Gore VCC - February 2020

THE WIPER The Newsletter of the Gore Branch of the Vintage Car Club of NZ (Inc.)

February 2020

Next meeting: 11th February

MEETINGS: SECOND TUESDAY of the month at the Clubrooms, Waimea Street, Gore Branch telephone number: 03 208 7424

2019-2020 Committee and Officers Branch Patrons Chairman Vice Chairman Secretary Treasurer Club Captain Assistant Club Captains

Neil McVicar, Ray Tressler Greg Elder Paul Herron Bill Ainge Tim Walsh John Parish Rod Bell Charlie Davis Greg Elder Ray Taylor Branch Recorder (Wiper Editor) David North Assistant Branch Recorder Position not filled at present House Convenor Des Brewster Assistant House Convenor Paul Corcoran Social Committee Beb Kennedy, David McDowell, Russell Newland Beaded Wheels Reporter Jim McFadzien Festival Rally Organiser Denis Knight Assistant Rally Organiser Vacant Bar Manager Chris Scoles Assistant Bar Manager Murray Proctor Maintenance Supervisor Keith Nunn Maintenance Assistants Bill Ainge, Barry Clearwater, Keith Dodds, Russell Newland, Ken Youngson Swapmeet & Parts Gerry Kennedy Swapmeet & Parts Assistants Barry Clearwater, Paul Corcoran, Evan Henderson, Bryan Neilson Hill Climb Evan Henderson Hill Climb Assistant Stewart Quertier Sheriff Denis Knight Librarian Stewart Quertier Raffles Starr McDougall National Delegate David North Privacy Officer Bill Ainge Health & Safety Officer Murray Low Museum & HPV David McDowell Tuesday Ramble Co-ordinator Gerry Kennedy Branch Daffodil Day Co-ordinator John Tremaine Vehicle Identity Card signatories Evan Henderson, John Parish, John Tremaine

(03) 202 5710 (03) 208 6121 (03) 208 9877 (03) 208 3531 (03) 208 5505 027 229 2191 027 451 5234 (03) 202 5710 027 696 2965 021 172 3281 (03) 208 1960 (03) 208 6862

(03) 208 0121 (03) 208 5404 (03) 208 0052 (03) 208 4768 (03) 208 5403

027 233 4634

(03) 208 6479 (03) 208 7932 (03) 208 5404 (03) 208 7932 (03) 208 5450 021 172 3281 (03) 208 4007 (03) 208 6791 027 233 4634 (03) 208 9670

Front cover picture: The Chairman powering his Ford Escort Sport away from the start at the Branch’s Josephville Hillclimb in November last year. (Photo by the Editor)

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Chairman's Report February 2020 As they say, what a difference a month can make.

All my best laid plans from my last monthly report have gone out the window after a medical event that put me in Kew Hospital for a week.

I’m annoyed I do not remember the Rescue Helicopter ride from Te Anau to Kew. The good news is I hope to have all cylinders firing correctly in a month or so!!

A big “Thank you” to all the members who sent their best wishes and who visited and also to Paul Herron for chairing the January meeting.

Fingers crossed I hope to see you all at the February meeting and the Festival Rally coming up.

Hope to be fit enough by then to drive my Vintage Star Tourer. (Might need a chauffeur!!!!)

Remember that you all need to get your cheque books out and buy a VETERAN!!!!

Happy Motoring Greg Elder

The Clock The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power.

To tell just when that clock will stop, at late or early hour.

Now is the only time you own, live...love...toil with the will...

Place no faith into tomorrow, for the clock may then be still.

Author: unknown Sent in by Natalie Kennedy 3

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Club Captain’s Report February 2020 We had a good turnout for the Picnic Run on the 18th of January with 16 cars departing from the Clubrooms for a relaxed run to Kaka Point. It was a nice day neither too hot nor too cold and we picnicked on the grass reserve above the beach beside the Surf Life Saving Club, Katy had a paddle in the surf and declared the water to be cold. That didn’t stop Noel Kelly’s grandchildren heading in for a swim. Thanks to Rod Bell for organising a great day out.

The next run is the Diggers Run with the RSA members on the 8th of February and going to Tapanui via Crookston.

