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November 2019 . Issue 8.11

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Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa

Aster in First Snow Photo by Karen Vail


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November 2019

Valley Voice

924 Lincoln Ave Tuesday - Saturday 4pm - 2am

Tuesday Night: Pool League / 6:30 pm Wednesday Night : Dart League / 6:30 pm Thursday Night : Ladies Night / 1/2 Price Drinks

Weekly Shot Specials! Happy Hour: 4 - 6 & 10 -12

Don’t miss the last show! “How Will it End?”

Saturday, November 9, 2019 Season 5 Finale!

Bar / Doors 7 pm, Show 8 pm

Optional Donations to Routt County United Way Thanksgiving Meal

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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

LAST SHOW OF THE YEAR!


Valley Voice

November 2019

Rants...

Contents 2019 Leckenby/ Larson Awards

Page 4

Council Bits and Pieces

Page 5

The Future Ain't What It Used to Be

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The (Little) Theatre at St. Paul's

Page 7

By Matt Scharf

By Kathi Meyer By Bill Martin

By Stuart Handloff

Giving Thanks Page 8 By Karen Vail

A Needed Niche By Matt Scharf

Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf mattscharf1@gmail.com Accounts Manager:

Scott Ford

Sales:

valleyvoicesales@gmail.com

Event Calendar:

Eric Kemper ericvalleyvoice@gmail.com

Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website www.valleyvoicecolorado.com. Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2019 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voice.

Official Fine Print Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements. The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat Springs’s Valley Voice. Direct all correspondence, articles, editorials or advertisements to the address below. The author’s signature and phone number must accompany letters to the editor. Names will be withheld upon request (at the discretion of the publisher). Submission is no guarantee of publication. Subscription rate is a donation of 40 measly dollars per year. However, if you wish to send more because you know we desperately need your money, don’t be shy, send us all you can! Advertisers rates vary by size, call 970-846-3801 and we’ll come visit you. Please make checks payable to: Valley Voice, LLC P.O. Box 770743 • Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 Thank you for your support!

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Colorado's Great Turmoil Years

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A Few Minutes Before Mid-Night

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By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield By Scott L. Ford

Wrestling the 900-lb. Gorilla in the Room Page 12 By Brodie Farquhar

The Right Drink for the Right Occasion By Eric Kemper

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Street Busker Page 18 By Fran Conlon

Interbeing Page 18 By Wolf Bennett

The Bear Page 19 By Aimee Kimmey

That Denver pro football team… When global tariffs affect us here at home… The morning rush hour on Lincoln Avenue… When people reply to your email on a completly different topic... Living in Steamboat Springs and not being able to afford a ski pass… When every weather report is not the same… Unfettered growth... Random public farts…

Raves... The Leckenby and Larson Award winners... Getting the plow on the truck with no problem, seconds before the storm… The thought of another big year of snow totals… Picking the right ski wax… When you recieve a rare "act of kindness"… Small Engine Repair Service getting it done… The Steamboat Springs Sailors football team… America's favorite pastime...

It's All Good Page 19

Say What?...

Salt with Your Meal?

"Adding another pumpkin to our patch."

By Joan Remy

By Sean Derning

Page 20

Fall Page 21 By Sandy Conlon

Talk Too Much? Page 22 By Mr. Helpful, M.D.

Improve Your Digestion

Page 23

Calendar of FREE Events

Page 24

By Kari Pollert.

By Eric Kemper

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Yampuzzler Page 25 By Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean

Yepelloscopes Page 26 By Chelsea Yepello

Comics Page 27

“Don't believe anything you hear, except for the birds”

“I totally support Proposition DD, the one that uses sports betting taxes to support state water conservation projects. It’s a symbiotic relationship because the water is used to make the Gatorade the athletes drink to cover the point spread. And the water grows the trees to make the baseball bat that breaks the kneecaps of the chump that didn’t cover the spread.” "I saw a bah humbug"

We go to press November 25th for the December 2019 issue! Send in your submissions by November 15th!

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You are ice and fire, the touch of you burns my hands like snow—Amy Lowell


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November 2019

Valley Voice

November Valley Voice

2019 Leckenby/ Larson Awards By Matt Scharf

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At this year’s Leckenby/ Larson Award Banquet presented by the Tread of Pioneers last month, I witnessed some of the finest people receiving these prestigious awards. It was humbling to hear about the efforts they have given to Routt County and beyond over the decades.

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The End of an Era Party! Come by, say hello and thank Scott Ford for his many years of public service! When: Where: Monday, November 11 Carl's Tavern, 5 pm to 7 pm 700 Yampa Street

Paul and Ellen Bonnifield received the Leckenby Pioneer Award “For enriching the quality of life in Routt County by significantly contributing to the county’s cultural heritage." Let me tell you, they deserve it. There is proof in the pages of the Valley Voice – The Bonnifield Files! Paul and Ellen have been sharing their historic stories in the Valley Voice since our first issue. The VV is forever grateful for their contributions. People often tell me that the Bonnifields' articles are one of the main reasons they read the Valley Voice. You can find all the past issues of the Valley Voice in the Reference Library in the Bud Werner Memorial Library. The library has leather bound our issues each year, ever since we’ve been around, and we thank you. Lucy Bogue was awarded the Larson Award posthumously for making significant contributions during her life in Routt County. As a lifelong educator, she was also the founding president of Yampa Valley College in 1962.

