resignation to world. The media has reached a point in which they can interpret, analyze, and thus criticize the Vatican and its policies faster than you could make the sign of the cross.

In reality, I wish getting through this final semester was the only thing on my mind. The looming thought of what happens the day after I graduate is almost as horrifying as listening to 2 Chainz. So, on top of getting through this final semester I have to religiously apply for jobs that I have no interest in while desperately avoiding any radio station that may play 2 Chainz (obviously except for Beez n Da Trap, ‘cause that’s my shit). Frankly, you don’t have to love the classes you take. In fact, if you try forcing yourself to or even pretending that you do, your life is going to suck. My biggest advice is to be real with yourself, keep a real perspective on life, and know that these are the last months that you will ever have to study random and potentially useless material.

Of all the media’s jabs at the Holy See, none struck a blow more damaging than public accusation against priests for sexual misconduct across the world. The scandal shook Catholicism, no doubt, but it importantly shaped Pope Benedict’s role not only as Pope, but also as a cardinal.   Back when he was simply Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, his efforts led to the exodus of sex offenders like Hans Hermann Groer, an Austrian cardinal, and Marcial Maciel, a Catholic priest and founder of the Legion of

All the people I talk to who have already graduated claim that the college years are the best and to enjoy them while they last. Hun, don’t get crazy. Of course when you first graduate you are not going to have your dream job, that is a given. But again, if you keep a real perspective and know that everything is temporary you will be golden. One out of a thousand students will graduate and obtain their dream job. For the other 999 kids—give up now and become a low-grade prostitute. Just kidding (kind of), keep your eye on the prize and start looking for other jobs! As they say, the world is your oyster and life is what you make of it. Through these final semesters, keep your head up and motivate yourself by looking at jobs that you are actually interested in. Whether you can apply for them now or not for a few more years—find your dream job and get excited!

Christ. He went even farther in the centralization of the church’s internal investigations into sexual misconduct under the Vatican itself. The scandal nonetheless, became the epicenter of Benedict’s reign as even now advocacy groups pressure him to take further action. Not all of the media’s influence on the church is external, however. Indeed, the Vatileaks scandal was entirely self-generated. Paolo Gabriel, the Pope’s but-


ler, disclosed a letter to the Pope, in which Carlo Maria Vigano begged the Pope not to be transferred for exposing corruption. Though shockwaves caused by



The Bailout: Five Years Later Who’s really paying the price? By Arnav Joshi

On October 3rd 2008, the Senate passed a $700 billion bank bailout bill, known as the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) aimed at buying back mortgage-backed securities in danger of defaulting. Mortgage-backed securities (MBS) are essentially investments made based off the assumption that homeowners will pay the interest on their home loans. The MBS are then bought by hedge funds and other potential shareholders in the hopes that homeowners do indeed pay back what they owe and the investors finally make a profit. In actuality, however, the Federal Reserve deployed around $7.7 trillion in total aid to the ailing banks, allowing the nation’s six largest groups (Bank of America, Citigroup, Wells Fargo, Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan Chase, and Morgan Stanley) to grow their assets by a total of 39 percent. The source of American discontentment regarding this bailout remains tied to the indication that every citizen is charged with paying for part of the original $700 billion. This suggestion, paired with the broader belief that Washington places the wellbeing of those on Wall Street ahead of those on Main Street, has created a national outcry over general fairness. The idea that a “government of the people, by the people, for the people” could possibly place the interests of a few individuals over the welfare of millions has resulted in calls from outraged citizens to end the Fed and increase the regulation of big banks. However, this inequitable mindset is not pervasive, as some see the bailout as necessary for everyone. About 80% of polled economists believe that TARP funding helped decrease the unemployment rate, which prevented what could have been an even larger financial disaster. But the inequity of such a bailout is undoubted; the American people have a right to believe they should not pay for a private corporation’s missteps. At the same time, however, paying to bail out the struggling firms helped keep job retention rates higher than if the corporations had been allowed to flounder in debt. Following the subprime mortgage crisis, investor confidence was at its lowest since the Great Depression, leading the government to come up with a radical plan of action. The goal of this act was to restore faith in the United States’


february 25 - march 10

banking system—essentially damage control. Following the bailouts, however, many banks began doling out massive bonuses to executives, despite the recent brush with complete economic meltdown. Total annual compensation for CEO’s in 2007 ranged from Kenneth Lewis’s (Bank of America’s Chairman and CEO) $24.8 million to Lloyd Blankfein’s (Goldman Sachs Chairman and CEO) $70.3 million. The original use of the money was intended to place banks back on track, and any other use of the funds would be completely inappropriate and out of place. Bank executives are still being given massive compensatory packages each fiscal year in proportion to the amount of profit they generate.


Though the questionable usage of taxpayer funds to pay for excessive executive bonuses is a valid reason to enquire the intentions of American banks, the bailout itself was intended to solve problems. The flailing U.S. banking system needed saving, and the sudden influx of money allowed a vital unit of our economy to recover, despite its crossing of ethical boundaries. Almost five years after the initial stimulus distribution, banks and the global economy are finally beginning to display the effects of the controversial bailout. On one hand, according to a report published by DailyFinance, banks have posted their largest profits since 2006. This yield is a direct product of increased lending, structural stability, and “less threat for loan losses.” While the road back to profitability and financial stability has been long and onerous, financial institutions are slowly moving back into the black. But the largest banks, the main recipients of federal aid packages, remain wary of proclaiming the economy “fixed.” Additionally, stricter regulation has lessened overall bank profitability. Harsher penalties have strangled the previous freedoms of the massive conglomerates, while at the same time creating an illusion of equality between them and the common man. Laying workers off is a tool being used by banks to compensate for increased government regulation. This shows that corporations desire to make a profit supersedes the employment needs of individual Americans. Rigid legislative pressure in the United States has also led the international presence of larger banks to steadily diminish. Regional and domestic banks have become more prevalent and free from international corporate bureaucracy. Newer banks in Brazil, China, India, and Eastern Europe have grown to the point where their efficiency dwarfs that of their American (and British) counterparts. What was traditionally a Western-dominated field has now become a more global domain, mainly due to early negligence by the Western banks themselves. In 2010, Rolling Stone contributing editor Matt Taibbi offered his own opinions on banks, stating their sole purpose