Charlie and Ray took names of members who can provide cars for this run at the January meeting. If you were not at the January meeting and can provide a car for the Diggers Run please ring either Charlie Davis 027 4515234 or Ray Taylor 027 6962965 and get your name on the list.

Denis Knight has everything ready to go for the Festival Rally on the 22nd of February. At the January meeting he had received 15 entries and encouraged members not to leave entering until the last minute. If you can’t find your entry form then contact Denis and he will send you another one. [Or you can use the one in this issue. Ed.] Please support this Rally as it is our main event for the year and a lot of effort goes into setting it up.

John Parish Easy Smiles: Your Husband Needs Rest Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you!

Sent in by Evan Henderson 5

From the Editor’s keyboard As he mentions in his Chairman’s Report, Greg has had a bit of bad luck this month. Fortunately, he had already sent me the excellent story and photos of his restoration of the very smart Escort Sport that he took up the Josephville Hillclimb last November. If you’re not reading this online and only seeing the pictures in black and white you are really missing out!

Another branch member who has been busy is Bill Sheddan, who very kindly sent me an interesting account of the Sunbeam Club’s Tour. It sounds as though great fun was had by all – despite Bill’s (traditional?) little mechanical “whoopsie”!

Natalie Kennedy sent me the little poem last year – a timely reminder?!

It’s the time of year when “Runs and Rallies” come thick and fast. Get your cars out, have a great time and don’t forget to take cameras and notepads so you can keep me supplied with stories! The Wiper has an insatiable appetite for material and, talking of appetites, I’m just about out of recipes so see what you can all do about that, too  David North

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Pun of the Month For some, becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

Anon 9

More Photos from the Josephville Hillclimb 2019

Instructions? Who needs instructions?!

Not us!

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See No..…, Hear No..…, Speak No..…??

Some of the cars lined up in the paddock

Stewart Quertier (with captions by the Editor) 11

What’s in Your Shed?

Restoration of My 1974 Ford Escort Sport

by Greg Elder Production of the Ford Escort Mk1 began in 1967, taking over from the eight years of the 105E Anglia. They were assembled in New Zealand at the Seaview Plant at Lower Hutt, initially as Deluxe (1100cc) and Super (1300cc) two-door sedans plus panel vans. Estate versions were mostly imported.The four-door sedans were added in 1970. Production ceased in 1975 when the Mk 2 Escort took over.

My car is a genuine two-door Escort Sport which has an up-rated HP motor with a Weber carburettor, 4 branch exhaust, sports camshaft, uprated suspension, front disc brakes, additional instrumentation, and wider 13 x 6 inch rims under wider flared factory guards.

I bought this car back in 2000 after a call from a friend who at the time was selling used cars for Regional Ford in Gore. He told me it was in rough condition with the motor apart in the boot and the owners had decided it was not worth repairing.

Initially I was not interested, but when he mentioned that it was a twodoor 1300cc Sport model that certainly got my attention as even back then they were becoming a rare car as many had been used for rallying and racing and been destroyed. I paid $300 and trailered the car home. Luckily the registration was on hold so I fitted a spare engine I had to get it mobile.

Then we used it as a paddock racer for a bit of fun!!

In 2017 I decided it was time to restore it. First job was to remove all the mechanicals and strip the interior including headlining. Then I baremetalled the whole car which was a huge job. Structurally the car was in good order, possibly because it had a very thick coat of underseal applied when new. Even the floors were rust free. We fitted new replica front guards and front and rear panels along with rolling up a new passenger door outer skin.

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Work in progress on the bodyshell

New panels 13

Work on one of the doors

Passenger side

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Several dents were massaged out and then I acid washed the car to remove all grease and contaminants.

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Then I applied etch primer followed by several coats of 2k primer in between block sanding.

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The body was then painted inside and out in the original yellow.

I stuck in sound deadening mat on the underside of the roof panel before fitting a new head lining that I sourced from Auckland. Then I applied more mat to the inner panels plus the floor and doors. The front seats were reupholstered in the original black vinyl style. The rear seats and door panels I was able to clean and refit. New black carpets were purchased and fitted.The dash top was rebuilt and recovered as per original. Front and rear screens were put back in with new rubbers along with the side windows. The doors were rebuilt with new glass tracks. The heater core had a leak so I pulled it all apart and soldered it along with painting the cover. Brakes and steering I rebuilt with new seals and joints. The radiator was also cleaned.