Juanita Bonnifield

Paul Bonnifield

Heather Westfahl Ellen Bonnifield

Her daughters, Bonnie Bogue and Sharon Young, accepted the award. To hear Bonnie’s stories about that time was fascinating. I would love to have lived here during those c days. p w The Greats were there toasting to this year's recipients. E Jim Stanko talked about what it was like in the 60s here. I It was rural and tough. And when the college started, all 2 the “hippies” came to town to find out it was more than just a ski area. There were clashes, but for the most part everybody got along. Some folks thought that Steamboat Springs started in 1962 when the new skiable mountain opened. Lesson number one: Nope.

They served a tasty stew with salad and plenty of iced tea. It was the stew that had me thinking of an analogy for this occasion. Each ingredient that goes into a stew is wonderful on its own, but when you put it all together, it becomes a good, hearty, healthy delight just like Routt County and these deserved award winners. Thank you for the invite!

One of many ponds up north near Clark. Photo by Gwen Skinner

H a p s H t t i S i

Scott L. Ford

We will be serving • Soft Drinks • Chips/ Salsa • Laughter See you there!

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

B h n m a d t


Valley Voice

November 2019

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City Council Voices

Council Bits and Pieces By Kathi Meyer With the snow falling recently, the shift of seasons has me looking to share news on a few key seasonal topics as winter creeps closer and closer. Plastic Bags: The new ordinance went into effect October 1st and is running relatively smoothly. I hope you are not like me and keep running to the car to get your reusable bag. You should have received a postcard from the city good for one free bag per household which can be picked up at City Hall or the Combined Law Enforcement Facility. On top of the plastic bag initiative, I’m looking forward to new climate action initiatives in 2020.

Housing Update: The Yampa Valley Housing Authority’s latest project next to Walgreens is coming along nicely with the roofs on and the building enclosure expected shortly. This 72-unit income restricted rental complex is expected to begin welcoming tenants late spring and early summer of 2020. In addition, City Council finalized its own Housing Index, which will act as a leading indicator in implementing housing initiatives over the coming years. Special thanks to Scott Ford for his efforts on a complex issue. Elections: By the time you read this, the November 5 election will be upon us. There are several local issues on the ballot this year, but the most important item of all, is that you fill out your ballot and VOTE!

Happy Holidays!

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Howelsen Hill Season Passes: The snow guns are roaring, and Mother Nature is helping early this season. Season passes are currently available at the lowest price of the season online at steamboatsprings.net/ski. Shortly, Howelsen Lodge concession stand will be open and able to sell season passes starting on November 5. Don’t wait to buy the best value in Alpine, Nordic and Snowboarding in Colorado. I’m especially looking forward to Ski Free Sundays again this year with special surprises sprinkled in through the year. Bears: With winter almost upon us and the bears ready to hibernate, council will discuss what’s working and what’s not as it applies to bears in our community during a meeting on Tuesday, November 12. This past summer saw a record number of bear encounters. There will be lots of data and opinions on this item. I expect that this will be the first of many meetings on this important subject.

“Golden” by Maggie Smith The parking lot two-step. Your life will be a blessed and balanced experience if you first honor your identity and priority—Russell M. Nelson


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November 2019

Acupuncture and Arthritis Awareness Month

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The Pet Kare Clinic offers Integrative Physical Medicine to help make your pet HAPPY!

Valley Voice

Community Vision and Planning

The Future Ain't What It Used to Be By Bill Martin

Today US Highway 40 is choked with traffic. Vehicles traveling from Salt Lake to Denver or from the mountain to town all travel this artery narrowed by the cleft in Copper Ridge at 13th Street. Morning and evening traffic traveling to and from Craig are continuous lines. Highway 131 is similar and it will only get worse.

If your pet suffers from pain or arthritis we can help with Acupuncture and Cold Laser Therapy. There are also supplements available that can help reduce inflammation and provide joint support.

Light rail is the answer for the future. Light rail could inter-connect the Yampa River Valley from Yampa to Craig with cheap, fast, clean transportation. The existing railroad won’t work for light rail but what is most important is the railroad right-of-way.

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David Moffat’s Denver Northwestern and Pacific Railway was built in the early 1900s to access Northwest Colorado’s bonanza of livestock and coal. Today, livestock is shipped by truck and coal use is in a spiraling decline as cheaper, cleaner natural gas replaces it. In the foreseeable future, Northwest Colorado rail shipping will diminish to economically unsustainable levels. Adversity creates opportunity. The demise of the railroad will create an opening for light rail discussions using that right-of -way.

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Steamboat Springs has changed quite a bit since I descended Rabbit Ears pass in December 1969. I was a transient kid escaping a large metropolitan area searching for identity, community and purpose. The beauty, tranquility and welcoming people of the Yampa Valley spoke to me. In 1969 Steamboat Springs was a small, isolated, community with mostly hard-working, multi-generational pioneer families, a few early hippies and a fledgling ski area. In those way-back years, a traffic jam may have been caused by a horse drawn hay-wagon on the highway. Rush hour was when The Cave Inn, Dos Amigos, Bully Three and the Tugboat all emptied out at 2:00 am. Patrons cautiously navigated River Road back to town so they could avoid US Highway 40 and the State Patrol. Fast forward: our town has grown and has the warts, wrinkles and scars of aging combined with the charm, grace and character of maturity. My observation is that most people still visit and relocate to Steamboat Springs and Routt County for that quaint community ambience. So, the question is, how do we preserve and protect those qualities we love and plan and administer for the inevitable growth. One planning concept would be to encourage the incorporated communities of northwest Colorado to resist annexations and suburban sprawl, maintain hardline city boundaries and therefore preserve their small town charm and the pastoral open landscape surrounding them. The more we look like west Colfax and the Denver suburbs, the more we diminish our quality of life and are less attractive as a destination resort. Conceptually we could consider northwest Colorado as one community with “neighborhoods,” i.e. Yampa, Oak Creek, Steamboat Springs, Hayden and Craig. We should focus on moving people more effectively and efficiently between those neighborhoods. The goal being all northwest Colorado residents could have the advantages of an urban area while enjoying rural ambiance. Education, jobs, shopping, recreation, housing options and healthcare choices would be easily accessible to all.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Designing, planning, coordinating, and funding light rail will be a huge task. This will demand visionary, tenacious leadership and take years to accomplish. Light rail will require partnerships and grants from multiple communities and governmental agencies such as our city, Routt County, Craig, Moffat County, the State of Colorado and the Federal Government.

