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October 2019 . Issue 8.10

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October 2019

Valley Voice

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Valley Voice

October 2019

Rants...

Contents Our State Needs a Fully Funded LWCF

Page 4

Six Years Well Spent

Page 5

By Dylan Roberts By Scott L. Ford

If You Don't Know Where You're Going... Page 6 By Bill Martin

How to Watch a Play...

Page 7

Hogan: 1947-1977

Page 8

What Frank T. Johnson Experienced

Page 10

By Stuart Handloff By John Whittum

By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield

How To Beerfest Page 11 By Eric Kemper

Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf mattscharf1@gmail.com

Investor Expands Steamboat and Beyond Page 12 By Brodie Farquhar

Accounts Manager:

Scott Ford

Walking In and Out of Debt

Page 17

Sales:

valleyvoicesales@gmail.com

The Joy of Questions

Page 18

Event Calendar:

Eric Kemper ericvalleyvoice@gmail.com

Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website www.valleyvoicecolorado.com. Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2019 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voice.

Official Fine Print Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements. The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat Springs’s Valley Voice. Direct all correspondence, articles, editorials or advertisements to the address below. The author’s signature and phone number must accompany letters to the editor. Names will be withheld upon request (at the discretion of the publisher). Submission is no guarantee of publication. Subscription rate is a donation of 40 measly dollars per year. However, if you wish to send more because you know we desperately need your money, don’t be shy, send us all you can! Advertisers rates vary by size, call 970-846-3801 and we’ll come visit you.

By Scott L. Ford

By Wolf Bennett

The Towel Page 19 By Aimee Kimmey

Smoke and Mirrors

Page 19

Tears of a Clown

Page 20

The Second Date

Page 21

Summer's Green Growth

Page 21

From Isolation to a Small Town

Page 22

This Is My Empire

Page 23

Calendar of FREE Events

Page 24

By Sean Derning By Sean Derning

By Mr. Helpful M.D. By Fran Conlon

By Elizabeth Heckmann By Debora Black By Eric Kemper

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Yampuzzler Page 25 By Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean

The unreadable blue blob at night on the side of Old Town Hot Springs… Rapidly accruing fines… Badly timed traffic lights… Installing banners on Lincoln during the morning commute. People complaining about the dumbest things… When people don’t believe whistleblowers… Lackluster election season... The end of plastic bags…

Raves... Live music at the fire… Trebuchets… The Great American Beer Festival… Productive house chores… Beautiful fall colors right in your front yard… A million dollar home with an outdoor clothes line… A tiny home with a porsche parked out front... Two strokes... The end of plastic bags…

Say What?... “A mountain without a roller coaster is like a horse without a cell phone?” “When do you see that much wind without a storm behind it?” “Where do you live?” “Beep-Beep-Beep Acres!” “Oh, I’ll just get someone else to plow my driveway.” “What’s an HOA?” "Did you call me? or did I call you?"

Yepelloscopes Page 26 By Chelsea Yepello

Comics Page 27

We go to press October 28th for the November 2019 issue! Send in your submissions by October 15th!

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October 2019

Valley Voice

State Representative/ Eagle and Routt Counties

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Our State Needs a Fully Funded LWCF By Dylan Roberts

Members in both the House and Senate have proposed bipartisan legislation to provide full and permanent funding, but President Trump previously proposed nearly zeroingout money for the LWCF. What makes any Congressional indecisiveness, first to permanently reauthorize, and now to fully fund this vital program particularly incredible is that the many benefits provided by the LWCF come at no cost to taxpayers. The LWCF money is taken only from a very small portion of the royalties paid by oil and gas companies drilling offshore.

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Over five decades, the LWCF has invested approximately $278.6 million in Colorado, protecting some of the state’s most special places and helping to ensure recreational access for hunting, fishing and other outdoor activities. On the federal level, these places include Rocky Mountain National Park and the White River National Forest. LWCF l state assistance grants have supported conservation s and environmental efforts right here in Routt County m including at Howelsen Hill and the Yampa River Core Trail, among others -- all playing an important role in growing D Colorado’s lucrative $28 billion annual outdoor recreation q economy. s

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I’ll begin this month’s column by stating something obvious: living in the Colorado mountains is the best. The natural beauty of this place is something I know we all cherish and is something that makes me so proud to represent the beautiful Eagle and Routt Counties. As your State Representative, protecting that natural beauty has been and will continue to be a priority. However, the conservation of our land, water, and air is not just the responsibility of the state or local governments. The US Congress has and must continue to play a crucial role. That is why this month, I would like to talk to you about a vital program that we here in Eagle and Routt Counties need fully-funded by our federal leaders. For over 50 years the Land and Water Conservation Fund (LWCF), the most successful conservation program in U.S. history, has been instrumental in protecting irreplaceable lands and waters like these and enabling us to better access Colorado’s wonderful natural resources. Authorized for $900 million annually, but fully funded only a few times since its inception, it has been responsible for funding the acquisition and enhancement of federal, state, and local public lands in almost every state and county in the nation, ensuring that all Americans have access to recreate and enjoy our lands and parks. Yet Congress has been slow-moving to make the LWCF a permanent and fully funded source for America’s wellbeing. After much wrangling, the fund was permanently reauthorized as part of the bipartisan John D. Dingell, Jr. Conservation, Management, and Recreation Act, on March 12, 2019. Unfortunately, no assurance for future funding was provided.

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O I thank Colorado’s Congressional representatives for p their leadership in fighting for the LWCF full funding this e year, but the disheartening reality is that the U.S. Senate just approved a "half measures" amount for the program, F proposing a $465 million level for LWCF instead of the t full $900 million intended by the original legislation. It’s disappointing that Senator Cory Gardner, who presumably C has the power within his majority party to increase the amount our parks and public lands receive, would settle I for this lesser amount. Especially disconcerting is that o only a month ago, Gardner was leading the charge, urging m Congressional leaders “to seize the opportunity for … e full, permanent funding for the Land and Water Conserva- f tion Fund…” as they “work to enact legislation that will C address Federal funding needs for fiscal year 2020 and c beyond.” Senator Gardner, what happened to the pash sion and gusto for public lands you espoused when you b sponsored the Land Water Conservation Fund Permanent m Funding Act that mandated $900 million each year for v outdoor recreation resources to strengthen the health andh vitality of the citizens of the United States? t We cannot take these places we cherish for granted. At the state legislature, we can and have enacted policies to protect our state’s water and air. However, it should be the federal government’s role to support our efforts with resources like a fully funded LWCF. We can work in partnership but it is time for Congress to hold up their end of the bargain.

Dylan Roberts is the State Representative for Colorado House District 26: Eagle and Routt Counties.

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Valley Voice

October 2019

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City Council Voices

Six Years Well Spent By Scott L. Ford By the time this column appears in the Valley Voice I will have only two more meetings as a member of Steamboat Springs City Council. Over the past six-years I have attended 234 scheduled council meetings. I did not miss a single one. I did my best to come fully prepared. Only once did I come dangerously close to nodding off. It was during a lengthy PowerPoint slide presentation given by a consultant in 2016 recommending an increase in water/sewer rates. During my time on council there were occasions where I questioned whether the size of the matter needing a decision exceeded the reach of my knowledge and competence. Over the past six years I have grown confident in the process that when seven individuals listen to and respect each other, the correct decisions are usually made. From my perspective, below are some of the highlights of the past six years: Change in City Managers In 2014 it was becoming clear that there was a host of challenges occurring between the City Manager and members of City Council. These challenges were worsened when either the City Manager or Council members forgot their respective roles as clearly described in the City Charter. Making a motion that the then City Manager consider resigning was one of the most difficult evenings I have had while on City Council. Thank you, Council member Sonja Macey, for having the courage to second that motion. The vote failed 5-2. That motion resulted in some very hard and raw feelings between council members; however, it was likely the catalyst that eventually brought to Council and the public’s attention some serious issues associated with the Police Department. Although some difficult decisions needed to be made, the City of Steamboat Springs today is in a far better place with a City Manager who is committed to integrity, professionalism and a clear understanding of their role and the role of City Council in managing the business of the City. Downtown Improvements / Yampa Street Having common public places to gather is valued by this community. These common public spaces provide the opportunity to gather and connect with one another. The creation of such a common space was the vision for Yampa Street. This vision had been 30+ years in the making. It came into sharp focus in 2015. The improvements

to Yampa Street were going to be a part of an $11 million upgrade to downtown. There was general agreement on what was needed. The bigger question was how these improvements were going to be paid for. The default position was to create a downtown district of the Urban Renewal Authority and use Tax Increment Financing (TIF) based on anticipated increases in property values. Although a very common financing tool used by many Colorado municipalities, a property value based TIF is detrimental to other governmental entities because it re-directs a proportion of property tax revenues they are entitled to. I strongly supported the proposed improvements to downtown, I just did not want to use a TIF to pay for it. For two months I argued against a TIF, stressing that although it can be done, it does not mean it should be done. Eventually, council agreed and together we found other ways to pay for the downtown improvements. Essentially Council agreed to “play nice in the sandbox” with the other government entities. If Council had pursued a TIF, the likelihood that the County would have agreed to the construction and funding of a joint/law enforcement facility would have been very remote. Annexation - West Steamboat Neighborhoods Lastly, the West Steamboat Neighborhoods (WSN) annexation is a decision I am glad to have participated in. Brynn-Gray will be the developer of WSN. I am familiar with the family-focused neighborhoods they have developed in Breckenridge and in Frisco. When I first saw their development in Breckenridge in 2003, I knew their concept would work in Steamboat. Thirteen years later, Brynn-Gray approached City council with a proposal to annex 191 acres west of town. Negotiating the terms of the annexation was going to be a lot of work for everyone concerned. I was also well aware that the topic of annexation was going to be contentious. It took over two years to negotiate the terms of the annexation agreement. There were some that were very unhappy with the agreement. So unhappy they exercised their right allowed by the City Charter to petition for a public vote. In the end, a majority of the citizenry supported the annexation agreement City Council had negotiated.

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On the evening of November 12th, the new members of City Council will be sworn in and I will be stepping down. One of my personal goals while on council was to have City Council members be the most accessible elected official the folks of Steamboat have in their lives. I believe I have helped foster that. I am not tired of being a member of City Council, but I am ready to leave. To my fellow council members, I want you to know that I will miss being a part of a team of seven dedicated individuals who truly value this community, city staff and each other. Collectively over the past six-years we have made some important and lasting differences. It was an honor to work with each of you. I wish you all the best. Ford out!

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October 2019

Thanks to our WONDERFUL CLIENTS AND YOUR AMAZING PETS! We are celebrating 32 years serving the Yampa Valley!

