Vfmfeb14web by Vancouver Family Magazine

Free anuary 2014 FJebruary 2014

Vancouver fa mily magazine www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com

CREATE A

WINNING

RELATIONSHIP HOPE & TOOLS FOR COUPLES

Defeat the

DENTAL DRAMA KIDS & MONEY: WILL YOUR KIDS FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS?

DOUBLE

UP ON BIRTHDAY

FUN

LOCAL AUTHOR BUZZ: Valerie Larwick

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

contents

FEATURE ARTICLES

Create a Winning Relationship MarriageTeam gives hope and tools for couples

Double Up On Birthday Fun Pair parties for more fun and less work

Dental Drama Show-stopping advice to stop the dental drama

Local Author Buzz: Valerie Larwick Battle Ground grandmother writes from the heart

February ‘14

10 22 18

IN EVERY ISSUE 6

Editor’s Notes

Parenting Perspectives Respect and embrace differences

Your Money's Worth Would you want your children to grow up to handle money the same way you do now?

Calendar of Events & Activities

ON THE WEB • Prescription drug abuse • Teaching children to deal with failure • Kindergarten readiness assessment tests • Stop the Mompetition

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

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Swim Lessons • Family Swims • Birthday Parties Marshall Community Center 487-7100

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Photo © Lulabell Photography / lulabellphotography.com

EDITOR'S NOTES

Happy Marriage, Happy Life Few circumstances impact our overall quality of life more than marriages

and romantic relationships. Even huge challenges such as poverty and illness can be counteracted and confronted

when a couple is in sync and prepared to face an uncertain

future together. In fact, a 2013 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family followed 1,681 people for 20 years,

and found a correlation between happy marriages and spouses’ physical health.

Vancouver fa mily magazine Volume 13, Issue 2 Publisher

Julie Buchan Julie@vancouverfamilymagazine.com (360) 882-7762

Editor

Nikki Klock Nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com (360) 882-7762

Graphic Designer

I-Shüan Warr Ishuan@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Ad Designer

Philip Nerat Philip@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Contributing Writers

Problem is, a happy marriage is difficult to attain, and takes

more effort than any self-help book or talk show host can begin to describe. Significant others living in family units find their

weaknesses and vulnerabilities are regularly on display. But the real secret, most happily married people will testify, is in how

these challenges can transform us into better people. Forget the rhetoric that “I am who I am and that’s never going to change.

Deal with it.” We are here to learn and grow, not to give everyone the finger and do what we want at any cost. At any rate, if that is

your goal, good luck with that happy marriage and corresponding good health and quality of life. It simply can’t happen without compromise, sacrifice, and huge helping of humble pie.

Justin Farrell, Jackie Genis, Malia Jacobson, Julianna Lawson, Heidi Smith Luetdke, PhD, Pamela Swearingen

Calendar Submissions

calendar@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Ad Sales

sales@vancouverfamilymagazine.com Vancouver Family Magazine is published monthly by Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC Address: PO Box 820264 Vancouver, WA 98682 Tel: 360-882-7762 • Fax: 360-852-8171

of whatever is holding you back from enjoying one of the greatest

Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC and staff do not recommend or endorse any service, product, or content represented in this magazine or on our website. The sole purpose of this publication is to provide information on available services and/or products. It is the consumer’s responsibility to verify the accuracy of information given. Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC, and/or Julie Buchan and Nikki Klock and staff do not assume and disclaim any liability to any party for any loss or damage caused by error or omission in this magazine or on our website. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

home.

On the Cover:

In this issue, learn on page 12 about one local organization whose goal is to help couples on that road to a happy marriage. And for Valentine’s Day this year, celebrate your marriage by letting go blessings available in this life: a happy marriage and a happy

Nikki Klock, Editor nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

One of Vancouver Family Magazine’s favorite local family photographers, Scarlette Richards, with her husband, Paul, married 18 years.

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www.legacyhealth.org/kidsonly Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

PARENTING PERSPECTIVES By Justin Farrell and Julianna Lawson

Two local parents sound off about life, parenting, and relationships.

PARENTING PERSPECTIVES the truce of the battle of the sexes

As adults, we have had many opportunities to interact with a variety of people with different abilities. Whether it be someone who has a handicap, learning disability, or mental illness, we have likely learned socially appropriate ways to interact with those who may be different than ourselves. However, how do we teach our children to accept and properly react to those who are different?

HE SAID “If I touch that guy will I get what he has?” The question brought immediate embarrassment to me as I looked around the room to make sure no one had heard my inquisitive 5-yearold daughter’s query. Fortunately no one had and I calmly explained to her that sometimes people get diseases that make it so they have to ride in a wheelchair or scooter. Shortly before he passed by, she had seen him struggle to his feet to address a crowd. MS is hard enough for an adult to understand, to say nothing of a kindergartner.

After reading the article I was reassured that I had done the best I could. While this would certainly not be the last time that the mix of youthful curiosity and lack of social graces would catch me off guard, I know I will be ready the next time it happens.

Justin Farrell is a married father of two living in Vancouver. He is a child mental health specialist who writes a blog on faith, family, and fatherhood that can be found at www.courageousvancouverdad.com.

