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WAINWRIGHT

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Volume XX-Issue 1072 April 1, 2025

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5009 50 AVE, VERMILION, AB

Massive Oil Discovery Under The Vermilion Voice Building

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A pump jack set up outside the Vermilion Voice. Photo Vermilion Voice

Lorna Hamilton

“ We were expecting to see some means for our office space. Do we get ing can begin. Mayor Ima Jokin assured residents that the town council will “careminor pockets of natural gas, but this is a evicted for an oil rig?” Editor Lorna Hamilton had a more fully review all options, ensuring that “Alberta’s Next Oil Boom Could Start whole new ball game,” said Dr. Alan Todd Right Here!” the lead geologist on the project. “Our practical approach: “I suppose I’ll have to Vermilion benefits from this discovery In a shocking turn of events, geologists preliminary estimates suggest that this start covering the oil industry now! Maybe while maintaining our community’s charm have discovered a massive untapped oil reserve could be worth millions—possibly I can trade my notepad for a hard hat and and character.” reserve directly beneath The Vermilion billions—in untapped crude oil.” get an exclusive look at the first drill site.” Rumors are already circulating that Voice newspaper building. Experts say Excitement and Mixed Emotions at Meanwhile, Graphic Designer Sally major oil companies are preparing bids for this find could rival some of Alberta’s larg- The Vermilion Voice. Pyoun saw a branding opportunity: “I’m drilling rights. Some locals have started est oil fields, potentially transforming the Upon hearing the news, The Vermilion already working on a new Black Gold speculating about job booms, increased local economy overnight. Voice staff had mixed reactions. Edition of the newspaper. Imagine the tourism, and whether The Vermilion Voice The discovery was made last week Publisher Sue Chikie was both thrilled headlines: ‘Vermilion Strikes It Rich!’ or staff might soon be driving luxury cars to work. when a team of visiting researchers from and concerned: “Well, I always knew ‘The Voice Goes Crude!’” For now, the paper will continue to print the Alberta Geological Survey conducted our newspaper was valuable, but I had What Happens Next? routine subsurface testing in the area. no idea it was literally sitting on a goldWhile the potential for an oil boom is as usual—unless, of course, the building What they found was nothing short of mine! This could be a game-changer for exciting, town officials have stated that suddenly starts gushing oil. Happy April Fools’ Day, Vermilion! extraordinary. the town—though I do wonder what this more studies are needed before any drillReporter


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