Valley Voice

Community Vision and Planning

If You Don’t Know Where You’re Going, Any Road Will Get You There. By Bill Martin

As November again comes upon us, the colors have changed, the air cools and we may anticipate what is coming; politicians will be asking for new tax money. My focus here will be city council’s request for a new ear-marked property tax for fire and emergency services. Until 1978, our city’s revenue source was a property tax. That all changed in 1979 when voters made the choice to eliminate all city property tax in exchange for an increase in sales tax to entirely fund city administration, facilities and services.

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The city has three tiers of services and entities it funds with the revenue it collects. Core services are the first tier and top priority of the city’s administrative responsibility. The city could not operate without these essential services such as water and sewer, fire and emergency services, police, city administration, public works etc. The second tier of city funding is community amenities. This tier was created with the evolution of city-owned amenities such as parks and recreation facilities, Bob Adams Airport, the community center, etc. Though owned by the city, they are non-essential to daily city operations. Community amenities are enjoyed by many and generate some revenue through user fees. A third tier of city funding is community support. These are non-essential, special interest organizations. Community support was created in the mid-1980s by a city council with a new governing perspective. Believing there was surplus money in the city reserves, they decided to donate some of that surplus to their favorite special interest groups. It didn’t take long to realize the political benefits. No one gives city council high fives for funding core services such as replacing three miles of sewer pipe or, for that matter,

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fire and emergency services; however, you get lots of love and votes giving taxpayer money to popular, non-essential special interest groups. That support soon became an entitlement, with annual funding expected long after those surplus reserves were spent and the TABOR Amendment placed limits on city reserves. City council is attempting a charade by trying to convince city voters there is not enough money to fund the core city responsibility of fire and emergency services. If city council believes there is not enough money to fund their agenda, they must first look at budget cuts to third tier, community support, then second tier, community amenities. City council must keep their historical priorities and responsibilities in focus and fund all core city services first and completely with the sales tax revenue available. If our city council does not have the political strength to make the necessary cuts to non-essential budget items, then they must be candid with voters and give them the choice of whether to fund third tier, non-essential community support and second tier, non-essential community amenities with new taxes. The new tax requests this November from seemingly disparate, community groups are an illustration of the importance of community vision and planning. These entities are challenged by similar overarching community growth impacts. Yet each appears to have little awareness or concern of how their funding requests may impact other issues in our city. Effective community vision and planning analyzes all major community issues, identifies potential conflicts and seeks realistic integrated solutions. We must avoid myopic, single-issue viewpoints and seek leadership with greater communication, community vision and planning skills.


Valley Voice

October 2019

Piknik Theatre

How to Watch a Play: A Shakespeare Tutorial By Stuart Handloff There is a short but sweet book written by David Ball entitled “Backwards and Forwards: A Technical Manual for Reading Plays,” but it could just as easily have been subtitled as a technical manual for directing or watching plays. Ball’s premise is that every play you read/direct/ watch should have a coherent structure from beginning to end. This structure should make as much sense watching the play backwards as watching it forwards. "Examining the events backwards you will have no gaps” in your understanding of the text or performance. So what does this mean when you’re sitting in the sanctuary at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church for a performance of Hamlet with a bunch of your friends; the house lights go down; the stage lights come up - and then what? Should we perform the play from the final curtain backwards, scene by scene, to see if you can figure out how the collection of dead bodies littering the stage were once performers in a story that lead to their own demise? Well, no, of course. The costuming alone would be a nightmare. But the story should make sense as you’re leaving the theatre: this final scene all began with stability in which all things were in balance. In the case of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, a young prince is attending university in Wittenberg, no doubt doing all the things last year’s high school seniors at Steamboat Springs High School who went on to college are doing this very moment at their chosen institute of higher education. Suddenly he receives the message that his father, the king, has died suddenly due to an accident. The stability of the happy life he knew has been upended. He returns home for the funeral only to be greeted with the news that his mother - Gertrude - the very recently widowed wife, is engaged to be married to his uncle. This is horrible enough for the young prince, who now has lost not only his beloved father but also his turn to be king when his uncle takes the throne. However, the story takes a turn to the supernatural when a ghost appears in the castle - and the ghost looks like Hamlet’s recently deceased father the king! Now the events that become the play you may know, and will hopefully see enacted at this same church, begin to play out. Because Hamlet speaks to the ghost it reveals that the “accidental” death was actually due to a deliberate murder by poisoning and performed by this same uncle. Because of that Hamlet pretends to be a little crazy so he can investigate the crime. When a traveling group of actors stop by the castle, Hamlet asks them to act out a play that mirrors the murder of his father. Because of that, the uncle - Claudius - is furious and confesses his crime to the audience (but no one else) and we audience members are now all on Hamlet’s side, pushing for him to do the right thing and murder Claudius. Had Shakespeare simply given the character of Hamlet a big sword at this point and had him lop of the head of Claudius we would be in for a short, and not particularly

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HAMLET By William Shakespeare

rewarding, comedy. Fate, of course, plays a role in all tragedies and the same occurs for Hamlet. His girlfriend’s father is eavesdropping on a conversation between Hamlet and his mother Gertrude, hoping to learn why Hamlet is so now so angry. Because of that, Hamlet hears her father - Polonius - in the next room and kills him with this same big sword, thinking it’s his murderous uncle. Hamlet’s relationship with his girlfriend - Ophelia - was on shaky ground anyway due to all the crazy behavior he was exhibiting as a ploy. But killing her father has put her over the edge, literally. Hamlet is banished to avoid punishment for manslaughter, that being the privilege that the high and mighty had in those days (justice, of course, is now a level playing field for all). And Ophelia is driven to suicide. Suddenly, the end is in sight: Hamlet returns to Ophelia's funeral, confronts her enraged brother; Claudius arranges for a duel between the brother - Laertes - and Hamlet with the promise of poisoning him. Laertes is struck with the poisoned sword but not before wounding Hamlet, Gertrude is poisoned by the wine intended for Hamlet, Laertes confesses the plot and blames King Claudius whom the dying Hamlet both skewers with a slightly smaller sword and forces to drink the poisoned wine. As Hamlet lies dying in the arms of his faithful friend, we all think back to the first event that began the falling of the dominos, leading to this bloody finale. Shakespeare certainly knew what he was doing: we have a play that starts with a happy family and a youngster carousing at college; then step by step it unravels to a tragic pile of bodies. Better still, at each step along the way is a series of highly theatrical moments that excite us watchers with anticipation to know what happens next. Shakespeare continually dangles diamonds of drama in front of our eyes, moving the story forward from one exciting event to the next: murder, ghosts, feigned madness, guilt-ridden prayers, accidental slaughter, drowning, terrific sword play, and ultimate carnage. Maybe you won’t be able to attend one of the upcoming performances of Hamlet (and I’m so sorry for your loss), but the next time you see a play or movie of any kind maybe it’s a re-watch of The Lord of the Rings, all seven Harry Potters, Star Wars, the fourteenth time you have to sit through The Lion King with children - watch for the step by step theatrical story that takes you from a stable beginning through increasingly exciting moments of linked chaos, and resolves everything with a satisfying return to a new normalcy. It’s not always a happy ending, but this storytelling framework is the classic pattern that we, in Western civilization, should expect from our performing arts. Oh, and with Shakespeare? You’ll also get the most beautiful dramatic poetry in the English language enriching the story.

THURSDAY THROUGH SATURDAY Location: St. Paul's Episcopal Church 9th and Oak Streets . Steamboat Springs All tickets are $20 and available online at Eventbrite or on the website, www.pikniktheatre.org Student pricing available; contact pikniktheatre@gmail.com, 970-355-9403

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October 2019

Valley Voice

Lowel Whiteman History / a.k.a. Steamboat Mountain School

Hogan: 1947-1977 By John Whittum

quickly stopped trotting or cantering about, and offered his neck to halter. He played this game like a professional, invariably reminding his caretakers it was he who called the shots. His stints of prankishness slowed with age but never disappeared. During Hogan’s middle decade, the camp’s small riding ring served as a miniature stadium where youngsters, teenagers, and a few adults, with or without equestrian experience, once in a while engaged in “polo” matches. Home-made mallets affixed to broom handles enabled the riders – or at least those who could manage - to hit a soccer-size, rubber ball toward the goals at either end of the ring. With few definite rules or conventions, the game became a free-for-all with the entire herd in use, and as many human participants as there were mounts. The most elementary horsemanship might sometimes prevail over the most inexperienced rider - who was often placed on Hogan - but the good-natured horse was never daunted by the uproar, and often carried his rider triumphantly into congested surges of adolescents. The ball, knocked about more often by horse hooves than mallets, rarely ever reached a goal, and after a half-hour, each human/horse pair had had enough. Though pandemonium was the rule of the day, surprisingly few mishaps ensued. All combatants, including those acting as supervisors, were more prone to indulge in riotous fun than reasonable safety measures. Hogan’s input was essential to wholesome participation by man and beast.

Hogan near 30 A True Story... He was impressive at first sight. To experienced horsemen, and to those unfamiliar with equine species, his physical image became unforgettably stamped upon visual memory. On a sunny day he seemed to be silver and blue at the same time, but in the shade he looked gray. In stature, though only of average height, he was big, broad and strong – the dominant animal at the summer camp and winter boarding school in Northwest Colorado. Few people ventured much of an opinion on his ancestry, which, except for his sire and dam, was as obscure as the legends resulting from the strange tales of his life. Fathered by a stud from a nearby quarter horse-breeding ranch, he had been foaled by a strawberry roan work mare. Their mating had been arranged by the camp’s original owner, who also hired a young Navajo experienced in horsemanship to become his caretaker. “Hogan,” the name given him by the New Mexican native, may have come from the Navajo word denoting house –“hogan” or “qoghan,” the traditional log/earth structure of his trainer’s homeland. Gelded as a yearling, and branded Bar Diamond Bar on his left shoulder, Hogan was trained for riding and packing. He could carry over 350 pounds – a saddle and a large man, or, with panniers, enough food and camping equipment for a small party to spend a week in the rugged wilderness of the continental divide. Unmistakable in the daylight and recognizable in the dark because of his size and shape,

he became an indispensable asset to his human masters and the dominant lead for the camp’s string of a dozen mounts. To hunters he was known never to be spooked by scent of bear and always capable of carrying four quarters of any downed elk. A stout, solid pack or saddle horse with a gentle and savvy disposition, he was dependable, if not always predictable. And his unique persona was infused by a sense of what was going to happen and a humor to see through everything. Not long after being broken to ride, Hogan usurped the leadership role of his older comrades. During the seasons of heavy horse activity – summer and fall – he was soon the principal steed for the wrangler to get headed toward the corral. Pastured over a twenty-acre spread of meadow and forest, the horse herd was not always eager for another day of being mounted and forced to carry sometimes careless or inconsiderate riders. The daily round up required the wrangler first to turn Hogan’s path toward the tack house so the remainder would follow - an easy task when the leader and his herd were in the right mood, but difficult whenever Hogan wanted to play, tease, or prevaricate – which, fortunately, did not occur often. Occasionally, especially on hot summer days, Hogan would not allow himself to be herded or collared, until he had made the herds’ prospective riders chase him and his buddies back and forth in whatever enclosure contained them. When satisfied, he permitted himself to be caught easily and his buddies haltered soon afterwards. The transition from escape-minded horses into docile mounts was usually instantaneous. After dodging his would-be captors, Hogan

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Many years later the dean, in composing Hogan’s obituary, was to write that he was a horse for all seasons, and that he was the only being which had been there from the very beginning, his very presence suggesting immortality and the transcendence of time. And when a staff member wanted to charm prospective teachers, students or parents, he formally introduced them to the institution’s four-footed patriarch. But as the patriarch approached the end of his third decade, his caretakers became solicitous as they observed his loss of weight, his failing teeth, and his weakening stride. They asked each other how best to alleviate the inevitable suffering most animals have to endure before their demise, and how best to arrange that terminus to be as painless as possible. Horses do not always survive the winters of Northwest Colorado, and their death from freezing or lameness is not likely to be free from misery. The favorite horse did not deserve to be pastured out until he passed away from being unable to eat hay or walk to water. Hogan’s custodians deliberated what they could do to reduce whatever agonies might naturally befall him. After many consultations among the wrangler, the chief of the summer camp, the director of the winter school, the dean of the faculty, the local veterinarian, and others who had known Hogan, the collective wisdom of those who had shared in his history resulted in the following plan. An instant, painless death, deftly administered by the vet, followed immediately by interment at the campus center - with the site to be publicly designated and memorialized – was agreed to by this consortium of elders.


