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Editor-in-Chief Gwendalyn Augustine Creative Director Katarina Van Derham
Contrubuting Editor Kimberley Wahl
Beauty Contributor Katarina Van Derham Angelica Curiel Dia James
Fashion Stylist Holley Wolfe
Food Contributor Denis De lio Strittos Mando Aceves Nikki Sharp Ron Russell Tal Ronnen
WeI/ness Contributor Candace Kita Jesse Golden Jessica Steinberg
Arts & Entertainment Contributor Candace Kita
Travel Contributor Candace Kita Kim Kessler
Great Mind Contributor Bo L. Arnold
Fashion & Beauty Photographer Charles Rodriguez Deja Jordan
Graphic Departament Gabriela Mohrova, Samuel Pernecky
Director of Marketing & PR Oskar Rivera
v.P. of Advertising Kimberly Cozzens
Copyright ÂŠ 2016 KVD Brand, Inc., VIVA GLAM ÂŽ is a registered trademark owned by KVD Brand , Inc. All rights reserved . VIVA GLAM is published quarterly by KVD Brand Inc., 4821 Lankershim Blvd. F-345, North Hollywood, CA 91601 . Tel 818 .30 8.7697 vivaglammagazine .com Classic Glam Issue, 2016 . Issue 11 , ISSN 2332-5933
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VIVA GLAM magazine
Classic Glam ISSUE
FASHION 12 22
Cover Story, The Texan Blondelle Scarlett Burke Beach Bombshell, Anna Katharina
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 36
Dorothy Wang, from The Rich Kids of Beverly Hills
WELLNESS 8 18 32
Couple that Plays Together Stays Together The Beauty in Yoga The Fountain of Youth
35 42 44 48
5 Principles of Ballet Don't Be A Wimp, find your personal, loving boundaries Constructing Boundaries VIVA GLAM MAGAZINE ONLINE! Meet the VIVA GLAM writers
54 60 64
South of France The Garden Island of Kauai, Hawaii A Taste ofThe Old West
Starr Power Club Club 33
Don't Seek Love, Seek the Boundaries That Inhibit Love
The Texan Bonde e
carett It was in junior high that a math teacher suggested SCARLETI become a model, The teacher claimed that Scarlett would grow up to look like Christie BrinKJey and even referenced the Vacation Movies, She must have been on to something, because Scarlett did become a model and later, even played opposite Christie Brinkley in the Infiniti QX60 commercial , a 'Family Vacation Holiday' spoof.
Do you have any funny or wild stories from "on the job"? We did a really fun and beautiful shoot in Punta de Mita Mexico at a VERY secluded but gorgeous resort for about five days. Little did we know that the male model /"wardrobe stylist" that was on our crew had been on the run from the FBI for 1 years! He was on their 'Top 10 Most Wanted List'! He was arrested on the plane as soon as we landed in LA .. .I broke out in hives and almost barfed in my purse.
Do you have any advice for young women who see your images and think that is how they should look?
Photographer Deja Jordan Model Scarlett Burke Makeup and Hair Katarina Van Derham Stylist Holley Wolfe
Oh boy, well it makes me sad that as women , we are so prone to compare ourselves, rather than focus on what we love about ourselves individually. I hope women know, that almost every single photo out there is photoshopped, and that hair and makeup can take hours for a team of talented artists to create. So if you find yourself looking at a photo and think you should look like that person, know that they don't even look like that. We seem to always want what we don't have; curly or straight, tailor petite, porcelain or tan. Love who you are and focus on what you love about yourself! Your inner beauty will take you much further than your outer beauty.
PLAYS 18GETH ~R, STAYS TOGETHER, What is the secret to a SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP? Is it romance? Having common goals? Or maybe the key to a healthy partnership is simply being happy together? 11m sure it is a combination of all of these, One thing seems certain thoughl a couple that plays together l stays together! And as the saying goes Iitempus fugitl or Iitime flies so do the things you want to do now, Shoot for the moon because there is no time like the present to enjoy life and revel in it together! I
PLAN SOMETHING SPECIAL Taking a vacation together is always a great bonding experience. But planning a vacation together can be as equally romantic and bonding, in part because it builds anticipation for your journey. In your relationship, it is always important to have something to look forward to. Whether this is a quick visit to a nearby town or a fabulous trip around the world, the prospect of an adventure is something to be relished. If you travel close or far, be certain to include s that each of you want to do, even if they interests.
Not the skydiving type? Get involved in a local charity together. Find one that speaks to the both of you. Love animals? PETA might be the charity for you. Or perhaps you care for underprivileged children , and OXFAM might be right for you . Whatever the place you choose to donate your time and energy, you can promote it together, and it will be for the betterment of everyone involved.
B6tf)~ Another way to play together is to get outside of your comfort zone. Dare each other to do something you have never done before. Have you ever thought about skydiving? Or have you desired to climb Machu Picchu? Perhaps it is something as simple as rollerblading or visiting the unknown parts of your town. Whatever makes you slightly anxious is probably good for you. So, go for it! Allow yourself to go outside of your comfort zone with your partner and you'll likely both end up loving it.
EAT, DRINK, & DISCOVER Food and wine play a big part in life's enjoyment. Most of us love to try new food and drink from places all around the world. Nowadays, you don't have to travel far to experience authentic cuisine. In fact, most major cities offer an array of ethnic foods. Visit restaurants, wineries, and food festivals together. You 'll learn about different foods and cultures and will be glad that you did it together. We can all be tempted to fall into familiar patterns that are comfortable and secure. Having fun together, being active, and challenging one another to try new things, is a way to breath life into your relationship and keeps the energy flowing . It will give you something to anticipate, things to talk about, and memories to reminisce about later. It builds bonds and facilitates connection .
Sports can also be a fun activity for you and your man. Whether you participate in a sport together, or watch it as fans , sports can be a year round interest. Try golf, tennis, kayaking, or get in shape and exercise together. Working out together can build muscles and bonds!
GET OUTIA HERE! Do you or your partner have to go out of town for work? This is a great excuse for the both of you to get out of town . Work plus play can equal a great trip if you understand that the other must work for a portion of it. Peruse Yelp and other travel guides for ideas . That way, if your partner is available for dinner, you already know the perfect spot to try. When they are working during the day, you can visit local museums and tourist spots. And if there is a free day, you can play together in a brand new city!
@8 Ctl/ball be tempted to fall into familiar pattems that are comfortable and secure, Having fun together, being active, and challenging one another to try new things, is a way to breath life into your relationship and keeps the energy flowing, It will give you something to anticipate, things to talk about, and memories to reminisce about later, It builds bonds and facilitates connection,
WELLNESS Written by Jesse Golden
eau There is no doubt that YOGA has the ability to help you cultivate a kinder more compassionate way of being, The philosophies behind each pose (asana) are deeply ~~--:.::- ~--r-o'ur~Q
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in training the mind 8 C[9ate harmony -"'tATough difficult moments, Attaining CQntentment and strength in a difficult moment oa the mat eventually transpires oif the mat,
i t o find COMFORT in the unc?mfortable and helping you to "work out" the inner kinks, de oping an inner beauty that never fades ; leaves us radiating a beautiful aura or presence despite outward appearance. This is something I like to call the "yoga glow."
