Edition 4: 2008

Sexuality: A fashion statement?

Coke Fest brings rock’s best

South African sports colour bar

page 8

page 11

page 3

1 April 2008 · Volume 67, Number 4 · 021 650 3543 · varsitynewspaper@gmail.com

NSLT to be SRC member arrested demolished Nabeelah Martin

More parking for students on the way Alessandro Rossi IT HAS been confirmed that the New Science Lecture Theatre (NSLT) will finally be demolished to make way for a three-story parking bay, say university officials.

‘Demolishment has been in the pipeline since 2005,’ says Neville Brown, Senior Manager of UCT’s Traffic and Congestion Department. ‘With the increase in the number of students at UCT, the current parking bays just aren’t sufficing,’ he says. ‘We have considered other options, but we eventually decided that the demolition of the NSLT would be the most feasible.’

His reasons are three-fold, he explained: The NSLT is one of the most under-utilised lecture venues on Upper Campus, and it is close enough to University Avenue to allow vehicles to enter and exit the parking bay with minimised disturbance to surrounding lecture venues. Most importantly, the problem of a lack of parking for undergraduates will be solved.

The parkade is to be exclusively for undergraduates, freeing up other parking areas on campus for visitors, postgrads, lecturers etc.

The parking bay, which has aptly been coined the NTLP (New Third Level Parking) will boast 1,500 parking bays and should be completed by 2010, says the Senior Manager of Traffic and Congestion. ‘Students will feel the punch,’ he says, ‘Construction will start in April this year and will only cease during exam times, which have already been, on our request, majorly condensed in order to maximise our construction time.’ Preliminary building has commenced on the Physics Building. The facade is going to be re-done in a mosaic, depicting the solar system. This is in order to show UCT’s commitment to diversity and the quest for knowledge. It also contributes to the ‘Brightening Up Campus Initiative’ which was launched last week in a private ceremony. Once the mosaic is unveiled at the end of the year, there will be an inauagural service involving students.

Neville Brown warns that many lectures may be temporarily forced into Meridian, in order to ease the shortage of venues. He further counsels that food vendors near the construction site, including McHarry’s, Souper Sandwich and Rainbow Chicken, may have to be shifted to other campuses until about 2012.

A MEMBER of the SRC was arrested for being in possession of a stolen laptop. He cannot be named as he has not yet pleaded.

The laptop was stolen from a room in Liesbeeck Gardens Residence.

The SRC member was arrested on Saturday evening, and detained until Tuesday morning. He was then transferred to Wynberg Magistrate’s Court, where he was released on a warning. He is scheduled to appear in court on 5 May. VARSITY spoke to the arresting officer, who said that, pending investigation, the charges could be upgraded to theft. The police took fingerprints from the room once the case had been reported.

The SRC member maintains that he had bought the laptop unaware that it was stolen. When VARSITY requested an interview, he refused, saying that, ‘the matter is still under investigation.’ The

question remains: who sold the laptop to the SRC member.

Moonira Khan, the head of the Department of Student Affairs, says that the SRC Constitution makes provision for disciplinary procedures if a member has been found guilty of a criminal offence.

Membership of the SRC can be terminated if the member brings the SRC into disrepute by being found guilty of a serious offence.

Khan says: ‘An internal institutional investigation is underway and the matter has been reported to the UCT Student Tribunal. As is the case with any formal investigation, the due process must be allowed to take place unhindered, and the rights of the individual must be respected in terms of legal provisions of ‘innocent until proven guilty.’’

‘In the interim, (the member) has the right to continue to fulfill his academic and SRC obligations until such time that the investigation is concluded and the out-

come known. Consequently, decisions regarding (the member’s) tenure as SRC member will then be reviewed and appropriatelyinformed decisions will be taken as necessary.’

The SRC released a statement which said: ‘The SAPS and Campus Protection Services are currently conducting independent investigations on the matter. The SRC is of the belief that it will also be important for all concerned to await the decisions of the judiciary process that is unfolding, with the understanding that it is the outcome of this that will determine (the member’s) status within the SRC and the University.

‘The work of the SRC will however not be interrupted by this incident and measures will be put in place to ensure that we continue to do justice to our mandate which is to effectively represent the students of UCT.’

from the residences they were based at, to the main offices of the Department for Student Housing and Residence Life. This is in order to develop student life within residences and to become more focused on all student housing facilities.

The selection process has already begun, with candidates for the posts of Warden being shortlisted as of last week for those residences which need to choose new wardens. The candidates will go through a series of interviews with members of Student Housing as well as an ‘interrogation’ session, in which the students of the residence question the candidate.

In the past, the students have used these sessions to determine whether the candidate is suited to

the residence and have then made their choice of Warden based on the outcome.

The decision of who will be Warden is a joint decision which should take into account the preferences of both students and Student Housing. However, sources told VARSITY that some residences were not present at the shortlisting consultation which has left students wary of how the rest of the selection will proceed.

Mr Raphoto also stated that the residence wardens, who are leaving their residences, as is the case at Fuller Hall and Leo Marquard, are leaving for personal reasons and not as a result of restructuring, as was rumoured. The positions of part-time wardens will remain the same.

Residence wardens restructured Tatenda Goredema

Bye-Bye NSLT - UCT’s much loved NSLT building will no longer be a feature on campus once the triple storey parkade is complete ‘Medical Campus has made it clear that they want the ‘Chinese Shop’ and we intend on giving it to them,’ he says.

Neville anticipates some negative response from staff and students alike, but says negotiations with University Management are complete; the decision is final, and no further correspondence will be entered into.

RESIDENCE life at UCT is undergoing changes, with the restructuring of the full-time Warden position at UCT. The Director of Student Housing, Mr Khotso Raphoto, spoke to VARSITY explaining that, ‘the original idea of restructuring the full time Warden’s position was proposed in 2005, and was initiated in order to better the implementation of developing student life and to ensure that the residences at UCT were being effectively and efficiently managed in line with the policy of the Department for Student Housing and Residence Life.’

The restructuring entails moving the four full-time wardens

out of this world - This is the final design which will be set into the side of the R.W James physics building.

Varsity, the official student newspaper since 1942, is committed to the principles of equality and democracy

2

news

Volume 67 Number 4

Lydia DePillis

AT LONG last, recycling is coming to UCT – and this time around, organisers hope it will stick.

Beginning in August, clusters of four bins with differently colored lids will start appearing on University Avenue as part of a campus-wide recycling plan, including academic buildings, residences, and open spaces. The student-led Green Campus Initiative teamed up with Properties and Services to design the programme, which will kick off with a ‘Green Week’ to raise awareness about sorting waste.

The waste will be sorted by the consumer, and further processed at a facility to be built on campus before being picked up by a recycling company, reducing transport costs. The programme is expected to cost money – depending on proposals from contractors – but the University has committed to long-term support for the programme, which is part of a larger sustainability plan championed by Deputy Vice-Chancellor Martin Hall. ‘There seems to be a will and an interest, particularly among students, more so than staff at this point,’ said Critien.

‘I think all of the Council and the Executive should be forced to watch [former United States VicePresident Al Gore’s documentary] An Inconvenient Truth...It’s my generation that created the problem, and we should take accountability for it.’

The sustainability document, which includes general aims for energy and water conservation, recycling, and carbon emissions reduction, is on its way to the Council and Senate for formal approval. The author of the report, Noeleen Murray from the office of the Vice-Chancellor, compared the urgency of environmental issues to that of the AIDS crisis.

‘Sustainability needs to be accorded a similar kind of high priority status,’ she said.

The SRC is in the process of reviewing the sustainability plan. Secretary General Thando Vilikazi, has asked for an extension in order to compile a ‘bigger, better’ response. The SRC would like to organise a large summit of all interested students to generate

ideas and broaden support for the initiative.

‘We are responding to a very big demand,’ Thando said. ‘The more people, the better.’

According to an audit conducted three years ago, the University generates five to eight tonnes of waste per day and 65% of that is recyclable. The recycling program could keep 1,000 tonnes per year out of Cape Town’s landfills north of the city, which are projected to fill up within three to four years.

The recycling initiative has been largely spearheaded by Susan Botha, 31, who completed both her undergraduate and masters degrees at UCT and is now working in the Botany department. Last August, she organised a recycling program in the Botany building that collected 600 kgs of paper (as well as tin and plastic) in its first eight weeks and is still in operation. That model – in which cleaning staff pick up each kind of recyclable once a week, requiring no more effort than regular trash collection – will now be exported to buildings all around campus in what she calls a ‘building-to-building road show’. ‘It worked like a bomb.

We were really surprised by how clean people were,’ said Botha.

‘If it requires any extra human effort, it’s probably going to fail.’

A few departments had already started their own recycling systems, besides Botany. The medical campus hired its own contractor to pick up recyclables, as did the Law Faculty. Eventually, Botha would like the University to establish a unit to drive sustainability initiatives, as many universities in the United States already have. In South Africa, several other universities, including Witswatersrand and Stellenbosch, already have fully operational recycling programmes in place.

Ultimately, the goal is to become completely ‘carbon neutral’, to reduce net carbon emissions to zero. Botha, who is working on a habitat restoration project in Namaqualand and is planning on leaving the University in September, said she was initially inspired by watching the Gore documentary. ‘It just helped me see what was really happening,’ she said.

Zim elections 2008 Images courtesy of www.abc.au.net

Eagerly watching and waiting for change

Zerene Haddad AT THE time of going to print, the preliminary results of the Zimbabwe presidential and parliamentary elections that were released indicated that the MDC won 12 seats in parliament, with ZANU-PF taking the other 12 seats. The MDC accuses ZANUPF of delaying the results in an attempt to fix the vote in Mugabe’s favour. Rumours of the elections being rigged are rife, but SADC

observers say elections were free and fair.

Itai Pasi, the head of ZIMSOC UCT commented to VARSITY, ‘I feel that the elections have never been so uncertain before, we just don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s not as clear as it’s been in the past.’ She also stated that ZIMSOC was apolitical and therefore did not involve themselves in such matters.

Source: www.news24.com

Photos by Kate Collins

Campus recycling Jammie Shuttle accident

Skidding to a halt- A motorbike collided with a UCT Jammie Shuttle on Woolsack Drive last Thursday. The motorcyclist was indecisive about whether to turn onto the M3 or continue straight. Losing control, he was flung off the bike as it skidded into the path of the Jammie. Luckily, nobody was seriously injured.

Interview: Prof. de la Rey VARSITY speaks to outgoing DVC about her career at UCT and the future Alessandro Rossi interviewed UCT’s Deputy Vice-Chancellor, Cheryl de la Rey, who will be leaving the University at the end of April to take up the position of CEO at the Council of Higher Education (CHE).

How long have you been at UCT and what has your role been over this period?

I started at UCT in 1995 as a lecturer in the Psychology Department. From the end of 2000, I was on secondment to the National Research Foundation and I returned to UCT in mid 2002 when I was appointed as Deputy Vice-Chancellor.

You’re on the editorial boards of the South African Journal of Psychology and Feminism and Psychology, and you have written and spoken numerous times about the inequalities and injustices that women face when pursuing careers in academia. What is it that fuelled your interest in this topic?

I have been concerned about this issue since I was at school. I wrote my first article on gender inequality for the school magazine. My interest is fuelled by my own experiences and the experiences of other women and girls.

How would you gauge the level of gender inequality amongst the academics of UCT, and is UCT taking any active steps towards eradicating gender injustice?