I did the best I could to explain that she wouldn’t get what he had by touching him. Cold and flu season had just started and she was learning about the importance of hand washing for preventing the spread of germs. At least she was paying attention in class. Certainly this wouldn’t be the last time we encountered someone, adult or child, with a disability. I wondered how I could be better prepared for the next time this happened. A quick Google search led me to an article on The Seattle Children’s Hospital website entitled, “Respecting Differences: How to Talk with Your Child about Disabilities.” The article listed three tips for talking to school-aged children about disabilities: 1) Your child may have a classmate with a disability. The child using a walker or cochlear implant may have plenty of things in common with your child. Encourage your child to see a potential friend, rather than focusing on differences. 2) At this age, your child may be more aware of less-visible disabilities like those associated with learning or behavior. Answer your child’s questions with facts, and be honest when you don’t know the answer. 3) Use “people first” language. It’s more respectful to say that a person has a disability, rather than that a person is disabled. This way, the disability or illness is just one part of that person and not the defining feature.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

continued on next page

continued from previous page

SHE SAID When we teach our children to embrace people with differences, we open up for them a world of compassion and joy. If we lack experience, however, it can be difficult to know where to begin. This month I’ve had the privilege of interacting with several parents and educators of special needs children. I hope you find their words to be encouraging and inspiring as you guide your families. First, parents are encouraged to introduce their children to diverse situations from an early age. Heidi Timm, a special needs educator, shares that “early exposure helps people in general feel comfortable with differences.” When Timm’s children were young, she placed them in classrooms where they could interact with special needs children. This gave them “exposure to wheelchairs and walkers and allowed them to explore these items at an age where it was very appropriate for them to do so.” Linda Wagar, who has worked in special education at Evergreen High School adds, “Diversity may mean there are differences, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have things in common. We can relate to each other despite the differences.” Emily Wigginton understands that kids are naturally curious, and she warmly encourages children to ask questions about her son, Mason, who uses a wheelchair. Timm, likewise, says it’s appropriate to guide children in their questions; curiosity is not rude. “People with special needs are used to questions, and most of them love to talk about their special device or animal and how it helps them.”

us interact with those who might look or act differently than we do, it’s not something they’ll soon forget. Rather, their hearts will soften toward others, and they will experience the joy of thinking and acting beyond themselves.

Julianna Lawson, and her husband, Jamie, make their home in Vancouver with their four children, ages 8 to 15. Julianna can also be found at petuniajune. blogspot.com, where she writes about family, faith, and the fullness of joy.

Wigginton suggests approaching a special needs child with a friendly greeting, such as, “Hey, buddy! What’s your name?” Although he might not be able to respond, he loves the interaction. Mason’s friends have learned to playfully tug on his arm, saying, “Hey, Mason! It’s me!” as they eagerly help him participate in school activities. Overall, let us remember this compelling truth, shared by Mason’s grandmother: “Compassion is taught by example.” As our children watch

“People with special needs are used to questions, and most of them love to talk about their special device or animal and how it helps them.”

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

YOUR MONEY'S WORTH

Your Money’s

WORTH By Pamela Swearingen

Things You Should Be Teaching Your Kids About

M NEY Kids love money. They all know money is the ticket to toys, clothes and Disneyland. Sometimes it feels like children really do think that money grows on trees, though. What is a parent to do? Without a doubt, financial responsibility is a crucial life lesson everyone needs to learn. Having a lot or a little money can dictate where you live, work and play. However, if you are a parent, would you want your children to grow up and handle money the same way you do now? Whether you answer yes or no to that question, the time is now to start raising kids who are truly money-wise. Here are ten points to remember when it comes to raising financially-savvy children:

Plan, budget, set goals. Kids need to learn early how to identify their needs versus wants. It’s important to teach kids how to plan and budget for those needs. It might be even more critical to teach kids how to set longterm savings goals in order to purchase their wants.

Save for a rainy day. Illness, unemployment and leaky roofs can happen at any time. Adults know this and try to prepare their finances. Kids also need to learn about unexpected expenses, though. For example, a lastminute invite to the movies with a friend is easily handled if a child has learned to set aside a few allowance dollars in their own rainy day fund, and if parents resolve to not provide unlimited funds for every want that comes up.

Lead by example. Children are excellent sponges that can soak up all that they see around them. It is one thing to teach kids about money, but it is another thing to model good financial behavior that kids can imitate. Let your kids see you say no to a luxury item and avoid debt.

It’s OK to talk about money! Many adults grew up in homes where it was impolite or forbidden to talk about money. Kids

continued on next page

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

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Responsibility required. Kids need to learn that financial responsibility is required in life. For example, paying bills is not a “dreaded chore” but a necessity if the family wants to have water and electricity in the home.

It’s your money, so don’t let it control you. Set limits and stick to them. Avoid debt and plan for the long term, not the gotta-have-it-now.

Morals and money are important, and go hand in hand. Money can even make adults do some crazy things. Train the kids at a young age that money is a responsibilty, that integrity is paramount, and that earning an honest living is far more rewarding than a quick buck made unscrupulously.

Someone always has more money. In a world filled with entitlement and big-money advertisers, this concept is critical for all children to learn. Don’t try to live a millionaire lifestyle on a pauper’s budget. Explain to your kids that having everything is not the goal.