Valley Voice

October 2019

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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. But the best of intentions is no indicator of a beneficial result. And, there was no way to consult with the leading character. And when the fatal day arrived, he did not cooperate. It was a splendid, brisk afternoon in late October, the shortening days, colder breezes, and billowing clouds betokening snow. A grave had been carefully excavated by the local backhoe operator who stood by his machine with sufficient earth to fill in the hole and create a raised burial mound. Some staff and students, who had been counseled as to the compassionate intelligence of their leaders’ decision, had gathered to witness the momentous undertaking, a dozen out of sympathy for the horse and others perhaps out of pure curiosity. They ambled about, the younger faces betraying anxious concern while their grim-faced superiors strained to get a job done quickly and without mishap. The vet from town arrived with his black bag. A formal ceremony was in the making, but, as someone remarked afterwards, nobody had volunteered to speak, and no one had been asked. The wrangler had haltered the blue-grey roan at the corral and then led him to the site selected to become the one-horse cemetery, a pleasant meadow of freshly mowed grass beside a small pond surrounded by willow bush and aspen. Holding the lead rope while positioning the horse close to the gaping grave, but far enough removed so that a misstep would not throw the animal into it prematurely, he turned to the vet and looked away. The old horse doctor then loaded his syringes and plunged a needle into Hogan’s neck, the crowd nervously gasping. Within a few moments, Hogan collapsed onto his knees and then rolled over to one side away from the vet, who kept monitoring the pulse which, inexplicably, kept beating. And then, Hogan’s eyes, which had gone shut with the first shot, opened wide, as his mouth swayed back and forth trying to eat the new grass cuttings, his teeth reaching out to snap viciously at the leaves. As the vet became consternated and seemingly embarrassed by what appeared to be incompetence - he said later his dosage had been enough to kill four horses – a sudden shift of mood overtook the beholders. Silent, tear-shedding grief metamorphosed into laughing, joyful relief. Twenty minutes after the injection Hogan rose to his feet, his jaws still biting at the grass as if impelled by a sudden burst of hunger and will to live. Fearful that the drugged animal might stumble alive into the hole prepared for his corpse, the backhoe man jumped quickly into his machine and pulled raw earth into the empty grave. Meanwhile the vet’s mumbled explanation of the event - “maybe it just wasn’t his time to go,” though pathetic to hear, was thoroughly welcomed.

-Kinky Friedman

from his birth, vanished into a holocaust utterly destroying the main facility. The same senior group which had planned to mercifully put down its aging mascot was preoccupied with rebuilding its establishment; thoughts of the institution’s equine component were sublimated by more pressing issues. Yet, somehow the old horse down the valley sensed more of what was happening than his caretakers could ever have reckoned. In mid-summer when reconstruction efforts were at their height, word spread quickly that the ancient horse had not only broken free of the fences enclosing him, but that he had been seen plodding his way back up the dirt road to his original home and birthplace. People in the know scrambled to get sight of him, many taking photographs of the wizened animal very slowly stepping uphill alone. As he neared the entrance, he stopped, perhaps to listen to the builders, or at least to those who had not been silenced and stupefied by the sight of him - grim, gaunt and ghostly, staring stolidly into their midst. The workmen themselves, rapt in the business of completing a new school building before September, continued to scurry and scamper spiking timbers. Although Hogan was apparently gazing back at them, it is likely his animal eyes did not visualize much, but that his ears, nose, and other senses perceived the new activity seems undeniable. His memorable stance at the gateway was impressive, and his presence there a troublesome reminder

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Several days later he was dead. Led back very slowly down to that same pasture, he may have spent a few more nights in his winter quarters, now green again with summer grass. No one knew exactly when he died: it might well have been the same day he drudged uphill. When his body was first sighted from afar, it had already swollen though not yet decomposed. Up close, Hogan appeared statuesque - lying upside down on his back, his four feet raised skyward, in the midst of a magnificent grove of aged cottonwood trees.

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With the halter and lead rope still dangling from the horse that would not be euthanized, the wrangler led Hogan back to the corral. Soon, he and a few buddies were put out to pasture several miles down the road, where the little herd was fed hay every day for many months. That same winter, which was not as severe as expected, the entire camp/school complex burned to the ground one February night. The old building, which Hogan had known

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October 2019

Valley Voice

Bonnifield Files Downtown Yampa

Licenses, Ammo, Groceries & All Your Hunting needs under One Roof

The Artist Goes Western: What Frank Tenney Johnson Experienced By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield

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cowboys fresh from the saloons and in a festive mood en- S tered the sack race and other street events. Horses raced o down Main Street – some were planned and others were b the result of whiskey talk. In mid-afternoon, a baseball o game lasted until evening. The bucking horse contest fol- “ lowed, and the evening light was so poor Frank was unable r to take quality photographs. The notorious bucking horse, t “Pin Ears,” bucked off a couple of riders, and Kid Vaughn t won the contest. c

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Frank Tenney Johnson Arriving at Hayden in late May 1904, Frank Tenney Johnson quickly adapted to life in northwestern Colorado. He sketched, using oils, pencils, and water colors, dozens of people and locations in the area. Everywhere he went, he took his camera and photographed the free range ranching world before the railroad brought civilization to the raw frontier. The last week of June, he rode to the roundup in Twenty Mile Park where most of the “hands” quickly accepted him. They soon learned he was willing and able to ride hard and fast through the brush and rough country. His horse stepped in a badger hole and Johnson hit the ground hard. A few days later while racing to turn a wild cow, his horse stepped in another hole and fell on Frank’s leg, badly bruising it. He was laid up for a few days but never complained and helped where he could around the camp. His obvious toughness and willingness to work even in rain, hail, and violent wind storms put him in good standing with the cowboys. Of course, taking photos of the cowboys and giving them prints also went a long way toward his acceptance. The roundup was not over when Craig threw its big 4th of July Celebration. On the morning of the celebration, Johnson accompanied Kid Vaughn and Marco Ogden setting a wild pace into town, arriving on horses foaming with white sweat lather. At the river, they slowed long enough for Frank to photograph ten of them crossing. Craig had the only brass band in northwestern Colorado. According to Johnson, “they tore off Yankee Doodle and they really tore it to pieces rather roughly – when they were not in the saloon wetting their lips.” Some dignitary mounted a platform and read the Declaration of Independence while everyone continued to talk, sing, or whatever. By midmorning the saloons were lively. In the afternoon,

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Johnson and a couple of cowboys started back to camp at T sundown. As they approached the river, new hatches of o mosquitoes filled the air making travel miserable until get- J ting well in the hills. About midmorning the next day, the t others came into camp – some still whooping it up, others t badly hung over – all in need of a place to sleep. w h When the calf roundup broke up and only a few hands J remained at the horse camp in Twenty Mile Park, Johnson s rode out to photograph Ed Miles, the Cary Ranch roundup t foreman. Miles was a recognized good hand and bronco t rider, and Miles wanted a picture of himself sitting a bad a one. The cowboys corralled a well-known outlaw, roped i him, and finally got a hack-a-more on him. Then he broke h loose from the snubbers and raced through a bunch of cat- c tle dragging Kid Vaughn. Eventually the horse was stopped and the saddling began only to have the outlaw strike with A both front feet and escape again. Finally after much sweat a and tears, the horse was saddled. Miles stepped on, and v Frank readied the camera. Frank took the picture quickly, a but not fast enough. Ed was departing the horse in an y unplanned dismount. After recapturing the outlaw, Vaughn r mounted him and made a ride. Frank was photographing the true wild west just before it passed into history. J M Later in August, at the beef roundup, Frank witnessed f the hands starting out to do the afternoon work. This J big roundup of seven wagons represented many brands. l Nearly half the horses bucked and many were “eared a down” so riders could mount. It just couldn’t get any more m western than this for the aspiring artist. fi r Sand Springs, northwest of Craig, was the only watering C place for miles around. While the roundup was camped t nearby, Frank could see, sketch, and photograph wolves, coyotes, lions, and many birds. He witnessed men working S fast, chasing wild horses and loose range horses. In 1904, h horse ranches dotted the free range. Unbranded horses N were considered wild while branded horses were identi- i fied as loose. F i Johnson got another look at the west. He became friends m with John Millsap, the roundup cook for the 7s. Down C in Texas someone was about to go on trial for shooting a Millsap’s brother. John quit to attend the trial. If the jury b didn’t find the defendant guilty, John planned to pay a t Mexican ten dollars to kill him. John also thought friends t of the defendant might kill him, if not, he would return in a few weeks. As a parting gift he gave Frank his cowboy hat H and shirt. Johnson now had a real cowboy outfit. C h Frank rode into Hayden and was returning to the 7s camp w north of Hayden in the late evening when down the road f