UCT is taking active steps and there has been improvement over the years, but there are many challenges still to be tackled. UCT has good policies on equality.

These policies are necessary but insufficient to bring about gender equality.

Why are you resigning as Deputy Vice-Chancellor after many years of service?

I am currently in my second term as Deputy Vice-Chancellor

and having achieved many of the objectives that I set for my first term, I believe it is time for a career change. I have always enjoyed working at the national level and I now have an opportunity to do so. I am very excited about taking up my new role.

What are your views on the selection process for the ViceChancellor and on the appointment of Max Price?

I was pleased to be short-listed. It was a competitive process and I was aware of this from the outset. I am pleased for Dr Price and I wish him success as ViceChancellor.

Do you have any idea of who your successor will be, if so what are your views about him/her?

No, I don’t have any idea of who my successor will be. I believe the person should be passionate about higher education in general and about UCT in particular. Ideally, it should be someone with strong leadership skills as well as an understanding of the current higher education context, both nationally and internationally.

You are leaving us to undertake the position of CEO at the Council of Higher Education.

What about that position attracts you?

I am very attracted by the opportunity to work at the national level across the higher education system. I feel privileged to have the opportunity to make a difference to the present and future of South African higher education and thereby serve the people of our country.

It is my understanding that you will be part of the council that advises the Minister of Education, Mrs Naledi Pandor, on higher education-related topics. That’s clearly an extremely influential position. Having said

that, what type of change do you envision for higher education in South Africa?

Correct, the CHE advises the Minister of Education. It also has responsibility for quality assurance, monitoring of the system in relation to policy objectives and undertaking public initiatives such as conferences and symposia in the interests of the higher education system as a whole. One of the changes that I wish to focus on is increasing the participation and success rates. As a country, we need to see more people enrolling and then graduating with higher education qualifications. For this to happen, it is imperative that we focus on the quality of teaching and learning, the funding of higher education and the capacity of our institutions. A second and related area is the responsiveness of the curriculum – looking at issues such as the employability of our graduates and whether we are doing enough to meet the social and economic needs of our country. Another issue is the competitiveness and impact of our scholarship. Here, I refer to both the importance of generating new knowledge and the broader impact of this knowledge.

After you leave, will you have any involvement at UCT? Perhaps you will continue to have some participation with the Psychology department?

In my new position I will be working with UCT in various ways. There are currently many UCT colleagues who are involved in various CHE projects. So I will continue to work with many individuals, only in a different role. I will certainly remain in contact with my colleagues in Psychology, for example many of us are actively involved in organising the 2012 International Congress of Psychology. It will be in Cape Town and this will mark the first time that this major event is held in an African country.

Varsity

3

focus

gay UCT – gay Cape Town – gay world

Sexuality: A fashion statement?

BACK in the day you were either born a boy or a girl; aside from a few exceptions, but let’s leave that discussion for another day. Your parents had expectations, the simplest being that one day you would marry someone of the opposite sex and give them grandchildren.

In today’s world, being born either a boy or a girl is much more complicated. Parents hope their children stay the same sex they came into this world as, and then have the idyllic dream that their children will marry someone of the opposite sex and give them grandchildren. Gay and Lesbianism used to be explained medically. It was blamed on hor-

mones due to having an extra Y or X chromosome. Now Gay and Lesbianism can be explained in terms of fashion.

It has become a sexual preference of choice. One day you wake up and decide that you no longer like jeans, but are into dresses instead or vice versa. Gay and Lesbianism is seen as hip and trendy. Girls want a gay best friend and guys want to get it on with lesbians. Society has put stereotypes on what it is to be gay and lesbian, and has made those stereotypes fashionable.

Cape Town in particular has a way of changing people. This city caters for gay and lesbians and makes them feel at home like no other. A gay friend of mine,

who wishes not to be named, says after a year of being in Cape Town he chose to be ‘gay’. He does not necessarily have a sexual preference for men, but felt like experimenting a bit and enjoys the company of women without them being self-conscious in the presence of a male. At home he is your typical jock and has a girlfriend. He feels at home, people have negative attitudes towards homosexuals, but in Cape Town, people are less judgmental. Has sexuality really become a fashion statement with everybody hopping from trend to trend? I guess today one can only ask if you like jeans or dresses.

Homosexuality – a national threat?

MACIEK DUBLA

I HAVE heard just about every argument on why homosexuality is ‘immoral’ and ‘disgusting’; the most tedious of these being ‘because the Bible says so’. By now these have become fairly amusing, and usually garner a laugh when mentioned by someone who thinks they are exhibiting a sense of intellect. However, in the past two weeks, an argument was made against homosexuality that quite simply made my – as well as millions around the globe’s – jaw drop. Republican Sally Kern, a State Legislator from the state of Oklahoma, said in a speech that ‘the homosexual agenda is destroying this nation’ and that she ‘honestly think(s) it’s the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.’ I’m sorry… what?

It never ceases to amaze me how through some of the world’s most shocking and disastrous events, the main focus will somehow always revert to minor and quite simply, inconsequential matters. This is not to say that homosexuality is in any way trivial. But how can one state that two men or women loving each other is a bigger threat then the people who steered two Boeing airplanes into

the Twin Towers and caused the death of a presumed 2,998 people?

As much as one would like to believe this is merely a concentrated incident and cannot possibly affect the rest of the world, one must consider the implications of a statement of this nature. The truth is, of course, that the statements are in no way logical and in fact, only give permission to individuals who discriminate against homosexuality more ammunition to do so.

Kern accused homosexuals of pushing a ‘gay agenda’ and went on to say that homosexuals ‘are going after our young children, as young as two years of age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle’.

She follows this by referring to the gay-straight alliances that have begun to form in American schools, and it is at this point best to ask yourself: is this really a matter of indoctrination or simply a matter of students banding together to show that homosexuality and heterosexuality are not defining attributes; that we are all simply individuals living our own lives?

Last year, Rainbow UCT initiated a campaign that saw a rainbow-coloured closet standing in the middle of Jammie Plaza.

Within the closet one could read about the history of homosexual discrimination and students were given the chance to express their views by writing on the closet.

Upon reading some of these comments, it was quite clear that some UCT students shared a similar view to the self-righteous Sally Kern.

So before we preach Christianity, the Bible, or any religion for that matter; before we listen to others and accept everything we hear as fact, maybe we should assess ourselves as individuals and the role we play in forming stereotypical and hate-filled images.

Only when communities and societies band together and put a stop to the spread of these malicious fabrications, can people like Sally Kern be removed from positions of power. What needs to be kept in mind is that Kern says that ‘gays are infiltrating city councils…they are winning elections’, yet we do not see these individuals, in positions of power, discrediting heterosexuality or promoting homosexuality. Swiss Psychiatrist, Carl Jung, says quite aptly, ‘We cannot change anything until we accept it.

Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.’ True words indeed.

Notice for all faculties

Career Development Programme

Sheila Afari

Career Awareness Talks This talks series, running from 8 to 17 April, aims to increase students’ awareness of a range of different career options. The speakers have been selected with a view to showcasing employment opportunities and sectors

which do not typically recruit graduates

through campus based programmes. The schedule of talks

is

available

from

CDP

reception

in

Hoerikwaggo.

Graduate Recruitment Programme (GRP) All students can benefit from participating in the GRP by gaining experience and knowledge of the job search process and the world of work. It is a useful opportunity to find out more about a range of different job opportunities and what you want out of your career, and what employers are seeking from graduates in general.

For junior students, the GRP is a good place to begin. For graduates, we hope that you will attend a wide range of talks to help you explore different options and make informed choices.

The GRP Handbook contains some information on job search, job applications, and selection methods, as well as some insights from graduate recruiters and UCT alumni.

Find out more from CDP reception from 21 April.

UCT CAREER DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME Hoerikwaggo, Upper Campus tel: 021 650 2497 email: careers@ched.uct.ac.za www.careers.uct.ac.za

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Opinions

Volume 67 Number 4

Letters

Media and the Constitution

THE Constitution of the Republic of South Africa guarantees freedom of the press and other media in unequivocal terms in all cases but three: Propaganda for war; incitement of imminent violence, advocacy of hatred that is based on race, ethnicity, gender or religion, and that constitutes incitement to cause harm. In addition to this eloquent codification of press freedom, this country’s legal system also offers protection to victims of untrue defamatory statements.

Because of this protection, journalists cannot publish lies which they believe will ‘lead to the maximum level of consumption by the public.’ I cannot, for example, state as fact on SABC news that Jacob Zuma spends his weekends roaming the streets of Khayelitsha, machine-gun in hand, preaching whatever he thinks people want to hear while keeping a look-out for women in short skirts and anyone willing to give him a hand-out. That would probably be defamation, so I won’t do it.

In the 3 March edition of VARSITY newspaper, an opinion was expressed that our media does not have a sense of responsibility when it comes to sen-

sitive matters. The same journalist sported the idea that a censorship body should be created to prevent unsupported claims and deliberate lies. It is ironic to me that educated, intelligent people can blindly criticise the system of free media without which their very opinions could not be distributed.

Pre-1994 government control of the media, as well as the current situation in Zimbabwe, are both excellent examples of how too much control over media can keep a corrupt few in power far past their expiration date. Our history and our Constitution dictate that the media cannot be stifled any more than absolutely necessary, and indeed other first world countries boast journalists and media bosses who level more acidic wit at their governments then most of our own newspapers and television broadcasts. Perhaps it is not a perfect system, yet it is my own personal belief that when the media in this country becomes too afraid to express criticism of government and its policies, there is cause for concern.

Tracy Hockly

Blind justice

I WAS disturbed, to put it lightly, to read Stephen Miller’s article ‘Eye for and eye?’ in the last edition of VARSITY. The death penalty has never been, nor will it ever be, an easy issue to discuss. However, there are certain realities that we have to face in South Africa. While Mr Miller is entitled to his opinion and is free to express it, I couldn’t help but wonder if he had forgotten about, or simply never heard of, the fundamental Right to Life enshrined in our Constitution?

In 2006, legendary advocate, Wim Trengrove, who effectively got the death penalty abolished in the State v Makwanyane case, spoke to the preliminary year LLB class about his arguments against it as a form of punishment. Among them was the fact that it was morally wrong, not to mention unfair to impose that sort of guilt on the people who would be directly involved in the execution of those persons convicted and sentenced to death.

He explained that, despite misconceptions, the truth is that there is no evidence to show that the

death penalty plays a role in the prevention of violent crime. In fact, quite often, it can even exacerbate the problem.

Both Mr Miller and the judges in Makwanyane recognise that there is a disparity between the law and popular opinion. However, Trengrove argues that this is as it should be, as our Constitution strives for an ideal on which we should not compromise.

It was extremely insensitive of Mr Miller to refer to the death penalty as a ‘luxury’ for South African prosecutors to resort to, and his proposition that the deaths of 39 innocent people are insignificant in ‘the grander scheme of things’ is totally unacceptable.

Mr Miller also admitted that he prescribed to the ‘an eye for an eye’ philosophy; well, Mahatma Ghandi said: ‘An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind’, and, in the case of bringing back the death penalty, it will make the whole world dead.

I WOULD like to believe that I don’t subscribe to stereotypes. I don’t believe that all black people look the same, all white people look the same, all Chinese... You get the picture. You probably guessed from my name that I’m black (duh). But I’ve realised something – something that gets me all worked up and makes me feel like standing on a building taller than the twin towers at Lower Campus and shouting: ‘Just because I’m black does not mean that I’m Xhosa!’

