ISSUE 1411 | FEB 01, 2019
THE
HEALTH DAY
ECHO
FREE WEEKLY GUIDE TO VAL D’ISERE
M A G A Z I N E
SHOOTING THE SHRED
SPROG SEASON
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COVER ART By Jase Butterworth Interview: Page 10
PROUDLY PRESENTED BY THE FOLIE DOUCE ART PROJECT Each week, the front cover of The Echo is going to be a different artwork produced by mostly local artists, but also several from further afield. This project is being very generously supported by La Folie Douce, whose contribution is allowing the artists to be paid ahead of time for their work, as both Folie and The Echo firmly believe in paying people for their skills.
If you’re interested in drawing/painting/ collaging/ creating something in whatever medium takes your fancy, please get in touch by emailing contact@valecho.co.uk and we can discuss. Equally, if you’re interested in writing for the magazine or have ideas for a feature, drop us a line. At the end of the season, the plan is to
We want to encourage a community of creators and give people a space to use their talents, even if whilst out here, many are taking a break from “regular life”. Prints of the artwork are available to purchase on The Echo website, www. valecho.co.uk/shop, with profits going to the artists.
hold an exhibition of all The Echo covers from the winter, and again Folie Douce is supporting this endeavour, as it fits with their creative vision. We can’t wait to see what the artists come up with each week and look forward to talking to them about their work and life in or out of the mountains.
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CONT ENTS
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Echo Publications CCK Intergalactic Ltd
www.valecho.co.uk contact@valecho.co.uk Please recycle the magazine once you have read it. Or better still, hand it on to someone else. Contributors: Sam Box, Ben Pryor, Caitlin Kennedy, Al & Abi Nasmyth
26 SHOOTING THE SHRED Tips and tricks on how to improve your on snow photography from non-expert, Sam Box
32 EVENT GUIDE What’s on this week: - Town events - Bar nights - Sporting competitions
34 HEALTH DAY The Vie Val d’Is organises an annual day of check-ups and appointments with health professionals, totally free of charge. Here’s everything you need to know before you go.
40 SPROG SEASON 06
RESORT GUIDE
The down-low on everything from the best restaurants to the numbers to call in an emergency
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SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST
Notes from the Nursery Slops as Al and Abi Nasmyth navigate season life with a little one.
p o w e r e d
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We chat to Jase Butterworth, the designer of this week’s cover art. The Echo’s cover is generously sponsored by La Folie Douce
14 OUT OF THE BUBBLE A satirical spin on the week’s events from further afield than the Espace Killy
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LEGENDS OF VAL A deadly serious interview with our Seasonaire of the Week. This week, Zac Mann takes to the limelight.
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SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST Artist: Jase Butterworth
10 Right. Are you any good at Shut the Box? I am probably the greatest of all time. I actually have an app to play on the go. Jase proceeds to beat me 17-3. How did you learn to do chalk art? I used to work in country pubs so I did a lot there. I also drew some here in the summer for Hibou and now I do boards for Arctic. What other art do you do? Not much any more, I used to do a lot of street art though. I got in trouble with the police for spray painting on the town hall once. They didn’t catch me doing it; I had painted myself with my thumb up so it was a bit obvious.
Tell us about your cover. It is basically inspired by the things you see in Val: Shut the Box - classic game, dogs, being sat in a bar on the mountain. All the nice things!
What artistic work would you like to do more of? It’s a different type of art but I would like to do more videography work. However, the editing takes a long time and I am my own worst critic. I will post a video and take it down a week later because I am unhappy with it.
Awww, we love dogs too! Yeah they’ve become mini celebs in the area. I spent the summer here so I took peoples’ Why is your art so good but your tattoos dogs for walks quite often. so bad? I knew this was coming. In the summer, we Favourite dog in Val? bought a tattoo gun from China for twenty Probably Tikki because he is the easiest. He quid. Everyone came back to my flat after just sits there and does nothing. a party one time, I was pretty drunk and tattooed “girt” on my knuckles. I have come Do you have a pet? to love it but my mum cried when I showed I have a tortoise at home in the UK, he is her. I did actually throw away the gun asleep in my fridge at the moment. immediately after. The ones on my feet say “westcountry havin it” but I didn’t do those. What? Yeah I put him in a casserole pot before I Which dog in your picture best represents came out and popped him in the fridge, I’ll you? wake him up when I get back. I didn’t draw any sleeping so probably the one winning Shut the Box.
