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TUESDAY January 27th, 2009

ISSUE 194

vision@yusu.org

FOUR TIME GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR

FRANZ KARL FERDINAND PILKINGTON SCENE

Nicole cooke P 24

P 16

GUANTรNAMO VICTIM'S MESSAGE TO YORK STUDENTS:

DON'T STOP PROTESTING

BY MARTIN WILLIAMS AND EMILY FAIRBAIRN

RADICAL STUDENT PROTEST has hit the University of York. York students have been encouraged to demonstrate by former Guantรกnamo detainee Moazzam Begg, who is speaking in the uni tomorrow. In an exclusive interview with Vision, Begg insists that this "student activism must continue." Having endured three horrific years in detention centres, Begg is keen for young people not to become apathetic to pressing political issues.

This comes amidst increased student radicalism, with York students embarking on hunger strikes and protest marches to raise awareness for various causes. Meanwhile, delegates have last week stormed the stage at an NUS conference demonstrating against Israeli actions in Gaza. The increase in student activism has been dubbed a "return to radicalism, fuelled by social networking and blogs," by The Guardian.

FULL STORY ON PAGE 4

> RALLYING CRY TO STUDENTS > YORK PROTESTS ONGOING > NATIONAL RETURN TO RADICALISM

PLUS: THE LOW-DOWN ON YORK'S HUNGER STRIKERS (P7)


2NEWS

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

ACADEMIC HITS BACK AT MISLEADING ARTICLE

NO-USE PICKING BONES your BY JOE BURNHAM

week 3

QUOTE OF THE WEEK "The man's got size 14 feet but he Viennese waltzes like a pro." Tom Scott on Matt Burton's natural ballroom dancing ability.

GOOD WEEK bad week GOOD WEEK

The courtyard

Minor culinary blips aside, the much trumpeted YUSU bar has been a roaring success thus far.

BAD WEEK

Public urinaters

Unbelievable! It's a nanny state. We cant even defecate our very own adopted streets anymore!

the number cruncher 2450

Number of pints sold in The Courtyard duting its first week of opening.

3

Presidents of the GSA since last November.

2

Number of ex Vision writers pulling scoops in this Sunday's News of the World.

AN ANGRY ACADEMIC has Photo by Jess McGowan accused Nouse of giving "a false impression of the facts." John Bone, a representative of the Economics Department, has hit back at Nouse regarding an article published in last Tuesday's Nouse edition. In the article entitled, “Further assessment delays lead to economics criticism” it claims that “student dissatisfaction still prevails,” concerning the delays the Economics department has had in handing back exam scripts. Mr. Bone reacted by sending an email to the entire student population enrolled within the Economics department. Bone slammed Nouse in the email, claiming that he was “disappointed but not surprised,” by the article. If this wasn’t enough, the enraged tutor went on to claim Nouse had mislead readers by quoting him saying, “if you really have to wait 19 weeks then we are not following our own policy.” Bone argues that this was extracted from an email sent to an individual student almost a year ago and which if read out of context gives “a false impression of the facts both as they are now and as they were then.” The apparent dispute between the two sides has raised fresh questions about the legitimacy of The mass email is not the first Bone quotations within the student newspaper. has sent. It echoes that of one sent last Nouse have defended the article in a April where the professor complained that statement saying “Nouse stands by its it was “not helpful to take your views or reporting,” arguing that “it could not complaints straight to Nouse.” He pleaded possibly be interpreted as giving ‘a false for students to try “the normal channels impression of the facts as they are now’.” within the department.”

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With regards to the actual delays the article within Nouse complains about, the exam scripts in question were handed back a mere one-day late. In an official statement, Bone apologised saying that, “any delay, however small, will have been a source of frustration.”

Tuesday November 11, 2008

Editors: Mike Regan Joe Burnham

Deputy News: Nicola Chapman Ruth Gallie

Lifestyle Editors: Rachel Knox Joanne Rea

Deputy Editors: Emily Hodges Andy McGrath

Comment Editor: Harry Pearce Daniel Hewit

Deputy Lifestyle: Gemma Williams Mark Jaques

Scene Editor: Andy Nichols

Deputy Comment: Sammy Cowley

Managing Editors: Patrick Harte

Features Editors: Josie Whittle Jake Souce

News Editors: Emily Fairbairn Martin Williams

Deputy Features: Kelly Holt Alice Ankary

Style Editors: Helen Nianias Immy Willets

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 2nd 7pm V/045

Guardian Student Newspaper of the Year 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2007 Deputy F&D: Anna Kotenko Travel Editor: Alex Dale Deputy Travel: Zoya Pasha Andy Henrick

Deputy Style: Jude Hull

Sports Editor: Jim Norton Michael Sneddon

Food & Drink Editor: Sally Daniels

Photo Editors: Juliet Burns Annie Law Terry Li

Sub Editors: Martin Williams Ash March Scene Section Editors listed in pullout Call us: 01904 433720 vision@yusu.org Opinions expressed in Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, Senior Editorial Team, membership or advertisers. Every effort is

made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2008. Printed by Yorkshire Web


YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday January 27, 2009

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW: CAMPUS KEN BIDS FAREWELL

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CUTTING OFF KEN-NECTIONS BY WILLIAM WAINWRIGHT

YORK HAIRDRESSER ‘Campus Ken’ has hung up his clippers after 25 years. The university institution, real name Ken Fairburn, 64, has had to take early retirement from cutting the hair of students and staff in order to have a hip operation. Speaking to Vision, Ken had a special message for students: “I’m missing you. The staff and students have always been good to me. The university is a great place and I shall miss being a part of it.” But Ken had a final warning for university administrators, commenting that, although he loved being here, campus services are becoming increasingly centralised and commercially driven. “The fact that everything has to come from the University is ridiculous… You have to give students what they want.” Ken became a much-loved campus institution over the years and covered his walls with huge collection of postcards and mementoes from students and staff. “It was quite upsetting to take the

cards down to be honest, with just Malcolm the Swan for company. I will still see some of the staff, but will really miss the students.” This sentiment has been reciprocated by students. Regular customer Matt Hallam said “he was a fine hairdresser and always good for a chat. He is irreplaceable.” Fellow student customer David Attwood also reflected on his departure: “Few could wield those clippers like Campus Ken. He will be missed.” Despite a few differences of opinion with the University authorities over the years, he bears no ill-feeling about the circumstances of his departure. “I was due to retire this summer, but I have put the operation off for so long that it was forced upon me in the end. I could have come back for three months but it would involve saying goodbye all over again.” Campus Ken was pleased to hear of the opening of the long awaited YUSU venue, The Courtyard. “I’ve been pushing for something like that for years, where students can come together.” Ken’s days of cutting hair on campus stretch

back to the days when big acts such as Bob Geldof and Jools Holland could be attracted to perform. Ken is now a month into the threemonth recovery period after taking the operation shortly after Christmas. “I’m bored stiff at the moment and am looking forward to getting out on to the golf course.” Once he is able to drive again, Ken will be visiting campus to see the many friends he has met during his time at the university.

shh!

Wh luc o ' s spo ky lathe w i t t t e d o dy p r eh YU ut Tom s i d e SU Sco n t tt?

HITCHED FOR THE HITCH

POLICE TELL STUDENTS: PISS OFF

We're all going on a summer

UR-IN TROUBLE

HOLI-GAY

Lovebirds: Alexander and Benjamin

BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN

PEEING IN PUBLIC is to be cracked down on, North Yorkshire Police have warned. Police were prompted to move against this particular student habit after an upset York resident sent them photos of students caught in the act, found on Facebook. Quite how they discovered the evidence is unclear. In a recent email from YUSU Services and Finance Officer Matt Burton he reminds students that “urinating in the streets… is an offence you may be prosecuted for”. This is bad news for some York students, who like nothing better than ending a night out by relieving themselves on the pavement. Last term Vision reported similar sightings of a ‘Phantom

Pooer’. One disgusted second year confides to Vision that he once had the misfortune of coming across such a student mid-pee outside popular Heslington pub The Charles: “I saw that she was standing in a puddle, but I didn’t put two and two together. I shook her hand and went back to eating my crisps. I was talking to her for a bit and only afterwards did I hear her say ‘that was rather unlady-like; my tights are ruined’. She was covered in pee. I went home feeling queasy.” Yet it seems that the restriction on urinating al-fresco has led to even more revolting activity within student blocks. Last week a resident of Derwent D-block “missed

BY RUTH GALLIE

the toilet,” much to the disgust of fellow residents and the cleaners. “The cleaners understandably had a fit when they found it and

“THE UNIVERSITY of York’s first ever sham wedding charity stunt” has been promised by BY two first years hoping to raise money for the o annual Hitch not s to Morocco. i ch a m p u y h c W s Alexanit r u i b u r le der Longos tro e n ce i th and Benwas with acial j a m i n le for r entb they c M c E l law se re a r e downey abu refush a v e ly? ing to promised move to enter it,” says into a civil one first partnership providyear Dering they can raise £1000 of w e n t e r. donations for Link Com“The worst thing munity Development. is… it’s a number two.” “We were just walking back from Morrisons one night and something came up about marriage,

shh!

and we thought, ‘yeah, that’s a good way of raising money’”, says Alexander. The French and Linguistics students have made plans for a ceremony followed by a big party in York following their return from the Hitch, providing their target is reached. Tickets for those wishing to witness the two friends becoming legally bound will be sold to raise more money. Alexander has yet to tell his family of the wedding plans. “I’m sure they’ll be fine though” he added. However Benjamin’s mum had the shock of discovering the Facebook group, “Hitched for the Hitch!!!”. He said “At first she got really worried about the legal side of things but now she just

thinks it’s funny”. Although the pair are looking forward to what they’re sure will be a great adventure, they both feel that the Hitch is in aid of a very worthwhile cause. The Link charity works with schools and their communities in the most impoverished areas of Ethiopia, Ghana, Malawi, South Africa and Uganda. They commented: “Thanks to Link Community Development over half a million people so far in Africa have received a better education, have achieved more at school, and have a better chance of a job; and we want to help keep this great cause going!”. To sponsor Alexander and Benjamin, visit www.justgiving.com/alexandben


4NEWS

We read them... ...so you don't have to Arrest Fest.

A FIGHT at an Oxford Uni event descended into chaos when both participants tried to make citizens arrests on each other. The Oxford Student reports that it all kicked off when a former student tried to intervene when he saw another student racially abusing bouncers. A physical fight between the two students then ensued. At this point, a mass crowd had gathered to witness the events. In a manic attempt to control the situation, the former Oxford Student endeavoured to make a citizens arrest by sitting on the wayward student and reading him his rights. The violent student then attempted to turn this around on the other and tried to make a citizens arrest on him as well. After ten minutes of “fighting”, Police arrived to calm both men down. One officer was heard telling the violent student to “stop crying, you’re not a bird.”

That'll Poo It Abandoned by his drinking pals, a Cambridge student was forced to fight his way out of a locked bar reports Varsity. After some heavy alcohol consumption, the student's friends failed to notice that he had not returned from the bathroom and they moved on to their next drinking destination. The abandoned student awoke from his drunken slumber at the toilet bowl to find it was 3:00am and the bar had been locked for the night. With his limited resources, he decided the only means of escape was hurling a chair at a window. His adventure wasn't over though; his taxi driver was alarmed by the wound he bore to his hand and called the medical services who, in turn, called the authorities. Luckily for the student, he was cleared of charges as it was deemed that he was breaking out not in.

George Go-away Much controversy has been provoked at the University of Edinburgh after news broke that Firebrand politician, George Galloway, has entered the race for University Rector, reports STUDENT. Some students are amused by the idea of a man, who was willing to “purr and mew,” in imitation of a cat on Celebrity Big Brother 2006, standing for the prestigious role. However others are outraged by his candidacy. One student remarked “how on earth is he a candidate? He is a vile creature who works for Press TV, a propaganda vehicle of the Iranian government." Another angrily condemned him as a “ridiculous Champagne socialist".

By Nicola Chapman and Ruth Gallie

MESSAGE FROM GUANTANAMO VICTIM BY MARTIN WILLIAMS FORMER GUANTÁNAMO DETAINEE, Moazzam Begg, has encouraged York students to join the wave of radical student activism that is sweeping the country. Prior to a speech at the university tomorrow, Begg has described student protests as “something that needs to continue,” in an exclusive interview with Vision. Recently 16 universities have held protests over Gaza with similar action planned for York. Hunger strikes have hit campus and political societies will this weekend be holding a protest walk from Selby to York. Moazzam Begg’s comments come shortly after Barack Obama ordered the closure of Guantánamo Bay, where Begg was incarcerated and tortured for nearly two years. He praised Obama, saying “not only do I welcome it, I say it’s high time... the people being held in Guantánamo should be released back to their families and be able to live out the remaining years of their lives without cages and shackles and torture.” But despite this, he has warned students not be optimistic “until we see people being held to account for what they did.” He said that “young people have begun to, around this country, recognise what has been done.” Begg’s encouragement of student protest has been backed by YUSU’s Policy and Campaigns Officer Tom Langrish who told Vision that YUSU was “willing to hear lots of ideas of how we can get students active.” A return to student radicalism hit a peak last week when an NUS conference had to be evacuated after students took over the stage holding Palestinian flags, demonstrating over Gaza. Begg warned students not to become apathetic to human rights and humanitarian issues, saying “Students can’t let their goals in life, which may be of other direction, turn away from the reality of what they need to do.” Moazzam Begg maintains that protests and demonstrations must continue amongst students as he believes human rights issues are far from solved. “There are other prisons

BEGG BEGS FOR ACTIVISM “Interviews were conducted in an environment of generated fear, resonant with terrifying screams of fellow detainees... [there was] compounded use of racially and religiously prejudiced taunts.”

- Moazzam Begg on his treatment at Guantanamo

>Born

around the world that are run by the United States of America, that indeed even in the United Kingdom we have people held arbitrarily, without charge, without trial here. And the notion that people can be held this way needs to be challenged by all normal-thinking people.” York’s Law Society will be hosting a talk by Begg tomorrow where he will speak on human rights issues and his experiences in Guantánamo Bay, with Al Jazeera journalist Sami El Haj who was also detained in the detention centre and Christopher

MOAZ ZAM B EGG: P gham

Birmin

>Mov 1968 ROFIL ed to Afgah E nistan >Arre sted t o s e t up a in Af schoo gahnis picion l tan in of bein g 2 a 0 n 02 b >Held Al Qu y CIA eada m for 2 on su embe years was t r sat Gu orture antan d. omo >One Bay, of nin where e Britis >Rele h he m uslims ased 2 held in 005 w >Has it t hout c he pris a wife harge on and 3 >Spok childr en esper son Cage for Prison prison ers (w or r ww.ca ights gepris organ oners isation .com) Arendt, a former guard in Guantánamo. Begg's talk at the university will be held at 6pm on January 28th in P/X/001 (Physics Exhibition Centre).

OUR SURVEY SAYS... BY NICOLA CHAPMAN AND RUTH GALLIE

SHOCKING FIGURES revealed by a recent Vision show that almost 60% of students do not feel represented in student politics. One first year English student expressed the sentiments of many when she told Vision: “If you were to ask me now what it is that YUSU does, I really wouldn’t have a clue. I know they organise events around campus but what else?” The figures come as another devastating blow to YUSU as they come at the same time as a decrease in student participation in college politics. After the autumn elections Goodricke JCRC have been left with 15 positions unfilled, forcing by-elections. Even now

Photo by Shane T. McCoy, U.S. Navy

student press

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

they are still searching for reps for Equipment, Sponsorship, Posters and Publicity and Secretary. Goodricke students have shown no interst in standing for these roles. Goodricke College chair, Dan Walker has tried to explain the lack of enthusiasm from his college. He said “Last year a lot of the committee were second years and I think running for the JCRC in the first term can seem a bit intimidating for Freshers but we’ve got a number of people interested in the remaining positions.” Halifax College have also suffered severe gaps in their committee, with a total of 15 unfilled spaces also left unfilled on their JCRC, including LGBT, International, Environment and Secretary. This lack of participation in JCRC politics is reflected

by another statistic found in the survey. Over 90% of students asked, would not stand for a high profile position such as College Chair or YUSU President. There is the suggestion that one reason for this is that stu-

dent politics is too male dominated, with 65% of students surveyed agreeing with this opinion. Rory Shanks, YUSU Societies and Communications Officer, has hit back at Vision’s findings, saying: “Student politics is representative. I don’t think it’s male dominated...I would hope students vote based on character, not gender.”

Do you feel represented in student politics?

