March 2016 Valley Woman by Valley Woman

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YOUR DESERT LIFESTYLE

FASHION WEEK 4 top designers 36+ events 8 days

BEST WINE, HOTELS IN NORTHERN ITALY What to do after the lawn is gone

MUST DO: A will

MARCH 2016 VOLUME 3 ISSUE 3

COMPLIMENTARY

The 2016 Subaru Outback.® A 2015 IIHS Top Safety Pick+ with optional EyeSight.® Symmetrical All-Wheel Drive + 33 mpg. Consider all that you hope to get done, done.

Legal Disclaimer: “Purchase or lease any new (previously untitled) Subaru and receive a complimentary factory scheduled maintenance plan for 2 years or 24,000 miles (whichever comes first.) See Subaru Added Security Maintenance Plan for intervals, coverages and limitations. Customer must take delivery before 12-31-16 and reside within the promotional area. At participating dealers only. See dealer for program details and eligibility.”

The all-new 2016 Volvo XC90 takes luxury to a new level - with outstanding advances in connectivity, power, and safety. From the tranquil interior to the strong, confident exterior. Test drive the all-new XC90 today.

Fashion, food, finances figure in our broad desert lifestyle

Building plans have booted Fashion Week’s site upstairs – literally. Its big white tents will offer lofty views from the top level of the parking structure at The Gardens on El Paso.

If you’ve ever traveled in Japan or Southeast Asia and have memories of steamed or fried dumplings, you’ll want to read Pamela Bieri’s review of Talay Thai and Dim Sum Restaurant in Rancho Mirage. It serves Dim Sum on the weekends, another sign of the growing breadth of the Coachella Valley food scene.

Contributors Pamela Bieri, Shirley Brenon, June Allan Corrigan, Reesa Manning, Jorie Parr

Body & Mind

Things your man wishes you knew; What to avoid if you want to keep those pearly whites

Escape 9

The best of Northern Italy’s boutique wineries and luxurious hotels, by Michael Brachman

Publisher Michael Brachman On Target Media www.ontargetmedia.net Editor Jamie Lee Pricer News@otmedia.net

Dollars How a will protects you, your family and your assets, by Reesa Manning; Empower yourself with proper email manners.

And, Shirley Brenon offers thoughts on what to do with your yard once you’ve removed water-gobbling grass.

ON TARGET MEDIA 31855 Date Palm Dr. Ste.3-181 Cathedral City, Ca 92234 (760) 668-2226 www.valleywoman.net

Looks Fashion Week El Paseo rises to new heights with world-class designers and a lofty location, by Jorie Parr

Our financial columnist Reesa Manning reminds us of the importance of wills. If you don’t have one, get one, she advises sternly.

Jamie Lee Pricer News@otmedia.net

Accomplished women make news; Mama’s House shelters pregnant women in need, by June Allan Corrigan; New Thai restaurant serves Dim Sum on weekends, by Pamela Bieri; What to do with your garden after you remove the grass, by Shirley Brenon

You can’t beat Fashion Week El Paseo for upgrading the valley’s appeal. The 2016 event in early April – with world-class designers Marc Bouwer, Michael Costello, Monique Lhullier and Zandra Rhodes – will add to that luster. For one thing, Costello, who now dresses the biggest of big name celebrities, started his career as a teenager in Palm Springs. Locals love to catch up with him, and his “Project Runway” pals.

In our continuing series of stories on women who help women, June Allan Corrigan talks about Mama’s House. For the past two and a half years the nonprofit has offered professional counseling, mentorship, medical care and other services to pregnant women in need.

Current

Calendar 8

Advisory Board Joan Boiko, Heather Coladonato, Carmen Contreras, Nicole Ortiz, Christi Salamone, Elizabeth Scarcella

Sales Manager Anthony Aniasco (760) 668-2226 Anthony@otmedia.net Production Bendani Publishing Client Services (760) 668-2226 cs@otmedia.net Submit your news and ideas to news@otmedia.net

PItti Gola E Cantina, a popular wine bar in Florence, offers indoor and outdoor seating.

Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of information in this publication. Valley Woman cannot guarantee the accuracy of information provided by advertisers, organizations or individual contributors. www.ValleyWoman.net

March | Valley Woman

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NOTED Kristin Bloomer has been selected to serve as secretary/treasurer of the 2016-2017 Desert Water Agency board of directors. Carolyn Caldwell, CEO of Desert Regional Medical Center, was presented the 100 Women Award at the Steve Chase Humanitarian Awards gala for securing a $1.5 million gift from Tenet Corporation, making Tenet the lead sponsor of “Get Tested Coachella Valley. Four women entrepreneurs who graduated in first and second place from “It’s Your Time: An Entrepreneurial Training Series for Woman” were honored by Coachella Valley Women’s Business Center and Citi Bank. They are: Nicole Kahn of Nicole Kahn Photography and Latha Nettmi of XYZ Technology, tied for first; Evangelina Covarrubias of CCM Homes and Magdelena Zepeda of Z Kids Playcare, tied for second. ACSA Region XIX (Association of California School Administrators) has named two Administrators of the Year from Desert Unified School District. They are: Kelly May

Vollmar, Elementary Principal of the Year, Benjamin Franklin Elementary School and Margo McCormick, assistant principal at Indio High School, Secondary Co-Administrator of the Year. Lupe Ramos Watson, Indio City Council member and past Mayor, and District Manager for Assemblyman Brian Nestande, has been named the new Executive Director of ACT for MS by the organization’s Board of Directors.