Each pose, each difficult moment, is an opportunity to practice steadiness, mindfulness, and compassion. Adapting these traits are what I find most beautiful and powerful about the human spirit. It is a discipline, a constant awareness and effort, and a choice to not be affected or reactionary in circumstances. Instead using the tools that yoga gives us, such as breath (prana), focus (drishti), and positive intention (mantras) to find contentment and eventually power during difficult times. Through regular practice, this becomes a subconscious response to every challenge in your life. Always choosing to look at the beautiful side of things and becoming more beautiful within yourself in the process. Every pose in yoga has a purpose in affecting your health and state of mind. Everything in yoga matters; every breath and every focus (drishti) is there to help you in some way. Here are some yoga tools you can try the next time an uncomfortable or difficult moment arises on or off the mat.
Breathing properly brings oxygen to every cell in our body and is probably one of the most overlooked health
tools there is. Focusing on the breath can lower stress levels and even blood pressure. First, notice where you might be retaining breath or not inhaling. Is the breath in your belly or your chest? Is it coming in through your nose or your mouth? Try to breath through your nose, a breath that in yoga is called Ujjayi breath or ocean breath. Relax the jaw and press the tongue to the roof of your mouth, creating the sound of the ocean. The breath should be audible to yourself and maybe someone that is right next to you. Focus on making your inhale and exhale the same length of time. Then with each inhale/ exhale, try elongating the time of your breath.
(positive intention, affirmation, or sound) I like to start every day and every practice with a mantra or positive intention. Depending on what I need that day, whether it be peace, clarity, love, or a Sanskrit sound like Om or The Mantra, Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say So Hung. The key is to find a word or sound that resonates with you and what you want to embody; a word that you can come back to when a difficult moment arises.
(drishtij Every pose in yoga has a focal point in which to look and depending on your ability and/or health, it changes. For instance, looking down is known for being more calming and looking up is more energizing. However in balancing poses, we want to focus at the level of our eye line, then once that is mastered, gazing upward is the next step. Focusing on a point on the body or focal point in the room steadies the mind, therefore creating harmony and balance within the body.
B.K.S. Iyengar said, "Yoga does not just change the way
we see things, it
~de~ who sees. " - teaching us to see
the beauty Âˇ everything, especially
----4ÂĽ /'I".1 I
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WELLNESS Written by VIVA GLAM
The Fountain of Youth
Did you know that green tea (camellia sinensis) is one of the HEALTHIEST BEVERAGES ON THE PLANET? Why? Ifs loaded with antioxidants and nutrients that have powerful health and beauty benefits, Some of these benefits include fat loss) a lower risk of cancer) more beautiful skin) and improved brain function,
antioxidant in this wonder beverage is catechin . Catechins are antibacterial agents that work by reducing the formation of free radicals in the body, which are known to cause aging and disease. Catechins also help regulate hormonal balance, helping combat acne.
Caffeine is another component, and it can improve brain function . .. some might say, it can even make you smarter! Most of us already know that caffeine is a stimulant that wakes us up, but caffeine also blocks an inhibitory neurotransmitter, Adenosine. By doing this, it increases the firing of neurons and the concentrations of dopamine and
norepinephrine. What does this all mean? Basically, it leads to increased brain function , memory, reaction time, and even mood . Green tea's reputation of helping us "live longer" is likely due to its most active constituent called epigallocatechin gallate. This has been found to lower the risk of certain types of cancer, such as breast, prostrate, and colorectal, as well as lowering your risk of type II diabetes, cardiovascular disease, stroke, Alzheimer's, and Parkinson's disease. If that weren 't enough, green tea also improves your overall physical performance by boosting your metabolic rate, thusly increasing your fat burning potential. Drinking green tea specifically decreases body fat in the abdominal area so it helps target that pesky belly pooch on women and the spare tire on men!
In addition to the multiple
BENEFITS found in green tea, there are several beauty benefits for both your skin and hair. Green tea helps to improve the overall appearance of your skin by flushing out toxins. It also helps to reduce blemishes, heal scars, improve elasticity, and reduce inflammation. The tannins found in tea reduce swelling , tighten skin , and help shrink the blood vessels surrounding your eyes, reducing puffiness and dark circles.
8/0Iffi ~ . • Steep two tea bags in ot water for 3-5 minutes, as you would to make a cup of tea. • Remove the tea bags and squeeze out excess tea. • Place tea bags in the refrigerator for 10-15 minutes, or until cold. • Drink the tea. • Remove and your eyelids, resting • Steep one tea bag in a cup of hot waler for for 10-20 minutes. • Remove the tea bags rinse your face with 3-5 minutes, as you would to make a cup of tea. clean water • Remove the tea bags and letlhe tea cool. Green tea can delay the signs of aging in skin such as • Add water (if desired) and pour into a spray dark spots, fine lines, and wrinkles, and its astringent bottle. (or jar and use wilh colton pads) properties will help to shrink unsightly, large pores. • Do not rinse face after use. Simply spray brewed green tea on your face; it works as • Keep the toner in the refrigerator up to three a natural skin toner! This also helps with skin conditions days. such as psoriasis and rosacea.
For your hair, green tea stimulates hair growth , prevents hair loss, and helps prevent dry scalp and dandruff. After washing your hair, simply rinse it with cool, brewed green tea. Drinking green tea also helps grow long, shiny, beautiful hair!
For achieving the best beauty and health benefits of green tea, studies show it is best to drink at least three cups a day. If you are used to drinking sugary sodas or juices, try to substitute your former beverages with freshly brewed green tea whenever you can . After all, is there any other drink this magical?
. a lower risk of cancer . regulate blood sugar levels . lower LDL levels (called bad cholesterol) â€˘ lower blood pressure . improved brain function . help with bad breath . stop dental decay bUFn stored fat by increasing metabolism . more beautiful skin and hair "_..... Special Note: Higher quality brands of green tea have lower levels of fluoride, which affect the content quality of total polyphenols and amino acids. That being said, even with a lower quality brand, the benefits still far outweigh not drinking it at all.
WErtNESS Written by Jesse Golden
o/tBa&t That You Should Adopt Into Your Life
One of the first basic principles of ballet is to stand tall. Elongate the entire body by evenly lifting everything up. There is no frumpiness allowed in ballet and a good ballet teacher will re-enforce this with a cane! Seriously.
If you look down, you will fall down , and the same in life. Unless it is written in the choreography, a ballerina is to maintain a long neck and keep her head up, nose to the sky. Even when the gaze turns downward, it is still done with a long, extended back.