Valley Voice

October 2019

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Drink of the Month

came a buggy with two horses running hard, and two welloiled men whooping and gleefully yelling “wahaoo.” The horses jumped the ditch, but the buggy didn’t. One man was thrown high in the air and came down hard. Eventually the driver stopped the run-away and came back to pick up the other man. Then they drove quietly away. Shortly after, two boys came along driving a little bunch of cattle. They had killed an enormous rattlesnake – ten buttons. Frank talked the boys out of the snake, wrapped it on the saddle horn and rode into camp. Walking to his tent, “Booger Faced Bill” called from his tent that Old Lot had returned and claimed his tent and bed. Frank would have to sleep outside on the ground. Johnson began rattling the snake and threatened to put it into a tent. A reluctant cowboy let Frank into his tent. Teams and saddle horses at roundups were usually only partly trained, and they were always dangerous as Johnny Brighton learned. He hooked up four horses to the mess wagon and started to gather his lines when the horses bolted. Brighton grabbed the slack in his lines when the lead team lunged forward yanking him out of his seat. He hit on his back on the tongue. Frank thought Johnny might be run over. The speeding wagon wheel suddenly sank into a boggy spot and stopped, breaking the tongue. Brighton was now in a really bad spot. A quick thinking cowboy roped the lead horse and stopped the run away. Brighton climbed out of the mess without serious injury. However, during the roundup one cowboy had a horse fall with him and broke a leg and another broke his collar bone. A proper Victorian gentleman of his age, Johnson was astonished when he saw Florence Cary of the leading Denver family and wealthy ranch owners, racing her horse and riding like a wild Indian. The Bowman girls, seventeen years old, were wearing split skirts, sitting astride, and racing up and down the streets, challenging the men. Johnson came to Hayden to experience the raw west. Miles from the railroad he found what he was looking for, although he thought Hayden was a small quiet town. Johnson described it as “dead as Gettysburg.” Nevertheless, he did witness a fight and near knifing at the bowling alley. He noted that cowboys loved to sing – usually church melodies with risqué words. He also enjoyed hunting and fishing, but he wanted to continue to the southwest and return to New York before winter. However, hearing about Cheyenne Frontier Days, he decided to enjoy the festivities. Shortly after arriving in Hayden in late May, Frank wrote his wife Vinnie that he had not had a bath since leaving New York. The rivers were too icy and “Bath tubs are not in style with the men I travel with.” Like his companions, Frank seldom changed his clothes on the range. Boarding the special train from Denver to Cheyenne, Frank maintained his “real cowboy” appearance. Arriving in Cheyenne, he was unable to rent a hotel room. (Is there any doubt why?) He spent the night in a “flop house” with bed bugs and a very drunk cowboy. After a bath and shave the next day, he found decent lodging and truly enjoyed the next full week. He never returned to Hayden, although he later moved to Colorado, but the photographs, sketches, and impressions he created in the Yampa Valley were the foundation on which he built a successful career. Contracting meningitis following a visit with friends, Frank died at age 64.

How To Beerfest By Eric Kemper

Beer, for all of its complexity and ubiquity, is such a simple beverage. It starts with only four ingredients, yet in every glass is contained a history of the world from which each beer originates. Water, malt, hops and yeast are what it takes to make this most popular of drinks worldwide. The type of grains, hops and yeast strains the brewer selects determines the characteristics in each glass, and what story that particular beer will tell. Everyone who’s reading this story has been to a party. Many parties, even. Since this is a column largely dedicated to alcohol and adult subjects, I have to trust that none of my readers are under the age of 21. If so, please look away now and turn to another article. Or maybe don’t, since a little bit of knowledge is good for anyone, no matter their age. There are many types of parties that we attend over the course of our lives. There’s the family party, where the grandmas and the aunts show up, everyone brings a dish and you all go home saying, “That was nice.” There are the special parties, where we meet that one person and the night lingers in our minds for months or years. Then there are the triumphant parties, with moments that endure and stories that last forever. Shared events bond friends together for life, where you walk to the precipice without toppling over, and everyone who wasn’t there feels lesser for having missed out. A good party can become so legendary that its anniversary can be a party unto itself. Such is the story of the marriage celebration of Bavaria’s Crown Prince Ludwig to Therese of Saxe-Hildburghhausen in 1810, an anniversary commemorated annually as a celebration of all things Bavarian, Oktoberfest.

amongst all the rest of the games and activities, or a short tasting focused session where beer is the true center of attention, the strategies remain largely the same. With a little forethought and planning, your beer fest can be more like a triumphant event you remember for life rather than a shameful experience you remember with a face palm every time. 1. Plan Ahead. Make sure you have all of your serious adulting done before you go. Are you getting a room nearby, or will you need a ride home? Is there a designated driver, or will you take public transport? What are the routes? The last thing you need after a party is to try to drunkenly figure out how to get home without driving drunk. Work before play, always. 2. Go In With The Right Mindset. You are going to a beer fest. There will be beer. The greatest danger is not that you won’t get enough beer; it’s that you’ll get too much. Take it as a marathon and not a sprint. 3. Be Discerning. You will be inundated with options. You can’t try them all. You probably can’t even get to all the ones you might want to try, so make sure the ones you do try are the best. Seek out that whale you’ve been chasing, maybe even wait in a long line for a rare pour. Good things can indeed come to those who wait. 4. Try Something New. That said, there are going to be breweries and styles that you’ve never heard of; try some since you have the opportunity. You never know what hidden gems or new favorites you might find.

Oktoberfest in Munich is still the largest beer festival in the world; in 2013, 7.7 million liters of beer were consumed over the course of the event. Here in Colorado, Denver hosts America’s largest beer fest, The Great American Beer Festival, which in 2018 hosted 62,000 attendees and 800 breweries served over 4,000 different beers.

5. Food Is Good… Don’t go into the fest with an empty stomach. Even if you are planning to eat at the fest, go in with something in your belly. A great beer fest snack is a pretzel necklace; they are a natural match with beer, they help ‘cleanse the palate’ between beers, and they are so easy to make that I’ve done it while waiting in line to get in. Snacking while drinking is truly one of life’s great simple pleasures.

The two, though, have very different natures. Oktoberfest is a 16 to 18 day folk festival that is as much about music, food and amusement rides and games as it is about beer. The GABF is held over three days, and consists of four tasting sessions that are around four hours long each. Beer is poured one ounce at a time, and you are welcome to as many as you want during a session.

6. …But Water Is Essential. Drink water constantly throughout. While this is just generally good advice for everyday life, it is so much more so when you are drinking. Beer fests usually have water throughout, both for rinsing mugs and refreshment. Every moment you are drinking water, you aren’t drinking beer. And there are plenty of moments to drink beer.

And that’s the trick to both of these. The flip side of the legendarily great party is the legendarily bad one. Things are said, actions are taken and not remembered or apologized for, stuff gets broken, and inevitably you end up being “That Guy.” No one ever wants to be “That Guy.” Too much alcohol first reduces your inhibitions and then impairs your judgment, until the stupidest thing you could think of seems like a brilliant idea. Too much alcohol is a quick path to being “That Guy.” Don’t be “That Guy!”

7. Know When To Say When. Fun is fun, I don’t care who you are. But there will come a point when the primitive monkey part of your brain will try to steer, urging you on. Resist this. Better to leave them wanting more of you than wishing for less. Don’t be “That Guy!”

But how do you keep your head about you when you’re in a place where the beer flows like water? Whether you are at an all-day festival where beer is a constant presence

Whether it’s your first beer fest or your 101st, whether an all-day affair or a short session, whether the options number in the thousands or mere dozens, these basics will help you to create a great story, and perhaps even a party to celebrate year after year. Cheers!

By three methods we may learn wisdom. First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by wisdom, which is the bitterest.—Confucius


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Investor Expands from Steamboat to Hayden, Craig By Brodie Farquhar and Patrick Delaney to move and expand YVBC into the grounds of The Granary, a block to the north. The building and the silos on the west side of The Granary can provide more seating for customers, an outdoor patio, space for greater brewing capacity, retail opportunities for locals, a kid-friendly environment and attract an array of valley food trucks to the facility. Dufresne said Hayden’s architecture firm, Axial Arts is working on designs for the brewery’s future home. The goal is to finish design by this winter, then hit the construction phase in spring, he said. Longer range, said Brinkman, is a future facility in Steamboat.

Paul Brinkman, founder of Brinkman Development and Construction, has been carefully selecting investment opportunities in Steamboat Springs since he moved his family to the resort town nine years ago. Last month, that interest extended down valley to Hayden and Craig. Brothers Paul and Kevin Brinkman founded a Ft. Collins commercial development, construction and real estate development firm, which has been active up and down the Front Range, from Colorado Springs to Cheyenne. Three years ago, they went through an extensive reorganization that sold the construction company to employees and spun-off a brokerage, investment and consulting division. The goal, enunciated in 2016, was to create a group designed to meet national standards of social and environmental performance, accountability and transparency – especially community enhancing projects.

Elaina and Jared Aylor, for all their hard work in starting the company. He is supporting the future growth of YVBC with thr recently opened Barrel Cathedral taphouse in Craig. “Craig was the largest city in Colorado without a brewery,” said Brinkman. Equipped with a full kitchen, Barrel Cathedral is more than a bar, he said, but a community gathering space in downtown Craig. The brewmasters already sell a range of their brews to 20 northwest Colorado restaurants and stores, but have been bumping-up against capacity. “We need to increase production (and customer space),” said Brinkman, which is why he and Dufresne have been talking with Tammie

In Steamboat Springs, the Brinkman Family has developed the 42-unit Skiview Apartments, Pahwintah subdivision and recently acquired the Sundance Plaza at Fish Creek. In Hayden, Brinkman has several projects. For $1.52 million, he bought Hayden Village Townhomes from Darrin Fryer and Louis Nijsten – 10 pre-fabricated “tiny homes” near downtown. While the original developers sought to sell the homes, Brinkman is renting them – seven of the ten already rented. The Brinkmans also this fall acquired the Yampa Valley Brewing Company. Paul Brinkman calls the partners/ brewmasters – Christian Dufresne and Erica Tieppo – “two of the most talented brewmasters I’ve encountered in Colorado.” He also praised the brewery's founders,

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Brinkman is also partnering with the Delaneys in pursuit of their vision for the historic complex. They’ve started with a new building for a pizza oven and plan a kitchen remodel for the upcoming year. The Brinkmans and Delaneys want to complement the current Wild Goose Coffee Shop with “new and vibrant spaces for the community to gather,” said Brinkman. Tammie Delaney remarked that historic buildings like The Granary have a spirit or soul. What the Brinkmans and Delaneys are trying to figure out, she said, “is how to repurpose something old into new uses, while honoring the past.” Brinkman added that working in northwest Colorado is not a sprint, but a marathon. He said he wants to take his time on projects, and not try to do too much, too fast. He’s very aware that Craig, with the impending closure of a power plant and possibly coal mines, may be in for rough times. But he saw his native Ft. Collins weather the closure of a Kodak plant, and Hewlett Packard, and bounce back. “I think there are resilient people in the valley,” he added. “This place gives us so much to be grateful for,” said Brinkman. “As the valley continues to grow, we want to do our part to ensure that the growth serves the people who live and work here now and the generations coming up after them. We think that if we put the community first, any project that we choose to pursue and deliver will reap great rewards.”