Mary Ann Andreas, Morongo Tribal Council Vice Chair, was among seven Southern California tribal leaders honored Jan. 30 at a gala recognizing the 20th anniversary of the Tribal Alliance of Sovereign Indian Nations. She was noted for her efforts to secure the rights of all tribal governments to offer gaming on their lands. Palm Springs Unified School District selected Staff Members of the Year,

At its second annual gumbo gala and dinner dance, L-Fund honored Lucy DeBardelaben and Gail Christian of Lucy and Gail Productions for their work in the Coachella Valley’s lesbian community.

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Wendy Jonathan, Desert Sands Unified School District board member, has been nominated to serve on the California School Boards Association’s Delegate Assembly, which decides policy positions for the Association, for the Riverside County area. Barbara Sinatra was honored as the Distinguished Citizen of the Year by the Rancho Mirage Chamber of Commerce.

including: Olivia Castellanos, Confidential Staff Member of the Year Human Resources; Susana Cabeje, Classified Employee of the year School Community Liaison and Ruth Kwake, Counselor the Year Cathedral City High Counselor. Selections were based on letters of nomination from district staff members. Kwake was also named a semi-finalist at the county level.

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March | Valley Woman

WOMEN HELPING WOMEN

Mama’s House Expectant mothers at a loss have somewhere to land in the Coachella Valley By June Allan Corrigan An unplanned pregnancy can be daunting. Without a support network in place, many young women don’t know where to turn. Mama’s House, a home for those in crisis pregnancies, can serve as a refuge. It offers cozy surroundings and a central location, but more importantly it provides structure by way of professional counseling, mentorship, medical care and a variety of other services, all free of cost. The facility has been a godsend to expectant moms who want to carry their babies to term yet face seemingly insurmountable challenges. The caring staff at Mama’s House welcomes new residents and addresses their physical, emotional and spiritual needs first and foremost. A long range plan to focus on their vocational needs is put in place as well.

At Mama’s House, vulnerable women are given the opportunity to gain the tools and strength to make the decision that’s right for them regarding the fate of their unborn child – whether they choose to parent themselves or place the child in a loving family through adoption. New beginnings Jan Lupia founded Mama’s House two and half years ago. “I just love babies but I also have a real passion to help women, especially those who are broken and hurting. Some of the women who come through our program – this becomes home to them. Some of them have literally never really had a home,” she says. Potential residents must meet certain requirements. They must be at least 18 years of age, for instance. They also must be drug and alcohol

A new mother celebrates her twins at Mama's House. Provided photo

free for a period of time, and not be fleeing a current domestic violence situation. However, Mama’s House does collaborate with other homes and shelters in the area that do deal with these issues and works with them to find a solution. “Mama’s House recognizes that women can get off track. As long

as someone is wanting to change, there are people – I’m just one of many – who want to give these women the opportunity,” says Lupia. She’s careful to point out her nonprofit organization is not providing a hand-out, but rather a hand-up. “They have to have that inner desire, that determination to turn their lives around.”

Save water, save money We’re all in this together and we must continue to save water. State restrictions are still in effect. Fines could be imposed for not complying.

Thanks for saving, Keep up the good work!

Outdoor irrigation is prohibited on Mondays and Thursdays, from Dec. 1 through March 31.

Use a hose with a shut-off nozzle when washing your vehicle or windows.

Repair broken sprinklers within 24 hours of notification.

Fix or adjust irrigation systems that cause water runoff.

Serve water in restaurants only upon request.

For a complete list of restrictions visit www.cvwd.org/ CVsaving36

Stay connected with us! (760) 398-2651 www.cvwd.org Coachella Valley Water District

March | Valley Woman

www.ValleyWoman.net

WOMEN HELPING WOMEN

A bright future all around Despite being a relatively young organization, Mama’s House has garnered considerable interest and support from the community. Close to 1,000 people attended its third annual fundraising luncheon in January and plans are already in the works for next year’s function. Proceeds from these events plus the two grants it has managed to obtain thus far will enable Mama’s House to continue with its plans to expand and add more beds. “You simply can’t tell a woman in a crisis situation, we’re going to put you on a waiting list,” said Lupia. Many of the women Mama’s House has helped are more than happy to tell their tale – and the success stories are piling up. “We’re witnessing what a tremendous impact we can make on these women’s lives,” Lupia says. “Not only that, we’re impacting generations. Because what they’re learning and what they’re coming to be will influence the lives of their children and their family.” To donate and/or volunteer: themamashouse.org, (760) 848-8185