No Yes Don't Know


YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday February 24th, 2009

Harassed staff member speaks out:

I AM NOT A RACIST BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN

ACCUSATIONS OF HARASSMENT have been made by a University employee, after an outcry was raised over a photograph he posted on Facebook. The staff member claims he is being persecuted because of his stance on the Gaza conflict. He believes that it is for this reason that the photograph he posted has been labeled by some parties as “antiSemitic.” Andrew Collingwood, who has a non-academic position in the Biology department, told Vision: “The image was clearly found by an individual searching for a reason to label me an anti-Semite.” “I regard this as the latest move in a campaign to harass me at work because of my connection to the Palestine Solidarity Campaign” The photograph in ques-

BY RUTH GALLIE

tion was one of 246 posted pictures that the staff member had taken at a protest in York against the war in Gaza. But Jewish Society president Simon Winkler described the photo as “fundamentally racist and definitely perpetrating race hate.” He has also suggested Collingwood resign from his additional position as a harassment advisor. Collingwood insists that the photograph, which depicts a cartoon of the Israeli foreign minister, Tzipi Livni, dressed as a witch, would never been posted “if it occurred to me that it would cause offence.” In the cartoon Livni is shown uttering the words “Anti-Semitic! Anti-Semitic! Anti-Semitic!” while thinking “Oh, ****!! They No Longer Fear The Magic Word.” Nouse ran a story on their website labelling Collingwood as a ‘racist’, which Collingwood says “deeply offended

PC PLOD

BY EMILY HODGES

SATIRE

?: the c ontrove rsial pi

c

and upset” him. A poll accompanying the story, asking readers to vote on whether Collingwood should be resign, has been labelled “insensitive” by some observers. Nouse editor Henry James Foy responded, "‘Nouse runs its online polls as a way to objectively gauge campus opinion... to determine whether students felt that his position was still tenable in light of claims that his actions were racist." In a statement, the University has defended Collingwood, saying: “The University adheres strongly to the principle of freedom of speech, and we respect absolutely the right of individuals to be free from harassment” However, YUSU have condemned the “clearly objectionable cartoon.” “Facebook is a personal tool, but - with the University running campaigns warn-

ing students to be prudent in its usage - staff must also be mindful of what they publish for other members of this multi-cultural campus to see, especially considering their elevated position within the community.” Jewsih Society presdident Simon Winkler told Vision: "If he has freedom of speech to post such a photo, I have the same right to criticise it." He added: "He does not seem to apoligise, yet depicts this as a vendetta against him claiming that this is an attempt to harass him. I feel he shows no real regret for the offence and hurt he has caused to my members." Despite Collingwood’s claims that he is being harassed, both the Student Support Office and the Equality and Human Rights Commission declined to comment.

UP IN ARMS

STUDENTS PLAN to express their disgust with the University’s investment in arms with a “loud and colourful” protest this Friday. York Amnesty has organized the protest in support of YUSU’s motion to lobby the University to adopt an ethical investment policy. “Uneconomical, corrupt, socially detrimental, why do it,” Amnesty have said of arms investment on their Facebook group. 1300 students have already signed a petition condemning the university’s arms investment. This petition will be handed to the University’s Finance Office at Heslington Hall on the day of the protest. The protest follows recent figures released by the “Campaign against the Arms Trade” organisation, which

show that the University of York has increased its shareholdings in BAE systems, one of the World’s largest arms produce, from £644,371 to £713,803 in the past year. Amnesty hope that the protest will put pressure on the University to adopt the Ethical Investment Policy (drafted over the last few years in collaboration with a group of students). The policy is now scheduled to be brought before the university Council for formal adoption in the summer term.

5

The group has been seeking the support of lecturers and other University Officials for their open letter. T h e letter states: “Students have been protesting against the University’s investment policy for more than three years. Despite the University’s agreement to

draft an ethical investment policy in collaboration with students, proposed changes have yet to be implemented. “Instead of encouraging student responsibility by taking their concerns and work seriously, the University has followed a contrary path and increased its shareholdings in BAE systems since 2007 by almost £70,000. This makes York the fourth biggest university investor in the UK”. YUSU President Tom Scott has said of Amnesty’s actions: “We have active policy supporting ethical investment, and while as a Union we’re not actively or directly involved in this particular protest, a UGM motion tells us that, on the whole, students agree with some of the sentiments being expressed at the protest.”

CHAOS HIT campus after countless students lost their work in a major computer system crash recently. A power-cut had caused every library computer to shut down, leaving essay-writers fuming. One student told Vision “I’m so angry! I’ve lost two hours of work and I was about to print it too!” The library apologised to students but couldn’t guarantee that it would not happen again. Christine Ellwood, the library’s Head of Information Systems said “I am sorry that students have lost work after the incident on Wednesday.” She blamed the PC pandemonium on “a power outage across the campus,” and claimed that other “individual PCs across campus were affected.” Although the total number of people affected is unknown, second-year History student Harry Pearse, described the scene in the library as “a complete shambles.” “So many people here have lost their work and are pissed off.” “Students use these computers to write important essays and presentations, their work shouldn’t be at risk,” he said. “Why doesn’t the library have some kind of back up?” Central systems like the library catalogue were unaffected by the power-cut, as they are protected by an uninterruptible power supply. Individual computers do not benefit from this protection, however.

MAGNA-WOW

BY MARTIN WILLIAMS

"FUN AND COLOURFUL" Magnapow were crowned champions at the final of this year’s Battle of the Bands, held on Saturday. The instrumental dance band were announced winners after beating off stiff competition. Lead guitarist Dave Pearce said: “It was so much fun, it was really pretty awesome.” Magnapow stood out from the other bands with their distinct image: “It was all about neon and bright colours and fun, without being too ravy,” band leader Jonny Sims told Vision. “The sunglasses came from Ben our vocalist – he has about a bin bag full of sunglasses.” But he admits, “one of the judges wasn’t a fan of the genre of the look.” “All the bands this year were so good,” he said. “The quality of bands has definitely gone up.” Magnapow is now set for big things, starting with three days in a studio where they hope to record all their music. “We haven’t properly discussed the future though,” Simms said. Second place in Battle of the Bands was taken by Tin Pan Valley with Gurmeet Singh’s Percussion Buffet coming third. Also competing was Little Jimmy’s Flaming Funk Orchestra and The Goslings.


6

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday January 27, 2009

Derwent's blind date with YUSU

! R E T S A S . D G BI UNDER THREAT: Revellers enjoying Pendulum at last year's event BY MIKE REGAN The success of flagship Derwent event Big D in in jeopardy , it has been hinted. YUSU are not giving in to Derwent pressure to allow the date of the event to be set soon. This has led Vanbrugh College JCRC to suggest that YUSU are attempting “to get rid of or hijack the event.” Dialogue had taken place between YUSU officers and leading members of Derwent JCRC regarding the swift confirmation of the date. However YUSU Entertainments officer Ed Durkin has stated, “The term planner is discussed and decided upon in Ent.s Committee, generally in week 6/7”. With the event tentatively pencilled in for its usual

Thursday of week 10 spot, Derwent are seeking confirmation that the event would be able to go ahead as planned. A delay in finalising such important details would leave the organisers in a very difficult position, especially when it comes to booking the normally high profile headline acts for the event. Last year’s bash was headlined by Pendulum, a booking which was confirmed months in advance of the event itself. Organisers have argued that whilst this delay should not damage the prospects for Big D’s success, the task of the organising committee would be extremely difficult. However, so far YUSU have resisted confirmation of the date and have merely stated that they will be

“looking into it and talking about it.” Vanbrugh JCRC have also vowed to support Derwent in their protection of Big D, whilst in return Derwent will help to keep Woodstock in the Vanbrugh area. Services and Finances officer Matt Burton described this rhetoric as a “kick in the face to most students”. Derwent JCRC chair Joe Rankin was less inflammatory with his comments, merely asserting that YUSU have been “difficult about the setting of the date,” yet Rankin also stated that “I often feel that they do put their own commercial interests before those of the Colleges.” The event has traditionally acted as an alternative to the YUSU organised Summer Ball, and last year oper-

BURTON: BOOZY, NOT BOOTED BY RUTH GALLIE RUMOURS THAT Matt Burton was chucked out of his own bar are “completely false,” insist YUSU. Following The Courtyard’s opening celebrations last week, rumours were heard on campus that the Services and Finance Officer was the first person ever to be

asked to leave the bar after he got too drunk. When questioned by Vision, Laurie Smith, manager of the Courtyard, admitted, “I've heard a similar rumour.” Burton has hit back at these reports, and in the world’s shortest statement to Vision insists that the rumours are “not true.” He has been backed up by members of YUSU. When President Tom Scott

ated with considerably more success. Whilst the Summer Ball struggled to sell out over a three month period, Big D shifted its 1200 tickets within 24 hours. Furthermore it has been suggested that YUSU’s ambivalence towards Big D is down to their attempts to make their own sponsored events a success, even if this operates to the detriment of college organised events. However Burton refuted such claims, arguing that “YUSU will never distance itself from the collegiate system but the prevention of good nights in the Courtyard to improve college events is not the answer.”

COURTING SUCCESS BY EMILY FAIRBAIN

ALCOHOL

was asked if Burton was thrown out of the event, he maintained: “No, he wasn’t. He went home with friends”. However, YUSU did not deny that the Services and Finance Officer was making the most of the occasion and the complimentary beverages. Alex Lacy commented: “He was dancing creatively and emphatically.”

CONSUMPTION during The Courtyard’s opening week has been enormous, suggesting that YUSU’s bar venture will be successful. Figures seen by Vision reveal that The Courtyard has sold 2450 pints of beer, 43 litres of vodka, 2500 bottles of VK and 2900 pints of soft drink. The bar has been packed every night since its opening. Food sales have also been massive, with the caterers running out of meals before closing time on several days. Student customers have got through a massive 600 pints of milk for coffee, 120kg of chips and 30 bottles of ketchup. In fact, the bar has been so busy that YUSU Sabbatical Officers have been roped in to clear tables, although they insist that

they have only been helping after office hours. “It’s been a stunning success”, says YUSU’s Societies and Communications Officer Rory Shanks. “We are really chuffed, and hope this sucess will continue for the rest of term.” The bar’s success is good news for the future of a student venue on the new Hes East Campus: “The Uni are taking us more seriously. We have shown them that YUSU can run something on a large scale,” says Shanks. Despite worries from colleges that The Courtyard will be detrimental to campus events, YUSU are adament that the bar will in fact be beneficial for all college bars. “It is positive for the future campus,” says Shanks. “I would much rather students were drinking anywhere on campus than around the local area.”


NEWS

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

GAZA: John Bibby

STUDENT STRIKERS STARVING:

7

ENVIRONMENT: Tom Daltass

HUNGRY FOR CHANGE

BY KELLY HOLT

A HUNGER STRIKE has been undertaken by a York academic in protest to the situation in Gaza. Statistician John Bibby was prompted into taking action after seeing a news report in which four children had been found by the Red Cross, in the wreckage of a house, starving and too weak to stand. Lying next to them were the bodies of their dead mothers. In all twelve bodies were recovered from the house. Bibby decided that he would not eat until a cease fire was called, or until he had fasted for one hour for every child fatality in Gaza, which currently stands at over four hundred. Bibby, who is an Honorary

Visiting Fellow in the Maths Department and a member of Wentworth SCR, told Vision that he hoped his fast would “raise awareness” of the events which had taken place in Gaza, during the 22 day Israeli offensive against elected democratically Palestinian Hamas. With no forward planning, Bibby made some banners and decamped to York Minster to hold his vigil: ‘Although I am an atheist I used the Minster because it is a building iconic to York, and because I felt that the church had been too silent on the Gaza issue,”, he explains. Stressing that it is important to "think global, act local," Bibby was pleased that ten satellite vigils were

held, apparently with his own fast as a stimulus, one of which took place in nearby Harrogate. Although he says that he "would not like to say that students are apathetic," he does admit that he had tried to get something going at the university, but nothing happened. “This does indicate something, perhaps, though I’m not sure what..." Hoping that his actions will be some help, Bibby is keen that students do not forget about Gaza: "It is already out of the headlines, when it needs to stay there, another generation of young Palestinians have been brutalised... I think we have to ask, are we breeding a generation of terrorists?"

Another hunger strike is planned for this week by York student, Tom Daltas who wishes to raise awareness of ecotarianism. Daltas describes this as "a method of responsible consumption’ with the aim of ‘reducing your carbon footprint." consume will Daltas nothing but water between Sunday and Wednesday and will spend most of the day outside of Vanbrugh College, and nights in the Common Room. He hopes that his protest will promote the idea that climate change is a real and serious threat, which has been ignored by “irresponsible governments”. Daltas regards a three day hunger strike as "definitely doable,"

and believes that he will be "a total embarrassment to humanity if I don’t make three days." YUSU’s Academic and Charlie Officer Welfare Leyland has said: "I can’t condone having a hunger strike; it’s not good for you and you make yourself very vulnerable. However, I admire his courage, as I admire anyone who gets off their backside and does something for a cause.” Tom will be available to talk to about ecotarianism throughout the hunger strike, whilst anyone wishing to be involved in a '100 day 100 person' fast for Gaza, should email John Bibby at jb43@york.ac.uk.

"I FEEL LIKE THE SCAPEGOAT OF A BANKRUPT ELECTION PROCESS"

FROM GRAD TO WORSE BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN

FURTHER COCK-UPS at the GSA have left the Association with their third president since November. Luke Martin, who won the Graduate Student Association’s second election after his rival Rui Huang was disqualified, has also been accused of cheating and replaced by acting president Daniel Carr. Speaking out against what he deems “unfair” treatment, Martin claims that evidence against him was “concocted” and that he is the victim of a “backbiting system.” “I feel like the scapegoat for a bankrupt election process,” says Martin.

The GSA has been plagued with controversy ever since the first presidential election, held back in November, was deemed illegal because some voters could not gain access to the ballot box. Candidate Rui Huang, who had won the initial election, was subsequently disqualified from the rerun election. He had sent out a mass email in an effort to gain support, contrary to GSA electoral rules. However, Martin claims that his two weeks as president were “very tense,” as Huang’s supporters were still unhappy with the result. He was shocked when someone then presented a slide-show displaying shots of a Facebook

group which he had set up to support his candidacy. It was claimed that this showed that Martin too had contravened the ban on using “any form of electronic media to promote your campaign.” “The evidence against me was concocted and I don’t think it stands up,” says Martin. He claims that the Facebook group was dormant by the time of the second election and insists that he had been told that it was legal when he had previously questioned the GSA’s Executive Committee. The Returning Officer Matt Beachem, in charge of the election, later told Martin that he had “basically made up,” the answers to his questions.

ROBBED: Luke Martin speaks out Huang claims that he also was not clear on what he could or could not do, and did not recieve the regulation under which he wsa disqualified because computer problems at the GSA office meant that not all the rules were printed in time. “I think the GSA electoral process is somewhat flawed because they have little experience about it,” he said. Both Martin and Huang have been banned from running for president again this year or next, though both have expressed a desire to rerun. However, Vision has learnt that members of the commitee that have reformed the electoral rules, including Daniel Carr, will be standing for election.

Voting for the third and hopefully last GSA elections, opens on Saturday of week 5, using a new system of online voting. In a statement released to Vision the GSA Executive Committee explain that they have amended both their organisation and electoral rules: “We believe they [the democratic reforms] are absolutely imperative to the future of our organisation.” and Societies YUSU’s Communications Officer Rory Shanks commented that: “It is a mess, let’s be honest, but even though things have gone wrong I admire their resolve to sort it out.”


8 COMMENT&DEBATE

YORK VISION

COMMENT & DEBATE THE VOICE OF

I Predict A Riot

W

e students used to be pro-active rioters and not drunken, fast food consuming vomiters. Often the only thing York students seem to feel is worth sloganeering about is how much they love and are willing to die for the college that they were arbitrarily placed in. Yet when crisis after humanitarian crisis deserve global attention, surely now there is more potential than ever for the return of the fiery student radical. There are hundreds of thousands of us across the country, all of whom can vote, and all hopefully with our vitality still intact, we genuinely can have an effect on government policy. Speaking exclusively to Vision, former Guantánamo detainee Moazzam Begg calls on all York students to not stop protesting against human injustice. So if you’re angry about something, don’t put it on your Facebook status, go and do something about it. Lets follow the example of those who have already headed Begg’s call, if we are angry and if we see injustice, then let’s make our voices heard.

Disappointed and Disinterested: Disaster

I

HARRY PEARSE & DANIEL HEWITT

n light of recent events we felt compelled to address the issue of censorship. In no way are the following words intended as a criticism of specific persons, groups or events. However, never before have we felt so compromised in our attempt to simultaneously relay our point, and not engage the ridiculous sensitivity of the Student Union. (For example, the phrase ‘ridiculous sensitivity’ was suggested by Harry and agonised over by Dan. Similar processes occurred throughout the writing of this article. Writing in a dank room in our house, we felt more akin to seditious pamphleteers than idiots writing for a campus rag). Our campus has an unfortunate microcosmic quality that renders, in the minds of certain familiar university figures, feelings of great self-importance. Using the real world as a template, these people impose similar structures of authority and their annexed responsibilities, luxuries and importance, onto the workings of our miniaturised campus exigencies. Take college chairs for example. The effort and skill of being elected, and the importance and taxing nature of the job

I

s it surprising that over half of York’s students feel profoundly disengaged from the student bodies intended to represent them? The sight of YUSU officers ripping copies of York Vision out of student’s hands hardly cultivates the image of a body that has the skills to engage with students. After all the student body would probably not have rallied around a joke candidate in a pirate costume if those that normally entered student politics were particularly representative of the student body.