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Your Money - Your Life

It is Easy to Wander into Debt – It is Almost Impossible to Wander Out By Scott L. Ford

If it’s money and comes into your household’s bank account, it’s income! Be sure to write it down and add it all up in your budget. And don’t forget to plug your saving and giving categories into your budget! Saving money isn’t a matter of math— it’s a matter of priorities, and the same is true for giving. If you don’t make saving and giving a priority at the start of your budget, chances are you won’t make them a priority in the future. PLUS, giving is the most fun you’ll ever have with money! And if you know me, you know the one thing I prioritize is fun.

2. Write down your monthly expenses. I received a few comments about last month’s column where I made the case that credit card reward programs result in over-spending, and likely for some, ever-increasing amounts of debt. Credit cards are only a part of the debt problem. Vehicle loan payments are likely the number one reason why folks have little to no savings. In addition, for many under age 40, few have escaped the crushing reality of student loans. Add to these loan payments the financial obligations of groceries, rent/mortgage, transportation, utilities and childcare and it is little wonder that according to the federal reserve as of end of 2018, about 80% of American households would describe themselves as living paycheck to paycheck. Living paycheck to paycheck is considered normal in America. Eventually some folks just grow weary of living this way. They become sick and tired of the monthly stress and want to stop it. I know I did. Without question breaking the paycheck to paycheck cycle is hard. There is no magic formula. It takes first having a plan, patience and most of all perseverance to stick to the plan. The first step on the journey to break the paycheck to paycheck cycle is to develop a written zero-based budget. Zero-based budgeting is a way of budgeting where you give every dollar of your income a job at the beginning of the month. With a zero-based budget, you have to make sure your expenses match your income. This process helps you think carefully how you plan on spending your income for the coming month. You are telling your dollars where to go vs. wondering at the end of the month where they went. The most passionate promoter of zero-based budgeting is personal finance pro Dave Ramsey. Rather than trying to find ways to describe how to begin zero-base budgeting, I will just use his words and acknowledge him for them.

Before the new month even begins, write down every expense. Things like rent, food, cable, phones, and everything in between should be added to the list. But be sure to start your budget with the Four Walls—that’s food, shelter and utilities, basic clothing, and transportation. After you’ve got all the essentials covered, continue listing out the rest of your monthly expenses. Your needs will change from month to month, which is why you need to make a new spending plan every single month. Don’t get overwhelmed! Just focus on one month at a time.

3. Write down your seasonal expenses. Now think through the whole calendar year—what expenses will you have coming up that you can start planning for? You know Christmas is in December every year, so there’s no reason to act like it suddenly snuck up on you. Regardless of the occasion, make sure you prepare for those expenses in the budget. Things like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are set dates that shouldn’t surprise you—or your budget. Next, think about all the irregular expenses that can pop up. Plan for those too! Things like car tag renewal fees, property taxes, and even your insurance premiums can be budgeted for. If you set aside a little bit each month, you won’t feel the strain of an expense "blindsiding" you all at once.

You can do this the old-fashioned way with a sheet of paper, or you can use our super easy and free budgeting app EveryDollar. Your income should include paychecks, small-business income, side hustles, residual income, child support, and any other cash you bring in.

If you’re spending more than you make, trim up the budget so your income and outgo equal zero. To cut back expenses, try buying generic at the grocery store, cutting the cable, using coupons or the store’s app, making coffee instead of buying it, or catching a carpool to work. If you need to bring in more money, start a side hustle or look for stuff around the house that you can sell to make quick cash. Here’s the deal with a zero-based budget: Every dollar must have a name! That doesn’t mean you have zero dollars in your bank account at the end of the month—it just means you have zero dollars left over in your budget. If you fill out every line item in your budget and come out $100 ahead (meaning you have nothing for that $100 to do), you haven’t finished your budget! You must assign that remaining $100 to something. Whatever you decide is totally up to you. But if you don’t give it a name, it will be spent, and you’ll end up wondering where that extra $100 went. And who wants to lose $100?

5. Track and go! All that’s left now is for you to track your expenses throughout the month. It’s the only way you will know if your spending lines up with your plan! This is how you’ll start winning with money throughout the month AND throughout the year. When you track your expenses and engage with your money, you actually make progress and learn to love your life—and your bank account.

Next Month: How to Begin Attacking Your Debt Aggressively

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1. Write down your monthly income.

. We want this number to be zero, but it might take some practice to get there. Don’t be shocked or worried if they don’t balance each other out right away. That just means you need to do something to bring one of the numbers up, the others down, or both! It’ll take some work, but getting this written down is what will give you permission to spend without regret!

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18

October 2019

Valley Voice

Mensan Musings

The Joy of Questions By Wolf Bennett

As a culture we have a major tendency to focus on the answers. After all, answers are solutions to problems. We give a great deal less interest to the questions. After all, everybody has questions, they’re easy. It is the answers that take the work, right? Not really, and it overlooks the real power of questions. Asking questions gives you a better understanding of everything.

First, what is a dog? Most people would list the physical characteristics that dogs have in common, things like, “A dog has four legs, has fur, is loyal and is friendly”. Now this would be totally true of many dogs but would you still consider a three legged dog a dog? A dog doesn’t stop being a dog if it isn’t friendly, loyal or even if it doesn’t have fur. It doesn’t suddenly become some other animal.

But where do you start? How can you learn to know what you don’t know? How can you know that you are ignorant of any number of things? No, you don’t have to begin with the big questions of life, the universe, and everything (that answer, by the way, is 42, ref. Douglas Adams). That line of reasoning will probably lead you to huge roadblocks so please, start a little smaller. Understand a little more deeply, grasp the implications of a really good question and the bigger things will follow.

There is a component of DNA that is the same for all dogs, some sort of code that tells cells to “become” a dog. Some stage of “wolfness” becomes a dog, as all dogs are related to wolves (not foxes or cats). Why don’t we reference a specific gene sequence when we are explaining what a dog is? Because it wouldn’t in any way communicate what we mean by the word dog. Dogs have properties that relate to our experience of them. The problem is that all dogs don’t have the same properties, do they? And yet they are all dogs. The conceptual ideas of language that further confuse what we are trying to say (like "this car is a dog,” “dog tired,” “dog eared pages in a book” or one of my favorites, “puppy tummy”) is a whole other topic.

Asking questions means you want to know something and are interested in learning. You want to understand and to grow, so that is a really good thing, good on you for the strong start. There is a tremendous value in examining the seemingly mundane questions, the simple ones that feel quite basic, but are actually very powerful. Once we reach a certain age, typically around the time we hit double digits, we either think we know the answers or we are often afraid that we don’t and cannot admit it. It is OK to learn and to be ignorant, yet please remain curious and open. Consider these few questions: 1. What is a dog? 2. What is blue? 3. What is a point in time? At your first look, these seem almost self evident, don’t they? Simple elementary ideas, right? Actually these are really, difficult questions that can develop a great deal of thought and a rather large array of benefits from just looking a little deeper and really looking at the concepts that underlie their seeming simplicity.

What our minds do is to fix a vague concept of “dogness.” It cannot be an image, because then it would be a specific dog and it cannot be explicitly defined because we wouldn’t encompass the whole category. So our brains keep it at a sort of fuzzy level that, despite its lack of precision, is quite useful when we need to communicate in any way about dogs. The abstract concept must remain abstract to retain its usefulness. When we slip and choose a particular dog or vision our comments become too specific and communication starts mucking up. So, are you being pedantic when you ask, “what is a dog?”. No, not at all. You’re actually doing something very important. You are assessing the understanding of the person you are talking to in reference to your understanding to create a common ground. And you discover that it is not going to be a perfect match. So, what is blue? Oh my, this one is definitely more difficult than saying, “it is a color.” So what is a color? A quality

that some things possess? Awesome, where can I get some of that quality? Um, nowhere. Blue is a quality that does not exist outside of the objects that possess it (or actually don’t possess but reflect it in a certain light wavelength, if you will). There is no place you can see blue without something being blue. That is quite unfair, don’t you think? I know blue, I see blue, I can even feel blue (sort of). A change in the way my eyes and brain process light and there could cease to be blue in my world. But blueness would always be out there, a property of the interaction of light and molecules that is very clear but doesn’t actually exist on its own. Does this make asking, “what is blue?” a waste of time? No, not at all. Wanting to get a grip on the basics is never a waste of time. You can learn what you can influence and what you cannot. In this case you learn that you can change the color of an object, but you are powerless when it comes to the color itself. So, what is a point in time? “Painful this one is” as Yoda would say. What is a point? Euclid provided some definitions over 2000 years ago: 1. A point is that which has no part. 2. A line is length without breadth. 3. A surface is that which has length and breadth only. From this we can conclude that a point has neither length nor breadth. Just fine, it is just this thing and if you connect two of them with length you get a line, which works because Euclid also said, “the extremities of lines are points. Yay, it all works. Conceptually, it makes sense. I get it enough to do basic geometry. But, if you actually think about it, your brain might explode. A point has neither length nor breadth? What does it have? Really, doesn’t it need to have something in order to be something? Something without beginning nor end or even a middle? Anything that occupies space must have length and breadth however small it might be. Since points have neither, they cannot occupy space and so the question is begged as to how they can form the ends of a line? How can they be anything? A similar thing happens when you try to conceive of a point in time. It is something we all get. We say things like, “going forward,” “we’re starting here,” “the beginning of...” as if there is a specific moment we can measure all other moments from. But how would you describe a moment in time? To say that implies that there are many moments, all of which could be distinguished from each other. But can they be? What fills the space in between them? And if you say “nothing”, then how could points be distinguished at all? Are we unreasonable then when we question, “what is a point in time?” No, we cannot question everything every day, as it would likely put us in some state of paralysis, but asking questions like this shows that there is much to be gained from the act of trying to answer. We can learn a lot, often more, from the work involved in understanding a question than from the answer itself. There are no dumb questions. Ask away. Reach farther and then farther again. Be creative, laugh deeply and be a little bit crazy. They are the straightest path to learning.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.