The benefits of light rail are obvious. Reducing the reliance on personal vehicles is a benefit to individuals and community in time, operational costs, less congested roads and parking, less pollution and increased safety. Light rail is the future, but a long way down the road. An achievable transportation model in the interim is the State of Colorado’s Bustang system (www.ridebustang.com). The Bustang network is expanding on arterial routes throughout the state. Bustang buses are high tech comfortable, clean and attractive. Buses are furnished with lounge seats, Wi-Fi, personal music choices and bathrooms, providing a comfortable work and or leisure environment for the rider. The cost to the rider is roughly $0.21per mile, a significantly cheaper option than the price and operational cost of a personal vehicle. Yampa Valley regional busing was tried before. The south valley route failed to gain the necessary ridership in its short trial period and was discontinued. The Craig to Steamboat Springs bus has had limited success. I envision a regional public private/partnership. The hardware, buses and infrastructure would be paid for by grants acquired by participating governments with operations managed by a private contractor. We’ve learned much from our first trials. We should examine successful models like Bustang and RFTA (Roaring Fork Transportation Authority, www.rfta.com), improve scheduling, convenience and comfort and be patient as riders discover the advantages of regional public transportation.


Valley Voice

November 2019

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Community Theatre

The (Little) Theatre at St. Paul's: Tiny Performing Arts By Stuart Handloff

From my experience in the performing arts of Steamboat Springs, other than the high school or ice show events, a theatre production will attract a total of between 5001000 over the course of the performance season. Our recent Piknik Theatre production of Hamlet had a total audience of about 450; our free outdoor summer season attracted 1000, and those productions are as much about picnicking outdoors as performance. No local theatre company wants to do one performance for the 500 or so total people likely to attend. Yes, our community would love to see a touring production every few months (witness the successes of the Bravo Series from the Steamboat Arts Council many years ago, but even 6 visiting productions a year don’t justify multi-million dollar expenditures. “If you build it, they will come” is a risky proposition at best; and why not spend this kind of money on an amenity that would get more use by the local arts groups that are already here?

St. Paul's Episcopal Church

Much has been discussed on two fronts recently: tiny ehomes and a new performing arts center for Steamboat Springs. Promotion for a performing arts center has been going on since at least 1990 when the City of Steamboat Springs hired a consulting firm to determine the feasibility and programming potential for a 750-seat, multi-million dollar performing arts facility. This same report included an opinion on the feasibility of a smaller theatre seating 300-400 people and costing a few million dollars less. Obviously, neither option inspired a great deal of enthusiasm from either the majority of the community or City Council. Flash forward 30 years and the discussion has come full circle. Steamboat Creates is hoping to get a proposal for the same scope of performance space, with estimates now in the tens of millions of dollars, while the Chief Theatre has reopened its capital campaign for expansion to 300-400 seats and costing a few million dollars less. The impact on local arts for either of these two options would be enormous. With no real serious dedicated performance space for theatre anywhere in the community - no offense intended to the current Chief Theatre facility; it’s a wonderful venue for music and comedy shows but is inadequate for theatre work due to backstage and wing space limitations - local groups would be overjoyed if someone gave us unlimited, free access to this kind of performance space. Plus, who knows what sorts of traveling performing arts groups would take advantage of a facility dedicated exclusively to performing arts? But what about the Strings Music Festival Pavilion? This wonderful venue wasn’t even a twinkle in anyone’s eye in 1990 and it’s become a real attraction for music events of all stripes. The Steamboat Symphony Orchestra

calls Strings home; the annual Music Festival attracts thousands of audience members; and visiting nationally recognized artists love both the venue and the community. A perfect spot, for the performing arts, right?? Well, not exactly. Stage and backstage space are limiting factors even for existing users. The pavilion isn’t really suitable for theatre or dance either. As the 1990 study noted, essentially, music is music and theatre/dance are a different kind of animal altogether. The more “multi-use” a facility wants to be, the more its cost goes up exponentially. Although Steamboat Springs has actively marketed itself as Ski Town, Dog Town, and Bike Town (and even “greatplace-to-raise-the-family-if-you-like-these-three-options town”), no one will confuse us with Ashland, Oregon, a small city slightly larger than Steamboat, and home to the world-renowned Oregon Shakespeare Festival. We don’t have the film festival traditions of Telluride; nor the music festival history of Aspen; nor the dance background of Vail. We’re not Theatre Town, and won’t likely become that in my lifetime. The Lake Dillon Theatre Company has a nearly 30 year tradition presenting performing arts and a population base of over 30,000 in Summit County alone, not to mention the short one hour drive on an interstate highway for Front Range audience members. However, the capacity of the newly completed Lake Dillon Playhouse (another multi-million dollar facility) is only 140 people. My point being that Northwestern Colorado has a population base of under 40,000 so why are we considering spending tens of millions of dollars for a 300-400-750 seat performance space?

