I Need a Friend: A Friendshipping Guide for Members of the Church (1977)

I NEED A FRIEND A FRIENDSHIPPING GUIDE FOR MEMBERS OF T H E CFIURCH

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P u b l i s h e d 1977 b y T h e C h u r c h of Jesus C h r i s t of Latter-day Saints P r i n t e d i n the U n i t e d States of A m e r i c a

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his is m y c o m m a n d m e n t . T h a t y e love one another, as I have loved y o u . . . . " Y e are m y f r i e n d s , if y e do w h a t s o e v e r I command y o u . " J o h n 15:12, 14 " A n d again, 1 say unto y o u , 1 give unto y o u a c o m m a n d m e n t , that e v e r y m a n , both elder, priest, teacher, a n d also m e m b e r , go to w i t h his might, w i t h the labor of his h a n d s , to prepare a n d a c c o m p l i s h the things w h i c h 1 have commanded. " A n d let y o u r p r e a c h i n g be the w a r n i n g voice, e v e r y m a n to his neighbor, i n m i l d n e s s a n d i n meekness."

D & C 38:40-41

T h e Call

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" F a t h e r , y o u are to take the lead. B y w o r k i n g together as f a m i l i e s , m u c h great w o r k can be accomplished. W i t h your family, prayerfully select one or two f a m i l i e s to f r i e n d s h i p . D e c i d e w h o m of y o u r relatives or f r i e n d s y o u w i l l introduce to the C h u r c h . Perhaps y o u could p l a n a f a m i l y h o m e e v e n i n g w i t h t h e m , on a night other t h a n M o n d a y , or participate together i n a n y n u m b e r of w a y s . T h e n , w h e n these families s h o w interest, arrange t h r o u g h y o u r w a r d or b r a n c h m i s s i o n leader to i n v i t e t h e m a n d the m i s s i o n a r i e s into y o u r h o m e to share the message of the Restoration. I f y o u w i l l f o l l o w this s i m p l e procedure, y o u w i l l b r i n g a n u m b e r of fine f a m i l i e s into the C h u r c h . " 1- :

—President Spencer W . K i m b a l l Sharing the Gospel through Priesthood Missionary Seroice ( f i l m s t r i p , 1975)

Your Missionary Opportunities T h r o u g h h i s prophets the L o r d has c o m m a n d e d e v e r y m e m b e r of the C h u r c h to be i n v o l v e d i n m i s s i o n a r y w o r k . T h r o u g h Spencer W . K i m b a l l , he has g i v e n us a p l a n to help u s carry out this responsibility. T h i s booklet provides suggestions o n h o w to r e s p o n d to h i s call.

E v e r y m e m b e r s h o u l d take the i n i t i a t i v e to p r a y e r f u l l y select one or t w o n o n m e m b e r s that he a n d his f a m i l y c a n f r i e n d s h i p . I n a d d i t i o n , n o n m e m b e r s w h o are contacted directly b y the missionaries need the help of m e m b e r f r i e n d s w h o demonstrate the effects of the gospel i n their lives a n d support the n o n m e m b e r s as they change their lives. T h u s , w h e n the m i s s i o n a r i e s begin to teach a n o n m e m b e r , a m e m b e r w i l l be a s k e d to serve as a f r i e n d s h i p p e r . If y o u h a v e been a s k e d to help a n investigator i n this w a y , the suggestions i n this booklet w i l l also a i d y o u i n becoming a f r i e n d to the n o n m e m b e r w h o m y o u w i l l be h e l p i n g .

A l t h o u g h most C h u r c h m e m b e r s w a n t to share the gospel w i t h their f r i e n d s , often they do not k n o w h o w to begin f r i e n d s h i p p i n g n o n m e m b e r s , or they are t i m i d about d i s c u s s i n g the C h u r c h w i t h others. T h e f o l l o w i n g outline suggests a process b y w h i c h m e m b e r s c a n (1) catch the spirit of m i s s i o n a r y w o r k , (2) b u i l d their confidence, a n d (3) become f u l l y i n v o l v e d in f r i e n d s h i p p i n g a n d f e l l o w s h i p p i n g .

A . C a t c h the S p i r i t b y S u s t a i n i n g the M i s s i o n a r y Effort 1. Be a m o d e l of righteousness, a n e x a m p l e of the believers (see 1 T i m o t h y 4:12-16; 1 C o r i n t h i a n s 9:14; A l m a 39:11-13; a n d J o h n 13:34-35).

2. Fast a n d pray that the doors (both of nations a n d of the hearts of m e n ) w i l l be opened (see A l m a 6:6; M o s i a h 25:11; A l m a 31:34-35; a n d D & C 109:55-57).

