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Going the distance Christopher Russ C o Editor-in-Chief
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I'm almost halfway d o n e with m y last year of school. W h e n I w a s really young, 1 r e m e m b e r thinking t h a t going to school f r o m t h e age of 5 to 21 s e e m e d like an a b s u r d c o m m i t m e n t . Basically, for t h e first two d e c a d e s of your life you are a s t u d e n t . A n d n o w s o m e h o w , I'm a l m o s t finished. All of this reflecting b r o u g h t m e back to t h e blur that was f r e s h m a n o r i e n t a t i o n at H o p e College. O n e thing t h a t still sticks a b o u t t h o s e first two days w a s t h e " O r a n g e and Blue for You" play that was put o n by m e m b e r s of t h e o r i e n t a t i o n staff. The play consisted of skits t h a t were m e a n t to give s t u d e n t s advice a b o u t their n e w life as a college-student: don't p u t off studying, you might have a.difficult r o o m mate, you m i g h t get h o m e s i c k , and so o n . O n e "lesson" that a p p e a r e d in at least t h r e e of these skits, was t h a t if you are d a t i n g your significant o t h e r f r o m high-school, you are delusional. It's just a fact of life that it will not w o r k o u t , especially since there are so m a n y cool girls o n Hope's c a m p u s . In t h e end, t h e c h a r a c t e r in t h e play m a k e s t h e decision t o break up with his girlfriend over t h e phone, a n d h e is m u c h h a p p i e r n o w that h e can flirt with all of t h e c u t e college girls. A s a guy w h o w a s dating a girl w h o
Respect turkey day "It's Beginning to Copy Editor Look a lot like Christmas never fails to inspire me with that nostalgic, S a n t a - i s - c o m i n g holiday feel. However, this s o n g has a t i m e a n d place, a n d t h a t t i m e is n o t until after T h a n k s giving h a s had its rightful t u r n . It s e e m s t h a t t h e C h r i s t m a s s e a s o n b e g i n s earlier a n d earlier each year. This year, M e i j e r and Target got d e c k e d o u t for C h r i s t m a s as s o o n as t h e last piece of Halloween c a n d y was trick-or-treated. At this rate, we'll
Melody Hughes
NOVEMBER 2 3 , 2 0 1 1
went t o college o n t h e o t h e r side of t h e state, I felt fairly targeted by this message. N o w s o m e of this was just t h e result of a misguided a t t e m p t t o m a n u f a c t u r e a few m o r e H o p e College s w e e t h e a r t s , but this play still very clearly stated that d a t i n g s o m e o n e w h o lives outside of your area c o d e just a disaster waiting t o h a p p e n . Sitcoms a n d movies also b u y into this message for t h e m o s t part. In an episode of " H o w I M e t Your Mother," Marshall is c o n s u l t i n g Ted a b o u t a relationship and says that "Even t h o u g h Lily is my s o u l m a t e , long-distance almost killed us." At t h e end of t h e episode, Ted d e c i d e s t o give a long-distance r o m a n c e a s h o t anyways, b u t t h e story e n d s with t h e "moral" that these relationships hardly ever work a n d should not b e a t t e m p t e d . Even w h e n d i s t a n c e doesn't kill a relationship entirely, i t s usually at least d e p i c t e d as being s o m e kind of a living hell, like in t h e recent comedy, "Going The Distance." After you get a r o u n d t h e s p e c t r e of c a u t i o n a r y Hollywood tales, you also t e n d to find yourself defending your alternative lifestyle in conversations. S o m e p e o