A Vision For The Future

S

o York Vision continues to be a breeding ground for the tabloid hacks of the future. Former Vision editor Adam Thorn’s front page scoop for the News of the World has left all at the Vision office swelling with pride and hoping that one day it just might be us derailing the careers of insufferably arrogant television personalities. Considering Adam only left York 6 months ago this is a staggering achievement. If like us, you have ambitions of entering the impossibly murky world of journalism and the surprisingly exciting world of campus media then don’t hesitate to come along to our forthcoming elections on Tuesday February 22nd at 7pm in V/045.

itself, rightfully impart a certain prestige to the incumbent. However, within the context of our claustrophobic campus, the job is regularly equated with the power and influence of medieval monarchy. The relative smallness of the place, number of people and therefore, administrative responsibilities, are not accompanied by a proportionate scaling down of the importance of officials. Indeed, the contrary is often the case; the pleasure derived from enjoying importance within a small system, results in an upward turn of self-aggrandisement. This all leads to a deplorable conceit in which recognisable campus figures believe themselves to be, not only immune from criticism, but deserving of our constant adoration. University Football captains, College Chairs and Fusion personalities are just students; not sportspeople, politicians, or fashion icons, and in the same vein, we at Vision are not journalists or writers. Paradoxically, the so called ‘campus celebrities’, who endlessly seek to emulate the power relationships of the outside world in order to ascribe greater authority to their own positions, wish to strangle the media and alter its relationship with the remainder of society. Instead of reporting, analysing and holding to account, York’s big-wigs want newspapers that pander and flatter. College machinations are largely unimportant, and the campus newspapers, while being serious

publications, should, as compendiums of student events and opinions, be light hearted. The virtues of free speech need not be enumerated by us; they are well known and understood. Importantly, they are dictums that, along with the opposing sentiment of refraining from libel, do

Tuesday January 27, 2009

ing people is a great thing. The best response to criticism or contrary opinions is not to take offence but to argue back and defend ones standpoint. John Stuart Mill once rightly said that debate should never be oppressed because the opportunity to disagree either strengthens your

"Campus figures believe themselves to be... immune from criticism." not just belong in an arena of serious discussion and debate. But in any circumstance, censorship is a last resort, a measure taken to prevent genuine defamation of character, not used to protect ones performance from being fairly critiqued. That very few people either read the paper we slave over, or care about the content even if they do, has bypassed those who from time to time, are the subject of the ‘media’s’ attention. Ascribing Presidential-esque importance to the decisions of campus ‘politicians’ and demanding the press write saccharine reviews of their actions gives campus life a political grandeur it doesn’t merit; a grandeur uncomfortably similar to the cult of personality. Having written a piece last year, our deputy comment editor received complaints from various parties. We couldn’t have been more pleased for her. Evidently, her words had affected people, annoyed them, made them laugh and got them talking. This section is designed to do just that. Unless grave factual errors exist, challeng-

position or forces you to learn something you were previously unaware of. That this paper allows anyone to proffer their beliefs often requires a great deal of patience. Every few weeks, our inbox is flooded with opinion pieces from a multitude of people covering a diverse range of subjects. Some share their far-from-expert views on the conflict in Gaza or their assessment of the Obama Presidency; others, instead of offering opinion, choose to divulge the history of Rugby or how many times a day Tom Scott brushes his teeth. What appears in each edition is indeed subject to our discretion, but never does the question of whether or not we agree with it influence our judgement. Our appraisal of each piece extends only as far as its ability to entertain, provoke or inform.

To affirm our practical, as well as theoretical support of the free press, we have opted not to replace the hideous picture of ourselves inserted by our gracious editors with a photoshopped alternative.

It may take four years to get a coffee in The Courtyard, but we all hope it succeeds

JOSH CHAMBERS All politicians like to gamble. For John McCain, it is the thrill of craps; for Barack Obama, it's the steely calculation of poker. Matt Burton, whilst not as notable, follows closely in their footsteps. But Burton has eschewed the casino for an even riskier arena, he’s bid everything we’ve got on The Courtyard and we’ve got to hope he wins. The opening of the first YUSU venue is something that should be applauded and actively celebrated. If we don’t spend vast sums

of cash stuffing our student chops with alcohol, coffee, and paninis, we’ll lose the place quicker than you can say ‘why’s Tom Scott no longer dressing like a pirate?’ YUSU have been struggling for a student bar since their inception, but selfcongratulation is only, as yet, a sabbatical circle-jerk. Rumours that the bar is not yet paid for seem to be false, and the bar begins on a firm financial footing. However the University did sink £200,000 into the project, a testament to Matt Bur-

versity are actively against us. This project is surely proof that, with the appropriate plans and people in place, York University Students Union can do more than ban filthy mags from Your:Shop, or hand them out again at the Freshers’ Fair. They can, and have, worked together with the University to benefit everyone here. The University’s willingness to donate a sizeable wodge of cash to the project shows someone had confidence in YUSU. But over-confidence is the one thing we cannot allow. The bar is fantastic; I am a huge fan and I do hope "He's bid everything we've there are enough supporters of The Courtyard to susgot on The Courtyard" tain its success. Matt Burton has taken a massive gamble for the sake of all students, with our finances; it’s up to keep the good times flowing us to make sure it pays big. lest we return to Vanbrugh coffee bar with our stampcards soaked in tears. We often assume the Uniton’s powers of persuasion. One YUSU official told me at the time of the fundraiser that it was, “massively failing”, and that Matt Burton was simply “calling up all his mates.” Doubtless the ranks of his chums have been greatly swelled by the beer-swilling majority at the university, but I’ll warn you Matt, the new one’s are fickle and are in it for the booze. Those who were involved probably deserve a pint, but please, don’t buy them one. If we indulge our YUSU overlords, they may forget what’s at stake. Not only for Langwith but also


YORK VISION

COMMENT&DEBATE

Tuesday January 27th, 2009

COMMENT & DEBATE

9

In the wake of recent events, are we witnessing the final days of York's collegiate system? This week's Guest Columnist JOE RANKIN fears the worst... three land marks of 2009. In the short term, it is YUSU’s Courtyard that causes most concern for someone as ‘collegeminded’ as me. Don’t get me wrong, the Courtyard is a fantastic campus bar the likes of which York has never known. It’s comfortable, well run, it looks good and it seems to be producing the goods. All cause for concern. The Courtyard seems to have pretty much everything students are looking for, and pretty much everything our college bars don’t have. Unless the University finds a change of emphasis and funds, both of which aren’t forthcoming, those campus bars that do remain

JOE RANKIN

T

his year is set to be a significant one for the University of York. Already, we’ve seen the opening of the first student run bar, catering and entertainment venue in the University’s brief history. Later in the year, the “University Plan” will be released detailing the aims and focuses of the institution for the next ten years. Finally, the expansion to Heslington East will become a physical reality with buildings, rather than mud, in place just down the road. Having observed these significant land marks arrive or appear on the horizon, one major, overwhelming question begs to be asked: what does the future hold for the Collegiate system at the University of York? Worryingly, at this point in time, much of the evidence I find points to a bleak future for what is arguably the most important component of every student’s social and academic life at York. I have good reason to feel so pessimistically. It is the combination of the

"The Courtyard seems to have pretty much...everything our college bars don't have." open aren’t going to improve; something they have to do if they are to stay alive. More worrying than a drought of customers for our college bars though is the fundamental change in thinking that YUSU bar brings about. Where once life

was centred on your college, its social spaces and events and the members of the community, we now have the antithesis smack in the middle of campus. What makes York unique, enjoyable and special are the colleges; the small communities

"I fear we are heading toward a future where colleges exist only in name." in which so many people thrive and so much happens. A central student venue threatens this community and identity. I worry that with each year, the attachment to one’s college will weaken as students are drawn to one central location. It would be foolish to believe one, albeit very nice, university-wide student venue will bring York’s own brand of collegiate life to its knees and I’m not suggesting that it will. The Courtyard poses a tough, short-term challenge to each College, especially those with bars. Of more concern is how the Courtyard seems to tie in with the philosophy that will be taking York through the next ten years. Heslington East will (eventually) be the new home of Langwith and Goodricke Colleges. Yet they will not be colleges as we know them. Neither will have a bar of their own, nor resident academic departments. The plans resemble little more than glorified halls of resi-

dence; each block, and in turn floor, isolated behind key-card doors that stifle interaction, while academic departments are split from colleges in a facilities apartheid. What provision for catering and bar space there is has, by all accounts, been given little thought and even less financial backing. Clearly, considerations to preserve the identity of colleges on the new campus are very small indeed. The University Plan would appear to be taking events, social interaction, learning and life out of the Colleges and into separated, centralised spaces. To me, this is not the collegiate system of York as I know and enjoy it. I fear we are heading toward a future where colleges exist only in name. As academic departments and social spaces like bars are taken away, events soon follow and so does identity. What will remain will be simple halls of residence and separate academic buildings. The activity and versatility of College life, where people eat, sleep, learn and play will die as we move toward a future of centralised facilities, separated by their single purpose functions. If my fears are realised, then I’m please I was here when York was more than just your standard University.

© 2009 Accenture. All rights reserved.

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YORK VISION

COMMENT&DEBATE

Tuesday January 27th 2009

COMMENT & DEBATE Terrified by his imminent decampment to the world of Grown Ups, ANDY McGRATH speculates on possible life paths...

ANDY MCGRATH I

’m graduating in five months. Shit. The time is nigh to start thinking about jobs, morning espresso, ISAs and other such adult stuff, as friends and housemates ask “what are you going to do next year?” And I’m not ready for any of this. My evasive and humourous response of “Your mum” doesn’t quite manage to stave off the fear of unemployment and the dole. Still, I would be significantly less worried if I hadn’t done English Literature. This foolhardy degree choice outwardly makes me about as employable as a neo-Nazi. It seems I’ve spent two and a half years doing nothing but notice the alarming proliferation of phallic imagery in literature. That’s not 3am-drunk-conversation-worthy let alone a discernible interview skill. Also, the Credit Crunch: two words that don’t seem to impact heavily on insular university life,

but once out of York, it makes job-searching a violent activity. Indeed, let’s not kid ourselves: university is one hell of a plastic bubble. Graduating is akin to emerging from a three-year nuclear holocaust. I’ll wander around the Real World, blearyeyed and shaggy-haired, wondering who all these non-hoodied people with things to do are. I’ll discover that, suddenly, it’s not cool to binge-drink oneself into oblivion or watch Top Gear all day long. The overdraft turns into a serious financial worry rather than an amusing, escalating numbers game among mates So, what are the options? Deferring this conundrum by taking a year out to “um, travel, and sort my life out and stuff ”? Translation: deepening the current sofa groove into a veritable crevasse for a year, while shamelessly sponging/pissing off the parents. Maybe I could work at a soulless and sinfully-boring supermarket stacking job, despising each sodding can of Dolmio, before crying myself to sleep, wondering why reading Joyce’s Ulysses hadn’t prepared me for

this? Or perhaps working the 95 anonymously in an office, realising that it is nothing like The Office. Or, maybe, just maybe, I could actually do what I want to. Journalism. This means being the unpaid tea-boy for a year, fellating journalist after journalist until I finally get that killer story: reporting about the local Cutest Baby Competition. Having learnt how to make a killer latté, I’ll then do a postgrad in Journalism, thus working myself further into debt. The end result of all this? Being a moral-less hack on The Croydon Advertiser for 40 years, the whole time being as popular as Hitler at a barmitzvah. Y’see, people seem to put the job choice of “journalist” up there alongside “professional rapist” and “Jim Davidson”. The lowly salary also reflects this perception. Then, the inevitable heart attack at 60, and a handful of similarly wretched, ethic-less and alcoholic colleagues will attend my pauper’s f u n e r a l . This is your Study Joyce. life, Andy.

Damned if you do what you want, damned if you don’t. But perhaps I’m being a little negative. Five months left: gotta make the most of it. Run up Clifford’s Tower as many times as possible, down as many trebles on Micklegate, and other such academic pursuits. Make no mistake, these should be the best three years of your life – depending on the way you look at it, society sees us as untouchables or ghosts. We’re out of secondary school but deemed not quite educated enough for the 9-5: a beautiful limbo. I’ve even heard “It’s ok, he’s a student” several times, as if it’s some kind of protective excuse. It may be almost too late for me, but so what if the Real World is a bearpit? For now, ignorance is bliss.

Become Hitler. Great deal.

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, cynical editor JOE BURNHAM asks the eternal question: Univeristy: ain't no romance there? the apparatus of alcohol-induced c h a n c e. Okay, okay, I’m probably a little bitter because I’m naturally shite in these overcrowded nightclub lthough I sometimes grow environimmune to pointing out ments, but I’d still argue that the more obvious hypoc- the process is ultimately selfrisies present in our world, defeating even for the most taloccasionally one flashes up so ented of pullsters. brightly that I feel utterly comThe problem is that good pelled to elevate myself onto a natured love-seekers keep foolraised platform and express my ing themselves into believing contempt to the unwashed blub- that the usual nights out are bering masses spread beneath. capable of producing anything Indeed, nothing is more infuri- substantial, and yet it’s all-tooating than witcommon to nessing people a lot of people would find overhear these repeating the types of people same actions the discovery of their soul- (normally girls over and over mate at this age an incon- wearing huge whilst expect‘JACK WILLS’ ing a different venience to their lifestyle logos) comresult, a form plaining about of socially people never induced madness that ‘blokier’ attempting to sweep them males refer to as “the pull” and off their feet. Forgetting for good-meaning but utterly naïve a minute about the ridiculous others see as a legitimate oppor- double-standard which caustunity to find partnership. And es these girls to believe that partnership is available, but romance is something that can perhaps in a bastardisation only exist if the male creates of that word which has less it for them, the fact that they emphasis on two people’s per- go searching for it in sweatiest sonalities being compatible and and loudest locations within more so on people being ran- the city walls goes to show how domly partnered-up through fractured their understanding

JOE BURNHAM

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"

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of it is. And that’s troubling, their first encounter? I mean, I because love is quite a lovely understand fully that the interthing, and it’s something I’d net and all these little online like to see more integrated into toys make certain things easier, but when you combine cold student culture. Assuming that we don’t live and efficient modern technolin a version of reality which ogy with the emotive and sweet resembles late 90s American interactions of humanity, you teen movies in a manner that get a result which can never could truly disturb my percep- rival the beautiful tales of courtship which we’ve grown tion of the world, some part of everyone is hoping to experi- up on. Instead, we’re left cynience a flavour of romance at cally scrawling through other some point in their lives. And people’s profiles and taking that shouldn’t be something note of which people sharing we’re afraid to admit, but it cer- our music tastes are listed as ‘single’. Or tainly seems maybe that’s like something which "imagine history’s greatest just me. It’s is a million lovers exchanging statuses probably just miles away me. from where and ‘friending’ each other afI’m romanwe all spend tically dissatour time. ter their first encounter?" isfied. As such, I There’s nothcall on all of ing inherently wrong with that though – after you: this Valentine’s Day, spend some time thinking less about all, we’re young, and a lot of people would find the discov- drinking and a little more ery of their soul-mate at this about romance, if only for a age an inconvenience to their few minutes. I think things can lifestyle; however, for those of change, if enough of us want it us who wouldn’t mind having to. Until then, I’m denouncing that special person around, the practice of seeking love in our options seem incredibly sweaty rooms on Wednesday limited. However, where we nights. And who knows, maybe othspend our time in the physical world may not be the only ers will start denouncing it too. factor affecting our romantic And some of them will be cute. attitudes. And have good music taste. Take Facebook: can you possibly imagine history’s greatest lovers exchanging statuses and ‘friending’ each other after

10

SAMANTHA

COWLEY

S

o it’s Tuesday, which is not a particularly exciting day of the week. Nothing ever seems to happen on a Tuesday. I’m curled up in The Courtyard on a ridiculously comfortable seat with one ear on the conversation I’m supposed to be participating in and then suddenly the entire room falls silent. I was stunned. I honestly didn’t think there was anything that could make a room full of self-absorbed students, including myself, fall into collective silence. Apparently we were all watching Barrack Obama’s inauguration. It was, as much as I detest the concept, one of those ‘I was there’ moments although one that was somewhat more choreographed than JFK’s assignation or 9/11. This was history.

Yet, despite knowing this, despite being somewhat relieved that the American public did have the good sense to vote in a candidate who can raise his arms above his head, I really wasn’t that interested. In my cynical noughties world I fail to believe that one man can change the world, even if this man does happen to be in charge of the most powerful country in the world. I fail to believe that he won’t muck up, he won’t get corrupted by it all. It just seems so symptomatic. The knight in shinning armour cantering it to save, not just America, but the entire world. He will, if the hype is to be believed; close Guantanamo bay, fix the US Health Care system, solve global warming and bring integrity back to politics the world over. The list goes on, and on. It’s too much for one man, so rather than hope, optimistically for him to achieve. I’m instead plumping for failure. It’s not his fault. It’s mine. Or rather it’s the age I live in. Our new millennium has been marked by the arrival of an overwhelming social conscience. Hedonism is not a feature of our age, drugs kill, sex comes with a multitude of diseases, almost everything we do from watching TV to eating negatively impacts the environment. Coffee has to be fair-trade, organic and rainforest alliance certified before we can enjoy it, guilt free. Living is just one big kick in the face for Mother Earth, with the single most unenvironmentally friendly thing you can do in your lifetime is having a child. Is it any wonder then that I’m reluctant to join in on the celebrations? However I’m willing, actually hoping that I’ll be proved wrong. That even if Obama achieves nothing extraordinary during his time in office his very existence, the fact the a second generation migrant can rise to the most powe ful position in America will prove to an apathetic generation that idealism isn’t a waste of time and that integrity can still have its day.


SATIRE

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

THE SKETCH CONSUMED.

11

Photos by Jess McGowan

2 But I'm not alone. Someone shares this beautiful curse. A friend in need, a friend indeed.

3

1 The torture. The agony. Without Calpol, I am nothing.

It is an angel on our wings, a devil on our shoulders. Fight the addiction. Fight one another.