was to “have the rubes of Jefferson County to fleece all for themselves.” He refers to the story of Jefferson County, Alabama, where the town was forced into upgrading its frugal, yet perfectly functional, sewage system for no reason. Banks like J.P. Morgan called for an entire overhaul of the county’s sewage system, adding massive amounts of debt, which was to be repaid by each household in the county. What was once a $14.71 sewage bill skyrocketed to $64, impressively multiplying fiscal pressure on each family within the district. This story exemplifies the relative power of Main Street when faced with Wall Street-sized repercussions. A few overzealous bankers’ monomaniacal approach to economic management led to a downward spiral for the living conditions of an entire town. However, in a somewhat karmic turn of events, banks now face much stricter regulation, which contradicts their age-old unfettered ways. TARP funding forced taxpayers to give up their hard-earned wealth to support reckless financial institutions, allowing them to come back from the brink of extinction. While these firms still hold considerable power, their stock in international markets is steadily decreasing. With less freedom now coupled with growing consumer discomfort within the U.S., bankers should begin to appreciate the distinct possibility of losing that which they cherish most: influence and capital. The economy seems to be slowly improving, and only time will tell just how effective the federal bank bailout truly was.

The Dessert Feature

The Best MPLS Cinnamon Roll The Wake Staff rolled around town, ate as many cinnamon rolls as possible, ended up eating some caramel rolls too—and this is what happened. PLUS: Get Yourself A Real Donut The Fake Campus Cookie Delivery

continued on next page


A Baker’s Wife’s Pastry Shop By Sara Glesne PHOTOS BY ALEX LAUER

a St

The almighty most decadent of bakeries that is A Baker’s Wife: how do I express my childish glee for the odors wafting from this place... Truthfully I’m not an entirely impartial judge, as I worked here in my formative midhigh school years. But even after all the 6 a.m. Sunday shifts spent staring at cinnamon rolls, they beckon me back. The cinnamon rolls at A Baker’s Wife put the ‘merica in “all American.” A mountain of gluten-packed, bready goodness covered in a drizzling of sugary sauce and topped with fluffy cream cheese: this baby is everything momma didn’t want you to spoil your appetite with. (Pro tip: the American Teacakes are even better.)

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Rustica Bakery

May Day Cafe

Uptown Diner

Isles Bun & Coffee

Hell’s Kitchen

By Alyssa Bluhm

By Zach McCormick

By Zach McCormick

By Alex Lauer

By Justin Miller

If a barely-baked, dripping-withfrosting cinnamon roll isn’t your thing, you ought to give Rustica a try. Their rolls, which are made out of croissant dough, are flaky and have a light drizzle of icing on top. This is truly a light snack or dessert, compared to other cinnamon rolls that could be a meal of their own. Rustica’s atmosphere, however, is not as pleasant. While plenty of seating is available, a lot of it is at giant, singular tables that require getting cozy with strangers with pretentious vocabularies and loud children. For a croissant-like cinnamon roll in a peaceful setting, I’d recommend the Franklin Street Bakery, not Rustica.

I’m a little biased on this one because I went to high school just a few blocks away, but if you’re looking for a slightly-less-sinful version of this artery bomb, look no further. This charming little cafe in the heart of Powderhorn has been baking up wonderful concoctions with a vegan twist for their hippie clientele for years. The dough is the real winner here, with a rich, hearty roll that would taste amazing even without frosting, baked to only-just-crispy perfection. Frosting is light on the sugar, and potentially vegan, which turned off a few of our testers, but delighted me after all of the overthe-top sweet coatings we tasted.

This cinnamon roll was of the classic “diner” variety: pillowy, unctuous, and cloyingly sweet. Our friendly server described the frosting as “homemade” and the roll seemed fresh despite her use of a microwave to warm it up. That “homemade” frosting had a distinctly jet-puffed marshmallowy flavor, unique to this restaurant that was pleasant at first but a bit much near the end. Fans of the no-frills blue plate special cinnamon roll will dig this one, and it has the added bonus of being available all day until the diner closes at midnight, just in case you get the craving after your Uptown clubbin’.

This had my vote for top prize, and I know it’s #1 in the hearts of many Twin Citians. Before you even open the door to the unassuming yellow and black striped shop you can smell the baked sweetness waiting inside. The Cinnamon Buns (what they call their cinnamon rolls) are giant, a two-person snack for sure. They also have “Puppy Dog Tails” for those who want a smaller version. But don’t feel bad if you want one to yourself—I always go that route. (Wake staff tips: Look for the tub of cream cheese frosting by the napkins that is free-game to add to your roll if there isn’t enough already, and if you don’t see it just ask—all the employees are super nice.)

As you walk into the dark dungeon that is downtown Minneapolis’s Hell’s Kitchen, it’s not the first place you would associate with pastry excellence. But one bite of their revered caramel rolls and the cynics melt into to converts. As owner and Executive Chef Mitch Omer explained, it’s a sacred recipe. They don’t bake their pecans in the caramel like the normal, inferior rolls, but rather they lightly sauté them in salted butter. The caramel is crafted to a perfect richness and the bun is toasty yet tender. If you like a caramel roll with integrity, this is it. (Wake staff tip: If you’re up for it, pair your caramel roll with bourbon on the rocks and you’ll have the start to a great day.)

#WakeRollz 12.

@alexlauer: And we’re at our last stop—Uptown Diner. I don’t think @alyssabluhm is going to make it. We’ll probably leave her here. #WakeRollz

february 25 - march 10

@ZeeMickCee #wakerollz be gettin’ all classy at Rustica in Yuptown right now! We’re pretending we have salaries!

