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And now for the hangover

27 July 2010

Volume 69: Number 7 021 650 3543

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What’s next South Africa?

In This Issue Opinions Return of the xenophobes

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Features

World spread

Cup

photo

Page 8 Viva vuvu - A fan blows his vuvuzela in Long Street after Siphiwe Tsabalala scores the first goal of the World Cup. Photo by Kelly Berold

Xenophobia: Fact or fiction? Natasha Nel Two years after the initial wave of xenophobic attacks that left 62 dead and 150 000 displaced, South Africa now seems to be in danger of repeating history. A number of recent violent activities have been linked to xenophobia, including the murder of a Somali tuck shop owner and a man from Ghana. Public opinion on the issue is divided, however, with politicians and police strongly denying a xenophobic motive behind these deaths. On the night of the World Cup final, foreign-owned spaza shops in Cape Town were looted and burned. President Jacob Zuma issued a response stating that although “there had been rumours”, he was not certain these were actual threats. “People should not fear,” he said. On 12 July, Ministers for Police and Defense came to Cape Town to investigate the issue after Zimbabwean migrant workers allegedly fled the city because of threats they had received. Police

the soccer, the environment that gave rise to xenophobia in 2008 is “largely unchanged”. “Poverty, unemployment, and incomes indicators have not shifted significantly since 2008, while high levels of crime and violence are an everyday reality in many poor communities,” said spokesperson Catherine Schulze.

All over again? – Recent outbreaks of violence against African immigrants suggest that a new wave of xenophobia may be on its way. Minister Nathi Mthethwa decided to deny the existence of xenophobic motives, calling it a “dangerous rumour”. Mthethwa further stated that the attacks that had occurred were merely “criminality disguised as xenophobia”. This theory was backed by Police Commissioner Bheki Cele, who

vowed to keep crime levels as low as they were during the World Cup. Helen Zille countered this, saying, “I don’t think we can dismiss xenophobia as purely the work of criminal elements.” Soon after the World Cup, the South African Institute for Race Relations warned that despite

The Department of Justice has responded to the rumours by preparing a new bill that makes South African Law tougher on hate crimes – like xenophobia. The Consortium for refugees and Migrants in South Africa (Cormsa) has welcomed the initiative. “We are scared. I feel okay for now, we are not leaving yet, but I am worried,” says 37-year-old Elizabeth, a Zimbabwean mother of one who stays in Cape Town. “I don’t think they are just rumours. We have to admit it is happening. It is how South Africa deals with it that matters.”

Varsity, the official student newspaper since 1942, is committed to the principles of equality and democracy.

Beckham and his face an Anton Taylor story

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2 UCT’s ‘Respect Copyright’ campaign picks up speed

News News in small packages Cape Town Transport Upgrades

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Selebi Found Guilty Former Police Chief Jackie Selebi was found guilty of corruption in the South Gauteng High Court on Friday 2 July. On a secondary charge of defeating the ends of justice, Selebi was found not guilty. Sentencing began last week.

Cape Town’s mayoral committee member for transport, Elizabeth Thompson, has announced plans to revamp the inner city’s transport system. Influenced by the success of the Soccer World Cup “loop” system, Thompson aims to recreate a more suitable and affordable version. “[The World Cup] was a good lesson for the city, and has given the community a taste of things to come,” said Thompson. The scores of Capetonians trekking along the fan walk for games at Greenpoint Stadium is evidence that the city is safe and pedestrian-friendly, and that walking is a viable form of inner-city transport.

Higher Education Minister, Nzimandem, “Disappoints” SASCO Body Discovered at V&A Fan Fest Bomb Charge Waterfront Dropped SASCO President Mbulelo Mandlana has expressed frustration towards Higher Education Minister Blade Nzimande. This follows the Minister’s 15-day stay at The Mount Nelson Hotel, estimated to have cost taxpayers R40 000. A spokesperson for the Department of Higher Education denied that the amount was excessive.

The body of a man was found floating in the harbour at the V&A Waterfront on 19 July. According to police Spokesperson November Philander, the man was dressed in fishing gear – “boots and all”. His face was eaten away. An investigation has been opened to determine whether there was any foul play.

The state has withdrawn all charges against 32-yearold Sipho Mshweshwe after he allegedly made a bomb threat at Cape Town’s FIFA Fan Fest. Mshweshwe apparently refeused to be searched upon entry, and told security guards he had a bomb. The case was dropped following several court appearances.


3

News

SA Researchers involved in HIV/AIDS breakthrough Olivia Walton

Researchers at the Centre for the Aids Programme Research in South Africa (CAPRISA) at the University of KwaZulu-Natal have produced a vaginal gel that could significantly reduce the risk of women contracting HIV. Announced at the 18th International AIDS Conference in Vienna last Tuesday, the gel could cause a fundamental change in the battle against HIV/AIDS. The gel has been developed with the aim of increasing the ability of women at risk of infection to protect themselves. Applied before and after sex, the gel is a microbicide containing 1% tenofovir, an anti-retroviral drug currently widely in use as an HIV

treatment. A study conducted by the CAPRISA researchers has so far demonstrated a 39% decrease in the number of infections in women using the gel. A group of 889 urban and rural women between the ages of 18 and 40, sexually active, HIV-negative but considered at risk of infection, were selected for the study. Half were given the gel containing tenofovir and half were given an inactive placebo. In the group given the active gel, the number of women becoming infected with HIV was halved after one year. After two and a half years, the overall decrease in infections was 39%. The researchers noted that in women who stuck to the instructions consistently, there was

a 54% decrease in infections. The gel has been hailed as a breakthrough in the battle against the HIV/AIDS pandemic. Currently, of the 33.4 million people infected with HIV/AIDS, 22.4 million live in sub-Saharan Africa. Eastern Europe has the fastest growing AIDS epidemic, and global AIDS funding is not increasing to meet the rising global need. Once the gel has been put through the third and final phase of testing, if the results remain consistent the licensing process will begin. The World Health Organisation (WHO) has recognised the potential the gel has for reducing HIV infections and has agreed to help with distribution as soon as the drug is licensed.

Countries “with the greatest need” have been urged by Anthony Fauci of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease to consider rolling out the gel before it is licensed. South African Health Minister Aaron Motsoaledi announced the SA government’s interest in the gel at the conference, stating that the South African government would consider distributing it before it is fully licensed. Women’s empowerment has been lauded as one of the benefits of the microbicide. As it has so far shown no side effects and can be used by women who know they are at risk but are unable to protect themselves – such as in cases where one or both partners

refuses to use condoms – it has the potential to provide women with a means of reducing their risk of which they fully control. Michel Sidibe, executive director of UNAids, has called the gel “a women-initiated and -controlled HIV prevention option”. This is of considerable importance given that 60% of new infections are women. Also prominent at the conference was the conflict between politics and science. Researchers and activists argued that science has provided politicians with the means of turning HIV/AIDS into a manageable condition. So far this has only been achieved in firstworld countries.

UCT to have a Ridelink parking lot Cayleigh Bright With each new term at UCT comes the old problem of the shortage of parking on campus. This semester, however, UCT and the Green Campus Initiative’s Ridelink project hope to provide at least a partial solution to the problem, rewarding those who carpool with their own parking lot. Parking lot P4 will be allocated to cars carrying three or more passengers, in line with Ridelink’s attempt to encourage

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students to share lifts for the sake of the environment, space on campus, and their own fuel costs. By logging on to the Ridelink site, students and staff can find others in their area who are looking to share lifts, and set up a plan to carpool together. Ridelink organiser Kimon de Greef has pointed to the success of similar initiatives in Europe and around the world, and hopes that extra parking space will provide an additional incentive to students to get involved.

The head of the SRC’S Health and Safety portfolio, Michell Mpike, praised the university and Ridelink’s actions. Mpike said that UCT “has put its resources behind this initiative, and I hope that the Ridelink-specific parking will encourage more students to carpool”. The Ridelink initiative has experienced numerous shortcomings in the past. Now, following a streamlining process

and with the support of UCT, it seems that it’s all green lights from here. An official Ridelink launch will take place in September, to coincide with GCI’s Green Week. While there’s certainly still a long way to go before the UCT parking problem is solved entirely, this may indicate a promising willingness by UCT to get involved in innovative solutions to a problem that the University itself has done little to address.

and stand a chance to WIN one of four SONY BRAVIA 32” LCD televisions Competition ends 31 August 2010

Petrol Suicide – Ridelink finally launches its initiative for carpooling students.


4

Editorial

VARSITY NEWSPAPER BLOGS Reunions...or something like that Reader discretion advised: anything goes at the VARSITY Newspaper blogs...

Reasonable Doubt

The Ides of November

Throughout his stay at the White House, President Obama has faced staunch opposition from the Republicans who have voted against most of the President’s big legislative issues such as Healthcare and Financial Reform. Obama has relied heavily on his majority to pass bills and has sometimes had to fight members of his own party to get legislation passed, thus holding on to his party’s majority is an imperative though seemingly impossible task. The Gulf Oil Spill has been used by Republicans to portray Obama as a weak leader and his inarticulate Oval Office speech addressing the issue further emphasized that point. Away from the US, Obama’s foreign policy has been widely criticized for being ineffective. He came into office promising to move away from the policies of former President George W Bush who divided the world into friends and enemies in a simplistic manner. Despite Obama’s attempts, Iran and North Korea remain major problems with their continued recalcitrant attitudes with regard to their respective nuclear programs.

