6 minute read
Empowering Our Feminine
by Deborah St. Hilaire
As a constant observer of humanity, it is impossible to have not noticed a universal scarcity of power, in women, all over the world. It is not always self imposed, although we are responsible for allowing it to have happened. Oh, we can point fingers at our circumstances, men, children, parents, careers, teachers… the list goes on and on and on… The truth is three fingers are pointing back. We have, collectively, contributed to our own demise. It has not always been this way. It is not meant to be this way.
Our own evolution has separated us hence diminishing our strength. We have drifted from our gathering sisters and gotten too wrapped up in our singular daily rituals of societal and self mandated obligations of child rearing, wife being, home makers, gossipers and workers. It is not surprising that we are zapped, drained of energy and might…we don’t feel empowered…just worn out.
The time has come for us to reclaim our sacred feminine. We can have and do it all…with a little help from our sisters. If we combine we can accomplish this much more quickly!
Here are ten suggestions to begin the journey of self reclamation:
No more gossip. Back stabbing is the major combined consumption of command we have. Each time a woman puts another down, a bit of womanhood vanishes. It is painful to hear beautiful people speak badly about a friend, acquaintance or stranger. It belittles the gossiper, not the gossipee. We are unaware of what may be occurring in their life, heart or head. Who made us the expert? Instead, support without judgment. When you hear gossip, speak up! I guarantee you feel be respected as well as empowered!
Find a mentor/be a mentor. There is room for all of us to be successful. We can share our expertise, without fear, if we can trust one another. TRUST, is key. We would “give” more freely if only we knew that it would not back fire. Unfortunately, we have become understandably afraid in the work place. Competition has forced us to conceal our naturally nurturing nature. If we worked together, instead of against ourselves, we would find a renewed sense of sisterhood. You may get hurt but keep moving forward, fearlessly. Lead by example. To mentor without jealousy or fear is definitely empowering.
Form a tribe of women who lift you. These can be women from work and/or play. They are the sisters who have your back, depend on and talk to about anything and everything. Form a mastermind group to help each other succeed. Celebrate the accomplishments of each. Start a dinner, wine, walking, tennis or whatever club. Linking with like-minded women will be empowering to all concerned.
Take care of your body. It is the only house that matters. It makes no difference how much you weigh, however, how you feel about it does. If you are in pain, unhappy or uncomfortable… your full power will neither be accessible nor evident. Take charge. Create a powerful self image. Eat well… be well, think strong…be strong. Stretch, walk or do whatever you can to improve your self image. Find an activity that you enjoy, can schedule and stick to. Being your best self is evident and empowering.
Feed your mind and your spirit. You must replenish yourself. This is where a DivaSister can help. Exchange turns watching the children, even if it is for an hour of peaceful tranquility, a walk, a read, a bath. Return fully charged, ready for the next round. Meditate early in the morning or last thing at night. Just breathe!
Read. Doesn’t matter if they are fact or fiction, read. Throw in a prominent female author now and again. There are tons of women who have a message, a teaching experience, a biography or autobiography or a good story to tell. There are bits of wisdom everywhere, find them, share them. A book club is a great way to have “adult” conversation.
Wear clothes that make you feel good, no matter the occasion. If everyone is wearing jeans and you feel like wearing a dress, do it. The opposite is also true. Some colors suite you, others do not, learn these. Your particular sense of style will emerge, others will notice. Be yourself, consistently, chin high, shoulders back. There is power in being an individual who is not afraid of their own distinctiveness.
Try a new look. Feeling a little down, change it up! Get a make-over. Arrange a girls’ day at the salon or spa, or just have a friend do something fresh to your face and/or hair. It may be as simple as experimenting with a trending lip or nail color or buying a new bra (an uplifting experience!). Sometimes, the simplest little change can perk up your personal power.
Go to dinner alone. Get comfortable spending time with yourself. As a coach, I see fear of being alone, as one of the most disempowering situations a woman can find herself in. You do not always have to be accompanied by a friend, partner or child. Take a test drive in independence, go shopping, have dinner or see chick flick ALONE. Just do it! Your self esteem will sky rocket.
Know who you are and what you believe. This is the most vital step of all. If you do none of the others, please do this one. Learn about you. What makes you unique? Why do you have set behaviors or insist on certain things? Explore your beliefs about the universe and God, raising children, your parents, things that matter. Think. Discover a passion, be it painting or skate boarding. Who are your influencers, your heroes, your want-to- be’s? In other words, focus on YOU. Once you truly know yourself and your beliefs, making it easy to be authentic, attract the right people, define your purpose and stand for something. You will be YOU and that, my friend, is empowerment.
You can turn your personal empowerment journey into tangible goals by making a list and crossing them off as they are achieved. If we all come to realize our own strength, think how powerfully we can be together. Just imagine the possibilities.
That’s what The Divalution is all about. Welcome.
Deborah St.Hilaire is a unifier, enlightener and catalyst for change in the way women are treated and treat each other. Author, speaker, transformational coach and teacher, Deb, the founder of MyBodyMindSpirit. com, is dedicated to enriching lives through selfcare, meditation, movement, thought and journaling. She can be reached at 989.450.4200 or deb@mybodymindspirit.com.
