Remembering Lola
Maireceivedthenecklacefromherauntasabirthdaypresentforher18th.
ThecrosspendantwasoriginallyherLola’s(meaninggrandmainTagalog);shewasadevoutwoman whomadesureherchildrenattendchurcheverySundaymorning.Althoughthegoldnecklacewas simple,itremindedherofthehotsummermonthinJuly2013.
Sherememberedthewhitewallsaroundher,thebuzzingoftheceiling’sfluorescentlights,andthesound oftheventilatormachineoccupyingtheroom.
Sherememberedthewords,“Timeofdeath,16:15,”ringingloudlyinherear.Theantisepticodorchoking herfamily,andthecoldairembracingtheirgrievingheartsastheDarthVadernoiseslowlyvanished.
Sherememberedhergrandpa’ssleepyeyesswellingupwithtears,drippingacrosshiswrinkledcheek.At herLola’speacefulpassing,sherememberedherfamilyweepinginsilence,withsomemembers attemptingtoholdbacktheirtears.
MairememberedherLolabeingheavilydependentonmedicaldeviceseversinceshewasinmiddle school Shespentmostofherchildhoodcaringforalovedonewhowasparalyzedfromtheneckdown
Sherecalledcominghomestraightfromschooleveryday Orbeingawakenedinthemiddleofthenightto assistherauntandmomtobatheherLola,changeherfeedingtube,diaper,orclothing
EventhoughMaineverhadaconversationwithherLola,sheenjoyedhercompanywhilecompletingher assignmentsinthelivingroom Sheappreciatedsomeonewatchingoverherevenwhenitwassilentmost ofthetime
ThingshavechangedsincethenbutthenecklacestillremindedMaiofthecourageous,tenacious,and fiercewomanwhoworkedlonghoursonthefarminthePhilippines Ofastrongwomanwhoraised13 childreninahouseconstructedofbananaleavesandbamboosticks Ofalovingimmigrantmotherwho prioritizedherfamilyandmadealotofsacrificestobringsomeofherchildrentoAmerica
SheistheLolasheremembered
The Colors of Black and Gold
Wearingthisscarfwaslikeagoldmedal
AbigaccomplishmentthatIamthefirstinmyfamilytogotocollege
Yet,italsoweighedagreatdeal
Ofthesacrificesmymomhadtomake
Ofleavinghercountry,hercommunity,andherhusband
Ofbringingtwoofherchildreninaforeigncountryforabetterlife
Butinsteadshewasconfrontedwithexclusion,inequity,racialharassment,and discrimination
IntheLandoftheFree
Andherchildrenwouldalsoexperiencemanyhardships
ThethreadsrepresentingthelonghistoryofAsianAmericansandtheircontributionin shapingUSidentity
Yet,it’sapieceofcloththatiswornaroundtheneckusuallytokeeponeselfwarmduring theharshcoldwinters.