Tatenda Goredema is the Deputy Editor of VARSITY newspaper.

Read more at www.reasdoubt.blogspot.com

Paris is burning - and itchy too!

Trust & Believe

This is the World Cup edition, plain and simple. In fact, I dare you to go through each page and see how many times you find the words “World Cup”. (The first person to email us with the correct number will receive the next edition of Varsity absolutely free!) But with all this talk about soccer, transport, how well the country did, what a rousing success it was, how much the tournament unified us, how much of a legacy the World Cup (there it is again!) will leave for the nation, how much it has done to change the perception of both our country and the continent at large, no one seems to be talking about our biggest achievement – the arrest of one Paris Hilton. KE NAKO! (One wonders why she was allowed into the country in the first place without some sort of National Herpes Medication Distribution programme preceding her arrival – we must protect ourselves, after all.) I’m no celebutant-hater, (a la MTV, I’m currently planning My Super Sweet 20-something birthday party for next year), but stupid is only cute for so long.

Nkosiyati Khumalo is the Copy Editor of VARSITY newspaper.

Read more at www.trustbelieve.blogspot.com

newsgathering next newsgathering Thursday, 29 July 2010, Meridian, LS2D

2010 collective

editor Rémy Ngamije deputy editor Tatenda Goredema copy editor Nkosiyati Khumalo sub-editors Cayleigh Bright, Nomvelo Makhunga, Candice Newton, Calvin van der Riet dtp editor Danni Liang finance team Tina Swigelaar & Odwa Sihlobo images editor Simone Millward photographers Nico Gous, Andrecia Ramnath, Zakareeya Pandey, Lorna Rae Daniels news Olivia Walton & Natasha Nel opinions Sarah Jackson & Martin Mendelsohn features Nyasha Kadandara & Tiffany Mugo sport Dominic Verwey & Edward Sellier human resources Tariro Nyamakura & Aleeshah Sayyideena advertising Odwa Sihlobo marketing team John-Ross Hugo, Andrew Ehmke & Mathabatha Sexwale IT manager Irfaan M Imamdin

The start of the new term is kind of like a psychotic ex-girlfriend or boyfriend you never want to meet again. The reason for not wanting to meet them differs from person to person, but in this scenario, we shall stick to the good old reasoning, “it ended on bad terms”. As usual, this means it was your fault. You can dodge and hide from them under restaurant tables and elsewhere, but sooner or later they find you. A shadow looms over you and before you know it, you find yourself on Jammie stairs looking at each other face to face, your counterpart’s face contorting with rage that was not sated since the last time they threw Mother’s best china at you. Already I can sense quite a few readers silently nodding their heads at their own personal recollections – the awkwardness, the obscenities that were flung about by the other party, the feeling of insignificance that creeps over you as all of your little bedroom secrets are laid bare for the whole world to hear. It sucks when things end on bad terms. For you that is. That is what the New Term feels like at the moment - I really did do everything in my power to avoid it, but it found me as it did many others. For two months I have been living in a fantasy world where all academic commitments have been stalled and put on the backburner, forgotten and relegated to corners of my cupboards that have a high cobweb count - places where things go to be “stored”permanently. Like all tormenting encounters with that person from your past, you have one of three options you can use to deal with it. The first option is that you can try and be slick about it, placating them with empty promises of working out issues later. This option is useless, because we all know you are not going to work it out. You are going to fly off at the first chance you get without another word – not even a polite but awkward SMS. The second option is equally as useless; you can “man-up” so to speak and tell them to go [fill in the blank]. I personally, would not go for the second option – it leaves you open to counterattacks such as the caustic “that’s what you should have been doing in the bedroom anyway!” No, best to avoid that option. The third option is simpler and infinitely more productive in the long term than all other alternatives; listen, hear them out, learn about what you did wrong – because you did do something wrong – and make a resolution to change. For once, I am hoping that I, and many others, will be smart and go with the third option. The last semester did not end well for many of us. There were exams that had their way with us, assignments that did unconstitutional things to sensitive parts and other academic nightmares that could fill a small novel. Added to that was the stress of queueing in FNB lines longer than change of curriculum lines - they ended in complete and utter dissatisfaction. However the term ended for you, I hope that this semester is kinder to you and that you are more cruel to it. It will be short but rigorous, and one way to avoid disapointment this term will be to stick to my personal adage, “Don’t [there’s that blank again] it up.” The second term, unlike the first, is full of political ambitions and if the last one is anything to go by, I am sure that we are in for one hell of a bumpy ride. SRC elections are around the corner so there is no doubt that hopefuls will be doing the whoring thing, ready to do anything for a vote. Make sure they work hard for that. More importantly though, the SRC Report Card will be out in two editions’ time - it will be interesting to review what our democratically elected comrades on the seventh floor have been up to. We call it a report card because the word “audit” cannot be used in some social circles... Ambitions come out at this time of year and student societies will be changing leadership all around. Varsity is no exception. Like all good societies in UCT, we are shuffling as well - but unlike more democractic establishments on the campus, you actually do need a CV to apply. (Pause for sly laugh). Predictably, and positively so, this edition is full of World Cup articles. Though the event has come and gone, the issues that it brought to South Africa and the ones that have lingered still need to be addressed. It comes as no surprise then that students at Africa’s finest university would put pen to paper and voice their thoughts and concerns about the world’s most popular sporting event. From news to sports, the event has generated content that deserves a look over. See what the 2010 World Cup from a student perspective. Here’s to a good term, politics, academics and all the other insuferable things in between. Rémy Ngamije

Erratum In Edition 6, VARSITY incorrectly published an article about UCT Football and its administration. The newspaper sincerely apologises for any offence caused by the article.

external contributors Roy Mathieu Borole, Carrie Timlin, Rachel Mazower, Thato Mabudusha, Paul Herman

A follow-up article fully investigating the issue will follow in Edition 8.

Contact details

staff writers Tonbara Ekiyor, Calvin Scholtz, Anton Taylor, Stephanie Venter, Lyndall Thwaits, Alexander Child, Tarryn Steenekamp, Berndt Hannweg, Aimee Dyamond

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5

Opinions

Gosia Podgorska

The 2010 FIFA World Cup: The build up took five years; the event took one month. While there may have been various shadows of doubt cast upon our country, one of the largest obstacles to overcome was crime. Despite the scepticism, our mzansi showed the world that we could control crime, fo sho. Yet, with the departure of the monthlong ke nako feeling, it’s time to turn our paint-chipped faces to reality. Is it time to fear again? Here’s the reality: For the FIFA World Cup, South Africa fought crime, and South Africa won. The tourists were happy, we were happy, and in general, our country felt uplifted for 30 days. The crime statistics improved slowly, although of course there were still several incidents where international visitors got in crime’s way– including a very polite encounter where a burglar, while removing a wallet from his victim’s pocket, was brazen enough to ask whether the man was enjoying the soccer. Only in South Africa, right? Not really. During any major tourist-driven event, there will forever be opportunists searching for weaknesses outside any security cornucopia like a moth to a flame. In our South African context, crime prevention has always been an issue. Yet, thanks to a major increase in police visibility, fast armed responses and all-around support from the government (including a budget of R1.3

Feel it, it’s gone… Image courtesy of www.flickr.com

Fear It – is it back?

On the look out - Questions still fly about how safe SA will be now that the World Cup is over. billion on new surveillance equipment, vehicles, helicopters and body armour, and at least 41 000 specially deployed officers), the 2010 FIFA World Cup was a success in more ways than one. Personally, I have never felt safer in this country than during the World Cup. After night-matches, I (safety-paranoid as I am) found myself comfortably strolling down in which I would normally have my pepper spray armed and at the ready. My metronome-like eyes even took a rest. Yet, on 11 July, when the final whistle was blown in Spain’s favour, I found myself thinking – would I walk down those same streets tomorrow? Oh, hell no. In a recent SAPA press release, Minister of Police Nathi Mthethwa promised to “continue fighting crime after the Cup, and safeguard citizens against crime”. I really, truly do hope so. The police and

government have now proved to the world that they can lessen crime in a danger-ridden country. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they can prove the same to us, the locals. While Mthethwa repeatedly said that visitors felt safe during the tournament, it’s the locals left behind that need to feel that now too. Mthethwa said that the police officers have not been withdrawn from host cities, and that the police intend on increasing the number of police to 200 000 by 2011/12. I wish that other cities, besides the host ones, would also receive the same sort of attention. For now, I won’t be walking down those same streets post-match anytime soon. I am not naïve in thinking that there will be a day when our country will be crime-free, but I will keep my faith that one day, I’ll feel safe enough to throw my pepper-spray in the bin and feel as safe as I did this past June.

