FROM THE GENTS: FIRST DATE TURNOFFS Ever wanted to get inside the male mind? We thought so! We turned to some guys to get the inside scoop on what they’re really thinking. The question we all wanted answered: What is your biggest first-date turnoff?
When the girl doesn’t make an effort. I mean, clearly she knows I’m attracted to her. I asked her out on the date, after all. But if she seems un-entertained throughout, I’m likely to think she just accepted the invitation out of politeness, rather than out of genuine interest. If she’d like a second date, it needs to be apparent that she’s enjoying the first one. MICHAEL, LAW STUDENT
Too much too soon. If a girl starts talking to me like I’m her therapist, spiritual director, or career counselor, I start looking for the door. It’s easy for things to get way too intimate even when everyone keeps their hands to themselves. My ideal date (and mate) is someone independent and fun, not someone who needs me to fix their problems. MATT, MAGAZINE EDITOR
Being late. I understand a few minutes, but coming from a dude who is also trying to get by while juggling an NYC-type agenda, I think it is important to appreciate that when someone makes time to be with you, they may actually want to see things go somewhere further than the first date. Being late comes off as really inconsiderate right off the bat. I may say it is OK to save face, but I am already thinking, “How much waiting will I be doing in this relationship if it even happens?” MAHLULI, PH.D. STUDENT
When you aren’t yourself. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, tell me what you actually think. What I want to hear is you. KENDEL, TEACHER
When you don’t reach for the check. If you don’t reach for the check, then I can’t say, “No, no, I’ll get this,” and then we miss a great opportunity to gauge our level of repartee as we decide how we’ll pay the bill. Conversely, don’t expect me to pick up the whole check. DAVID, ACTOR
DID YOU KNOW?
In a study by Dr. Brad Wilcox, a sociologist at the University of Virginia, 67 percent of women believe in soulmates, compared to 63 percent of men. Those who believe in soulmates are found to be 150 percent more likely to end up divorced.
The biggest turn-off has to be indifference. The first date is usually about getting to know each other and if someone is constantly texting a friend or distracting herself, it sends a signal that she doesn’t really value your time with her. Even if you decide you aren’t interested in the other person, at least be respectful and show that you appreciate the other person and the time he is making for you. THOMAS, SALES
If she gets drunk. If she throws herself at me. Or, if she gets drunk and throws herself at me! A woman who respects herself and knows who she is . . . that’s attractive. MIKE, MUSICIAN
VERILY MAGAZINE · TEASER 2012
Real Style. Real Relationships. Real Life.