Wairarapa’s locally owned community newspaper
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30, 2022
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‘Your loss matters’ Erin Kavanagh-Hall
erin.kavanagh-hall@age.co.nz
Sunny Martin (left, support coordinator leader), Katie van Dalen (service manager) and Lucy Griffiths (board chair) with some of the items included in Hokai Tahi’s baby loss care packages. PHOTO/ERIN KAVANAGH-HALL
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A Wairarapa support service is reaching out to whanau mourning the lives that barely had a chance to begin – reminding them that their child, and their loss, matters. To support parents experiencing the loss of a baby, whether through miscarriage or still birth, Hokai Tahi is assembling baby loss care packs to distribute to maternity services and funeral homes throughout the region. The care packages, made possible with community donations, are filled with “thoughtful items”, intended to nurture parents in their grief, and acknowledge their longed for children. Hokai Tahi, formerly known as Crisis Pregnancy Support Wairarapa, was founded by a group of health professionals to fill gaps in community maternity services – supporting whanau through unplanned pregnancy, baby loss, or termination. The baby loss care packs were the brainchild of Hokai Tahi’s assistant
support co-ordinator Emma Stuart – who felt deeply for families who, following the loss of a baby, had been discharged from health services without follow-up care. The packs, Stuart said, were a way to show families compassion and comfort while “grieving the loss of something so precious to them”. Hokai Tahi service manager Katie van Dalen said baby loss is still a subject that is “swept under the rug” – and families’ pain can often be minimised, especially if the loss occurred early in pregnancy. The care packs, she said, acknowledge their baby existed – even for a short time. “People often say things like ‘oh, you can try again’, or ‘one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage,’” van Dalen said. “But as soon as they find out they’re pregnant, so many people have hopes and dreams mapped out for their baby. “A loss of a baby is a loss of those dreams – and that can have a huge impact.
“The packs are a way to tell our whanau, ‘hey, you’re special, what happened to you was significant, your child matters, and you’re still a parent’”. Support co-ordinator leader Sunny Martin, who had an ectopic pregnancy at eight weeks, agreed. “When you walk away from the hospital after a miscarriage, you have nothing. At that stage, you don’t have even have a picture from your scan to show you were carrying a baby,” she said. “That sense of emptiness is so poignant. “If I’d received a package like this, I think it would have brought me hope and comfort to know my baby was acknowledged.” Hokai Tahi, based at Hessey House on Worksop Road, utilises a small team of volunteer support co-ordinators who “walk alongside women and whanau through all aspects of their pregnancy journey”. All Hokai Tahi support co-ordinators are registered health professionals, such as Continued on page 4
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