Vol. 1, Issue 10.5 4/3/2013
Dear Reader, This issue in no way reflects the thoughts, views, or opinions of Van Buren Schools or its teachers, staff, or administration. This issue is The Knight Writer’s version of an April fool’s satirical edition. Do not attempt any of the suggestions in the articles; they are meant to be humorous. We hope you enjoy and stay tuned for the next (serious) edition of The Knight Writer!
CONTENTS
-- The Knight Writer Staff
Sports.........................6 Track Tag
Quidditch
How Hot is Too Hot?
Chandler Riffel
Mind Blowing Health Facts
News.......................2 Fashion Hazards!!! Students Missing! How To Be a Model Citizen!
The Knight Life...........3 Album Review - Kidz Bop Book Review - Hello Whale Heard in the Halls Movie Review - High School Musical
Entertainment.........4-5 Restaurant Review - Taco Bell Ask Veebee Senior Spotlights: Mr Frost and Mrs. Nye Teacher Feature: Mrs. Inbody
Senior Spotlights: Mr. Frost & Mrs. Nye Page 4
Meet the Staff Allison Arthur Sarah Benson Ryan Brauneller Heather Clark Jessica Cunningham Laura Endicott Madison Endicott Michelle Flanagan Jessica Gilts Brice Lawrence Caitlin Nieset Ian Rafferty Chandler Riffel Rachel Silver Jacob Szczublewski Jonathan Tobias Alisa Warren
image courtesy of treksinscifi.com (fair use)
All over Van Buren, there have been many injuries due to the latest fashion trends. Here are the top things you need to look out for when dressing yourself for school. Remember, The Knight Writer is just looking out for your safety! Skinny Jeans: It has been reported several times that kids, both male and female, have been losing circulation in their legs calling for immediate evacuation by ambulance, and some even by air. The best way to avoid injury is to turn back the clock, go to the 80’s, and get parachute pants. These offer a loose, flowy material great for dancing or lounging around. Leg Warmers: Reports indicate that girls have been sent to the hospital with third degree burns around
their shins and ankles. The only simple solution to avoid these crazy burns is to not wear them. While it’s great to look hot for winter, this hot is just well…too hot! Head Bands: These sporty straps used to pull back hair and get a cute look have been lowering I.Q points and causing major migraines for several years! There’s never been a clinical reason for the cause of migraines but now we may know why. The tightness to the elastic strap is causing loss off circulation to the head, sometimes so severe that some women faint. An alternate option to these harmful straps can be bobby pins or hair barrettes. Both these tools help hold back hair, and give you the desired look without the hazard. See Fashion Hazards Page 2
How to Be a Model Citizen Laura Endicott, Madi Endicott, and Heather Clark
As American citizens over the age of thirteen we have the right – no, the duty to our country – to be high-class, role model patriots. Not only should we be an example to the younger folks, but we must have common sense and courtesy in order to get along with and enjoy the company of our fellow brethren. Here are some Emily Post worthy tips and tricks to help you be the best civilian you can be.
it with enthusiasm to show how much of a pleasure it is to be of their acquaintance. When being interviewed for a job: Use the word 'like' as much as possible. It shows your knowledge of similes.