5 Death for no reason, and death for no reason is murder.

4 Constrained by society. Nobody understands me, not even cheap imitation cereal.

6 Society consumes us, so we consume society: "I ate his liver with some Bran Flakes and a nice bottle of Jack Daniels."


12 FEATURES

V

YORK VISION

P16

Tuesday January 27, 2009

FEATURES KARL PILKINGTON ON KARLOLOGY

Mike Regan talks to the unlikely hero of Ricky Gervias' podcasts.

Human Rights in a Hostile Environment Vision's Jake Soule talks to former detainee and human rights activist Ziad Hmaiden about his experience of Israeli forces in Palestine...

M

ost of us who followed the news over the Christmas break have seen the humanitarian crisis brought about by the wave of Israeli military attacks on Gaza. Headlines have been dominated by stories of dead or injured civilians, air strikes on UN buildings and political commentators speculating about the endurability of any possible ceasefire between the Israel government and Hamas. To better understand the context of human rights abuses carried out by Israeli authorities in Palestine over the years, I spoke to a Fellow of the Centre for Applied Human Rights here at the University of York, he himself a victim of human rights violations. Ziad Hmaiden came to York three months ago after being nominated for the fellowship by the non-governmental human rights group Al Haq, for whom he has worked since 2000. Born in Kuwait, Hmaiden attended University in Bethlehem, his home town, during the 1990s. He was first arrested by the Israeli police force as a student activist in 1995, when he spent a month under detention and interrogation, but was released due to there being no evidence to support the accusations of involvement with terrorist activities. After being imprisoned once more in 1996, this time for two months, Hmaiden’s file was closed. In May 2005, whilst Hmaiden was employed by Al Haq to

document Israeli human rights violations in Bethlehem, he was again arrested and imprisoned by Israeli authorities, without charge or fair trial: “I was detained on the basis of ‘secret evidence’ and ‘suspicion of involvement in terrorist activities’. This ‘evidence’ was never disclosed to me or to my lawyer, effectively rendering it unchallengeable in judicial proceed-

To this day I still believe that I was placed under administrative detention because I am a human rights activist ings and denying my right to a fair trial. The administrative detention order was extended on several occasions, always on the basis of the ‘secret evidence'.” He explains their suspicions as being due to the fact that as a part of his work he made many contacts in Bethlehem, some of whom Israeli officials may

Humanitarian Aid for Gaza at York

On Sunday 1st February a coalition of York societies have organised a walk from York to Selby to raise money for Mercy Corps, a non partisan and non religious organization that is carrying out vital humanatarian work inside the Gaza strip. If you would like to take part in the walk or donate money then the organizers will be at Vanbrugh stalls on Wednesday Week 3 between 12 and 2. Alternatively you can find the facebook group 'Humanitarian Aid for Gaza (York)' which gives details on how to donate online.

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have considered to be dangerous. “A field worker, like a journalist, has to maintain a wide network of contacts, some of whom may hold extreme views. Nobody is neutral.” He is adamant that his arrest was due to his advocacy work rather than any genuine security concerns. “To this day I still believe I was placed under administration detention because I’m a human rights activist and work with AlHaq.” After nearly two years spent in Al Naqb desert prison, he was released due to campaigning by Al Haq, other human rights organisations and EU governments, namely those of Ireland and the Netherlands. Needless to say the experience was a harrowing one, yet Hmaiden returned to his work. Understandably, Hmaiden is scathing about the Israeli forces and their protocol for arrest: “ In Palestine, merely saying that you are against the occupation, or that you disagree with a certain treaty, can lead to Israeli forces suspecting you enough to arrest you.” During his time in Al Naqb, Hmaiden saw prisoners as young as fifteen in detainment. The Palestinian youth have been particularly affected by the recent attacks, with Israeli air strikes on Gaza’s Islamic University, The Ministry of Education and the American International School, having a devastating impact on the educationalinfrastructureof Palestine. I asked Hmaiden whether he felt at all optimistic about the future for the Palestinians, to which he replied, “Not in the short term.” Does he feel that there is any chance that the Israeli military will face UN investigations into alleged war crimes, such as its use of white phosphorous? (Such an investigation would, of course, rely upon Israel’s ally the United States not vetoing it at the UN

Security Council.) “I find that very unlikely. For forty years human rights activists have tried to bring to justice just one individual from the Israeli army [for war crimes allegedly committed in 1967]. The British had the opportunity to arrest him at Heathrow airport, but refused because of the political implications.” Nor is Hmaiden particularly hopeful that Barack Obama’s new administration will bring about a drastic change in US policy towards Israel and Palestine. He says he respects

Merely saying that you are against the occupation can lead to your arrest Obama a lot, and that he was happy that he won the election. However, he does not see Obama as having the ability to redirect years of US policy towards the Middle East: “We are talking about superpowers – such coun-

All women have a right to make their own decisions and to act as they believe best

tries are not run by one man but by many special interests and external pressures. Only 5 members of the US Congress openly criticised the Israeli attacks on Palestinian civilians.” Hmaiden will return to Bethlehem in April. He hasn’t managed to visit his family since arriving in the UK, as “it isn’t very easy to return home at the moment.” Despite his feelings of hopelessness concerning the current situation in Palestine, he refuses to give up entirely. “Those suffering under apartheid in South Africa never thought they would see it end. It’s a similar thing with the occupation of Palestine.” He is currently studying the similarities between apartheid South Africa and modern day Palestine, and recently went on a trip with other members of the Centre for Applied Human Rights, to South Africa. He spoke to lawyers who had campaigned during apartheid and they offered him advice on activism. Hmaiden is determined to succeed in his work as a human rights defender, and to better the lives of Palestinian civilians, particularly in the wake of recent tragedies: “I keep hoping my work will have some meaning.”

Kelly Holt talks to the Women on Waves - defending abortion rights on the high seas

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13 FEATURES

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

Gold Rush Helen Nianias examines the parallels between the World of Warcraft gold rush and our own finan-

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otentially isolating, seems that MMORPG worlds the problems surrounding and socially disen- could hold a new appeal; it the virtual currency: ‘Blizgaged, the bizarre, is easy to assume that you zard has to supply a certain all-consuming world of mas- can find a world outside ‘the amount of gold. Every realm sively multiple online role- world’, and that you can cre- has a certain amount… But playing game (MMORPG) ate a society-less sphere. some people just harvest the World of Warcraft seems to However, the emerging gold gold, like by killing loads of come with a whole bundle of crisis within the game sure- people, and they get thounerdy misanthropic traits. ly shows that this is not the sands a day or even an hour. WoW conjures up images of case, highlighting the human Some people are just nerds people in basements glued element of WoW and the un- at it. They do raids all the to their computer screens, fortunate truth that people time; they want to get gold to friends opting out of social are just as greedy in the vir- buy cars and weapons.’ The engagements to go ‘questing’, tual world as in the real one. result of this is fairly obvious, and overweight forty year Talking to my Warcraft- the few have the most and the olds in Slayer t-shirts ‘pwn- obsessed twelve-year-old majority struggle to harvest ing n00bs’. All of these as- brother, Hugh, he explained enough gold to progress in the game. As gold can sumptions might seem perbe exchanged for weapfectly fair to the average non-Warcraft player, beons and potions, it is essential to be able to mused and bored in equal progress to higher levmeasure by the loner-ish image of the virtual realels within the game; it seems that greed and ity game, in which players money grabbing canpay a subscription, create a character, choose a realm not only be ascribed to and then battle monsters bankers and oligarchs. and go out on quests. BeThe result? ‘People started to set up these ing able to interact with websites and you can buy people only in the guise of your avatar, cloaked by an gold within ten minutes. online persona, it is easy It’s something like one to see WoW as devoid of thousand gold for €15.’ any ‘real’ community or The effect of introducsocial interaction. The fiing ‘laundered’ money into the planned market nancial crisis that has the economy of WoW has obgame’s creators, Blizzard, running for their lives and viously been disastrous, sanity, seems to contradict bringing into question this anti-social image. It the value of money and making some players seems that as much as peoquestion how the system ple try to escape the idea Top: David Pollard and Amy Taylor in of ‘society’, it creeps up real life works, and why it works on you even in a supposed Below (from left to right): Taylor's the way it does. This is ‘escape’ such as WoW. virtual alter ego 'Laura Skye', Pollard's not unlike our ‘real’ gloWith the British econ- 'Dave Barmy' and Pollards new online bal economy, currently so sadly diminished that omy on the slide and un- flame Modesty McDonnell. it cannot allow for peoemployment on the rise, it

ple to progress, gain employment and get the gold necessary to reach the next level of life, with unemployment rates at a ten year high and companies going into administration. Blizzard, much like our own government, seems unable to deal with this crisis. Hugh expands, ‘What Blizzard are trying to do is stop the service being taken advantage of, but they need more pay for the amount of work they have done. It’s getting too difficult. The gold stealers are doing ridiculously well.’ Frantically trying to deal with a host of problems, including antispam devices, new ‘patches’ to apply to the individual characters to prevent people hacking their accounts and stripping them of valuables to sell for gold, Blizzard have their work cut out for them. In a statement released by Blizzard to outline the consequences of buying gold, they stated that an ‘alarmingly high’ proportion of gold bought was initially stolen from hacked accounts, suggesting that, with its own black market, WoW provides a meager escape for anyone trying to escape the reality of the world around them.

It seems that, tragically, people are people, and people are inherently selfish. The story of the couple on virtual game ‘Second Life’ who divorced in real life because of the husband’s cyber affair is a chilling reminder of the humans behind the animated characters. And that the human values that go into these games are just as relevant to the virtual landscapes as they are to our ‘real’ world. By placing a capitalist system of amassing gold in a planned market, it seems that WoW’s creators have been the architects of their own misery. Obviously people are going to cheat. Bankers trade unethically. Identity thieves steal money. Hackers hack. No matter if you elect to become part of a virtual world or just exist in this one, it seems that many are not willing to play nice. People aren’t willing to just play the game.

RAG-TASTIC ' RAG committee's Zoe Stones lets us know what we have to look forward to in RAG Week and why you should get involved...

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s the very official sound- about a chilled day at the WoodLike a bit of Strictly Come Dancing? How about YORK Come Dancing! Watch your ing ‘charity wing of the Stu- stock mini-festival in summer, or favourite campus celebrities, including YUSU King Matt Burton, RAG Officer dents’ Union’, RAG dedi- one of the infamous RAG Bashes? Helen Adams and the Pirate President Tom Scott do a bit of hip-shaking in our Whatever takes your fancy, cates itself to helping people, both of very own version of the popular TV contest. the student and non-student variety, RAG Week, coming up in week through fundraising activities. Spring five of this term, has pretty much Term, with the annual RAG Week everything university has to ofis undoubtedly it’s busiest time of fer, in seven days. As our planning the year and the new Mega Raids se- goes into its final stages, we would Viking Raid will be making its termly appearance on Tuesday, and is all in the name ries, where students travel to various like to let you know about everyof RAG! A mighty fine excuse for a night out on the town, as not only will you be cities around the country to shake thing that’s going on in what is dancing the night away, you will also be raising money for some great charities! some charity buckets at the locals, the biggest week of the term, and means RAG is growing and growing. try to get along to anything and The money raised goes towards everything that takes your fancy! our elected beneficiary charities, which this Struggling with the ins and outs of the economic crisis? Then why not come along to year include Support Our the Wall Street Crash event at Yates’ on Monday Week 5 to not only increase your Soldiers, Medicins Sans Frontières and Martin understanding of the Stock Exchange but getting nice and merry in the process! House Children’s Hospice. The beautiful lads and ladies of Fusion will be coming along so if the mid-term blues However, Rag is not just are hitting you hard, come on down to Yates’ for a night of the high-life. about fundraising; student participation is also dead important to the organisation. Thirty York students Blagathon is a RAG classic and is all set to be one of the best nights of the week. Maybe will be climbing Kilimanyou’ve got your eye on a Platinum Card (free and queueless entry to Tru and Gallery), or jaro in September for Childreach International, and you fancy getting your mits on exclusive VIP tickets? This mini-auction in Derwent Bar every term fifty students offers some astonishing prizes for ludicrously low prices – don’t miss out! hitch-hike their way to European destinations such as Dublin, Amsterdam and ParRAG Week is set to close with a bang on Saturday of week 5 with the epic RAG Parade. is for our beneficiary chariSeveral hundred students in costume, live performers, face painting and a parade, all ties, as well as enjoying a in the city centre, mean that the RAG Parade is one of the biggest and most exciting of bit of a holiday themselves! RAG’s events. The coveted ‘Best Dressed College’ prize will be awarded to the college If international adventure who have gone all out on their fancy dress. This year’s theme is Through the Ages so isn’t quite your thing, then whether you fancy yourself a Vanbrugh Viking or a Halifax Hippy get in touch to find there’s still plenty to be getting involved with! How out how to get involved in this free, and quite frankly amazing event.


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Tuesday January 27, 2009

FEATURES

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

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Riding the Waves of Controversy Kelly Holt talks to Rebecca Gomperts, the founder of abortion-aiding Dutch charityWomen on Waves

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their health to terminate their unwanted pregnancies, resorting to such extreme measures as punching their abdomens or inserting sharp or dirty

Whilst Rebecca may look to the women she met in South America for her inspiration, Rebecca is a pretty inspirational lady herself; in 2001 she picked up a Women of the Year award from US magazine MS, along with other such prestigious names as Yoko Ono, Naomi Klein and Venus and Serena Williams. When she tells us that Women on Waves is all about ‘women’s empowerment, reproductive rights and women’s human rights’, that strikes us as a pretty inspirational and empowering aim in itself. The idea of women’s empowerment leads us to ask Rebecca whether she feels that women in particular have a global duty to help one another, perhaps an obvious question considering that the Women on Waves website features a photograph of an entirely female team, but Rebecca’s answer is slightly unexpected, "I don’t think it’s necessary that an abortion rights advocate has a female face. There are different roles from which one can be an advocate. For a doctor or a lawyer, I don’t think it makes a difference, because they speak out of a professional e n ga ge m e n t . I think what makes it more important for Women On Waves to have a feminine face is that the sea and ships are traditionally and still very much are a male domain, and a female face adds another value, it also sets another role modelthere aren’t many women captains around!’" Whilst female faces may not be considered as particularly necessary for abortion rights advocacy, it would seem that youthful faces are considered important. Rebecca believes that one of the key things that her

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One particularly heart rending message reads: 'You are my last chance to live as I've planned. Help me please. I am desperate.'

2009 Women on Waves On their webiste, Women on Waves also encourage your average Joe to get involved in their campaign. One project, headed 'Print and Paste', asks that visitors to the website download and print stickers which include information on how women can safely perform abortions themselves, using the drug Misoprostol. They then ask website visitors to paste the stickers in washrooms, in dressing rooms, on trains and buses - everywhere in countries where the option to have a termination is simply not available. Supporters of the charity can also make donations online, or for those who have themselves undergone an abortion, there is a project underway which asks women to share their abortion experiences online, wear a t-shirt bearing the slogan "I had an abortion," or simply placing their image on the web, in a show of solidarity with women worldwide who have been

affected by the unavailablity of legal, safe abortions. For women who cannot have an abortion directly onboard the ship, there is also information on the website concerning the drugs which will cause an abortion, namely Mifepristone and Misoprostol. Misoprostol, which is commonly used to prevent gastric ulcers in countries all over the world, has not been certified for use as an abortion drug, but there is an abundance of medical literature which supports its use. The website contains detailed instructions on how to use Misoprostol, and the precautions women should take when they are attempting this proceedure. This might seem like a risky approach, but for some women, when there is simply no other option, this is the safest way to perform an illegal abortion. The website also suggests that in the event of haemorraging, fever or dizzyness, the woman should get medical attention, claiming to

have miscarried rather than attempted an abortion. It may seem like a risky option, but Women on Waves also provide an online doctor who can be consulted, and in the circumstances, when the only other option is the insertion of sharp objects into the womb, taking Misoprostol is a relativeky low risk venture. It’s not just the women trying to procure abortions that take risks. As the (female) captain of the Borndiep, Rebecca has found herself in some pretty difficult situations. The arrival of Women on Waves in a harbour often leads to protests and on occasion, political tension. Rebecca remembers how when sailing the ship to Portugal, "the Portuguese minister of defense, Paulo Portas forbade the ship to enter national waters and claimed the ship posed a severe threat to the national security. The minister of defense even sent two war ships to monitor the Borndiep 24 hours a day, all

the time it was drifting in international waters. The refusal to let the ship enter Portuguese national waters caused a National and International riot and long debates in the Dutch parliament and between Portuguese politicians. We went to court in Portugal because the Portuguese government violated European and international law and conventions. Now this case has been filed for the European court of human rights." Not only in Portugal have Women on Waves become the centre of a legal conflict. "In Poland the government started a legal investigation after anti-abortion rights groups accused us of distributing illegal medicines in Poland. But of course the investigation was ended with the conclusion that Women on Waves did not violate any laws." There is something triumphant in Rebecca’s tone here, and rightfully so. Even in their home country Women on Waves have faced opposition from the Dutch government "we have been fighting the Dutch govern-

ment for 9 years because they refused to give us a licence for abortions up to 12 weeks" Rebecca tells us "but fortunately we won all the courtcases and they will have to give us the license now." Rebecca is keen to highlight that "Women on Waves supports the efforts of local organizations to change the laws in their country. We are part of the democratic process. We are in cooperation with local women’s rights organizations that are concerned with the violation of the rights and health of women in countries where abortion is illegal. By “bearing witness” and making the problems of illegal abortion visible we seek to support local organization in catalysing legal change. This is a fundamental part of a democratic process. In that sense we are comparable with organizations like Amnesty International and Doctors Without Borders." In other words, Women on Waves are not just sailing around the world to deliver abortions, but to deliver a message of real, fundamental change, a change which allows for the belief "that all women have the right to make their own decisions and to act as they believe is best for them and are respected as autonomous beings." No small feat; but as we close the interview with Rebecca, it's clear that if anyone, or any women, can make such a change Women on Waves will be leading the way.