YOU CAN HELP WOMEN THRIVE Hike a scenic trail in the Indian Canyons, enjoy a luncheon or watch runway fashions --- they’re all activities in the desert’s spring season that benefit women. Here’s a selection. MARCH 6 18th annual Hike4Hope: 6 a.m.noon. Hikes of various lengths, levels of difficulty. Indian Canyons, end of South Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs. $25-$35. Hike4hope.com, (760) 779-1801. Benefits cancer research, treatment at City of Hope. 11 Palm Springs Women’s Press Club Luncheon: Noon-2:30 p.m. Clubhouse at Springs Country Club, Rancho Mirage. $25. (760) 8625373. Benefits club’s scholarship program. 15 National League of American Pen Women: Luncheon with guest speaker editorial director Julie Sinclair. 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Desert

Falls Country Club, Palm Desert. Reservations at pspenwomen.org, (209) 872-5673. Benefits league’s scholarship program. 20 Running Wild for Hope: 5K run/walk. Baby Jogger event for mom and dad, Doggie Dash for Fido. 8 a.m. Ruth Hardy Park, 700 Tamarisk Lane, Palm Springs. $25$40. Runningwild4hope.org, (760) 779-1801. Benefits cancer research, treatment at City of Hope.

at The Gardens on El Paseo, 73-545 El Paseo. Fashionweekelpaseo.com, Girlfriendfactor.org, (760) 772-9594. Benefits Girl Friend Factor’s education grants for women in need.

20 Tribute to Gilda Radner: Evening of fun by Dusty Wings of the Desert., O’Donnell Golf Club, 301 N. Belardo Road, Palm Springs. (760) 341-5519. Benefits Gilda’s Club Desert Cities.

5 Put Your Best Shoe Forward: Fashion show, luncheon. 11 a.m.1:30 p.m. Kaiser Grille, 74-040 Highway 111, Palm Desert. $75$85. Bfcloset.org, (760) 776-9975. Benefits Desert Best Friend’s Closet.

14 6th annual Friends of Gilda’s Club luncheon, boutique: 11:30 4 El Paseo Rocks: Fashion show a.m.-3 p.m. Sierra Ballroom, Sun spotlights 10 El Paseo shopping City Palm Desert, 38-180 Del destinations. 7 p.m. cocktails, 8 p.m. Blvd., Palm Desert. $55. TO$75, THE VER TIStents, ER: Webb show. $90.AD Fashion Week gildasclubdesertcities.org, (760) 771Thisside is aaupper prooflevel of your your ad deck that will will west parking This is proof of ad that 5182. Benefits Gilda’s Club programs. appear pear in in the the Beacon.. ap APRIL

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Client will pro vide camera-ready Client will pro vide camera-ready Client will pro aa camera-ready Please call (760) 668-2226 foraguid Client will pro vide avide camera-ready Client ance. will provide a camera-ready (sub ject deadlines). This program was recently as a through the Ash ad in for ad in to time time for recognized publication. in for publication. ad ad in time time for publication. publication. ad in time for publication. Please call (760) 668-2226 for guid PLEASE RETURN THIS PROOF. Please call (760) 668-2226 668-2226 guid Please call (760) -Please callfor (760) 668-2226 forInnovation guid -for guid Please call (760) 668-2226 for guid -for Center Governance and at Harvard Kennedy School. ADRC of RIVERSIDE COUNTY NOT APPROVED; CAMERAUNRETURNED PROOFS ARE ance.❐ ance. ance. ance. ance. CONSIDERED “APPROVED AS IS.” READY ART TO COME — www.ValleyWoman.net March | Valley Woman 7

PLEASE RETURN THIS PROOF.

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This front yard was changed from flat gravel to boulders and hills and once the plants are established the ground will be covered with DG’s. The chosen plants will be an appropriate size at maturity, which includes Carissa, little John bottle brush, elephant food, coral fountain, red yucca, desert spoon and crown of thorns. Photo by Shirley Brenon

GARDEN

After the grass is gone

Tips for re-landscaping your garden By Shirley Brenon Residents have finally figured out that you can’t grow peonies here in the desert and that front lawns are a thing of the past. So what to do now?

• Leave room so plants can grow to their mature size.

• First, make a plan and don’t take on more than you can handle.

Here are some suggestions for hardscape and low-water plants that are appropriate for our desert. If you want some drama then start with large boulders combined with medium ones and then graduate down to rubble, gravel and then finally decomposed granite (DG’s).

• Hire someone to dig or cover lawn to be removed with several thicknesses of wet newspaper for about three months. Next Rototill and rake out the roots. • Plant boulders like you plant any plant. Don’t just plop them down. • Consider the height of plants and then tier down.

• New plants need more water until they are established.