And that gets to the connection with tiny homes. The small stone church located on 9th and Oak Streets, next to the main St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, was built in 1913. It’s on the Routt County Registry of Historic Places. The exterior remodel planned for 2020 will do much to restore the splendor and longevity of the structure. But the interior of this historic space is ripe for conversion into something really unique. Preliminary investigations suggest a 50-100 seat mini-performing arts center could be designed and built for under $500,000 inside the church. It would be ideal for small local performing arts groups ranging from theatre to choral/acoustic music to workshop and lecture space. As a local theatre professional, I would rather perform 6-8 times in a small venue than once in a large one (assuming the scale of the production fit this size of facility). The church is a block away from the heart of downtown Steamboat, and the newly formed Creative District, and walking distance from restaurants, parking, and public transportation. There’s even a burger place across the street, and what theatre company isn’t in love with burgers and beer? We already have venues like the high school, the Chief Theatre, and the Episcopal Church/Methodist Church/ Christian Heritage Church for the occasional mid-size productions. These are good locations for one-off or short seasons of performances. But development of a tiny theatre is an opportunity to create the kind of year round new and experimental work typically found in an Off Off Broadway theatre (maximum capacity of 100). It will give our community the air and space to develop the audience for a large performing arts complex. Those who remember the early days of the Strings Music Festival know that its early performance seasons attracted audiences in a space of comparable seating capacity. We can create a reputation for artistic work that builds into the same success Strings has found over time. Best of all, it won’t take 30 years to build consensus but could be a facility ready for use as early as 2021. So if there’s a philanthropist out there who wants to take the lead on this vision, the [Little] Theatre at St. Paul’s could just as easily have your name on it. CU Medical Theatre at St. Paul’s? Steamboat Ski Corp Theatre at St. Paul’s? Jim Cook Theatre at St. Paul’s? Please fill in the blank for all of us local performing artists.

There is nothing permanent except change—Heraclitus


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November 2019

Valley Voice

'Boat Almanac

Giving Thanks By Karen Vail

All Photos by Karen Vail

“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.” - Margaret Fuller

s i c p b b t w g

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O n y t s i n g s t a t g "Can you see me?" u p e Becky Edmiston E Professor of Biology at CMC and a f Colorado Master Gardener s Y To spend time in Nature enlivens me; The power of the t summer thunderstorm, the quiet of a winter snow, the pocket of cool air settled in a drainage that fills my lungs g on an early morning ride. My heart races as I climb peaks, r then settles as I glory in the vistas. I am awestruck by the grandeur and ponder my insignificance. I am grateful and humbled to be part of something so powerful.

Sunrise from Windy Ridge We all have knowledge, we all have passions and experiences and wisdom. To share that with others is one of the richest things we humans can do. In the age of “fast news,” “fake news” and all manner of information sharing, I find my best “aha" moments are when I am reading a really good book, deep in discussion on a nerdy topic, or researching for my beloved Valley Voice articles. But sometimes we need to put the science hat aside, take a deep breath and consider the joy our world gives us. November is a time to look inward as we enter the quieter time of the natural world, and to reflect on the riches of an abundant and beautiful summer and to give thanks for the incredible blue ball that gives us life. So it is with true pleasure that I offer you four wonderful essays on giving thanks in our valley. My many thanks to Becky Edmiston from CMC, Megan Walker from Yampatika, Allison Mecklenburg who has put up working with me all summer, and the 7th and 8th grade North Routt Charter school CREW students. Read deeply, ponder their words and write your own words of thanks.

Sego Lily on Windy Ridge

Sego Lily with morning rain

In the garden, these experiences are perhaps even more profound. I have the opportunity to dig my hands into the deep mystery of soil and become a participant in the Creation. To plant a seed and behold the miracle of germination. To witness the concurrent fragility and tenacity of life. Mankind has long sought to separate ourselves from nature, to exert mastery over the natural world. But in the garden, I understand that we are not separate, that instead we are offered a profound chance to connect with the divine, to feel small, but to feel alive. Megan Walker, Youth Program Coordinator, Yampatika The natural world holds the key to keeping our species’ sense of wonder alive and well. It offers us a sense of time and purpose far beyond ourselves. I am thankful for a quiet spot to sit and listen, for the natural world which hosts all of us and all we bring. I am thankful to the fresh air, blue skies, dark skies, the sun & rain, celestial bodies, soft grass, crinkly leaves, blanket of snow, rumble of thunder, pokey needles, furry animals, feathered friends,

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.


Valley Voice

scaly creatures, winged and crawly things, the patterns in the rock, the running river, the still lake, fluttery leaves, craggy trees, the smell of the sagebrush and my horse, the path through the forest, mysterious seed pods & incredible flowers – thanks for providing a surprise around every bend and healing for my soul. Most of all, I am thankful to the natural world for inspiring delight and a sense of wonder for the very youngest to the young at heart. I am grateful for this love without words.

7th and 8th Grade CREW North Routt Community Charter School Our experiences have helped us see the real beauty of our natural spaces. We are grateful for the diversity of things you can do that suit our love for the outdoors. Being able to play, read, learn, and write outside is a privilege and we should be thankful for it and use it wisely. Being outdoors is a great way to get away from society. Whenever we need a break from the hustle of life we know we can just go outside and be able to relax. We love all of our natural spaces and the privileges we get with these spaces. We are thankful for Colorado's great treasure, the great outdoors, and the mountains that go on forever. We are so blessed that our community takes care of the outdoors so we can go hiking, skiing, and biking. We have trails that lead to unknown lakes, unknown forests, and most of all unknown places. People preserved these places so we could go and explore them and make them sacred instead of unknown. Every part of nature is something we should never take for granted. We want future generations to experience the stunning views of the Zirkel Wilderness and the pristine Yampa River Valley. Where we live is beautiful and we are thankful. We think that anybody that lives here should be grateful for the beauty that Steamboat Springs, Colorado really has.