The refusal to let the ship enter Portuguese national waters caused long debates... and a national and international riot.

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...one woman every eight minutes dies as the result of an unsafe, illegal abortion...

objects into their inevitably also wombs. In doing advertise their so they risk interservices, whethnal haemorrhager they want to or not. Because ing, fever, infection they are on a and even death. boat, Rebecca It is estimated by and her team can the World Health Organisation that pick up women in of the forty two the harbours of million abortions their home countries, take them performed worldtwelve miles off wide every year, shore into twenty million International of them are per- Rebecca Gomperts, founder of Waters and formed in such Women on Waves illegal, unsafe legally admincircumstances, that one woman ister the drugs required to perdying every eight minutes as a form an abortion up to the ninth result of an illegal abortion. It week of pregnancy. is obvious that that the Women Not only do Women on Waves on Waves' charitable service is provide the women with the needed, until abortion laws are drugs to terminate their unwantrelaxed, by looking at the testi- ed pregnancy, but also provide monials found on their website. them with education, training One woman from Malta writes and contraception so that they that the charity is her last hope, can hopefully avoid unwantafter finding help nowhere else. ed pregnancies in the future. One particularly heart rending Rebecca tells us how, whilst on message reads ''these are the last the Rainbow Warrior in South days that you can help me. You America she "met many women are my last chance to live as I've who greatly suffer both physiplanned... Help me please, I am cally and psychologically due to desparate". Yet another woman, unwanted this time from Poland, writes p r e g n a n that she is three months preg- cies and of nant, with no food for the lack next day, and two children access to already to feed, and afraid safe, legal of how her husband will a b o r t i o n . react to this third, clearly As a docunwanted pregnancy. She tor and a confesses to jumping from w o m a n was the furniture in the hope I that she will trigger a mis- s h o c k e d when I carriage. It is these desperate and l e a r n e d frightened women who are about the the reason Women on Waves c o n s e was established. Founded quences of in 1999 by trained abortion restricted doctor, Rebecca Gomperts, s e x u a l who, after working on the education famous Greenpeace ship and access Rainbow Warrior as a doc- to contrator, set up what is essential- c e p t i o n ly a mobile abortion clinic. and illegal On a boat. Before each cam- abortion. Their stories were all paign, a hotline is opened heart wrenching. There were so that women can call to women who were raped. There make an appointment on the were women who had no means of ship. The hotline number is support. And there were women also painted on banners on who were ostracized from their board the ship, so that when communities. These women and the media cover the arrival their stories are the inspiration of Women on Waves, they for Women on Waves."

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developed countries liberalised their abortion laws for reasons of human rights and safety. In those countries where abortion is still illegal or highly restricted, women often risk

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omen on Waves may not be a name that you are familiar with, but this is probably because you live in a country where abortions are readily available. Here in the UK, abortions can be legally performed until the twenty fourth week of pregnancy, for a variety of reasons including safeguarding the physical and mental well being of the mother, a lack of financial stability, or if there is there a significant risk of physical or mental handicap to the child. Contrastingly, just across the Irish Sea in the Republic of Ireland, abortions are illegal in all circumstances, except to save the life of the mother. The same goes in Malta, whilst in Spain, Portugal and Poland abortions are legal only in exceptional circumstances, such as when the pregnancy is the result of incest or rape. Outside of Europe, abortions are outlawed in almost all of Latin America, Africa and the Middle East. Almost twenty five percent of the world’s population lives in a country where abortion laws are considered highly restrictive, despite the fact that between 1950 and 1985 almost all


FEATURES

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27th 2009

16

Classic Karl......

Inside the mind of a genius...

"Well... like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again..."

As Ricky Gervais’, well... unique sidekick, Karl Pilkington shot to cult celebritydom through Gervais’ obscenely successful podcasts. His bizarre, yet at times strangely logical worldview left listeners bemused, baffled but most importantly, in stitches. Pilkington, Gervais and Merchant first became acquainted when he acted as executive producer for their XFM show. His hysterical interjections from behind the production desk however, became a cornerstone of the show. By the time Ricky Gervais had made the transition from local radio DJ to the ‘Podfather,’ Pilkington was a worldwide phenomenon. So with T-shirts emblazoned with his ‘perfectly spherical’ head (not my words) a common sight and his witticisms monopolising facebook’s ‘favourite quotes’ feature, we set out to muse on life’s most important questions with surely the world's least willing comedy genius. NB spellings are Karl's own - Ed. What have you been doing to keep busy since the last series of audiobooks? I’ve done another book called Karlology. S i n c e R i c k y and Steve found out that I only got one E in my GCSEs I’ve been on trying to learn s t u f f . That’s what the book is about. I went on days out to museums to teach meself different things. I got a brain scan done so I could have a picture of my brain for the book. It’s weird seeing your own brain. Seeing the thing that knows everything I know for the first time. It’s like meeting someone who you have only ever spoken to on the phone. They never look like what you expect.

It's weird

Nah...jacked it in. It made me realize how boring me life is. I don’t know how Anne Frank kept it up for two years sat in a loft.

Most places are all the same aren't they. Different language

I came across some great monkey news the other day. It was about an Orangutan who refused to breed with other Orangutans, because it preferred blonde female humans. What do you think of this? Would this have made the grade for monkey news?

but they still have a Starbucks

It doesn’t seem that shocking when you’ve read as much monkeynews as I have. I’ve become immune to the activities they get up to. It does prove one thing though, they are getting more and more human everyday. Who’d have thought a monkey could be gingerist. What is the meaning of life?

own brain. Seeing

Don’t think there is a meaning, we’re just here, but then I suppose it beats not being here. Questions like that can hurt you’re head, that’s why we’ve created other things like suduko, swingball and Deal Or No Deal to keep our minds busy.

the thing that knows

Do you think Ricky Gervais was a bully at school?

seeing your

everything I know for the first time.

Are you still keeping up the diary that you started during Series 1 of the Podcasts?

Doubt it. What did you think of Stephen Merchant being spotted in the crowd for the final of Strictly Come Dancing? At 6ft 9 it’s hard for Steve not to be spotted. I don’t know where you are right now but I reckon if you stick your head out the window you’ll probably be able to see the top of his head. He told a story on one of the audio books how when he was at uni people used to arrange to meet at Steve at certain times. They used him like a landmark. X Factor - Love it or hate it?

Bit bored of it now but I don’t think it’s aimed at me. You can’t watch telly these days if you haven’t got a phone. Every programme is asking you to text or phone vote. The news says less people now watch telly than ever before... it’s cos everyone’s on the phone. What are your opinions on the ongoing conflict between Israel and Palestine?

It’s like what I said about the monkeynews, you become immune to it after a while. I heard someone on the radio saying it’s been going on since 1948. I can’t keep up with what it is all about. I couldn’t keep up with Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings cos it went on so long so I’m not the man to ask if you want to know what’s going on over there. You often talked about people with unusual and interesting disabilities on the podcasts? Which one was your favourite? The pillow man. He was amazing. He was around years ago. He had no arms or legs and just shuffled along like a caterpillar. His freak show act was that he could roll his own fags and light them just using just his tongue and lips. If he was still around today he’d be out of work now due to the smoking ban. What is your favourite holiday destination? I really liked Rome cos it was so different to everywhere else I’ve been. Most places are all the same aren’t they. Different language but they still have a Starbucks. Are you tempted by a life of celebrity excess, a bit like Amy Winehouse? Me body is no good at dealing with excess. I got a rash over Christmas just cos I ate half a box of After Eight mints so I don’t think it could handle the heavy stuff. If you could swap lives with one living person who would it be? I don’t think I’d swap with a living person as I’d keep forgetting I’m not me and end up going to my house instead of theirs. I’d prefer to come back as another thing. A fish maybe. Ok then, If you could resurrect any dead person for a chat, who would it be? Probably me Grandad cos I don’t have any memories of him apart from him giving me some brazil nuts when I was four. Not the greatest gift for a four year old is it. Karl Pilkington's new book 'Karlogy' is in stores right now, as is his new series of audio books with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant.

Mike Regan Karl with Ricky Gervais, on whose show he shot to fame

"If anythin', like I said, he didn't do us a favour, he saved too much. You can't move out there for stuff" (Referring to Noah saving every animal)

"I came up with a good idea... see through skin"

"The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, 'Oh, God. Look at me hair today."

"They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else to drown it out at the time?"

"I think some bacteria have better lives than that" [Karl's interpretation on the life of an innuit]

"Turns out it was another load of monkeys from another part of the island... from the rough bit..."

"[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."

"People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?"

"If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about." - Karl interprets the phrase 'Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.'

On homosexuals: "I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that."


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Tuesday January 27, 2009

LIFESTYLE

HOT

>STYLE

>RELATIONSHIPS

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The new Lily Allen track. Chilled and relaxed

t's that time of year again; crunch time for house choices. It’s messy, it’s stressy, but in the end, we all have to do it. Late nights deciding who’s going with who, trying not to offend that certain person that really gets on your nerves, having to tiptoe round other peoples houses feeling uncomfortable and intrusive; it’s all pretty stressful and boring. For all you second years, you’ve done this all before; you’ll be staying put or downsizing ready for that scary third year. If you’re a fresher it can be exciting but can also get a lot more bitchy and awkward. Either way there are lots of things you need to watch out for or might forget. New contracts, deposits and landlords can be both confusing and just that little bit frightening after the comparative ease of university living. You've heard all the horror stories about ridiculous housemates and landlords from hell. But fear not, Vision is on hand with a few handy hints and things to be wary of.

Bad weather: we're sick of getting wet feet!

Celebrity Big Brotherit's so so dull...

NOT

>TRAVEL

FOR SALE: HOUSING

It's back and we love it!

Lol Catshilarious

>FOOD

Rachel Knox gets practical to help you all with the stressful and inevitable task of finding houses... Number of people

Housemates

Bigger houses tend to be a bit more expensive. Be realistic; if there are eight of you and you want to keep the rent as small as possible, try finding two fours close to one another instead. Houses of four, five and six are generally more common, so it might be easier to avoid bigger numbers.

It will probably get tense or cause a few arguments but always put your needs first. What would you prefer; a week of awkwardness or a whole year living with someone you don’t actually like? Better to have an argument now than live with your housemate from hell.

The Landlord Try and find out if the landlord is really as nice and reliable as he makes out to be when he’s showing you round. Ask the old tenants if you get a chance. You don’t want to be stuck with a broken shower or without heating for a couple of weeks because your landlord cannot be arsed to fix it.

The Contract

The Deposit

This is probably the first contract you've ever signed and it can be daunting. Make sure you have the university accomodation office check it over before you do anything drastic- you don't want to be signing anything dodgy...

When you’ve picked a house, you’ll eventually be asked for a deposit for the house and any damages your studenty behaviour might cause. Remember to always get a receipt, unless you want to run the risk of losing £300…

Couples They might both be really good friends of yours, but do you want to live with the tears and tension if they were to split up?

Group housing together with friends If your friends are splitting into different houses, make sure they’re close by. There’s nothing worse than traipsing to the other side of York in the rain just to see mates. All look into houses together and ask agencies for houses on the same street or area.

Location, Location, Location Be careful with location. Just because the house is amazing doesn't mean that it is worth the daily 40-minute trek to campus. Make sure you pick somewhere that's close to other students; places like Heslington Road and Hull Road are very popular. Conversely, Tang Hall has a justified reputaton of being the grottiest suburb in York.

Beware the dreaded box room There will always be someone who ends up with the short straw: the shitty, small room. It's almost inevitable that the landlord will convert some old cupboard for some extra rent! Be reasonable - work out some sort of arrangement: less rent or fewer chores, for example.

The Estate Agent Don't be afraid to ask- if you have any questions or need any advice - just ask, thats what they're there to do.


LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

18

RELATIONSHIPS

DATING WITHOUT THE PRICE TAG Joanne Rea and Gemma Williams show you how to curb your dating expenditures...

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tatistics show that this time of the year is officially the most depressing, more precisely, January 19th is known as Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year. The weather is rubbish, everyone is back to work/ university/school, debts are getting worse and worse, Christmas has been and gone and you’ve failed all your New Year's resolutions. We’re depressed just thinking about it! Dating and relationships have potentially hit a rough patch at this time of year. It’s not the best time to start up a new love interest, or to keep old flames burning, for that matter. Your loan has just come in and you’re still in the red- you can’t even to begin to think about Valentine's day! Don’t fear, lovestruck students. Instead of regretting that big overpriced night out you had at New Year's, save some pennies with us! We’re here with a quick and easy-to-follow guide to dating on the cheap. If you’ve found someone new, or you just like going out all the time, everywhere seems to have some good 2 for 1 deals on at the moment: all you need to do is print off the vouchers from the internet. Zizzi’s and Strada are the main names here, offering a good meal for half the price, and sharing it with the one you love - you can’t argue with that! The vouchers only last a while though, but Vodka Revs do 2 for 1 food with a V card, so get one and get some cheap meals! If you’re the type who likes to snuggle down in the back row of the cinema, with a giant Pepsi and some

popcorn, two life-changing words: Orange Wednesdays. At about £10 just for the ticket these days, the cinema is far too overpriced! Orange Wednesdays do a 2 for 1 on tickets (on a Wednesday only, believe it or not), and this offer is perhaps only suitable for those willing to sacrifice Wednesday night Ziggy’s. It only works if you’re on the Orange network, but for those of you lucky enough, this is a great deal! To cut prices a little more, try not to waste money on the overpriced cinema food! Many of us have been at university for a couple of years now and we still walk around with our eyes closed - some haven’t even noticed our beautiful city of York, and the reasons why so many tourists flock here every year! The majority of us, when asked to name a well-known York building, would probably say Gallery as top of our list closely followed by the Minster. However, there's so much more available in York. Take your other half on a romantic stroll, either around the old City Walls (not hard to find really, they encircle the city centre!) or into the lovely Museum Gardens (opposite Pizza Express). Neither of these cost a penny and you can really get a feel for your surroundings.

As students, we’re known for our bad diets and filthy kitchens, but when entertaining a new squeeze (or old one, for that matter), it’s time to get out the Flash wipes and buy some nice food. If you don’t fancy going out, get out your student cook book and set to work! We know what you’re thinking: 'if you have to buy the ingredients, you may as well just go out and pay for it to be cooked for you', but the ingredients do not have to be expensive. Get yourself down to Aldi (it’s only on Fulford Road!) for some great sirloin steaks, sea bass and Camembert all at lovely, low student prices, plus a bottle of Vino. A meal for two for less than £10, and what says “I love you” more than some tasty food. After all, they do say the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach... If fresh air and outdoor adventure is more your thing, get wrapped up, make some sandwiches and take a Thermos. Go down by the River Ouse near Millennium Bridge (provided it isn’t flooded). There are a few benches dotted around so your bum doesn’t get wet, and its the perfect excuse to huddle up and keep warm. We hope we’ve helped with your New Year's blues and that you can find love while staying above your overdraft limit.

STUDENT Sex Secrets

Whats the kinkiest thing you've done on Campus?

Year: First Status: In a relationship Subject: Sociology College: Goodricke Kinkiest Place...

Year: Second Status: Single Subject: Physics College: Halifax Kinkiest Place...

Year: Second Status: Newly Single Subject: Biology College: Derwent Kinkiest Place...

Year: First Status: Single Subject: History College: Alcuin Kinkiest Place...

A bit of second base in Goodricke car park!

Full on sex in the Halifax Laundrette

Sex in the rain at the back of Eden's Court

Blowjob in the library!

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19

YORK VISION

LIFESTYLE

Tuesday January 27, 2009

STYLE

DRESS THE PART

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During this year's awards ceremony season the only Oscar worth paying attention to is de la Renta. Helen Nianias investigates the faux-casual vibe of 2009's red carpet...

orget the awards, the tears and that aching sense of emptiness that pervades every year's Academy Awards ceremony. Here at Vision Style, we are only interested in the phenomenal one-upmanship of the dresses that have graced the awards ceremonies of 2009 so far. Clearly, the real competition here is not who walks off with an award, but who looks the best on the night. It seems that false modesty and "Oh, really, me?" is as popular as ever in 2009. Despite not actually winning an award, it seems that Eva Mendes has emerged fairly victorious from the Golden Globes, wowing swooning fashion journos in her white strapless Dior number. The trick here appears to be that, with her slightly tousled up-do, she looks like she wasn’t trying. Her relaxed and un-sultry pose suggests the very same. Very cunning, indeed and kind of the sartorial equivalent of Hilary Swank going to get fast food after both of her

Ocsar wins. The implication that she is ‘one of us’ seems to have been key so far in this year’s batch of red carpet looks. The false sense of security Mendes lulls us into is much more comforting than, say, J Lo’s backless, frontless, gold lame frock. Despite Mendes clearly being far more glam than you or I, curled up reading a fashion magazine wearing a jumper with jam on it, it sort of feels like you could look a bit like her. Ditto to Cameron Diaz’s dark-rootsblonde-tips look. Tactically, this is ingenious. By winning the ‘everywoman’ vote we are encouraged to forget the hours spent in make up and the lengthy process of securing the perfect dress. Neatly summarising the competitive edge to the awards season, Minnie Driver famously hired out her favourite MAC make up artist at 11 in the morning on the day of the Academy Awards. Amazing. Be it the credit crunch, which has Grazia debat-

ing whether it is actually appropriate for the A-List to show up dripping with rented diamonds and swathed in designer couture, or just that sly faux modesty is more in vogue than ever, it seems that this year’s nominees have been a less gaudy lot than in previous years. Kate Winslet rocked up in Yves Saint Laurent and Chopin diamonds, but cleverly clouded this high-end glamour with a down-to-earth speech that tried to fool us all. Not this time, Winslet. Gone are the days of 1,399 carat diamond necklaces, as seen on Nicole Kidman. Greed is still good, it just can’t be as ostentatious. It seems that 2009 has ushered in a whole new set of rules. Golden Globes '09: Kidman, Diaz, Mendes, Winslet, Moore, Driver... But But how easily achievable is this year's glamour as opposed to last? Spot the odd ones out.