I feel like taking those people who greet me and speak to me in Xhosa, and sitting them down and introducing myself. I would say: ‘Hi, I’m Bombeleni (Bombi) Mavundza; I’m from Giyani (yes, it’s in South Africa) in the Limpopo Province.

No, I’m not Venda, Muvhango is over-exaggerated.

There is no place called ‘Thate’, it’s called ThateVondo, a nature reserve with a beautiful waterfall.

And I’m Tsonga/Shangaan, whichever way you want it. Ndzi vulavula Xitsonga, I speak Xitsonga (pronounced: ‘shitsonga’).’

To the cleaning lady at Middle Campus and

CPS, I am not Xhosa. To the girl who liked my Tsonga traditional shoes, I am not Zulu. And to the SRC guy I met in the elevator at the Steve Biko building, I am not Zimbabwean. I understand that this is the Western Cape, but come on.

I know this will fall on deaf ears, because CPS will come back to Baxter once again to check our locks. They will knock on my door and when I open they will have smiles of relief that it’s a black girl and say: ‘Molo sisi size apa uku,’ while I will be standing there staring blankly at their faces not understanding a word they are saying with their many clicks.

Or go to my eight o’clock tutorial in Kramer and have the lady sweeping the stairs leading to the fifth floor telling Ferdine and I, ‘Ndi qela.’ Again, we look at each other, wondering what she said. How we sigh as she departs and I turn around as if to tell her, ‘For crying out loud, I am not Xhosa!’

But I say nothing, walk away and think, ‘Argh, never mind.’

Calvin Scholtz

Making assumptions

Bombi Mavundza

Middle East conflict Tatenda Goredema

THE Middle East is a bone of contention and a mire of controversy anywhere in the world. It is a region that has been unstable for decades. The issues of religious difference and intolerance have been the main catalysts for a conflict whose effects reverberate across the world.

The question of who is in the right in the region stems from the belief that both the Israelis and the Palestinians have that it is their divine right to inhabit the area that surrounds the holy city of Jerusalem. This issue is one of the main reasons that the two sides are unable to get along and are constantly unable to find a lasting resolution that can stand the test of time. The

constant suicide bomb attacks on Israeli targets and territory inhabited by Israeli citizens has in turn led to the targeted bombings of Palestinian targets by the Israeli army and intelligence services.

The proliferation of violence in the region recently has endedGeorge Bush’s intentions to establish lasting peace in the region. It must be said that the occupation of Gaza by the Israelis and their treatment of the Palestinian citizens within that region is completely unacceptable, and is probably a reason why the Palestinian people feel that they need to bomb Israeli targets to highlight their plight. The killing of people, especially innocent people, is never a good or reasonable way to make a point regardless of your plight. The unwavering sup-

port that Israel has received from the United States has no doubt helped them carry on with their flawed programmes in Gaza.

I am neither for nor against either side, but I believe that in order to find a lasting solution to this problem, the Israelis must move out of Gaza and the Palestinians must acknowledge Israel as a nation and treat it as an equal neighbour. Too many lives have been lost and will be lost over this conflict and many lives will be damaged, unless both sides show a willingness to engage meaningfully and intentionally in search of establishing a region devoid of violence, and fertile for the growth and development of people who are peaceful and content.

Editorial I’ve been considering the role of the media in South Africa recently, which is awash with negative stories: Jacob Zuma, Eskom, and the disbanding of the Scorpions are just a few examples. Afro-pessimism is reaching its zenith, and the economy has taken a knock as investor confidence quivers.

The problem is that the media disseminates these stories without regard for the consequences. The media’s function is that of a watchdog, and holding government accountable. However, it has been the tendency of the media to report recklessly. Private records have been made available for public consumption, and the media gloom continually casts a pall over the economy. Political and economic analysts watch as their dire predictions become self-fulfilling prophecies.

At university level, the role of the media is to provide accurate coverage of the workings of student governance, namely the SRC. It is easy to dismiss the SRC as being inconsequential. Here at UCT, most students don’t have a clue about how student governance structures work.

Individual SRC members may falter, thereby tarnishing the name of the entire SRC. For instance when a member gets arrested, as has happened last week, the collective SRC is branded. VARSITY will cover individual screw ups with vigour, yet at the same time, this coverage perpetuates the perception that the entire SRC is corrupt or incompetent.

The underlying problem is communication. Many students remain oblivious to what the SRC can do for them. Take the SRC assistance fund: This fund has been set up to help with ‘throughput,’ that is, getting academically eligible students to graduate. The initiative is commendable, yet not widely known. This is partly due to the fact that the application criteria have not yet been adopted. The provisional criteria for applying to the fund will either be adopted or amended today by the Undergraduate Funding Committee. In the meantime, discouraged students who are not on financial aid should know that relief could be at hand.

SRC members, who have worked hard, can redeem themselves in the eyes of students when we publish the SRC report card later on this year. Yet this is retrospective. Students should know that there are capable, hard-working members who take their mandate seriously.

We should therefore not dismiss the SRC in its entirety.

On a different note, don’t get your hopes up with regard to the front-page article suggesting the construction of a new parking lot.

We decided to callously and cruelly mislead you. Finding parking on campus will remain a spectator sport as students maul for parking space.

Enjoy the edition Nabeelah

news gathering

next newsgathering 3 April, in Leslie Social Science, during Meridian

2008 collective editor Nabeelah Martin, deputy editor Kieran Duggan, chief sub editor Philippa Levenberg sub editors Jade Cooke, Maciek Dubla, Dianne Shelton, operations manager Melissa Rassie, dtp editor Natasha Mayet, images Justin Andrews & Martin Wilson news Zerene Haddad & Tatenda Goredema, focus Seamus Duggan & Nicole Jonklass business & technology Karl Thomson, opinions Tara Leverton, features Kate Collins arts & entertainment Lara Potgieter, humour Anton Taylor, sports Rory Holmes & Lindi Brownell finance & advertising team Philip Voget & Kimberly Urbaniak, marketing & brand manager Lauren Haller, marketing team Danielle Gordon IT manager Timothy Nchabaleng, website editor Emma Nherera, media school director Joy Waddel staff writers Julie Atmore, Erin Bates, David Brits, Lydia DePillis, Mandy Freeman, Danielle Gordon, Laing Lourens, Megan Lyons, Bianca Meyjes, Rémy Ngamije, Kayshinee Rye Ramchurn external contributors M Irfaan Imamdin, Alessandro Rossi, Leanne Jansen, Sheila Afari, Sinenhlanhla Sithomo, Kevin Hoole, Nicholas Duminy

erratum In the last edition, VARSITY incorrectly stated that Jerome September is the Head of the Department of Student Affairs. He is in fact the Manager of Student Governance and Leadership. Moonira Khan is the Executive Director of the DSA. VARSITY apologises for the error. tel 021 650 3543 fax 021 650 2904 email varsitynewspaper@gmail.com location 5th Floor, Steve Biko Student Union Building, Upper Campus advertising email Phil Voget on bosvark23@yahoo.com or fax him on 021 650 2904. Rates and other information available upon request.

disclaimer The Varsity Opinions section is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the University or other interested parties. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the Varsity Collective. The Opinions Editor reserves the right to edit or shorten letters. Letters should include the name and telephone number of the writer, and must be received by 5 pm on the Wednesday before publication. They should not exceed 350 words, and will not be published under a pseudonym, or anonymously.

Varsity

The rubber bullets of justice

Cannibal Salad

The sexy side of lead Tara Leverton

proportion,’ at which point several members of the press sniggered.

This is only the latest in a spate of related disasters. In March, the company was forced to recall over 3,000 ribbed vibrators, following over a hundred hospitalisations and complaints that the ribs were sharp enough to ‘rend flesh.’ Only six months prior, it was forced to withdraw a line of ‘Helen Zille fetish gear,’ after three Snotti & Sel employees were found guilty of crimes against humanity.

When asked for an opinion on the crisis, a UCT Humanities student replied that he ‘didn’t really watch the news so much…so goddamn depressing, y’know?’

‘Congratulations. Your penis is probably shrivelling as we speak.’

‘That’s for goddamn sure,’ he muttered, and walked away.

‘It is as Tito Mboweni has said,’ replied an Economics student. ‘We must all tighten our belts. Even if they are only belts purchased from Teazers. And don’t come in genuine leather.

And aren’t available at a discount with a free rubber mask thrown in for the first ten customers.’

At this point, the student in question descended into tears and furious cursing, and would not be questioned further.

‘It is true,’ said Health Minister Mshabalala-Msimang, ‘that we have taken 100 blow-up dolls and various other implements of sexual depravity out of the public’s eyesight. It is for their own good.

The people must realise that their government knows what is best for them.’

The President himself has already told you people; ‘we have no reason to believe that lead poisoning causes brain damage.’

Now, you must excuse me. Deputy Minister Kevin and I have to go discuss…beetroot. Yes. Beetroot.’

It is disappointing to think that our Ministers are preoccupied with vegetables, when their attentions would, perhaps, be better focused on the needs of their ere…electorate.

(As an aside; I am lying to you.

Dreadful, dreadful lies. Happy April, you disgusting bastards.)

Photo courtesy of islandream.com

UPON reading with some concern the recent reports of lead found in South African sex toys, one began to wonder if this whole business was not, perhaps, China’s clever way of getting rid of the rest of the world altogether before they come and conquer us.

But apparently the offending merchandise has turned out to be produced locally; already, Mbeki’s supporters and Zuma’s supporters alike are busy accusing one another of sperm warfare.

David Aglisnotti, CEO of Snotti & Sel, and rumoured to have been the mastermind behind stapling all those condoms to information brochures in 1999, spoke to the press on Wednesday.

‘We see no problem here.

Snotti & Sel has a long history of producing quality adult entertainment endorsed by the Health Minister herself. Furthermore, the allegations that our Inflatable Kevins have induced brain damage in eight varsity students are completely fabricated.’

He went on to accuse the media of ‘blowing things out of

5

Octopinions

TURN AWAY FROM THIS VILLAGE OF SIN: Thaumoctopus Mimicus wants your blood.

Tibet in 20 seconds

Sinenhlanhla Sithomo SADLY, the exposure of the UFS race video took a lot of attention away from the Mangosuthu University of Technology protest and the implications it had for students. Like many other university protests, the basis was the conflict of views between students and management. The students’ concerns ranged from denial of visitors at the residences to inadequate lecturers and buses. The most serious grievances aired were financial exclusions and the denial of residence to many students who had already paid deposits.

What is worrying is the way the management and SRC handled matters. Two of the SRC members were reported to have hose-piped their very own lecture theatres to demonstrate their frustration. Management eventually decided (unilaterally, indeed) that the University had to shut down and that everyone deregistered.

Amidst all that, the Department of Education had to say it had ‘faith that the students and management would reach a compromise.’

Is that all? This is the department that watched as Vaal University of Technology missed close to a month of learning last year; while the Durban University of Technology and University of Johannesburg closed for a week earlier this year. The less said about the department the better.

The students do tend to get aggressive during protests. But for how long has it been a policy that the security personnel are allowed to fire handguns? Well, at ManUT they did. And the following day, the police released teargas and fired rubber bullets at students who were running wild into the nearby Umlazi Township, where most of them reside. While the police were raiding the Stellenbosch student pubs that Friday night, about 125 students were in agony somewhere on cell floors, nursing the rubber bullet and sjambok wounds. Three students lay in Prince Mshiyeni Hospital, one of them sustaining serious spinal injury. Honestly,

UCT’s moneymaking scheme

Seamus Duggan reviews the historical tribulations of Tibet

Sheila Afari

THE world has not done Tibet any favours. For the past 100 years or so, Tibet has been treated like a rag doll whose only purpose is to amuse a pack of savage hounds.