Judith February

In the first of a new initiative to expand your knowledge of a range of different career options, we feature Judith February [(BA (Law), LLB, LLM (Company Law)], a UCT graduate and the Head of Political Information and Monitoring Service at the Institute for Democracy in South Africa (IDASA). Judith speaks about her career outside of the ‘mainstream’ legal sector. After graduating with my Masters, I saw that IDASA, a nongovernmental organisation, was looking for someone with a legal background, to make submissions to parliament, and to do research on certain pieces of legislation. At the interview, they kept saying ‘you will have to go to Parliament.’ I kept saying that I didn’t know anything about Parliament, but I can learn. After being told, ‘Start on Monday and you will figure it out,’ I was somewhat stressed, but it turned

Carrie Timlin I’m not a sports fan or a patriot. This is why when I was wrapped in a Bafana Bafana scarf, seated in front of the television and saw Tshabalala score the first goal of the World Cup, I was surprised to find myself filled with a sense of great pride. I hold this feeling directly responsible for what happened next. Suddenly I was proudly South African in the way that the television propaganda would have been proud of. In my defense, I had a right to be. Although I admit that South Africa is a beautiful country, we have our problems and I believe that blind patriotism is ignorant. I am a realist, and realistically speaking, we pulled off a fantastic world cup. Bafana Bafana may have failed to make it through the group stages, but their sportsmanship was in high esteem and like many of their African counterparts, they played the game with their pride intact as opposed to rolling around on the field like Uruguay’s Suarez, who based on the skill set shown would be better suited to a career as a lawn ornament. We also proved to be the better team in our final game against France where not only did we beat the much higher-ranked team, we also sent them home having to apologise to South Africa for bad sportsmanship. As I am already biased towards France due to the hand ball that

denied Ireland entry to the World cup, Bafana provided a sweet sense of revenge on all levels. The most prominent aspect of the World Cup was the unity we felt as a country. For once cynicism took a back seat and there seemed to be a halt on some of the ridiculous politics that usually plague the news. While I have my suspicions that Julius Malema was strategically “stuck” in a broom closet in Parliament for the duration of the Cup, whatever the reason it provided a nice break. As for the aftermath: I will never be a soccer fan and would like to see those glorified supermodels survive five minutes in a rugby game. As for patriotism, I am on the fence and have made a point of being less cynical and giving our country a little more credit. Mostly I’m hoping that the world has seen how civilized and established South Africa is and that I will never again have to hear another foreign exchange student announce loudly, “Oh My God! I’ve been in Africa for, like, three weeks already and I still haven’t seen a lion! I heard they were, like, in the streets!” True story.

“The most prominent aspect of the World Cup was the unity we felt as a country.”

Careers calender out to be the best career change funding. I ever made. • We advocate for strong I was hired to monitor legislation accountable government and and make submissions to strong, representative institutions Parliament. I also became where necessary, use the law very interested in the workings to try to bring about change in of Parliament, as well as the various spheres of government. functioning of democratic institutions. Through my work, I think the law enables one to I am involved in public interest put forward cogent argument litigation (at times when IDASA and assists in the understanding has litigated), advocacy and of the Constitution and the way political analysis as well as it is meant to operate – one also focussing on the state of our attempts to persuade people of democratic institutions and one’s point of view. These are all whether they are fulfilling their useful in the area of work I do – Constitutional mandates. For as well as of course the analytical example: skills a law degree provides. • IDASA acted as a ‘friend of the court’ when the Treatment Action Campaign called for government to provide anti-retroviral drugs to pregnant women suffering from HIV/AIDS. Although we lost the case on floor crossing, we continued with substantial lobbying, and this legislation was eventually scrapped. • We made submissions on the Access to Information Law, and started a campaign to advocate for the regulation of private funding for political parties. • We made a submission to the Justice committee, on the Prevention of Corruption Act, asking that political parties should disclose their sources of

Ultimately, a society is about how we use our education when we leave university, how we have learnt to transform society. I believe that lawyers, and all the professions should be at the vanguard of change, creating a society that is transformed, and more equal. I would encourage you to think about the various ways in which you can use your law degree to shape our democracy, whether one uses one’s skills in either the private or public sector. *Judith February participated as a speaker during our series of Career Awareness Talks in 2010. Her talk, ‘What I did with my Law degree,’ can be viewed in the Career Information Centre.

Careers Education (Hoerikwaggo, 13h00 – 14h00) 27 July: Rethinking your Degree in Rm3C 28 July: CV Development in LT2 29 July: Preparing for Interviews in LT2 4 August: Cover Letters & Application Forms in LT2 5 August: CV Development in LT2 Careers Fairs (Jameson Hall, 09h00 – 15h00) 2 August: General 3 August: Accountancy 18 August: General Graduate Recruitment Programme 28 July: Sasts Working Adventures, 13h00 in LS - 2B 29 July: L’Oreal South Africa, 13h00 in LS - 3A 29 July: Werksmans Incorporating Jan S. de Villiers, 13h00 in Kramer - LT3 4 August: Public Investment Corporation, 13h00 in LS - 3A 4 August: First National Bank, 17h00 in LS - 3A 5 August: The Foschini Group, 13h00 in LS - 3A 5 August: McKinsey & Co, 17h00 in LS - 3A Company Showcase 29 July: Deloitte, 11h00 - 15h00 in African Gallery

Hot opportunities Looking for a bursary/scholarship, vacation or graduate opportunity for 2010? Visit www.careers.uct.ac.za/careerportal Over 100 opportunities available online now.


6

Opinions

Mbeki - the forgotten man Tatenda Goredema retells and “recalls” the great President that was A FEW weeks ago an article appeared in the Sunday Times which reported on an alleged order given at the SABC by the head of News to ban any news items or interviews with the erstwhile president of the republic, Mr Thabo Mbeki. Since being “recalled” by the ruling party President Mbeki has largely been quiet and has virtually disappeared from public view, and his name has been skipped over by the current administration at auspicious occasions such as the State of the Nation as if he never existed. Whether the reports are true or not is debatable, but one cannot deny that there seems to be an attempt by the ruling party to wash away the remnants of Mbeki’s regime and his years in power. I find the omission of President Mbeki in speeches or communiqués that deal with his administration, whether deliberate or inadvertent, to be an unnecessary slight on a man who dedicated his life to the service of his country and the ruling party. There are those who are quick to point out his faults, such as his AIDS denialism and his refusal to fire underperforming cabinet members, but there can be no doubt that in his time as president he enjoyed some great successes.

“Despite all his faults, both real and imagined, President Mbeki was decisive...” President Mbeki made great strides in improving some of the socioeconomic problems facing the country, he fostered the idea of the African Renaissance, he brokered peace in troubled nations in the region, and he presided over a successful financial period in the life of the Republic and played a major role in placing the country on the world stage as a great example of a developing nation which followed democratic principles. He gave foreign investors confidence in investing their money in the country and tried to assist the development of the SADC region and he backed the growth of trade between developing nations with the India

Tiffany Mugo It’s the age-old story. Girl moves to live with father in a vampire-ridden area, girl falls for brooding creature of the night, girl then begins to fall for a werewolf who is locked in an epic battle against vampires, girl decides to marry vampire and become part of the undead. As one can see there is no place for a career in this epic love story as who is going to hire the undead?

OUT OF SIGHT - Mbeki has disappeared from the spotlight after he was recalled by the ANC. Brazil South Africa (IBSA) trade initiative. Despite his achievements he was mindful of the great socioeconomic problems facing the republic and their potential to heighten dissatisfaction with government by ordinary citizens. Upon taking office he stated, “The longer the situation of inequality and discontent with government delivery persisted, in spite of the gift of hope delivered to the people by democracy, the more entrenched will be the conviction that the concept of nation building is a mere mirage and that no basis exists, or will ever exist, to enable national reconciliation to take place.” He broached the subject of corruption across Africa and the need for the continent’s leadership to rid themselves of the negative tag of using state apparatus to gain personal wealth, stating “The time has come for us to call a halt to the seemingly socially approved deification of the acquisition of material wealth and the abuse of state power to impoverish the people and deny our continent’s possibility to achieve sustainable economic development.” Despite all his faults both real and imagined, President Mbeki was decisive and when he made a decision, whether correct or incorrect, he stuck by it and

defended it with conviction. His leadership reflected his belief that Africa should take second place to no-one and his presidency sought to enhance Africa’s image just as much as South Africa’s. His contribution to the betterment of the continent through the streamlined African Union and the New Economic Partnership for Africa’s Development will long be remembered when people speak of Mbeki’s legacy. He is one of the more intelligent men to grace a leadership position in Africa and his years of service to both Africa and South Africa should not be forgotten no matter who is in power. He encouraged the participation in government of all citizens and encouraged thinkers to contribute to policymaking with his periodic lekgotlas and various advisory councils. When President Mbeki resigned he said that people should not “turn triumphalist because the sun shines”, undoubtedly implicitly refering to people who had planned and executed his recall. At the time it seemed like sour grapes to some, but the current reported state of the Presidency may just be a clue to what Mbeki was talking about. The current President’s rhetoric has not been matched by action and as the months pass more scrutiny will be placed on the current leader to live up to post-World Cup promises.

