Famous one-liners from the hilarious Rodney Dangerfield

Famous one-liners from the hilarious Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield was a standup comedian whose most notable catchphrase was “I don’t get no respect!” and on which most of his jokes were based. Here are some of his most famous one-liners of which you may know a few.

1. “Boy what a hotel that was. Why, they stole my towel!” – Rodney Dangerfield 2. “For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.” – Rodney Dangerfield 3. “I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps … from moving cars.” – Rodney Dangerfield 4. “I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” – Rodney Dangerfield 5. “I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.” – Rodney Dangerfield 6. “I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.” – Rodney Dangerfield 7. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield 8. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” – Rodney Dangerfield 9. “I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” – Rodney Dangerfield 10. “I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous. Everyone hasn’t met me yet.” – Rodney Dangerfield

11. “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” – Rodney Dangerfield 12. “I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.” – Rodney Dangerfield 13. “I went to see my doctor. ‘Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror… I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me?’ He said, ‘I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.'” – Rodney Dangerfield 14. “It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” – Rodney Dangerfield 15. “My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.” – Rodney Dangerfield 16. “My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah. My wife just broke up with her boyfriend.” – Rodney Dangerfield 17. “My mother had morning sickness after I was born.” – Rodney Dangerfield 18. “My uncle’s dying wish: He wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.” – Rodney Dangerfield 19. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!” – Rodney Dangerfield 20. “My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.” – Rodney Dangerfield 21. “My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

22. “My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.” – Rodney Dangerfield 23. “My wife’s not too smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. She said, ‘All kids smell that way.'” – Rodney Dangerfield 24. “Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, ‘No, but I did get the license number.'” – Rodney Dangerfield 25. “Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.” – Rodney Dangerfield If you are looking for a good laugh, check out www.viewhall.com today.

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