The first bite came in the form of British imperialism. Having already spread their empire to India, the British saw Tibet as a path they could follow to get to China – a nation with whom they wanted to trade. In 1906, Britain and China signed a treaty that acknowledged Tibet as a region with limited control over foreign policy, but who were ultimately accountable to Chinese authorities.

The temptation to spread their own empire grew too great for the Chinese, who went on to achieve total control of Tibet through force. Thankfully for Tibet, the Han presence did not last long and following the Chinese revolution, the region regained its independence.

Forty years later, the dogs of war were reawakened. Chinese forces overcame those of Tibet

UCT is arguably the best university in Africa, so it makes sense that we pay high fees. We have highly qualified lecturers, state of the art equipment in lecture theatres and labs, adequate housing and… edible food.

However, if you take a closer look at the UCT calendar over the years, you will notice that the academic year gets shorter and shorter – yet our fees keep increasing. Yes, there is inflation and the increasing cost of living to be considered, but surely we are not the only people subjected to such matters. So why does it seem that UCT’s fees are the only ones sky-rocketing? If there are fewer lectures each year then it is highly unlikely that the lecturers are getting paid that much more for less teaching time, so one has to wonder exactly where our money is going.

Then there is the ‘72 hour rule’. It was put in place, apparently, to prevent students that are finished with their exams from disturbing those that are still writing. Ironically, it serves to pro-

and the ‘roof of the world’ was stripped of its sovereignty. While this was happening, the United Nations and the international community sat back and rejected the Dalai Lama’s call for help.

Since coming under communist administration, Tibet has been forgotten by all, except exiles and the occasional student looking for a cause. The campaign was reinvigorated for a few weeks after the release of the movie Seven Years in Tibet starring Brad Pitt, but like all popular fads it faded into vague obscurity.

Recently, there has been an increase in ‘Free Tibet’ campaigns and international leaders have even been so bold as to encourage dialogue between the Tibetan government in exile, headed by the Dalai Lama, and the Chinese government.

These calls for talks come on the back of a period of violent protests by Tibetan monks and citizens. The timing of the protests is no coincidence. With the Beijing Olympics fast approach-

ing, activists are seeking to catch the attention of the world before apathy takes hold and the international community once more turns a blind eye to the daily strife of Tibetans.

Some heads of state have threatened to boycott the opening ceremony of the Olympics, undoubtedly in an effort to improve their own image, but the general consensus seems to be that sports should not be mixed with politics. It is more than likely that the competition will come and go, leaving the situation in Tibet exactly the same as it was 50 years ago and exactly as it will continue to be for the next 50 years.

If people genuinely gave a damn about what was happening in Tibet, then perhaps they wouldn’t need a sports competition to motivate them into some sort of action. At this rate, Tibet will be the plaything of political dogs for a while to come.

Isn’t apathy a bitch.

nowadays it seems like a norm that goes unchallenged for the police to be excessively violent against protesting students, across the country.

Have students become the number one public enemy? The police never get this fired up when COSATU and affiliated unions protest. They certainly weren’t when the security guards were throwing people out of moving trains during the 2006 strike. We did not hear of any security guards being shot twice in the face. The students need to stand up against this. The line has to be drawn between police assertiveness and brutality.

On the ManUT issues between management and SRC, it only leaves one to speculate what would happen to our very own if there were to be a change of guard in the student council. According to IFP Youth Brigade, the management, led by Vice-Chancellor and ANC member, Prof. Aaron Ndlovu, did its best not to work together with SADESMO-lead SRC. SADESMO is the Youth Brigade’s student wing that won 75% of the seats in last year’s SRC elections, which left SASCO wondering what happened.

After the shutting down of ManUT, the whole SRC got expelled, and then reinstated by the mighty Vice-Chancellor, who seemed to be enjoying the magic stick.

Really, in this day and age, how does university management get to stick its nose so deeply into student politics? Sympathy just has to go out to these students who, on one side, have management crapping all over them and on the other, have a confused (and now divided) SRC. And then somewhere in the mix are the police, ‘trying to do their job.’

In the name of education, ManUT students just have to limp to the nearest rank to catch a taxi to campus. Hopefully there is a venue dry enough for some thirdyear accounting self-study!

mote squatting with the students that are still writing, which is more of a disturbance in my opinion. No one wants to rush off home if they finished their exams in the first week. They feel cheated out of accommodation and food because, like everyone else, they paid the full price for the year. Again, one needs to wonder where all the extra money goes to, as Sechaba starts cooking less but no one gets refunded any money.

But, as with all institutions, you cannot fight the system and before you know it, you are kicked out and on the next bus home. You end up twiddling your thumbs for weeks before any of the other universities close and your friends come home. The boredom is probably even worse at the beginning of the year when all your friends leave to their various universities and you are still stuck at home because UCT only opens midFebruary. We are the last to open and the first to close, meaning we have the shortest university term in South Africa yet we have the highest fees. Quite a brilliant money-making scheme.

6

features

Volume 67 Number 4

Winter unRevolving Doors David Brits reflects on the harsh realities of prison wonderland A few days ago I told my father that I was writing this article, which was meant to be an opinion piece commenting on the Minister of Correctional Services, Ngconde Balfour’s address to the National Council of Provinces in early March.

We were lying next to one another on our beds in our upcountry Easter Weekend chalet.

The afternoon was sticky and the newspaper in my father’s hands folded like cloth. As we spoke I related to him some of the things I had come across in my subsequent research of South African prisons, specifically Pollsmoor. I gave him a romanticised account of what

I knew of incarceration – some gripping trivia based on a book I found in the library. I smiled at him, proud of my fact-filled monologue.

‘Pollsmoor is a terrible place,’ he said. He did not smile back.

Pollsmoor is a terrible place.

It was something that I understood, even knew, but relating to what my dad said at an experiential level was beyond me.

I remember the scratches in the linoleum of the grey visiting tables; the starched white kaffiyehs of the Muslim men; the oily hamburgers we ate for lunch; the gifts of matchstick houses in the hands of other relatives; the sunlight catching the varnish of newly crafted model ships; their paper mainsails. I have the smell of my father’s crisp white shirt in my nostrils as I hug at his waist. His beard pricks my face as he kisses me hello. He is wearing brown pants – I don’t recognise them.

Nor do I recognise the ten other men in the grubby room; also dressed in brown, also with their families. That was 12 years ago.

As we lie in the Easter heat, my dad describes Pollsmoor as a revolving door. ‘There’s no correction in the Correctional Services,’ he says despairingly, ‘it’s just prison.’

What he goes on to describe is a sordid place: an institution controlled by the tyrants it is meant to rehabilitate, and run by wardens but a few social rungs higher. For the first time my dad tells me the tale of his brief friendship with the Sharkfin Murderer; the day he saw the Station Strangler in the laundry department; and how he twice escaped being killed.

As I lay on my bed listening to his story, I smiled. This was the first time that I had really got my dad’s experience of his six years in prison. In that afternoon heat, we connected in a way that I had never experienced before. It was a tangible closeness that I never thought possible. I had spent the last 12 years trying to undo what already had been done, and in our conversation my father and I could just be with the past – we lay with it, we danced with it.

Rémy Ngamije Since I was tottering in Huggies and Pampers, there are two childhood myths that seem to have flown me by. The first is that a tutu-wearing fairy breaks into bedrooms and exchanges rotten molars with money, the second is that, at Christmas, a fat, sled-riding, red-clad, night-delivery man sneakily scales down chimneys and puts presents under Christmas trees. In both cases however, I was solely disappointed because, firstly, my teeth were too decayed for any viable exchange rate and, secondly, Santa Claus does not deliver in Africa, despite numerous letters neatly addressed to the North Pole.

Perhaps this is because, in Africa, we do not take kindly to people entering our houses without permission, whatever their intention.

Or perhaps because simple Santa is baffled by the mystery that is African children; we are neither naughty nor nice, we are tough.

Resilient as we are though, there is one chocolatey-marshmallow treat that we cannot resist: the Easter Egg. Cadbury, Beacon and Lindt are some of the popular brands that cement the commercial legend that chocolate Easter eggs, Easter bunnies and other money-spinning products are the only way to truly celebrate one of the most religious events in the Christian calendar.

Children are no longer woken up

Photo Courtesy of herbsociety-stu.org

Egg-straordinary Easter

Home-made Eggs - Avoid the commercial opportunism of Easter on Easter Sunday by the ringing of church bells announcing the Easter Miracle. Instead they spring out of bed, ready to hunt for colourful, chocolate eggs hidden by a basket-wielding rabbit.

Easter, it seems, has undergone many transformations.

Easter, officially, marks the end of Lent, the forty-day period in which Christians are urged to sacrifice something dear to them (I chose lectures). It follows Good Friday, the day on which Jesus Christ was crucified, and celebrates the Resurrection of Christ from the dead, a symbol of the triumph that Life ultimately has over Death. Easter was originally observed by a candle-lit vigil

on Good Saturday, and then joyously announced by the ringing of bells on Sunday to bring an end to the sacrificing and fasting.

However, along with many other religious holidays, Easter has been influenced by commercial ideologies, which exploit their religious aspects to generate money.

Enter the Easter Bunny. Often perceived by theologians as a means to lighten the idea of death that precedes the holiday, it has taken on its own identity, twitching ears and all. The Easter Bunny is now a mainstream icon, a commercial entity with its very own cult following to rival Halloween, Diwali, Christmas and the Chinese New Year. Chocolate companies have reported that revenues from the sale of products bearing the Easter Bunny motif double, and sometimes triple, those earned from Valentine’s Day. For retailing businesses, Easter is a profitable method in which to close the first quarter of the business year. For most, the Easter holidays are viewed as a welcome intermission to the frenetic start of the New Year, a chance to relax and visit family members, or simply take a break from late assignments, tutorials and Vula. In the meantime 22 marshmallow eggs and 14 chocolate rabbits will keep me content until the next assignment is due.

Barbarism on campus Sheila Afari

THE transition from high school to university is said to be a huge one. Lots of adjusting needs to be done and students are forced to leave childlike behaviour behind and grow up quickly. You would then expect that university students would be courteous and have respect for their lecturers but unfortunately that is not the case. More and more lecturers are complaining about the bad, disrespectful behaviour of students

during lectures. I have sat in some interesting lectures when I began to wonder if I was in the right venue or if I had stumbled into a circus rehearsal. I have been in lectures where students have talked non-stop whilst the lecturer was trying to teach, where they have answered their cell phones like they were sitting at home in front of the television by themselves, have thrown paper planes from one side of the lecture theatre to the other, made out like they were being paid, mimicked the

lecturer every time she turned her back, walked into the lecture in a huge group when there’s only 15 minutes left and, when asked why they were late, answered nonchalantly that they had been watching the performances on Jammie.

What took the cake was one guy making baboon sounds from the back of the lecture theatre, for no apparent reason. Is this what the “cream of the crop” of South African students has become?

This behaviour is totally barbaric and uncalled for.

Leanne Jansen

Photo Courtesy of commons.wikimedia.org

I REMEMBER the first time going to Pollsmoor as a kid. It was just before Christmas and I was eight years old. During my childhood, I had happy memories of prison; it was a place where my mom, little sister and I would go every month to see Dad. I am 20 now, and have not been inside a prison in the six years since my dad was released. Today, prison is a place that scrapes my chest like a rake.