UCT SRC ELECTIONS 2010 ONS I T A IN ! NOM RE OPEN A

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Twilight: Darkening a bright day for women empowerment

EVE BIK O BUILD

ING

The idea was pitched to me that this vampire series can be un-feminist and disempowering to women and I thought, really? It’s not just a really bad vampire series? I went to my friend who is obsessed to ask her opinion, and she begged to differ. Only the true aficionados have read further into the series and know that the main female character Bella becomes a force to be reckoned with, being blessed as a “newborn” (newlymade vampire) with some mind tricks that would make the Jedi concede defeat. Once she is turned into a vampire she is able to protect her mind from being read as well as providing a mental shield for those around her. She is also able to control her thirst for blood, which among vampires is considered a superpower and something to be lauded. But this potential takes three books to reach.

“Maybe I’m just a bitter crone sitting on my porch of womenempowerment, shouting obscenities at the loving woman who would give it all up for that special man.” The disempowerment of women is not something one can instantaneously pick up. However, to those who have a keen eye for such a things, the clamour would have reached a climax when Bella decided to

leave everything she has ever known behind (vampires cannot call their mothers for a chat and tips on child care) and follow the pale, surprisingly unattractive vampire to the Dark Side. This move can be said to mirror the lives led by women all over the world who pack up and leave everything, having nothing left for themselves except the “love of their life”. Bella would be leaving her friends, family, and any possible future she may have that included children or a career. Instead she is to be pulled head first into an existence that consists of moving from place to place so no one realizes you’re not aging, drinking the blood of animals and fighting Dakota Fanning and her evil minions who make up the Council (or the Senate, not sure). Everything that could be good in her life is stripped from her in her pursuit to become Edward’s wife. She is given a rather rousing speech by a blonde vampire that can be summed up as “becoming a vampire is the worst decision of your life(and death) – don’t do it”, to which Bella replies something along the lines of “I love him, he’s my everything”. Maybe I’m just a bitter crone sitting on my porch of women-empowerment shouting obscenities at the loving woman who would give it all up for that special man. But all I know is that there cannot be empowerment in having everything stripped from you in the pursuit of love. Bella’s path is a caricature of what happens to some women; the intensity of her situation being she will be robbed of everything including life itself. We no longer live in a world where you have to give everything up for that man in your life and Twilight just dragged us back about 60 years. He’s dead and you’re alive? Girls, move on – incompatibility comes in various ways. I am sure there is a lovely werewolf out there for you who can keep decent hours, refuses to wear a shirt (rightly so) and whose only flaw is he may shed on the carpet from time to time. My view is if he makes you give it ALL up, something about him may be rotten – and I don’t just mean his corpse.

Necrophilia vs bestiality - These are just some of the little-explored themes of Twilight.


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Opinions

Trivial Pursuit We’re not in Kansas anymore By Sarah Jackson prices of drinks have gone back to normal, it is time to return from the Emerald City and come home.

The World Cup was a momentous occasion. We were lambasted by the foreign press about how the event would almost certainly be ill-equipped and mismanaged. The stadiums would not be ready, the prices were too high and nothing but bloodbaths awaited the tourists who would inevitably flock to our shores. But, as with the first democratic elections in 1994, we proved the world wrong. For a month we were united, and we can be very proud by what we have achieved by hosting the first soccer World Cup on African soil. It was an amazing month, but, now that the soccer fans have left out shores and the

I don’t think we should hail calls to keep to legacy of the world cup alive. As a country, we lived on something akin to an adrenalin high and, lest we keep the adrenalin pumping until we suffer a heart attack, that kind of gees is just not sustainable. The articles written by the foreign press turned from ones of premature criticism to articles of awe at how the World Cup was uniting black and white people and how we were supporting the national team side by side, racial and socio-economic divides be damned. This was all true, at least for the month of the World Cup, but would have a lot more significance if it was not the fourth time the country had supposedly overcome the past and made the unanimous decision to strive for a new future together. The first democratic election was the first, before claims of poor service delivery and corruption arose. The 1995 Rugby World Cup was the second, but the wealth

gap kept increasing and bickering over BEE saturated the public domain. In 2007 when we won the Rugby World Cup for the second time, the national euphoria was temporary and all remnants of this were dashed when racial tensions were once again inflamed through xenophobic attacks, the murder of Eugene Terre’blanche and subsequent boost in the AWB’s membership. Even now, just weeks after the one of the most spirited world cups ever, xenophobic fears have started to resurface. South Africa can no longer rely on huge events to miraculously heal us and shape us for the better. Like any person who has ever made a New Year’s resolution knows, after the euphoria of the countdown to midnight is over they will inevitably be caught eating chocolate, smoking a cigarette and watching trash TV by the fourth of January. Huge changes do not happen overnight; they are a result of small sustainable alterations that create good habits over time. Relying on national sports teams and historic events to unite us in the face of adversity is similar to

Dorothy’s search for the Wizard of Oz – long and ultimately fruitless. Instead, we have to start implementing these changes ourselves. This is not intended to be a negative viewpoint, just a realistic one. We may credit Nelson Mandela with ending Apartheid and Tutu with being instrumental in bringing the World Cup to South African soil, but this may indeed be giving them all the credit and leaving us with none. It was the average citizen who eventually came together and made the country so ungovernable that it was impossible for the system of Apartheid to continue, and it was the average citizen again who donned the Bafana shirt every Friday, filled the fanparks to capacity and rocked the world. We clearly have the ability achieve a society of equality and nonracialism that we so dream of, we just need to learn that this goes beyond June 2010. This ideal must be one that informs our everyday actions and decisions, and even though these changes may be smaller and less noticeable, in the long term they are our only hope.

Desmond Tutu has recently announced his retirement from public life in October just weeks after Nelson Mandela’s grandson Mandla accused FIFA of pressuring his grandfather into attending the World Cup ceremony despite having recently suffered the loss of his granddaughter. We can no longer put all our hope in the iconic figures of Mandela and Tutu; they have done all they can for us and must now be allowed to retire in peace and live their lives for themselves and not for South Africa for a change. We can no longer rest our hopes for a better future on a 2011 Rugby World Cup victory or an Olympic Games held in Durban. Dorothy and her friends discovered that they had the characteristics they were looking for all along. Thus, if it is unity and diversity that we so crave it may be that we do not need to go searching for a magic fix, but we might just have had the brains, the heart and the courage to do so all along.

Tiffany Mugo Hope you felt it because it’s gone. The World Cup: the greatest thing to come to Africa in the history of the continent. The greatest sporting feat in the world was held right here on African soil. The culmination of everything South Africa had been working towards for years, spending massive amounst of money, time, effort and now….its gone. And suddenly there is nothing to watch at 8:30pm and Generations is now back on at 8. Now that the dust from stadium stampedes has settled and people bearing foreign currency have gone home, there is a slight emptiness. When you wear a Brazil shirt, you’re that person. I have heard too many people saying “What will I do with myself now?’”even though they learned the offside rule four weeks ago and previously had little idea who Fabregas was.

lives let us review the World Cup. First and foremost THE STADIUMS WERE DONE and looked fabulous! I admit to being one of those skeptics who shook their heads and went “They will never be done; we will hang our heads in shame as the Europeans pity us.” But no! Now I’m a believer! Governments cannot realise community-based projects, but ask them to revamp an entire country in a matter of months for a bunch of fanatic foreigners and see them transform into a lean mean infrastructure-construction machine. The Gautrain was a blessing, Vaya buses made London buses look like taxis at a taxi rank and a highway appeared as if from thin air. The country was well and truly ready once the first bunch of tourists had arrived. The stadiums, where fans of Brazil and France came to hang their heads in eventual shame, cost approximately R2.2 billion to build and renovate.

But before we brush it off and move on with our football-less

The matches went off without a hitch even though rain streamed

Image courtesy of www.flickr.com

A World Cup wind down I’m a believer – World Cup success surprised foreigners and locals alike. down on players at times and the temperature was near freezing. The World Cup was of course held at a time when Western weather was optimum and Africans experienced “winter”. Nevertheless, the event seemed to have gone of without a hitch, no matter what complaints there were about the Jabulani ball. The British actually accused it of being “too round”…a ball that is “too round”? Looks like self-pity

and excuses comes in all shapes. The French team, after flying back in economy class, were told to report to the Prime Minister and explain themselves. As for Brazil, I have no words. With Bafana Bafana we celebrated mediocrity despite the team being the first host team ever to be thrown out at so early a stage in the competition. But they received bonuses nonetheless. And the vuvuzelas couldn’t have been that much of a problem. There is footage of them being blown at the Tour de France (or some other cycling competition) as cyclists sped by. South Africans stayed true to what they knew and managed to find a time to strike with Eskom threatening to carry out a postponed strike. But of all the World Cup drama my favourtie would have to be Shakira being sued for plagiarizing “Waka Waka”. No one

puts Freshly Ground in the corner and gets away with it. At the end of the day we know people had a good time, as the sale of condoms doubled during the period. But when all the glamour is gone and no-one is drunkenly hitting on you in what seems like French with a hint of Polish, what does it mean for South Africa? The exposure couldn’t have hurt. And the infrastructure will continue to benefit the nation, but what about all the jobs the World Cup temporarily created – what will happen to those people? South Africa has spent a large amount of money on this event leaving a large number of other problems unsolved and under-funded. One can only hope that the money spent bears fruit in some way. I have heard stories of countries struggling to recover after such a massive undertaking, Sydney is still trying to get to grips with the leftovers of the Olympics in 2000. I’m just happy that I don’t have to watch Generations characters mention the World Cup every five minutes. I will miss those moments when whole nations were bound together by a single thread, the hope of NOT getting kicked out of the competition. And seeing grown men cry and throw tantrums. And drinking copious amounts of wine while pretending to watch a match. Eyes to Brazil 2014 everyone!