Shoulders tend to creep up when we are stressed or holding tension , but it is a ballerina's job to make everything look as if it is effortless. So lift everything up except the shoulders. As you lift up, the shoulders push down away from your ears.
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Always lift up and ill, especially in the midline. This is your center and power source for everything in ballet. It must remain active and strong at all times. ~
Quiet, focus, no complaining, and practice until perfect. Ok, so maybe we should have called this '8 Principles of Ballet' .
NOif THE AVERAGE
'RICH KID '
In January 2014 the 1
RI C H KIDS OF
BEVERLY HILLS debuted on the E! Networkl a network mainly known for hosting the Kardashians, Many assumed the show would tank due to its expected superficiality and lack of storytelling, Little did they know that the show would have incredibly li keable characters and storylines that would generate enough social media buzz to create some of todais favorite young reality stars and influencers, One of the shining stars of the show is Dorothy Wang , the youngest daughter of self-made real estate billionaire Roger Wang. But unlike many rich kids who just wait until their parents hand over their business, Dorothy is using the RKOBH platform to launch her own businesses, in hopes of creating lUxury items and brands that are accessible to everyone. Wang gives us a look into her past and present and tells us how being rich, and now famous, has shaped and changed her life. She also tells us how she handles the haters and how not being the "bad bitch" has gotten her farther in life.
You grew up in Beverly Hills; do you find money is more of an issue now that your platform Rich Kids of Beverly Hills puts your wealth on display? I don't feel like money is an issue now. If anything , "fame" is more interesting to people than the money. I've been dealing with money my whole life. "Fame" has made people more interested in getting closer to me.
How would you describe the average Dorothy Wang fan? I honestly feel like the [Dorothy Wang] fan is the nice girl , the girl next door - the girl that's vulnerable, caring, classy, fun-loving, and genuine, and has more of an innocence than other fans of reality TV. I know there's a lot of pressure to be the "bad bitch" and fight with people on TV. People love that but that's not me. I want to only be true to myself and I would never do
anything just because it's the cool thing to do. I think people who would appreciate me and how I handle those situations are of a different breed.
You get a lot of criticism on your social media platforms. How do you handle haters? I feel like I've come a long way with the haters. It was really hard for me at the beginning to grasp why people hated me - not just haters but also media outlets. There are people that judge us [solely] for the title of the show. Growing up, no one really hated me. I was suddenly getting all of this criticism. But I realize that you can't make everyone happy. Some people aren 't going to like you for their own reasons and they're going to want to say something. Because my life is out there for the public, people think they have the right to comment. I've gotten to a place where I can laugh about is and I don't respond unless it's a factual thing. I get mad if it's wrong ; but even then if I respond, they're still abrasive. How has your life changed since the show debuted? I always say that I feel like the same person , just the situation I'm in is different. The biggest change is that people are more interested in me. When I'm out, they want to start a conversation with me a bit more. A lot of opportunities have come [to me] and it's given me a platform for my own business. That was the goal from the beginning. It's given me a job, something to work for every day.
friendships in your life changed since the show debuted? I'm still friends with the same people. In the beginning it was a little hard, like when they are in my life but didn't want [to be] on television. I
understand 1V isn't for everyone. My friends are very real. They all have their own stuff going on. No one treats me any more special. If anything, they purposely don 't treat me special to keep me humble and normal and are watchful of that, which I appreciate.
Some men find wealthy women intimidating. Has that ever been a problem in your dating life? If so, how do you handle it? It does present itself as a problem every so often. People are intimidated, [wonder] how they can keep up , or other people judge. It's not a good feeling. Guys don't want to feel like they're less than or have something to prove. I think that it takes a very confident and secure person to date someone like me, especially boys our age, as they're not at the height of their career. I try to find confident guys where it won't turn into an issue and who have their own stuff going on. It's important to be a secure, driven , hardworking guy and Dust] believe that they are going to be successful. You are also an entrepreneur with a jewelry line and your rose. How do you hope to expand your business in the future? I would love to sell different things as I have a lot of different interests. I love to cook and bake so I would love a cookbook and an apron line that goes along with it. I'd love to do a lUxury robe line. For me it's important to do the next step correctly. If I put my name on it, I
want it to be perfect and I have to have the time, resources, and energy to make sure everything goes perfectly.
In terms of fashion, do you prefer designer labels or do you prefer to shop wherever you see something that interests you? I'm not stuck up about only wearing designers. I just go by whatever I like in the moment. I love to mix high and low fashion. It's fun and eclectic. It's important not to get stuck.
Who are you favorite designers? I love Givenchy, Saint Laurent, Alexander Wang, and Helmut Lang.
What would we find in your makeup bag? I like Anastasia Beverly Hills eyebrow pencil, Benefit under-eye concealer, and Nars lip liner, lip gloss, and eye pencil. I'm either in full glam or a simple day-to-day look. I like to let my skin breathe. I think it's important to see what your face really looks like and let your natural glow shine through. You can't be done up in a mask of makeup all of the time. Follow Dorothy Wang on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook: @dorothywang
Secret in a bottle
Beverly Hills hair stylist ANGELICA CURIEL has over a decade of experience in the beauty and hair industry. Her passion for beautiful hair is clear in the way she is cares for her clients and helps them achieve and maintain gorgeous hair. Angelica's understanding of healthy hair has led her to formulate secrets to keeping hair growing healthy, shiny, and damage-free. She has gathered the very best natural ingredients and put her special secrets in a bottle: Available on
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WELLNESS Written by Jessica Steinberg
Don't Be a Wimp! ... /WlLfOWV ~ ~ . ., -' . .- .,
It was 2 pm on Valentine1s DaYI and I was so hungry that my head was starting to hurt, You1d think that given the date I was being stood up, But actuallYI I found myself in this situation while trying my best to be a good friend, l
M'i frl8 n
Charlotte had boo~ed a speaking engage ent on Valentine's Day at her temple, giving a talk on "Dating the Aphrodite Way." Naturally, after she spoke, many of the attendees were interested in speaking with her about her topic. Between her conversations, we made a plan to go to lunch, but it soon became clear that we were going to be there for I
a long time. New people kept popping up wanting to speak with her. I tried my best to stick it out, but I was starving since around noon. Finally, at about 2pm , I had to throw in the towel. "I'm going to go and eat!" I told my friend, "I have a headache because I'm so hungry. Let's hang out another time. " Admittedly, I was a little short in my delivery, and I wasn 't quite sure how she would react. To my surprise,
she said "Nice boundaries!" and we made a plan to get together soon. When you think about boundaries, what comes to mind? Likely it's not the geographical kind, but rather the limits that you impose on other people when they've asked you for time that you're not willing to give. During situations that might be considered slightly confrontational, the last thing you'd expect to hear in response to setting these limits is, "Nice boundaries!" But what a great - albeit unusual - compliment. My friend was happy that I was open and clear with her; the same qualities that many of us appreciate from our own friends. Her compliment got me thinking more about boundaries : Why they are actually a positive thing, and why we should embrace our boundaries as an act of self-love. Think about it: How often have you been stretched beyond your boundaries? Maybe you said yes to a project at work, or agreed to do a favor for a friend, or family member. But all the while, you had this lingering gut feeling that it was not something you really wanted to be doing. Women in particular tend to struggle with defining boundaries more than their male counterparts. In fact, one study from the Baylor School of Medicine found that men are more likely to say "no" to requests at work than women.
sure that you are acting in a way that will align with your happiest self and life. Once you identify the things you need to make time for, you'll be better poised to know how much time you're able to give to others, and what boundaries need to be set. For me, I can be quite protective of my time, because I've been in many situations where I've felt my time could be put to better use. For example, when I go to an event I prefer to meet my friends there, because I want to be able to leave when I want to leave. I establish my boundaries without confrontation, and simply suggest what would work better for me.