3. S u p p o r t a n d encourage the stake a n d f u l l time m i s s i o n a r i e s .

B . B u i l d C o n f i d e n c e b y S h a r i n g the G o s p e l 1. Prepare a n d encourage sons to serve f u l l time m i s s i o n s .

2. P r o v i d e f i n a n c i a l assistance to those ^ . missionaries w h o l i v e i n countries outside the U n i t e d States a n d C a n a d a b y 2

c o n t r i b u t i n g to the general m i s s i o n a r y fund.

3. Share copies of the B o o k of M o r m o n w i t h nonmembers.

4. Share subscriptions of the C h u r c h magazines w i t h n o n m e m b e r s .

5. Be referral conscious; ask the G o l d e n Q u e s t i o n s ; a n d provide the missionaries w i t h the n a m e s of n o n m e m b e r friends.

C . Become F u l l y I n v o l v e d by F r i e n d s h i p p i n g and Fellowshipping 1 . P r a y e r f u l l y select a n o n m e m b e r f r i e n d or f a m i l y (or p a r t - m e m b e r f a m i l y ) w h o y o u feel is ready to accept the gospel.

2. P l a n f r i e n d s h i p p i n g activities to interest the f a m i l y i n the gospel.

3 . A s k the f a m i l y head w h e t h e r the f a m i l y w o u l d l i k e to l e a r n m o r e about the Church.

4. C o n t i n u e f e l l o w s h i p p i n g those f a m i l i e s w h o become m e m b e r s of the C h u r c h .

T h e rest of this p a m p h l e t suggests w a y s to become f u l l y i n v o l v e d a n d to a c c o m p l i s h the f r i e n d s h i p p i n g a n d f e l l o w s h i p p i n g phase of y o u r m i s s i o n a r y opportunities. ,

Who Takes the Initiative T h e head of the h o u s e h o l d s h o u l d lead the family in friendshipping nonmembers. Each father is to " t r a i n h i s f a m i l y to be a f r i e n d s h i p p i n g f a m i l y " ( s e e A n n M a l Guidelines, 1976-77: Melchiiedek Priesthood, p. 2). T h e w a r d p r o g r a m s h o u l d be organized b y the w a r d m i s s i o n leader u n d e r the direction of the b i s h o p .

Who to Friendship Y o u can f r i e n d s h i p neighbors, f r i e n d s , relatives, n e w m o v e - i n s , n e w l y w e d s , n e w parents, those w h o have recently experienced s o r r o w s or f a m i l y p r o b l e m s , business associates, those p r o v i d i n g services, or a n y o n e y o u k n o w or meet w h o m the S p i r i t directs y o u to f r i e n d s h i p .

What a Friendshipper Does 1. A r r a n g e activities at least once a m o n t h w i t h those w h o m y o u are f r i e n d s h i p p i n g .

Participate i n activities that interest t h e m , s u c h as d i n i n g at a restaurant, s h a r i n g f a m i l y

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activities ( c a m p i n g , outings, barbecues, b i r t h d a y parties, their h o m e m o v i e s ) , attending events (neighborhood parties, athletic events, rodeos, concerts, p l a y s , musicals), or participating i n sports a n d recreation (fishing, golf).

Report y o u r progress to y o u r priesthood leader each m o n t h i n a personal p r i e s t h o o d interview.

Invite the n o n m e m b e r s into y o u r home to be taught by the m i s s i o n a r i e s .

Occasionally missionaries will briefly visit y o u to offer assistance. W e l c o m e t h e m a n d their advice.

Y o u r priesthood leader m a y arrange to s h o w y o u the f o l l o w i n g t r a i n i n g f i l m s t r i p s : It All Started with Thad, 1 Need a Friend, a n d Sharing the Gospel.

C o n t i n u a l l y look for more people to f r i e n d s h i p . If y o u find a n interested p e r s o n w h o lives too far a w a y for y o u to f r i e n d s h i p , obtain a r e f e r r a l card f r o m y o u r w a r d m i s s i o n leader, fill i n the i n f o r m a t i o n , a n d r e t u r n it to the w a r d m i s s i o n leader. H e w i l l f o r w a r d the referral card to the f u l l - t i m e m i s s i o n office so that m i s s i o n a r i e s can be assigned to visit that nonmember.

How to Begin 1. P r a y for guidance. ' 2. P e r f o r m a n act of service, s u c h as t a k i n g the f a m i l y a loaf of h o m e m a d e bread, offering to tend the c h i l d r e n , g i v i n g t h e m a copy of a favorite recipe, b a k i n g t h e m cookies or a cake, h e l p i n g t h e m w i t h h o m e or car r e p a i r s .

3. Invite t h e m to a neighborhood party.

4. T a k e t h e m to a school meeting.

5. Participate w i t h t h e m i n c o m m u n i t y activities, especially w h e n y o u r c h i l d r e n a n d theirs are i n v o l v e d together.