Now to the motor. Upon close inspection I discovered that someone had fitted an 1100cc piston to one of the bores. As this was a 1300cc engine with bowl-in-piston combustion chambers no wonder it had a history of blowing head gaskets!

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As I had another one of these engines in better condition I decided to fit it with new rings, bearings, new camshaft and followers, double-row timing chain and gears, valve grind etc. along with new pressure and clutch plates. The gearbox checked out to be in good order so I just cleaned it out and reassembled it with new oil. I replaced the noisy 4.1:1 diff head with a 3.7:1 ratio to help fuel economy and lower the revs when cruising at the speed limit!!

I was lucky to find a rare genuine set of 13 x 6 inch RS Escort alloy wheels (fitted with new radial tyres) and a steering wheel on ebay in England.

The car has been back on the road for over a year now and I am very happy with its performance. I might even give it a run at the Club Hillclimb coming up in November. . [Greg did – and it went very well indeed, as you will have seen in last month’s issue.]

I have had it out to several car club events and it was a thrill to win the Roudee Restoration Trophy this past year.

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Interesting to note that when I had to get the Escort valued for insurance purposes there were two zeros added to my original purchase price!

Happy Motoring Greg Elder

Easy Smiles: Throwing Knives at Wife's Picture A husband was throwing knives at his wife’s picture.

All the knives were missing the target!

Suddenly he received a call from her "Hi, what are you doing?"

His honest reply, "MISSING YOU." Sent in by Evan Henderson 19

Diggers Run 8th February A few more cars may be needed to provide rides for this. If you are able to bring your VCCeligible vehicle please contact: Charlie Davis 027 451 5234 or Ray Taylor 027 696 2965 ___________________________________

From the Southland Steam Engine Club Members of the Gore Vintage Car Club are invited to our Open Weekend on the 8th -9th February with any age vehicle.

For further information go to the Club webpage http://southlandsteamengineclub.co.nz or Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/southlandsteamengineclub

Regards Geoff Henderson (Chairman) 20

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Gore Branch Events for the 2019-20 Season Event Diggers Run Festival Rally

Proposed Date Saturday 8th February

Organiser(s) Charlie Davis, Ray Taylor

Saturday 22nd February Denis Knight

Clearwater Capers Run

Sunday 1st March

Charlie Davis, Ray Taylor

Frank Robson Run

Sunday 8th March

Greg Elder

Gore Swap Meet

Sunday 15th March

Gerry Kennedy

Ladies Run

Sunday 5th April

Janet Brewster

Night Trial

Saturday 9th May

John Parish, Greg Elder

End of Season Run

Saturday 6th June

Charlie Davis, Ray Taylor

Annual Dinner & Trophy Night

Saturday 18th July

TBC

National Day Daffodil Rally for Cancer

Sunday 23rd August

TBC

National Veteran Rally Tuesday Ramble

Friday 16th to Saturday 18th October

Paul Herron

Normally the last Co-ordinated by Tuesday of the month.

Gerry Kennedy (Variable in December)

Editor's note to event organisers: if you want to see a report in The Wiper please provide one yourselves or organise somebody to do it for you.

(N.B. This usually works best if you ask them before the event!

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Other Events 2020 15th February

Wee Wheelie Wander, North Otago Branch. (For 50cc two-wheelers.) Contact Wendy and Gordon 027 224 2018 or 03 434 7215

22nd February

All British Day 2020. Featuring the Mini. North Otago Branch

22nd February

Nelson Swap Meet Bazaar, Richmond.

Phone 03 540 3115 or mobile 027 590 1042

1st March

Wings & Wheels Day, Taieri Airfield. Contact Geoff Laing 027 2248043 or Don Lockie 027 277 8903 or email: info@otagoaeroclub.co.nz

8th March

Best of British Charity Motoring Day, Dunedin. Contact Barbara Macdonald 021 1599488

15th March

National AGM, Wellington

th

4 April

South Canterbury Swapmeet & Bazaar Contact: Michelle 03 693 9093

10th – 12th April (Easter Weekend)

28th National Morris Minor Convention. To be held in Greymouth. Contact Ross McClelland rossrachaelmc@gmail.com

10th – 13th April

National North Island Easter Rally, Horowhenua.