Someone always has less money. Likewise, a lot of people in this world live (happily even!) on a whole lot less money per day than most Americans can even fathom. It’s important to remember to help those who are less fortunate and to be thankful for what you do have.

Understand important money terms and concepts. Money isn’t a foreign language to learn, but it is crucial to know and understand basic financial lingo. Kids need to know that loans come with interest and that late fees can be hefty penalties.

As parents we all want our kids to grow up to be successful and happy. Money itself definitely can’t guarantee success or happiness, but raising financially-savvy kids who have the right money tools is a great start to living a satisfying life. Pamela lives in Battle Ground with her family and two chi-weenie dogs. You can find Pamela discussing books and homeschooling at www.lavishbookshelf.com.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Feature Article: Create a Winning Relationship

a e t a Cre WINNING By Jackie Genis

RELATI NSHIP Valentine’s Day is around the corner and so is cupid. Hopefully,

those arrows are hitting the mark. Most likely for some of us the idea of a love-filled cherub could look more like an annoying reminder of the battle of the sexes. This might ring especially true for those struggling in a marriage or relationship. However, there is hope! It’s possible to have a strong marriage for those willing to work hard and try something new to enhance their relationship and give it a fresh chance to go the distance. That something new could be MarriageTeam, a nonprofit in Vancouver founded by Al and Autumn Ray with a two-fold

mission. MarriageTeam is dedicated to training couples as marriage coaches. Those coaches are then matched with premarital and married couples seeking guidance to restore, tune-up, or heal their relationships. The tools gained will strengthen the family unit and can save marriages and families from the pain of divorce. “We have over 100 MarriageTeam coaches available to coach another couple,” says Al Ray, co-founder and executive director for MarriageTeam. “Coaches facilitate listening, speaking, trust, effective decision making, and understanding your partner.”

continued on page 14

“You are being

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Feature Article: Create a Winning Relationship (cont’d)

continued from page 12

Nearly any relationship can benefit from MarriageTeam coaching, whether the challenges are big or small. Candidates simply need to want to learn to serve the health of their relationship and keep it growing strong. That said, there are situations where coaching might not work. These include addictions, mental health issues, depression, abuse, or on-going affairs. MarriageTeam refers couples dealing with these issues to professional counselors. But once these folks are receiving needed treatment they might later be good coaching candidates. “We have seen marriages that probably never should have happened flourish to create something new,” says marriage coaches Jimmy and Jeanne Williams. The Williamses had benefited from coaching before becoming trained coaches with MarriageTeam. They now enjoy sharing what they have learned in their 38 years of marriage. “People shut down because of pain, hurt, and anger—a partner touches those buttons without even realizing that.”

How MarriageTeam Works MarriageTeam coaches undergo training on a multitude of issues including anger, communication, bitterness, forgiveness, conflict resolution, problem solving, appreciating differences, intimacy, and goal setting.

The coaching process guides couples to learn tools to help resolve issues. Al Ray explains the process is like an hourglass. At the top you have a problem. On either side are the couple’s differing views of the issue. It is the coaches’ job to help the couple arrive at a common understanding. This is achieved through active listening for meaningful understanding. Coaches guide couples to work as a team, says Ray, and to find solutions to common problems. These couples learn to make agreements that each will stick to when implementing those solutions. “Communication is like peeling back an onion, there is always more to fully understand,” says Ray. “You need teamwork and taking into account each other’s feelings.” This is easier said than done as relationships are complex and layered with emotions. But those who are willing to open their heart and mind to the process will learn accountability and how to move to action with clear agreements on reaching mutual accountability and resolutions. “It has given me a voice,” says MarriageTeam coach Kathy Collins of her experience receiving coaching with her husband Carl. They are now trained coaches. “I didn’t want conflict,” Kathy explains, “so I would bury issues, but MarriageTeam helped us learn to speak, to listen, show respect, and be understood.”

continued on page 16

Couples who learn to

listen and

speak in a way that eliminates

“attacking” language are better equipped

understand one another. This will build trust and create a safe zone for each partner to become vulnerable and grow closer again. to

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

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Feature Article: Create a Winning Relationship (cont’d)

continued from page 14

Couples who learn to listen and speak in a way that eliminates “attacking” language are better equipped to understand one another. This will build trust and creates a safe zone for each partner to become vulnerable and grow closer again. “You are being coached, not taught,” says Carl and Kathy Collins. “You are using questions to think through your behavior—why it’s happening—and that takes the judgment out of it.” This is significant because the goal is to be understood, added Kathy Collins, “not to be agreed with, but to be understood.” To communicate effectively, MarriageTeam guides couples to use “I” statements and avoid “you” messages to make a point. “We re-tool these statements,” says Kathy Collins, “and this is how you talk through a problem.” For example, one might say “I feel frustrated right now,” “I feel unloved,” or “I feel lonely.” By removing the “you” the accusatory tone is eliminated that creates defensiveness and shuts down listening and understanding. “We use words, problem solving, and conflict resolution strategies,” says Carl Collins. “We give couples a new way to resolve issues.” The tools behind the coaching stem from the idea that we are all born onto different “teams” in our family of origin. Al Ray explains that as we grow, we learn a “playbook” of behaviors that work for that specific team. Some teams are more functional–or winning– than other teams and some playbooks are better written. As adults, we join new “teams” through marriage or partnerships. The problem arises when that original playbook still guides us but we don’t share it with our new teammate. This, says Ray, creates “errors, fumbles, and frustration.” MarriageTeam coaching helps to design a common playbook to create a winning relationship and marriage. The new “plays” or relationship strategies couples negotiate are all about changing behavior. The couple works to form mutual continued on next page

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

“The idea is to leave the couple feeling like they can be winners in their marriage and not complacent.