Valley Voice

October 2019

Tales from the Front Desk

Burned Out

The Towel

Smoke and Mirrors By Sean Derning

By Aimee Kimmey

The story you are about to read is true... More or less. Monday. 9:43 am. Breakfast Buffet. "I. Have. Never! What sort of establishment are you running here?!" The large woman had bustled out of the breakfast room like wolves were chasing her. She waddled so fast, the miniature dog she had in her handbag looked queasy. Baffled, the clerk stared at her. Admittedly, this one had been a challenge from the start. She'd balked at the security deposit for her tiny dog, her room wasn't big enough, she needed more towels, she wasn't happy with her view, ect. ect. The clerk wasn't shocked to see her so offended, but she couldn't see why. The breakfast buffet wasn't that bad. Maybe a blanket apology was the best start, "I'm sorry...?" The woman's cheeks were flushed, her pupils contracted into tiny fiery pits that looked like the gateway to hell. Her nostrils flared and the clerk could see the artery in her throat pulse. "How am I supposed to enjoy my breakfast when I have to look at that?!" The woman jabbed a pointy little finger back toward the breakfast bar. The clerk stood up to get a better look, "Did something spill?" When she'd laid out the breakfast buffet this morning, she hadn't noticed anything even remotely offensive. I mean sure, calling it a buffet might have been a bit of a stretch, but the bagels and muffins were at least fresh. "I had no idea when I booked the room that it was that kind of place. You should put a warning on your website!" The pudgy little woman spun on her heel and marched away from the front desk, her panty hose chaffing loudly against her snug polyester dress. "Uh..." Deeply confused, the clerk watched her storm out of sight. What could possibly have gone so wrong with breakfast? As the clerk walked around the counter, an older couple exited from the dining room. They looked slightly embarrassed. When they saw the clerk, they burst into nervous giggles. Okay, seriously, what the hell? The clerk marched through the double doors into the sunny room they reserved for breakfast. A few guests lingered over coffee or cereal at the various tables. Not a one of them moved, every single set of eyes gaped at the young couple loading up their trays. The clerk froze in the doorway. The sight that met her eyes took several long seconds for her brain to comprehend. The couple chatted casually as they doctored coffee, then tucked it between the banana and the orange juice on their trays. The girl delicately pulled a hot bagel out of the toaster and began to slather cream cheese onto it. The guy selected a plump blueberry muffin. It all seemed so frightfully normal, except that neither of them had a stitch of clothing on. They both wore nothing

19

It seems that e-cigarettes, or vaping, appears to be a legit health concern, especially with the under 21 crowd. Without climbing on a soapbox, maybe the following could dissuade a next generation of smokers to abstain. but a hotel towel stretched tightly around their naked bits. They seemed completely oblivious that all the other guests around the room had stopped eating to ogle shamelessly. For a long moment the clerk stood at the edge of the room, staring with the rest of the guests. As the young couple turned toward her, they smiled casually, without a care in the world. Suddenly the clerk realized she was gawking. She pulled herself together, smiled, and stepped toward the young couple. They were about to settle into a table when she caught them, "Hey guys." "Hi." The girl grinned as she tipped her tray toward the table. Behind her an older gentleman's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull as she leaned forward. "So..." The clerk said, "We kind of have a clothing policy down here." "Huh?" The young man look genuinely shocked, " Oh! We were just doing laundry." The girl giggled, the clerk worried the skimpy hotel towel would let loose at any second. Every eyeball around the room watched, waiting for it. "We're on the road, this is the first chance we've had to do laundry." The girl explained. "Yeah, no, I get that. But maybe you'd be more comfortable waiting for that wash cycle in your room...?" The clerk shifted her eyes to discreetly point out all the lookee-loos.

When I was a little nipper, dad caught me smoking. His punishment was to make me smoke an entire pack of cigarettes in one sitting while he cut the lawn. The concentrated taste caused me to throw up and I was as green as the grass he had just cut. Call me old fashioned, but if you want to make something less appealing, change the flavor, like they did when the switched old Coke to new Coke. Make such flavors as fudge, gummy bear and bubble gum illegal and replace them with the following suggestions:

-Nut paste -Jelly belly lint -Runny bunny honey -Clam n' lime -Prune polenta -Ginger liverwurst -Dr. Pepperocini -Tuna taffy -Sour septic patch -Mango monkey cage -Pesto pumpkin spice -Sunny lemon litterbox -Burn-a-turd Maybe it will curtail usage, who knows? Or maybe it’s just a pipe dream.

For the first time the young couple glanced around them. There was an uncomfortable shuffle of cups and plates as the other guests tried, and failed, to pretend they weren't staring. "Oh!" The young man said, "Yeah! That's, that's a good idea, we'll take this back to our room." Red rushing across his cheeks. He glanced at his girlfriend, she was growing a bit pink around the edges too. They giggled and turned for the door with their trays. Everyone in the room was still glued to the scene. The clerk wanted to wave her arms and shout, "Back to your breakfast people! Nothing to see here. Nothing to see!" Instead she just stood in the door, blocking the view as the young couple retreated. When they were gone, the gentle clinking of crockery and quiet conversation returned, everyone mumbling about the recent scene no doubt. The clerk grinned to herself as she returned to the front desk, at least they had something to talk about over breakfast.

Life is like unto a long journey with a heavy burden.—Tokugawa Ieyasu


20

October 2019

Valley Voice

Halloween Censorship

Tears of a Clown By Sean Derning, Former Rodeo Clown

Smoking Acecessories & Other Curiosities

As we head toward Halloween at the end of the month, a certain controversy may rear its evil head once again; the decision to ban clown costumes in public schools. A few years ago, our district decided to do just that, saying no to clowns for Halloween. After juggling my emotions, I’ve decided to break the silence and tell you this jester knows bester.

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That decision made this clown frown. Making the choice to paint your face, wear a rainbow wig and colorful, oversized clothing is simply a matter of personal expression. The goal of a clown is to spread joy, not fear. And do you know how difficult it is to keep smiling while pedaling that ittybitty bicycle wearing those big shoes?

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Censoring one specific character is ludicrous, and for what is the reason given? I look down my foam nose at those who forbid a character that is currently viewed in a less-than-flattering spotlight through the media-fueled circus of American society. Does that then make it OK for me to squirt my venom-filled lapel flower at other face painters like mimes, members of KISS, Kabuki or Cirque du Soleil performers? They’d beat me silly with my own slapstick!

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For those who live here and for those who wish they did. a

What people choose to be on Halloween should only be limited by our imaginations. If people exhibit poor taste in costume choices, let society call them Bozos, but do not impose boundaries. My mother stopped telling me how to dress when I was five and has not interfered since, although she was not a huge fan of my Marilyn Manson/ Goth phase. “Keep your hands off my mascara,” she warned. Whether I should choose to be a balding Wookie, Smurf supremacist, or Mike the Headless Chicken on Halloween is my business. Halloween is truly one of this country’s greatest days of outward expression and the chance to be the person you really want to be. It’s about fantasy. It’s about imagination. It’s about fun. Clowns simply shouldn’t become this month’s social whipping boys, and don’t think for a moment we will simply dive into a bucket of water and disappear. Beating up on a person who makes people happy defies all logic, a baffling thought process similar to wondering how all those clowns fit into that tiny car?


Valley Voice

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

October 2019

The Second Date

It’s all about your Happiness

By Mr. Helpful, MD

I originally wrote about the Second Date nearly 2 years ago. After re-reading it, I found a few flaws and I want to make these corrections. I do stand by my original opener: THIS. IS. A BIG. FRICKIN. DEAL. – take it as one. Men and women alike. Also, and possibly more important, do not take it for granted. No matter how charming you think you are, how sexy you think you are, how stupid you think they are and/or how desperate either of you both might be; a Second Date has more meaning and potential than you realize. The truth of a second date is that it means both parties are thinking about how they would like to find out what kind of a kisser the other is going to be (if of course this wasn’t already discovered on the first date, hehe). I’m not saying anyone is going to be lovers because nothing is guaranteed and sex is something to be gifted/earned/ deserved/talked about with honesty. Oh, who are we kidding, if you want to jump their bones, just make sure it’s consensual ya two hormone filled monkeys. Be respectful and ask permission. But if an overly eager type A comes on too strong, not reading the signs properly, things can turn on a dime. All dreams come crashing down with drinks in faces, bad language thrown around or handcuffs being applied a little too tightly. We all need to learn to read the signs our date is giving us; to ask questions; to be respectful – and with that possibly be rewarded with what we all are looking forward to … super happy naked fun time hour with someone who thinks we’re cute and funny. I still believe all of that is important and true. Especially the respect your partner thing. Communication is key. “I like to do things that adults like to do. How about you?” “Yes, so do I. However, I’m someone who enjoys a deeper mental/emotional connection.” The Asker – The Second Date is a clear sign you didn’t blow it on the First Date, like you thought you did. If you asked for the second date during or at the end of the first one and they answered right then, good for you. If you asked and they said they wanted to think about it and THEN said yes; well winner winner chicken dinner fer you cowboy!! All signals ahead are green, proceed according to the moment. At the same time, don’t blow it by being a hyper nut bag who hasn’t had sex in 4 years. Pace yerself damn it!! When going for The Ask, the more comfortable move is to wait until moments before the date will come to an end. Instead of asking for the next date – offer your feelings about what a good time you had THIS Date and IF they feel the same way, you’d love to see them. This is a gentle approach, nonconfrontational. Especially if you and your date are not on the same page. It gives all parties involved a soft landing if they are going to say no. I was told that this gentle approach of my suggesting is the easy way out. That if you want something, you tell them straight out that you enjoyed your time and want to see them again. Ask them direct and ask them for the answer – yes or no. Sounds kind of “car salesman” to me, but I will admit that there are folks in the world who are

21

Poetry

Summer's Green Growth By Fran Conlon

very successful at being forward. If the direct approach works for you, then have at it. You/we all must do what works for us. The Accepter – Do not go on a Second Date unless you feel that this character is going to be interesting enough for you; aka Sponge Worthy (Seinfeld reference, look it up or have someone explain it to you). Romance, my friends, is why we are on a date to begin with anyway. No, do not accept a second date if you do not have romantic feelings for the Asker. No, do not be a garbage person and accept a second date when all you want to get is another free meal. And no, do not accept a second date if you have been promised gifts. If your soul is that empty that you must be bribed to be with someone, then you should not be out in public. Seek professional help. Give me a call, I’m helpful with things like this. Potential sex, not friendship – Yuppers, a Second Date has strong over tones of skin to skin contact. Potentially. Nothing is in written in stone. Nothing is promised. Take those words to heart and pump the brakes on your hormones. Men and women alike! A Second Date COULD be the staging for body contact; i.e. holding hands, arm in arm, first goooood kiss (unless this has already been taken care of) and possibly more physical contact. (wink, nudge, wink) Again, pay attention to your date. If you are not feeling romantic thoughts toward them, PLEASE tell your second date that you think they are interesting, funny, charming, fun, intelligent, great to be around; however you are not feeling the kind of romantic connection you were hoping for. This does not have to be done to their face, unless they are pressing for an answer. Then be as kind as is appropriate. Potential relationship – The ultimate upshot of a Second Date is that we are beginning to see the other person as the amazing individual we want next to us for years on end (or, and this is being honest – they are totally kissable and you want in on that crazy fun with them tonight). Yes – (finally) a healthy loving relationship (potentially). Oh sure, the first date was incredible, but now there has been a few hours between then and now. WOWZERS, the anticipation was NUTZ, Right?!? See, this is what I’m talking about. Second Date jitters are quickly replaced with confidence of knowing your date truly wants to be there with you. And possibly the day after that and the one after that as well. Fingers crossed.

Next Month’s Column – Talking politics on a first date – how some opinionated people lose out on every good chance to find happiness because they can’t keep their stupid overly opinionated fat mouths shut and that’s why they’re still single.