Michael Gaffaney: phone 04 905 2402 or email michael@gaffaney.com

2nd May

Ashburton Branch Swapmeet

rd

23 August

National Day Daffodil Rally for Cancer

10th – 13th September

Hawke’s Bay Vintage Only Rally.

Contact Esther Smith humber@xtra.co.nz or Rod McKenzie email rod.mckenzie.wpk@xtra.co.nz

16th to 18th October

National Veteran Rally, Gore Branch.

Contact Paul Herron: phone (03) 208 6121 2021

17 – 22 January th

nd

Vero International Festival of Historic Motoring, New Plymouth. http://www.historicmotoring.co.nz

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Tuesday Ramble 25th February

10.30pm: meet at the Clubrooms 10.45am: depart for Winton Visiting Lyall and Lenore Bailey’s 1.5 acre garden and Vintage car collection Bring a picnic lunch, something to sit on and a $2 donation Numbers to: Gerry Kennedy 027 233 4634 No later than 21st February 24

Clearwater Capers Sunday 1st March

12 noon: meet at the Clubrooms 12.30pm: first car away on a short and simple run to the lunch venue Bring money for your lunch and $8 entry fee for the destination Charlie Davis 027 451 5234 and Ray Taylor 027 696 2965 25

Frank Robson Memorial Run Sunday 8th March

Full details will be available at the February monthly meeting and in the next issue of The Wiper The Editor

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Easy Smiles: Natural Disasters Just Happen Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt, tsunamis to devastate, hurricanes to swirl around and no one teaches a man how to choose a wife.

Natural disasters just happen.

Sent in by Evan Henderson

Answer to Last Month’s Brain Teaser I have to say, at my first read-through, I was completely stumped. I’m usually not great at solving these types of brain teasers, so I wasn’t surprised. Still, I was determined to flex my brain muscles and at least try to come up with the answer.

Here’s a hint if, like me, you’re thinking, “But they’re all named Crimson.” Try reading the riddle aloud.

Any luck?

If you’ve had enough and are ready for the answer, here it comes………

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The answer is Mark Crimson.

Why? The riddle reads “? Crimson. He broke your window.”

What’s that symbol before Crimson?

Yep, a question mark!

Question Mark Crimson.

Get it?

It’s actually kind of clever, but so simple at the same time!

Easy Smiles: Special Package deal for Businessmen An Airline introduced a special package for Business men - Buy your ticket, get your wife's ticket free.

After great success, the company sent letters to all the wives asking “How was the trip?”

All of them gave the same reply..."What trip?"

Sent in by Evan Henderson 28

REMINDERS A few of the vinyl “VCC Wings” badges (as featured on the front cover) are still available from the Treasurer, cost $2 each.

VCC name badges: are available from Van De Water Jewellers at a discounted cost of $25. These badges are black with white lettering and bear your name and “Gore VCC”. N.B. If you’re not wearing one at a meeting you are likely to attract the Sheriff’s attention and be fined!

To Let: the Gore Vintage Car Club rooms are available to VCC members for personal functions at very reasonable cost.

Email version of The Wiper A reminder for the computer whizz-kids out there. The Wiper is also available by email; either as a link to an online version or as an emailed pdf file. The pictures are in colour, it arrives earlier and the hyperlinks work too! Just send me your email address if you would like to try this.

The Editor

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What We Did on Our Holidays 2019 TOPSI (Top of the South Island) Tour 3rd – 7th October

by Bill & Dawn Sheddan Nelson was the destination of this year’s Tour that the Mainland Branch of the Sunbeam Car Club organised. As it’s a long way in a day, over 11 hours driving, I decided to break the trip with a two-day stopover in Christchurch both going up and coming back.

The Sunbeam Rapier Fastback was going well with the recent new motor, the result of a blow up two TOPSIs back. I had everything under the car replaced or reconditioned including the alternator and starter prior to our “Crossing Australia Tour” in 2013 and with only a few thousand miles on the clock since then I expected a trouble-free trip. However I still checked everything over and the only fault found was a low brake fluid level. A search of the likely leakage points revealed nothing suspicious, the low level was put down to evaporation over the years so I topped up the reservoir and all’s good.