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agreements on how to deal with issues. This will ensure that resolutions to a problem are positive and productive. “This is a critical point,” says Jeanne Williams. “Both must mutually agree on it.” “MarriageTeam is about these wonderful ‘toolbox’ tools filled with new plays and methods to make the marriage work,” says Jimmy Williams. “All you have to do is reach into the toolbox, take out a tool and apply it.” MarriageTeam has saved some couples from the brink of divorce. An independent analysis of 143 couples who completed MarriageTeam coaching conducted by PREPARE/ ENRICH shows statistically significant results of reported major improvements in communication and conflict resolution. “We have seen marriages flip 180 degrees,” says Jimmy and Jeanne Williams. “A lot of that is a God thing–everything offered is connected to some truth that has deep spiritual meaning.”

Couples learn to appreciate and trust each other again too. Ineffective “default” patterns are identified and replaced with new patterns of behavior that promote relationship health. “The idea is to leave the couple feeling like they can be winners in their marriage and not complacent,” says Kathy Collins. “You want a marriage with joy in it.” To learn more visit www.MarriageTeam.org or e-mail info@ marriageteam.org.

Jackie Genis is a freelance journalist living in Vancouver. She enjoys serving communities through feature writing. Her work has appeared in many of The Columbian’s special publications including North Clark County’s Battle Ground Today, the Portland Tribune, smaller newspapers, and Clearing magazine. She has done some commercial and public relations writing. Jackie co-parents and has two young sons that keep her busy when she isn’t writing.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Feature Article: Double Up On Birthday Fun

DOUBLE UP B

A Y

FUN

Pair Parties for More Fun and Less Work By Malia Jacobson

For a double-scoop of fun at your child’s next birthday, why not host a dual party? Combined parties for siblings, cousins, or friends with close birthdays are a growing trend, says Marnie Ann Pacino, author and illustrator of “Cool Party, Mom! The Other Three Words Every Mother Loves to Hear.” With kids’ parties becoming bigger, grander affairs, double parties let moms share the workload and the expense of birthday festivities. Birthday parties are a much bigger deal than they used to be, says Pacino. “Between decorations, invites, favors, activities, and food, it can be exhausting and expensive. Who wouldn’t love some help running errands, cleaning up and footing the bill?” And double parties don’t just benefit parents. For kids, a combined party often means a bigger party with more guests. “A potato sack race with 20 kids is bound to produce more giggles than the same race with ten kids!” notes Pacino. Shared parties are also convenient for invitees’ parents. Kathleen Yarbro combined birthday parties for Lilly, 3, and Chloe, 1, into one celebration because the girls’ birthdays are 10 days apart—one party was less hassle for everyone involved. “Most of the families we’d invite were the same for

both girls,” she says. “It made more sense to invite them all at once, instead of asking them to come over two weekends in a row.” Think a double-decker party might work for your family? Here’s how to host a sweet soiree that your child (or children) will cherish for years. Get Input The first step to a successful double party: Ask the kids involved if it’s what they want (if kids are too young to ask, it’s probably a safe bet that they don’t mind sharing the spotlight). Parents shouldn’t assume that all kids necessarily want a combined party. And some children with very different temperaments—one who’s high strung, and another who’s more retiring, for example—may not make compatible partymates. If the guests of honor are on board, give both kids equal say in planning decisions. Theme Scheme If the birthday kids can’t agree on a theme, don’t choose— let each child pick a theme, and use both. When Christy Ramersrus hosted a double party for her two children, Joslyn, 7, chose a pony theme, while Carson, 4, picked Thomas The Tank Engine. Instead of deciding between the two themes, continued on page 20

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

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Feature Article: Double Up On Birthday Fun (cont’d)

continued from page 18

the family had separate decorations and a cake for each child in different rooms of the house. The theme combination was eclectic, Ramersrus admits, but the arrangement kept her kids happy and their guests entertained.

Double the fun with these joint party themes:

Gift Guidelines Buying double the birthday gifts can cause sticker shock for some guests. To ensure that people aren’t disinclined from attending because of the burden of purchasing two gifts, consider specifying simple gifts, or setting a no-gift policy. Book exchanges, where each guest brings a book to exchange in lieu of a gift, are a popular way to skirt the gift issue.

• Thing 1 & Thing 2 • Dora and Diego • Noah’s Ark

Solo Spotlight Even at a combined party, kids should still feel special at their birthday shindig. Two birthday cakes are a must, as well as taking turns being first during games and activities. At the Yarbro party, each girl got their own rendition of the “Happy Birthday” song and sat in a seat of honor to open gifts. Double parties can be a blast, but they’re not for everyone, Pacino notes. Sibling rivalry can be intense during certain times in a child’s development—do parents want to put up with more sibling bickering during what’s supposed to be a fun event? Solo birthday parties also give kids in large families a rare chance to be the center of attention. But for many kids, double parties mean double the fun. So set a budget, set realistic expectations, get both birthday kids involved in planning, and get ready for a double-dose of frosting-fueled birthday memories.