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PLANKS PHOTO COMPETITION
Each week the winner of the Planks Photo Competition wins themselves a Planks beanie from the flagship store in town. Prize must be collected within a week of winning. This week’s winner: Kyle Abott Enter at www.valecho.co.uk/competitions
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OUT OF THE BUBBLE By Ben Pryor
Theresa gonebyMay continues to try and salvage her Chequered Brexit. Concluding that backing the Brady amendment for ‘alternative arrangements’ to the Irish backstop is Parliament’s path of least resistance, it’s back to Brussels to continue her 1 against 27 staring match. Thankfully the denouement to whatever was agreed in Mrs Merkel’s boudoir on the 5th July last year approaches. Parliament’s second meaningful vote is the 14th Feb: ten days frantic negotiations, two days sightseeing, an hour for the press conference to champion the well-chosen euphemism the backstop will henceforth be known as, with
14 sufficient ambiguity of language to squeeze it past the DUP/ERG, and back to Blighty to title it the Valentine’s Day agreement. The Jeremy finally met the PM on Wednesday afternoon, in her Commons office to avoid him sizing up 10 Downing Street for a set of red curtains, continuing to recommend a customs union the EU have ruled out. Anything to divert focus from Fiona Onasanya becoming the first sitting MP to go to prison in 28 years. The US government re-opened for three weeks, after the Donald backed down over funding for the Great Wall of Mexico. The US is currently dealing with temperatures of -40 in parts of the Midwest due to a polar vortex which has claimed eight lives. -40 coincidentally also the approximate air temperature when the Duchesses of Cambridge and Sussex are in the same room.
15 The situation in Venezuela further deteriorates, with President Maduro placing a travel ban on opposition leader Juan Guaidó, who claims to have met military leaders currently keeping Maduro in power to discuss replacing him. The US, Europe and South America support Mr Guaidó. China and Russia, heavily invested in Venezuela, support the President. Before this proxy war kicks off, can someone get them to take a look at Syria as a crystal ball for how this ends. Yet another example of no situation being improved by the phrase, ‘let’s send some white guys in’. Vegetarian customers have expressed outrage after finding chicken nuggets in McDonald’s veggie wraps sold as meatfree; remote chance their chicken nuggets actually contain meat probably gives them the benefit of the doubt. A man’s
penis cracked and ‘swelled to the size of a wine bottle’ after he fractured it during intercourse; was it was more Black Tower, Blue Nun or Screaming Eagle? An AI expert has warned sex robots could spark a birth rate catastrophe in Japan in the near future. A man there dated a cockroach for a year until it died, then ate it; they’ve got bigger problems! And finally, the Scottish Green’s Europe spokesman (and, at 24, the youngest MSP) attempted to boost his followers/need for a history lesson by calling Winston Churchill a white supremacist mass murderer on Twitter, prompting Piers Morgan to reply, ‘And you’re a thick, ginger turd who’d be spewing this filth in German if it wasn’t for Churchill.’ So offensive… to find yourself agreeing with Piers. Until next week, I’m off for a nice glass of wine.
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LEGENDS OF VAL
Zac (Le Mann about town) is on his 3rd season in Val and can invariably be found in Fall Line.
18 to my hair colour though because my hair is actually blonde. Some people call me “serial boy kisser” - can’t think why. What do you dream about at night? Not working? All sorts really. I watch a lot of f*cked up shit on Youtube so I have some pretty weird dreams. From where do you originate? I am from Warwickshire and I live about half an hour from Birmingham city centre. Thankfully, now, Peaky Blinders is all the rage and people actually like the accent. Do you wear the flat-caps too? I’m going to have to get one I think. Depends if they have one big enough though. You basically live in Fall Line- who would win in a fight between Ben and Jono? Would they be naked?
