THIRTY ONE: Issue 5

Page 9

When I think about my journey, I get so excited!

By the time I was 13, all I wanted to do was prove

Of course, I’m relieved that my past is in the past,

to my family (and to the world) that I could live

but I am also extremely grateful that I can see

life on my own and make my own choices. I

God’s Grace on each page of my life story. HE is

went wherever my heart led me to go, not once

the anthem of my life!

asking or receiving any form of advice from an

• He saved me from destructive relationships.

adult. These choices led to some seriously bad

• He carried me home when I lay drunk on the

relationships. My heart was extremely vulnerable

floor of a night club.

and I was on a downward spiral!

• He protected me from huge accidents which could’ve taken my life. • He guided my steps when I couldn’t finish high school because of a lack of finances.

During this season, alcohol became my source of comfort on the weekends. I just wanted to be everywhere and do everything, and there was no

And the list goes on and on because He is a

way I was going to stay home. Boyfriend or not,

good, good Father.

I would find someone to hang out with. Deep in my heart, all I longed for was to be accepted…

And yet, despite all of these obvious encounters

needed… wanted. I can’t tell you how many

with God, my heart remained hardened towards

hearts I broke, or how many lies I told, or how

Him. How could that be?

many friends I’ve lost along the way.

To answer this question, let me take you back

Only God knows how I managed to wake up for

to the age of 7 years old. It was one of my first

school on Monday mornings. And yet, despite my

encounters with what I now recognize as a spirit

destructive lifestyle, I still managed to finish school

of ‘abandonment.’ We had gone to the zoo that

with relatively good results. His grace is very real!

day, but when it was time to leave, they forgot me there. I sat on a bench crying for hours until I was

Thankfully, God stepped back into my life when I

finally picked up. It really left an impression on

was 18 years old. I clearly remember Him saying

me. Getting left behind happened many times

“Enough is enough, Menaka. You are mine and

in the years that followed. I can vividly recall the

you need to embrace who I’ve called you to be!”

familiar feelings of abandonment… they became

These words were so clear in my head. Yes! For

very real to me.

once, I was not being led by my heart.

6


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