REDELIJK (EIGEN)WIJS — SIMPLY GREAT STUFF
VUB’S ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE LAB RESEARCHES THE BENEFITS OF APOLOGISING
People are not just friends for a day To commit a blunder, say ‘I’m sorry!’ and be forgiven – this is a daily experience common to us all. But why do we do this? The team at the Artificial Intelligence Lab of the VUB, led by Professor Tom Lenaerts, has researched this question using a mathematical game-theory model. Te x t J O R E N S A N D E R S Ph o to g raphy Y A N N B E R T R A N D
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rofessor Lenaerts reports that, while his team’s experiments show that apologies and forgiveness are extremely valuable to maintaining peaceful relationships, the results also demonstrate that ‘an insincere apology leads to abuse and exploitation.’ “This undertaking is linked to a long argument, which has raged
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since the 1950s, about the origins of cooperative behaviour,” says Lenaerts. “If we start from Darwin’s ‘survival of the fittest’ principle, it is astonishing to see how many relationships we form. These relationships are, almost by definition, long-term projects, as people are not just friends for a day. But ‘long-term’ also implies that some mistakes will inevitably be made within the re-
lationship. The question is, then, why people still opt for cooperation, instead of abandoning their relationships immediately once a fault has been committed.” Game-theory model To help explain this, Lenaerts’ team developed an evolution-based game-theory model. Using this model, the team created mathematical scenarios in which cooperation took precedence over competition, then analysed how evolutionary circumstances could have motivated the choice for cooperation. “In the prehistoric era, most social groups were very small tribes, and if conflicts were not resolved the tribe fell apart. In order to survive, however, it was more interesting for tribes to stay together. Successful conflict resolution was therefore, even at the dawn of humankind, very important.”
Sincere apology But forgiveness is not for ‘free’. The VUB team’s research further demonstrated that an apology must be sincere to produce its intended result. Adds Lenaerts, “In the game-theory model, we attach a certain ‘cost’ to each apology; otherwise the apology is not ‘good enough’ for the person to whom you are offering your excuses. An insincere apology leads to abuse and exploitation of the situation.” The mathematical model thus offers a scientific framework: if the sincerity of the apology is shallow – that is, if it ‘costs’ very little to the person who is apologising – the relationship receives an enormous blow. “The cost of an apology hangs, in large part, on taking responsibility. Therefore, if an apology is sincere, both parties stand only to benefit from it.” Forgiveness instead of revenge “We also based our research on a scientific article that advocates apology and forgiveness in place of revenge. Revenge is another mechanism that, throughout the ages, has made others think twice before repeating a relationship-damaging error. However, forgiveness and apologising are essential replacements for revenge in that they help build relationships constructively. They are, therefore, crucial mechanisms for maintaining functional societies.” ― H
Het Artificial Intelligence Lab zocht aan de hand van een speltheoretisch model uit waarom en in welke situaties mensen voor coöperatie kiezen in hun relaties. Verontschuldiging en vergeving zijn gewoon betere mechanismen, zo blijkt, maar moeten wel gepaard gaan met verantwoordelijkheid. De ‘sorry’ moet oprecht zijn. NL