Summer's green growth at abundant ease, Cottonwood leaves catch sun's back-light, With silver tinges that dance in the breeze, Elevating the spirit to an ethereal sight. Winds caress the green leaves row, An invisible hand moving with grace, The old school building will corner the flow, School bricks and mortar have no face. Zephyrs seep in the void class nook, By the wood desks in rows so old, Echoes linger from some dusty book, No change made to plastic chair mold. Beyond tired bricks, the mountains span, Uplifted by ancient earth's force, Snow peaks glisten near an old-growth stand, As green turns brown without remorse. A northern spirit resides so still, Waiting its call and breezy chill. It holds a mammoth: tusks and fur, An ecological mistake sometimes occur. (Seasons shift and visions are closed, With empty classrooms and questions posed.)

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22

October 2019

Valley Voice

Oak Creek and Beyond Located at Neste Auto Glass

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From Isolation to Small Town Civilization By Elizabeth Heckmann

Having fled the city and after moving on from a severed seven-year relationship, the isolation nurtured me. Birds called a melody to complement the steady rhythm of the stream flowing near the house. The Milky Way was a constant companion. When the moon shone bright enough to illuminate the forest floors, I left my blinds open so I could bathe in her lunar warmth and enjoy the shadows she cast across my room. Wind blowing through the pines was the only sound that played through the silence of the night. However, living so far away from town became an inconvenience, crushing me under the claustrophobia of isolation, and left me lonely, craving company.

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As the sun set behind Oak Creek, the backdrop of old homes topped with metal roofs was picturesque, but it became too dark to pull weeds, so I sat on the small stone retaining wall, beer in hand, and absorbed the sweet, summer night air. Birds quieted for the evening and bats came to life, zig-zagging through the air. A large Sphinx moth hovered through the array of flowers in the backyard, stopping to sample the nectar of each blossom. The laughter and smoke of a neighbor’s barbeque drifted through the air, reaching my ears and nose with Saturday night jubilation. It was a perfect night in Oak Creek, where sitting in my backyard ignites my senses and adoration for this town with its diverse history and modern-day small-town quirkiness. Incorporated December 26, 1907, Oak Creek, a mining town, was home to a broad range of ethnicities who came from all over the world to work the mines, making it a diverse place. It is still home to a wide collection of people offering a wealthy communal life, from engineers to cowboys giving bareback pony rides through town. I was drawn to Oak Creek after falling in love with Mitchell, an Oak Creek resident whose independence and eccentricity are nurtured by this town. When we started dating, I lived isolated in a Lodgepole pine forest in Bellvue, Colorado on 88 acres of wilderness.

3162 Elk River Road, P.O. Box 772498 Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

As Mitchell’s and my love grew, the appeal of isolation lessened and my desire for Oak Creek and a shared life with Mitchell grew. I was ready for small-town civilization. After dating Mitchell for two years and making the long drive back and forth between our homes, we decided it was time to live together. In June 2018 we packed my belongings in a small U-Haul truck, secured my cats in my car, and I followed Mitchell as he drove the truck to Oak Creek. Owning little made moving into his beautiful 110-year-old house easy. I adore this house’s character and history. When Mitchell and his friend were renovating it, they found bottles of old Tanlac liquor stashed in the walls from the Prohibition era. Mitchell sanded and lacquered the fir floorboards, preserving the history of each foot fall. Our neighbor lives in a lovely, sprawling house that was once the women’s hospital. This history deepens my love of Oak Creek. I found the perfect blend of mountainous isolation and small-town civilization. It’s small enough that Mitchell and I were able to sled home the short, steep distance from our neighbor’s house up the hill behind us this past winter. I can still revel in the untainted night sky with its sea of stars, for Oak Creek casts little light pollution. The sounds of snow blowers and the chopping of wood in the winter, lawn mowers in the summer, the hum of four-wheelers ripping past on the dirt roads, and squealing kids riding their bikes make up a pleasant white noise. The three bars are popular places for locals to gather. On any given night, I see a plethora of people I know. It’s common to crawl with a familiar crew to the Silver Buckle after the Circle R Gastropub closes. Our town mayor gives the best hugs Inside the large wooden doors of the Circle R is a world map, which tourists are welcome to place a pin in their home country. The multitude of pins all over the map shows that Oak Creek attracts visitors from everywhere, filling me with pride for my hometown. I fell deeper in love with this town, and knew I belonged when, on our way home one winter night, a neighbor welcomed Mitchell and me to scale the behemoth 20-foot snowman he was building in his front yard. Climbing the snow packed staircase up the back of the snowman to the top was nerveracking, but standing atop the giant work of art and looking out across my town as the snow fell was exhilarating. Where else can you find such an offer? It’s the history and the people who make this town a splendid home.


Valley Voice

October 2019

The Way I Groove

Recurring Weekly Events:

This Is My Empire By Debora Black

I’m not sure when everyone started hating money, but you can’t turn on most news stations without hearing bizarre stories about how bad money is and how we Americans should surrender our economic freedom to live off of the government. I don’t hate money at all. I love money. I love the way it looks, especially newly minted—coins shining bright, bills stiff and smelling like a mixture of fresh linen and thick ink. I love the way money sounds—each penny, nickel, dime, and quarter containing a particular chime. For as long as I can remember, I have always loved having money. As a kid, I spent hours sorting my coins into like piles and making a mounting tally of my allowance earnings. The more chores I did, the more my empire grew. I also love to spend money. When I was in elementary school, I rode my bike to the dime store and allotted part of my financial holdings to king-sized candy bars and triple-decker ice-cream cones. I always spent big and with no regret. In high school I had baby-sitting jobs, and I served refreshments to the bingo players at the Catholic Church. I spent my wages driving around the suburbs with my best friends—Ramona, Lynn, and Janette. We ate school lunch off campus, attended Friday night football games, went to drive-in movies, and bought makeup at Kmart. Soon I was paying for college and purchased a new Firebird with T-tops. I parked it in front of the sorority and fraternity houses, to show the rich kids that they weren’t all that—no doubt I was more than a little jealous. Proud too, that I had a job and could make my own way without my parents’ money. There was nothing like a full tank of gas and twenty dollars in my pocket. I imagined all of the places I could go—New York City, the Rocky Mountains— and eventually, I did go. Money, I learned, was a powerful thing. It offered me freedom. The more money I had, the freer I was. In these days of debit cards, credit cards, and those politicians who evidently have no respect for the money

23

we all earn, I’ve noticed that it’s not as easy to build one’s empire. Even my coin collection has suffered. Nonetheless, I get return change from places like Mountain Brew and Off The Beaten Path. Plus, my boyfriend’s pockets spill change all over the place—onto the driveway, into the washing machine. Occasionally I find a trail of coins leading from one room of the house to the next. I don’t understand why this good money gets abandoned, but I pick it up and toss those bits into my change bowl, with a satisfying chink.

I no longer idle away Sunday afternoons counting my money—too busy trying to earn it. Instead, I watch the coins accumulate, and when my change bowl is full, I take it to Yampa Valley Bank to cash it in. I never know what I’m going to get when the teller dumps my collection into the coin counter. I become a little breathless, waiting. $38.17! $57.68! Last time, the teller handed me $43.22, a five-pfennig piece, the unbent paperclip I used to reset electronic devices, and a marble. A marble? What a cool surprise! Sometimes there is a little luck in how some of us end up with possessions and skills that others don’t. But I am no longer jealous of these differences; I embrace them. One of the great things about our country is that by using the skills we do have, almost all of us can find a successful path. True, some of us love money so much that we build it into huge, prosperous machines. Others of us merely want to have jobs that we like going to and that afford us a nice home, good food, and summer vacations with our families. Many of us are altogether less motivated by money and stuff and choose stress-free jobs and uncomplicated lives. All of these are virtuous and gratifying ways to live.

SUNDAY

WEDNESDAY

Swinging Sunday 7-10PM/ Latin Night 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE.

Dart League 6:30PM @ The V

Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. West Coast Swing Dance FREE Lessons 7-8PM www.schmiggitys.com Late Night Latin Dance Night 10PM THURSDAY www.schmiggitys.com Steamboat Springs MONDAY Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot.FREE Piano Bar Night www.steamboatwriters. 8:30PM @ Schmiggity’s. com FREE. www.schmiggitys.com Live Band Karaoke/ Schmiggity Jam TUESDAY 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE Pool League www.schmiggitys.com 6:30PM @ The V Two-Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Country Dance Lessons). FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

970-879-7355

Thurs. - Sat.: 10am - 11pm

Unlike people in socialist societies, American citizens get to choose our economic destinies. We choose whether or not to put our money into savings accounts and 401k’s. We decide whether to buy triple-decker ice-cream cones or $8,000 mountain bikes. Whether we have a coal miner’s house in Oak Creek, a working ranch in the Elk River Valley, or a second home near the ski area, we all are a part of the prosperity that is unique to America, and we all own one incredibly valuable possession—the protections outlined in our Constitution. Our Government is not allowed to put limits on our lives.

Sunday - Wed. 10am - 10pm

Cannabis Dispensary

S T E A M B O AT S P R I N G S

Check Out Our Monthly Billo Boxes

Order Online at www.mybillo.com 970.879.4420

Daily Product Specials

Recreational & Medical from 8am-10pm everyday

Se Habla Espanol! 2093 Curve Plaza Unit C Steamboat Springs CO 80487

Beer of the Month:

Ska Brewing

Living in a small town, one of the keys to survival was your imagination.—Nick Nolte


24

October 2019

Valley Voice

Calendar of Free Events To submit your free events or calendar information e-mail to: ericvalleyvoice@gmail.com Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month.

TUESDAY OCTOBER 1

SATURDAY OCTOBER 5

FRIDAY OCTOBER 11

WED. OCTOBER 16

SUNDAY OCTOBER 27

New Plastic Bag Ban & Paper Bag Fee Starts steamboatsprings.net/ spurchange

DJ MVTTV 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

Coffee with Council 7:30AM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net

Budget City Council Meeting 8AM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net

MONDAY OCTOBER 7

Lonesome Days 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com

Wild Films: “Stroop: A Journey into the Rhino Horn War” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

Books and Brews 6PM @ Yampa Valley Brewing Co. 20% off Books, $1 off Brews

THURSDAY OCTOBER 17

Free Film: “The List” Screening and Q&A with author/activist Kirk Wallace Johnson 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

History Happy Hour 5:30PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Company. FREE. treadofpioneers.org Wild Films: “Amazing Pigs” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events WED. OCTOBER 2 Manhattan Short, The World’s First Global Film Fest 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events THURSDAY OCTOBER 3 Author Event: Chris Diamond 6PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library. FREE.