Establishing boundaries doesn't make you unreasonable. Rather, when you're in touch with and communicate your boundaries, you're showing how well you prioritize needs. Not to mention, when you are the leader in this sort of potentially uncomfortable situation, But what if you're essentially giving someone permission to communicate their someone is wants as well. And that's a relief! Don't be surprised if the tables turn, and this not respectful person also wants you to be receptive of some of his or her needs. of YOUR
BOUNDARIES? That may be a red flag for your relationship with that person.
Why do we go out of our way to say yes, even when it means stretching ourselves thin? Whether it's the desire to be more "go with the flow" and be likeable, or to get ahead at work, it's important to have an awareness of your boundaries before you agree to compromise your time.
Of course, none of us go out with our boundaries all defined, just waiting for them to get pushed. Often times, we only learn what our boundaries are once we've been strung far past them, and finally decide we don't want be in that place again. How do you identify your boundaries? A good way to start is by making a list of the things that it is important for you to have time for each week. Maybe you're a very easygoing person, and there are only a couple things on that list. Regardless, it's important to make
But what if someone is not respectful of your boundaries? That may be a red flag for your relationship with that person. Similarly, have respect for someone else's boundaries, even if you think they are silly or don't agree with them. It's not your place to judge or define someone else's wants.
Setting boundaries is way to align ourselves with a life we love, an empowering act of self-love, and also an incredible way to connect more authentically with those around us. Perhaps it is not a coincidence that the topic came up for me on Valentine's Day, as saying "no" to the things we don't love is really saying "yes" to all the things we do. In the case of having lunch with my friend, I may have been saying "no" to her in that moment, but mostly, I was saying "yes" to myself; "yes" to the time that I value, yes to my health and well-being .
WELLNESS Written by Gwendalyn Augustine
STRENGTHEN YOUR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, AND KEEP THEM Shift your Perspective
CONSTRUCTING Boundaries 5 Signs You Need to Exercise Boundaries • You say Ilyes il when you mean Iinoill or Iinoll when you mean yes , • You feel guilty when you do not agree to help or give someone what they ask for, • You are agreeable in order to be liked • You donlt speak up when you have something to say lI
• You allow others to interrupt YOU or overrule your decisions I
HOW IT FEELS TO NOT HAVE A VOICE Everybody has boundaries; we just need to recognize them and let others know what they are. Not doing so is a feeling of loss of control over your life in any relationship; work, love,
friends, etc .. . It is feeling someone has power over you, the threat of taking away love, losing job, or some sort of emotional or personal loss feeling no control. It is the misguided perception that, "if there is something I can lose, I don't have the option of having boundaries."
First we need to realize, like in Jessica's story, that our loved ones will respect and appreciate our boundaries. People who care about you want to know what you are thinking, feeling, and needing. Often times, those who have no trouble setting their own personal boundaries, assume that you express yours too. They assume that you are coming to the table exactly as you want to . Having boundaries is not only OK, but expected in a healthy relationship.
Steps in the Right Direction Get clear on what you believe in, feel good about, and what you value. Know what you stand for and how you want to live.
Identify moments where you wanted to speak up but didn't; have given more of yourself than you truly wanted to; or even just accepted situations that were uncomfortable for you. Think about the different ways that you ended up in those situations
and the moment that you made the choice .
Be present in your daily life and notice when these moments arise, as they are happening. It may take a while to recognize them before they escalate, but keep practicing . If you are slow in the beginning, don't beat yourself up. Recognizing these moments is a huge first step. Communicate your boundaries. Get comfortable with expressing yourself; practice makes perfect. Whenever you are asked something, give yourself time - take a moment to respond. You are allowed to think about your answer. In that moment, genuinely consider if this is something you will not be "put out" by and are comfortable with. Then answer honestly. In the beginning , it may feel like it goes against every instinct in your body. You will have to act counter-intuitively for a bit. But before long, that feeling will dissipate. In the meantime, just trust the person to appreciate your honesty and to respect you for it.
Love Yourself Don 't aI/ow others to define what is OK for you. When you set boundaries in your life, you will find that insecurity and fear begin to diminish. You will feel more empowered and self-confident because you are communicating your self-worth to those around you. The more you practice staying true to your boundaries, the more love, respect , and support you will find in yourself and in others.
III would like your acceptance, but I don' need it. "
WARNING ... SPEED BUMPS AHEAD! Dealing with Change Congratulations! You have made a commitment to yourself and are growing and shifting as a person . Know that not everyone will be happy with these new changes though . You are changing the relationships you have created, and you can 't expect everyone to be OK with it, no matter how positive those changes may be. Most people will adapt immediately. Your loved ones will love and accept you with these new boundaries. A few people however will weed themselves out and slowly disappear from your life. Either way, be patient and give everyone time to adapt.
It is important to realize that it doesn't matter whether others respond 'positively' or 'negatively' to your voice, because this is about you. You are claiming your power, self-worth, and place in this world . It doesn't help to view someone as 'negative.' You can draw your own conclusion about them , but you must give them room to be who they are as well. If your boundaries don 't work well with theirs, that is fine. And if a relationship ends because of healthy boundaries, then that is not likely a relationship that you would have been happy with in the long run.
Don't compromise your self-respect, happiness, or integrity, simply to keep someone in your life. Yes, you want to be liked, but ultimately you want to be liked for you.