In areas of drought or dry climates, DG is a smart alternative for lawns. It’s composed of tiny pieces of granite,

ranging from sand-sized to 1/4 inch in diameter. Colors can be soft gold, yellow ocher, gray or a reddish brown Make a list of plants you may want to include in your garden and then check gardening books or the internet for sizes of plants and times when they bloom. Choose plants that bloom when you are in residence. Don’t choose winter bloomers if you won’t be here and let your beds lie fallow if summers take you away. If you want yellow flowers in February and March, plant Encelia (brittle bush). Red yucca will appear in April and the Mexican birds begin to flower in May and throughout the summer. Smaller low water favorites include desert marigold, Angelita daisy and Salvia in a variety of colors. Appropriate ground covers include Dalea greggii and Gazanias. Citrus care Now let’s turn to our citrus trees and ways to keep them healthy. Mulching around the trees helps to hold in the moisture so you only need to water once a month when temperatures

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are lower and then every two weeks during hot weather. You can still plant citrus until April but chose a well-drained area of your garden. Don’t expect fruit if you prune heavily. If you are going to prune, then only prune out the crossed branches, suckers and diseased sections. Apply nitrogen fertilizers during flowering and fruit set, which is January, February and March. Get that done right away as excess nitrogen late in the season causes coarser fruit, sensitizes the tree and fruit to cold and delays fruit maturity. It is easy to figure out the code on a package of fertilizer. If it says 2-6-6 then the first number is nitrogen which provides green foliage and good growth. The second number is phosphorus which enhances flower and root development. The last number is potassium, which allows for sturdy stalks and stems and increases resistance to fungal diseases. Information: Deserthorticulturalsociety.org

www.cvwbc.org

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WINE & DINE

Thai restaurant serves Dim Sum on weekends By Pamela Bieri The new Talay Thai and Dim Sum Restaurant that opened recently in the former Biga’s and Left Bank spot on Rancho Mirage’s restaurant row is already creating a positive buzz. We popped one evening to discover some old friends: Executive chef “Charlie” and general manager Ally Butrlakorn are the creative team managing this family-owned restaurant. Owner is Srisakorn Iamsathit. The Butrlakorns have developed several popular Thai and Chinese eateries in Palm Desert and La Quinta. But last year when Charlie was in a serious auto accident, spending months in recovery, they closed their remaining La Quinta restaurant, Legacy Thai Cuisine. Talay is easy to spot at night: Two light-wrapped palm trees and bushes in front mirror the up-lit, festively decorated Las Casuelas Nuevas directly across the street on Highway 111. The décor Talay, which means “ocean” in Thai, is infused with warmth and graciousness. Many of the sequined Thai elephant wall hangings, tranquil Buddha artwork, and sculptures that were in the Butrlakorns former restaurants have found their home here. Walls are painted a warm cinnamon aA cozy bar serving wine, beer and cocktails, also offers seating while waiting for a table.

A larger dining area serves as the Dim Sum dining room. Dim Sum is a Chinese tradition of delicacies, steamed and fried buns and dumplings stuffed with all kinds of meat, cheese and vegetable fillings, served from rolling carts. The cuisine Charlie and Ally have integrated their concepts of authentic Thai cuisine and Chinese Dim Sum on the weekends. On our tasting menu the Kanom Jeep (Thai dumpling) steamed and stuffed with chicken, cabbage and onion served with a spicy vinegar soy sauce. The rest of the meal was served family style. At once came the Pla Lad Prik, one of their signature dishes, a whole catfish (head on) served crisply fried and topped with sautéed bell peppers, and the special stir-fried curry paste with kaffir leaves and basil. This is filleted and served tableside. Another specialty is the roasted half duck, a more earthy-flavored dish that is char-grilled, and served bone-in with a sweet chicken-stock sauce.

purple yam and green tea ice cream. Dim Sum dishes on the weekends include favorites such as pan-fried pork dumplings with chives, spare ribs with black bean sauce, crab and cheese langoon, pan-fried pot stickers, chicken satay, sweet fresh tofu with ginger sauce, steamed Chinese broccoli with oyster sauce, and many more. Talay Thai-Dim Sum Restaurant, 70-065 Highway 111, Rancho Mirage. (760) 832-9588; talaythairanchomirage.com. Weekdays 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. lunch; 5- 9 p.m. dinner; 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Dim Sum, Saturday, Sunday. Dinner entrées: $11.95-$21.95

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Talking Fashion

Fashion Week El Paseo – Major designers plus an icon By JorieParr

Zandra Rhodes

Monique Lhuillier

Michael Costello

Fashion Week El Paseo 2016 promises to be one of the most exciting ever. The famous tents take on a penthouse effect, perched over The Gardens on El Paseo in Palm Desert. A roof with a view. World class designers – Zandra Rhodes, Marc Bouwer, Michael Costello, Monique Lhullier – bring their luxe wares to us. Though these designers excel at special occasion raiment, which makes for catwalk drama, plenty of sportswear for every day drama is in the running. Marie and daughter Kelly Gray, formerly of St. John Knits, now co-designers of Grayse, make that point on April 6. Plus on El Paseo Rocks night, April 4, stores on the street feature outfits available for you to come in and see up close, touch and try on. Zandra Rhodes But let’s think about the fabulous Zandra Rhodes. She was the toast of the 70s with her exquisitely detailed diaphanous frocks, her rule-breaking safety pin attachments. And now Susan Stein, Fashion Week creator/ producer, agrees that Dame Zandra is having a moment again. Furthermore, she lives much of the year fairly nearby, in Solana Beach. “She’s coming over (on April 8) just after London Fashion Week, but she’s doing a special show for us,” Stein said. The onetime crowned “Princess of Punk” founded her Fashion and Textile Museum in London (pink and