When you make eye contact with someone across the room: Maintain the eye contact. Never stop staring. It will allow When eating in public: you to mentally close the distance Never put your elbows on between you, not to mention the table, but always your chin. portray dominance you possess. You also must use your toes to When asked if you want handle your silverware; it really butter on your popcorn at the shows how well your parents movies: raised you. It’s impressive, very image courtesy of lolbrary.com (fair use) Whip out your fatness and impressive. squeeze it like you mean it. Show When meeting someone for the first time: them your true desire for that popcorn butter. You may Instead of shaking their hands, plaster your hand even receive some extra buttery sauce of goodness, on their face and scream hello. It enables you to the nectar from the gods. See Model Citizen Page 2 connect with them on a personal level right away. Do
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News
Model Citizen When asked “How are you?”: Instead of responding with the normal, “I’m doing well,” break out in your best dance move. After you shake it and drop it like it’s hot simply say, “Does that answer your question?” When asked a question by a teacher and you don’t know the answer: Hide under your desk. Your teacher will love your sense of bravery and question your mental sanity at the same time. They will never call on you again. When you’re on the way to the dentist: Make it a necessity to eat a pile of ribs and Oreos for dessert. Don’t brush your teeth. Don’t wipe your face. Don’t floss. For what you're paying them, make that dentist work. When you can’t get someone’s attention: Poke the person five times… in the eye, until you receive their attention or perhaps they bleed. It's their own fault for ignoring you. They are not being a model citizen. You are! When asked to prom by someone you don’t want to go with: Let them down easy by saying “By law I am not allowed to attend events with children under the age of 18.” They will definitely understand. When behind someone who is walking slow in the hallway: Don’t be patient, tackle them with aggression. This will increase the efficiency of the hallway and get you and your fellow hurried classmates to class on time. When anxiously waiting in the lunch line: Stop waiting and cut to the front. This is your lunch. It shows how courteous you are. When asked to repeat yourself: The first time is okay, go ahead reiterate. The second time, give it one more chance. But the third time, grab the person’s head and moo into their ears. They obviously only speak cow. When trying to show your crush that you’re interested: Give him a permanent wink. Keep that eye closed, it increases attraction. If he looks at you awkwardly, that just shows how much it’s working.
Fashion Hazards Scarves: DANGER! CHOKING HAZARD! With scarves being the big winter trend this year you must be careful not to tie them too tight. This could result in loss of circulation to the head, swelling, bruising, reddening in the face, and brain loss. The best way to avoid these side effects are to make sure there is a five inch slack between the scarf and your neck; also, be sure to not tie the scarf too intricately. In an emergency you might need to take it off quickly to avoid further injury. Yoga Pants: A huge fad that has swept the nation is yoga image courtesy of lolbrary.com (fair use) pants. These stretchy pants have caused fainting of bystanders, pinkeye, and hints of ADHD. This has been labeled as a public eye-sore and should be worn in the comfort of your own home. While the said “pants” have been rumored to be comfy, you are causing other students to deter from learning. It should also be understood that it takes the same amount of movement and effort to put on jeans. Help stop the learning disadvantage yoga pants cause; put on a pair of jeans, a kid’s future counts on it!
MIA In the Halls Jessica Cunningham & Madi Endicott
A surprising turn of events has led to a sudden disappearance of Van Buren students and teachers. A wide variety of explanations are being considered. Some say a mass game of hooky is being played, while others have suggested a much crazier conclusion that aliens are to blame. The most common belief is that it’s a nationwide disease called “Spring Break” that tends to infect all teenagers around this time. There are a few television channels—such as MTV—that have recorded live footage of teenagers as they’re infected. The footage includes students bursting through their high school’s front doors and running frantically around the parking lot in what appears to be a sort of wild celebration. Many of the girls infected have been seen on the street singing at the top of their lungs One Direction’s song “Live While We’re Young.” Their actions have parents, scientists, and even the president of the United States severely concerned. Symptoms of “Spring Break” include excessive and unnecessary screaming, partying, and a need to wear bikinis. Few teens have also been spotted at airports, fleeing the country with suspicious suitcases that could only contain shorts, tank tops, and suntan lotion. Scientists, doctors, and Barack Obama have been hard at work researching this yearly outbreak that has occurred for decades, however are unsure if they’ll find a cure for the crazy disease. Due to “Spring Break’s” short time span, scientists find it difficult to examine the victims and pin point a direct cause. The symptoms are not only violent, but temporary and fleeting, making investigations nearly impossible. It’s been discussed that a cure is not even needed, as the disease tends to disappear completely after about a week when the infected children return to school.