Outside the Brickmill Cafe

So off we go on Tuesday 1st October on a trouble-free (6 hour) drive to Christchurch for some shopping and R n R. On Thursday morning we rendezvoused at the Brick Mill Café north of Christchurch with a bunch of other Sunbeamers. Included in the group was Robin Wilkinson’s newly 30

restored and immaculate black Sunbeam Tiger on its first Tour with only a mile or two on the clock. It has been rumoured that Robin likes to restore a car then sell it off. I had to test this theory and was told it’s not going to happen this time!

We toodled up the road and at the Hanmer turn-off took the inland route to Kaikoura thus missing a lot of the road reconstruction works on State Highway 1. At our lunch stop a past-problematic Alpine had to make its presence felt once again, petrol pouring from one of the twin carbs. This was quickly diagnosed by the half dozen or so “experts” who were clustering around as a faulty needle valve. Sure enough after Mike removed the carbs and the needle valve a little piece of metal filing dropped out of the valve. A quick reassemble and we were off again.

On the way to Kaikoura we visited the establishment of David Dicker and Rodin Cars. Over the past few years he has been building up an impressive futuristic motor racing business having purchased the complete 2011 Lotus 125 project including five cars. This Lotus project was not a success for them as they had various design and reliability problems. David along with his young team of Canterbury University graduates has completely redesigned the cars, structurally, aerodynamically and mechanically. New in-house designed and made body panels, wheels, steering wheel, turbos, exhaust, brakes etc. etc. This was just the challenge that tech guru David Dicker needed.

He is also building, from scratch, a 375 kph supercar, the body and most components are built on site which we were privy to see (but not photograph) and the V10 motor is being built to David Dicker’s design in the United States. A full-sized laser-printed model of the motor was onsite to help with the layout and design of the rest of the project. On-site also in various sheds there is over 20 million dollars’ worth of equipment including a 3D laser printer which was printing various brackets in titanium while we were there. I actually looked through the little screen on the machine as it layered titanium one micron thick onto the little brackets. This machine was fuelled by liquid hydrogen which was also produced on site.

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One of the FZED cars

Rows and rows of special tyres and wheels 32

Among the other laser printers and computer equipment were two autoclaves used to cure the on-site manufactured carbon fibre body panels and parts. This is high tech equipment with nothing else like it in Australia or New Zealand. To say that I was impressed is an understatement. There is also a 2.8 kilometre race track that is used by drivers often flown out from Australia for a weekend driving experience. Their first drive is in a McLaren to get the feel of the track then one of the various Ferraris to get a faster perspective then, on day three, they progress to the FZED, the highly modified Lotus 125. This all comes at a price which after a bit of prodding I was told is in the $20 to $30K region all up for a one-person three-day experience. Google David Dicker Cars and read up on him including the online article that was printed in NZ Autocar. Google also Rodin Cars. Very interesting. [Or see the links in “Online Bonuses�. Ed.]

One of the Ferraris 33

The test track

After a couple of hours there, including a squirt around his track, we motored on to Kaikoura for the night.

The drive around the coast the next day was a stop-start affair with road reconstruction but we motored on to Blenheim and skirted around the back roads and then on to Nelson. Several of us had a stop at Basis in Renwick for some obscure clip or bit of rubber, me included.

At Nelson we were one Alpine short with the clutch on Pete Jacobs’ car tossing it in. I believe it was repaired after the Tour and is now safely back in Oamaru.

Another motel and another “gathering”, another short walk to a restaurant for a meal then finally bed. “Gathering” you ask. Just try being the first to stand in the door of your motel unit with a glass in hand. Next thing somebody comes over to join you, then another. Next thing you know 34

there are over 30 jammed into the little motel room all with something to say. (And drink) social Sunbeamers. Nice.

Saturday dawned fine and with the promise of a nice day the early birds headed off to the local market but us older more sensible ones thought banking zeds more important.