• Princess and Knight • Cowboy and Cowgirl • Peter Pan and Tinkerbell • Max and Ruby • Humpty Dumpty and Little Miss Muffet

Malia Jacobson is a freelance writer and mom of two.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

• Spiderman and Batman • Sugar and Spice

11606 NE 66th St. 360-885-7529 www.DizzyCastle.com

Mommy Meet Up Mondays! Free House Drip Coffee, or

50% Off Any One Espresso Drink!

Socialize your youngsters with other toddlers in the area. You’ll meet new friends and so will they! Bring your current mommy group or create a new one! Infants under 1 and adults are always free! • Valid Mondays Only • Cannot be combined with any other offer • Not Valid on Non-School Days

Offer expires 3/31/14 VFM

25% OFF Tuesdays =

25% Off Admission! • Coupon valid for unlimited number of children on the same transaction • Not valid on Non-School days • Can not be combined with other offers Offer expires 3/31/14 VFM

Birthday Special Wednesdays! $99 Birthday Special

50% off Wednesday bday party package. Party includes Visit from Dizzy the Dragon, up to 15 children, 1 hour and 45 mins in private themed party room • Valid Wednesday Only • Not valid on Non-School days or holidays • Can not be combined with other offers • Party host not included, must present coupon at time of booking and bring coupon at time of party Offer expires 3/31/14 • VFM

Dinner Deal Thursdays!

FREE Kid’s dinner! With each paid admission enjoy 1 slice of cheese pizza, side of carrots and refillable soda on us! Plus 20% off ENTIRE Cafe purchase for adults! • Not valid on Non-School days • Not valid for birthdays or field trips • Must present coupon to cafe prior to purchase • Coupon valid for single transaction • Must present coupon at time of check in • Coupon valid on admission paid between 4pm-8pm. Offer expires 3/31/14 • VFM

Cosmic Fridays! FREE light saber or LED glow ring! Come party at the castle every Friday from 5pm-9pm! Dizzy the Dragon’s dance party is an unforgetable experiance with lazers, mirror lights, black lights, fog machines, strobe lights and much more! Check our website, click on cosmic night tab for a sneak peak of the action! See you there! • Must present coupon at time of check in • 1 paid admission = 1 light saber or LED glow ring • Valid EVERY cosmic night • Cosmic night is 5pm-9pms Offer expires 3/31/14 • VFM

It’s Coming!

The best toys for the little loves in your life

s our Don’t mis pring

s annual nd break a r camp summe, coming in guides pril. nd A March a

Toys, books, games & fun for kids of all ages

Chrystle Hopper Photography

113503 SE Mill Plain Blvd. Vancouver, WA 98684 360-823-0123 facebook.com/kazoodlestoys www.kazoodlestoys.com

Your kids can thank us later. For information on listing your camp, contact Nikki Klock at

(360) 882-7762

or email nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Feature Article: Dental Drama: How to Handle Kids’ Dental Anxiety

Dental Drama

If you have season tickets to the dental drama, read on for expert, show-stopping advice. At-Home Hygiene Kids need to brush at least twice a day and floss between teeth, and parent involvement is critical. “Most kids aren’t able to brush by themselves until they can tie their own shoes and cut food with a knife and fork,” says Dr. Rhea Haugseth, a pediatric dentist and president of the AAPD. “Before that, their motor skills and coordination aren’t up to the task.” Parents should expect to brush kids’ teeth until age 7 or 8, and to floss them until age 9 or 10. Some kids resist brushing because they want to retain control. Others may be intimidated by the process itself. Your child may fear you’ll be rough with the toothbrush, or that they’ll choke on toothpaste and saliva. Go easy on the toothpaste and break brushing into segments so your child has time to calm down (and spit) in between. The fast and furious approach may be over-stimulating.

How to Handle Kids’ Dental Anxiety By Heidi Smith Luedtke, Ph.D.

Each night at my house there’s a show after dinner. I call it the dental drama. As I approach my son’s mouth with the toothbrush, he closes it tight. I ply him with sparkly, watermelon-flavored toothpaste. Still, he resists. I threaten. He negotiates. After several minutes, he lets me brush. As I do, he sucks off the toothpaste, bites the toothbrush and gags for effect. With antics like this, it’s no surprise the American Academy of Pediatric Dentists (AAPD) reports more than half of children have cavities by second grade.