The Knight Life
Hello, Whale: A True Inspiration to All Jessica Cunningham
This book! It had me laughing out loud in public, bawling my eyes out late at night, and at a few points borderline about to throw it at the wall. The plot was Image courtesy of leftyseditorial.com (fair use) exhilarating, without a dull moment. From the first “Hello, Whale” to the next and the next and the next I was captivated. The chemistry between the whales, their fiery dialogue, and the full imagery the book evokes is unforgettable. I’m seriously surprised it isn’t on Oprah’s list yet, because it should be. It covers many deep emotional issues, like saying hello, with such elegance. If you get the chance, get this book! Hello, Whale is my new favorite.
Kidz Bop 12: Bopping to the Top of the Charts Rachel Silver
Kidz Bop 12 was finally released on July 31, 2007 and it has been filling my play lists since day one. The children on the CD did amazing renditions of Rihanna's “Umbrella”, Kelly Clarkson's “Never Again”, Gwen Stefani's amazing “Sweet Escape”, and more. Do you love it? You're not alone!“I'm obsessed with it!” says anonymous senior who may or may not be my brother. “It still brings tears to my eyes. Some say that the children w h o o n c e wailed these beautiful lyrics are now around the age of 16 and Image courtesy of lyricspond.com (fair use) regretting ever being on the album. I say that they should be proud that they are my (and probably many others) favorite artists. This fresh, new album, being only six years old, will never cease to amaze me. Don't be surprised if you see some of these kid's names in lights someday, folks. Do we have any Avril Lavigne fans out there? I am confident that you will be thoroughly impressed with the Kidz Bop version of “Girlfriend”. If you haven't gotten the album yet it is still for sale for a reasonable $11.69 and don't worry, nobody will judge you if you cry.
Boppin To The Top Of My Hit List Jacob Szczublewski
When I was a kid, I went to my aunt’s house for a small family gathering. In other words, the other children and I just played and such while the adults talked. One of my cousins really loved High School Musical and wanted to watch it. Being just as grumpy then as I am now, I bashed the thing to high heaven. I vowed never to watch such a horrid creation. I guess I’m a liar, because I recently saw the “film” in question. I thought many things during the course of it, but mainly I thought this: How, by Odin’s beard, does a basketball player with no musical background manage to break into perfect vocal harmony with a complete stranger- not once but again and again-, do elaborate dance numbers, and, most of all, how does everybody else do the exact same thing?! Image courtesy of kissthemgoodbye.net (fair use) First off, the plot is ludicrous and everything is portrayed inaccurately. A bunch of high school students at a ski lodge and all the “fun” they have is karaoke? Right, there wouldn’t be any semblance of shenanigans there… Looking past that, boy meets girl. Boy and girl like each other, and they decide to sing karaoke together. That must be what Disney thinks teenagers do to court each other. Despite the protagonist having absolutely nothing in the way of musical training thus far (if he does, it is never mentioned), he manages to belt out a rather nice attempt at a romantic song. From there things just get more and more ridiculous. The girl (Ga-something) transfers schools to the same school that her plucky protagonistic pal she sang karaoke with attends. I guess sheer luck is how the Disney universe operates. At least things couldn’t get any less ridiculous… What’s that? A girl name Sharpay? YouYou’re joking. Right? Right?! No?! Ahhh... Alright. I wanted to give up right then; only through sheer willpower and tying myself to my chair did I finish the movie. Turns out Sherpi is trying out for the lead in the musical, alongside her twin brother. A bit awkward, seeing as the leads have a romantic role… Sharpie dislikes that the now romantically entwined protagonists are a threat. Her rage increases to that of a thousand fiery suns as the young couple earns Image courtesy of neoseeker.com (fair use) a callback audition for the roles. The rest of the people in this film appear to dislike either main protagonist being involved in multiple activities and sabotage them with a laughable plot: Use a Wi-Fi link to a camera to get Gabri-whatever to watch the basketball fellow say she isn’t as important to him as basketball is. How he fails to realize a camera is on is a mystery. At that time, I started trying to gnaw my way free, attacking the ropes and at one point my own leg. More dreadful music follows, as does repentance by the ones who came up with the trick. Big surprise, it’s almost like Disney thinks no one but the main villain is evil… Speaking of Sharkey, she devises an elaborate plot to move the callback audition to the same day as the basketball game and whatever crap that main chick has. Apparently no one in the drama department realizes the big basketball game is that day, despite it seeming to be the biggest deal in the school… Through some semi-amusing shenanigans, the game and the other thingy is delayed, our heroes sing again and anger Chardonnay because they earn the role. They then return to their other events and win or something and ride off into the sunset. I’m not sure; my head was hurting quite terribly by this point. I’ve had more enjoyable times watching paint dry. Or watching grass grow. Or, as I found out, gnawing my own leg off. Pretty much anything would be better. If you are a fan of this atrocity and are by some chance offended, go ahead and be grumpy. God knows I am…