6. Participate w i t h t h e m i n c o m m u n i t y service.

7. H e l p t h e m w h e n they are i n need.

8. V i s i t those w h o are just m o v i n g i n . Introduce yourself a n d help t h e m m o v e . I n v i t e t h e m to dinner w i t h y o u r f a m i l y . G i v e t h e m h e l p f u l i n f o r m a t i o n about the neighborhood a n d the city. Let t h e m k n o w that y o u are interested i n them.

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How to Develop a Better Friendship 1 . Be sincere.

2. Become t h o r o u g h l y acquainted by learning their n a m e s a n d other important things about t h e m , being a good listener, a n d discussing their interests. S h o w interest i n t h e m , their hobbies, their w o r k , their c h i l d r e n .

3. Be u n s e l f i s h .

4. S h o w brotherly love a n d concern for t h e m .

Meet their needs by g i v i n g t h e m h e l p f u l service.

5. G r a c i o u s l y let t h e m be of service to y o u w h e n they offer.

6. S m i l e a n d be positive.

How to Introduce Nonmembers to the Church 1 . L i v e the c o m m a n d m e n t s . N o n m e m b e r s w i l l be m o t i v a t e d b y y o u r good e x a m p l e .

2. Invite t h e m to a special f a m i l y home e v e n i n g o n a night other t h a n M o n d a y .

3. G i v e t h e m a B o o k of M o r m o n .

4. S e n d t h e m the Ensign, another C h u r c h magazine, or the Church News. G i v e t h e m a p a m p h l e t or book on a basic gospel subject.

5. I n v i t e the parents, along w i t h some m e m b e r couples, to y o u r h o m e for a cottage meeting.

Be sure the s p i r i t u a l message is on a basic gospel subject.

6. T a k e t h e m to a C h u r c h social, open house, or a u x i l i a r y meeting, or have y o u r c h i l d r e n take their c h i l d r e n to a meeting or activity.

7. T a k e t h e m to a sacrament m e e t i n g or a special investigator fireside.

8. S h o w t h e m a C h u r c h f i l m or f i l m s t r i p , such as Ancient America Speaks, Christ in America, Man's Search for Happiness, The Bible and the Book of Mormon, Meet the Mormons, or The First Vision.

9. T e s t i f y to the t r u t h f u l n e s s of the gospel of Jesus C h r i s t b y the S p i r i t .

How to Start a Gospel Conversation T h e s e approaches can also help y o u obtain a request for the m i s s i o n a r i e s f r o m people that y o u have just met.

1. H a s a n y m e m b e r of y o u r f a m i l y ever been baptized into the M o r m o n church?

2. H a v e y o u ever seen a copy of the B o o k of Mormon?

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3. H a v e y o u ever w o n d e r e d w h e t h e r M o r m o n s are C h r i s t i a n s ?

4. H a v e y o u ever seen M o r m o n films?

5. H a v e y o u ever been i n a n y M o r m o n v i s i t o r s ' centers?

6. H a v e y o u ever been i n a M o r m o n church?

7. D o y o u k n o w a n y other M o r m o n s ?

8. D o y o u h a v e a Bible?

9. H a v e y o u ever thought about w h a t w i l l h a p p e n to y o u r f a m i l y after this life?

10. H a v e y o u ever w o n d e r e d w h e r e y o u w e r e before birth?

11. A r e there a n y religious questions that concern you?

12. I f y o u w e r e going to j o i n another c h u r c h , w o u l d y o u consider the M o r m o n church?

13. D o y o u k n o w w h o Joseph S m i t h was?

14. W o u l d l i v i n g prophets be important today?

15. W o u l d y o u be interested i n a n idea that w o u l d b r i n g success to a l l y o u r f a m i l y members?

Overcoming Fear

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Being w e l l prepared w i l l help y o u lessen the fear of approaching y o u r n o n m e m b e r f r i e n d s about the gospel: " I f y e are p r e p a r e d y e s h a l l not f e a r " ( D & C 38:30). I f y o u are m o t i v a t e d b y a concern for t h e m , y o u w i l l find the t i m e , a n d y o u w i l l find the right w a y s to bless the l i v e s of y o u r n o n m e m b e r f r i e n d s . " N o w they [the sons of M o s i a h ] w e r e desirous that s a l v a t i o n s h o u l d be declared to e v e r y creature, for they c o u l d not bear that a n y h u m a n s o u l s h o u l d p e r i s h ; y e a , even the v e r y thoughts that a n y s o u l s h o u l d endure endless torment d i d cause t h e m to q u a k e and t r e m b l e " ( M o s i a h 28:3). D o not be a f r a i d that they w i l l be offended. D o not be discouraged if they do not r e s p o n d p o s i t i v e l y .