@alyssabluhm: Using the upholstery in @alexlauer’s car as a napkin #wakerollz


The Other Breakfasty Dessert

Skip the gas station and get yourself a real Minneapolis donut. By Jerod Greenisen

Glam Doll Donuts (2605 Nicollet Ave S): Be the first of your friends to check out Glam Doll Donuts! This place just popped off this weekend, adding some much needed sprinkles to Minneapolis. Check out our interview with Glam Doll on Facebook or at Wuollet Bakery (2447 Hennepin Ave S, and other locations): Uptown has many, many cafes. However, Wuollet seems to-

tally fine with the influx of coffee shops. That’s because they’re a classic establishment, no gimmicks or jokes just honestly good donuts. Think about trying some classic glaze. Lift Coffee & Treats (451 Stinson Blvd): This place will blow your mind. The people at Lift do not just eat donuts—they sustain themselves off of the expressions from customers as they try to fathom what the Ham & Apple Dumpling will do to your life. They’re located in an old, freshly painted garage in a Northeast industrial park, and the donuts are supplied by St. Paul’s Mojo Monkey. Angel Food Bakery (86 S 9th Street): From heaven above, this baroque decadence is to die for. Angel Food Bakery spares no opportunity to make a divine joke (or pastry) so neither did we. The shop is located right above Hell’s Kitchen (see what they did there?) downtown. You won’t be disappointed. We suggest The Anti-depressant Donut—really. Masa (1070 Nicollet Mall): Feeling like a fancy pants? Head over to Masa on Nicollet Mall for some of their fine churros. These fritters are hot off the plate and sparkle in crystal sugar. Slather them with some of that Oaxacan chocolate and sip on bubbly with you and your honey while enjoying Minneapolis’ bougiest doughnut.


Fresh Baked

A Cookie Delivery Hoax Soon to Become a Reality? By Molly Green As an avid cookie eater and a snickerdoodle enthusiast, I was more than excited to hear about Fresh Baked, a fundraising event through a student group that would deliver cookies to you anywhere on campus until 4:20 a.m. I had plans to try every single flavor. I couldn’t wait, it had been so long since I had devoured a real, homemade, fresh-baked cookie. But it sounded sketchy and too good to be true. And in fact, it was. Sorry to build up your excitement. Supposedly, several weeks ago, Wyatt Zulkosky, president of the

Green Group on campus, became the victim of a hardcore Facebook “hack.” Instead of posting embarrassing photos or status updates, the perpetrator in question created a fake fundraiser. A Facebook page was created, posters were hung around campus, and Zulkosky received an innumerable amount of phone calls from students placing late-night cookie orders. It took him several days to take down the Facebook page that was sent to all of his friends and posted in all of the groups he was part of, and he still receives desperate phone calls from cookie cravers nightly. The proceeds from the imaginary cookie fundraiser were going to go towards the Green Group’s first cross-campus longboard race, which was intended to raise both awareness about preservation of the parks and trails on campus, and funds for a new disc golf course. It seems obvious that the cookie culprit is a member of the Green Group, since this is cause that the group is actually working on, and if this isn’t just a publicity stunt it might soon turn into a real fundraiser.

Zulkosky says that the hoax was so popular that the Green Group is now considering using the idea to fundraise for real. Imagine: cookies delivered to you on campus whenever you want from an organization with a good cause! Unfortunately at the moment, the Green Group just doesn’t have the manpower. “Based on the amount of calls, I would need at least 5 volunteers on hand at all times,” Zulkosky said. The group is now looking for volunteers who would be interested in helping out with both the baking process and delivery. If you are interested in volunteering or just being part of the Green Group, contact Wyatt at Seriously guys, lets make this a real thing. I think everyone can agree that longboarding is pretty cool, the environment is important, and cookies are delicious. This fundraiser may have started out as a hoax, but it could really turn into something amazing that the University of Minnesota needs (accompanied by a glass of milk).


Sound & Vision

The All-Time Greatest Valentine’s Day Mix Next year, you should cancel on Cupid and spend the night with Lucy. By Molly Goin

“In what has become an enduring and endearing tradition, Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles spent their Valentine’s Day playing with the band Big Trouble.” “Not only did The Cedar set up a table for lovebirds to trade playlists, but also the intimate cohesiveness of the performers felt, in and of itself, like the greatest mix tape to ever exist.” Even when you have a sweetie to snuggle, it’s easy to fall into bitterness on Valentine’s Day. If you’re not flying solo—drowning yourself in cheap wine or swimming in cartons of half melted ice cream—then you may rest uncomfortably on the other end of the spectrum: obligated to recycle last February’s sentiments in lines of tired poetry intended to let your boo know how much you care. Even if you’re smitten for the holiday, your single friends on Twitter probably gripe until you feel guilty for trying to spread the love. Luckily, the Cedar Cultural Center and the infinitely delightful Lucy Michelle possessed the sugar-coated remedy for those annual adoration woes. In what has become an enduring and endearing tradition, Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles spent their Valentine’s Day

playing with the hypnotic band, Big Trouble. When the fourpiece band took to the stage to kick start the evening, I wasn’t expecting any trouble. But it was difficult to conceal relative disappointment. Their entrancing instrumental numbers generally woo crowds, but the opening performance felt rather tepid. Only Big Trouble’s bassist, Sean McPherson, bothered smiling during the first few songs; and while the folks around me chatted distractedly amongst themselves, I felt even the band members weren’t interested in the music. There wasn’t much heart. Things heated up, however, when three charming gentlemen— Including The Current’s David Campbell—commandeered the microphones for a cover of The Zombies’ hit, “Time of the Season.” Drawn to the energy of the tune, people flocked from the lobby to sing along. For the first time, I felt the night was gaining momentum as the crowd began warming up to the performance. And when Lucy Michelle first appeared for a cover of Marvin Gaye’s “I’m Your Puppet,” fans grew weak in the knees—letting her characteristic charisma control them like, well, puppets. In quite the quintessential manner, the night was about exchanging Valentine’s mix tapes. Not only did The Cedar set up a table for lovebirds to trade playlists, but also the intimate cohesiveness of the local performers felt, in and of itself, like the greatest mix tape to ever exist. Spectators were graced with performances by deVon Gray, Matt Latterell, Brian Just, and The Chalice’s Claire De Lune and Sophia Eris. The eccentric live playlist flattered songs ranging from Wilco to The Pixies, and audience members