IT will rain. It will rain so hard,

building an ark will seem a very viable option. It will be cold. It will be so cold that for a desperate, albeit fleeting, moment you will consider wetting yourself in order to keep warm. These are the weather conditions when Jack Frost resides in Cape Town and so, this sage advice I ever-so-kindly impart for anyone who is on the threshold of enduring their first winter on campus, or who barely survived the last one.

I know what you’re thinking: it cannot possibly be that calamitous. And of course, it isn’t - for those people who have Pantene hair or an XY chromosome pairing. But rest assured: romantic notions of deliriously singing in the rain and of sipping sweet, velvety hot chocolate fly right out of the window when having to sit through class looking and quivering like a wet cat.

First and foremost, do not make the grave mistake of thinking that an umbrella is any sort of rain deterrent. A wind that blows at an average of 45 knots will render this little accessory a mere lightning rod with a few scraps of material hanging on for dear life.

Making a mad dash between lecture venues will also prove futile as grapefruit-sized raindrops fall fast and furiously.

There are only four items needed to keep the body warm and the books dry: a pair of Wellingtons, a flask (no not a decanter), a leather bag and a gratingly loud alarm clock. The boots will enable you to saunter through the largest of puddles, and beverages kept piping hot in a flask will thaw you from the inside out. A leather bag means no more having to put hairdryer to damp paper. Finally, an alarm clock will ensure that you get up from under your downfilled duvet early enough to secure a parking space mercifully close to the great indoors. I once witnessed a group of women disembark from an airplane with towels and garish plastic shopping bags secured over their heads to protect their hair from rainy weather. Although I firmly believe that a woman’s crowning glory should be sheltered at all costs, a rain coat would suffice - a transparent one if you shudder at the thought of hiding a perfectly coordinated outfit

MMM - Keep the hot chocolate coming beneath it.

All things considered, every thunder cloud has a little platinum lining. Winter food definitely provides the most deliciously satisfying consolation: thick soup, hearty stews and a veritable smorgasbord of carbohydrates. The only thing students love more than food is a party, and bidding the season of sunshine and good times adieu is a great excuse to throw one, a kind of festive swan song before migrating to the library for six months.

Perhaps in a moment of madness you’ll berate yourself for not going to school in Johannesburg where it rains a lot less during winter. At a certain tertiary institution there all the departmental offices and lecture theatres are housed under one roof. The grey concrete walls may be as imposing as Pollsmoor in the summer but they are pretty darn great at protecting students from the elements during winter. Despite this, I think that most of us would rather turn blue than swap UCT for any other.

So, if every member of the opposite sex begins to look increasingly attractive, not because you’re cosied up to Mr Cuervo but because cosying up to them provides precious body heat, and you come within a hair’s breadth of suspending your studies and attending summer school, you know the seasons are changing. Don’t worry, you’re now well prepared.

FLOWER POWER Join the Botanical Society and get FREE entry to Kirstenbosch, discounts on concert tickets ... and help save the planet

Special student rate of R150 a year.

021 797 2090 info@botanicalsociety.org.za www.botanicalsociety.org.za

Varsity

Arts & Entertainment

7

Hey hipsters, we like your style

Photos by Justin Andrews & Simon Page

VARSITY spotted the cool kids on campus

Displaying design UCT RAG &

Old Mutual present

5 April 2008 5pm to 7pm Kirstenbosch Garden

Biblioteq - Cape Town’s creative library

a large chunk of the multi-faceted business, building creative libraries for educational facilities and businesses is one of Biblioteq’s most exciting portfolios. Including specially-sourced international and local publications, these libraries are exclusive creations intended to provide university-goers, advertisers, learners and designers with an extensive and exciting source of inspiration and reference.

Richard Cock & UCT Symphony Orchestra, Plush, Bala Brothers and The Single Track Launch R35 Student R60 Adults R65 Computicket Win picnic hampers!

Go to www.uctrag.com Tickets available at Computicket, UCT RAG office and Kirstenbosch.

JB13579

‘... it has shrunk the creative gap between us and the world.’

The book store’s window space is a glass plane in constant colourful flux. It currently features the vibrant Dotmatic 5000 window design by the hot local illustration studio am i collective. The commission spurned a citywide competition where members of the public could buy their own Dotmatic Kit at Biblioteq to create designs based on the idea of the circle as a building block of colour and shape, and competed for a handsome prize.

Biblioteq really is a book shop apart from the rest. Although a young project, the brand is already iconic. What it has done for continual expansion of creative expression in our city is remarkable; it has shrunk the creative gap between us and the world.

So if you like to shop cheap and see your reflection at the same time, I highly recommend a peek through the dotty window of Biblioteq. Pop inside, do some book-browsing, and prepare to be inspired.

03.2008

design objects and art. Passionate about the local design and art industry, Biblioteq has recently played host to a number of successful art exhibitions, book launches and design competitions.

Although book retail counts for

Greenroom

IT WAS a hot summer’s day in the city bowl. The tar simmered in the midday sun as I trudged to the nearby Spar for a juice.

I am very partial to windowshopping – mostly because it’s cheap and I get to see my reflection too. So, I decided to take a little longer than usual to make the sweaty pilgrimage back to my painting studio at Hiddingh to indulge in this pleasure.

I also like books a lot. I like book shops even better. So needless to say that my day was made when, about two minutes into my window-shopping spree, I stumbled upon Biblioteq – Cape Town’s contemporary equivalent to the Library of Alexandria, Egypt.

Specialising in visually fantastic reference books, Biblioteq is couched in the Mother City’s hottest strip of café-couture – Kloof Street. The area is a hot spot for creativistas the city over and it’s no surprise that the hip store has taken up rank here. The exclusive and trendy Biblioteq features impressive volumes of photographic, design and décor books, a fine array of limited edition artist prints, contemporary photography and local design products.

According to the brainchild of its creatively-dynamic owner, Rotem Shachar, Biblioteq was conceived upon her return to South Africa after a period working in New York’s advertising underworld. Book-browsing was one of the things she missed most about the Big Apple, so Rotem decided to bring the concept of the creative library to Cape Town.

Biblioteq is the honey-dripping, chocolicious result.

Biblioteq’s unique access to an incredible variety of international publishing houses, curators, art dealers and other resources means that it is home to some of the world’s most desirable books,

Photo Courtesy of Rotem Shachar

David Brits

8

Arts & Entertainment

On The Tutus come to town What’s April…

I KNOW this scene so well.

Kitted out in my black skinny jeans, Strokes t-shirt, worn-out Chuck Taylors and dead-straight jet-black hair, I enter the warehouse-come-alternative music venue, The Assembly, where I frequently meet with all the other ‘non-conforming’, ‘individual’ mutineers of mainstream society who look just like me. I wade through the black mass as fast as my tightly-clad legs can take me and assume my usual position of centre forward – a position which allows me the privilege of gazing straight up into the nostrils of the great god who is about to transport me on a serious musical mission.

Emo-fringe adjusted, fuck-theworld expression in place, and I am ready.

However, I am clearly not at all ready for what is to come. ‘YO!’ screams the t-shirt of the lanky frontman, who does a virtual long jump onto the stage and trips over the microphone stand, as well as the drummer, who stumbles into place. Another fumbling character then appears in an outfit of skinny jeans (black, of course) paired with a ‘jockish’ muscle vest and Nike trainers that lead me to believe that he is experiencing a dreadful identity crisis. As for the fourth guy, his baggies and plain t-shirt would’ve warranted possible exclusion from the venue, had he not been in the band. I am wary. Grudgingly, however, I stick around in the hope that their music might redeem them.

What graces my ears, however, is not redemption. It is salvation.

Photos courtesy of myspace.com

Lara Potgieter receives an invaluable sermon from Pretoria-based band, Desmond and the Tutus, during their recent Cape tour

1 – 5: Ennio Marchetto @ Theatre on the Bay Catch ‘The Living Cartoon’.

1 – 5: Minette Vari @ Goodman Gallery Cape An exhibition which includes new multiple screen video projections and works on paper and examines ‘the discomfort and desires at the heart of personal, political and historical narratives.’

1 – 12: Come Fly with Me @ Kalk Bay Theatre A tribute to the music of Frank Sinatra.

YO! - Frontman Shane begins with a bang Is that really a tuneful melody I hear? Am I just imagining the well-constructed solos and catchy riffs of the guitarist whom I pitied moments earlier? Does that lanky guy really sound like the singer of Kings of Leon? Why can’t I stop this involuntary, incessant foottapping? Dear friends, I would argue that these boys have powers holier than the Archbishop to which they owe their name. They manage to convert their congregation of image-obsessed indie kids by replacing the cacophony of screaming vocals, basic beats and indistinct, abrasive chordal accompaniment that we have grown used to in many live local performances – with the holy bread of catchy, distinct melodic material, infinitely diverse basslines and beats so

addictive you can’t stop yourself from mimicking them like a onelegged rabbit on steroids.

Instead of marching through my ‘serious musical mission’, I end up flying in a brightlycoloured time capsule that whizzes me from 50s rock ‘n roll to Michael Jackson to house music in a delightful fusion of indie rock, dance and kwela that forces me to forget about any image concerns or dance etiquette.

Despite its seemingly shaky start and technical difficulties, the gig turns out to be my most memorable yet. A big shiny gold star for the goofy guys from Pretoria who came and turned the pretentious Cape Town indie crowd into a crazy mob of kids doing the peacock dance to a cowbell solo.

Photos courtesy of cokefest.co.za

Lindi Brownell

Good charlotte - Exemplify lifestyles of the rich and the famous formance, but in their interaction with the crowd. Other than that, their energetic renditions of the well-known songs ‘Angry Mob’ and ‘Ruby’ certainly had the crowd jumping.

Good Charlotte nearly out-performed all of the bands. Not only was their stage presence spectacular, but they sounded fantastic too.

Legendary artist, Chris Cornell, delighted fans when he sang Soundgarden’s greatest hit ‘Black Hole Sun’ as well as many celebrated Audioslave favourites. His distinctive voice, together with a powerful performance made Chris Cornell’s set flawless.

The anticipation for Muse to perform certainly paid off. Fans went wild when Matthew Bellamy launched into the songs ‘Knights of Cydonia’ and ‘Time is Running Out’. They’re not voted Best Live

Act almost every year for nothing.

Only one word can describe Korn live: Insane. It was an honour to watch such an esteemed rock band. The feeling was clearly mutual as Korn’s Jonathan Davis, while running up and down the stage in his black leather kilt, reiterated how proud he was to be performing in Cape Town. During their prolonged show, ‘Freak on a Leash’ and ‘Evolution’ brought out complete madness in the mosh pits.

Yes, the queues for food were over an hour long, the bathrooms were predictably disgusting and you could barely move, as there were so many people. And even though sun and wind combined left around 30,000 people burnt and covered in dust, no one really cared – we were at the greatest rock festival in the country.

4: Fokofpolisiekar, aKING, Van Coke Kartel and Mischif video premiere @ Assembly The award-winning rock band Fokofpolisiekar will be playing with its spawn, aKING and Van Coke Kartel at the Vestal watch launch party.

4: Killer Robot presents Ectomorph @ Fiction A night of spaced-out techno from Detroit.

5: RAG Summer Concert @ Kirstenbosch The Singletrack, winners of the UCT Launch Your Band Competition 2008, will be performing alongside the UCT Symphony Orchestra, Bala Brothers and Plush.