Allison Mecklenburg

Why I am thankful for nature –

For me, nature is a respite. Nature is a place to take time to reflect on what it means to be human, what it means to take time to connect to other humans, and what it means to find your place in the web of life on Earth, and beyond. Nature is a place to pause from the busyness, pause, but not escape. For nature, too, knows busyness. That world of trees growing, under which birds fly, spiders weave webs, praying mantes pray, snakes slither, soil is created, microbes support and connect it all, and a whole world of miracles happen that we have no idea about – oh, it is busyness beyond what a human brain can comprehend! But the beauty of nature is that there is a peacefulness that it creates for us Homo sapiens. The change in pace from our concrete lives is certainly something to give thanks for. Watching connections being created reflects the concept that in nature as in life, what is good for me is also good for you. We are all living on this fragile “mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam”, and nature gives us a space and time to absorb this sacred reality (Sagan).

November 2019

Are You Ever Ready?

A Needed Niche By Matt Scharf

It's a bummer when you find out your snow blower won't start and Old Man Winter is standing in in your driveway. This is not smart on my part, because I know you have to be more than ready before he shows his ugly mug. On the other hand, my plow is always ready. It's greased, mounted and ready to go every winter. It has less moving parts than a snow blower, so why worry about that one? My sturdy seed shovel of 26 years needs nothing but elbow grease! At least the shovel works. Now, it’s the middle of October and I am feeling ready for this year's deluge of white. The leaves are changing and the temps are cooling quickly. So I give my Ariens another look and... Ohhhh crap... I'm not ready! One pull, two pulls, and then ten. I turned as pale as the snow around me. I'm not ready! The snow blower is not starting under my own power. The electric start won't get it to breathe fire either. Now my truck is in the shop over at Downtown Conoco and the snow blower won't fit in the Subaru. Hmmmm... what now? So I start to research around town, talk to a few friends, and I come to find out my problem is solved. Steamboat Small Engine Repair to the rescue! I gave Jurdin White a call and he shows up the next day to my house in Upper Cow Creek. He assesses the problem and determines my problem is a gummed up carburetor. He fixes it fast. If it were me, it would have taken twice as long. We talked for 45 minutes after he got the beast running. Not surprised since we find a shared religion in dirt bikes. Not only do I have my small engine repair guy now, but I also sense the feeling of meeting another good friend! Thank you Jurdin for your service, and I'm thankful you are a part of this community. Now, let's ride!

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The sun will not rise or set without my notice, and thanks—Winslow Homer


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November 2019

Valley Voice

Bonnifield Files

Colorado's Great Turmoil Years: 1800 - 1940 Part I By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield

Moffat, Chaffee, and Tabor wanted to unload their stocks while the market remained high and stockholders were unaware of the true nature of the mine. Since financial reports were not required during labor strikes, the "Silver Kings" decided to cause a strike. The Chrysolite management instituted new labor rules that assured unrest among the miners. In protest, the miners organized the Cooperative Miners's Union. Management hired Pinkerton agents to infiltrate the union and cause a strike. Under the influence of Pinkerton agents, the strike quickly spread to other mines. Lt. Governor Tabor provided 600 rifles and organized a private army of businessmen who were losing money. The Citizens Committee demanded that the miners go back to work. The infiltrated Pinkerton agents became "firebrands of resistance." Tabor's Light Cavalry, during a period of high tension, chose to march up and down the streets. Spectators crowded the street. Then someone fired a shot in the air - hitting no one. On cue, the Cavalry charged the strikers and fighting ensued. The Citizens' Committee labeled it a riot and asked Govern Pitkin to send the National Guard.

The ceremony for the driving of the "Last Spike" at Promontory Summit, Utah, May 10, 1869 From the Pikes Peak gold rush in 1859 until World War II, Colorado workers struggled, suffered, and died in a multi-sided, complex struggle to achieve dignity, respect, justice, safety, and economic democracy. The slogan of the Workingman's Party of the United States was "A Political liberty without economic freedom is but an empty phrase." The struggle for political and economic freedom caused a great convulsion of corruption, open warfare, and human suffering. Real heroes and real villains came and went. The story has many starting points and follows countless paths. Let's begin by tracing one of the most unlikely but important trails. President Andrew Jackson's "War on the Bank" (the national banking system) resulted in the Panic of 1837- 1840. Although financial conditions improved, working conditions in the nation’s factories remained grinding with high unemployment. Slum life was harsh. Two labor leaders and intellectuals in New York City, George Henry Evans and John Cummerford developed and led the Land Reform movement under the banner "Free Soil and Free Land." Free Soil promoted abolition of slavery. Free Land championed freedom for industrial workers. Theoretically, an angry or unemployed worker would use the safety valve, move west, and take up a homestead. Surprisingly, conservative Americans opposed the movement. New York's Courier and Express labeled free land "Fourierist, Agrarian, and Infidel." The Fourier movement