acknowledged the thoughtfulness of the set. Steve Steachowiak, 20, was utterly amazed by the show. He expressed appreciation for the fluidness produced by the intimate “jam session”—stating especial fondness for Big Trouble’s contribution to the set. Although Steachowiak wasn’t able to exchange a mix tape, I did speak with a couple thrilled about the theme. Peter Pentz spent time compiling an affectionate CD for his girlfriend, Carly Matheson. I was charmed to receive a copy of his winsome playlist, which included superlative love songs such as Portugal the Man’s “The Sun,” and Jim James’s “A New Life.” Officially infatuated for four months, the two chose to spend their first Valentine’s Day enjoying “The Greatest Valentine’s Day Mix” celebration. The night concluded with a few pieces from Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles’ new album, Heat. In a synergistic exchange, energy radiated between the band and the crowd as Lucy sang some of the newly popular tracks, such as “Undone” and “Puget Sound.” The album was written in the bitterness of a Minnesota winter, yet as the title implies, the melodic tunes were consistently heartwarming. My only valid critique of the evening was the absence of a Kissing Booth. Last year, show goers, including myself, were given the chance to peck the lips of the dainty singer. To much dismay, such fortune was nonexistent this year. Regardless of the lack of smooching, Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles were as intimate as ever, and their revamped covers of love songs made Valentine’s Day impossible not to love.



february 25 - march 10

Sound & Vision

And Everybody’s Celebratin’ Fresh off the 20th anniversary of The Chronic, the annual Dre Day party keeps it G. By Sean McSteen There are some artists who have survived the test of time and have fought off lesser talents who attempt to thrive from their fame by association, and therefore truly deserve commendation and appreciation. One such artist, who is neither dead nor a classic rocker, feeds the hip-hop community with a level of production style and quality flow that has been recognized and loved for more than three decades. Andre Romelle Young, better known as Dr. Dre, has been creating groundbreaking music both on the mic and as a producer working on the more technical side of things since 1984. What better way to celebrate the musical genius of Dr. Dre than to have a party in his honor? With 40 oz. for sale—yet a surprisingly clean floor—and the constant spinning of everything Dre, the Triple Rock Social Club did just that last Monday night at the Triple Rock.


Walking into the Dre Day celebration, I was met with a room full of different kinds of people varying from burly, bearded, beer-drinking men to what I can only describe as hip-hop flappers. A projector above the crowd shot video across the entire left wall of the room, filling any empty moment— there were very few—with a constant stream of Dr. Dre videos. With a flashy car rim and a slightly smaller than lifesize cut-out of Snoop Dogg backing up the DJs on stage, the crowd showed their appreciation with cheers as each new beat dropped. With every first note, the audience at the Triple Rock instantly knew which song was coming, which built up the atmosphere of the room with each new track. The Dre Day celebration gave me some interesting insights into the far reach of Dre’s music within the hip-hop community in its entirety. The crowd knew every rhyme and every drop of the beat, and soon they were ready for the live element of the show. After the $20 Sack Pyramid hip-hop trivia game had ended and the clock was nearing midnight, The Oh Geez set up on stage. A group comprised of members from Dream Crusher and Culture Cry Wolf with a few special guests performed the same West Coast beats created by Dre using live instruments. Flute, synth, and more traditional rock elements helped The Oh Geez perfectly back up the Dre lyrics being spit on stage. The local hybrid group played out the evening with the help of up-and-coming MCs like Sean Anonymous and Lizzo of The Chalice. The celebration showed the true influence of Dr. Dre within today’s hiphop scene, and he would have been proud to be in attendance.


Q&A: Fury Things

Sound & Vision Fury Things are masters of disguise. Lurking just behind the mild mannered exterior of these three friendly young gentlemen is a sonic bomb waiting to go off. Mixing the sweet pop hooks of bands like Sugar and Japandroids with the noise-rock pyrotechnics of 90’s shredders like Archers of Loaf, and then stacking it all on top of a massive pile of amps and drums—they must be seen to be believed. Watching their most recent set at the Kitty Cat Klub felt something like having bubbles blown at you by a jet engine. The Wake caught up with them afterwards to discuss their road-dog dreams and how they’re actually more similar to mixtape rappers than you might think. The Wake: When did you guys start making music together? How did that come about? Kyle Werstein (Guitar/Vocals): About 6 months ago, almost to the day. Devon and I were playing in different bands and we played on the same bill at the Acadia. He wanted to play bass for my old band, but at the time we already had a bassist. We kept in touch on Facebook, and I met Andrew on Facebook too on like a Minnesota Music Facebook group. One day I was like, “I have these demos, let’s start working on them,” and he said, “I have a practice space,” and then we started playing. Devon Torrey Bryant (Bass/Vocals): We went there with one song to try out and I think we played it like— 8 times. It kinda just sounded good the first time we played it, it was “Hard to Breathe” on the first EP, and we didn’t change anything about it. After the first

time it sounded awesome we looked at each other and were like, “Well, should we play it again?” … It was pretty organic. We didn’t have many expectations. I moved here from Chicago not long ago, where I was in a bunch of bands, and I wasn’t really looking to be in a band again. But I did want to play with Kyle because I thought he was cool, and in the middle of playing that first song I thought, “Oh fuck, I’m in a band again.” W: You guys have a practice space that seems to figure strongly into your band’s sound. Could you talk about it? K: It’s in Northeast Minneapolis. D: It’s pretty funky. It is an old acrylic fabrication warehouse. Parts of it must still be used for some kind of warehouse stuff, but it’s hard to tell what’s really going on in there. K: On Saturdays there are like—gang parties. We get there and there are bouncers trying to charge us cover to get into our own practice space. There are a million Ford Explorers and Land Rovers in the parking lot. D: Then there’s this weird mix of gang looking kids and suburbanites, like 15 year old white kids. K: This always happens after we play a show, and we’re super sweaty and tired and we have to get up at 6:00 in the morning for work. I have to shoulder through a crowd with my 80 pound amplifier like, “Just move!” But it’s special because it’s the first place we ever practiced together and it has a very particular vibe to it. Really cool. D: I like the sound of the room too. That’s part of what made it sound so good the first time we played.