1 – 18: Upstairs/Downstairs @ AVA An exploration of how ‘contemporary art and life are defined by a constant sense of flux.’

6: Louis Carver @ Kirstenbosch The Cape Town based singer/ songwriter and pianist will be performing at an Old Mutual Summer Sunset Concert.

1 – 19: Prodigal @ The Intimate Theatre A moving modern age theatre classic about a young Eastern Cape farm boy’s search for fortune in Johannesburg.

8: UCT Symphony Concert @ Baxter Concert Hall The Rolf-Stefan UCT Symphony concert will feature Richard Cock as conductor and Olga Rademan as piano soloist.

1 – 19: Raiders – Rasputin’s Triangle @ Sanlam Studio, Baxter Theatre Centre The eighteenth installment of the hilarious Raiders series.

11: Unit R album launch @ Assembly Catch the electronica sensation in action.

1 – 26: Nicholas Hlobo @ Michael Stevenson Contemporary An exhibition titled Kwatsityw’iziko (‘Crossing the hearth’), which features drawings and sculptures.

3: Wordsworth (USA), Ben Sharpa, DJ Raiko and DJ Big Dre @ Assembly Two lyrical emcees and guest DJs not to be missed.

Coke Fest brings rock’s best NINE bands, twelve hours and non-stop rocking – MyCokeFest 2008.

The show hit off early with a taste of Cape Town’s finest, Shy Guevaras. Frontman Gareth Vorster commanded the stage and showed the unknowing early birds what to expect from South African rock. The early start left Shy Guevaras performing to a half capacity crowd and also led to thousands of people missing the first act.

Next up were Afrikaans rockers, Van Coke Kartel. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but the band is undeniably popular, as fans clearly seemed to enjoy Francois Van Coke’s raucous performance.

Last of the SA music, was esteemed rockers Prime Circle.

Lead singer, Ross Learmonth, had the fans cheering loud and proud for local music with tracks including ‘Live This Life’ and ‘Hello’.

It’s a pity that the organisers rushed through the South African artists so quickly; it seemed as though they were treated as opening acts and not bands performing in their own right.

On the international front, 30 Seconds to Mars was everything and more. Jared Leto captured the crowd’s attention with not only the band’s most famous hits, but with his non-stop swearing and his appeal with the ladies. For the genuine 30 Seconds to Mars fans, the real bonus was Leto’s acoustic versions of the band’s early tracks and getting the opportunity to meet the band after their set.

Kaiser Chiefs were a little bit disappointing, not in their per-

1 – 4: Jeremy Purén @ blank projects An evolving installation aimed at presenting the ‘manifestation of an artistic attitude.’

Volume 67 Number 4

11: Andre van der Walt, New Altum, Yes Sir! Mr Machine and The 32 Battalion @ ROAR Pretoria experimentalists & MK award winners Andre Van Der Walt headline this awesome Ghosthunter party 11: KOBUS! @ Mercury Another SA rock band in action.

No wallflowers Lindi Brownell

SHY Guevaras are arguably one of the best South African alternative rock outfits to have hit the stage in a long time. Having had the opportunity to watch them perform recently, I feel confident in saying that this band is looking to be unstoppable. With charttopping hits, energetic live performances, the band has a sound unique to South African rock. Led by charismatic frontman, Gareth Voster, Shy Guevaras came into being in 2005 and released their debut album, We Owe You One, last year. With rip-roaring songs like ‘Talking Loud’, ‘Further Seems Forever’ and ‘Overload’ combined with soothing track ‘No Clue’, this ten-track compilation has the potential to be one of the greatest rock albums to come out of this country.

Zula Bar’s backroom is cramped, to say the very least.

Colourful writing lines the walls, and music from the bar rings out through the open door. But all this is barely noticeable once the interview begins. I speak to Gareth and lead guitarist, Stuart Scott, about whether they anticipated the success that they have had so far.

Gareth answers matter-of-factly, ‘I wouldn’t call it success. Getting to the top of one rock chart is a small indication that we’re on the right track. It’s very much the beginning.’ Stuart agrees, but adds, ‘It’s a bit of success in its own right; all these little successes will accu-

mulate into a big success.’ When asked about their biggest challenge so far, both musicians agree that being a band in South Africa and finding their own sound have both been difficult obstacles to overcome.

Although they work hard, Shy Guevaras are all about having fun and making good music. Justin Barnard, the latest addition to the rocking quartet, has been described as being the most mischievous member of the band. He strongly denies this claim and laughs, ‘I just get blamed for everything because I’m the new guy!’

Known for their motto, ‘We want to be revolutionary, but we’re a bit shy’, Stuart is quick to point out what they mean. ‘We don’t want to be revolutionary from a music point of view, we’re revolutionary in the sense that we’re trying to do things a little bit differently.’ Gareth jokes and says, ‘If you come and see us live, you’ll know that it’s tongue-incheek because we’re anything but shy!’

If you want to support local rock and watch a highly energetic and quality performance, don’t overlook Shy Guevaras. It had been four hours since I’d arrived, and after much anticipation, it was all worth it. Combining the energy that Gareth brings to the stage with Stuart on guitar, Justin on bass and Sergio Barbosa on drums, it makes this band a real force to be reckoned with.

Varsity

business

&technology

AS CHINA emerges as the world’s new super power, its appetite for resources has been growing at an exponential rate. Over the past few years, the need for raw materials to fuel the economic phenomenon has left China facing a number of problems: The first of these is who they decide to trade with. Whilst much of the international community pours scorn on nations such as Sudan for their poor human rights record and refuse to engage in open trade unless there is a process of democratisation, China has declared that it will not interfere in the sovereignty of other states. The Chinese are therefore open to doing business with many states that have previously been shunned.

Sudan and the rest of Africa provide China with a perfect opportunity to get its hands on the natural resources that it needs, and as far as these nations are concerned it is a win-win situation. They are finally receiving foreign investment. Whether this money is used to build the economy or fill the coffers of war, it is for the most part irrelevant to the Chinese. Although, they will be fully aware that it is in their interests to promote a stable environment to ensure future transactions.

The need for resources is so great that China often uses its political power in the United Nations to prevent what it perceives as negative resolutions against their trading partners. Nowhere has this been more evident than in their protection of the military junta dictating Myanmar. The Chinese have done their utmost to prevent sanctions and embargoes being placed on their controversial neighbours. The result of this has been a comparison of China’s own human rights record and questions over its moral conscience.

To what extent these factors influence China’s future decisions with regards to trade agreements is

Photo Courtesy cmiper.com

Fueling the Chinese juggernaut Oil & gold price Seamus Duggan looks at the chink in China’s armour boom

Beautiful and Deadly - Oil has been at the center of controversy for over a century RÉmy Ngamije

Unhealthy - Rapid industrial expansion has its pitfalls debatable.

Consuming vast amounts of resources for production has consequences that strike a lot closer to home for the Chinese. The deteriorating state of the environment has only recently been recognised in Beijing as a serious problem that could hinder the country’s future endeavors.

Not only are the citizens forced to wear protective masks in the urban areas, but also, with the 2008 Beijing Olympics approaching, many athletes are voicing their concern over air pollution.

Ethiopian marathon champion, Haile Gebrselassie, stated that he would not ‘commit suicide’ by competing in China.

The effects of top athletes pulling out of the competition may have severe repercussions for investment in China.

The Olympics might also be used as a platform to criticise China’s involvement with non-democratic countries. Should China succumb

to the international pressure, as the world’s focus on them intensifies, and decrease trade with the less fashionable states, they will find resources hard to come by as the United States of America and the European Union already control the majority of international trade. This includes having access to the Middle East’s oil supply, something that China may become dependent on should they lose their African connections.

In the event that these partnerships are broken, China’s economy will find it increasingly difficult to maintain its current growth.

As a nation that has often been guided by realist principles, they are unlikely to shoot themselves in the foot. Pressure or no pressure, China’s dealings with autocratic, dictatorial, totalitarian and other non-democratic regimes is set to continue for as long as these regimes hold the resources that China so desperately needs.

The new way to sell music - Reznor style Karl Thomson TRENT Reznor is no stranger to thinking outside the box and stepping on toes in the process. Every album he has created took a fight with his record label to release, and most were released at overinflated prices so the record label could squeeze more money from the rabid and loyal Nine Inch Nail (NiN) fan base. Reznor was once filmed telling fans at a concert to steal his music, because he was so angry at his record label over the pricing issues.

In October 2007, his contract with Interscope expired and he chose to give them the middle finger and release everything himself. Similarly to how Radiohead released ‘In Rainbows’, Reznor first produced and released ‘The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust’ by Saul Williams (a spoken word and rap artist) online and yielded moderate success. On 1 March, he released his new album – ‘Ghosts I-IV’.

What makes this album so significant is that it would have never made it past the record label, as it’s an experimental 36-track instrumental album over two cds.

Using the ‘download for free’ model from the Saul Williams release, Reznor expanded greatly upon this concept to offer a variety of packages that would cater to

9

GOLD, the yellow treasure of kings along with oil, the ‘black gold’, have recorded their highest prices ever on stock markets around the world. With gold prices soaring to an all-time high of $1005.1 per fine ounce while oil costs $112 a barrel, investors and economy analysts alike linked the rocketing prices to a crumbling US economy. The two commodities, of which gold is seen to be the less volatile, underwent dramatic price changes over the past month before settling at $99.,3 per fine ounce and $94.07 a barrel respectively.

The undoer of many a man and one of the world’s earliest currencies, gold has long been viewed throughout history as one of the safest nest eggs to possess during troubled times. With its longevity, mass appeal, scarcity and difficult replication being its chief characteristics, gold has always been a guarantee of continued economic survival, even when all else around it crumbles. This is best seen by the gold bullion owned by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, currently valued at $242 million, the largest cache of gold in the world.

The gold price has been steadily pushed up by the continuing credit crisis in the US. As the US dollar continues to lose value, investors have made a move to secure some of their wealth in the form of gold.

The increased demand, coupled with low supply, helped to push the price of gold over the millennium mark. The low supply of the precious metal has largely been brought about by South Africa’s falling output, down 17% from last year. The decline in output from the world’s largest producer of precious metals is attributed to Eskom’s power cuts which have caused the total output of the gold

industry to be drastically reduced.

As such, the current scarcity of the metal has helped steer its price upwards, a trend industry analysts say will continue. The increase in price affects consumers negatively, with jewellery prices expected to increase by 20%.

Not to be left out of the history books, oil prices have also been on the march. Currently trading at $94.07 a barrel, the economy driving fuel is expected to reach higher prices in the near future.

The failing US economy has once again been linked to the high oil prices. The low supply of oil, a mere two million barrels a day, and the purchasing of excess oil

by China ensure that there is no shortage of prices, nor any likely decrease in prices.

The high demand has put pressure on the oil producing regions of the world; Nigeria, Venezuela, Russia, the Middle East and the Gulf of Mexico are already dealing with internal problems, to produce more oil, which they have elected to do, but at exorbitant prices.

With high oil prices, subsequently come high inflation rates, which are not only felt by developing countries but also in G7 countries, where inflation rates are at their highest in decades.

The increasing scarcity of oil has prompted more research into the viability of cheaper, nonexhaustible fuels. It is now widely acknowledged by nations that the move to industrialisation has intensified their dependency on an already scarce resource. Its increased price has woken many people, consumers and producers alike to the necessity of changing to alternative fuels.