State your full name Zachary James Mann Craziest thing you’ve seen in Val? Me winning the Grand Prix. It’s not a big deal. Actually, I take that back, it is a massive deal. No way! Can you give us some tips on how to win? Oh I’m not sharing them, not a chance. Just be on my team. What is the circumference of your head? F*cking huge! It is very big. Have you got a measuring tape? I do have an abnormally large head. Nicknames? Bighead - when someone shouts this across the bar, it can be a bit degrading. Strawbs (Strawberry head) - not a reference
19 Obviously... Would I be naked watching them? Actually that’s probably irrelevant. I reckon Jono has the speed and agility, but if Ben catches him with a big bare knuckle, Jono is a gonner. It would be like David and Goliath…if they were about the same size. I am going with Jono. Henry would get broken and I would hide behind Henry. Thank you for such an in depth and well thought out answer. Now, not that you ever should, but can you floss? (Without saying a word Zac gets up and performs this manoeuvre at a steady pace before announcing) - “I can go quick as well.” We hear you are a rugby player, where do you play? Number 13, outside centre. I would play in the scrum but getting my head in is like getting a melon in an egg box. What do you miss from home? Family and Nando’s. Cheeky Nando’s. Actually don’t put that in, that’s a bit basic. You’re going to put it in aren’t you? No, don’t worry. Snow blades or snow scoot? Definitely snowscoot. Not many people know but I actually used to BMX when I was younger. If you dig deep into my Instagram you can see it along with the awful barnet I was sporting at the time. How can we achieve world peace? Make everyone speak the same way I do, then everyone would be on the lowest level of humanity. Quote to live by? Quiff bigger than my future.
OFF PISTE SNOW REPORT Brought to you by Henry’s Avalanche Talk www.henrysavalanchetalk.com Low-pressure weather systems remain in charge over the Alps until Sunday delivering more snow, especially on Friday and Saturday. Fluctuating temperatures will make for unstable conditions below 2000m. A weak layer makes the snowpack unstable higher up. On Monday, the high pressure kicks in delivering more stable weather. So intermittent sunshine expected from Monday. Possible further snow the following weekend. Instability is predicted for all aspects and altitudes. (Danger rating 4 in Savoie as we write this report). So read the bulletin everyday and make your own observations of avalanche activity. We’ve been enjoying some fantastic offpiste conditions over the last few days. With regular top-ups of fresh snow and continuing cold temperatures, the snow has been light and powdery. Visibility has been variable, but we’ve had some epic off-piste days! Over the last few days, the avalanche risk has sometimes been pushed up to a 4. However, there have not been a lot of avalanche accidents involving humans, as we might have expected. Very sadly, a pisteur was killed by an avalanche on Wednesday whilst patrolling an off-piste
sector in La Plagne. See a report on the PisteHors website. However, at the time of writing, we haven’t heard of any other serious avalanche accidents this week in the N French Alps.
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Don’t let this lead you into assuming everything is safe, though. See Henry’s previous blog: NOTHING HAPPENS… most of the time. Henry warns us that the snowpack has developed a ‘psycho’ nature, and will potentially be very dangerous indeed when we get fresh snow landing on top of it. He likens the current situation to that of the Tignes avalanche in February 2017, killing 4 snowboarders. At that time there wasn’t a lot of avalanche activity going on, and the risk that day was 3 out of 5. In interview, Dominique Létang, Director of ANENA, the French Association for the Study of Snow and Avalanches, referred to a persistent weak layer in the snowpack, which had developed following continued cold temperatures. In other words, the snowpack and cold weather conditions were just like the situation we have now! We’re due significant top-ups of fresh snow and wind-blown accumulations over the next few days. All areas of the N French Alps (i.e. Savoie, Haute-Savoie and Isère) are likely to receive 30 – 60 cm of new snow. All these areas have a problem with persistent weak layers of faceted grains (sugar snow) in their snowpacks. With fresh snow loading up on top of these persistently weak layers, things will really start to kick off. The video and comments that Henry made on Monday will probably be more relevant over the next few days
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than they were when he made them! Off-piste weather