By Zach McCormick



february 25 - march 10

Sound & Vision

Listen to Fury Things

EXPERIENCE Fury Things MARCH 1 // Turf Club MARCH 8 // Amsterdam Bar & Hall

Andrew Neil Carson (Drums): It’s pretty big. It’s about 800 square feet. It’s really cheap. D: When we started playing there Andrew already had an old iMac set up with protools on it so we were able to record without any kind of upheaval. We don’t use headphones when we record—it’s all live, just standing there and playing it until we’re happy. Sometimes when you get bands with headphones on and they’re brand new to recording, you put them under the microscope and everything seems to fall apart. K: I like the immediacy of it. There’s a feeling that you have to know your song, and there’s this energy of being in the room and surrounded by sound. There’s something really visceral about that. D: I think our band works best when it’s just a monolith of sound—just one huge brute force! W: It’s a big sound, but a small band. What’s your favorite part about being a 3-piece? K: That’s probably my favorite part, finding all the tricks to make it sound bigger than the sum of us. Most shoegaze bands like to have 3 or 4 guitarists and they’re all playing the same thing, and that’s cool, but it’s just easier. D: The practical stuff is key. It’s just much easier with 3 people. K: We’re planning a tour right now, and we only really have to find one small van or a station wagon and we can fit all of our stuff in there. D: It might just be the three of us too, but it’s much easier to write songs this way. K: For now, I write a guitar part and then sometimes there’s lyrics. Then I send it over, they listen to it, and we say, “Well, we’re gonna play it tomorrow at practice, and then we’re gonna play it at the Kitty Cat Klub.” D: We try not to rush it, but we do try to play songs as soon as possible. As soon as it’s even kind of okay, because it does something to a song when it’s fresh and you go play it in front of people. Then you go back and play it in the space and you know it so much better because you’re not worried about the structure anymore. Also, it annoys Andrew, he’s always worried that we’re not ready to play a song. So we

that we were doing tonight, and maybe do that one in a big studio for a change of sound. K: And to give Devon a break, he’s done all the recording stuff. W: Y’all are very ambitious! Where are you headed in the next 6 months? K: Within the next few months we’re really trying to go up to Canada for a little bit and then going back down the west coast. I was born and raised in Germany, so the international travel is no big deal. D: We played a show at the 331 Club and this guy named Mark Mills came and saw us and really, really liked us. He’s from Calgary, and he told us we should apply for this festival called Sled Island, and we’re in the running. We’re still gonna go out anyway. I used to live in Seattle, so I have friends in bands there. I have friends in Portland, I’ve spent a lot of time in Vancouver so I’ve got a place we can stay there, and in San Francisco. It’s not easy to book that when you don’t have a booking agency, but it’s possible!

make him do it first. A: WE’RE NOT READY! D: We established early on that we always play the brandnewest song first—just to get it out there. It makes the set really good when you do that. W: You certainly seem to like keeping a fast pace, that’s two EPs in 6 months. D: There are bands that I really like, particularly Husker Du, they’re one of my absolute touchstones, and when they were in their hot period they were touring New Day Rising and they had Flip Your Wig already written. They had the next one ready to go as soon as that one was done, and I had it in my mind that we could do that, because we’re a trio and we’re light on our feet about writing the tunes, and I think we could stay ahead of ourselves. The next thing we’re working towards is doing a single, because we had those two new ones

W: That sounds like the kind of DIY ethos that 80’s hardcore bands had. Do you guys have dreams of being road dogs rather than taking the internet promotion route? K: I’m an advertising student, so I do a lot of social media stuff. The ability for something to blow up virally is so volatile. You can get a fanbase, but I don’t want to be just a song on somebody’s iPod that they got from a mixtape put out on a blog. The exposure would be cool, but there’s something about forging that path, really getting out there and playing shows and meeting people and talking to them face-toface—because so many people don’t do that anymore. I feel like Japandroids is a really good example of a band that’s just on the road constantly and touring their asses off, but it’s paid off so well for them. They have that visceral face-to-face personality. D: The recording is like a business card at this point, and what you’re actually selling is your live show. I think our meat is what we do live, and the sound is really impactful live. I think right now, that’s where our thing is.


Sound & Vision

Playing with Fire (and other things) A look into the nuances of the Walker’s new exhibition, Painter, Painter By Courtney Bade

To prepare for a visit to The Walker, you can’t expect to expect the conventional. When I first heard about the new exhibit Painter, Painter, I forgot to do that. The museum’s first group painting exhibit in a decade raises the probing question, “Why use paint?” and more specifically, “What is at stake for a new generation committed to the medium?” especially when they have a near endless list of mediums today. I interpreted this to mean, “Why painters paint.” But that’s not exactly right. Now, I was by no means expecting oil cherubs floating across a canvas, but I imagined the exhibit would include a great deal more of... well, what we think of when we hear the word “painting.” That is not to say I was disappointed. Once I fully understood the exhibit’s intention, the overall effect was actually quite fascinating. Rather than examining why an artist chooses to paint, Painter, Painter presents an exploration with paint. Painting is understood as “a means, not an end,” with an increasingly slippery definition. The included artists seem to be repeatedly poking and pestering the question, “What is a painting?” Traditional oil on canvas is accompanied by leather, steel, glitter, oatmeal, gypsum, gouache, wax, latex, fabric, and many other materials. Because why can’t paint on steel be called a painting? Or paint mounted with other materials on gypsum? Or paint on sculptural foundations? Who is to say what is or isn’t a painting? In short, the whole exhibit is a grand experiment. One piece is of particular note: Dominik Sittig’s Untitled is the traditional oil on canvas made alien by applying layers and layers (and more layers) of paint, creating a slimy, dark, mucus-coated, mysterious presence. The paint is so thick that it is nowhere near being dry, and the smell of its oils floats like a cloud through the three rooms. Alex Olson’s Proposal 9 creates the illusion of charred paper curls cascading down a canvas all with paint, and Dianna Molzon’s Untitled is a graceful, almost cubist-like, canvas sculpture nuanced with triangular paint gradations. In fact, a vast majority of the pieces are incredibly sculptural, even though there are a few simple, geometric oil on canvases scattered throughout.