orange exterior) in 2003. Her mother was a fitter for the Paris House of Worth; Zandra Rhodes seemed destined to make fashion history. And yes, Stein confirmed, she still has that pink hair. Marc Bouwer After leaving his native South Africa, Marc Bouwer went to New York, to be hired as a protégé of the great American designer, Halston. His influence is suggested by Bouwer’s simple but decisive cuts and use of simpatico fabrics like jersey and spandex. Bouwer’s had a line of party dresses with a wonderful label, “Glamit.” His work has been compared to the gowns that adorned the legendary silver screen sirens. Apparently web-savvy early on, Bouwer was the first designer in the nation to take his collection, spring/ summer 2009, online. Stein noted that he’s been on “the shopping network for the great percentage of the country who shops that way.” He’ll wind up fashion week on April 8. Michael Costello As for Michael Costello, whom we’ve observed since he was a teenager with a boutique on Palm Canyon Drive, Stein has this to say. “He’s totally original. I think he is the Bob Mackie of this century…doing what Bob Mackie did for Cher (and Carol Burnett). Michael’s doing it for Beyonce, Lady Gaga, J. Lo for her Las Vegas show. And Andra Day” (among

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others at the Grammys). It’s tempting to say Costello will return in triumph to Fashion Week along with some of his other Project Runway alums on April 5. Monique Lhuillier This year Saks Fifth Avenue starts off the proceedings on April 2, presenting Monique Lhuillier, long the darling of the chic L. A. hipsters. A Filipina of French and Spanish descent, she made her name in bridal wear. Like Vera Wang, she’d found that area wanting while shopping for her own wedding dress. Britney Spears was one of the brides Lhuillier sent down the aisle. And as for the red carpet, well, her clientele includes Reese Witherspoon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Taylor Swift etc. etc. At this writing, we checked out her

fall 2016 collection online. Wonder if she’ll add some of the fun accessories to her show here. Crystal socks? I’m for it. And her new sunglass line would be appropriate for the sunblinding desert. Apart from the stars of the week, I always want to catch the Fashion Institute of Technology event (on April 7). The “well trained but unstifled” (Stein’s words) senior students come up with refreshing eye-opening innovations. By the way, Stein no longer teaches at FIDM. “I just can’t.” As fashion editor of Palm Springs Life, she’s in demand as an authority. And Fashion Week essentially takes all year. But it’s rewarding. Fashion Week El Paso has become the largest of its kind at the very least on the West Coast.

SCHEDULE Saturday, April 2 Saks Fifth Avenue Presents Monique Lhuillier 7 p.m. Cocktail reception, 8 p.m. Fashion show and live auction Sunday, April 3 Le Chien Benefits Humane Society of the Desert 5 p.m. Cocktail Reception, 6 p.m. Fashion show and live auction Monday, April 4 El Paseo Rocks Benefits Girlfriend Factor 7 p.m. Cocktail reception, 8:30 p.m. Fashion show Tuesday, April 5 Michael Costello and

the Stars of “Project Runway” 10:30 a.m. Meet and greet with Michael Costello, “Project Runway” designers Michael Costello and the Stars of “Project Runway” 7 p.m. Cocktail reception, 8 p.m. Fashion show Wednesday, April 6 Stars of “Project Runway” 10:30 a.m. – 2:30 p.m. Trunk Show: “Project Runway” Designers A Night of Diamonds and Grayse 7 p.m. Cocktail reception, 8:30 p.m. Fashion show

Thursday, April 7 FIDM/Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising 2016 Couture Debut Show 7 p.m. Cocktail reception, 8:30 p.m. Fashion show Friday, April 8 International Designer Zandra Rhodes 7 p.m. Cocktail reception, 8:30 p.m. Fashion show Saturday, April 9 Fashion Week Finale Presents: Marc Bouwer 7 p.m. Cocktail reception, 8:30 p.m. Fashion show Tickets, in-store events and more information: fashionweekelpaseo.com www.ValleyWoman.net

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No will

A widow’s worst nightmare By Reesa Manning What can be worse than losing a spouse — especially when there are still young children to raise? How about being forced to go through probate and losing needed assets to ex-spouses and estranged family members? If only there had been a will. Advisors are used to beating the drum about proper estate planning and predictably, year after year, the same clients will give an awkward laugh and sheepishly admit that they still haven’t made a will. It just doesn’t seem that important. Dead is dead, right? And besides, all the assets will go to the spouse, so he or she can worry about passing it on to the kids. If only that were true. When someone dies without a will, the law of the state they died in determines how assets will be dispersed. Distribution formulas vary according to state law, but they are usually some variation of the

following: • Spouse gets everything if the deceased had no children, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews or there are no children of a deceased child. • Spouse gets half if the deceased had one child or there are children of one deceased child. • Spouse gets one-third if there are two or more children or one child and descendants of one or more deceased children. Messy, complicated, expensive We often counsel clients who are widowed to try to wait several months before making large financial decisions. But if money is tight and the courts are involved, time is of the essence. The first hurdle is probate. The court determines how to divide the assets — what goes to which beneficiary. The costs can add up quickly and may include court fees, attorney fees, accounting fees, appraisal fees and business valuation fees.