p l e like to s o u n d as w o r l d - w e a r y a n d exper i e n c e d as possible, a n d an easy way to d o this is b y c o m p l a i n i n g a b o u t past relationships. So w h e n a p e r s o n finds o u t that you're t r y i n g t o d a t e s o m e o n e w h o lives h o u r s away, they t e n d t o j u m p at t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o tell you h o w it is. I rem e m b e r o n e c o - w o r k e r w h o just looked at m e , shook her h e a d and said, "all guys cheat." S o m e t i m e s p e o p l e won't criticize you b u t will just say "Oh," a n d halfsmile sympathetically. You c a n almost h e a r t h e m mentally m a k i n g a n o t e to k e e p an eye o n your rela-
t i o n s h i p status on facebook. I should p a u s e for t w o quick disclaimers b e f o r e I keep going. First of all, I don't w a n t to give t h e impression t h a t I live t h r o u g h p e r s e c u t i o n day-in and d a y - o u t or anything. A l m o s t e v e r y o n e will be very supportive, and even if people give you a warning, they will usually still genuinely wish you luck. Second, t h e point of this c o l u m n is n o t to criticize p e o p l e w h o had a long-distance relationship that didn't work out. I don't think that you're evil or t h a t you don't believe in t r u e love, I just w a n t to let p e o p l e k n o w that these relationships aren't inherently cursed. In o n e particularly m o v i n g episode of "Scrubs," Dr. Kelso gives t w o o t h e r c h a r a c t e r s a warning, "Life is scary, get used to i t . . . n o t h i n g in this world that's w o r t h having c o m e s easy." If you really love s o m e o n e , a n d o n e or b o t h of you need t o move, I would r e c o m m e n d taking Dr. Kelso's uncharacteristically positive advice. A n d dating s o m e o n e w h o lives h o u r s away should theoretically easier than ever today. W i t h Skype, texting, voicemail, cars, cell p h o n e s , and facebook chat, staying c o n n e c t e d should be a breeze. U n f o r t u n a t e l y m o d e r n technology h a s pretty m u c h erased the rom a n t i c a d v e n t u r e r w h o writes letters h o m e t o t h e girl of his d r e a m s by candlelight, but if h e could d o it, you can too. Next s u m m e r I'll b e m a r r y i n g my h i g h - s c h o o l s w e e t h e a r t . A f t e r a l m o s t f o u r years of going to college o n o p p o s i t e sides of t h e state, I've n o t regretted c o m m i t t i n g to a long-distance relationship for o n e second.
soon be e a t i n g r e i n d e e r - s h a p e d popsicles and buying e l f - t h e m e d school supplies. This p r e m a t u r e C h r i s t m a s c o m m e r c i a l i s m enc r o a c h e s o n an a u t u m n holiday that deserves m o r e t i m e in t h e spotlight. Thanksgiving should have t h e m o n t h of N o v e m b e r t o itself w i t h o u t t h e distractions of a holiday t h a t already receives m o r e t h a n e n o u g h hype. H e r e are my t o p r e a s o n s why w e s h o u l d give Turkey Day m o r e respect; 1. Everything in m o d e r a t i o n C h r i s t m a s m a k e s t h e s n o w m o r e beautiful, t h e cookies m o r e b o u n t i f u l a n d t h e p e o p l e m o r e c o m p a s s i o n a t e . So why a m I arguing that there should b e less of it? I believe that C h r i s t m a s is s o special b e c a u s e it h a p p e n s o n c e a year. It's a holiday with its o w n designated season; t h e c h u r c h celebrates advent b e g i n n i n g in D e c e m ber t o r e m e m b e r t h e C h r i s t m a s story.