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Katarina VAN DERHAM EVERYTHING Katarina is the founder and CEO of VIVA GLAM Magazine. She wanted to combine her passions, fashion and glamour, to create a guide for women who strive to be glamorous, smart, and classy with a very feminine style. Being a model and a beauty specialist are only two avenues of her expertise. With an exceptionally well-developed threedimensional vision and degrees in Business, Marketing, and Graphic Design, she has created VIVA GLAM Magazine. Katarina shares her expertise and beliefs through her features. "Stay Beautiful!" IG @katarinavanderham FB I katarinavanderham
Bo L. ARNOLD GREAT M IND Bo is a Reiki master, animal communicator, fitness nut, and author of Mood, Food & Gratitude, a new book dedicated to helping us break free from the thinking that causes unhappiness and preventable illnesses. MOOD, FB I bolarnold FOOD Tw itter @boarnold1 -' GRATITUDE lI.Jo..t/--d- 1IJ-,.-w.'(1..;...4
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Angelica CURIEL BEAUlY Angelica has over two decades of experience as a professional hair specialist, holds a degree in fashion design, has created her own line of hair care products, and written dozens of quality articles for VIVA GLAM Magazine. IG @angelicacuriel13
Brianne NEMIROFF EVERYTHING Brianne is not only a writer but also the Online Managing Editor for vivaglammagazine.com. She has interviewed over 200 public figures including Fifth Harmony, Maria Menounos, Nick Carter, and Christina Grimmie. IG & Twitter @briannenemiroff
Christina GALIOTO TRAVEL Christina is a writer, model, entrepreneur, and world traveler. She continues to visit countless bucket list destinations and embarked on business ventures all around the globe. IG @ch ristinagalioto
Candace KITA EVERYTHING Candace is an actress, wine vintner, and writer; writing for VIVA GLAM on every topic possible. She is also a women's safety advocate and has been interviewed by CBS, CNN, 48 Hours, and MSNBC, among others. IG @candace_kita
Donna WONG TRAVEL
Denis Dello STRITTO FOOD Stritto is the Chef at Cui ina at the Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills. He has worked in hotels all over Europe, Brazil, and the U.S. "I am Italian. I became a chef out of passion, not j for ajob." IG @unconventional_cook IG @cul ina
Donna is an avid traveler, travel expert, and has even written for Forbes Travel Guide. Donna is also the owner of allureplus, your five-star worldwide travel provider offering the best in value and personalized service. Her team will manage every aspect of your trip. "making the world yours ... with ease" Affiliate of Protravel and Virtuoso. IG @ allureplus_travel
ERIN ASHLEY W ELLNESS Erin is into martial arts, crystal healing, dance, theatre, and is a lifestyle and wellness writer. She shares her experiences, coping skills, and advice on balance, spirituality, and health. IG @iridescentscarab
Gwendalyn AUGUSTINE EVERYTHING Gwen has been in the magazine industry for years. She is experienced in IP law, travel, and a myriad of random topics. She is the Editor-inChief of VIVA GLAM Magazine and a contributing writer online. IG @vivag lammagazine Twitter @Gwennyfi
Eli WILHIDE W ELLNESS EliistheSeniorCorporateTrainerwiththeAnthonyRobbinsCompanies. He has conducted trainings worldwide on communication, influence, human performance, and business mastery. Eli is also the founder of 7 Figure Body, helping busy achievers get their mind and body on track while maintaining their professional momentum. IG @eliwilhide FB l elirwilhide
Jesse GOLDEN FITNESS Jesse is a devoted mother, Holistic Health Practitioner, Hatha yoga teacher, model, and creator of The Golden Secret essential oil parfume. Jesse has become the face of hope in the health and fitness industry after overcoming Rheumatoid Arthritis. IG @jessegolden
Jessica STEINBERG W ELLNESS Jessica is a health coach, who is passionate about helping people thrive through a plant -based diet, optimal well ness practices, and lifestyle glittered with a limitless amount of fun and enjoyment. IG @jessica.steinberg
Meli has been immersed in the world of private jets and lUxury travel all of her life. Exclusively for VIVA GLAM, she shares her favorite spots, tips, and funny stories as she brings readers along to experience the beauty, fun, and glamour this world has to offer. IG @Missyfit29
Nikki SHARP FOOD Nikki is an internationally known Wellness Expert, Lifestyle Blogger, and Health Coach who transforms peoples lives, starting with her book 5-0ay Real Food Oetox. IG @nikkisharp
Michael-BLU WELLNESS Michael-Blu is a co-founder of Blu Seth Farms, the author of Shifting Points, and coauthor of Woofs of Wisdom and Hello Hollyvvood. Michael is an Inspirationalist, health & wellness expert, Spiritual Guide, speaker, Lifestyle Expert/Coach, Chef, and Skincare Guru. IG @imichaelblu FB I michaelbluonamission
Kim KESSLER TRAVEL Kim is the director of public relations at Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills and has been in public relations for hotels and resorts around the world. Her favorite travel destinations include the Greek islands, Thailand, Argentina, Uruguay, Bali, and South of France. IG @vegantravelista Twitter @Kim_Kessler
Ron RUSSELL FOOD Ron is co-partner in SunCafe Organic, winner of 11 culinary awards, offering living & cooked vegan items prepared with an international rustic flare. For more than 30 years, Ron has advocated a healthy, whole foods, raw, vegan lifestyle for optimum health. IG @suncafeorgan icla
Tanjareen MARTIN FOOD
Steph RENKEMA TRAVEL Almost a year ago, Steph quit her job to travel. She fell in love with it and has not been home since. Steph focuses on going above and beyond in all things travel related .
This Herban Vixen enjoys creating delicious, meatfree comfort foods while educating others on healthier plant-based choices for meals, skincare, and healing. You can currently see her in Bounce TV's sitcom
FAMILY TIME. IG & FB @OfficialTanjareen Twitter
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TRAVEL Written by Kim Kessler
I visited the South last August with a friend and immediately FELL IN LOVE
WITH THE COTE D ' AZUR. We arrived in Nice, France and checked into the historic 38-room Hotel Suisse, overlooking the bay by the charming center of town. We wandered through the famous farmers market at Cours Saleya, with the freshest seasonal produce including squash blossoms, figs, heirloom tomatoes, and spices. This market runs everyday from 6:30 am to 1:30 pm except for Mondays.
enjoyed breakfast at a local restaurant in Nice and then headed by car to the Grand-Hotel du Cap-Ferrat along a scenic route by the sea to the tip of Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat. This is one of the most spectacular hotels in the world resembling an elite, private villa, which became part of the Four Seasons Hotels & Resorts family last May. It is the epitome of French Riviera glamour with an exclusive beach club
and 17 acres of exquisitely groomed gardens with lavender, pine, and citrus groves. The lobby is filled with white marble, chic textures, and expansive glass windows overlooking the Mediterranean. Complimenting these gorgeous view are colorful reproductions of works by French artists, including Picasso, Matisse, Chagall, and Rodin, many who were
regular guests here. Other celebrities who have frequented the hotel include Charlie Chaplin, Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor, and Paul McCartney. The hotel encompasses three buildings, including the 1908 Palace, the contemporary Residence, and the singular Villa RosePierre. I truly loved We had a lovely lunch at La Veranda, under a canopy of 100 year-old Aleppo pine trees with sea views. The chef, knowing my dietary preferences, surprised us with a special vegan afternoon tea presentation, which was delicious and beautiful. This included plantbased tea sandwiches and colorful shaved vegetables in many forms.