Heard in the Halls Jessica Gilts • That math test was hard. • I gotta go get something from my locker. • Can I borrow a pen? • The sub in my third period is weird. • I wonder what’s for lunch. • I lost my agenda book.
• I don’t feel like going to science… • My head hurts! • I dropped my pencil… • I forgot my notes at home. • Her jacket was ugly… • My calculator batteries died! • I have to go to the bathroom!
4 Vol. 1 Issue 10.5 April 3, 2013
Living Mas On Tiffin Avenue Alisa Warren A misconception installed by many is that one cannot enjoy a sophisticated, culturally enriched dining experience with what is offered in Findlay, Ohio. Well, have any of these critics visited the Tiffin Avenue Taco Bell? I’m highly doubtful, as it was one of the most exciting restaurant experiences I have ever been delighted to partake in. Along for this adventure was fellow critic and brother Saige Warren, who has quite the refined taste buds. Prepared to dive into this quest of fine dining, we entered the doors of Taco Bell to be greeted by the spell-binding aroma of Mexican cuisine and impressive decor that the restaurant had to offer. The lovely ambiance, shaped by the warm lighting and the playing of smooth R&B, was tied together by the walls of vibrant hues. Another thing worth noting was the stylish modern art that adorned the walls, adding to the lavish feel of the experience. Approaching the counter, we were amazed by the staggering array of menu items displayed above. Of course, it included classic Mexican staples, such as tacos, burritos, and nachos. But what caught our eye was the revolutionary twist on these items. Not to mention, a Mexican Pizza? This was a cultural explosion, worthy of being deemed mind-blowing. We ordered this and a “Five-Buck Box,” which included a beverage of choice, a burrito, a regular taco, and a Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco. We planned to finish this meal with a decadent Mexican dessert classic, churros. This was fine-dining at its finest, at an even finer price of subeleven dollars. This had to be too good to be true. After placing our order, I was handed a cup to be filled at the fountain machine: a state Courtesy of wikipedia.org (fair use) of the art contraption made to satisfy your needs of thirst. The standard beverages were available, but by far the most attractive out of these options was the Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Tinted blue as it filled the cup, it was already apparent that this was not just any Mountain Dew, or any drink for that matter. To test my curiosity, I took a sip; and it was as if I was sent to a remote Caribbean beach, surrounded by clear blue waters and lush ocean breezes. Yes, this drink was magical, and not to be compared to even the finest of wines. Our food was out of the kitchen in an impressive time, and it only makes me wonder how the staff could be so fast, but I guess that it only the magic of this place. A fragrance of freshness and warmth wafted out of the tray full of Mexican delicacies as we sat down to begin this meal. The Mexican Pizza was first to be tasted, and this dish did not fail to impress. It was a lovely marriage between an Italian classic and Mexican flavor, topped with a rich pizza sauce and ripe tomatoes you would believe came straight out of Tuscany. The burrito was hearty and wonderful; and the regular taco was, as expected, delicious…but the Cool Ranch taco was in a league of its own. Out of my experience in Mexican cuisine, I just had to say to myself, it doesn’t get more authentic than this. Saige agreed. This was culinary artistry put into work: a masterpiece, inspired by a simple chip. Bravo, chefs at Taco Bell. Bravo. It was a bittersweet moment as the meal came down to its final course: dessert. The churro, warm and radiating with the sweet scent of cinnamon sugar, was truly delightful. It was as if it came straight out of a Mexican bakery, with wholesome, homemade qualities. All in all, this was one of the classiest dining experiences I had ever had. The atmosphere was incredible, the service was mystically fast, and the flavors were unforgettable. Surely, if you are ever in need of quality food with exceptional ingredients and culture, you will be beyond satisfied at Taco Bell. I grant this restaurant six out of five stars: it was that amazing.