believed in communal living. Early Colorado had three important communal settlements - Greeley, Brighton, and in the Wet Mountains. Fort Collins was a rebellious offshoot of Greeley. The Agrarian movement, which never had a large following, called for total redistribution of land on a regular basis. While debating one of the earlier homestead bills in 1852, Congressman Sutherland of New York labeled it the "offspring of the German school of socialism and high transcendentalism." In his eyes, homesteading was communism. Fearing the destruction of slavery, southern states opposed any homestead act. The election of Lincoln and the southern succession opened the way for passage of the Homestead Act of 1862. The New York Tribune called the Act "a reform calculated to diminish sensibly of the number of paupers and idlers and increase the proportion of working, independent, self-subsisting farmers..." Although the Homestead Act and variations failed to live up to its high goal, it soon became the frontier icon of the westward movement. Colorado gold, silver, and coal miners traveled a harsh and treacherous route. In the late 1870s, Leadville boomed with its magnificent silver mines producing fabulous wealth. The Little Pittsburgh Mine in 1880 paid a monthly dividend of $850,000; the seven previous months it paid $100,000 per month. The Chrysolite Mine exceeded $200,000 per month. Governor John Routt's Morning Star proved even more profitable. David Moffat, Jerome Chaffee, and H.A.W. Tabor sold excessive quantities of watered stocks on the New York market. Then, ore bodies pinched out, stocks became worthless, and New York and English stock holders became restless.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Ingenious mine owners had found another way to turn a dime. By calling in the National Guard, the cost for breaking the strike shifted to the state government. The state's coffers were empty, forcing it to borrow money from Denver banks controlled by Leadville mine owners. The Guard arrived and battles were fought, lives lost, and property destroyed. Meanwhile, Moffat, Chaffee, and Tabor dumped their worthless stocks.

Construction and operation of Colorado railroads were always a shady deal. The Denver Pacific that ran from Denver to Cheyenne cost about two million dollars to construct. Evans, Moffat, and friends received more than six million dollars plus nearly a million acres of land and free access to all timber and stone necessary for construction. Actual funds for building came from Jefferson County. The county, controlled by the owners of the Denver Pacific, borrowed heavily in order to fund construction. After completion, the railroad was deliberately operated to lose money and go into receivership. The bond holders, Moffat, Chaffee, John Evans, and friends, got a railroad for pennies on the dollar with little personal risk. Commonly, railroad builders made large profits on construction and not on operation. Lines constantly faced deep financial trouble. To operate, owners exploited workingmen. The Denver & Rio Grande was always in and out of receivership. The company did not have regular paydays and employees never received full paychecks. Hours were long and harsh; operations were dangerous with employees often killed or hurt. In 1884, the Union Pacific cut wages for shop workers by 20 percent. The men joined the Knights of Labor and struck. Within three days, wages were restored and shop workers returned to work. Encouraged by the successful strike, men at the D & R G's Burnham Shops in Denver joined the Knights of Labor. In 1885, men at the Burnham Shops walked out. They were followed by men at Salida and Gunnison. The Denver Crowd (leading businessmen) called the city police force


Valley Voice

November 2019

11

Man's Best Friend

A Few Minutes Before Mid-Night By Scott L. Ford

the uneven ground. I lifted you up and we moved on. When you fell the second time it embarrassed you and broke my heart. We struggled to get back to the house. Once in the house you flopped down on your pad next to the front door with a huge sigh. I sat down next to you and fought back the tears. I was hoping you would once again rally as you have done before, but I think we both knew this time was different.

Homesteaders in North Dakota - 1862 to break the strike. Skid row toughs were deputized and violence followed. Union leaders were arrested and brought before Judge Moses Hallett - a railroad investor. The Union leaders were sent to jail for contempt. Without leaders, the strike turned violent and a train dynamited. To this point, the public supported the strikers, but following the act of terrorism they turned against the strikers. Once again labor came out a loser. –

Working conditions were bad for the men, but a couple of ads in Denver newspapers tell us about the plight of young women. "Millinery Apprentice" read the ad. "Apprentice wanted with talent and one who sews well. Must serve six months time and then, if talented, will receive three dollars per week." Another ad: "WANTED A Smart Girl About Fourteen Years Old . . . Must be strong and active! Hours from seven oclock in the morning until past six at night, and until eight o-clock on Saturday. Must bring luncheon as she is not alowed to leave the store during the day. Will be kept busy no time to be idle. Her work must sweep the store every morning; everything must be moved and dusted; clean the windows and in order to do so, must climb stepladder outside on the pavement. Store to be scrubbed two or three times a week as floor gets very dirty, and must scrub on her knees with a brush. Must wash, iron, and brush, clean and press all articles of clothing coming in, etc. Wages two dollars fifty cents per week." The two ads reflect overall working conditions. For many young girls prostitution was the only means of employment. Boys, especially children of immigrants, were exploited. In 1913, the executive of Colorado Fuel & Iron, LaMont Montgomery Bowers, investigated child labor at the Minnequa Mill in Pueblo. He was well pleased to learn the steel mill's labor force included 114 boys working at one-half the adult wage. The Homestead Act of 1862 attracted settlers from around the world and was copied in Canada; millions of acres of virgin land were put into production and food production soared, greatly reducing starvation and malnutrition. Yet, homesteading failed to live up to the vision of its promoters. The vast majority of the homesteads failed and homesteaders abandoned their claim. Instead of dissatisfied workers leaving the factories and foul cities to take up land, disgruntled homesteaders moved to the city looking for work in mines or mills.

Next month, The Bonnifield Files will explore the corrupt and violent world of free- wheeling democracy, deep economic depression, reform movements, and all-out labor wars. It's a wild trip through the little-known caverns of our past.