OF FRANCE and hope to explore Eze, Cannes, Antibes, Aix en Provence, and more in the near future.
The highlight of our visit to Grand- Hotel du Cap-Ferrat was spending the afternoon at the hotel's Club Dauphin, offering a seawater infinity pool , private cabanas, and access to the water below. Non-hotel guests can rent cabanas for the day or for the entire season, based on availability. We entered Club Dauphin via a funicular down the mountain.
The time spent at Cap-Ferrat was the luxurious South of France hotel experience that I had been dreaming about for years. We departed the Grand-Hotel du Cap-Ferrat to experience Monte Carlo, which was only a 25-minute drive from the hotel. We entered the renowned square and had a glass of Champagne at the Hotel de Paris. After a walk around the Casino de Monte Carlo in the glamorous Belle Epoque building, we drove to Saint-Tropez, which took approximately two hours. The next day was spent at the Flower Power party at Nikki Beach in the beach town of Ramatuelle. The ambiance was very chic with plush lounge chairs, a swimming pool, and rustic outdoor restaurant. The day began with very relaxed music and ended up as one of the premier parties of the summer season. Later that night, we wandered through the narrow streets of Saint -Tropez, only accessible by foot, and dined at a Moroccan restaurant. Salama restaurant was filled with the most stylish Parisians on holiday. The menu had ample vegan options, including a lentil salad and delicious curry with vegetables. Afterwards, we went to the Five-Star Hotel
t:}zaJtd- ~tet du ~p- cfhzzat
Byblos, which is a member of The Leading Hotels of the World. There we had a cocktail before proceeding to enter the exclusive club, Les Caves du Roy, which was filled with people from around the world. The last day of our trip, we enjoyed brunch at Bagatelle, back in Ramatuelle. This is a scenic restaurant and daytime beach club on the ocean with great music. I had the freshest heirloom tomato salad possible and the chef prepared a vegetable pasta dish that I still dream about. Their weekend brunch attracts a very fun crowd, so we stayed for a few hours people watching and appreciating all of the creative ways they serve Champagne . I truly loved the South of France and hope to explore Eze, Cannes, Antibes, Aix en Provence, and more in the near future.
TRAVEL Written by Candace Kita
MOST ROMANT C GETA AY C~f;/
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Nicknamed liTHE GARDEN ISLAND!!} Kauai is known for its lush} tropical beauty and year-round ideal climate , It is geographically the oldest of the main Hawaiian Islands and is the fourth largest island in Hawaii, So scenic is Kauai} that many movies have been filmed tne such as Jurassic Park} North} George of the Jungle} and Pirate8~~ the Caribbean, But perhaps Kauai is most known for being the Illsland of Romance l} as it provides the perfect backdrop for a romantic getaway for you and your loved one, My partner and I visited Kauai in the late summer when the temperatures were a perfect , balmy 85 degrees and the light trade winds blew gently. Upon landing , the first thing we noticed was the abundance of wild chickens , even within the perimeters of the airport! The official bird of Hawaii is the Nene goose, but locals joke that it is the chicken! They were originally brought to Kauai b y Polynesians and beg a n to thrive on the
because t.;~;;:;;;o;;;;;;;iii--"'--: they have no natural .!; predators. Tourists love to feed them , so you will see and hear many feral chickens throughout your stay. Some Hawaiians joke that they suffer from "chicken insomnia" because they crow so often and wake up the local population!
Fro m the airport , we made our way to Poipu that is located on the southern side of the Island . This side of Kauai is known as "the sunny side" because most days are sunny and warm as opposed to the north, which is known for sporadic, daily tropical showers. Poipu Beach is a popular tourist destination known for its diving , snorkeling, surfing , and beach combing. Here, the water is a year round 80 degrees and crystal clear. Divers can see an array of tropical fish and many tourists are privileged to view endangered monk seals basking themselves in the warm sun. And perhaps you will be one of the lucky few to find a rare "Sunrise Shell of Kauai". These shells represent the beauty and spirit of Hawaii and are every beachcomber's desire and found only on the island of Kauai. We were staying at the world famous Grand Hyatt Resort and Spa in Poipu. Here, they offer traditional Hawaiian luaus and we enjoyed live Hawaiian music, dance, and story telling each night.
musubi, a Japanese rice ball with seaweed. Hawaii is a mix of Hawaiian natives, Chinese, Japanese, Portuguese, and other races, a true melting pot. And its food reflects the mix of cultures and people. You will find Japanese soba noodles at the local McDonald 's. You will see Chinese dumplings in the grocery store. And Hawaii is also famous for its shaved ice that is usually topped with a scoop of ice cream and condensed milk. We had our shaved ice with
What a perfect place to enjoy the company of others. If you are the more active sort, Kauai also offers zip lining over the jungle canopy, canoeing, off road excursions, horseback riding, hiking, and swimming in waterfalls. There are also world-famous golf courses and shopping. There are so many things to do, but we were
homemade macadamia nut ice cream and rainbow ice. What a refreshing treat it was after being in the sun all day! Life is much slower in Hawaii than on the mainland. And perhaps this is why so many visitors travel each year to this island getaway. "Island time" is a phrase used quite often. It refers to the pace of the island; there is no hurry and you have time to reflect on life, notice things around you, and simply slow down.