Dear Veebee, I was just sitting here in English and was wondering…..who let the dogs out? Sincerely, Still Confused Dear Still Confused, Michael Vick. Duh. Sincerely, VeeBee<3 Bonjour VeeBee, Je suis un nouvel étudiant dans notre école et je ne sais pas comment lire une pendule américaine. Quelle heure est-il? Sincèrement, Le français frustré
Dear VeeBee, I’ve looked all over, but I still can’t find him. I’m crushing on him pretty hard but I don’t know where he went. I love when he wears his matching shirt and hat; It really brings out his eyes. All I really want to know is…Where is Waldo? Sincerely, Love is Blind Dear Love is Blind, I saw him in the hall the other day and snapped a quick pic! Here you go! No more worries! Sincerely, VeeBee<3
Dear VeeBee, Why is the school's sweet and sour chicken lunch so delicious? I've eaten at every Chinese place in Findlay and have never found anything as good as our sweet and sour chicken. What makes it so yummy? Sincerely, Craving Cafeteria Food Dear Craving Cafeteria Food, As you've probably noticed from being a buyer of the school's government provided lunch, Van Buren only receives the highest quality of food to serve to its students. The particular dish you are asking about is one of the school's finest entrees that seems to be adored by the majority of VB students. The sweet and sour chicken lunch includes freshly-cut white chicken meat served over rice cooked to perfection. All of these ingredients are imported from top-notch grocery stores in our area. Although the lunch ladies would not reveal the secret behind their special sweet and sour sauce, they assured that the meal is made with 100% tender loving care.
Dear “Le français frustré,” I have no clue what you just said. Learn to speak English. Welcome to America.
Sincerely, Veebee <3
Sincerely, VeeBee<3 Courtesy of the Yearbook Staff (fair use)
Vol. 1 Issue 10.5 April 3, 2013 5
SENIOR CITIZEN SPOTLIGHTS Mrs. Rhonda Nye Alli Arthur Many, many, many, many, many, many, many years ago, Mrs. Rhonda Nye could be found on the sidewalk in the sun, sketching with her sidewalk chalk. Now, you can find her drawing or painting in the art room, or out on the course leading her team in the elderly leisure activity of golf. Mrs. Nye has been teaching art at this school for so long that she’s even been here since Mr. Heitkamp was a student! As if she has any more years left in her, Mrs. Nye plans on opening her own art studio in retirement. She wants to make more of her own personal art, as well as give small group lessons to both kids and adults. Who says 84 is too old to explore? Mrs. Nye also plans on travelling after retirement. She better hurry, because her time is running out!