When minor children inherit, the bureaucratic red tape begins and costs can be excessive in comparison to the value of the assets that are being protected. It can be a constant struggle to access the children’s inheritance for their own upbringing. Interaction with the courts occurs in the following ways: • The court appoints a conservator to administer the assets in accordance with its rules. This conservator will not necessarily be the surviving parent • Court supervision involves formal accountings, which can be costly and complicated. • The conservator may also require legal representation in court. • The court controls how funds are to be used and when they can be withdrawn. • The court’s interpretation of reasonable costs for health, education, maintenance, and support is usually very conservative. A parent may be unsuccessful arguing that tutors, orthodontia, music lessons, sports camp or help paying a mortgage is a necessity. It may be hard to justify using a larger share of the assets for a child with special needs.

Do it now Check with your financial advisor for the name of a good estate attorney. Financial advisors and estate planning attorneys often work together to ensure their clients’ estates are financially and legally protected. Above all, remember that if you don’t create a will of your own, the state will write one for you. Knowing how probate really works might be all the incentive you need to visit that nice lawyer and create a will that can enforce your last wishes and protect your family’s assets. Reesa Manning is Senior Vice President and Financial Advisor at Integrated Wealth Management, with expertise in investment, retirement income and financial planning. For a complimentary review, call Reesa at (760)834-7200 or reesa@IWMgmt.com. The above is being provided for informational purposes only and should not be considered investment, tax or legal advice. The information is as of the date of this release, subject to change without notice and no reliance should be placed on such information when making any investment, tax or legal decisions. Integrated Wealth Management obtained the information provided herein from third party sources believed to be reliable, but it is not guaranteed. Form ADV contains important information about the advisory services, fees, business, and background and the experience of advisory personnel. This form is publicly available and may be viewed at adviserinfo.sec.gov

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Email power

A few key strokes can make all the difference Email can be a quick, efficient and effective way to communicate, if it’s used properly. Get busy or distracted and it can be very easy to send ineffective emails, create the wrong impression, or even damage your reputation with sloppy practices. Here are points to avoid when you send emails. Using the wrong tone Consider who you’re “talking” to and what action you want them to take before you start writing. Avoid using abbreviations, jargon or “text” speak. Make sure that your emails are courteous and respectful. Don’t type in capitals, which implies anger or aggression. Hitting “reply all” Consider whether you should “reply all” or respond only to the email’s sender. “CC” (carbon copy) or “bcc” (blind carbon copy) to include selected recipients might be more appropriate.

Writing too much Brief and succinct emails that contain only the important details are more effective than long or wordy ones. Not using “delay send” Many email clients now provide a “delay” or “scheduled send” function, which can be useful. Imagine that you’re catching up on your emails late at night or during the weekend. What sort of impression will this give clients and stakeholders? How will they view your time management? Using vague subject lines Email is most effective when your message is concise and to the point. Start with a clear subject line, so that people know what to expect when they open it. Not reviewing Proofing your emails helps you to pick up poor grammar, spelling

mistakes and punctuation errors. Don’t add the recipient to your email until the last moment so that you don’t accidentally send your message before you’ve finished writing it, added attachments, checked the email and spotted errors.

Sending too many emails Email is impersonal, and you risk losing touch with people if you rely on it too much. (Sources: Mindtools.com, earlytorise.com)

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Understand your man How to figure out what he’s really thinking; Yup, it has a lot to do with sex It’s the old men are from Mars, women are from Venus battle. Mystified by the actions of your guy? Psychologists who study gender roles have identified traits that show the real meaning behind some of the typical “guy” things he does. Here’s a selection. Men take commitment seriously Men have a reputation for being afraid to commit. But the evidence suggests men take marriage seriously. They may take longer to commit because they want to make sure they are onboard for good. In a survey of currently married men, 90% say they would marry the same woman again. He really is listening When you’re listening to someone talk, you probably chime in with a “yes” or “I see” every now and then. It’s your way of saying, “I’m listening.” But some guys don’t do this. Just because a man isn’t saying anything doesn’t mean he’s not listening. He may prefer to listen quietly and think about what you’re saying.

Men learn from their fathers If you want to know how a man will act in a relationship, get to know his dad. How they are with each other and how the father relates to his own partner can predict how a man will relate to his wife. Shared activities form bonds Men strengthen their relationships with their partners through doing things together, more than by sharing thoughts or feelings. For many men, activities like sports and sex make them feel closer to their partner. Men don’t pick up on subtle cues Men are more likely to miss subtle signals like tone of voice or facial expressions. And they are especially likely to miss sadness on a woman’s face. If you want to make sure your guy gets the message, be direct.