The swimming pools on the property were surrounded by a lush , tropical paradise that ended at the ocean 's edge. This provided the perfect backdrop for our romantic weekend . We soaked up
town for authentic Hawaiian cuisine. This included a daily "Hawaiian plate lunch". I wondered exactly what this was. To find out , we drove the short 20 minutes to Old Koloa Town where quaint, old
HAWAII is a mix of Hawaiian natives, Chinese, Japanese, Portuguese, and other races, a true melting pot. And its food reflects the mix of cultures and people. the sun, lounged in a hammock under two swaying palm trees, drank tropical drinks by the pool , and got the ultimate deep, dark tan. Most days, we had the opportunity to drive into
plantation buildings have been renovated into shops, restaurants, and a history center. Here, we stood in line each day for a plate lunch that consisted always of two starches , rice and potato salad , plus a main course. And we lovedthe daily
A Taste of the Old West at Sagebrush AnnieJs Vineyard Far away from city life, is a long stretch of highway that leads to Ventucopa, CA, It is here that you can find some of Central California's most superior wines, Cuyama Valley has been long hailed as a premiere area forwinemaking , and together they created, Sagebrush Annie's. arry and Karina Hogan of Sagebrush Annie's Many have said upon visiting Sagebrush Annie 's have been making award-winning wine for that you feel like you 've come home and are instantly over a decade in a remote area that is mostly comfortable and welcomed. Old cowboy boots line inhabited by wildlife. In fact, Larry jokes that Ventucopa has a population of 900. That is, the ceiling. Piles of books are casually spread about. if you count the rabbits, coyotes, A Gorman painting hangs crooked on and bobcats! The area of Ventucopa the wall. Larry and Karina are the most The area of Ventucopa is rich in friendly of people and you feel like you 've is rich in history and its history and its people are proud known them forever. Conversations at of the area they inhabit and the PEOPLE ARE PROUD Sagebrush Annie's range from wine wine they produce. Many years to cooking, politics, wildlife, history, of the area they inhabit ago, this land was inhabited by language, and more. You never know what to expect and before you know it, the Chumash and Yokut Indians and the wine they you're engaging with strangers over an and was considered sacred ground. Today, Ventucopa looks excellent bottle of wine. produce. like you stepped into an episode of Lonesome Dove. Visiting Larry Larry will pour wine in your glass and take and Karina will take you back to the old pioneer days you on a tour of the property. Walking through the vineyards of a century ago. at sunset is an experience you will never forget. The vineyards meet the mountains as far as the eye can see and the sky is quite often pink and purple. Larry will tell you about Larry was a rancher for over 30 years in the Dallas/ Fort the land, the history of the area, winemaking and what Worth area. But it was here he met his wife, Karina,
which to camp . Sleeping under the stars in a country oasis is splendid in fall or spring! The Hogans produce approximately 700 cases of wine a year. And they have won several awards over the years. In fact, Sagebrush Annie's has 84 gold medal award winning wines. Highly recommended is the 2011 Sagebrush Annie's Cabernet Sauvignon that has won almost 10 awards including the 2015 Gold Medal at the Los Angeles International Wine Competition, 2015 Gold Medal at the Pacific Rim International Wine Competition, and the 2014 Double Gold Medal at the Tasters Guild International Wine Competition. Be sure to taste the 2009 Sagebrush Annie's Zinfandel that won gold medals at the San Diego International Wine Competition and the Tasters Guild International in 2012.
makes his wine so amazing. Don 't forget to tour the dance hall that he built himself. He can even tell you the exact number of bricks he used to create the floor in the banquet room. And he knows each and every rock that he personally placed on the property. There are literally thousands of them! This is a perfect place for a country wedding or family reunion. Although there is no hotel close by, Larry often offers the grounds on
Always looking for new interests, Larry has recently lent his expertise in wine making to a new label, Hollywood & Wine. This boutique wine is being created by Larry and entrepreneur Douglas Jeffery. This new label combines great wine with the glamour and excitement of Hollywood. Larry and Karina would love for you to visit Sagebrush Annie's Wine Tasting room. You have to make an appointment though and believe me, it is well worth it! Karina also hosts a once a month dinner for friends and family. She is a trained chef and they incorporate their wine perfectly into each aspect of the menu.
To experience a taste of the Old West come to life, go to their official website:
Contact info 818 669 3589 Email: ChaseStarr27@hotmail.com
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LVH GLOBAL True Luxury Vacation Home Experience
TRAVEL Written by Candace Kita
Disneyland1s Best Kept Secret
., . ' and iriends" 33 with AbigaIl DIsney "Dining at Club
Disneylands best kept secret is someplace most of us have never even heard of. In fact you have probably passed by the non-descript door many times while visiting the Magic Kingdom and never even knew it was there, In New Orleans Square/ next door to Pirates of the Caribbean / is the entrance to one of the MOST EXCLUSIVE CLUBS IN THE WORLD/ Club 33,
ocated at 33 Royal Street, Club 33's front actors, and business leaders have all had the pleasure of dining at Club 33. door does not attract attention. This is intentional. A plain green door with the You must be a member or invited by a member to dine number "33" on it is all that you see while at this exclusive club . An invitation also includes free entrance to both Disneyland and California Adventure walking by. Most tourists pass without even noticing it. However, behind this door is for the day. And a formal dress code for dining is strictly enforced. a 5 star, members only dining club that The DOOR currently has a waiting list of at least 14 years to join. I had the opportunity to visit this MAGICALLY exclusive club through a friend of mine Walt Disney originally designed Club opened and inside who is friends with Abigail Disney, Walt Disney's grandniece. A charming, funny, 33 to host corporate sponsors of Disneyland, including Carnation, was a world quite and friendly person, I was immediately impressed by Abigail 's kind, warm, and General Electric, Hallmark Cards, and unlike the rest of open personality. She has a smile that other companies that have helped to will light up a room and her easy-going finance various attractions throughout Disneyland. the park. Corporate members must pay personality makes anyone feel instantly an initiation fee of $40,000.00 to join at ease. Abigail was the granddaughter of Roy Disney, Walt's brother. Together, her grandfather and individual members pay $27,000.00. Then the annual membership fee is $12 ,000 .00. This does and Walt built Disneyland in Anaheim, CA. And , after Walt's death, Roy continued to create his brother's not include the cost of your meal and alcohol when you visit the club. The current membership stands vision and completed Disneyworld in Orlando, FL in at 487 , but could increase to 500. 1971.
Presidents of the United States , foreign dignitaries,
We were allowed access to Disneyland and California
Adventure for the day. So, after spending many hours riding The Radiator Springs Racers, the Disneyland Train, and Star Tours, we were told to meet at the door of Club 33 promptly at 6:45pm. Mindful of the strict dress code, we changed into our Sunday best, long dresses and heels. We pressed a buzzer on the intercom and were asked to give our names. The door magically opened and inside was a world quite unlike the rest of Disneyland . Disneyland was loud with the hustle and bustle of several thousand people in the park. Inside Club 33, it was quiet, calm, and serene. We were immediately greeted with ice water and cooling towels. Club 33 was recently remodeled last year and the new entrance brings you into a courtyard that is reminiscent of New Orleans. We relaxed and had cocktails before ascending a large, winding staircase to the main foyer. We also had the option of going to the main dining level via an antique glass elevator. This elevator is a replica of one Walt Disney had seen while on vacation in Paris. The owner refused to sell the elevator, so Walt had one designed for Club 33. Disney engineers went to the hotel, took precise measurements of the elevator, and created the replica. It is so concise, that even a sample of the finish was taken to match the original exactly. We were then directed to the main dining room that seats 65 people total. Waiters were dressed in formal attire including white gloves. You were served properly from the left. We were told to expect dinner to take a leisurely two hours. We dined for three. It was truly an experience in lUxury. Executive Chef Andrew Sutton prepared a dinner especially for our group, The Canal Street Dinner. This included 5 courses. The first course included sauteed asparagus with ricotta cheese dumplings, Marcona almonds, and asparagus nage. The second course was a delightful salad of frisee , coastal strawberries, avocado, candied pistachio and buttermilk dressing, the third course was a black-eyed pea cassoulet. The main course was filet mignon, scalloped potatoes, and collard green pesto
- or a spring risotto for vegetarians. And the dessert was a decadent organic chocolate Marquise and passion fruit sorbet with pecan brittle. During dinner, Abigail told us stories of her childhood growing up as a member of the Disney clan . This included visiting Walt's apartment that is located above the firehouse on Main Street. It is here that her grandfather would have a giant stack of E-Ticket coupons and would hand them out to all of the grandchildren to play in the park. As she is a film director, she also told us about her new film, 'Armor of Light' , which follows an Evangelical minister, Rob Schenck, and the mother of a teenage shooting victim and asks the question, is it possible to be both pro-life and pro-gun at the same time? After much sCintillating conversation, we went out on the balcony and had a perfect view of the evening's fireworks overlooking Tom Sawyer Island. And after dinner, Abigail made an announcement that she had something very special in store for us. We were all going to walk to Main Street for a tour of Walt's private apartment! The apartment is usually open only to members of the Disney family, so this was a special treat indeed! A Disney host guided us to the firehouse and we went behind the scenes to gain entrance into the apartment. The unit itself is only approximately 550 square feet.