What is your favorite piece of art that you have made? A painting of Jesus I made that I gave to my husband as a wedding gift. What is your favorite memory from all these years at VB? One year my power went out, and I couldn’t figure out my garage door opener, and I had to get on the school bus to school with my kindergartener (her son, Drew). The kids were all silent. If you had to choose one, would you choose art or golf? Boy, that’s tough...but I have to say art. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Cinderella, for sure! What is your favorite golf club? My 7 iron. If you mean a brand, Lady Hagan. My golf girls will laugh at that because it’s so generic! What is your favorite crayon color? (After rummaging through a pack of crayons, she pulled out a violet-looking color.) This one! Purple Mountain Majesty. If you could be a movie star (boy or girl), who would you be? Johnny Depp!
Mr. Jack Frost Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, a young Jack Frost was riding his tricycle up the lane with his best friend Tom, imagining, as children do, that he was an adult on his way to work. Now fifty-three, Mr. Frost has gone to work for thirty years as an eighth grade science teacher, regretfully not on three wheels like his childhood vision and unfortunately not in a 1977 Chevy Camaro Z28 (his dream car). After sixteen years at Van Buren and a recent job opportunity at The Right Thing, where he has worked for eight years, Mr. Frost has decided to retire as a teacher, effective
Madi Endicott immediately. With his creaking, rheumatic bones and deteriorating mental sanity that tends to come with old age, the poor fellow just couldn't keep up with the young, exciting energy of his eighth grade students. One thing Mr. Frost thought he would never do when he got old was constantly monitor a 401K (juniors should know what that is from that wonderful and exciting financial class). However, due to his hard work and financial strategy that only a man of his age could have enough free time and strange interest in to conduct, he is taking the job as a candidate care specialist at The Right Thing and leaving VB and its loud kids who daily prove Boyle's Law true as they cause his blood pressure to increase and his hearing aid volume to decrease. Although Mr. Frost has accomplished a lot in his lifetime, he said “there is still potential for me, yet.” He also said that, despite his age, he will always be that ornery guy who needs to grow up. Favorite leisure activity: Watching Live From Daryl’s House on VH1
What was your favorite grade in high school? Senior year was the best because I was old enough to appreciate my accomplishments and the classes became more relevant because my future was around the corner. But I learned to live in the moment and savor all the fun events like prom and my athletics and just all the perks of senior year. What is something you miss from when you were a teenager? I miss playing baseball. My senior year I played shortstop on Van Buren's baseball team when we won the first BVC championship ever in baseball history for VB. Now I would have to play in a geriatric league. What keeps you young? My enthusiasm for a variety of things that I presently enjoy or have not experienced yet. What is the weirdest thing you do? I do a lot of weird things. I talk backwards to my kids, like I mix the letters up. I do the poor timing dance that everybody remembers. My wife hated it when I taught my kids their ABC's like Mushmouth from Fat Albert. And it's all for my amusement. What's amusing to me makes other people shake their heads.
“Though she be but little, she is fierce!” Jessica Gilts
If you haven’t seen her in the halls, it’s no surprise. Standing at a whopping 5’1”, Diana Inbody is in the top three when it comes to English teachers at Van Buren. Even though this is only her second year, she tries to climb the ladder to reign supreme. Mrs. Inbody grew up in the big town of Arlington, OH and wasn’t always that big on sports. She spent most of her time in the window seat of her bedroom writing poetry inspired by Shel Silverstein. She knew that she wanted to be an English teacher after winning her second grade spelling bee. “I had to spell dog,” states Mrs. Inbody, “I knew ever since then that I had a passion for spelling!” It wasn’t until the fourth grade that Mrs. Inbody knew what she really wanted though - Nick. He was in all of her classes and she slowly fell in love with him. Little did she know, one day she would be standing at the
altar getting ready to marry that boy. Of course she was standing on a step ladder though, since he pretty much towered over her. When asked what her biggest fear was, Mrs. Inbody responded simply - “Freshmen. They are all taller than me and it’s hard to hold a serious conversation!” says Mrs. Inbody. Her second biggest fear though she said was running. She had always been afraid of tripping, like at her track meet during her sophomore year of high school in front of hundreds of people. Mrs. Inbody has always been known to conquer her fears though. She plans to participate in a marathon this coming May, so be sure to wish her support. Also, if you wish to support the Diana R. Inbody Fund, please send money directly to Room 213. The fund supports teachers; we all know that they do not make much. Dollar amounts under twenty are not accepted.