Get the WoW factor! I

Immy Willetts on ditching the floral dresses and embracing the warrior-chic look as seen in World of Warcraft...

n this modern world, where young Greerreading students happily indulge in floral Cath Kidston bags and over-sized bows under the post-feminist banner of irony, it’s time we readjusted our definition of female empowerment. And I don’t think the answer lies in the underwear section of Topshop. Computer games, which have hitherto been ignored in fashion circles, for the ‘socially incompetent’ geeks who live through them, actually could teach even the most headstrong female dresser a thing or two about style. We can take inspiration from other 80s/90s icons such as Xena Warrior Princess and Lara Croft: they're giving a whole new meaning to the maxim "dress to kill". Xena’s style is not a million miles away from the high street’s diluted versions of true piratical or military looks, the difference is of course the attitude of the wearer. You cannot forlornly cling to the arm of a rugby boy or laugh at your ‘hot’ tutor’s lame jokes in this garb! Chortle. I initially felt that the bitchy world of fashion and the fantastical realm of WoW were even more disparate from each other than [insert campus witticism here]. I

was actually surprised to find many WoW fashion shows on Youtube. Seriously. The comments included such gems as “Where can I get armour like that!” It seems that these World of Warcraft women do things in the right order; they’ve got the attitude, then the fashion follows accordingly. This is refreshing in a time where seasonal dressing advocates changing your style regularly. The key features of this look are leather boots to stomp around campus in; no need to look timid in ballet pumps! Don’t be afraid of floor length coats or garish make-up. The high-street attempt at warrior-chic favours dark, muted tones, if the WoW fashion shows are anything to go by, these 2D women are not afraid of standing out in bright colours, to be worn alongside warrior-esque metallics. You can combine your American Apparel leggings or a brightly coloured wig with a snakeskin jacket and a wonderbra for the infamous WoW cleavage. Like these warriors, we too should dress for more imaginative purposes than just to look nice for the library, and we can truly get excited about what we wear.

Steal Her Style Crop-tops like this one will accentuate your amble bosom, from American Apparel £12

For the infamous WoW abs, get a Vertical Abdominal Crunch machine like this one, steelairfitness.com

Long velvet skirts like this one just scream "I came out of a computer game and liked it," from ebay. co.uk

For WoW cleavage opt for wonderbras like this one from figleaves.com, £20


20

LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday February 24, 2009

LIFESTYLE

CONNED IN CAMBODIA HOT In a travellers tale gone wrong, Patrick Harte shares his experience of being Hustled in Cambodia...

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ast year I embarked on the stereotypical backpacker trail with the aim of 'exploring the world'. The trip was fairly standard - beaches, beer and bumming around. However there was one event that will stay imprinted in my memory forever- when I played an illegal poker game in a Cambodian kitchen and nearly got myself into a debt of $20,000 dollars. Sounds a little extreme for your average backpacker, I know. In a vague attempt to deter others from getting into this rather unlikely situation and for your reading pleasure, here is how it happened... I was sitting alone eating lunch, when a rather portly Cambodian figure moved towards me and sparked up a conversation, partly intrigued and partly because I couldn’t really walk away I obliged. The man introduced himself Mr. Niat. It became apparent that he and his family were to be visiting the UK in a few months, and was apparently impressed by my knowledge on what to see. It turned out that Mr. Niat was a well paid (by Cambodian standards) casino manager and he desperately wanted me to visit his family. In exchange for my advice on what to see (and the possibility of meeting in London), I would get a traditional Cambodian lunch. With that, we decided to meet the next day. Seemingly inconsequentially at this point Mr. Niat randomly bumped into his ex-pat English friend “Richard”. Sure enough the next day, Mr. Niat met me and took me to the family appartment. At first I cannot deny that I felt very secure as we shared a delicious home cooked lunch. The conversation was flowing, so I asked Mr. Niat where his wife that he had so desperately wanted me to meet was. Apparently his daughter has ‘brain issues’ and this morning she had some sort of terrible fit - thus she and her mother had gone to hospital. Soon after this Mr. Niat told me he wanted to let me in on a little secret. Working at the ‘Holiday Palace’ as a chip table manager, Mr. Niat apparently had a deal going with the owner where he wanted ‘observant white westerners’ like myself to simply win on the blackjack table. The idea was that when westerners in the loop like myself would win, others in the casino would see this and bet more. Mr. Niat having worked in Casino’s his whole life could flick through a deck of cards and remember the order of every single card, by doing this he would then signal to me what card was coming next and with complete confidence I could bet accordingly. This was what Richard had apparently been doing with Niat for some time. For a penniless backpacker the proposition was certainly tempting, Mr. Niat said in one day I could earn $2500. But this was

Phenom Penn in Cambodia, a city rife with corruption, drugs, gangsters and some of the most brutal jails in the world. No amount of money would tempt me to do something like this. To avoid the awkwardness of saying ‘no’ there and then, I decided to play along until I left his house and never contact him again. However this was not as easy as it sounds. Mr. Niat wanted to show me how the scam worked. I was shuffled into a kitchen and a handful of casino chips were placed in front of me. The supposed scam was pretty simple, a system of hand signals from Mr. Niat to signal when to bet. After a good half hour I became somewhat of an expert and Mr. Niat said I was ready for some ‘real life experience’. He had arranged for a private game of cards for me and a high rolling gambling friend of his. $200 was wedged into my hand and Mr.Chang - a weedy looking millionaire businessman enters the room. After about four or five hands it was fairly obvious that Mr. Niat’s cheating strategy was working, I was up $1900 dollars, and there appeared to be no way I could lose. It is strange to say but there was a side of me that felt no guilt as I seemingly ripped off this millionaire. Why was I playing along? Perhaps it was the sense of sympathy I had for Mr. Niat and his daughters

‘brain problems’ or maybe the idea that the more I gambled the sooner it would be until I could leave. As the sixth hand came into play, I had three cards adding up to 21 and Mr. Chang had two cards which (according to Mr. Niat) added up to 20. At this point Mr. Chang opened a suitcase packed full of dollars and proceeded to purchase thousands of dollars worth of chips. Mr. Niat being naturally keen for me to bet even more allowed me to have credit from the dealer.

Eventually we ended up with the sum of $20,000 dollars on the table, and, just as we were about to turn our cards over Mr. Chang refused. He wanted to see my money, the odds were too high. After a seemingly endless argument about what we were to do, it was agreed that I had an hour to get my cash, whilst the cards were sealed into envelopes. Mr. Chang rushes off on business and I am left alone with Mr. Niat. The moment Mr.Chang left, Mr.Niat became somewhat eclectic and started to crying ‘tears of joy’. He said he would get me the $20,000 to play with. However after three to four phone calls it became apparent that there was a problemhe could only get $15,000 dollars. And guess who he wanted to pay the remaining $5,000? Mr. Chang begged me to try anything to raise this revenue - use my credit card, sell my watch or put my mobile phone on the table, he was obviously desperate. I was in a state of sheer dread. The situation had gone way too far - never was I going to risk my money on such an immoral, illegal and potentially threatening situation. So I ran for it. As the adrenaline wore off and my mind gradually became clearer, I started to process what exactly had just happened. In exchange for my $5000, Mr. Chang would have revealed pontoon. I would have walked off $5000 down. Mr. Chang, Mr. Niat and Richard would have walked away laughing. I can understand why you might frown at my idiocy to let the situation go so far, but trust me, when this plan was hatched it was designed to freeze rational thought. The personal connection I supposedly had with Mr. Niat, the daughters brain problems, the English man involved, Mr. Niat’s tears and the family trip to England - all small features that slowly forced me to become indoctrinated by what I can only imagine was a team of, highly trained, and lets face it, probably highly dangerous gangsters.

It was hilarious: Drama Soc

Thank God it's back!

Vanburgh dinners to keep us warm!

Rag Weekour pockets are empty!

Valentines. All over for another year.

Hangovers! They're getting worse!

NOT


YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

the

Hot list SupermarketS Where to go for speciality ingredients in York.

Chi Yip Supermarket George Hudson Street

The place to go in York for South-East Asian ingredients. A huge selection which includes live fish, fresh fruit and vegetables, daily baked goods, huge selection of spices and even specialist kitchen utensils. All prices are very reasonable.

The International Supermarket Hull Road

Not a large store but it carries all basic Thai store cupboard essentials, such as rice wine, fish sauce, tinned water chestnuts, fresh pak choi, lemongrass and kaffir lime leaf. Prices are fair but not cheap.

Costcutter - Campus

Surprising amount of choice, however, most of it is Chinese and Korean. Mostly stocks a large array of instant noodles. Nevertheless, better than you might expect.

Morrisons - Foss Islands

A very poor selection. Brands such as Sharwoods and Blue Dragon tend to dominate, so be prepared for ingredients to be pricier. In terms of fresh produce, I did find one rather unhappy looking pak choi.

LIFESTYLE

21

FOOD&DRINK A TASTE OF THAILAND

Sally Daniels takes a look at Thai cuisine in York and suggests some simple recipes...

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or expensive. However, most Thai store cupboard essentials are inexpensive and available in abundance in South-East Asian food stores. Even the larger supermarkets are beginning to offer a limited selection of Thai ingredients. So here at Vision we have compiled some simple but tasty Thai recipes to put the spice back into life this January.

THAI STICKY RICE WITH MANGO

THAI GREEN CURRY WITH CHICKEN

If you want to start simple, you couldn’t get much easier than this Thai dessert. Thai sticky rice can even be prepared in the microwave: it's just that simple.

A very popular Thai curry which is simple to prepare and tastes fantastic. If desired, other vegetables can easily be added and cooked in the milk sauce.

hai cusine is well known for its careful balance of flavour. The distinct flavors of Thai cooking come from the indigenous spices and produce such as coconut milk, lemon grass, tamarind, ginger, fish sauce, garlic, turmeric, cumin, green onions and of course the chilli pepper. It is easy to avoid cooking Thai food by thinking the ingredients will be difficult to come by

Ingredients - serves 2 1 cup coconut milk 1 cup sticky rice 1 fresh mango 2tbsp sugar Pinch of salt 1. Soak the rice for 10 mins in a microwavable dish and remember that the water level should be just above the rice. 2. Cover the container and microwave for 3 mins then stir the rice and microwave for a further 3. If the rice is translucent then it is done, if not pop it in for a further 3 mins and keep checking. 3. Heat up the coconut milk, sugar and salt. Pour about ¾ of the mixture over the cooked rice and let it absorb for about a minute. 4. When serving top with the leftover coconut milk mixture and cubes of fresh mango.

Ingredients - serves 4 2tbsp vegetable oil 4 spring onions (chopped) 2tbsp green curry paste 700ml canned coconut milk 1 chicken stock cube 6 chicken breasts - approx 200g (diced) Fresh coriander (chopped) 1 tsp salt Cooked rice or noodles to serve 1. Heat oil in wok. Add onions and stir-fry until they start to soften. 2. Add the curry paste, coconut milk and the stock cube and bring to the boil 3. Add the chicken, half the coriander and the salt and stir well. 4. Reduce and simmer for 8-10 mins until the chicken is cooked through and tender. 5. Serve immediately topped with the remaining coriander and with rice or noodles.

Thide Thai Restaurant

George Hudson Street

Thide already has a good reputation in York; however, that reputation unfortunately goes hand in hand with a rather pricey menu. With an evening meal and wine coming in at just under £25 a head, it is by no means light on the wallet. With this in mind I was especially intrigued when I heard that Thide were offering a bargain lunchtime menu, with a choice of a main course for £4.95 or a starter and a main for only £7.25! I had no choice but to go and find out if these rumours were true. Thide has a lovely relaxed atmosphere, the décor being simplistic but very warm and inviting. The staff are very friendly and polite, giving us plenty of time to read the menu, despite the fact we arrived ten minutes before the end of the lunchtime service. To start I ordered Thoon Thong Pak, which consisted of two pastry parcels filled with minced vegetables, served with sweet chilli dip and a pretty stylised salad. These were subtly seasoned and very fresh with a perfectly crispy pastry shell. Often spring rolls can taste reheated and consequently have a sogginess to them, but this was not the case at Thide, where they were evidently served straight from the pan. For my main, I had Pad Mad Mamong Himmaparn: pork in a sweet tamarind sauce with vegetables and golden cashew nuts served with rice. The pork was perfectly cooked, the vegetables crunchy and the sauce light but packed with flavour. My friends had a Thai Green Curry which was a very generous portion and the other Squid Pad Khing which again seemed far too reasonable for the price. In all, there are about eight choices of main dishes all coming with at least three choices of meat, seafood or vegetables. I would really recommend Thide for vegetarians as there were plenty of meat free options and nearly all the dishes could be adapted to replace meat with vegetables or tofu. Overall this was a lovely dining experience and Thide really is a little lunchtime gem that should be better publicised. I was surprised that on a Saturday we only shared the restaurant with two other diners. Thide's lunch time set menu runs from Monday to Saturday between 12 Sally Daniels and 2.30.

CHICKEN AND PRAWN PAD THAI This delicious meal is nothing like the oily red substance you can get in some English takeaways. Instead, it is light and dry, which is how it is served in the East. This recipe substitutes the traditional tamarind with sweet chilli sauce, which means you can add less sugar. In terms of simplicity, this recipe does require quite a bit of preparation and ingredients, but in terms of cooking time, this dish comes together in less than 10 minutes. Ingredients - serves 4 Chicken marinade (3tbsp dark soy sauce + 1tbsp cornflour) 2 chicken breasts - approx 200g (diced) 150g tiger prawns (shells removed and deveined) 1 red pepper (cut into thin strips) 6 spring onions (cut into batons) 2 handfuls of Beansprouts 2 garlic gloves (minced) 2 shallots (diced) ½ red chilli (deseeded and diced) 1tbsp oil 400g ready cooked thick rice noodles. 2 large eggs Pad Thai sauce (The juice of a fresh lime or 4tbsp lime juice + 4 tbsp sweet chilli dipping sauce + 2 tbsp Thai fish sauce + 1 tbsp of brown sugar) Chopped peanuts Fresh coriander (chopped) 1. Marinade the diced chicken in the soy/cornflour mixture for 3 mins. 2. Make the Pad Thai sauce; combine sweet chilli sauce, fish sauce, lime juice and brown sugar. Set aside. 3. Sauté the shallots and garlic in the oil for a few minutes. Make sure the wok is very hot. 4. Add the chicken to the wok and cook until sealed. 5. Then add the prawns and chilli and cook until pink. 6. Add the noodles and fry for 2 mins. 7. Add 2 eggs and mix them in until cooked through. 8. Tip in the Pad Thai mixture, add the spring onions and peppers and toss around. Then stir in the beansprouts, half the peanuts and coriander. Cook for 1 minute until everything is heated through. 9. Serve garnished with peanuts and fresh coriander.

Evil Eye Lounge

Stonegate

With its new Thai and Malay chefs and very reasonable prices, Evil Eye is a must for those of you with a love of spice. From my experience, extra chilli is not needed. The Thai measure of 5 chilies to the English 1 is probably being adhered to here, although the food is not so hot that other flavours don’t emerge. The soups, at £6, and in particular the evil ramen, are especially good value for money. Brimming with chicken, beef, shrimp and noodles, these soups are certainly not mere starters. The Thai red and green curries are both delicious and nutritious, and the sticky rice and authentic ‘morning glory’ (yes, that is a Thai dish) are perfect accompaniments. What the head-chef seems to understand is the simplicity of the nature of Thai cuisine. Pad Thai (with shrimp, beef, chicken or vegetables), noodle soup, or curry (with the above options) forms a large basis of what is available. The menu in Evil Eye is by no means limited, with other South East Asian dishes available, but what it does, it does very well. Vegetarians are well catered for too; Masamam, Thai red, yellow and green curries can all be made with a generous helping of fresh vegetables. All ingredients are fresh and I have even been told that some of the more unusual ones are flown in from Thailand... Little needs to be said of the atmosphere in Evil Eye, though for any freshers who have yet to discover the three floors of comfy seating and unusual travellers tokens, the food is not the only reason to go. However, aside from Evil Eye's lofty status among cocktail-loving students, the freshly made curries alone are reason enough. Anna Kotenko


22LIFESTYLE

NIGHT-TRIPPER Andy Henrick journeys to the centre of rave in Manchester

YORK VISION Tuesday January 27, 2009

TRAVEL

MANNING IT UP IN MENORCA

Alex Dale and Andy Henrick recall ice cream traumas, burnt mouths and the general loutishness of their 'lads holiday' to Calan Porter, Menorca.