Disclaimer The Varsity Opinions section is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the university community or other interested parties. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the Varsity Collective or its advertisers. The Opinions Editor expressly reserves the right to edit or shorten letters. Letters should include the name and telephone number of the writer, and must be received by 17h00 on the Wednesday before publication. They should not exceed 350 words, and will not be published under a pseudonym, or anonymously.

Email articles to opinions@varsitynewspaper.co.za


Features 8 2010 World Cup: The madness that was

Photos taken by Tarryn Steenekamp, Simone Millward, Andrecia Ramnath and Stephen Marquard


Features

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Features

The Mechanicals’ brilliant ‘COSI’ Aimee Dyamond

in social organization or political party, COSI’s unconventional spin takes this term quite literally by employing actual lunatics to address universal concepts with their antics. In their performance of COSI, the cast of lunatics delivers a humorous medley of contrasts between infidelity and infidelity; sanity and lunacy; inside and outside; loneliness versus solitude.

On Wednesday 14 July I saw a show at the Little Theatre on Hiddingh campus for the first time ever. The opening show of Louis Nowra’s COSI, brought to life by The Mechanicals and directed by Scott Sparrow, was a pleasant surprise in return for my initially tentative expectations. The Mechanicals Company is a lively troupe of professional theatre performers united in 2008 as a self-funded project. Equipped with cutting wit and a flair for contemporary showbiz this energy-driven group of passionate individuals promises to deliver innovative theatre productions right to our doorstep. With a subplot based on one of Mozart’s most celebrated operas, Cosi Fan Tutte, this theatrical feast follows the lunatic antics of a band of certified madhatters attempting to re-enact an interpretation of this classic piece. This particular performance of Cosi Fan Tutte takes place in 1971 in Melbourne, Australia, with the cast executing

The Mechanicals Deliver - In the recent performance, The Mechanicals deliver sheer entertainment pleasure. some very convincing Australian accents. COSI is a semi-autobiographical play written by acclaimed Australian playwright Louis Nowra and was first performed in Melbourne in 1992. The setting is a burnt-out theatre and the characters, unforgettably, each suffer from a degree of lunacy or antisocial behaviour. Take a pyromaniac, a compulsive liar, a drug addict, an obsessive compulsive, a person suffering

from an adjustment disorder, a comatose pianist and a manic depressive and you will have the madcap cast that makes up COSI’s final curtain. Interestingly there is all but one sane character in this entire fiasco – the lost and adorably bewildered director who one cannot help but to sympathize with as he finds himself thrust into the unexpected role of directing an unruly gang of borderline personalities. Aptly

named

“The

Lunatic

Why we hate Phillip Morris Roy Mathieu Borole I Love You, Philip Morris is easily one of the biggest disappointments of this year’s cinema releases. There’s no drama, outrage, shock or overtly graphic phallic images – in fact there isn’t a wang in sight throughout the entire film; there’s more “hetero snuggle” than “homo bang”. I know this may seem strange, but in all honesty I was expecting more – you know the kind of gross factor that made films like Shortbus legendary and Mysterious Skin infamous. No, I Love You, Philip Morris is pretty banal; it’s funny and clever and even more it’s genuinely romantic – the kind you’re used to seeing Ethan Hawke in. The film is sincere and focuses on two people who are deeply in love and try to do everything to

to defraud every Tom, Dick and Sally he meets. Russell learns the difficulties of decadence by turning to fraud. And man, is he good – so he good he defrauds even the viewer, he meets Morris (MacGregor) in prison and falls hopelessly in love and proceeds to do everything in his power to keep his baby safe.

Not so cool - Jim Carrey and Ewan Macgregor try to bring star power to a lackluster film. please one another and remain in love. Ewan MacGregor’s portrayal is a tour de force, and he delivers one of his most memorable performances as the hopeless, overly affectionate Philip Morris, and Jim Carey... well, Jim Carey could make Robert Mugabe laugh. Carey plays Steven Russell, a burnout cop-turned-conman who goes on an all-out mission

It’s really shameful to think the world made such a hoorah over this film, when it has less pole than a pole vaulting competition. The thing that makes this so offensive to some at a fundamental level is that two men can be in love. And not the typical “gay love” we’re accustomed to seeing which involves hours and hours of rocket science, but instead the kind of love every post-menopausal housewife dreams of. It’s funny and sweet and gay, but not Will & Grace gay, or Brokeback gay, but rather gay like Neapolitan ice cream: just different.

Fringe” as a play on the term coined by Theodore Roosevelt to describe American anarchists, COSI explores the fanaticism that goes hand in hand with social and political movements. With a lighthearted edge and some laugh-outloud moments, this lovably madcap troupe invites the audience to delve into complex social issues, namely Communism during the Vietnam War, the reasons for insanity and the true meaning of love. In parallel with “The Lunatic Fringe,” which refers to the radical and irresponsible people

This stellar performance is brilliantly acted and superbly designed. In true theatre craftsmanship the show succeeds in delivering a charming, funny and heartfelt message to its audience with many laughs in between. Go and see COSI with an open mind and expect to be charmed, shocked and, of course, entertained by this very human story that reveals many important truths about love, freedom, reason and politics within a hilariously dysfunctional setting. It’s quite a lengthy show, but so entertaining that the approximately two-hourlong laugh session is one wellspent. COSI is showing at The Little Theatre until 31 July.

A fool moon at the cinema Calvin Scholtz At midnight on Wednesday 30 June, in the midst of the Soccer World Cup, thousands of fans of another persuasion were sitting down in cinemas across the country to watch the most anticipated film of 2010 so far. I did not go to a fabled midnight screening, but rather opted for a midday one. Even then, the queue to get in was a half-mile or so long. Eventually, there was a collective drawing of breath as the blue mountain of Summit Entertainment appeared. That company has certainly reaped the rewards of backing the relatively low-budget first Twilight movie back in 2008. The sequel, New Moon, broke all records set by its predecessor, both in terms of box-office takings and DVD sales. The third and latest film, Eclipse, is expected to surpass even those successes. The movie opens with a young man leaving a Seattle coffee shop at night in the rain. He hasn’t gone far when he realizes that he’s being followed. He starts running, but his pursuer soon catches up. The mysterious figure darts back and forth, toying with the helpless man. Then, he gets bitten on the arm and immediately starts convulsing with pain as the camera zooms out above him and the music builds to a crescendo. It’s a promising start: director David Slade (30 Days of Night) was clearly the right choice to handle the most action-packed film of the saga so far. The rest of the movie pretty much unfolds as any fan of the book series expects it to: Jacob is still trying to win Bella’s affections and this forces her to make a choice; meanwhile, a growing threat from a vampire army cannot be ignored and culminates in an

epic fight scene. Actor Taylor Lautner is once again shirtless for most of the film, and, judging by the screams, audiences worldwide have come to prefer his Jacob to Rob Pattinson’s Edward. Listen out in the film for the in-jokes poking fun at this fact. Due to a clash in filming schedules, a new actress was hired to play arch-villainess, Victoria: this originally caused a stir among fans, but the change is hardly noticeable in the film. It seems to me that people either love or hate the whole Twilight phenomenon. I am happy to find myself somewhere in between those two poles, in a position where I can both enjoy the fandemonium and appreciate why certain people absolutely despise it. On the downside, the story can at times be overly sentimental and does things to the legends of vampires and werewolves that would make Bram Stoker turn in his grave. On the other hand, Meyer has, like JK Rowling before her, got a large number of teenagers reading again by creating a cast of characters that, like it or not, are now a part of the popular consciousness. Also, I have to admit that it is fantastic to sit in a cinema and watch a film that the audience really cares about, that they clap and cheer for – an attitude that recent moviegoers have lacked.