-William Shakespeare
6 Vol. 1 Issue 10.5 April 3, 2013
SPORTS Training Like a Champion Laura Endicott
Are you often times punched in the face and called a bench warmer? Do you despise the fact the JV team has labeled you as a disgrace? Are elementary kids constantly showing you up in every single athletic event known to man? Well my sweet ray of frail sunshine, say good bye to the pathetic days of shame and hello to glory. Below is a list given by Olympic champions themselves on how to maximize your work out to receive the most effective results ensuring game time at least once! Drink Water Occasionally The chemical Courtesy of gettyimage.com (fair use) compound of dihydrogen monoxide has been approved by some of the cleverest scientists worldwide as a highly effective solution involving the most sophisticated elements out there. The oxygen compliments the two hydrogen beautifully, producing a substance that will leave your body craving it, until made up of 70% of its righteous essence. Eating Healthy Helps Fast food, also known as mixtures of the Devil, is death wrapped in foil shoved into a to go bag made of bad intentions carried by an idiot who treats their body like worthless scum! OH YOU WANT SOME TACO BELL HUH? HOW ABOUT YOU JUST EAT A WASP NEST AND JUMP IN A VOLCANO INSTEAD BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE A SICK DEATH WISH. If you are working out to improve your body and then shove your face with a grease filled pathetic excuse of a substance, you are cancelling out all good intentions completely, and you owe your body a sincere apology. Breathing Can Be Beneficial After days of experiments and hours of testing, it has been proven that when performing highly active work outs, breathing can not only keep one’s body conscious during extreme intensity, but will actually reduce the risk of heart failure by 100%. It’s been called the “secret weapon” to Olympic athletes and is known to be used by 98% of all qualifiers. Stretch Sometimes Close your eyes and imagine with me. Picture your delicate body as a precious Twizzler. If that Twizzler is frozen and twisted in even the slightest way, the results will be shattering. Literally, the Twizzler will shatter into 853 tiny pieces and leave a huge mess on your kitchen floor that your mother will yell at you for. Now if that Twizzler is heated up and twisted, the results will reveal that the Twizzler bends with beautiful ease and the grace of a gazelle. The lesson to get out of this: Uh, we actually don’t know? We’re like 63% sure it had something to tie into stretching though. Practice Periodically You know when you cram for a math test or shove as much information as physically possible into your brain a day before the ACT and the results always reach an impressive level of well-earned mediocre? It’s the same for sports! You can go from the worst person on the team to being completely kind of average if you put in about 7 minutes and 86 seconds of work in off the field!
Tag: Track Style Madi Endicott
Quiddich, Quaffles and Chasers Michelle Flanagan
Emotions, along with everything else, were flying high at the Quidditch game on Monday, April 1. It took close to half the game for the teams to really get warmed up, but when they did, madness ensued. Coach Shoup, who was refereeing, struggled to keep up with the game as countless fouls were committed in the course of ten minutes. Slytherin consistently knocked Quaffles through Gryffindor's goals, easing past Keeper JJ Mowrey, racking up points, and beating down the path to victory. The two Seekers stayed high above the game, keeping out of the way of the Beaters, exclaiming when gold glinted past their eyes. Gryffindor Seeker Brandi Hoyng avoided a Bludger to the broom only by flying straight into her opponent, Drew Patterson. Keeping his eyes on the prize, Patterson shot around the stadium, under the stands, and back up through the crowd, keeping a broomslength in front of Hoyng. Stretching far out onto his broom, the fans could see his fingertips brush past the wings of the Snitch, but he then fell to the ground, hit in the side by a Bludger, courtesy of Gryffindor Beater Bri Lasley. Lasley took a moment to celebrate with teammate Jacob Badertscher before returning to their goals at the last minute, defending the two point lead that Gryffindor held onto so tightly. Slytherin Chasers Brennon Swain and Alexa Piccirillo scored a combined thirteen points between them in five minutes, smiling as they were now in the lead. But, of course, Quidditch is not a sport that can be planned.