february 25 - march 10

Painter, Painter really is quite the spectacle. Like nearly everything at the Walker, it makes you think instead of letting you off the hook by merely settling for aesthetic beauty. The exhibit makes the viewer question what a painting really is, in a “This is not a pipe” sort of way. But beyond art and painting, it makes you think about how many concepts in our world are constantly being refined and redefined over and over and over. Painter, Painter is one among many other representations of the vanguard, pushing forward into new territories of thought and creation, adapting to an everchanging world.

Sound & Vision PHOTOS BY A.J. SCHARA


“We don’t support that kind of thing,” bassist Timmy Kosel said, shaking his head. “It’s not what we stand for,” agreed Gummeson.


@ the Fine Line

The Vaudevillian Take Over By Kelsey Schwartz

On Friday, February 8, Vaudeville played their spring farewell show at the Fine Line Music Cafe before heading out on tour, which will weave them through the Midwest, from Chicago all the way down to Saint Louis. They played to a packed house, their second sold-out show at the Fine Line in just under a year. Opening to an excited crowd that literally glowed in the dark, thanks to dozens of glow sticks that were handed out prior to the start of the concert. Having seen them perform before without glow sticks, I couldn’t resist asking what they meant. “It brings everyone together,” said Christopher Gummeson, the lead singer and keyboardist for the band. “It’s an affordable way to show our unity.” As soon as their feet hit the stage, Vaudeville had the crowd hooked. They kicked off the show with their song “Vendetta,” which is also the title of their second and most recent album, released last June. Each song flowed effortlessly into the next, allowing Gummeson to step from the fog and lure one into believing that they were standing in a multi-million dollar venue and not just the Fine Line downtown. Each member connected with the crowd in his own way, making the performance enthralling from any angle or distance. Combine this with a light and laser display that Muse would be envious of, and you have found yourself in a full-blown rock concert that would make anyone want to throw a fist into the air. Yet Vaudeville surprised everyone in the crowd that night when they stopped in the middle of their song “Hide Away” to break up a fight that had started near the stage. Many people in the audience claimed it to be a publicity stunt, but I was assured by the band that it wasn’t.

They thought it was ironic though, in that it happened right when they normally pause to pump up the crowd. Contrary to the current trend in alternative rock bands, Vaudeville sounds exactly the same live as they do on their album. The band avoids over-editing or using massive amounts of Auto-Tune in efforts to cover up less-than-perfect vocals or subpar instrumentals. There is no reason for them to; all five members are true musicians, and it would be a waste of talent if they did. Within their most recent album, Vendetta, keyboard and guitar combine in a hypnotic rhythm and the haunting lyrics are open to any interpretation that the listener wants to make. Each song is unique in its own captivating way and their musical range is more than impressive. That is difficult to achieve, especially for an up-and-coming rock band.

with some of the prize money and I am pretty sure it is making more money the we do.” Being label-less, Vaudeville and a handful of close friends organize, run, and plan every single aspect of the band. They handle everything from lights and publicity to booking venues and selling tickets. “It’s tough, but it makes us stronger as friends and band mates,” Kosel said, looking at the rest of the band. “And really it’s all for that hour on that stage,” Sugar said. What it boils down to is that Vaudeville is a band that goes to infinity and beyond for its music and fans, putting their sweat, blood and tears into everything they do. They have not only proven their worth in the growing music scene in Minneapolis, but they have also laid claim to a coveted spot at Rockfest in Wisconsin this summer, further solidifying that the Vaudevillian takeover has begun.

Since the release of their second album, Vaudeville has seen their fan base nearly double. Back in 2007, when Chris Schara, one of the two guitarists in Vaudeville, and Gummeson started messing around with the idea of putting a band together, the road to finding the right members was a bumpy one. Through many searches, a few kick –outs, a few re-entries, and member switches between locals bands, Vaudeville came to be what it is now: Gummeson on keys and vocals, Schara and A.J. Sugar on guitar, Kosel on bass and John Olson on drums. “I was kicked out of the band at one point,” Schara said with a chuckle, “but then I kind of forced my way back in.” Knowing all that they went through before landing on the current lineup, it is not surprising that the band is as close as they are now. This last October, Vaudeville won Rawkzilla and pocketed ten grand in prize money, which they spent as soon as they got it. “None of us get any money from being in the band,” Schara said. “All the money we make goes back into the band itself. We bought a van


Sound & Vision

U of M Film Alliance Stands Up for Social Change New film group on campus creates piece on HIV-positive social acceptance By Kayla McCombs A group of twelve talented University of Minnesota students form the U of M Film Alliance: a growing collection of artistic souls looking to make movie magic. Just over a year old, the alliance focuses on filmmaking and writing, often interviewing students on campus and having monthly movie nights. This would certainly sound like your average bunch of film junkies huddling in front of a projector screen if it weren’t for the ambitiously inspiring plans they have been brewing. The creative juices are flowing among the group as a socially-conscious short film is

The Maccabees: First Impressions And why you should keep an eye out for them By Kelcie McKenney