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Features

Grahamstown Arts Festival – “Welcome to AMAZ!NG� Rachel Mazower UPON entrance into Grahamstown in June/July, visitors were greeted by signs reading “Welcome to AMAZ!NG�. I am delighted to report that this year’s Standard Bank National Arts Festival did not disappoint. The event is an annual showcase of South Africa’s best talent and creativity in dance, theatre, visual art, music and all those bits and pieces in between. Grahamstown is a lovely little place and the entire town (which is home to several schools and, of course, Rhodes University) is transformed into a performance and exhibition space for the occasion. People of all age groups and origins attend the festival, giving it an eclectic atmosphere. One of the great things is that the town is quite small, so it is easy to walk between the various destinations. There were also a number of pubs and markets to keep you entertained in between shows. Grahamstown is a student dorp so drinks are cheap there is always a good vibe to be found somewhere afterhours. The university campus is spread out and probably accounts for most of the population. Lots of the classrooms and labs look like old houses and there are residences everywhere. (I have to confess, I had a brief flirtation of disloyalty with a Rhodes honours, until I realised that as much fun as dancing on tables at Pirates is, the hustle and bustle of the Mother City is too big a sacrifice!) The

and crying with their portrayal of a quirky couple battling for a stable family, despite the obstacles that life throws them. Their use of movement and expression was exceptional- you didn’t even notice that there was no speaking. The setting is non-specific late 20th century South Africa, which gives it a dark (but subtle) undertone. If you get the chance, see it.

Cursed Sword - Olekeng Nonofo performs in Ken Arok festival is a fantastic experience – if you missed it this year then book for next year now! Here is a brief review of some of the things I saw that might make it down to Cape Town, so keep your eyes open: Womb Tide was without a doubt a highlight. Produced by Cape Town-based theatre company, FTHK, this play was completely absorbing. The play was written by Lara Foot in 1996, but has been adapted by the company so that it is non-language specific and accessible to people with impaired hearing. The strength of the performance is in the tight and tidy direction by Rob Murray; at all times innovative and gripping. Liezl de Kock and Daniel Buckland had us laughing

WHY WE LEFT - A secene from the play directed by Megan Godsell Matthew Ribnick’s latest comedic escapade (written and directed by his wife, Geraldine Naidoo) does not disappoint. In Monkey Nuts, Ribnick plays a variety of atypical South African characters who are linked by their interactions to kind-hearted, somewhat sociallythwarted Edgar Chambers. Just like Hoot and Chilli Boy, he transforms from one character to another with ease, keeping the audience in hysterics all along. But this show is not for the selfrighteous or serious. As is always the case with festivals, you win some, you lose some. One of the more

bizarre experiences was Same but not Different by the Ntsoana Contemporary Dance Theatre. Unless you habitually pay R40 to watch people writhing on the ground, wrapping themselves in long swathes of material and downing jugs of water only to chunder it all up again, I’d recommend giving this one a miss. When “contemporary� veers to “obscure�, it’s time to focus on your day job. In between the makeshift theatres and stages, a wide variety of art exhibitions managed to sneak their way onto the streets of the city. Besides the men on stilts and children with faces painted white (trying, usually without much success, to hold a pose) that could be seen all over town, I particularly enjoyed the breathtaking Starry Skies of the Karoo by Ian van Straaten. All of his pictures are taken at night with very slow shutter speeds, using only the natural light from stars and manmade dwellings nearby.

KEN AROK AND EMANDULO - A festival favourite Tips for students 1. If you do decide to go, book accommodation in advance as it gets very expensive a couple of months before. Backpackers are the cheapest accommodation (other than tents). The Rhodes Accommodation is really nice, but quite a lot pricier (and let’s be honest – res food is res food wherever you are.) 2. Take your student card along. It can get you discounts of between R10 and R30 on most shows if you book an hour or more in advance. 3. The weather is equally as temperamental in Grahamstown as it is in Cape Town and it gets freezing at night so take many warm layers with you everywhere!

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12

Features Image courtesy of www.flickr.com

A dedication to Beckham’s mugshot Anton Taylor In this darkening world of pain and ugliness, we must all at times stand up and fight for that which we know to be true and right. During those ephemeral moments when we glimpse the warm glow of beauty, we must honour it. As I sat in Cape Town stadium, watching the radiant streaks of beatific majesty blasting out of the England bunker, I felt as so many others have when their eyes first fell upon David Beckham’s face. At once, my life changed. Imagine, if you can, the way in which the Romans gasped as they first gazed up towards the mighty Colosseum, as the critics inhaled as they first saw Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, or as Columbus’s heart filled with exhilaration and triumph as he stared at the Americas. If one were to take all of these emotions, multiply them by each other, and then take 8 caps of industrial strength LSD, one might reach 1% of what it feels like to look upon and worship David Beckham’s face. It’s not that I don’t love women and have turned gaylord – my love of David Beckham’s face stands far above the dirty, human trappings of lust and desire. In the same way that the artist reveres the masterpiece, the nature of my love is a true and pure – it is spiritual and everlasting, as is David’s Beckham’s face. From the moment that I knew I would endeavour to describe

the excessive splendour of David Beckham’s face, I also knew that I was doomed to failure – for how can mere words describe a pure light of glory which is alien and incomparable to the rest of this dingy, dirty world? How could a measly opinions article ever capture what it is to simultaneously live and die, to know all of the universe’s secrets at once, and to feel the mystical emotion of agape, just by looking at something? As Daedalus watched in pained

VANS000257 Rondebosch Relaunch_Press Advert in the Campus Newspaper 195x260.indd 1

despair as his son sought to touch the sun, as our ancients stood upon the plains of Shinar and watched with grim hopelessness as the Babylonians struggled to build a tower to the heavens, so too may you, dear reader, watch as I stumble and sweat with the clumsy tools of language in trying to capture the unattainable butterfly of beauty that is David Beckham’s face. How do we define David Beckham’s face? How can we measure it with such finite

instruments as maths and science? Although still falling pitifully short of nearing an adequate explanation or rating, there have recently been a few achievements in the fields of applied physics which show a dim glimmer of promise. For example, the largest number thus far used in a mathematical application is known as ‘Graham’s number’ – a number so large that if one took all the atoms in the observable universe and used them to represent zeros on the end of the number, it would still not adequately represent it. Following this discovery, in 1999 the UN agreed that this number was equivalent to the rating of hotness that David Beckham’s face scores out of 10.

to ever come within 500km of Brad Pitt, there would be a nuclear holocaust, and poor David still prickles with guilt over the incident in 2004, when he high-fived Ryan Reynolds, inadvertently causing a catastrophic tsunami in Indonesia. There are rumours that the SANDF somehow contributed to Beckham’s Achilles’ injury before the World Cup, thus preventing any chance of him bumping into Kevin Prince Boateng on the field. Such an occurrence would have probably caused greater damage to the South African ecosystem than the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico - which resulted after Fabio Cannavaro starred in an advert alongside David Beckham’s face.

“My love of David Beckham’s face stands far above the dirty, human trappings of lust and desire.”

In fact, the basic premise of the disaster movie 2012 actually stems from the fact that in that year David Beckham is expected to be in London at the same time as both Johnny Depp and George Clooney. God help us all.

Many of you may think that David Beckham’s life is gifted, that when his face created the stars and the earth and the sea and the sky, it unfairly picked a simple mortal to carry it. But David’s life is fraught with hardship, pain and limitations. Yes, as inexplicable as it might sound, David Beckham lives with limitations. It is theorised by nuclear scientists that were David Beckham’s face

Having seen the might of David Beckham’s face I cannot decide whether I am better or worse off. Yes, I have reached the pinnacle of human existence, but at the same time I am now forced to live in a world where the once colourful and exciting now appears dull and grey. I have been to the mountaintop, but now I must return the trenches. Were it not for Tin Roof, Jersey Shore and Steri Stumpie I would think the world devoid of all beauty.

7/14/10 4:49:21 PM


Flying high

The winds are blowing fair at PricewaterhouseCoopers. Our candidates really took off this year in the SAICA Qualifying Examination (QE). 2 candidates shared first place in the national rankings and 10 out of the 25 honours candidates are from PwC. Our pass rate of 65% exceeded the overall SAICA pass rate of 51%. 158 successful candidates are ACI. Congratulations to our high flyers. We’re proud of you and hope that you break all existing records with the Public Practice Examination (PPE) later this year. Visit us at www.pwc.com/za/careers The South African Institute of Chartered Accountants (SAICA) sets standards through the Qualifying Examination (QE). The exam is written after the completion of the Certificate in the Theory of Accounting (CTA) to assess core competence.

Š 2010 PricewaterhouseCoopers Inc. All rights reserved. PricewaterhouseCoopers refers to the network of member firms of PricewaterhouseCoopers International Limited, each of which is a separate and independent legal entity. PricewaterhouseCoopers Inc is an authorised financial services provider. (10-07548)


14

Sports

DOM-INAT-ED

Sporting superpower? Tarryn Steenekamp As the victorious Spanish football team paraded through the streets of a celebratory Madrid with their new World Cup trophy aloft, the rest of the world could only look on, bemused by yet another Spanish victory yet envious of the country’s sporting dominance.