And it is decorated with red carpet, drapes, and furniture. We were told this was designed by Lillian Disney and is decorated in early 1900's Kansas motif. There are two small couches that are pull out beds, a small kitchenette and bathroom. I was surprised to see Walt's own cups and saucers in the cabinet. And Lillian's footstools that were meticulously hand needle pointed by a longtime family maid. There were many photos of the Disney family and Abigail told us who each family member was, along with funny stories to accompany each one. It was a charming look back to a time when Walt was building Disneyland in the 1950's. He stayed here because in the 1950's most of Anaheim was orange groves and there were no hotels nearby.So, Walt had his apartment built in order to stay on site during the construction of Disneyland. This tiny time capsule brought back so many memories for Abigail and we enjoyed hearing each and every one. What a wonderful evening we had at one of the most exclusive dining clubs in America. It was truly a magical event that I will remember for the rest of my life. And with limited membership, if you have an opportunity to visit Club 33, it will be an insider's look behind mysterious locked doors that you will never forget.
Seek The Barriers That Inhibit Love Lookingfor Love For most of my life, I have been looking for love and yet it has eluded me. For instance, I have looked for it in hobbies, like bodybuilding. I certainly love my time in the gym; it's peaceful. In fact, it's equivalent to a form of mediation for me, but I don't feel loved because of the gym. I've also looked for love in my job, thinking if I loved my job I would feel love. And I do love my job, but I don't feel love from it either. Material things offered the promise of love as well. I love my home and I love my car, and yet I don't feel loved with them in my life. Of course, the biggie has been looking for love from others. I thought if I was in a relationship I would feel loved, and sometimes I do, but not always. Certainly expecting others to love me hasn't proven to be the jackpot of love I thought it would be. Real love eludes me even with all these things to do, be, and have. It seems I am a classic example of the old song, "Looking for love in all the wrong places." So where is love if it's not in what I do, who I can be, and what I have? Perhaps all of these things are nothing more than
obstacles, or barriers, to love. Perhaps we are focused more on obtaining love than on experiencing love. Maybe love just isn't out there in the having, being, and doing . Of course, if love's not out there, it must be somewhere else. Perhaps love is within us rather than outside of us. Maybe, in order to experience love, we have to remove the barriers to love and then we can simply experience it in all its healing, connection, joyful glory.
Barriers to Love We have seen that we mainly look outside ourselves for love whether it is in having things, doing things, or expecting others to love us. These are obvious barriers to love as we expend quite a bit of energy and give up our lives in the pursuit of them. But, even more than all that, the biggest barriers to love are our beliefs about ourselves and others. Even if we stopped looking for love in our things, accomplishments, and other people, we would still have to deal with the beliefs and thoughts we have. The barriers that come from our beliefs include judgment, blame, resentment, and expectations. It is our involvement in these that keep us from experiencing love.
Let's get an idea of how these barriers work. One example is when we look at someone and judge them for how they dress, what they look like, their weight, the color of their skin, or anything else where we may apply derogatory, judgmental ideas, thoughts, or words. In this moment of judgment, we have just put a barrier up against love and we automatically are not going to be able to experience love. Another example is when we blame others. All blame is a hidden method of relieving ourselves of any responsibility. In moments of blame, where anger, rage, and separation is standard fare, we have placed barriers to love between us. Resentment tells the same story of barriers.
To experience love, we need to remove the barriers and the love will shine through automatically. This is because we are the love we seek.
We are Love It is hard to imagine that the love we seek is within us. However, at our core, we are nothing less than the most powerful force in the universe-love itself. Saying this sounds lovely, but is hard to imagine for a few reasons . One reason is that we are trained away from this deep knowing within us. This serves to turn our attention to all of the having, being, and doing. The second reason is that we don't know how to experience love on a regular basis. We certainly don't believe it is possible to live a life filled with the peace of love. But we do experience love many times throughout our lives. For instance, when we look at a newborn baby, whether it is our own child , grandchild, niece, nephew, or other similar relation to us. Without words, without judgments, we love. In these moments, we are experiencing love. The same happens when we look at our pets, when the beauty of nature surrounds us, or when we are grateful for the gifts of life. In these moments, there are no barriers to love. Instead, we experience love openly, easily and freely. The only way we could experience this pure love is if we were already that. And we are.
Expectations are similar to judgment, blame, and resentment, but with a little twist. With expectations, we may find a partner and expect Knowing we are love itself becomes more and more them to love us and they evident each time we remove the barriers to love. That's probably will. But because we expect them to love us, because experiencing love has a snowball effect. The they will let us down at some point, unable to meet all more we experience it, the bigger it becomes in our of the expectations. This will be through no fault of their lives. Pretty soon , it's all we know. The judgments, own. It will be because of the expectation. You see, expectations We certainly don't believe it is POSSIBLE TO LIVE A LIFE are a funny thing; they filled with the PEACE OF LOVE. have very specific requirements and all requirements must be met or the expectation is seen as not being met. In blaming, resentment, and expectations are a thing of that moment, the partner is considered unloving. But the past as we rarely entertain the old beliefs in favor no one can meet all of the requirements of another of honoring our authentic selves. person 's expectations all the time. It is exhausting and, in fact, not possible. So we expect others to do what In order to experience love, we just have to remove is impossible and then we believe they don't love us the barriers to love and love automatically appears. It's when they don't meet our impossible expectations. that simple and that easy. Both simplicity and ease are characteristics of love. It may not seem possible, but The other issue with expectations is that they are a it is . I encourage you to remove barriers to love every moving target. They tend to change with the wind. chance you get; then you will see for yourself. What we What was okay last week is no longer okay this week. are taught to believe about ourselves and others is not It seems with expectations that no matter what a true for any of us. So, don't just remove the barriers partner does to meet them, they fail. So love fails. But to love where others are concerned, do the same for expectations are not love, they are barriers to love. yourself. You deserve it.
Published on Jun 27, 2017
This is the 2nd half of a flip issue. Please look for the 1st half to see the complete issue. Cover model Scarlett Burke, model Anna Kathari...