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anchester. The city of ‘twisted melons’ and ‘up for it’ ravers. But does ‘Madchester’ truly live up to its name? Or are such terms just the sad, intoxicated dribblings of rave spokesman Bez? Here at the Vision travel office, we decided to take it upon ourselves to investigate the most renowned nightlife in the U.K, and the heart of the rave scene itself. Before going to any kind of club, it is not unusual to attend a few bars in order to obtain the courage to dance and make a fool of yourself later on. Manchester knows your plan, and has invested in the Printworks to cater for all tastes. This complex not only contains countless bars such as Henry J. Beans and Norwegian Blue, but also some of the most popular clubs in Manchester such as Opus, Pure, and Tiger Tiger. Any Mondays, Wednesdays or Thursdays, many bars and clubs hold student events to help us blow slightly less of our student loan. How very considerate. Sankeys’ aim, and I quote, is “to be the best club in the universe.” What more needs to be said? OK, a little more. By playing host to some of the most famous DJs in the country, combined with a luxiourious and chic bar, what more do you need? Although Sankeys holds an event most nights of the week, the biggest and best are the Tribal Sessions on a Friday night. These nights include some of Manchester’s finest artists featuring Mistress De Funk, Greg Vickers and Booka Shade, helping Sankeys image as the beating heart of rave culture. One last venue which demands a mention is Fifth Avenue. This is the number 1 indie experience in Manchester, catering for all those who are more rock ‘n’ roll orientated. Starting life as an air raid shelter in WW2, this venue has kept all its charm, while evolving brilliantly into one of the best indie clubs in the country. Not only does this place have a large variety of the newest and best tracks around, it is dangerously cheap. Mainly attracting a student based clientele, Fifth Avenue is a must for those who enjoy rocking out in skinny jeans, cardigans and ties.

e arrived in Cala en Porter not knowing quite what to expect. Menorca isn’t a party island. Far from it, the island mainly attracts young families and retired couples who holiday on the island for its tranquillity, its sunshine and primarily, its cheapness. This explains the glaring looks from the locals, as well as the tourists, in Mahon airport, as eight fine young specimens of men stepped off the plane wearing ‘Big Peckers on Tour 08’ t-shirts. If we didn’t know what to expect from Menorca, then Menorca surely had dreadful expectations of our capabilities.

We had managed to swindle ourselves a nine person villa, with pool, at cheap price due to the familial connections of one of the ‘Big Peckers;’ a perfect excuse to settle on Cala en Porter as the destination of our lads holiday. However, research into the nightlife of the destination took a side line until after the holiday was booked. The resort is home to a ridiculously expensive, but incredibly fun club, built into the cliff face, known as ‘The Caves’. However, due to the island providing mainly family orientated fun, we had to settle on some extremely quiet bars. Bars which did not stay quiet for long... Once night had descended, we gathered up our party boots, went to the closest bar, and began to have fun in the best way we knew how: shots. After an hour, needless to say, we were very merry, making a nuisance of ourselves and adding to the much loved, much frowned upon stereotype of the boozed-up British tourist. However, much to our curiosity, we were not the group attracting the glaring looks from staff, the rolling eyes from the girls or the condemning head shakes from older, mature customers. We decided to follow the scent

of these disapproving vibes, in order to embrace whatever foolish antic was happening in the name of fun. They were a group of marines enjoying sambuca, singing and dancing, and having a bloody good time. After being recruited to their ranks, the singing became a tuneless racket and the dancing evolved into gyrating fits of fruitless passion, yet we remained talented at the fine art that is sambuca shotting. One of the more ambitious marines proposed we should set fire to the sambuca once it was in our mouths. Obviously this sounds rather silly, yet because it was in the name of good fun, the silliness, along with potentially dangerous aspects were ignored and we pulled out our lighters. Before long, it became a competition to see how long each of us could keep the flames alive in the depths of our gobs. The marines managed to reach an impressive 15 seconds, ridiculing our attempts of only 8 seconds. In a desperate attempt to defeat the evil marines, as well as assert his own masculinity, a friend took up the sambuca and lit. An awe inspiring 27 seconds later, the flames went out and the sambuca went down to a massive applause. After taking a moment to console the losers by numerous hand

gestures and profanities, he began to realise that his lips were chargrilled, and he was unable to close his mouth. Despite the fact he was only able to eat rice, and resembled a duck-billed platypus for the remainder of the trip, not to mention having a bloody sore face, he thoroughly enjoyed his victory against Britain’s best. The holiday continued in a

similar vein, until we stumbled our way to our last day. Needless to say, we wanted to go out with some kind of drunken bang. We began the day’s drinking in the early afternoon with bottles of Rosé wine. However the drinking really picked up after dinner, when we began playing drinking games on the flat roof of our villa. Once we were sufficiently (some of us excessively) sauced, we began to hit the cocktail bars on the way down into the town. At some point in the proceedings, a friend, known to most as the Sneitch, was persuaded to have his named scrawled across his forearm in henna ink. We eventually found ourselves in a hotel bar drinking with some of the off-duty hotel staff. As true British patriots we challenged our new friends to drinking games, which culminated in two or three rounds of tequila suicides and a great victory for Britainnia. We ended our night in a restaurant bar, two or three men down. Not content with our loutish behaviour of the previous nights, the Sneitch began to hatch a plan. After spying a locked freezer containing boxes and boxes of ice creams, he decided to have his wicked way by breaking the lock from its hinges, helping himself to box of Mars ice creams and running off into the dark, humid night. After witnessing the whole event, the landlady ran outside screaming the name she had guessed from the back of his tour t-shirt: “The Sneitch! That fucking Sneitch has stolen the ice creams.” She quickly informed her friends and semilegal bouncers and the hunt for the ‘Big Peckers’ was on. Within half an hour the Sneitch had been duly taught not to steal. They found him munching on an ice cream and punched him in the middle of his chocolate-covered mouth. They took some money off the rest of us to pay for the broken freezer lock and we called it even. We had clearly reached the limits of the locals’ understanding of loutish, depraved, and above all, stereotypically British behav-

iour. We laughed it off the next morning, but we were all glad to be going home. We’d shamed and abused ourselves as much as we’d stretched the locals’ patience. On our taxi journey to the airport, the taxi driver took it upon himself to nickname one of our group “Pudding,” in regards to his larger physique.

Although being hilarious for the rest of us, the lad in question, strangely, did not find his remarks quite as humourous. “Pudding” then remembered that he had invested in some films of the top shelf variety (an essential part of any lads holiday), in order to know more about Spanish culture on lonely nights. He placed the films inside the pocket behind the taxi driver’s seat, just visible for future passengers and got out the car grinning excessively at his improvised retribution. Our few surviving memories of the holiday are either quite random or very depressing. Meeting MC Neat from the late 90s garage outfit DJ Luck & MC Neat in the Caves club was possibly the most strange. Watching our group literally crawl up the hundred or so stairs leading up the cliff face to the exit, and knowing that we had to follow was probably the most disheartening. However, our last night in the resort will live long in our memories as an example of how not to behave in a foreign country. And yet, we feel completely compelled to go and do exactly the same next year... Flights to Mahon, from East Midland start at around £149 on cheapflights.co.uk. We'd strongly advise you against choosing Calan Porter as a destination for a lads holiday. The locals just aren't prepared for them.


YORK VISION Tuesday January 27, 2009

23


24 SPORT The wheels are in motion for Britain's cycling revolution, and the leader of the pack is...

NICOLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

COOKE

JIM NORTON discusses the long hard road from young hopeful to Olympic gold medalist and world champion cyclist. acter. When seven years old, Cooke fell off her bicycle, fracturing her skull. Despite limited vision, she showed extraordinary resilience and determination in riding home. She believes this impressive capacity for coping with pain is due to her “winning logic. I think ‘what do I have to do?’” rather than “can I do it?”. Growing up in Wales also gave Nicole the freedom to roam across the valleys. Her father, a competitive cyclist turned physics teacher, “would race [Nicole] back home, across the hills, instead of

V

THE BRITISH CYCLING Federation rode out of obscurity this summer at the Beijing Olympics by racing up the medal tables and boosting Great Britain into the lofty heights of an overall fourth placed finish. Names such as Chris Hoy and Bradley Wiggins were spoken of reverently, yet outside the velodrome, in the smog and the rain, a very special young lady ecstatically received her deserved gold medal with a beaming smile that lifted the spirits of a recession-hit nation. A winning smile that was the culmination of 14 years of hard work. A cheeky grin that belonged to Nicole Cooke.

“At the Olympics, it was incredible to share the dining tables or queue for the laundry with heroes of different sports"

V

V Almost there: Nicole Cooke about to win gold at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games

getting the bus”. This training allowed her to join the Cardiff Ajax Cycling Club at 11, a decision desperately needed to satisfy a burgeoning love for competitive cycling. Despite her teenage training regime taking her to races in Holland, which she describes as feeling “like being a Tour de France rider, wonderful”, Nicole was never lax about keeping up with schoolwork. As a prodigious student at school, she completed her maths GCSE aged 12 and attained straight A’s in her Maths,

When seven years old, Cooke fell off, fractured her skull, and cycled home

V

2008 was Nicole’s year, having also become world champion, Transworld Sport’s ‘Female Athlete of the Year’, and receiving an MBE. Despite these impressive accolades, Cooke manages to remain modest and her unbridled joy at having realised her dream is charming: “I couldn’t get to sleep until gone 3am on Sunday. I was just lying there thinking. I had the medal next to me. I just couldn’t sleep. I was so happy. The first feeling that I had when I woke up was ‘I’m an Olympic champion!’ It was so crazy”. Yet this cheeky persona is just one side to her character and belies an intense desire to win. Her tone changes as she explains what gives her the edge over her rivals: “Being determined. I think the desire to succeed can take me through hard moments in training and preparation, and the same in racing”. Nicole Cooke’s journey to achieving her current status as the world’s number one road cyclist provides an intriguing insight into a unique char-

Physics, and Biology A-levels. So why not pursue a career doing the 9-5? Her answer is simple; her utter love for cycling: “I like the freedom of being out riding and the sense of achievement when I get back after each ride or race. It’s a passion for me and I feel very lucky to be able to race and be successful”. As she recounts her formative years, it becomes apparent that her self-belief has often been the key to her success. This proved vital when, at only 16 years of age, she won her first senior title: the British Elite Road Race Championship. “I genuinely believed I could do it. My father and I had researched the course, my rivals and created a simple plan. But also, I had a tactical experience on a much higher level than my age suggested, because I had raced 5 summers in a row in Holland against the Dutch boys. There, strength alone is not enough”. Since that first extraordinary win in 1998, Nicole Cooke has won every award available to a female road cyclist, as well as adding eight more national championships to her record. However, softly-spoken Cooke is critical of the limited exposure female cyclists receive compared to other sports and Nicole

is disappointed by the lack of interest outside of the Olympics: “It’s a shame we only get recognised like this once every four years”. She believes that “if you give any sport a lot of time on TV, it will get more popular. Cycling is so different to football. You can’t win by a fluke goal or a lucky penalty - it’s a lot of hard work over a lot of months”. The male road cycling scene is fortunate to retain its mainstream event status, with the annual Tour de France. Still, Cooke

is positive about the female future of the sport here: “Cycling in Britain, especially for women, is rarely publicised and not very big - although it is growing. It the past we have been lucky to get 35 starters on the line, but this year I think we’ll get close to 60, which is great”. In terms of Nicole’s own future, she has a selfless ambition to use her newfound celebrity status to “put something back and help the next generation of cyclists. We need sponsorship, and I hope we get more coverage”.

Recognition: Cooke wins the 'Welsh Sports Personality of the Year' award

Having talked to Nicole Cooke, it is obvious that her special win in Beijing is more than enough reward for 14 years of hard graft. As she tells stories of the athletes’ camp, there is a childlike star struck innocence to her anecdotes: “At the Olympics it was a very special atmosphere because we were the best athletes in the world brought together. It was incredible to share the dining tables or queue for the laundry with heroes of different sports”. Yet, as is always the case, Cooke’s ability to use the experience to improve shines through, “It was very inspiring and it motivated me to give my best”. As the 2012 London Olympics beckon, and the weight of expectation begins to grown on our gold medal hopes, Cooke remains excited but seemingly oblivious to the pressure, “It’s a dream come true and to have a chance to do it all over again is fantastic”. Fingers crossed her winning smile will not just be on her own face come 2012, but across the face of the nation.

Commonwealth Champion World Cup x 2

British Champion x9

World Champion

Tour de France x2


YORK VISION

Tuesday January 27, 2009

SPORT

SPOTLIGHT: BOAT CLUB

25

This week, Vision focuses on York's hardest working club

BY ROSAMUND WOOD AFTER A HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL first term of racing, with senior crews raking in wins at Trafford, York Small Boats and Newark head races, the Boat Club is gearing up for another term of prestigious races, long distances and good results. All squads have now set their competitive crews for the upcoming races, and all 9 boats are looking forward to a romantic weekend away at the BUCS head of the river race on 14th February. The senior men are fielding a lightweight quad for the first time in recent years, in addition to a coxed four and eight; the senior women will also be racing a quad, with their eight to be coxed by captain Ashley Haycock. Both novice squads have the fantastic opportunity to enter two eights each, giving race experience to many of the club’s new rowers. This impressive fleet of competitive boats – due to a big influx of dedicated novices, the addition of some experienced freshers to the senior squads and the continued commitment of UYBCs previous

York Small Boats

members – gives the club hopes for success not only at BUCS, but also for regaining the Roses title. Whilst achieving good performances at the Head of the River Race and the highlights of next term: the BUCS regatta and Henley Royal Regatta are a priority. Of the many reasons for UYBC to be optimistic about results for forthcoming years, a major contributing factor is this year’s intake of novices. Far surpassing the membership of previous years, the two squads have shown a highly professional level of enthusiasm and commitment, even at 7.30 in the morning. “We are progressing more slowly than in previous years” explains RJ Dobinson, the novice women’s cox, “but this is resulting in girls with better technique and a higher level of fitness more suited to the races to come”. 12 members of each novice squad will be travelling to Portugal this Easter for a week’s training uninterrupted by flooding and bad weather in order to field the best possible crews for the summer regattas. The experience the novice rowers gain racing this year will provide next year’s senior squads with confident and prepared athletes, a solid foundation upon which to build on the club’s successes. The hopes of the club, however, do not rest solely on the muscled shoulders of the novices. “UYBC encompasses all levels of rowing, from novices to seniors and local races to international level, world famous regattas” says Rosie Winter, the club’s senior cox. In order to achieve at the prestigious events as well as the smaller races, the whole club has embarked on a new fitness programme, run by head coach Sean Potter. The regime is having a very visible effect on all club members, and groans of burning leg muscles and distinctive waddles aside, the squads’ fitness is continually improving, with some impressive times on the rowing machines emerging from all squads. All rowers would, without hesitation, cite circuit training as a highlight of the week; run on Monday and Friday evenings (beginning at 6pm and 5.30 pm respectively) the sessions are open to all York Sport members and social secretaries Sophie Mottram and Joanne Rea encourage anyone who share their “no

pain, no gain” motto to attend. In the last 10 years, UYBC has qualified three times for the world renowned Henley Royal Regatta, and with promising squads hope to make this year

Trafford First Boat

the fourth. Thanks to a generous grant from the York Annual Fund, the senior men are able to send a brand new four, widening selection opportunities for crew members wanting to compete in the Prince Albert and Temple Challenge Cups. The Club looks forward to its annual Ball on the 7th of February, where we shall enthusiastically celebrate in anticipation of successes in forthcoming races thanks to a fantastic club of dedicated, enthusiastic athletes. “The Boat Club is on the up” says club president, Hugh Pryce. Prove him right UYBC!

continued from backpage

CUP ANALYSIS MEN'S FOOTBALL 1sts ONE OF OUR TEAMS playing against inferior opposition is the Men’s Football 1sts, who travel to Sheffield Hallam 4ths, a whole three divisions beneath them. The underdog tag is very much reversed, and York must be wary of a slip-up. Hallam have maximum points from their five league games this season, averaging three goals per match, a reminder to York’s defenders of the threat they pose. Mat Witherwick’s men, in contrast, have amassed only one point from twelve in BUCS Northern 2B, but will be buoyed by their NUL form, which includes victory over Leeds Met. 1sts. With a quarter-final place at stake, this must be an opportunity to kick-start their BUCS league campaign.

WOMEN'S VOLLEYBALL 1sts Elsewhere, the Women’s Volleyball firsts face Northumbria firsts, a fixture that in other sports would provoke fears of a cricket score. York, however, play a league above the sport centred university, and, despite a mixed season, can expect to progress. The Men’s Tennis 1sts also travel to take on Northumbria 1sts, seeking revenge for a narrow 6-4 loss to their rivals back in the autumn, and looking to pick up on a season that has seen two cup wins but four league defeats.

