PARENTING PERSPECTIVES By Justin Farrell and Julianna Lawson
Two local parents sound off about life, parenting, and relationships.
PARENTING PERSPECTIVES the truce of the battle of the sexes
As adults, we have had many opportunities to interact with a variety of people with different abilities. Whether it be someone who has a handicap, learning disability, or mental illness, we have likely learned socially appropriate ways to interact with those who may be different than ourselves. However, how do we teach our children to accept and properly react to those who are different?
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HE SAID “If I touch that guy will I get what he has?” The question brought immediate embarrassment to me as I looked around the room to make sure no one had heard my inquisitive 5-yearold daughter’s query. Fortunately no one had and I calmly explained to her that sometimes people get diseases that make it so they have to ride in a wheelchair or scooter. Shortly before he passed by, she had seen him struggle to his feet to address a crowd. MS is hard enough for an adult to understand, to say nothing of a kindergartner.
After reading the article I was reassured that I had done the best I could. While this would certainly not be the last time that the mix of youthful curiosity and lack of social graces would catch me off guard, I know I will be ready the next time it happens.
Justin Farrell is a married father of two living in Vancouver. He is a child mental health specialist who writes a blog on faith, family, and fatherhood that can be found at www.courageousvancouverdad.com.
I did the best I could to explain that she wouldn’t get what he had by touching him. Cold and flu season had just started and she was learning about the importance of hand washing for preventing the spread of germs. At least she was paying attention in class. Certainly this wouldn’t be the last time we encountered someone, adult or child, with a disability. I wondered how I could be better prepared for the next time this happened. A quick Google search led me to an article on The Seattle Children’s Hospital website entitled, “Respecting Differences: How to Talk with Your Child about Disabilities.” The article listed three tips for talking to school-aged children about disabilities: 1) Your child may have a classmate with a disability. The child using a walker or cochlear implant may have plenty of things in common with your child. Encourage your child to see a potential friend, rather than focusing on differences. 2) At this age, your child may be more aware of less-visible disabilities like those associated with learning or behavior. Answer your child’s questions with facts, and be honest when you don’t know the answer. 3) Use “people first” language. It’s more respectful to say that a person has a disability, rather than that a person is disabled. This way, the disability or illness is just one part of that person and not the defining feature.
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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014
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