While The Maccabees knew little about our lovely home of Minneapolis, Felix White, the lead guitarist, mentioned, “I heard you were famous for your lakes.” Since you probably don’t know about The Maccabees either, here is a short history lesson. The Maccabees have been a band for approximately seven years now and have done tremendously well in the U.K., enough to be considered one of the big players of the current rock music scene. The members are all “best mates” according to Felix White, which is probably the reason they have stuck together for so long. They recently won Mercury Prize, “Album of the Year” and are currently nominated for three NME (a London based magazine) awards, including best live performance. For a more familiar name, if you’ve ever heard of Bombay Bicycle Club, the two bands have played together and have a very similar music style. The reason for hype they’ve been getting in England was made perfectly clear during their performance at Varsity Theater. Even though they aren’t really well known in the U.S. yet, the songs they played did a good job of introducing themselves to our music scene. They showcased music from all three of their

currently in the intermediate stages of production and could gain international recognition. The Film Alliance’s main plans for this semester include entering films in festivals and contests, creating a logo and website, and generally becoming a more widely-recognized name across campus and, awesomely enough, abroad. The group’s current project is a three-minute film highlighting their desire for social acceptance for HIV-positive individuals. With the deadline for the London School of Liberal Arts’ “What Needs to Change?” film competition approaching on February 28, the alliance’s cameramen will be in top gear in the coming weeks shooting and editing material. While other competitions have been spotted and noted, all attention is currently on the idea of spreading this particularly valuable and sensitive message overseas.  As if the possibility of being known in London as some of the most intelligent and proactive upcoming film-makers wasn’t enough incentive for these students, the winners of the contest will receive two-hundred pounds (the equivalent of over three-hundred U.S. dollars) and have their work displayed at a public event in London and on the London School of Liberal Arts website. If recognized, this could mean a big success for some really cool cats at the U.


albums, which demonstrated their diversity and charisma on stage. While they aren’t a “hard-rock rock-band,” the strong guitar and enticing lyrics meshed well with the soft, intimate voice of lead singer, Orlando Weeks. Their opening song, “Child,” from their most recent album, Given to the Wild, started the show perfectly with its soft and slow beginning, and the incredible pickup halfway through that allured us all and set the vibe for the rest of their performance. Though few knew their songs in the crowd, the energy stayed up the entire show with the band members constantly interacting with each other on stage, and the audience joining in when necessary. I’ve been a fan for a while now, and the first song that made me fall in love with the Maccabees was “First Love,” which I was lucky enough to hear live. You know it is going to be a good show when the band sounds better live than on their record. Their set ended with an encore of three songs, one from each of their albums, which left a perfect ending touch to an incredible first performance. Even the opening acts worked extremely well with the Maccabees’s style. Gambles, a solo act from New York,



february 25 - march 10

With the excitement and pressure of competitions on the horizon, the Film Alliance is in constant recruitment of new members. The mission of the group, in the words of president Thomas Ducastel, is: “To create an environment centered around movies in which students at the University of Minnesota, film students or not, can participate in collective filmmaking and writing.” Meetings are held in Rapson Hall, and the group encourages anyone interested in getting involved to contact Thomas Ducastel ( or Zachary Miller (  In the meantime, we can all root for their success in London!

set the mood with soft notes and proud lyrics, while Reputante, another band from New York, picked up the pace. All three bands played flawlessly next to each other, and the fact that none of them were well known in the Midwest added a touch of intimacy to the performance. Because The Maccabees are so famous in the U.K., this smallscale tour is a really big change for them. Felix White said that being on the small stage was “really fun, but a whole lot messier.” Surprisingly enough, it didn’t seem messy at all to those of us in the crowd. They did still have the rest of their tour ahead of them, and it really is a shame that The Maccabees haven’t come to the U.S. sooner. Orlando Weeks, who is just as soft spoken as his vocals, had a bit to say about that after the show. “I kind of figured that this is the first one of our first ever U.S. tour, and we really couldn’t have hoped for anything better,” he said. “It made us want to come back. I figured it’s been too long. I mean we’ve been a band for a long time, we should have done this already.” All of the guys in the band are extremely nice and humble, which made the performance feel even more personal. Hopefully the tour helps show our music community the unique sound and fluid lyrics The Maccabees have to offer, because I, hands down, really want to see them again. The Maccabees also played on David Letterman, Friday, February 15. Their first U.S. television appearance, right in the middle of their first tour here, was a great strategy to catch the rest of our country’s attention. Along with that, in the upcoming year they will also be working on creating their fourth album, which all of the band members seemed to really look forward to. Overall, keep your eyes open for The Maccabees, because they seem to be making a great first impression and they just might be sticking around.

3REVIEWS book of mormon

Tegan and Sara

BY sam schaust

BY grace birnstengel

To those out there who’d say they know more about the places and inhabitants of South Park than their own city of birth, expectations must be high for creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s The Book of Mormon. It’s their first jab into the theatre scene, yet a devoted fan would know this isn’t foreign territory for the duo who produce more comedy than perhaps 60 percent of the world’s countries. From Team America: World Police’s self-indulgent hit “America (Fuck Yeah)” to South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut’s clap-happy tune “Kyle’s Mom’s A Big Fat Bitch,” it’s easy to see writing catchy songs is a natural habit for Matt and Trey.

My first tweeted reaction to the track “I Was a Fool” off of Tegan and Sara’s seventh release, Heartthrob, reads: “I guess at some point Tegan and Sara had to stop making interesting and eclectic music and start making radio-friendly songs.” The tracks initially struck me as cheesy and unnecessarily ridden with 80s synth beats and piano riffs. Let’s look at it from a different perspective. Reflecting on the twin’s discography, Heartthrob is an entirely natural progression. Slowly but surely, their records have become more upbeat and less acoustic-driven. Let’s face it, not everyone can be emo forever (except Conor Oberst). Heartthrob encompasses the same elements that every great Tegan and Sara song has: lyrics about relationships, heartbreak, and miscommunication; beautiful harmonies most highlighted in tracks like “I’m Not Your Hero” and “I Couldn’t Be Your Friend,” and plenty of oohs and aahs. I vote for an acoustic rendition of this album. Throbbing synth beats will never capture Tegan and Sara’s passion-filled lyrics like a good ol’ acoustic guitar can. The two are known to experiment with instruments, this record just happened to be a synth experiment—perhaps in hopes of playing larger arenas and drawing new audiences. Is Heartthrob a commercial bid? Probably. Can I blame these girls? No. Eighteen years of playing and releasing music deserves to be paid off eventually. Don’t get me wrong, I miss the duo acoustics as much as any Tegan and Sara superfan, and wish this album showcased their immense guitar talents, but it’s never too late to pull out So Jealous or The Con to fulfill this need. If learning to like this record a little more means having a jam session rather than a cry session whilst listening to it, then so be it. Tegan and Sara Quin are my soul sisters forever, and I believe I owe them a twitter apology.