Elysées wearing ‘giletsfor jaunes’ forecast 26 toin30 protest. Macron’s comment, January ‘You cannot be pro-environment on Monday and when Tuesday comes be against rising fuel prices’ SATURDAY 2 FEBRUARY is the kind of irrefutable logic which goes The conditions in the down like a fish milkshake with opponents, mountains improve but should be deployed against those dethe return a few crying Amazon andwith Google for taxof evasion clearings in the morning who wouldn’t forego a free internet search then the clouds come for the cheapest onlineback dealthe in aafternoon month of Sundays. with some snow flurries at 1200-1400
meters. The quantities are close to 5 to Indonesia has 2000 launched a ‘heresy app’ to 15cm around meters. 0C is around reportmeters. anyoneFoehn practicing ‘unorthodox inter1700 and Lombard at 50/60 pretations’ of its recognised religions; well, km / h. pass my lover a bacon sandwich. A teenager matched with his sister on Tinder; yes, SUNDAY ANDthey MONDAY FEBRUARY that does3mean both swiped right 4 and Sunday many clouds and showers will yes they do live in the US. PETA has delinger. It will relief at rather manded the snow villageon ofthe Wool, derived from low altitude. These showers will fade at the the Anglo-Saxon ‘welle’ meaning a water end of the day. its Monday morning or spring, change name to Vegan clouds Wool be-
greyness will give way to thinning. TUESDAY 5 AND WEDNESDAY 6 FEBRUARY cause it ‘promotes cruelty’; same be On Tuesday, early morning crackscould in saidclouds of theirwill abuse ofsome the English language. the allow blue sky. US Coast Guard reported a giant turtle, enWednesday cloudy and clear. meshed in a rope holding 800Kg of cocaine THURSDAY AND FRIDAY 8 FEBRUARY worth £41m;7bet it was Donatello. A former Quiet weather with mist in the morning Miss Moscow, 25, has married Malaysia’s which will dissipate. King Muhammad V, 49, after converting to Islam Tip ofand thetaking week the name Rihana; better hope that heresy app doesn’t get rolled out across thethe region. Observe quality of the snow you find
at different aspects and altitudes. This will you predict which slopes offer Andhelp finally, Poundland’s Christmas advert good snow for skiing and which will be has come under fire for mocking Elton difficult. With the cold temperatures and John’s advert for John Lewis, depicting one a snowpack which is not very thick, a elf orally relieving another sat on which top of his persistent weak layer is forming, piano; wonder if he was singing ‘Canofyou we’ll need to watch out for the rest the Feel the Love Tonight’. Until next week, I’m season. off to drink from a woolly spring.
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SHOOTING THE SHRED Photographing shredder action on the mountain is really fun but there can be a lot to it. Although I’m no expert, here are some starter points on how to improve your on-snow shots. A lot of these tips are applicable to using a phone or a DSLR to get your snaps. However, I recommend that you shoot with a DSLR on manual to get the most control over your photos. FYI when I say skier, you can replace it with boarder/blader/snowshoer or whatever action you want to be shooting; it’s 2019 after all - let’s be inclusive.
Light The most basic element to taking any photograph is looking at the light around you. The main questions you should be asking are; how much light is there, what direction is it coming from and how is it falling on my subject/the rest of the frame? You can go much deeper into how light behaves and the best time of day to shoot etc but these are arguably the most important factors.
no visibility, no contrast and no shadows so your subject may appear to be skiing in a cloud (which they are). There is not a lot you can do in this situation but shooting in trees can give your shots some definition.
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Background Putting some consideration into your background can make all the difference in these types of shots. Try to avoid having your subject against dark colours like trees, rocks etc. They will stand out much more against a lighter, uncluttered background i.e the sky or snow. Conversely, if your subject is in the shade and the background is really bright, your eye is going to be drawn to the background and it likely isn’t going to be a great shot. Composition There is lots of interesting terrain about that you can use to create an interesting composition. Use rocks, trees, or whatever you can find to spice up your image. If you are shooting jumps, drops or rails, a good rule to follow is to try and get the take off and landing in the frame to give the shot some perspective. You have probably seen ‘guy in the sky” photographs, as they are known, where a skier is pictured solely against the sky. Although novel, these photographs show no scale, the subject could be 2 or 200 foot off the ground and there is usually too much negative space to make the composition interesting.