The World Cup babalas Ed Sellier So the proverbial hangover has kicked in, and with it, the euphoria that consumed this country for that illustrious month has evaporated. The splurge of colour that is our national flag no longer bespatters every other wingmirror you drive past; the Shakira, Freshly Ground and K’Naan anthems no longer blare so regularly from corner shops and citizens no longer have an excuse to take extra smoke breaks to discuss goalline technology. Fellowship If ever the cliché “back to reality” applies, it is now. This country became a milieu for football fanatics, some of which were converted overnight. The owner of a Constantia tractor (Range Rover) debating Suarez the cheat, or Suarez the gamesman with his petrol attendant would not have been likely had we not hosted this tournament. Across the socioeconomic frontier the lines of communication are open and diplomatic relations have resumed. From here it’s up to all South Africans to ensure they remain so and become even stronger.

produced 45 goals and the second nine produced just 24, it would seem these fixtures are becoming increasingly hard-fought. People forget that what preceded July 11 were four gripping quarter-finals, a pair of blistering semi-finals and a goal-fest for the third-place play-off; what are all these people moaning about?! Deserving Many feared that South Africa was incapable of organising such a mega-event and had these people not been present on our shores between 11 June and 11 July, they would not have fully understood just how well we did. It was claimed that fans would become victims of violent crime; the stadiums would not be completed on time and the transport system would cease to operate efficiently. Apart from the debacle at Durban’s airport before the Spain-Germany semi-final, a handful of muggings and a few empty corporate boxes, we fully deserved our nine-out-of-ten.

Infrastructure Nobody can say that this tournament was one big moneysquandering affair. Sure, reports will flow incessantly about government’s misuse of public funds for lavish ticket packages, but what this country now has at Consider the diverse creatures its disposal is a vastly improving that constitute our nation. infrastructure. Providing the theatre for that famous trophy unified each and Who is to say the money every one of us, much like the government spent would have ring did with Tolkien’s disparate been appropriated correctly had members of the Fellowship. we not had stadiums to build, or roads to improve or the Gautrain to construct? Through the international lens, South Africa is “Through the now a “can-do” place and not one international lens, of loincloths, Simba and Akunamutata. The eyes of the world South Africa is have been upon us and they liked what they saw. The big question now a ‘can-do’ now is how can we capitalise on place...” this and ensure that momentum is maintained? Vintage It is widely regarded that the football itself flattered to deceive, leaving those watching on their television sets across the globe with mixed feelings. The final might well have been a bland and cagey affair, but when you consider that the first nine World Cup finals

Continuity Carlos Alberto Parreira turned all South Africans into an army of Vuvu-wielding, Makarapawearing, face-painted troops. In seven months he has laid a platform for the development of our national team, creating a squad filled with locally based players. Even our foreign-based stars that

we have always relied on were never guaranteed a starting berth. His prerogative was to make this country an attractive place to launch a football career. The ABSA Premier League has suffered recent ridicule for long-range shots that end in row Z, horrendous facilities, managerial imbroglios and empty seats. South African national football now has a distinguishable persona and so too our domestic league needs a similar makeover. Our league needs to become a suitable place for locals to build their careers, showcase their talent and ensure the continuity of nurturing players to eventually represent their country. It seems the wily, old Brazilian has left us with something to shoot for. Vision Parreira also mentored our new national coach, Pitso Mosimane. Pitso recently laid down his vision for South African football and it does look a promising venture. He admits that our local football needs a major overhaul so he has proposed reducing the foreign player quota of the PSL from five to three and that clubs play at least three under-23 players. This, he believes, will ensure that the right blend of youth and experience exists for 2014. This is all very encouraging, but looking forward we need to focus on more immediate issues. We MUST qualify for the African Cup of Nations 2012 and face a daunting group alongside the current holders, Egypt. Pride There can be no more excuses for poor performances from our national setup. We’ve proved to everybody we can do it: we have shown we can compete, we know what needs to be addressed and our objectives are clear. We managed to rebuild our nation from the ashes of Apartheid. It’s time for South African football to grasp the nettle.

The last five years have provided nothing but sporting superiority for the Mediterranean nation who, for decades, were nothing but Europe’s notorious underachievers. Something is changing in Spain, however, and the rest of the globe is frantically searching to know the secrets to the matadors’ recent success. Pride and Glory In tennis, Spain has won four of the last nine Davies Cups, while prodigal talent and world number one Rafael Nadal has, at the age of 23, won eight Grand Slam singles titles, the 2008 Olympic gold singles medal, 19 ATP Masters Series tournaments and remains the current Wimbledon champion. In basketball, the Spanish national team were able to dominate in both the recent Eurobasket competition as well as at the Basketball World Cup, with the majority of national players serving NBA teams across the United States. Spaniards also reign supreme in their cycling endeavours and have won the Tour de France a total of thirteen times. They have dominated cycling headlines over the last decade, producing talented exports Carlos Sastre and five-time champion Miguel Indurain. Manof-the-moment Alberto Contador is also dominating sporting headlines after securing his third Le Tour title in spectacular fashion on Sunday. The Spanish Olympic team has brought national pride as they jumped an impressive six positions in the official Olympic World Rankings after they finished in 9th place at the Beijing Games in 2008. International swimming, handball and motorcycling also seem to have the presence of Spanish frontrunners.

Most impressive in the Spanish sporting rise has to be the country’s football team, however, who have grown from strength to strength since they triumphed in the EURO 2008 competition and went on to win the first World Cup in Royal Spanish Football history. La Furia Roja also became the first European team to win the World Cup on a foreign continent. Although Spaniards seem to be taking the sporting world by storm, team successes have not been easily attained and the country has put immense effort into sports management and planning. The Art of planning Spain’s journey to success began in 1992 when the country was granted the opportunity of hosting the Olympic Games in Barcelona. The Games promoted a large variety of Olympic sports within the country and brought about an increased enthusiasm for sport in general. Spain’s new found passion for sport would, in turn, affect an entire generation and the population’s avid support for their national teams continues to flourish to this day. While Barcelona acted as the catalyst for sporting change in the country, concrete policies and meticulous planning seem to have done the rest. Spain’s sporting successes are explained by a sports policy that has been rigorously applied at every level of sport across the country. Apart from the teaching and training done by schools, universities, public institutions and city councils, the Spanish government has also invested a large amount of time and money into Plan ADO (Association of Olympic Sports), a programme aimed at preparing athletes for professional Olympic careers. Lessons learnt While the rest of the world studies Spain from afar, South Africa has an opportunity of capitalising on the empire’s advanced planning and experience. With a healthy combination of professional planning and investment, South Africa could, in years to come, be the envy of the globe too!


15

Sports

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Cape Town’s football future

It was here! - Has the 2010 FIFA World Cup laid a foundation for a lasting football legacy in Cape Town?

Paul Herman I’ve been thinking about this topic long before I ever considered writing about it. Like everyone else, or at least most of us I hope, I enjoyed my World Cup. I was privileged enough to have tickets to quite a few games, in three different cities no less, and even had the audacity to give my last ticket to my sister, who probably knows as much about football as I do about pottery. But it was my greatly anticipated trip to Bloemfontein to watch my country play against France in their last game of the 2010 World Cup which excited me most, for obvious reasons of course, but also for one I had not anticipated; one which inspired me to write. It’s been well documented that Bafana Bafana games are almost always played in either Gauteng or Bloemfontein. PSL side Bloemfontein Celtic boasts the title of most supported club outside the two Gauteng-based juggernauts of Soweto, the Orlando Pirates and Kaiser Chiefs. No surprise then that all three South African group games went to exactly those two areas, Gauteng and Bloemfontein. As a Capetonian, I’ve always been a little bit confused, and at times, felt a bit cheated that Cape

Town never gets to see its country play. We’ve hosted the likes of Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur at Newlands Stadium in the past. Why then do we never get to see our own country play in our own city? What greeted me inside the stadium in Bloemfontein that day gave me a bit of an answer. When it comes to the faithful (and, evidently, crazy) support for both local and national sports teams, there’s no better place to be than Free State Stadium, and no better example of how to care for your teams. It’s a city where sports and the stadium are at the heart of all activity. From their famous “heppi” chant, to that thing they all do with their vuvuzelas (I don’t know if it has a name, but it should definitely catch on), to one of my favourites, “Shosholoza”, it’s easy to see now why Free State stadium is often given our national games. Yet none of this I realised while I was there. I was too busy soaking it in and enjoying my time as a South African. It was only two days later, when I found myself back at Cape Town Stadium to watch Cameroon play the Netherlands that I realised what the problem in Cape Town may be. And the differences could not have been more contrasting.

We live in the best city in the country; we have the best attractions, scenery, beaches, Long Street, and the fan walk. Yet when it came to impressing most, inside our own world-class stadium, I felt significantly underwhelmed that day. Yes, I know it was a Bafana game I had watched in Bloemfontein, so naturally everything would’ve been grander. But it wasn’t the volume or the lack of noise inside Green Point I was worried about. It was something more than that; it was the evident lack of a stadium culture. Don’t get me wrong, Cape Town Stadium’s atmosphere was good at times, especially if it was your first time or it’s the only stadium you had visited. But ultimately it lacked something – some substance, some point beyond just the arbitrary blowing of a vuvuzela at random points in a match. Our stadium was new, but that’s no reason for it not to feel like a home to anyone. It was almost as if Capetonians weren’t used to watching live football matches in Cape Town. Ironically, I don’t think that’s too far from the truth. That is the problem, I believe. Historically, Capetonians simply have not cared enough about local football, and I include myself in that statement.