Local Natives BY jerod greenisen

The Local Natives’ sophomore album exceeds all expectations. Many had The Local Natives pinned as Los Angeles’ indie flavor of the moment. Kendrick Lamar, Frank Ocean, and Ariel Pink and other L.A. natives had fine moments. However Hummingbird marks the Local Natives as one of the better acts to come out of L.A. This is mostly due the absence of sunshine and congregational glee that dominated tracks like “Sun Hands” and “Airplanes” on Gorilla Mannor.

One Sunday afternoon, while being drowned in a sea of fortyplus adults at the Orpheum Theatre, I found myself in a daze as eight stage actors playing African populates flicked me off as they harmonized, “fuck you God in the ass, mouth and cunt” while maintaining perfect dance choreography. Rather impressive, and the crowd of predominantly moms and dads agreed as they howled with applause and laughter. It was a strange occurrence—witnessing people who’d generally flip the channel off of South Park—now dabbing the tears from their eyes as protagonist Elder Cunningham bellowed about his plan to “man up all over [himself].” Classifying a target audience for The Book of Mormon isn’t possible, it’s simply entertaining for everyone. Watching two self-confident 18-year-old Mormon males battling an African warlord (imagine Kony with an eye-patch) is the most fun I’ve had at a play in, maybe, ever. Do yourself a favor and behold this award-sweeping masterpiece, or at least listen to the brilliant soundtrack.

This album adds a dynamic to the Local Natives that will be much appreciated when they come to First Avenue, March 23rd on behalf of The Current. This sophomore album seems aware of the liminal anxiety of transition. Also, the loss of lead vocalist/keyboardist Kelcey Ayers’ recently deceased mother and founding bassist Andy Hamm last year is captured beautifully on the song “Columbia”. Produced by The National’s Aaron Dessner, Hummingbird has dramatic soundscapes, acoustics fitting for a cathedral, and compositional restraint. The track “Breakers”, serves as a great example of this new restraint and the band’s growth. Hummingbird is a beautiful album, and although Dessner’s influence is heavy, it gives depth to the Local Natives who can now attempt the successes of Arcade Fire and Grizzly Bear. “Am I giving enough?” says Kelsey Ayer on “Columbia”, who articulates Hummingbird as the Local Natives’ struggle with their own reality. This is not a world full of sustained, consistent emotion. Rather, our reality is one that with happiness also shares shattered expectations, loss, suffering, and change.




Hope Up In Smoke By Mitchell Carter

Tick-tick-tick-tick. While the seconds went by slower and slower, the desire grew greater and greater exponentially. Sitting at my desk, my nerves were ripping me apart, and my skin was almost literally itching with anxiety and excitement. Tears welled up in my eyes, burning my corneas, reddening them with a hunger for a touch of a Marlboro. (This wait is killing me!) [I know it’s bad for me…I really shouldn’t…] (What do you know?) [I know enough to understand it can kill me.] My mind fighting itself again – a common occurrence. The truth is: I did know. I have been told since I can remember. “Cigarettes will kill you.” Or at least that’s the jist of the lecture. (The smooth tobacco…) […the unbearable cough…] (…the rush to your head…) […the dreadful smell…] Tick-tick-tick-tick.


february 11 - 24

Each second became heavier and heavier, each awaited that sweet taste of cancer. Lub-dub-lub-dub. Each beat of my heart rushed faster and faster; the anxiety was going to kill me before the cigarettes would have the chance. Beads of sweat bulleted across my forehead and down my back, evacuating the inner-discord. (Just one won’t hurt…) [That’s what you said last time. ‘Just one’ plus ‘just one more’ turns into…well, this…] Addiction is for people that are out of control of their lives. Drunks. Winos. Meth Heads. Pill Poppers. (You’re not addicted! You’re smart about it. One here, one there…) I couldn’t be…could I? Me? Dependent on a completely legal substance? (Nah…you’re in control! And you’re deciding yourself to have one.) [You can’t stop. You wouldn’t be acting this way if you weren’t addicted…] I’m in control…aren’t I? (…one to relieve stress, two to feel cool…) […and a couple cartons later will help nail your coffin shut for

good.] They always tell you about the side-effects of smoking. Coughing, smelling bad, etc. Coughing was not an issue to me. (Everybody coughs…) [Not like that…] Smelling wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. (Why does cologne exist, then?) [Certainly not so you can be an overly expensive air freshener.] Outside, cigarette in hand, smoke sputtered silently toward the sky, whispering its promise to make me feel good all over with a tingling sensation unmatched by most other stimuli. As I motioned to inhale another shallow breath, I caught a mirror image – my reflection in a puddle on the sidewalk. A monster. [You really don’t need it!] While I start to consider throwing my smokey friend to the ground, my hand won’t let go. I want to throw it away, but I can’t. (But you want it.) And to be honest, I really did. Temptation is a horrible fiend, one you must never taunt. It will always win in a battle of wits, brawn, and desire and, in turn, you will always lose. (Take your medicine. Atta boy, nice and deep.) [I’m disappointed in you…] So am I.

The Bastard

Really??! Really???!


wake snake

Want to get involved with the Wake student magazine? 4th meeting of the semester - Monday March 25th @ 8:30 p.m. Nicholson Hall 125 Email with any questions Looking For: writers, photographers, illustrators, videographers, web designers, R. Kelly fans, you

The Wake, Issue 10, Spring 2013  
The Wake, Issue 10, Spring 2013  

**MPLS DESSERTS FEATURE** + Pistols, Physicians, and Politics + Drones Are Your Friends + Us vs. Monsanto + LOTS MORE