Courtesy of harrypotter.wikia.com (fair use)
Just when Gryffindor was losing hope, Hoyng yelled from above the stadium while rushing down, staring intently at something five feet in front of her. The crowd held their breath, knowing that the only thing that gives a Seeker that look is the Snitch. Patterson noted this also, but a few seconds too late. The few times he tried to pass Hoyng, she rammed into him, forcing him back while she sped ahead. After an intense pursuit, Hoyng closed her outstretched hand into a fist, somersaulted off of the broom, and skidded into the ground that was, luckily, only a few feet below. She unfurled her hand and there it was; the Snitch, its wings beating and gold casing brilliant in the sun. The Gryffindor team shouted with joy, Slytherin players shook their heads and began blaming each other, Shoup blew the whistle, and the game was concluded. Be sure to attend the next game, on Wednesday April 3 at 2 p.m., between Slytherin and Ravenclaw.
When Zack Werlhe announced that we were going to play tag for warm-up on my second day of optional track conditioning, I imagined a simple child game full of laughter and silliness. I thought wrong. “Not it!” everyone chirped, until there was one person remaining. Everybody Courtesy of myhungergames.com (fair use) fled in a matter of seconds, branching in various directions to different parts of the school. I followed a few of my friends who were familiar with the game and seemed to have a strategy. Still naïve and unaware of how intense this game was, I didn't quite understand why they were walking around like we were in the Hunger Games. I soon found that the two were very similar. After running through nearly all the hallways in the school, visiting the old middle school section where my feet had not been for quite a while and avoiding near death encounters, my friends and I had been split up and I was wandering near the library with one of the new freshmen. We turned the corner and there she was. No one had to tell me she was it, I could tell by the hungry look in her eyes. My companion and I stopped dead in our tracks. I felt his fear, as great and instantaneous as mine. Together it resonated in the small hallway and I knew she felt it, too; it fed her avidity to tag us. We stared each other down for a moment; the predator, her fingers twitching greedily at her side, body coiled, ready to attack, and head cocked sideways. We were the prey, cornered and frightened, saying our final prayers as our lives flashed before our eyes in this moment so close to our certain death. So it has come to this, I thought, I've lived a good li– “Ahh!” My thoughts were interrupted by the abrupt scream of my comrade, and my instant reaction was to run. I moved my feet as fast as the freshly polished floor would allow and out of the corner of my eye I saw a flurry of blond charging toward us. My heart was pounding a mile a minute. I could focus on nothing but my desire to flee, to escape the monstrous beast that was pursuing me—us. That's right; someone else was with me...running beside me...in front of me. Suddenly the phrase “I don't have to be faster than the bear, I just have to be faster than you” became full reality. Another boost of adrenaline pushed me forward and I inched ahead of him just as the attacker's outstretched hand reached us. I knew that there was no way she could have gotten me when he was behind me, so I smiled, thinking I was on my way to sure freedom. But then I felt a tap on my waist. What?! I stopped. “Wait, am I it?” I asked. “I thought you got him.” “I did,” she answered, “and then he tapped you.” She ran back around the corner before I could further interrogate. I looked at the freshman who was seconds ago a loyal ally. I was shocked and betrayed, but I had to admit the kid was smart. He was untrustworthy, obviously, but a quick thinker. So this is how it works, I thought. “Sorry,” he shrugged, and took off in the other direction. As I stood there alone in the hallway, the real magnitude of the game finally sunk in. This was not some childish play time activity, this was war.