Focus How you focus your shot depends on what you are photographing. If you are shooting Conditions someone hitting a jump, I recommend preNow you are looking at the light, you may focusing on the point where you predict notice that there is none. Shooting in a white-out is really hard as there is obviously the peak of their aerial manoeuvre will be
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then flicking the lens to manual AF. This way the plane of focus you have chosen won’t change when you push the button to take the shot. If you are trying to focus on a shredder the whole way down a run, you will need to use continuous autofocus and try to keep your focus point on them. For either of these, I definitely recommend starting out at an aperture of at least f8. Since skiers are moving so fast: getting shots where they are in focus is much harder at lower apertures.
Shutterspeed Leading on from my last point; to avoid motion blur, you will need a fairly high shutter speed. Although it does depend on what you are shooting, try to aim for 1/1000s or higher to not be disappointed. When shooting in the sun there is a serious abundance of light as it is also bouncing back off the snow. You should be able to keep a high shutter speed, have a comfortably large aperture and keep your ISO fairly low. Gear care If you are taking a DSLR out, have a sturdy camera bag that will protect it if you were to take a tumble. It sounds obvious but, when you are shooting, zip up your camera bag and maybe even pop it on your back. People coming down the slope aren’t thinking about your camera gear when they are spraying snow everywhere. Maybe the most useful thing in my bag, bar the camera itself, is a tiny travel towel to dry off my gear when it gets wet. That little thing has saved my camera more than once! There are, of course, exceptions to all of the rules and concepts I have talked about here. We have had some great entries for the Planks photo competition (see page 12) in the first half of the season but we would love to see more! So remember the points in this article, take your camera or phone out on the mountain and send us some snaps! I post a lot of on-snow photographs on my Insta (@boxlord) and of course on @thevalecho . There will be an article containing slightly more advanced tips coming in a future edition of The Echo!
Thanks for reading, Sam xxx
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2ND 6 NATIONS - Scotland v Italy 15:15 Ireland v England 17:45. Shown in Fall Line, Blue Note, Hibou, Danois, Moris... Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Queens of the Snow Stage Victors - Seasonaire Saturdays. Tacos & Tequila. Petit Danois - Live Music - Joe & Will 5pm Le Lodge - DJ K2 11:30pm-1:30am Dick’s Tea Bar- Industry Night w DJ Megan (Music - Glitter Box) Moris - 2 for 1 1080s. 1/2 price Chicken Wings
3RD
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La Folie Douce - Super Bowl Final - Join us to celebrate all things American Le Hibou - Curry Night - Curry & A Pint/Glass of wine for only €15. Served 14.30 - 21.30. Bananas - Disco/Funk/House Night w B2B DJs Rob & Oscar Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Hobo Chic Blue Note - Cheap Cocktails. 22h-23.30h Petit Danois - Live Apres Music: Mardy Johnny Depps 5pm Moris - Toss the Boss. 22h-00h
Saloon - DJ Raze Arctic - Wknd Midday Refuel: Soul Bowl/Sandwich plus a latté for only 10€ (+2€ to add juice)
Next Bar - Techno Sunday with DJ Azrel+guest Saloon - Apres Live music: Mullit & The Machine 17h-19h, DJ Raze 22h30 Doudoune- Sunday Mashup by So Acclaimed
Doudoune - Vintage Fever by Kelian Marques
Dick’s Tea Bar - Dirty Sunday w Alex Marshall
6TH Saloon- Live: Big mountain 17-19 & Joss 3€
Cocorico - Après Live M
La Folie Douce - WTF Weekly costume party
La Folie Douce -La Fol Find the treasure to win
Cocorico - Après Live Music: The Blazin’ Strings Le Hibou - Wings Wednesday IN TOWN - Free Cross Country Relay Ski Race 18.30. Prizes for winners. Vin chaud for all. Arctic - Local’s Breakfast: Porridge + Latte 8€ Next Bar - Rom One (Bass Music) Bananas - Garage & Bassline Night - B2B DJs. Dan & Lorien
Victors -Hip Hop Thur
Petit Danois - Live music - Gallie 5pm Moris - Live Music: 8PM onwards - Hobo Chic. Evening- Tenacious Ski Dick’s Tea Bar - After Dinner Club w/ Pocket Size Dave, Sophia and Alex (Violin and Sax) Doudoune- Hip Hop & Urban w Kelian Marques