Lunch was at the Jellyfish Restaurant in Mapua where I had scampi for the first time. Sweet little mini crayfish tails. Yum. We then motored to a mystery destination which turned out to be a private airfield where there were several small planes and microlights including a replica biplane that the owner Bob Wagner had built. This was a beautiful little plane skinned in highly polished ply and powered by a seven-cylinder radial Rotax engine.

He also had a really nice original Model T Sedan, an American import that was for sale on Trademe sometime ago but didn’t sell because of the lack of the necessary paperwork to get it road legal. Because Henry Ford said it could be used as a tractor and Bob had the documentation to prove that, then why not get it registered as a tractor? Problem solved. This is probably the only Model T tractor in New Zealand.

Dinner on Saturday evening was a little strained but no reflection on our rally organiser. The Lone Star had bookings for our party months ago and the booking confirmed the day before. Despite our 7pm arrival we were not seated till one and a half hours later and those that stayed were still eating at 10pm.

The next day we packed ready for our drive to St Arnaud but first we had a visit to the WOW (World of Wearable Arts) Centre. The impressive collection of exotic vehicles as you first enter the premises had been added to since I was last there. Now housed in a huge shed out back are approx.

100 vehicles ranging from the common mundane 60s to 70s cars to beautifully-restored cars of the veteran and vintage eras.

The drive to St Arnaud was nice - if you like driving on great roads with scenic bush-clad views in all directions. I do and I am sure everybody else 35

did too. After another “gathering” (this time in the sun outside our motel) we all assembled in the dining room to watch the footy while enjoying a great dinner.

Next day at the photo shoot by the lake it was time to say goodbye to the northern “extras” that had joined us southern ‘beamers including Pete and Jan Williamson who had put together the itinerary for this year’s TOPSI. Thanks Peter and Jan for another great Tour with clear instructions to places of interest.

We continued the inland route exiting onto SH1 and then a drive down to Christchurch for another couple of nights. After leaving Christchurch and travelling south on Wednesday afternoon, about Oamaru I noticed the brake pedal getting a bit spongy again so used it sparingly, often discreetly using the handbrake while descending hills. I sneaked into Gore without a mention of the brakes and checked the brake fluid level next day. Empty!

So back to the garage to try to find the leak. The hydraulic fluid had been leaking out the back of the master cylinder and down behind the carpets as some of you will have guessed by now, so I didn’t return home quite as unscathed as my other half thought.

I am looking forward to MIDSI next year already, then BOTSI in 2021 providing I am still around to organise it. Gore, Invercargill and Stewart Island are in my sights.

Bill (and Dawn) Sheddan

Easy Smiles: Cool Message by a Wife Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't teach me how to handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement."

Sent in by Evan Henderson

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Spotted!

It seems that reporters from Gore’s newspaper, The Ensign, are still following our Branch members around!

Ray Taylor appears in the January 14th edition with his 1931 Model A Deluxe Coupe. https://www.theensign.co.nz/community/an-indisputableclassic/?fbclid=IwAR0SpYN1soY5x4GihWjLSq0DtwoTVVuh_ZOjmx O7JFJip0Ax3rbqRKYuO60 The Editor

Online Bonuses Lyall & Lenore Bailey’s garden: https://www.southlandgardens.co.nz/la-marque/: David Dicker: https://www.autocar.co.nz/car-reviews-app/david-dicker-anextraordinary-man-an-extraordinary-vision and https://autoweek.com/article/people/rodin-cars-david-dicker-has-notime-get-replacement-ferrari-keys Rodin Cars: https://rodin-cars.com/ and http://www.nzautocar.co.nz/car-reviews-app/rodin-fzed-single-seaterracer and https://www.autocar.co.nz/car-reviews-app/2019-rodin-cars-fzed-reviewtrack-test Shut Down: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nll2r0h8rRE The Editor 37

Gore VCC Supper Roster 2020/2021 February March April May June July August September October November December January

IF YOU ARE UNAVAILABLE ON YOUR ROSTERED NIGHT, PLEASE ARRANGE YOUR OWN SUBSTITUTE.

Russell Newland To be advised To be advised To be advised To be advised To be advised To be advised To be advised To be advised To be advised To be advised To be advised

We need to cater for about 30 to 40 members each night. The cuppa and serving of the supper is to be arranged within the Social Committee.