> RONAN JOYCE explains the task ahead

WOMEN'S BASKETBALL York’s Women’s Basketballers host a strong Leeds Met seconds side at the Sports Centre. After York edged them to promotion from Northern 3B last season, Leeds Met. will undoubtedly be up for this one, and Maria Janssens’ team will need to be resourceful. In Badminton, the Men’s seconds are at Sheffield seconds, with the Women’s firsts welcoming the Northumbria firsts side that held them to a 4-4 draw last autumn. In squash, the Men’s firsts face a test against an unpredictable Bradford team, but York are on a three-game winning streak. The Golf firsts play Sunderland firsts at the Fulford Club in what is their first cup fixture of an up-and-down season.

NETBALL 1sts The sternest test undoubtedly faces the Netball firsts. After a hard-fought win over Teesside last Wednesday, York have had good preparation for the visit of Durham seconds, who play two leagues above them. The only BUCS games Durham seconds have lost this season have been against their own 1sts, with both sides playing in Northern 2B. York, however, sit second in 4B and are very much in the promotion hunt, suggesting that they will prove tough opposition this Wednesday. If they progress to the quarter-finals, however, the irony is that they will most likely face Durham 1sts. The slingshot may have to come out for that one.


26 SPORT

SPORTS SHORTS wicked WHISPERS Which R a m loving sportsman's weapon of choice with the ladies appears to be his mobile phone.? His thumbs must be constantly aching after sending more than his free 1500 texts a month pestering girls.

check your cone-tract One rugby lad decided to take petty theft to a new level last Friday. Instead of the normal student antics of cone stealing, this lad decided to take it up a notch and steal some bollards. Madness.

football frenzy It's all going on inside the football club with theit typical mix of boozing, birds and brawling. Which three members brought back what onlookers described as 'two fat French lasses' back home and kept housemates up till six in the morning, despite the lads not even receiving a French kiss.

Got any juicy gossip or comments for us? Email us at: sport@yorkvison.co.uk

YORK VISION

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Tuesday January 27 2009

BY MICHAEL SNEDDON

The first Sunday action of the new term saw one postponement, 20 goals and even an ambulance turned up; oh how you have been missed college football. JAMES vs WENTWORTH Postponed The first casualty of the day saw the clash of last term’s top boys James against perennial wooden spooners Wentworth called off due to the pitch being too boggy. It was a surprise to see the other three games go ahead considering the awful pitches but all parties were keen to play and the pitches did no detract from some enthralling matches. HALIFAX vs ALCUIN 3-3 The second casualty of the day saw Halifax captain Joe Harrison pick up a suspected broken leg. Referee Greg Gardner described the incident as “one of those 50 50 balls you don’t really want to go for but you know you have to. You know it’s going to hurt and it’s really unfortunate for Joe that it ended like that. Both lads went in for the ball with good intentions.” The injury delayed the match considerably but after the restart Halifax seemed reinvigorated and equalised to make it 3-3

with five minutes to go. This coming after Alcuin had led for most of the match. That is how it ended, whilst also being the score of the clash between Derwent and Goodricke. DERWENT vs GOODRICKE 3-3 The topsy turvy match began with Derwent taking the lead through the man people love to hate, Anton Murphy, who slotted home when through one on one. Cheeky scamp Ben Smith then cooly put a penalty away to make it two nil before Goodricke went ahead for the first time. Experienced midfielder Dom O’Shea stole in at the near post to pull one back. Derwent were first to strike in the second half as their short period of pressure was rewarded when Matt Hallam bundled in a cut-back from close range. The goals kept coming in an open game as a quickly taken free kick put the Jason Lee-esque Luke Molyneux through to score. A beguiling game finished with Paul Ward Jones

comment

squeezing in a far post header. A draw may have been about fair, with Goodricke dominating the first half but Derwent having the better of it after the break. The mud certainly played a role, but the players were good enough to realise balls weren’t going to reach attackers if kept on the deck and both sides adapted well. VANBRUGH vs LANGWITH 7-1 Vanbrugh took advantage of the points dropped by the others as they eased passed Langwith in this relatevly one-sided affair. A depleted Langwith squad were second best for much of the game and Ali Prince's first of three goals began the rout when he poked home after 20 minutes. He soon added a second and a third to complete a first half hat-trick which also saw Dan Hewitt and Tristian Buckley add to Langwith's misery. The second half was a scrappy affair, with Vanbrugh dominating possession but failing to convert chances into goals. Hewitt and Jamie Clarke added late on to send their side top after the terms first round of fixtures.

As the credit crunch hits loyal supporters, the likely lads of Vision Sport ask...

IS THERE TOO MUCH MONEY IN FOOTBALL? Jim Norton says...

YES

AS CASH STRAPPED STUDENTS, we all dream of a day when we can swap Efe’s for Domino’s, Freeview for Sky Plus, and Tesco’s Value Vodka for Grey Goose. So, it’s with bitter jealousy that we read of superstar footballers able to wipe their grass stained arses with £50 pound notes. The recession has barely made a dent on the beautiful game: uber-rich Sheikhs are still desperate to get their oily hands on our precious clubs and the masses are still spending large chunks of their salary on increasingly-pricey season tickets. Barely ten years ago, Alan Shearer’s £15 million move to Newcastle was considered a huge amount to pay for a footballer; yet now it could only afford a club Kakà’s left testicle. The Premiership’s sinister symbiotic relationship with money has begun to dive to the dark side. Old Trafford’s honest and hardened warhorses Scholes and Giggs are dwindling, while poncey pantomime villains (see Cristiano Ronaldo) taint the good name of the Red Devils. Unfortunately, the infection has spread. The sudden cash injection into Manchester City, a club proud of their working class heritage, has brought petulant money-guzzling whores such as Robinho, but repels respectable and hardworking superstars like Kakà. The saintly Brazilian’s recent refusal to sign his soul to the filthy rich City owners is surely a shining light at the end

of a tunnel littered with Ronaldo’s wrecked Ferrari. It’s a sign that loyalty, happiness, and the thought of having to live in Manchester were enough to persuade Kaka to stay in Milan. Footballers are stupid. It’s a fact. Why else would Robinho move to the wrong side of Manchester? So why, why, why give them insane amounts of money to destroy themselves, and potentially the world. Take a look at what the once legendary England playmaker and bone-headed

Malcom Glazer and his new toy

boozer Gazza has been doing to the Middle East recently. But until the world’s oil supplies are drained, sheikhs will carry on playing monopoly with football’s finest. It’s a bleak future unless we take drastic action, so let’s cull those who masturbate over money and let the Jimmy Bullards of the footballing world show how to play with no more incentive than the satisfaction of kicking a ball.

Andy McGrath says...

NO MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND. As the £100 million barrier threatens to tumble after the Kakà debacle, this oft-spun dictum has never been more applicable to contemporary football. Why is there such surprise at the cash-swelled “beautiful game”? It is an inevitable product of modern culture, economic more than sporting: growth and progress in other areas have swelled football’s earning potential. Merchandising, gate receipts, global media coverage, huge stadiums - magnates eyeing up football clubs see it as a business investment more than anything else. Greed is still good. The clubs themselves would be stupid to refuse the bottomless wallets of Russian millionaires or money-sodden Sheikhs. Hey, it ain’t pretty, but having a foreign sugar daddy is a sure-fire way of moving up the table. Even if having Mark Hughes as manager may not be… As for Kakàgate - please: it was overblown by the media into a frenzy. This is a player who had signed a contract with Milan through to 2013 and previously said that he wanted to “grow old” with the rossoneri. Yes, footballers can be a fickle bunch, but they aren’t all preening, moneygrabbing rogues: ultimately even the offer of an eye-watering £200k a week didn’t move the star.

And Robinho, the Brazilian that DID go to Man. City? £32.5m is undoubtedly a lot of money. Yet, through all the whining over his transfer fee, some ignore the simple fact that Robinho has been talismanic for Manchester City since signing. His 11 goals in 16 Premiership games are testament to his precocious ability as a footballer – even if his recent AWOL Brazil trip might suggest a fragile mindset. So, now is not the time to lament the death of the “beautiful game”: money and football made their wicked partnership

just after the advent of the Premiership, not in 2009. There is so much at stake in Noughties football that obscene amounts of moolah, diving and inflated salaries/egos are here to stay, just part and parcel of the ultrapressurised modern game. The juggernaut rattles on; if money inexorably makes the world go round, there’s no way of turning it back.


YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday January 27, 2009

MATCH REPORT

Desperate for extra cash? Just ask...

RELEGATION LOOMS FOR DEFEATED YORK HOCKEY YORK MENS 1sts

2

LEEDS MENS 1STS

5

BY ADAM LUKE YORK'S RUN OF LOSSES in the BUCS league extended to five after suffering a disappointing defeat at the hands of Leeds seconds, who had been within touching distance in the table prior to this fixture. This leaves relegation as a real possibility now for the bottom placed side. Leeds started the brighter, putting the York defence under a great deal of pressure and keeping them penned back inside their own half. York conceded an early short corner, resulting in keeper Sam Harriman, impressive all match despite the score line, making a fine save. A further chance for the visitors was squandered after an inviting drive across the face of goal was only loosely met by a Leeds stick. Somewhat against the run of play, it was York who took the lead. Nikolai Bode cleverly cut into Leeds’ area from the right wing and forced the away side to concede a short corner, which was well worked and despite a brilliant one-handed save from the Leeds stopper, Bode pounced to score. Leeds continued pressuring but were thwarted by the inform Harriman and his backline, including a number of important blocks from Michael Giblin. The hosts contin-

ued to struggle to keep possession despite the hard-tackling and intelligent distribution of Captain Billy Walsh in the centre, and the frustration was clear as the superiority of the opponents grew. York’s resistance appeared to have been broken when the umpire awarded Leeds a penalty for use of feet in the goalmouth. However, the effort rattled against York’s woodwork. The reprieve did not last much longer as Leeds claimed a well-executed equaliser after York failed to clear their lines. Leeds then notched a second when a fast counterattack overwhelmed York’s defence. At

the other end, Joe Spedding had an effort flash across the goal for York, but half time came with York down. Much to the pleasure of the freezing spectators, the home side came out firing in the second half, playing their hockey in the Leeds half. Leeds appeared rattled, one player being penalised for dangerous play and another sin-binned for excessive descent directed at the umpire. Unfortunately for York, this time it was Leeds’ turn to score against the run of play with quick one and two touch play opening up York, with the move being finished with a neat reverse finish. With this, Leeds grew in confidence, taking the game to York. It was four soon after, when a rebound off Harriman fell kindly to an opponent. York pulled one back in a brief spell of resurgence through a scrappy short corner; Bode getting his second of the match. However, late goals from the away side comfortably wrapped up the three points as York greeted the final whistle with dejection. Walsh spoke after the game on the game and the prospect of relegation. “I’m really disappointed with the result but they were an excellent team, and probably weren’t just seconds. They were fast and they were better than us all over the pitch to be honest. Our fitness let us down a little, but there was a lot to take from the game. We had some really good spells.” “It’s going to be difficult to avoid relegation now: still possible but difficult. It’s a shame though because we have an awesome development team here and success is not far away.”

Desperate: York try to salvage some pride

-BUCS Northern Conference 5B Sheffield Hallam 2nds 2-0 York 2nds.

Badminton

Rugby

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 8-0 Sunderland 1sts. -BUCS Northern Conference 3B Sheffield Hallam 2nds 8-0 York 2nds, Teeside 1sts 1-7 York 2nds. -BUCS Cup 2nd Round Leeds Met. 2nds 6-2 York 1sts.

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 44-0 Teeside 1sts, Newcastle 3rds 3-33 York 1sts. -BUCS Northern Conference 3B York 2nds 39-0 Newcastle 4ths. -BUCS Northern Conference 4B York 3rds 73-5 Hull 2nds. -BUCS Cup Round 2 Northumbria 4ths 28-20 York 1sts.

Basketball -BUCS Northern Conference 3B York St. Johns 64-65 York 1sts. Fencing -BUCS Northern Conference 1A Bangor 1sts 135-118 York 1sts, Manchester 1sts 123-124 York 1sts.

Tennis -BUCS N orthern Conference 4B York 2nds 6-4 Sheffield 2nds.

Football

-BUCS Northern Conference 1A York 1sts 0-3 Leeds Met. 1sts, Sheffield Hallam 1sts 3-0 York 1sts.

-BUCS Northern Conference 5B Huddersfield 1sts 3-3 York 2nds. -BUCS Northern Conference 6B York 3rds 4-5 Hull 5ths. -BUCS Northern Conference 6D York 4ths 0-2 Bradford 2nds. -BUCS Cup 2nd Round York 1sts 1-0 Northumbria 4ths. Golf -BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 3.5-2.5 Leeds Met. 2nds. Hockey -BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 2-5 Leeds 2nds.

Volleyball

Fencing -BUCS Northern Conference 1B Sheffield 1sts 116-117 York 1sts. Hockey -BUCS Northern Conference 6B York 2nds 0-5 Leeds 5ths. -BUCS Cup 3rd Round York 1sts 0-2 Sheffield 1sts. Lacrosse -BUCS Northern Conference 2A Sheffield 1sts 4-13 York 1sts, York 1sts 34-0 Hull 1sts. Netball -BUCS Northern Conference 6B Northumbria 4ths 40-24 York 3rds. -BUCS Cup Round 3 York 1sts 33-29 Teeside 1sts, York 2nds 15-48 Leeds 2nds. Rugby

- WOMENS Badminton -BUCS Northern Conference 2B Huddersfield 1sts 4-4 York 1sts. Basketball -BUCS Northern Conference 2B York St. John 23-57 York 1sts.

THE

TIPSTER

The Yorker's (unofficial) top tipster has moved his column to Vision to spread the gospel of gambling. So let's get cracking...

SUPER BET TIM HIGHTOWER TO SCORE FIRST TOUCHDOWN FOR ARIZONA

5/1

THE SUPERBOWL is here this Sunday so it would be rude not to have a cheeky punt on it. Arizona have been in incredible scoring form throughout their surprise run to the Superbowl and this has largely been down to the receiving of Larry Fitzgerald. The Cardinals wide receiver has notched up an NFL post season record of 419 receiving yards with former Superbowl winner Kurt Warner supplying the passes. However, the Eagles are canny and will have plans in place to deal with the threat. Their star defensive player Ike Taylor looks set to have a tremendous personal duel with Fitzgerald so don’t expect the wide receiver to have it all his own way. I’m backing the Cardinals running back Tim Hightower to power over first for the underdogs. He already has three touchdowns in the post season, two on the ground and one in the air so takes part in a lot of plays. Let’s face it, he looked bloody big in the Police Academy films so it can’t be a bad bet.

no harm done

UNIVERSITY RESULTS - MENS -

27

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 29-5 York St. John 1sts. -BUCS Cup Round 2 York 1sts 34-0 Leeds and Trinity All Saints. Volleyball -BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 3-0 Sheffield Hallam 1sts.

STEVE HARMISON TOP WICKET TAKER IN WINDIES TESTS

4/1

WOULDN'T it be lovely to be in the West Indies right now? We wouldn’t be complaining about revision, money, the cold weather and always being an idiot around girls (surely not just me), we would be maxing our relaxing on a hot sunny beach sipping a pina colada. The only time I wouldn’t prefer to be out there is if I was a West Indian cricketer padded up with Harmison at the start of his run up. Say what you like about Harmison but when he is firing, few can play him, especially on the fast bouncy pitches around the Caribbean. His morale should be up as he was one of the players reportedly against the Pieterson regime and as long as he starts well, I predict a very fruitful tour for Greavous Bodily Harm-ison. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that 7-12 on his last visit to the Windies so let’s hope for more of the same this time round.

A HUNCH WEST BROM TO DRAW WITH MAN. UTD

7/2

BEFORE you cart me off in a straight jacket just take a few minutes to hear me out. United have not quite been struggling away from home but they have hardly been tearing up trees. Four goals in their last six away games is not ground breaking and if it wasn’t for their defence then their away record would be much poorer than it currently is. The Baggies have three wins and a draw from their last four encounters at The Hawthorns and are playing the attacking football Tony Mowbray has promised. An attacking team in good form are not going to stand off anyone, as seen when WBA tried to attack Chelsea (granted they lost 3-0), so I expect United's ten clean sheets to come to an end and with the Red Devils hardly banging them in, don’t call me crazy for this prediction.


Issue 194

Tuesday January 27 2009

MONEY IN P26 FOOTBALL Rugby 1sts beat Teesside

The debate Netballers record first BUSA win

P25 SPOTLIGHT ON...

IT'S A KNOCKOUT

VISION INTERVIEWS OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST...

P24

> BUCS CUP RESUMES TOMORROW > 12 YORK TEAMS IN ACTION

NICOLE

COOKE

BY RONAN JOYCE THIS COMING Wednesday sees the next round of the inaugural BUCS Cup with no less than twelve York teams looking to progress. Historically, York has been perceived as David to the opposition’s Goliath. Who would have bet against the big, strong powerhouse of a Leeds Met. or a Northumbria, with their top class facilities and international class athletes? While the Goliaths of Northumbria provide fruit and sports drinks for students after games, York have struggled to establish campus teas! Giant killings in the past relied upon all

of David’s courage and one very lucky slingshot. While Alex Lacy continues to push for a sports department at the university, the York Sport President may be surprised to see that of the twelve BUCS Cup fixtures this week, York operate at the same tier as their opponents on seven occasions. In three fixtures, York play in higher BUCS leagues than their adversaries, trailing divisions only twice. While you could argue that this is the luck of the draw, it means we have a real chance of teams progressing to the latter stages of the Northern BUCS Cup. CONTINUED Page 25

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Continued on p. 25.

Issue 194  
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