IN TOWN - Airstar Nig entertainment and free
Saloon - Open Decks 2
Petit Danois- Live Mus
Moris - Toffee Thursday Mullit & The Machine. E
Dick’s Tea Bar - LUNA James Mac (House/ De
Doudoune- Ladies Nig
COCORICO - 2-4pm Happy Hour, Live Music every day from BLUE NOTE - Happy Hour with Hot Gin and Nibbles from 3 to 6pm FALL LINE - Happy Hour 3-5pm PETIT DANOIS - Happy Hour 2 for 1 on Beers and Drinks 4-5pm & 9-10pm. BANANAS - Seasonaire Menu: 3 Courses and a beer/wine/soft drink for €20 Happy Hours 18.30-19.30 and 22.30 TDC - TDCski expeditions are gearing up to go adventuring in Kyrgystan!Trip runs 7th Feb 2019 for 10 days. Check out the details - https://www.tdc-expeditio
4TH
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5TH
La Folie Douce - Discopolis - Back to the roots of house music Arctic - Juice Pump - Do 30 Push Ups and get 50% off Juice or Coffee
Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: The Trends
Cocorico - Après Live Music: Blazin’ Strings
CCAS. Open & free for musicians with VVD card
Saloon -Journey into DnB with Pocket Sized Dave Vie Val d’Is - Weekly Language Exchange. Free French lesson for VVD card holders at 8pm Petit Danois - Live Music - Mullit & The Machine 5pm Moris - 2 for 1 Burgers. Live Music: Apres- Max Whittal. Evening- Goldbeat Next Bar - Guest DJ Yaniss Odua (reggae/ dancehall/dub)- entry 10€
Petit Danois - Live: The Revolverlites 5pm
Doudoune - Crazy Monday by Kevin Delmix Dick’s Tea Bar - Resident DJ’s Megan and Alex Marshall (Music - House)
7TH
Music: Wingman
lie Douce Treasure Hunt n a prize
Bananas - House & Tech night DJ Max Leaver Vie Val d’Is - Jam session from 8pm at the
Victors - Funky Tuesdays with DJ Joblime Arctic - Tag us in what you’ve been fuelled to explore. Best picture = free juice. Moris-Tequila Tuesday. Live Music: Après- Daisy B & Tom. Evening- Chop Shop Le Hibou - Live music with Joe Briddon and Will Curry Saloon- Seasonaire Party Doudoune- Shit Disco Seasonaire’s Party Dicks Tea Bar - Techno Tuesday w Megan
8TH Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Pink Miami
rsdays with DJ Wanne
Le Hibou - Prosecco Fridays with Prosecco Cocktails for €5.50
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Petit Danois - Live Music Karen & Andreas 5pm
sic - The Guinea Pigs 5pm
ys! Live Music: Après Evening - Blazing Strings
ght. Light show, street e vin chaud on main street
Dicks Tea Bar - After Dinner Club with Pocket
Sized Dave accompanied by Sax and Violin
Moris - Fizz Friday €20 Prosecco. Live Music: Evening- The Trends
Thursday with Guest eep House/Tech House)
Next Bar - Kabba Selecta & Youri
ght by Kevin Delmix
Doudoune - Clubbing Night by Kelian Marques
UNDERGROUND - Après Ski Tapas from 5pm LE PETIT CUISINE - Daily 12 - 3pm - Seasonaire Meal Deal VICTORS - Cocktail Hour 9-11pm LE LODGE - Happy Hour 4:30-7:30pm €4 large beer SALOON - 3-6pm Happy Hour 2 for 1 on beer wine and more. TDC - Special offer next week for our clinics: 3 half days for 200€, 5 half days for 320€. Development (red run skiers), Discovery (blue run skiers) and Off-Piste Adventure (experienced off piste skiers). ons.com/
VIE VAL D’IS HEALTH DAY It’s an inescapable truth for most seasonaires that your health takes a hit out here. There are bugs abound and cramped living conditions mean they spread like wildfire. Add to that the altitude, which makes it harder to heal, plus the cost of vegetables and your immune system doesn’t stand a chance. All in all, your poor body is working like a hamster in a wheel just to keep you ticking over and able to crawl to Cocos for one more rendition of Sweet Caroline. If you feel like a broken shell of a human, it’s probably because you are. Luckily the Vie Val d’Is are here to fix you up, stick you back together again and do it all for free. For the Brits out here, without the friendly helping hand of the NHS, a lot of trips to the doctor are avoided for fear of stacking up a hefty bill. This is where Health Day comes in. For all the gripes and groans that have built up since the beginning of the season, you can see a professional without any charges and totally anonymously. Had unprotected sex one time and can’t remember their name, let alone their sexual history? No biggy, all STI testing can be carried out on site. Fell over on the hill of death trying to get to PDs and now can’t feel your lower body? The osteopath will sort you out.