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Men let go faster than women Women tend to remember negative experiences longer and may have lingering feelings of stress, anxiety or sadness. In contrast, men are less likely to dwell on unpleasant events and tend to move on more quickly. So while you may still want to talk about last night’s argument, your guy may have already forgotten about it.

Guys aren’t always up for sex Just like women, men are often stressed by the demands of work, family, and paying the bills. And stress is a big libido crusher. When a guy says, “not tonight,” it doesn’t mean he’s lost interest in you. He just means he doesn’t want to have sex right then.

While shared activities are important, men also need time for themselves. Whether your guy enjoys golf, gardening, or working out at the gym, encourage him to pursue his hobbies, while you make time for your own. When both partners have space to nurture their individuality, they have more to give to each other.

Guys get performance anxiety

Men like pleasing their partner

Men respond to appreciation Showing appreciation for your guy can make a big difference in the way he acts. Take parenting: Studies show that fathers are more involved in care-giving when their wives value their involvement and see them as competent.

Men need time for themselves

Most men get performance anxiety on occasion, especially as they age. Your guy may worry about his body, technique, and stamina. If you can help him learn to relax and stay focused on the pleasures of the moment, sex will become less stressful.

Men think about sex ... a lot

Men find sex significant

Most men under age 60 think about sex at least once a day, compared with only a quarter of women. And that’s not all. Men fantasize about sex nearly twice as often as women do, and their fantasies are much more varied. They also think more about casual sex than women do. But thinking is not the same as doing.

It’s a myth that most men think sex is just sex. For many, sex is a very important act between two committed people. And just like most women, men find sexual intimacy to be most satisfying within a committed relationship. One reason is that longterm partners know how to please one another better than strangers do.

Men may stray when needs aren’t met If a man doesn’t feel loved and appreciated in his relationship, he may turn elsewhere for satisfaction. For one man, that may mean burying himself in work. Another may develop a fixation on sports or video games. And some men cheat. To avoid this, partners need to work together to meet each other’s needs. He’s vested in you Most men realize there’s a lot to lose if a long-term relationship goes sour --- not just each other’s company, but the entire life you’ve built together. If you’re willing to work to strengthen your marriage, chances are your man will be, too.

Most guys feel as though they’re the ones who always initiate sex. But they also like to be pursued and wish their partner would take the lead more often. Don’t be shy about letting your guy know you’re in the mood. Initiating sex some of the time may

(Sources: WebMD, Psychology Today)

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Teeth wreckers

Who knew about these no-no’s? Want to keep those pearly whites? Then, check out these food and drink habits to avoid. Chewing on Ice Munching on frozen cubes can chip or even crack your teeth. Next time you get the urge for ice, chew some sugarless gum instead. Cough drops Most cough drops are loaded with sugar. So after soothing your throat with a lozenge, be sure to brush well. Soda Sodas can have up to 11 teaspoons of sugar per serving and contain phosphoric and citric acids, which eat away at tooth enamel. Diet soft drinks may have even more acid in the form of the artificial sweeteners.

Opening stuff with your teeth Using your teeth as tools can cause them to crack or chip. Keep scissors and bottle openers handy. Sports drinks Sports drink are usually high in sugar and create an acid attack on tooth enamel. Drinking them frequently can lead to decay. Fruit juice Fruit juice is loaded with vitamins, antioxidants and sugar. Some juices can have as much sugar per serving as soda. Look for juice that has no added sugar. Potato chips The bacteria in plaque will also break down starchy foods into acid, which can attack the teeth for the next 20 minutes -- even longer if the

food is stuck between the teeth or you snack often. You might want to floss after eating potato chips or other starchy foods that tend to get stuck in the teeth. Drinking wine The acids in wine eat away at tooth enamel, creating rough spots

that make teeth more vulnerable to staining. Red wine contains a deep pigment called chromogen and tannins, which help the color stick to the teeth. Swishing with water after drinking or using toothpaste with a mild whitening agent can fight the staining effects of wine. (Sources: ADA.com, WebMD.com)

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Famous Italian wine regions earn their reputation By Michael Brachman As wine lovers, our recent trip to Italy’s two top wine regions was a long realized dream. Italy presents 20 defined wine regions. Premier among them, and where we focused our journey, is the Tuscany region around Florence and the Piedmont region to the northwest. Both are credited with producing Italy’s top wines in quality and quantity. Tuscany is most famed for its Chianti. Piedmont is most respected for its Barolo and Barbaresco, although lately Moscato d’Asti rates high in sales. Both regions offer idyllic wine villages and castle and medieval haunts, which we enjoyed as much as the wine. Here are four highlights of our trip. Hotel Castello di Sinio This restored 12th-century fortress in Piemonte was the perfect place to stay while we toured Barolo and Barbaresco wine zones. It’s owned and managed by a former San Francisco Bay Area chef, Italian-American Denise Pardini, who also cooks in her luxurious

hotel’s restaurant. While the garden and the castle’s 9 suites and 5 rooms are meticulously maintained, the atmosphere was informal and relaxed. Over the past several years, travel media have recognized Pardini as Hotel Manager of the Year and listed the hotel in the Top100 best accommodations in Italy. denise@hotelcastellodisinio.com, +39 0173.263889