Instituting an artificially long C h r i s t m a s season detracts f r o m its singularity and significance. By t h e t i m e Dec. 2 5 rolls a r o u n d , p e o p l e have b e c o m e n u m b to t h e b e a u t y and true m e a n i n g of C h r i s t m a s . If it's always C h r i s t m a s t h e n it's never really C h r i s t m a s . By properly r e s p e c t i n g Thanksgiving, we avoid desensitizing ourselves to t h e traditions that b r e a t h e life into t h e C h r i s t m a s season. 2. G o d Bless America Thanksgiving deserves m o r e respect b e c a u s e it is an A m e r i c a n holiday. O n that f o u r t h Thursday of N o vember, w e g a t h e r together for a feast that is wholly a u t h e n t i c t o A m e r i c a . R e m e m b e r in k i n d e r g a r t e n w h e n your class p u t o n a p a g e a n t a b o u t t h e pilgrims and Indians? A little poking a r o u n d o n Wikipedia i n f o r m e d m e that t h e feast h a s ^ L i s t , p a g e 9 been celebrated since 1621, and
Puffy popcorn combating the Instant gratification syndrome' Marc Tori
E m p t y
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Stomach happiness. C o n fe s sion; I have an addiction to snacks. S o m e of my favorites include: fruit snacks, trail mix. Goldfish, c h i p s and salsa. Really I'd eat a b o u t a n y t h i n g you'd find in aisles 6 - 8 of Meijer. I b o u g h t a bag of p o p c o r n kernels last Sunday. I'm a big fan of p o p c o r n and I t h o u g h t it would be m o r e c o n venient (and cheaper) t o have a b a g of kernels I could m a k e h o w e v e r I pleased w h e n e v e r I w a n t e d t h e m . Popc o r n by itself ( w i t h o u t t h e butter and salt m i n d you) is a pretty healthy snack. I would not be o p p o s e d to substit u t i n g it for dinner. A n d that's probably not a good idea. P o p c o r n is fluff. It would fill my s t o m a c h b u t n o t provide a lot of nutritional value. O n e serving is 4.5 c u p s a n d h a s 120 calories. P o p c o r n is almost all c a r b o hydrate with a small p e r c e n t a g e of fat a n d protein. I'd eat e n o u g h to feel full but I'd be left h u n g r y quickly. But this is an easy d i n n e r o p t i o n and easy is attrac-
tive to a 22 year old c o o k i n g for himself. I imagine you're starting t o see my point. T h e lesson I'm learning f r o m p o p c o r n goes so m u c h f a r t h e r than eating habits. I'm all t o o willing t o take t h e easy r o u t e to get a quick fill. Living only o n s n a c k s could m a k e o n e u n h e a l t h y quickly. So can h a n g i n g o u t with t h e w r o n g friends, staying in an abusive relationship, d o i n g t h e b a r e m i n i m u m in a class, or neglecting your spiritual nature. Living a b a l a n c e d life is not easy. Avoiding cookies a n d waiting for d i n n e r isn't either. W e delay m a k i n g tough decisions b e c a u s e m a i n t a i n i n g t h e status q u o spares us s o m e pain. So o f t e n we just d o w h a t w e see as best for o u r self in t h e m o m e n t . Sure it's OK to splurge n o w and then. W e should be living life in t h e p r e s e n t too. Living a balanced life is not easy. Avoiding cookies a n d waiting for isn't either. My life isn't in p e r f e c t balance; I don't have it all figured out. The only t i m e I go t o t h e Dow is t o give a t o u r for admissions. I probably wouldn't r u n even if 1 w e r e chased. I could probably s p e n d less t i m e w a t c h i n g H B O ' s "True Blood" a n d s p e n d m o r e intentional t i m e with my h o u s e m a t e s .
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to b e better. W h a t if we all set a higher s t a n d a r d for ourselves? C a n we neglect o u r i m m e d i a t e desire to satisfy a m o r e i m p o r t a n t n e e d d o w n t h e road with s o m e t h i n g m o r e beneficial? Let's live life, and live it t o t h e fullest! We'd b e silly to think we can d o it all o n o u r own. Ask a friend t o help. Seek out t h e p o w e r of Christ. As Craig Barnes, t h e speaker at t h e G a t h e r i n g t w o Sundays ago said, " W e don't m a k e c h a n g e s to b e beloved, we make c h a n g e s b e c a u s e we a r e beloved." If o u r identities have b e e n placed in Christ, there is f r e e d o m t o be w h o h e created us t o be. If this m e a n s forsaking to indulge in what I t h i n k I n e e d n o w in o r d e r to b e c o m e his masterpiece, so be it. Let's not raise t h e bar just so we can be fantastic p e o p l e b u t so that we can glorify o u r creator. Marc spends time folding his clothes when he takes them out of the dryer so he won't be mad pulling wrinkled clothes from the hamper for the rest of the week.
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