Scott Ford and Tobias - best of friends Dear Tobias The sun is just about set for yet another day. It is hard to believe that you were alive and nestled deep into your pillow just the previous day when the sun went down. I have described owning a dog as the likelihood of having about 4,500 good to great days and two days that suck. Today is one of those days that truly sucks. Your “clock,” as I would describe it, was winding down. Over the past six months you were noticeably slower. I did not care – I was in no hurry to rush things. This realization, however, resulted in an endless tug of war between my head knowledge that knew the day was coming when your “clock” would eventually stop and my heart that could not imagine you being gone. Over the past month I was more than happy to help you get up. Lifting those back legs that simply no longer had the strength to push your 100+ pounds off the ground was not a problem. Once on all fours you were happy to take a walk and take care of “business”. Without question the distance we covered during our walks was getting shorter. After taking care of “business” you wanted to linger longer and longer and smell the tall grass. I was OK with that. It seemed to me you were enjoying it and may have been saying goodbye to those simple things that made you so happy. Yesterday morning, you were harder to get up but once moving we walked out the door as usual. When you fell taking care of “business,” I just assumed you stumbled on

After a few hours of rest, you got up under your own power circled the couch and returned to your pad. I was shocked that you had found a way to summon that much strength. I was so encouraged. I realized later you circled the couch to check on me. You caught me looking at pictures of you that spanned the 13 years we shared together. I guess you wanted to see if I was OK because I was sometimes crying pretty hard as I viewed those photos.

That afternoon we made a call to the vet and arranged a time for them to come by the house. They could make it the next morning. With about as much resolve as I could muster, I took a shower and left for my City Council meeting. I felt comfortable in going because when I left Sherrie was sitting next to you stroking your head. When I got home you raised your head off your pillow. When our eyes connected, and you wagged your tail, I teared up yet again. I knelt down and gave you a head and ear rub and your tail continued to wag. I quickly changed my clothes, but by the time I returned you were unconscious and breathing deeply but labored. I realize now you waited until I got home before starting to let go. You never liked anyone touching your feet – but you allowed me to rub your paws and hold them in my hands. I buried my head deeply against yours and cried so hard your ears became soaked.

I laid my hand on your side and felt the rhythm of your breathing. I talked to you about what a good dog you had been – far better than I deserved and how much I was going to miss you. After a while your breathing simply ceased; your “clock” stopped a few minutes before midnight. I gave you a long hug trying to take in that “doggie” smell that was uniquely yours and wanted to sear it into my memory forever. I gave you one last kiss on the head and then covered you with a blanket. Rest in peace my good friend. You blessed my life with so much joy and I am grateful for that. Thanks for being my dog.

When we adopt a dog or any pet, we know it’s going to end with us having to say goodbye, but we still do it. W. Bruce Cameron


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November 2019

Valley Voice

Wrestling the 900-lb. Gorilla in the Room By Brodie Farquhar

In northwest Colorado, Mary Alice Page-Allen, 60, is one of the most experienced planning and economic development professionals. And she’s come to work for the Town of Hayden.

The Hayden business park is a terrific asset for the community, and something Mary Alice can use to attract new business to the Hayden area.

More widely known as Mary Alice, she comes to the job after stints with the Town of Oak Creek, Routt County and Yampa Valley Housing Authority, dating back to 2001.

“Hayden is very wise to be proactive with the looming changes coming in coal and power generation. You don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket,” she said.

She spent seven years as Oak Creek’s first clerk and administrator, working on land use planning, economic development (not to mention a host of grants) and town beautification. “It is a compact community of characters,” she said with a grin. Because it was a small town, it was definitely hands-on and seemed, at times, like a 24/7 job. “I was looking for something a little less intense,” said Mary Alice. During her tenure, Oak Creek gained 14 cannabis-based businesses employing 40 people. “Some outfits were focused on medical use of marijuana, others on recreation,” she said. Only one was retail. “Many of those new jobs were filled by young people from outside Oak Creek.” And each of those new jobs probably supported or generated two more jobs. Oak Creek now has a substantial, light-industry infrastructure, said Mary Alice. The departure of one of those cannabis businesses for Salida doesn’t worry her – the 3,000 square foot facility will likely be filled quickly by someone else.

Hayden has hired a contractor, Norris Design, to help the town conduct a community plan update. The last community plan was back in 2003. She’s hoping the community involvement in the planning process can get underway this winter.

Right now, 80 percent of Hayden adults get up in the morning and drive somewhere else for work. “We need to change that dynamic so that work is closer to home by building this community,” said Mary Alice. She’s seen the Merc expand with a new Ace Hardware and is heartened that Steamboat investors like Paul Brinkman and Jim Cook are showing interest in or investing in Hayden. The new school complex is another big plus for the community. So too is the possible community use of the current auditorium/stage, gym and classrooms of the old school. “Retail, schools and churches are the three legs around which you can build neighborhoods,” she said. And Mary Alice is cautious about the impacts of growth and change. Sometimes, the best thing one can do for a particular neighborhood is to leave it alone. Other times, give it a focus and encourage growth.

The sidewalk up Hospital Hill in Hayden is nearly complete -- just fencing being installed on the downhill side. The sidewalk is down the hill from the road, which was torn up and repaved to accommodate a bigger water pipeline from the storage tank atop the hill. The sidewalk is asphalt paving and the path has solar-powered lighting posts. The solar cells are on top of the lighting posts. (photo by Brodie Farquhar)

“You don’t want to lose small town familiarity,” she said. She and her husband hope to retire to a farm they have near Vernal, so Hayden is her last hurrah as a planner and economic developer. “I hope I can make a difference,” she said.

Now she’s working in Hayden, a small town like Oak Creek, but one with a 900-pound gorilla in the room. Area coal mines and coal-burning power plants face likely closure within the next decade or so. King Coal is a dominant economic power in northwest Colorado – taxes, jobs and loads of costs and benefits. The power companies are trying to achieve a “soft landing” for employees of the plants and mines, said Mary Alice. She’s afraid that the closure of the plants and mines may come sooner and harder than expected. That’s why her Hayden job focuses so much on diversifying the local economy. “I’ve gone through so many booms and busts,” said Mary Alice. Some have been pretty high and deep. The value of a diversified economy is to moderate those ups and downs, she added.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

A 136-lot manufactured home park is being proposed on the west side of Hayden, by a Texas developer, David Zulejkic, of First Step Homes. Individual lots would have a manufactured home and a garage. The proposal is in a preliminary stage. Above is an artist's vision of a home and garage. At left is a map showing the lots, as well as a clubhouse, small pool, dog park and half-court basketball court.