It’s best to brush kids’ teeth right after dinner, says Haugseth. Doing so removes food particles several hours before bedtime and keeps dental drama from interfering with your wind-down routine. Sing a song or use a timer, so your child knows how long brushing will last. If you make it a silly song, you may just steal the show. Pre-Visit Prep “We encourage parents to bring their child in for an initial dental visit when their first few teeth erupt, usually between 6 and 12 months of age,” says Dr. Chad Denman, a dentist in Austin, Texas. Early dental exams help establish good oral health habits and familiarity with the dentist. Infants usually sit in a parent’s lap during the exam. Kids – like adults – fear the unknown. Explain what to expect using non-threatening, age-appropriate language. Avoid words like “needle” or “drill.” Your child’s imagination may run wild. Describe procedures in fun, familiar terms. Taking x-rays is “taking pictures of your teeth,” polishing teeth is “tooth washing.” The suction tube is a tiny vacuum for spit. Calling it a “spit sucker” turns drama into comedy. Knowledge is powerful. Read “Berenstain Bears Visit the Dentist” to teach kids the basics and “Throw Your Tooth on the Roof” to address loss of the primary teeth. Practice helps, too. Use a rotary toothbrush at home to familiarize your child with the sounds and sensations of dental equipment. continued on next page

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Got Love?

Be a Foster Parent! continued from previous page

“The most important thing is to keep a positive attitude about the dentist,” says pediatric dentist Dr. George Lynch. Many moms and dads have unpleasant memories of their own childhood dental visits. “I usually have to remind them that the world of dentistry has improved immensely,” says Lynch. Distasteful, chalky toothpaste and heavy-handed hygienists are things of the past. Let your child form opinions based on personal experience. In the Office Dental instruments and procedures can be frightening. “Sometimes kids dislike the noise or vibration of the prophy – what we use to clean their teeth – or they fear the suction device,” says pediatric dentist Dr. Neda Kalantar. They may worry the instrument will hurt, or that their teeth or tongue will be sucked out. Dentists and hygienists use the tell-show-do technique to ease kids’ fears, says Kalantar. They’re also incredibly patient. Expect the dentist to explain what she’ll do, show your child the instruments and materials she’ll use, and then – once your child knows what’s coming – gently do the work.

CCS Family Preservation is looking for adults who are: flexible, patient, willing to learn and team players willing to work with youth 10-17 years old. We Offer: The support of trained professionals available 24/7 $1,500 monthly reimbursement For more information call

(360) 980-2643

zeniab@ccsww.org • www.ccsww.org/fpfostercare

Kids—like adults—fear the unknown. Explain what to expect using non-threatening, age-appropriate language. Avoid words like “needle” or “drill.”

Your child’s imagination may run wild.

Procedures involving the drill are the most frightening, says Denman. “The child has to breathe through his nose during the procedure, because of the water shooting out from the drill into the back of the throat. The tongue and cheek have to be held back by an assistant.” The odor that develops when a tooth is cut can be unnerving, too. Enhance your child’s confidence by praising his brave, helpful behavior before and after treatment. Consider your child’s dentist a health-care partner. To get the most out of your visit, come prepared with questions. If you have concerns about have about your child’s oral hygiene habits, thumb sucking or cavities, discuss them with the dentist in private. You don’t want to take the show on the road. Heidi Smith Luedtke, Ph.D., is a personality psychologist and mom who shares psychology lessons for real life at www.heidiluedtke.com.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Feature Article: Local Author Buzz: Valerie Larwick

Local Author Buzz:

Valerie Larwick ks, of a number of children’s boo As an author and illustrator ed ent tal one erie Larwick is Battle Ground resident Val of gs ks are filled with drawin lady. Her children’s boo dness. ries with a wholesome goo friendly animals and sto msical and entertaining. Larwick’s work is both whi

Although Larwick has been painting and writing her entire life,

Trailblazers medical staff, training them on the use of an AED so

initially Larwick’s career was focused on the medical field.

the team could install the device on their team airplane.”

Beginning as a volunteer for a local fire department, Larwick eventually began riding in ambulances as an IV/Airway

Since leaving the medical training profession, Larwick has had

Technician. While working for Emergency Medical Services,

more personal time to focus on her writing and her artwork. She

Larwick began writing First Aid training manuals. She would go

has now successfully published two children’s book. Her latest

on to write and illustrate several manuals including a First Aid

books are of quite a different nature than her earlier medical

manual for kids, one for elderly care and one specifically written

manuals, and each of her recent creations is dedicated to one of

for day care providers. Later as a volunteer for the American

her four grandchildren..

Heart Association, she was able to help create a training program in the Northwest for Automatic External Defibrillators

“A Cat Named Frenchy Blue” is dedicated to Larwick’s grandson,

(AEDs). Explaining her passion for proper medical training,

Colin Riley. This engaging book is written in rhyme and features

Larwick recounts, “I was also able to work once with the Portland

an adorable cat who is very busy looking for a mouse. Frenchy Blue is playful and polite and claims, “my hair is bluer than blue can be, with stripes all over me as you can see.” “If a Bear Stops by for Tea” was written for Larwick’s granddaughter, Veronica Jane. This charming book is all about a girl who warmly and politely welcomes a bear who has come to her house. Larwick also has plans for a third children’s book, “Peekee and Boo,” which she hopes will be released in the Summer of 2014.

continued on next page

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

continued from previous page

For most of her books, Larwick finds that she writes the story first, then does the illustrating. But the process reversed itself in her upcoming book “Peekee and Boo,” where she came up with the character first, then penned the story. Each of the illustrations in Larwick’s books are first drawn by hand. Next Larwick scans the pictures into her computer so she can adjust come of the colors using Adobe Photoshop or Illustrator. Illustrating children’s books is not the only creative outlet for Larwick. As an artist, she also specializes in clay, clay on canvas, oil painting and sketching works with pencils. Larwick was raised in Portland, but her family settled in Clark County more than 30 years ago. As a child, Larwick spent a larger portion of her formative years around the Oregon Society of Artists. Larwick’s mother was herself an artist and art teacher. Due to her mother’s involvement with the Oregon Society of Artists, Larwick spent many hours as a child learning art and illustration from a number of famous Northwest artists, including artist Ben Larson. Even today Larwick draws inspiration from her short time with the famed Portland artist Colista Dowling.