If necessary, small items can be bought at Gore New World and charged to the Gore VCC account.

My thanks to those who have come forward. If the month you are listed for doesn’t suit let me know so I can rearrange them or you can work with another person on the roster to swap.

Des Brewster

Easy Smiles: Habit of Talking in Sleep A lady to doctor: My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?

Doctor: Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake.

Sent in by Evan Henderson 38

Second Hand Goods In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.

“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain.”

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news.

After a time, someone asked: “How much will a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a male brain; $200 for a female brain.”

The moment turned awkward.

Some of the men actually had to “try” not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women.

A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the male brain so much more than a female brain?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the female brains a lot lower because they’ve been used.”

Spotted by the Editor

Did You Know?

Movie trailers were originally shown after the movie, which is why they are called trailers.

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COOKERY CORNER Carrot Salad Dice 6 carrots, 2 onions and 2 cups of celery Bring to the boil ½ cup oil, ½ cup white vinegar, a small cup of sugar, 450ml tomato soup Pour over the diced veggies. When cool refrigerate Keeps well Natalie Kennedy

More Puns Please My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.

What is a thesaurus’ favourite dessert? Synonym buns.

A relief map shows where the restrooms are.

Sent in by Janet Brewster

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ADVERTISEMENTS FOR SALE 1972 MGBGT, manual with overdrive.

87,000 kms. Very tidy. New carpet. Very good interior. Excellent bodywork and paint. All hard work done. $13,000.

For more information etc. contact: Russell Newland, phone (03) 208 5899 or 027 442 5406 3/3

FOR SALE Expressions of interest are invited for 4 Firestone tyres, size 6.00 x 20 inch in good order and suitable for split-rim wheels.

Contact Garry Mulqueen 03 208 9232 2/3

WANTED Chauffeur for the Festival Rally as “I’m a bit off colour at the moment”.

Would prefer proven ability to drive Veteran cars although crash course training can be given. (Slow learners should be aware he’s currently walking with a stick. Ed.) If you think this is a job for you (have you seen your doctor recently?) please call Greg Elder ASAP as he doesn’t want to miss the fun and Daphne needs a day off.

WANTED From the VCC Facebook page: Calling all South Island 1952 Austin Atlantic owners. Can you help with this query from https://www.facebook.com/samuel.pierce.50767: “My grandfather had one he rebuilt and sold and his birthday is coming up. I'm not too sure how many he’s got left (birthdays that is) and I’d super love to organise a ride in one of these cars again, would happily pay for all costs. He’s 85 this year and the car would be needed on Sunday 26th January around Timaru.”

Message Sam directly if you can help 41

FOR SALE and WANTED advertisements are free to Club members.

Each advertisement will be published in 3 consecutive issues.

Please contact the Editor

Newsletters from other branches Most of the Branch Newsletters are now posted on the VCC Website each month: www.vcc.org.nz/news-from-our-branches A handful of branches still send us printed copies and these are displayed on the stand in the Library. Most of the others are received by email as pdf files or links to online versions. These can be requested from the Editor or the Secretary.

Tailpiece

Sent in by Stewart Quertier [My apologies for omitting to credit Evan Henderson for last month’s “Tailpiece”.

The Editor] 42

Run reports, articles of interest, photos, technical tips, letters and feedback are always welcome.

Please send all contributions to David North

before the 21st of each month for inclusion in the next Wiper If you don't have a computer I can type up a hand-written article or put your notes or jottings into shape for The Wiper. If you prefer I can even take notes as you talk to me and write up the story for you - I am always ready to help so just let me know how! e-mail: northd14@gmail.com physical and mail: 4 Trotter Street, Riverton 9822 telephone (mobile) 021 172 3281 Remember that insuring your vehicle(s), boat(s), house(s), contents or travel with Vero Insurance and quoting the branch number (300135) results in the branch receiving a commission payment Please support our advertisers so that they, in turn, can continue to support the Branch The opinions and statements in The Wiper are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the policy or views of the Gore branch or of the VCC. The branch accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any statements.

The Wiper is printed by i-Cue 10 Wood Street, Invercargill.

Telephone (03) 218 3350 43

GORE BRANCH VINTAGE CAR CLUB OF NEW ZEALAND INC.

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