The soaring gold and oil prices come at what is seen as a desperate time, with many of the world’s economies, South Africa among them, heading into economic recessions.

The column in the corner Karl Thomson PURE Genius- Who says creativity is dead? the causal as well as the rabid NiN fans. There is the free download of the first volume (eight tracks) in a high quality mp3 format, and then there is the $5 download of all four volumes. The rest of the releases encompasses a cd digipack, a special edition with bonus paraphernalia, and finally, a limited-to-2000-copies edition that is signed by Reznor and includes everything a NiN fan could possibly want for a staggering $300.

It sold out in four days and the album had no marketing at all.

Reznor made $1.7 million in one week of ‘Ghosts’ release.

Trent Reznor will always be

the exception to the rule in terms of music, but it must be said he has accomplished something big here.

He has proven that an artist does not need a record label to make money. Reznor and Rob Sheridan (a long time collaborator) have been very outspoken against the methods and means the record industry has employed for financial gain, so going ‘solo’ can only break the restrictive shackles he once wore and further stimulate his trip into the experimental.

‘Ghosts I’ can be found at ghosts.nin.com for free.

I HAVE always considered Apple products to be in a league of their own, and now that I have an iPod (thanks Mo) I can say it with certainty. If one simply looks at the design, we find a simplicity that combines function with a beautiful and sleek form. Look at the iPod, especially the newer models – it contains everything a person needs while not being too complicated. Apple identified a gap in the market with the very first iPod and blew the competition away, not only due to the sheer number of songs it can hold, but it also became a fashion accessory. I usually don’t care about stupid little fashion accessories that serve no purpose other than to take your money with no useful return, but

the iPod is different. It serves its purpose better than any other product on the market.

Now look at anyone who has an iMac or Mac book, do you notice that smug look they have on their face? It is there for a very good reason. Look at the design of their Mac compared to other computers or laptops of a similar price – it is an astonishing difference. While Windows machines tend to be black with all kinds of funky lights flashing around them, Macs tend to be white with a clean design. They never have anything more than they need and this makes Windows machines look ridiculous and ‘pimped’. Whoever does Apple’s design work should get a medal as it is as perfect and modern as it can possibly get.

10

humour

Are you gay?

Anton Taylor finds that you probably are IN SPITE of the beautiful liberal world that we now live in, many young men of today still struggle with their sexuality, not knowing for sure whether they are straight, gay, bi or hermaphrodite (most commonly known as emo). If only there was a definitive test, a way to know if you were gay for sure.

Well, thanks to the capitalist joy that is mass consumerism, there is a way to find out.

In the US alone, the buying power of the gay and lesbian community exceeds 700 billion, an amount which is increasing rapidly every year. Having grasped this, marketing companies now regularly release highly specific economic, social & demographic trends within the gay and lesbian community. VARSITY has crafted a scientifically precise quiz for you to take, slyly and delicately inserting the most preferred gay trend into each list of possible answers. Although each answer seems typically heterosexual, one in each question is the answer most commonly chosen by the gay community.

1. Your favourite dinner is: A) Roast chicken B) Sushi C) Fat Hard Mancock 2. Your ideal home would be: A) A large house in the suburbs B) A classy penthouse flat in the CBD C) The men’s steam room at the gym.

3. On a Saturday afternoon, you’ll most likely be found supporting: A) Sharks Rugby Side B) Bulls Rugby Side

C) Purple Triangle Ferrets Softball Team 4. You like your coffee: A) Black & strong. Like your women B) White & creaming. Like your women C) Up the ass till it squeals.

Like your men 5. After a big night out with ‘the boys’, you: A) Laugh about how you fucked up those ‘queers’ outside Tin Roof B) Buy that bitch the morning-after pill, drop her off on the side of the N2, and delete her number from your phonebook C) Reminisce over the fabulous times spent grooving at Bronx You are gay if you chose: 1: B. Sushi is currently rated the most preferred dinner option for homosexual males.

2. A. Social trends show that most gay males are shifting from urban centers to less congested urban areas. As more lesbians and gay men come out with friends, family and at work, there is less need to be hidden from others, and correspondingly less need to cluster together in traditionally more liberal urban spots.

3. A or B. Needs no explanation.

4. B. The cappuccino was recently rated as the coffee of choice for the typical gay man.

5. A. It is estimated that up to 75% of homophobic attacks are perpetrated by gay men who, through the psychological process of deflection, attack other gay men in an attempt to distance themselves from their own sexuality.

Volume 67 Number 4

ICTS makes TV debut Kevin Hoole IN A last ditch attempt to save their floundering reputation, ICTS has teamed up with American broadcasting company NBC for a series of promotional television appearances set to improve the group’s standing amongst the University of Cape Town residence students.

The falling ratings of the Information and Communication Technology Services in the eyes of almost every student has prompted the company’s leaders to attempt to re-ingratiate themselves with their clients by almost any means necessary. A mutual fondness for producing large quantities of pretty much nothing has brought NBC into the picture.

Anticipated television appearances include a three-episode stint of My Name Is ICTS, followed by

an as yet undisclosed number of How I Met Your ICTS, CSICTS: New York and ICTS Idols. The most media attention, however, is going to the whispered rumours surrounding the possible feature film, Dude, Where’s My Internet?

ICTS Acting Head Honcho Mr Fred Goldstein believes that the move will restore the company’s public image to well above what it was before its phenomenal plummet during the past few weeks. This drop, they claimed, was caused by climate change.

This rings of power or some other equally ridiculous excuse that said nothing at all about the fact that they are only marginally more efficient at what they do than a nonagenarian prostitute with smallpox. ‘That there are students without internet access is through

no negligence on our part,’ says Mr Goldmonger. ‘They are simply the victims of an unfortunate (and woeful display of titanic stupidity) and (a really quite fucking) extensive connection process (consisting largely of us sitting around doing nothing at all, unless more fresh-faced youths appear for us to violate mercilessly from behind).’

Mr Gold is further rumoured to have said, ‘Screw you, ok?’ and ‘They deserve it, anyway,’ which, although taken completely out of context, we feel would succinctly describe his attitude towards the hundreds of residence students thoroughly pissed off by ICTS’ schizophrenic Eskomnian reliability.

M IrfAan Imamadin

who have you identified to take the fall for your next inevitable fuck up? Hayibo.com has suggested it should be your domestic worker.

ESKOM: Lolz! We can’t do that, we don’t know where anything are, or how it work. Mavis took some sick days before Easter and we had to loadshed for a week!

VARSITY: Last August, Trevor Manuel charged a task team with reviewing ESKOM’S financial matters, and has recently published those findings.

ESKOM: Shweet man! Have you got a copy? I like those Stephen King-like books.

VARSITY: The report states that while ESKOM may practice Voodoo and the advice of your resident sangoma against competitors and regulators, they never have, and never will, practice accounting principles.

ESKOM: Ag, practicing a monopoly has always been easier than practicing accounting. And let’s face it, accounting are like making a mistake when counting sheep while trying to sleep, and then staying awake for three hours trying to find it.

VARSITY: But surely you need to implement accounting principles in order to draw up financial statements?

ESKOM: Listen boet, we’ve got a bank balance with more zeroes than a Bafana Bafana season. I can suggest other, darker, places for you to implement that accounting principles.

VARSITY: What results will you be publishing this quarter then?

ESKOM: Excellent results, without practicing accounting, or accountability.

Eskom answers your questions ESKOM has long since been in the dog-box with the South African public. VARSITY sat down with ESKOM CEO and spokesperson Errol Van Der Meulen, a WITS graduate, to discuss some of the issues ESKOM has been dealing with.

VARSITY: It’s been two years of public outcry against perceived inadequacies of ESKOM’s strategic management; in that time what changes have been made to the company structure?

ESKOM: We’ve looked at it, and decided to make our policies more like that of Ga-Vah-Ment ™. So in the future there are a definite scapegoat identified to be sacrificial to the public and media to distract their attentions.

VARSITY: I can see you’ve been heeding the same advice our SRC does. Just out of interest,

On the brightside..

1.Eskom provides a valid excuse for handing in essays late.

2.Power cuts are a great conversation starter with that guy/girl you like.

3.Students feel less guilty for spending electricity money on beers at starlight.

4.Fewer lectures!

5.More bonding time with Jammie stairs.

6.Gives you the opportunity to prove to your girl that you are macho and can ‘protect’ her in the dark.

7.Gives you the opportunity to act like a damsel in distress and have your man take care of you.

8.Load-shedding provides an excuse for you and your digs mates not to cook, but head down to KFC instead.

9.Helps with the weight loss/fitness plan when you are forced to use the stairs.

10.Provides grounds for complaints from student organisations as to how UCT leadership will deal with the problem.

The VARSITY Humour page is a vehicle for expression.

The views expressed in the Humour section are not necessarily those of the advertisers or staff of VARSITY newspaper, or the University of Cape Town.

So what this means is that we can say anything we want.

Anything. We can be politically incorrect, and we can even swear. Fuck. Cunt.

Varsity

11

Sports

South African sports’ new colour bar

When will it end?

Nicholas Duminy POLITICS in sport is as useful as a Bachelor of Arts degree in hieroglyphics. Forcing provincial and national sports teams to reflect South African society does not solve any of our country’s problems. Politicians are wasting their time meddling in sport, while millions of South Africans are fighting against hunger and poverty. All that these policies result in are weaker national sides and talented players of colour doubting whether or not they are in the side on merit.

Many have never quite understood the concept of transformation in sport. Selecting players based on the colour of their skin, rather than on their ability to perform, seems ludicrous. Is the main point of playing sport not to select the strongest team and try to outperform one’s opponents? Sport should not be used as a political mouthpiece for the government, as it has been in the past. The selection of all teams should be separate from government, and all political intervention in sport should come to an end. Politicians need to stick to politics and focus their attention on making South Africa a better country to work and live in.

Officials need to create policies that will facilitate the development and growth of sport with-

in rural areas and create channels whereby gifted players can enter the system. Once these policies have been implemented, thousands of players will be able to develop their skills and reach the top tiers of their games based on merit.

Many sports players have voiced their disapproval against racial policies in sport, including Chilliboy Ralepelle, who had the following to say: ‘I think the quota system has hindered the transformation process in South Africa and that only the best players should play for their country.’

Although Sports Minister Makhenkesi Stofile abolished racial quotas for national sports teams in November 2007, players are still being selected based on the colour of their skin rather than on their abilities. During his speech to the parliamentary sports committee, Stofile said, ‘Quotas were used only for window dressing for international consumption.

Let us put our resources into the development of talent.’ If quotas were abolished in November, why are teams still being forced to select players based on the colour of their skin? Is it not unfair on the players who have done nothing wrong to be dropped from a team based on their colour? Call it what you will, but selecting players based on the colour of their skin is discrimination.

SA Cricket squad in black and white Bianca Meyjes THE dropping of Andre Nel and the subsequent decision by Charl Langeveldt to withdraw from the three-test tour of India, has caused unrest in South African cricket. It is widely believed that the replacement of Nel was a bid to lift the number of black players in the touring squad. Currently, Cricket South Africa (CSA) policy requires a squad of 15 players to feature seven black players.

‘I strongly reject any allegation or insinuation of ‘political or presidential interference’ ‘The evidence of [transformation] shows that the off-field stuff does have an effect on the team,’ Captain, Graham Smith, said.

The current tour is set to decide second place on the International Cricket Council’s ranking list, behind Australia. The South African squad needs to be clear minded in order to pull off a sound performance.