C o n t i n u e to be their f r i e n d .

Inviting Your Friends to Talk with the Missionaries 1. A s k the questions as soon as y o u feel that the n o n m e m b e r might accept the i n v i t a t i o n .

2. A s k the L o r d to help y o u recognize the right opportunity for i n v i t i n g t h e m to hear the m i s s i o n a r y discussions. F o l l o w the directions of the S p i r i t .

3. Y o u might a s k t h e m w h e t h e r they w o u l d l i k e

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to know about the C h u r c h by saying: " M r .

Brown, we enjoy being your neighbors.

W o u l d you and your family join us in a family home evening tomorrow night at 7:00 P.M.? T w o young men from our church will give a presentation on how our church began." Be sure to give them all the details.

4. Give them a Book of Mormon, with selected scriptures marked and with your picture and testimony attached to the inside cover. Follow up later by talking about what they have read.

T h e n ask: " W o u l d you come to our home for a special neighborhood meeting? Bob and Louise Jones and Jim and Joan Spencer will be there. T w o young men will discuss with us how the Book of M o r m o n was written."

5. Y o u might stimulate their interest by suggesting, "George and Laura, because we think so much of you, we would like to share with you our most prized possession." If they are receptive, share your testimony with them, and discuss some basic gospel principles. Let them know how happy you are. Invite them to hear the missionary discussions. ' ^ 6. Bear your testimony.

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What If They Say No? D o not be embarrassed if your friend turns down your invitation. T h e average convert is asked four times before he says yes. H e will not dislike you anymore than you would dislike him if he courteously invited you to his home to hear his minister. If he says no, treat this response as you would if he had declined a dinner invitation: " I understand, John. Perhaps some other time."

T h e n continue to be his friend. A s k i n g the question will not hurt your friendship. T h e Spirit will help you recognize opportunities when it is time to ask again. D o not forget that many will say yes.

Planning and Reporting Your Progress 1. Set a goal by which time you will have the nonmember family ready to hear the discussions. Plan and work toward that date to ask the golden questions. Respond positively when your priesthood leader asks you to set such a goal.

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2. List the n a m e of the f a m i l y h e a d . B e sure y o u k n o w the n a m e s of a l l the f a m i l y m e m b e r s a n d other important details. Select a w a y to begin f r i e n d s h i p p i n g a n d be r e a d y to report y o u r progress to y o u r priesthood leader, ( Y o u r priesthood leader m a y give y o u a Personal P r i e s t h o o d I n t e r v i e w P l a n n i n g a n d R e p o r t F o r m [PFFiTOOOS] to h e l p y o u m a k e further plans.)

3. Report y o u r f r i e n d s h i p p i n g activities to y o u r priesthood leader i n a m o n t h l y p e r s o n a l priesthood i n t e r v i e w . H e w i l l report to the bishop.

4. D u r i n g the m o n t h l y p e r s o n a l priesthood i n t e r v i e w , y o u r priesthood leader helps y o u m a k e f r i e n d s h i p p i n g p l a n s , a n d he receives f r o m y o u a report o n the success of the past m o n t h ' s p l a n s . H e gives y o u a d d i t i o n a l training a n d p r a y s w i t h y o u concerning the n o n m e m b e r f a m i l y . Together y o u seek the guidance of the L o r d .

During the Teaching of the Discussions by the Missionaries 1 . It is important that the investigators are jy taught i n y o u r home.

2. A s k the missionaries i n advance w h a t y o u s h o u l d do.

3. Let the m i s s i o n a r i e s lead the d i s c u s s i o n . T h e y have been called b y the L o r d a n d h a v e been trained i n their responsibilities.

4. Let the missionaries c o m m i t the investigators to hear the n e x t d i s c u s s i o n , p r a y , read, live the c o m m a n d m e n t s , a n d be baptized.

5. Bear y o u r testimony.

6. Be ready to meet t w o or three times a w e e k w h i l e the discussions are b e i n g presented.

Y o u m a y need to sacrifice s o m e of y o u r personal activities.

7. F o l l o w u p w i t h f r i e n d s h i p p i n g v i s i t s as . a d v i s e d b y the m i s s i o n a r i e s .

8. A v o i d t a l k i n g about doctrines that h a v e not been presented i n the discussions. " A n d of tenets t h o u shalt not t a l k , but t h o u shalt declare repentance a n d f a i t h o n the S a v i o r , a n d r e m i s s i o n of s i n s b y b a p t i s m , a n d b y fire, y e a , e v e n the H o l y G h o s t " ( D & C 19:31).

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After the baptism continue to be their friends.

â„¢CHURCHoF JESUS CHRIST Of LATTER-DAY SAINTS PXCT0926

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