A self-published author, Larwick sells her books through a number

Larwick proudly shares, “I remember when I was about 9 or 10

of online retail sites. Her own website www.larwickbookandart.

years old, I was able to sit for a painting by Colista Dowling. In

com has information on her books and her artwork as well as

fact, I was one of the last subjects that Dowling was able to paint

links for purchasing “A Cat Named Frenchy Blue” and “If a Bear

before her death.” Larwick’s devotion to the Oregon Society of

Stops by for Tea.”

Artists is evident in Larwick’s private collection which contains a number of both Larson’s and Dowling’s artwork and journals.

Pamela lives in Battle Ground with her family and two chi-weenie dogs. You can find Pamela discussing books and more at www. lavishbookshelf.com.

Since leaving the medical training profession, Larwick has had more

personal time to focus on her writing

and her artwork. She has now successfully published two children’s book s.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

CALENDAR OF EVENTS & ACTIVITIES

Calendar February ‘14

of events

Have a community event that you want to share? Calendar event submissions can be sent to calendar@vancouverfamilymagazine. com, or call us at 360-882-7762. Submissions are due on the 5th of the month prior to publication. Events are subject to change. Please contact organization directly to confirm. All library events are free and open to the public.

1 SATURDAY

Come and Play on Saturday at Three Creeks Community Library, 800-C NE Tenney Rd., Vancouver. Art! Crafts! Games! Mystery Activities! Drop in and see what fun the library has waiting for you. 10 am-12 pm Parents’ Night Out every Saturday at Naydenov Gymnastics, 5313 NE 94th Ave., Vancouver. For boys ages 5-11 and girls 5 and up. Music, trapeze bar, movie, free play, zip line, foam pits, trampolines, games, ropes, and more. Non-members: $17, members: $14. Extra $7 for medium pizza. Children should wear comfortable clothes with no buckles, buttons, or zippers. No preregistration required. 6-11 pm

4 TUESDAY

Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. Free every Tuesday at 13503 SE Mill Plain Blvd. #B-3, Vancouver. 10:30 am Little Cups and Grownups Story time at 3000 SE 164th Ave., Vancouver, Ste 107. 10:30 am

Santé Mama New Parent Support Group, free every Wednesday at Fisher’s Landing

Russian Story Time at Camas Library, 625 NE 4th Ave., Camas. Stories, chants, songs and more in Russian, for ages infant-age 5 and caregivers. 10:15-10:45 am

Antique Coin Bonanza at NW Plaza, 400 E Evergreen Blvd., Vancouver (inside The Academy basement at the west entrance). Antique Coin Buyers are available to the public for free coin valuations and a coin collecting workshop. Guests can enjoy viewing an assortment of historic U.S. coins on display and learning the basics of numismatics. Come in and show off your own collection or talk coins with other collectors. Parents are encouraged to bring their kids to get them interested in the hobby of coin collecting. Free coffee and refreshments are offered. 10 am-4 pm

Lab Rats for ages 5-11 at Vancouver Community Library, 901 C St., Vancouver. Self-guided family science exploration. 3:30-5:30 pm

7 FRIDAY

Toddler Tunes Story Time at Battle Ground Community Library, 1207 SE 8th Way, Battle Ground. Stories, songs, finger rhymes, and playtime for ages 1-3 and accompanying adult. 9:30 am & 10:30 am

Come talk numismatics at the Antique Coin Bonanza! 26

8 SATURDAY

Spanish Story Time at Camas Library, 625 NE 4th Ave., Camas. Stories, chants, songs and more in Spanish, for ages infant-age 5 and caregivers. 11 -11:30 am

First Friday Art Walk in downtown Vancouver. Every first Friday of the month throughout the year, participating art galleries, merchants and restaurants in downtown Vancouver open their doors to celebrate opening night of various art exhibits. Live music and citywide receptions welcome all. Visit the http://vdausa.org/ art-walk/ for more information and a downtown art gallery list and walking map.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Check out our website for even mo re local events .

Teen ‘Scape at Vancouver Community Library, 901 C St., Vancouver. Need to unwind after a long week? Play Rock Band or Kinect, eat snacks, and hang out. 3-5 pm

New Seasons Market, 2100B SE 164th Ave., Vancouver. 10 am

Come and Play on Saturday at Three Creeks Community Library. (See Feb. 1) 10 am-12 pm Second Saturdays at the Water Resources Education Center, 4600 SE Columbia Way,

AT - SU

8-9

Build It! at Vancouver Community Library, 901 C St., Vancouver. Drop in for creative construction with LEGO bricks, Clics, K’nex and other fun building toys. For children ages 5-11. 3:30-5:30 pm

5 WEDNESDAY

activities

S M T W T F S 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28

continued on page 28

EvErgrEEn PEdiatric clinic

PeaceHealth Southwest Medical Center Legacy Salmon Creek Hospital We are pleased to announce Evergreen Pediatric Clinic willSuite open370 505 NE 87th Avenue, Suite 120 2101 NE 139th Street, a second office in the Salmon Creek area in 2011! Vancouver, 98664 Vancouver, 98686

We are accessible to you every day!