In the past, leading cricket administrators have been in a constant tussle over player selection

F1: The story so far Laing Lourens AFTER an eventful 2007 season saw the top three drivers separated by one point at the end of the championship, many racing fans would have been eagerly looking forward to the start of the 2008.

With much off-season activity and rule changes, the shaping of an interesting season seems to be up ahead.

The most notable off-season transfer was the swapping of Fernando Alonso and Heikki Kovalainen. After many accusations were thrown at his team last season, Alonso was eventually released by Mclaren, as he felt he was being treated unfairly. He has since returned to his old team, Renault, where he won the 2005 and 2006 championship. With Renault not looking anywhere near as strong as in previous seasons, the Alonso threat may not be too great, but it would be foolish to discount a driver of his ability.

With Kovalainen now partnering Lewis Hamilton; Mclaren will continue to maintain a lineup of strong drivers. Giancarlo Fisichella, a 12-year veteran on the grid this year, moved to newly formed Force India team, being partnered by Adrian Sutil.

The departure of Fisichella from Renault is being filled by the arrival of Nelson Piquet Jnr, son of the former three-time world champion. After having competed strongly in the A1 and GP2 series, he looks possibly to be the Lewis Hamilton of 2008.

Some of the most interesting rule changes for the season include the banning of traction control, as well as a restriction to the number of gearboxes (one per four races). The rule changes are expected to provide a more level playing field and to help make racing more dependent on the skills

and transformation. However, it would now seem that players are finding themselves caught up in the mess.

Good teammates, Nel and Langeveldt, have both taken a united approach in firing shots at cricketing transformation policies. Langeveldt honourably protested, ‘I have fought for a place in the team but I don’t want to be put there because of my colour.’ It is believed that players both black and white want transformation to happen, but at a grassroots level.

The villain of transformation, CSA President Norman Arendse, denies all reports that he changed the national cricket squad to include Langeveldt over Nel. ‘The selectors were entirely responsible. I strongly reject any allegation or insinuation of ‘political or presidential interference.’

Meanwhile, the Parliamentary Portfolio Committee on Sport finds itself mopping up the political-sporting mess. It has submitted that merit selection should be ‘based on equal opportunity for all’ and not on quotas. This falls in line with President Thabo Mbeki and Sports Minister Makhenkesi Stofile’s requests that national teams should be chosen on merit.

The CSA has also set up a Transformation Review Committee to be chaired by East London-based attorney, John Smith. The committee will deal

of the driver.

The first race of the 2008 season took place in Australia on 17 March, and saw Hamilton take first place, followed by Nick Heidfeld for the increasingly stronger-looking BMW team. Heidfeld was followed close to the finish by Williams’ Nico Rosberg.

Alonso made impressive passes on Raikkonen and Kovalainen, but could only manage fourth place.

Pre-season favourite Raikkonen had a disappointing weekend and only managed 16th place after a technical problem in qualifying. He fought his way back up the field before an engine failure took both him and his team mate off the track. However, with only eight cars finishing the race, Raikkonen was gifted a point after Barrichello’s disqualification for

exiting the pits under a red light.

Ferrari came back strongly in Malaysia a week later, with only a driver error by Felipe Massa costing them a 1-2 finish. BMW once again finished runners up, this time with Robert Kubica. Kovalainen came 3rd and Hamilton managed 5th to maintain his championship lead. Alonso once again drove the wheels off his car, but could only manage a single point in eighth place.

Going into the third round in Bahrain on 4 April, things are very close with Hamilton only three points ahead of Raikkonen and Heidfeld. At this stage of the season it is still anyone’s game, but we can already tell that it will be between the usual suspects, as well as possibly a few dark horses.

Charl Langeveldt - amid the controversy with written and oral submissions from all parties concerned and come up with strategies to prevent further mudslinging in SA cricket.

The best cure, however, has probably already been dished out

by Langeveldt’s defiance in withdrawing from the squad. It took a rebellion from within to point out the gravity and absurdity of this entire situation.

Forget club or country nationalise Sinenhlanhla Nzama

Lewis Hamilton - Formula One’s golden boy

Photo Courtesy of content-rsa.cricinfo.com

Politics in sport:

IT IS crunch time for the underperforming Bafana Bafana, with politicians joining the sport’s administrators in scratching their heads about what can be done in order to prevent South Africa from being embarrassed in the 2010 World Cup. The squad has been labelled as the biggest risk to the hosting of a successful World Cup. The Sports and Recreation Ministry has therefore proposed that the Parliamentary Portfolio Committee nationalise Bafana Bafana. This would mean contracting in the region of 50 players to prepare for the World Cup in South Africa.

The players will not be allowed to play club soccer for two years while they undergo intensive training. The South Koreans did the same when they were building up to the 2002 World Cup. They went on to beat the likes of Portugal, Italy and Spain to claim fourth position in the tournament that they co-hosted with Japan.

However, the South African situation is different as most of the players in South Korea can still play in their domestic league. Soccer analysts believe that by taking more than 30 of the best players from the PSL will have severe effects on the league beyond 2010.

However, the question has been asked: Will the soccer bosses (both local and European) buy into the idea? Even if they do, will the players themselves agree to disappear and return after two seasons to start from scratch?

Benni McCarthy, Bafana Bafana striker and Blackburn Rovers star – who has never been shy to air his views in the past – rejects the idea. The South African media agrees with him arguing that players have contractual obligations to their clubs and responsibilities to the fans of those clubs. They cannot just pack their bags and head home whenever Sports Minister Makhenkesi Stofile (or the South African Football Association for that matter) feels that South Africa needs them.

Even within the designated FIFA dates, it’s a bitter pill to swallow for clubs to release players for friendlies. In the past, Steven Pienaar, who plays for Everton, has had to fly home to be checked by Bafana Bafana doctors to confirm the English side’s diagnosis that he was unfit to play.

This is not a problem that faces European clubs only as Orlando Pirates coach, Owen Da Gama, has claimed on a number of occasions that midfielder, Teko Modise was too exhausted to feature in the squad. Strangely enough, he always played in the PSL the weekend before the Bafana Bafana games.

Meanwhile, South African coach, Carlos Alberto Parreira, has hit back hard on the minister, local coaches and Bafana Bafana critics. In a recent interview, he said ‘no country had a team ready two years before the World Cup. It just does not work like that. People are looking for shortcuts, but there are none in football.’

Photo courtesy of Justin Andrews

Ikeys victorious

UCT Athletics: A running success UCT Athletics proves its worth at the Two Oceans Marathon and UCT Women’s Memorial Race

UCT tackle - Ikeys manage to block a potential try. UCT beat NWU Pukke 32-31, in an extraordinary last ditch effort..

Lindi Brownell BOTH English and European football has taken supporters’ excitement to new heights this season. The FA Cup and the UEFA Champions League have been characterised by highly-contested matches, from appalling shows of refereeing to dubious red cards and disallowed goals.The 2007/2008 season is just like any other – except with a twist.

The UEFA Champions League has reached the quarterfinals.

More importantly, four English teams have reached the quarterfinals. Arsenal got rid of last year’s champions, AC Milan, in the first knockout round, as did Roma with rivals Real Madrid. Sevilla departed after Fenerbahçe beat them in a penalty shootout and Barcelona triumphed against Celtic 4-2.

Liverpool said goodbye to Milan’s Internazionale and Manchester United sent Lyon back to France.

Finally, it was all over for Porto after a severe thrashing in yet another penalty shootout against the reasonably small German side, Schalke, and Chelsea finalised England’s success in Europe with a 3-0 win over Olympiacos. With the ‘big four’, Arsenal, Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool, all in the running for this year’s trophy, tonight is bound to be thrilling in every sense of the word.

The first leg kicks off in Gelsinkirchen, Germany with home-side Schalke taking on mighty Barcelona, while Rome plays host to the Red Devils.

Tomorrow night sees Chelsea visiting Fenerbahçe in Istanbul and the much-anticipated English clash featuring Arsenal versus Liverpool. The second leg will

Photo courtesy of asia.news

Two cups: Two champions

UCT’S Athletic teams went from strength-to-strength, when both the men’s and women’s half-marathon teams finished third and fourth respectively in the Two Oceans Marathon. The men’s half-marathon team consisted of four runners: Ben Brimble, Nelson Bass, Edward Motlapema and Ian Rogers. With the exception of Nelson Bass, all of the runners managed to record personal best times in the 21.1km race.

Ben Brimble ran an excellent race and managed to record a time of 01:12:05, just ten minutes behind the overall winner in the halfmarathon category.

Sharing in the glory were Amy Aronson, Nicky Collins, Megan Beckett, Sarah-Jane Jackson and Debbie Noel of the women’s team.

Amy Aronson ran an outstanding race, managing to finish in under 01:30:00 and pick up a silver medal, while Collins, Beckett and Jackson all ran personal best times.

In total, 93 UCT club members took part in the Two Oceans Marathon this year, with 78 runners completing the half-marathon and 15 conquering the gruelling 56km ultra-marathon. The highlight of the day arrived in the form of UCT’s William Robinson, who finished the ultra in the top ten of

Western Province finishers, with a time of 03:52:57, just 41 minutes off the time of the overall winner.

Apart from UCT’s successful representation in the Old Mutual Marathon, the club has managed to host and perform successfully in various other events.

The Capestorm UCT Women’s Memorial 10km race was held on 16 March. The race was a great success with 755 finishers, which is easily the best field of runners in the last ten years.

The SA Track and Field Championship was held over the same weekend. Although the weather conditions did not help the competitors, UCT’s Jeanre Rossouw still managed to make both 100m and 200m semifinals.

Other UCT competitors who represented Western Province at the competition included Ben Brimble, Odette Olivier, Amy Aronson and Nicky Collins.

After successfully representing Western Province in the Track and Field Championship, Amy Aronson became the first UCT member to represent WP in track, cross country and road, in a 12 month period.

UCT athletics have had an extremely successful start to the year and one can only hope that the teams manage to maintain such a high standard for the remainder of the athletics season.

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fabregas - Five games from becoming champions be played on 9 April and the fight to get to the semifinals will have begun. The question is, who to keep an eye on? United’s Cristiano Ronaldo, having scored six goals so far this season, is up against Roma’s forward, Mirko Vučinić.

Liverpool has the likes of Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres to rely on, while Arsenal only has to hope that Emmanuel Adebayor pulls through and puts the ball into the back of the net. Chelsea has Didier Drogba contending with Fenerbahçe’s Deivid, while top goal scorer, Lionel Messi, will be up front for Barcelona against the underdogs.

This is all rather exciting, but what about the FA Cup? Who would have thought that not one of the ‘big four’ would be present in the semifinals on 5 April?

Probably the most notable matches

so far include the moments when relatively unknown Barnsley beat Liverpool in the fifth round and went on to kick Chelsea out in the quarterfinals. Arsenal said goodbye to potential Treble hopes when Manchester United moved on to the sixth round, only to be disposed of against Portsmouth at Old Trafford. Wembley will therefore be welcoming not the typical log leaders, but the teams Portsmouth, Barnsley, Cardiff City and West Bromwich Albion.

The trophies are waiting to be lifted. One thing is for sure; the Champions League Final in Moscow, to be held on 21 May, will be exhilarating no matter who reaches the top. And whoever the FA Cup winners happen to be, they will only prove that the underdogs should not be underestimated.

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Contact Chilli to stand a chance to win a trip to Tiffindell Cape Town: 021 425 7100 Email: capetown@chilliadventures.com Apply: www.chilliadventures.com

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