One only has to see the latest voting results for the Telkom Charity Cup to see where Cape Town teams feature on the support list (at one point Ajax Cape Town was at 53 votes when Kaiser Chiefs was nearing 6000). And it’s a little more than coincidence that the most supported club team in South Africa outside of Soweto also consistently gets to watch the boys play at Free State Stadium.

“It’s a city where sports and the stadium are at the heart of all activity...” For some, it’s more than just an indifferent attitude too. I know people who refuse to support local football simply because it can, at times, fall short of the level of other overseas leagues. The rest of us, including myself, have simply let the idea of local football whither in the background as we prefer to kick back on the couch and take in the Barclays Premier League. As a Capetonian I’ve always wondered why we never get to see our country play live. That day at Cape

Town Stadium showed me that we need to do more to deserve it; we need to earn it. So we as Capetonians now have a duty to correct that. We’ve been given a fresh start, with a beautiful new stadium, a stadium that deserves to be made into a home. For the first time in the PSL we have three local teams participating in South Africa’s top tier in Ajax Cape Town, Santos, and the newly promoted Vasco Da Gama. So why should we suffer on support? Let Greenpoint be the new place to be “heppi”. For all of you who were happy to say “I was there” during this past month, good on you; that is what it was all about. But something just as important as that is a continuation of that idea, to turn “I was there” into “I’m going to be there” – to create a lasting legacy for local football in our city. A change in Cape Town’s attitude towards local football may yet bring the boys back to the Mother City one day soon. And there’s no excuse anymore. So next month, on 27 August, when Ajax Cape Town host Bloemfontein Celtic as they kick-off the new PSL season at our very own Cape Town Stadium, I will be there. I hope you will be there too.

Who is Phillip? And what does he want from us? Thato Mabudusha He came, he saw, he conquered. Children flooded the streets of the nation with chants of “PHILLIP IS HERE!” His name was on the lips of hundreds of thousands of South Africans as he resolutely brought joy, laughs, misery and sadness to a nation.

by handling Ghana’s certain goal. But again, he stayed. And some were convinced that Phillip (Lahm) boarded the first flight home when underdogs-turnedfavourites, Germany, were unceremoniously ousted by the Spaniards. But no, Phillip refused to leave.

Some said Phillip left when South Africa was trounced by Uruguay – many thanks to the eerily brilliant striking foot of Diego Forlan. But no, he stayed. Some said Phillip departed when Ghana, Africa’s last hope for World Cup glory, was robbed by he-who-shall-not-be-named and his desire to play basketball

It is rumoured that Phillip is an illegal immigrant from a remote land with a mandate to rule the land for 31 days (apparently Mandela helped smuggle him in). He was here to remind South Africans about the passion and love we have for our country that went missing under a layer of pessimism and doubt. He was

here to help us show the world that Africa isn’t just some pitied place of darkness, devoid of hope. As the unspoken leader of the nation for 64 games, Phillip single-handedly brought down the crime rate, strikes have been virtually non-existent, traffic has lessened and South Africans have forgotten about the colour of their neighbours as we all stood in unison to irritate the world with our impeccable vuvuzela-blowing abilities. Perhaps Phillip should start a political party – Phillip Congress of Unity (PCU)? Phillip sat with us in the lounges, Fan Fests and stadiums as we

cried in agony, ululated with joy and bellowed unmentionable atrocities in the general direction of the referees for their poor decisions, because we can all, OBVIOUSLY, do a better job. And as the World Cup ended, we watched the closing ceremony with heavy hearts and uncertainty about the future. We all asked ourselves, “What are we going to do now?” Perhaps we’ll have to settle for sub-standard television, constantly watch World Cup reruns or wallow in self-pity as we unanimously fall into a deep, depressed sleep. Never fear folks – you may breathe a sigh of relief because

Phillip was reportedly recruited by the head honchos to extend his tender to build a better South Africa: united, passionate and crime-free. It’s rumoured that he’s still considering it. If he says nay, then we’ll be seeing him under the name of Phillipo dos Iuliano – with greasy hair, chest curls and a tendency to avoid wearing t-shirts – in Brazil in 2014. If it’s a yes, then we can continue to proclaim “PHILLIP IS HERE!” under the banner of a united, happy South Africa. Viva PCU, Viva!


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SA Olympics: Cape can’t cope

Sports Bites

ABSA Stadium, home to the KwaZulu Natal Rugby Union, as well as Kingsmead cricket ground are also located nearby. Durban, currently South Africa’s third-largest city, is also home to a new international airport. Cape Town was able to beat off other South African host cities for the 2004 Olympic bid and while they will look to achieve the same feat for the 2020 competition, the Western Cape metropolis will need to do an extensive amount of work to combat the many hurdles stifling their Olympic chances.

Mancini confident that Torres move is close.

The city has insufficient space for the building of new sports complexes and existing event arenas are currently located too far apart with archery and athletics arenas located as far as Stellenbosch. The new Cape Town Stadium is not multi-functional and hence cannot be used as an athletics track – meaning a new stadium would have to be built in the city or major alterations would need to take place on the pre-existing structure. Johannesburg, like Durban, has a multi-purpose stadium in the new 94 000-capacity National Stadium (previously known as Soccer City). The region’s biggest challenge, however, is the large distance visitors would need to travel between different events.

Wavin’ Flag - After the success of 2010, have we earned the right to host the Olympics?

Tarryn Steenekamp Fresh from its successful hosting of Africa’s first FIFA World Cup, South Africa seeks a bright and captivating challenge. The mouthwatering prospect of hosting the 2020 Olympic Games will be next on the agenda for our Rainbow Nation, but which of our respectable cities will earn the right to submit a bid for the influential event? The South African Sports Confederation and Olympic Committee (SASCOC) has announced its plans to bring the Olympics to Africa for the first

time in 2020, stating that the hunt for a suitable host city will continue over the upcoming months. Cape Town, Johannesburg and Durban are each considered possible bid cities. While all three cities’ bids are strengthened by improving infrastructure and service, Durban seems to be the strongest contender in the Olympic race. The area is home to world-class sporting facilities and already successfully meets specific Olympic infrastructure requirements. The east coast city was one of nine World Cup host cities in

2010 and recently built the multipurpose Moses Mabhida Stadium for the tournament. The oceanside facility has a capacity of 72 000 as well as space for a large athletics track. Unoccupied land surrounding the structure also offers adequate building space for an adjoining indoor Olympic arena. The majority of Olympic events would take place within close proximity of each other in the city with the Kwa-Zulu Natal aquatic centre, which is already home to an Olympic-approved swimming pool, a stones-throw away from the Moses Mabhida complex. The

The city has given its public transport facilities a major upgrade, though, and the new highspeed Gautrain would assist in transporting thousands of visitors effectively. While a lot of work will be needed in any city before it is fully able to host the Games, South Africa has nonetheless proven that it is more than ready to host an event of Olympic scale. After being home to over 500 000 foreign visitors for the recent World Cup and efficiently playing host to 64 matches in 30 days without any major security or infrastructure issues, one can only agree with a positive President Zuma in saying that the event will be a “gift” for our country and will “strengthen nation building, bringing our colourful nation together, once more”.

Varsity Sports: The game plan Dominic Verwey Sometimes it may be a skimread of the back page – not even attempting to look further – while quickly struggling to scald your throat with the coffee you just bought two minutes before class. Sometimes the brave ones venture to the stories hidden inside the back cover. And there are of course the avid sports fans who read the section as a religion. But what is the main message we’re putting across? Are we merely reading

about online events, regurgitating, and throwing it up onto the pages for it to be viewed for the umpteenth time? And where does the journalism come into play? The view is that international sports are the sports that excite us the most, from the great European footballers to the classy golfers of the Americas to the infamous Aussie and All Black rugby players. But we all know that as soon as it has happened on the international scene, we are all

aware of it, and reading about the events in VARSITY is somewhat a repetition of an already viewed sporting saga. This is not journalism, this is repetition. What most of us are subconsciously aware of, but not open to entirely, is that these sports from abroad are literally being played right outside our front door by people we know. And our job, as VARSITY – a UCT-related newspaper whose aim is to serve its readers – is to ensure our locals know what is happening, locally.

More Spanish glory as Contador rules the Tour again.

Of course, the international articles need to be shown in case some of the slow ones didn’t catch on. However, these will most likely be pieces expressing views of an already-analysed international sporting event. What you need to look out for are our reports of local, and especially UCT-based, sports that are played by friends of ours – sometimes as close as the bottom of Jammie steps or on one of our Astro turfs. Our promise is that we’ll report, and all we ask is for you to enjoy the local flavour.

Springboks return home divided and in disarray.

Ferrari fined over staging Alonso’s German GP win.

Raul leaves Real Madrid. His future remains unknown.


2010: Edition 7