New location in the Legacy Salmon Creek Medical Office Building. We will continue to offer the same excellent care at our current location near Southwest Washington Medical Center.

• Phone advice line available 24/7 • Compassionate, comprehensive care Main Office • Open 7 days a week • Weekday evenings open until 7 p.m. • Sat. & Sun. morning for Urgent Care Salmon Creek Office • Monday - Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Call us today (360) 892-1635 www.evergreenpediatrics.com

Caring for infants, children and adolescents in the Vancouver area for more than 25 years! Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

Calendar of Events & Activities (cont'd)

Showtime Movie Matinee at Battle Ground Community Library, 1207 SE 8th Way, Battle Ground. Movie title hint: The magically longhaired Rapunzel has spent her entire life in a tower, but now that a runaway thief has stumbled upon her, she is about to discover the world for the first time, and who she really is. Popcorn will be served. 3 pm Parents’ Night Out every Saturday at Naydenov Gymnastics. (See Feb. 1) 6-11 pm

9 SUNDAY

Antique Coin Bonanza at NW Plaza. (See Feb. 8) 10 am-4 pm

11 TUESDAY

Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. (See Feb. 4) 10:30 am Little Cups and Grownups Story time. (See Feb. 4) 10:30 am Build It! at Vancouver Community Library. (See Feb. 4) 3:30-5:30 pm Children’s Valentine’s Day Crafts at Battle Ground Community Library, 1207 SE 8th Way, Battle Ground. Roses are red, violets are blue, someone is waiting for a special Valentine from you! Kids, drop by to create a beautiful Valentine for your someone special! All supplies provided. 3:30-5:30 pm

Santé Mama New Parent Support Group at New Seasons Market. (See Feb. 5) 10 am Russian Story Time at Camas Library. (See Feb. 5) 10:15-10:45 am

Photo counrtesy of CW Parent Co-op Preschool

12 WEDNESDAY

URSD

Vancouver. Each second Saturday of the month, kids and their families are invited to explore a different topic through handson activities, games and stories. February theme: Show your love for trees! Trees are special, even those that have lost their leaves for the winter. Enjoy making various crafts from different parts of a tree. Families are invited to come find out. Children must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. 1-3 pm

continued from page 26

Learn about early education opportunities at the Camas Washougal Parent Co-op Preschool Open House

Spanish Story Time at Camas Library. (See Feb. 5) 11-11:30 am Stories from The Twilight Zone at Vancouver Community Library, 901 C St., Vancouver. Readings of short stories from that realm of imagination called . . . the Twilight Zone. 6:30-7:30 pm

14 FRIDAY

Toddler Tunes Story Time at Battle Ground Community Library. (See Feb. 7) 9:30 am & 10:30 am Teen ‘Scape at Vancouver Community Library. (See Feb. 7) 3-5 pm

15 SATURDAY

Come and Play on Saturday at Three Creeks Community Library. (See Feb. 1) 10 am-12 pm Let the Wild Rumpus Start at Cascade Park Community Library, 600 NE 136th Ave., Vancouver. A craft program based on Maurice Sendak’s “Where The Wild Things Are.” 3-4:30 pm Parents’ Night Out every Saturday at Naydenov Gymnastics. (See Feb. 1) 6-11 pm

18 TUESDAY

Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. (See Feb. 4) 10:30 am

Little Cups and Grownups Story time. (See Feb. 4) 10:30 am Build It! at Vancouver Community Library. (See Feb. 4) 3:30-5:30 pm Stupid Cupid at Cascade Park Community Library, 600 NE 136th Ave., Vancouver. Teens: enjoy a heartbreakingly good time. Dress in black if you can and enjoy treats, crafts, fun activities and a totally awesome anti-Valentine’s Day party. 5-6 pm

19 WEDNESDAY

Santé Mama New Parent Support Group at New Seasons Market. (See Feb. 5) 10 am Russian Story Time at Camas Library. (See Feb. 5) 10:15-10:45 am Spanish Story Time at Camas Library. (See Feb. 5) 11-11:30 am

20 THURSDAY

Camas Washougal Parent Co-op Preschool Open House, 1206 NE Birch St., Camas. Bring your children and learn about Camas’s oldest cooperative preschool. Visit the classrooms, meet the teachers and see why so many families have chosen the Co-op for their child’s early education. Call 360-834-6244 or email registrar@cwcoop. org for more information. 5:30-7:30 pm continued on page 30

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • February 2014

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Women's Health

Reducing Stress LocalBusinessSpotlight:

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2010

Proudly Presents the

8th Annual

March 8th, 2014 at Westfield Vancouver Mall

10 a.m. - 3 p.m. FREE FAMILY EVENT

Face Painting, Balloon Art, Dance Performances, Martial Arts Demonstrations, Activities, Prizes, Games, and More!