W42ST Issue 22 - Hell's Kitchen, center of the superhero universe

Page 38



In the foodiverse that is Hell’s Kitchen, who are the villains and which superheroes save the day? Blogger Ziggy points the finger

VILLAINS Sexy tacos

Check out that dough



You know the famous line: ”I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him?" Well, I do believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Ezra from Azuri Cafe. Ezra makes the Soup Nazi look like Mother Teresa. August 12, 2013, Ezra's last smile is one of a handful of dates I remember. The others are family birthdays. When I once realized I only had a $100 bill and a credit card after I ordered my shawarma sandwich, I didn’t sleep for a week. All he did was stare. You are just another annoying distraction to him and his legendary falafel making routine. No one in Hell's Kitchen makes them better. Trust me, I looked. Then looked again.

Joe is a made man from Brooklyn with a very particular set of skills. Skills he acquired over a long career in pizza making. When he’s not busy making offers people can’t refuse, he spends time hunting down top-notch ingredients for his pizzas. His thick-cut pepperoni is second to none. He takes care of his dough like a mother taking care of her first child. Unlike his enemies, who take care of their dough like a mother taking care of her second child. Do you want to meet Joe? Good luck. You need to make friends with one of the Italian female captains at Capizzi. If you dare! And you better leave a nice tip in the process. Ever spent a night in a dumpster? It's scary the first hour but you quickly get used to it. Picture of Joe unavailable for obvious reasons.

The most interesting man in Hell's Kitchen, Akhtar has been voted one of America’s sexiest chefs by People.com, Shape.com, and more recently PeopleInShape.com (2/3 true). When he’s not busy sexting, or converting innocent women and children to glutenfree diets by day, he fights less interesting people on the rooftops of Hell's Kitchen by night. Choza, with its addictive tacos, and Indie Fresh, at Gotham West Market, are two of Hell's Kitchen’s most refreshing newcomers of the last few years. My friend Lou heads straight to Choza 9.5 out of 10 times, while Indie Fresh has the healthy goodies no one else in the neighborhood has. Bison borscht anyone? Davai!

W51ST ST - 9TH/10TH AVE www.azuricafe.com

9TH AVE - 40TH/41ST ST www.capizzinyc.com






Choza and Indie Fresh

GOTHAM WEST MARKET, 11TH AVE - 44TH/45TH ST www.chozataqueria.nyc www.indiefresh.com