Health Perspectives: The Emotional Brain, with Dr. Jo Anne Grace 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events TUESDAY OCTOBER 8 City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net Free Film: “Mountain” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events WED. OCTOBER 9 Yom Kippur Historic Preservation Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas

SATURDAY OCTOBER 12 Famous Men 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY OCTOBER 13 Books and Brews 6PM @ Yampa Valley Brewing Co. 20% off Books, $1 off Brews MONDAY OCTOBER 14 Columbus Day/ Indigenous Peoples Day Artists On Film: Buster Keaton, “The Great Buster: A Celebration” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events TUESDAY OCTOBER 15

Town Mountain 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com

Parks & Recreation Commission 5:30PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas

FRIDAY OCTOBER 4

THURSDAY OCTOBER 10

First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE.

Planning Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall

Dungeons and Dragons Game Night 6PM @ Off The Beaten Path

Speak Of The Devil 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

steamboatsprings.net/ agendas Stephen King Trivia Night 6PM @ Off The Beaten Path

City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net

Indie Lens Pop-Up: “Decade of Fire” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Dungeons and Dragons Game Night 6PM @ Off The Beaten Path FRIDAY OCTOBER 18 Selasee and the Fafa Family 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY OCTOBER 19 LYFTD and Collidoscope 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

TUESDAY OCTOBER 29

WED. OCTOBER 30

Bud Werner Memorial Library’s Foreign Film Series at the Chief “Rafiki” 7:00PM @ Chief Theater. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events THURS. OCTOBER 31 Halloween Halloween Stroll 5-7PM @ Lincoln Ave. mainstreetsteamboat.com The North 41 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com

National Novel Writing Month, NaNoWriMo, Kickoff 5PM @ Library Conference Room. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

WED. OCTOBER 23 Parks & Recreation Commission 5:30PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas THURSDAY OCTOBER 24 Planning Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ election FRIDAY OCTOBER 25 Tubby Love and Amber Lily 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY OCTOBER 26 Dance Theater Fundraiser 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. www.schmiggitys.com

"Pepper"

photo by Crash Sterne


Schmac and Cheese

Valley Voice

October 2019

25

Local Fun

The Yampuzzler

Answers on page 27

By Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean

821 Lincoln Ave - schmiggitys.com tain wn Moun o T : 3 / 0 1 Thursdayss) 10pm $5 (Bluegra Devil ak of the e e p S : 4 / 0 Friday 1 etal) 10 pm Fre (Heavy M DJ MVTTV : 5 / 0 1 y a Saturd ic) 10pm Free oke/ (Electron and Kara B e iv L : 0 10/1 ree Thursdayity Jam 9:30pm F Schmigg ys esome Da $5 n o L : 1 1 / Friday 10 Bluegrass) 10pm (Colorado l ight Reve n id M : 2 1 10/ Saturday n Rock) 10pm Free r / (Southe d Karaoke n a B e iv L 10/17: ree Thursdayity Jam 9:30pm F ily Schmigg Fafa Fam e h t d n a ee /18: Selas Friday 10 10pm Free (Reggae) llidoscope o C d n a D FT 10/19: LY e Saturdayctronic) 10pm Fre (Live Ele .D. 10/24: T.B y a d s r u h T er Lily and Amb e v o L y b $5 /25: Tub Friday 10 ul/Reggae) 10pm r (Roots/So fundraisem r e t a e h T nce 10p 10/26: Da lectronic) Saturday Party/ Contest; E (Costume 1 e North 4 h T : 1 3 / 0 1 Thursday pm $5 0 1 ) (Funk m/ FREE Goodhart y" 7-10 p t

Sunda h Scot SwingingDance Lessons wit pm " : y a d n u 0 S ncing 1 st Swing West Coaate Night Latin Da e g good tim n lo a 7-8 pm L g in 0 pm -S gs!) r Night 8:3om over 1000 son a B o n ia P r Monday: e Martinez (pick f on ance Less D y with Mik r t n u o FREE C Step 7 pm7 pm o w T : y a Tuesd anda Leftwich with Am ht 9 pm raoke NigFun! a K : y a d s Wedne , Costumes and 0 pm Karaoke ity Jam 9:3 g ig m h c raoke/S e Band Kah a live band! iv L : y a d s it Thur y along w Sing or pla

Oh Schmiggity!

Tickets online at schmiggitys.com or at All That. Schmappy Hour 7-9 Daily

Across

1. Snapshots, briefly 5. Free from, with "of" 8. Food preparer 12. First man's name 13. Fully grown 16. Palindromic girl's name 17. Steamboat Mountain Bike Trail #1 19. Tilt 20. Drop, as pounds 21. Went fast 23. Tavern on 7th and Yampa 26. Portable lights 30. Mature, as a wine 31. Steamboat Mountain Bike Trail #2 34. Birthday-present holder 35. ___ Horse Inn, Flour Mill predecessor 36. Canton restaurant on 10th and Lincoln 37. Result of a leadoff single 40. Balance-sheet entry 45. Most populous continent 47. Lincoln Ave. watering hole for former combatants 50. Steamboat Mountain Bike Trail #3 53. Wide foot letters 54. Keep going 55. Given a PG-13 or R, e.g. 57. Rigidly uptight 58. School orgs. with no students 60. ___ Shop (local tobacco store) 63. Steamboat Mountain Bike Trail #4 68. "Jane ___" (Bronte novel) 69. What to do on 17-, 31-, 50-, and 63-across 70. Letter opener? 71. Scores 100 on a test 72. Three-way intersection 73. Corn units

22. Abbreviated add-ons 23. Uber alternative 24. "A long time ___ in a galaxy far, far away..." 25. ___'s American Grill & Bar Down on Lincoln 1. Golfer's target 26. Genealogy 2. Altar words 27. "Losing My Religion" band 3. Black animal associated with Halloween 28. The other of Col.'s neighbors 4. Tiny to the East 5. Beams of light 29. ___ Town, USA (the *winter* one!) 6. Doing nothing 32. Paid athlete 7. The Dynamic ___ 33. ___ Burgundy, legendary 8. Volcanic formation anchorman 9. Smallest bill 38. Valley Voice cat 10. "Snakes ___ Plane" 39. It's nothing in soccer 11. One of Col.'s neighbors to the East 40. Bronco's gp. 14. "Freaky Friday" actress Lindsay 41. Former N. Routt hunting service 15. Being bad, in a way, on Halloween night 42. "___ Quentin" (Johnny Cash song) 18. Martini & ___ vermouth

2019 Rates

Monday-Thursday 9-Holes: $30 Additional 9-Holes: $16 Friday-Sunday 9-Holes: $35 Additional 9-Holes: $18 Junior Golfers (17 & Under) Monday - Thursday 9 Holes: $15 Additional 9-Holes: $5 Friday - Sunday 9-Holes $18 Additional 9-Holes: $5 Individual/ Family Punch-cards Available

43. Luxurious homes on many acres 44. Skinny 46. "Let's call it ___" ("We're even") 47. Doc for 38-down 48. Agent's take 49. Day after Tue. 51. Where to find Grey's Anatomy 52. Completely 56. Actor's remark to the audience 58. Carpet feature 59. Aspen, Cottonwood, or Spruce 60. Affirmative vote 61. Big Apple, for short 62. ___ House (steak restaurant at the Pine Grove) 64. Nightclub performance 65. British afternoon brew 66. Family vehicle 67. 60-min. periods

Club House

26815 West US 40 Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

Season Hours: 9:00 am – 6:00 pm Daily: Course may be closed due to weather at anytime during the season.

The 9 - hole course borders the Yampa River featuring beautiful views of the valley and Steamboat ski mountain. Free warm-up cages/ chipping 5 miles west of & putting green are available Steamboat Springs. on site. Make time to enjoy 970-879-4295 a cold beverage on our 866-479-4295 scenic creekside deck.

Family and Individual Memberships Available. Prices Subject to Change.

You have power over your mind-not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.—Marcus Aurelius


26

October 2019

Valley Voice

Yepelloscopes

Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries

March 21 - April 19

You find yourself hiding under your umbrella as the clouds part. The rain stopped but now the umbrella is blocking you from the sun instead of shielding you from the rain.

Taurus

April 20 - May 20

Gemini

May 20 - June 20

Cancer

June 21 - July 22

It’s like being a member of a firing squad, hoping that somehow you have been blessed with a blank round, saving yourself from the guilt.

GOLDEN LEAF WILL

MATCH

ANY PRICE

IN STEAMBOAT * * Excludes flower. Not to be combined with any other discounts.

If everyone started acting like their shoe size, boys would think girls are icky and girls would think boys smell weird. Now THAT’S population control! You are frustrated that you can’t make everything happen the way you planned it. One thing that needs to be considered is the difference between being in control of the situation and controlling the situation.

Leo

July 23 - August 23

You’re not as fu*&ed up as you think you are… but would you mind putting down the pitchfork?

Virgo

August 23 - September 22

Commonly known as the chicken; this flightless bird is actually much less timid than they are thought to be... Unlike some people...

Libra

September 23 - October 23

Unfortunately, no matter what angle you try to play it, a smoke signal is not the proper way to inform your boss that you are not coming to

ROAD DAWG

CAKE DANCE

OPEN DAILY Recreational & Medical

1755 Lincoln Avenue Steamboat Springs, CO On the Free Bus Route

970-870-2941

www.GoldenLeaf.co For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

work today, no matter what kind of reception you get on the top of the mountain.

Scorpio

October 24 - November 21

Whoever decided that a hop, skip, and a jump was a short and easy distance to go apparently never really considered how much coordination and balance you need to hop, skip, and jump in one fluid movement.

Sagittarius

November 22 - December 21

You need to be patient. You have to have faith that this is just temporary and it will all fall back into its comfortable place. You have to be patient, stop holding your breath, pulling on your ears and jumping up and down until you get your way.

Capricorn

December 22 - January 19

Sometimes you find “five-minute friends” that seem to genuinely care about who you are and what you are. You can find them on the bus, at the bar or riding up the gondola. They breathe a breath of fresh air into that moment of your life. Big thanks to those people. It’s nice to have someone to chat with.

Aquarius

January 20 - February 18

Life has been pretty crazy for you lately, but maybe you need to kick it up a notch and add a make-out scene and a car chase to make it interesting.

Pisces

February 19 - March 20

Has the flame been extinguished naturally, or are you watching it so closely that your breath is putting it out?


Valley Voice

October 2019

By Matt Scharf

Faux Finish

27


28

October 2019

Valley Voice

Saturday

october 12

THREE WIRE WINTER

1-3 PM

YER STATE BIRDS BUFFALO COMMONS

4-6 PM 7-9 PM

FREE all day outdoor music event

OPENS 11AM mountain BBQ

2090 SNOW BOWL PLAZA • STEAMBOAT SPRINGS, CO SNOWBOWLSTEAMBOAT.COM For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Profile for Valley Voice Steamboat

Valley Voice October 2019  

Steamboat Springs, Colorado

Valley Voice October 2019  

Steamboat Springs, Colorado

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