34 part of the problem- we’re showing the best 10% of people’s lives out here. But we’re well aware that the rest of the time, it is hard graft and tiredness. If you’ve been feeling low, anxious or just not 100% in the mental health department, first of all, it’s not just you; there are a lot of people struggling out here. Secondly, get help and talk about it. It might not solve everything straight away, but getting everything off your chest by talking to a psychologist could really ease the strain. The psychologist and addiction specialist that are here for Health Day are fluent in English and completely confidential. Other than what has already been mentioned the day includes screenings for aids, hepatitis and skin cancer, dermatology, dietetics, contraception and gynaecology. A dentist will also be available. Book in for whichever specialists you require on the day and just turn up any time from 12.30 to 6pm on Tuesday 5th February at the Maison de Val, which you’ll find next to the Aquasport Leisure Centre. Don’t be embarrassed, it’s far better to get these things sorted and know you’re in the clear health-wise. Bring a friend, bring a lover, bring a roommate! Appointments are available for anyone with a Vie Val d’Is card and their families. It should be noted however, that any further appointments or treatments needed will not be free. Test results can be picked up from the same place on the 12th February.
Onto a more serious note, Val d’Isère can be god-awful if you’re not having the best time ever all the time. It’s incredibly intense here and often feels like you’re not allowed to be feeling low, because look at all the Happy Health Day Folks! fun everyone else is having! The Echo is
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SPROG SEASON Updates from Abi and Al as they take their baby on a ski season.
Al: As everyone is probably well aware, space is at a premium in ski resorts but somehow we’ve managed to Tetris enough space in our apartment to turn our living room into a small pram race track. I’ll explain. Unlike adults, when babies are tired and need to sleep, the last thing they want to do is be put to bed (I know I’ve made this analogy before but much like a drunk). So one of the ways we’ve hit on to get a break from parenting is by popping him in the pram and racing round the living room in a figure of eight until either he falls asleep or we feel sick. We can then use the resulting peaceful hour to clean up all the dirt the pram has left on the floor and not quite take a nap when he inevitably wakes up early! We have tried other tactics. The older
generation tells tales of how they would 40 let their children cry themselves to sleep but sadly whoever built the walls in our apartment seems to have used something only slightly more soundproof than paper, so it’s not really fair on the neighbours. I often get asked how much sleep I am getting. I’m not sure if this is because I have such a haggard look that even with my goggles on, people can see the strain or if they are just gloating about their baby free existence. So for those who are curious or just like to gloat, here is a typical evening. Dummy in, dummy out. Dummy in, dummy out. Why did you take your dummy out? Especially as you are now crying. And who taught you that co-ordination to take it out of your own mouth!? The least you could do is put it back in yourself. Not fling it halfway across the room causing me to stand on it as I come in and almost give myself the worst ski season injury in 12 years. I don’t even have the excuse of being drunk (which according to my personal research is responsible for at least 75% of seasonaire injuries)! Look pal! I’ve got to go to work in 3 hours and as comfy as some of the lifts are, I’d rather not be using them to catch up on sleep. Wait, now he’s smiling at me. Why are you smiling? Did you plan this all along? Have I just been outsmarted by a 5 month old baby who thinks something stops existing when he can’t see it any more? Ha! That’s the answer: I’ll just move out of his view and he’ll fall asleep. The tables have turned little one. Who’s the smart one now… Oh wait he’s crying again. Right I have all the wealth of knowledge of the internet at my disposal, surely there must be some answers there. Google, how many sleeping tablets can a baby take? Oh turns out none. Valium? Same answer. Google: How do I get my baby to sleep? Sleep training blah blah blah, daily routine. Hmm doesn’t mention morning
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splitboarding or Apres Ski.