1865 Residenza d’epoca Owned by an Italian opera singer and her Belgian husband, this divine, small mid-19th century guesthouse in Florence, is set on a quiet residential street in the historic center, close to Florence’s synagogue and within easy walking distance to the Sant’Ambogio market area with its shops, restaurants and cafes. Each of the five elegant bedrooms with high, frescoed ceilings is named after a writer who lived in Florence when it was the country’s capital. info@1865.it, 340 38.25 277

A restored 12th century castle, Hotel Castello di Sinio in Italy’s Piedmont wine region is owned and managed by a former California chef who consistently earns international kudos. Provided photo

Pitti Gola E Cantina With a view of the Medici’s Pitti Palace, this cozy Florence wine bar owned by three men offers handmade pasta and traditional and modern Italian dishes to compliment its wines. Their collection of small production, high-end wines, that we learned they hand select, includes top producers as well as unknown and small family-owned wineries. The cantina’s wine list highlights more than 3,000 bottles of Chianti Classico from the turn of the century

www.ValleyWoman.net

Popular Florence wine bar Pitti Gola E Cantina serves many of its wines by the glass.

to today. pittigolaecantina.com, +39.055.212704

Castello della Castelluccia If time and money was no object, we’d still be here. This 4-star hotel on the outskirts of Rome is a restored 11th- century dwelling built atop an ancient Roman villa. Redolent with atmosphere from its medieval stone arches, mammoth fireplaces, vaulting and wood pavement, modern touches include a park-surrounded swimming pool and nearby golf courses. Lacastelluccia.com, +39 06 3020 7041

March | Valley Woman

MARCH Through 13 “The Full Monty”: Musical comedy based on British film. 7 p.m. Thu., 8 p.m. Fri.-Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Palm Canyon Theatre, 538 N. Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs. $32-$36. Palmcanyontheatre, org, (760) 323-5123 5 Coachella Valley Wildflower Festival: 9 a.m.-4 p.m. No on-site parking; shuttles from St. Margaret’s Church on Highway 74. Santa Rosa & San Jacinto Mountains National Monument visitors center, 51-500 Highway 74, Palm Desert. Desertmountains.org, (760) 862-9984 6 18th annual Hike4Hope: 6 a.m.noon. Hikes for all levels. Indian Canyons, 38-500 S. Palm Canyon Drive. $25-$35. Hike4hope.com, (760) 779-1801

8 “Frank’s Place at the Symphony”: Frank DiSalvo, Coachella Valley Symphony, 7 p.m. Helen Galen Performing Arts Center, 31-001 Rattler Road, Rancho Mirage. $25-$65. Cvsymphony.com, (760) 360-2222 11-13, 18-20 Dali: A Staged Portrayal: by Indio Performing Arts Center. 7 p.m. Fri., Sat.; 2 p.m. Sun. Old Town Playhouse, 45-175 Fargo St., Indio. $25-$28. (760) 775-5200, indioperformingartscenter.org 11-20 “The Laramie Project”: Documentary-style play. 7 p.m. Fri.Sat., 3 p.m. Sun. College of the Desert, Theater Too, 43-500 Monterey Ave., Palm Desert. $15-$18. (760) 773-2574 11-20 “CLUE: The Musical: Based on the classic board game. 7 p.m. Fri., 2 & 7 p.m. Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Arthur

Newman Theatre, 73-750 Catalina Way, Palm Desert. $24-$26. Dtworks. org, (760) 980-1355 13 The Spinners: Soul group from the ‘70s. 5 p.m. Rancho Mirage Community Park Amphitheater. Free. 71-560 San Jacinto Drive, Rancho Mirage. Ranchomirageca.gov, (760) 324-4511 13 Free concert: U.S. Air Force Band of the Golden West, 6 p.m., Sunrise Park, 401 S. Pavilion Way, Palm Springs. Palmspringsca.gov, bandofthegoldenwest.af.mil/, (760) 323-8272 14 Second Mondays: With Boys & Girls Club of Coachella Valley Heatwave Jazz & Show Band. 6 p.m. Vicky’s of Santa Fe, Highway 111 & Club Drive, Indian Wells, $10.

Vickysofsantafe.com, (760) 345-9770 15 National League of American Pen Women: Luncheon with guest speaker editorial director Julie Sinclair.11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Desert Falls Country Club, Palm Desert. Reservations at (209) 872-5673, pspenwomen.org 16 Borealis String Quarter: From Palm Springs Community Concert Association 2016 Season. 7:30 p.m., Camelot Theatres, 2300 Baristo Road, Palm Springs. $20.psconcerts.org, (760) 770-0774 17 “On the Air!”: Radio show classics by Dezart Performs. 7 p.m. Camelot Theatres, 2300 E. Baristo Road, Palm Springs. $35-$75. Dezartperforms.org, (760) 322-0179

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