Abi: This month was Pizzagate. Not a recreation of the infamous half time bust up between Arsenal and Man Utd (for those of you who know me and my disinterest in sport, yes I looked that up). In an effort to retain a hold on our social life we went to a birthday lunch a few weeks back. Not only would it remind us about other topics of conversation that didn’t feature the words nappy, sleep or milk heavily but hopefully we could swap with our friends: holding a baby for holding a drink for short periods. All seemed to be going well enough until the food arrived. We forgot that our little man has a much better reach than a few months back and whilst sat on his Daddy’s lap, he decided to try and grab a handful of cheese from the middle of the freshly made pizza! This was not the baby led weaning we had been planning.
Luckily due to the large amount of white wine being consumed there was plenty of ice and cold water around to cool down his palm. At one point I wasn’t sure if he was crying because his hand was too hot or too cold. Luckily no harm was done and he was a happy bunny an hour later. More importantly I can hold this over his father for years to come! We’ve not taken him out for a meal since then. I’m worried about a repeat incident so Angus and myself tend to leave his father at home now (Mums can do Dad jokes too). Ski resorts can be dangerous places for children: freezing temperatures, bad weather, icy paths, French drivers and British drunks. Now we can add four cheese pizzas to that list. For future or current mothers out there, please think about your child’s hands and child proof your pizza with a protective layer of rocket.
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TALK OF THE TOWN
meal. This guy however, has taken the seasonaire diet to a new level. Who knew that the pool noodles they throw out at Folie are actual noodles?
Repetitive Strain Injury
If you’ve been to Saloon, you have almost definitely seen Jay doing his thing behind the decks. However, you may not know that he has a rare medical condition. When he sees a camera, his fingers immediately become rigid and will not relax until he has had a photo. Jay says this is a repetitive strain injury but won’t tell us the cause.
This is our winner of The Echo’s weekly photo comp. From all the Echo photos taken each week, we will choose a winner judged on amusement, originality and ridiculousness. If this is you, email contact@valecho.co.uk to claim your prize!
A Good Ripper
Quote-off
After hearing the upcoming seasonaire of the week’s quote to live by, the current seasonaire of the week, Dan Bridle, decided he had a more accurate way to desribe Zac: “Jeans tighter than Theresa May’s Brexit deal.”
Seasonaire Diet
Some people survive by eating stale baguettes, for others it is plain pasta every
Danny Crompton came out with this perfect imagery whilst commenting that a certain someone couldn’t be that good a skier as he barely ever graces the slopes with his presence: “Not like us, we rip like a fat lad’s pants”.
I’m the Best Skier on the Mountain
Snowberry get some corkers when trying to ascertain how good a skier their customers are. Our favourites: “I ski at 50 to 60 mph” “I’m a Yeti Level 3 if that means anything to you” And the classic: “I ski the Face”. Badly, we’ll bet.
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SPORT Shown at Le Petit Danois:
FOOTBALL
6 NATIONS
Saturday 2nd Feb: Spurs v Newcastle 1.30pm Chelsea v Huddersfield 4pm Cardiff v Bournemouth 6.30pm
Saturday 2nd Feb Scotland v Italy 3.15pm Ireland v England 5.45pm
Sunday 3rd Feb: Leicester v Man Utd 3.05pm Man City v Arsenal 5.30pm
Shown at Le Petit Danois, The Fall Line, Blue Note, The Moris and Le Hibou.
Monday 4th Feb: West Ham v Liverpool 9pm
SEPARATED AT BIRTH
Dash Incredible
Jack from Doudoune
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