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Valley Voice

November 2019

17

Drink of the Month

The Right Drink for the Right Occasion By Eric Kemper

Previously printed in the November 2017 issue of the Valley Voice remains a matter of scholarly debate. Regardless, the fact that the pilgrims did drink beer is beyond question. Water in the 17th century was rife with disease, so beer was the safe choice for healthy hydration. Today, American beer culture flourishes. There are more breweries in America today than at any other time since Prohibition. The styles and flavors available run the gamut and come in most any flavor you can imagine. In this season when we gather with family and friends, to share in the giving of thanks and to feast on the harvest of plenty, the things you choose to drink should be every bit the match for the food you eat. In that spirit, here are a few suggestions for your holiday table:

Beer, for all of its complexity and ubiquity, is such a simple beverage. It has only four ingredients, yet in every glass is contained a history of the world from which each beer originates. Water, malt, hops and yeast are all it takes to make this most popular of drinks worldwide. The type of grains, hops and yeast strains the brewer selects determines the characteristics in each glass, and what story that particular beer will tell. The story of America itself is inextricably linked to beer. Legend tells that the Mayflower pilgrims ended up in Plymouth rather than Virginia because they were running low on beer and needed to come ashore to brew. Whether this is a fact or merely a convenient story concocted by beer companies before Prohibition to attempt to shield themselves by hearkening back to history and heritage

Lagers-- Lagers are the most popular style of beer in America. Clean and crisp, they are refreshing and generally inoffensive enough to go with any meal, especially one as delicious as Thanksgiving dinner. The downside here is their commonness. Something is less special if you have it all the time, so step your game up and branch out a little. Even if lagers are what you truly like best, branch out and try something new. Lone Tree Brewing’s Mexican Lager just won Gold in its category at the GABF. Stouts-- Heavy and dark, stouts are a robust beer well suited to the darker and colder months. I don’t find them the best match for the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but everyone’s tastes are their own alone. I enjoy a nice Imperial Stout in the evening after dinner when the leftovers are put away and the board games have come out. Ciders-- Ciders are old and traditional, yet at the same time, an expanding new frontier in the field of craft beer. Dry ciders feature the crispness of a good lager, but with a distinct flavor all their own. Sam Smith’s is the classic standard by which all others are measured. Sours-- Not the first beer most people think of, period, let alone as an accompaniment to Thanksgiving dinner. However, it works brilliantly, and it is in fact what I myself will be having. The depth of flavors is incredible, and the acidity of the beer makes for an excellent palate cleanser.

A heartier base beer, such as a brown ale, is used and the best ones have a balance of both real pumpkin flavor and a nice but not overwhelming bouqet of spices. Buffalo Bill’s was the first, but, based on sheer popularity, Dogfish Head might do it consistently the best. Enjoy one with your slice of pie. *** On a non-beer note, November also features several special annual releases. One of the most coveted is the Buffalo Trace Antique Collection, and specifically, Pappy Van Winkle. Pappy is a wheated bourbon , aged for periods of up to 12, 15, 20 or even 23 years. Hard to lay hands on at local stores due to ridiculously high demand, a secondary market flourishes. Enjoy neat or over a single cube, on special occasions, often with important business partners. *** Whatever brew you choose, may you enjoy it with loved ones and have a safe, healthy and very Happy Thanksgiving. Cheers!

My favorite for this meal is Russian River’s Temptation, aged in Chardonnay barrels. Pumpkin beer-- Pumpkin ales have become a staple of the season. A uniquely American beer, they exemplify so much of what there is to love about fall.

What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience?—Adam Smith


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November 2019

Valley Voice

The “LOCAL’S” choice for Personalized Health Care

Happy Thanksgiving!

Festive Decorations, Candles and more!

Mensan Musings

Interbeing By Wolf Bennett

Thank you to Scott Sampson

Poetry

Street Busker By Fran Conlon

A respite amid the hurried ride, O'er head against blue, clouds do dance, The street busker's song like earth's tide, Are notes rising for my soul's embrace. Harmonious scales reveal the beat, Striking the hardtop with clarity's note, Echoing the cosmos beneath heaven's feet, Past lives have learned the dance by rote. Music must come from the spheres, Spirit lets the trees sway and sing, With memories formed o'er the years, When youthful souls took life's swing. Now the moment of transcendence, As dramatic notes drift away, Easing the visit of cosmic suspense, The song and dancing now seem so fay. I am still hearing when it is over, A rich green park of grass and clover. (I'll walk on and hum, a bit off key, And slip by crowds since I am free.)

“If you are a poet, you will see clearly that there is a cloud floating in a sheet of paper. Without a cloud, there will be no rain; without rain, trees cannot grow; and without trees, we cannot make paper. The cloud is essential for the paper to exist. If the cloud is not here, the sheet of paper cannot be here either… ‘Interbeing’ is a word that is not in the dictionary yet, but if we combine the prefix ‘inter-’ with the verb ‘to be’, we have a new verb, inter-be. Without a cloud, we cannot have a paper, so we say that the cloud and the paper inter-are…. To be is to inter-be. You cannot just be by yourself alone. You have to inter-be with every other thing in existence. This sheet of paper is, because everything else is.” Thich Nhat Hanh That quote could sound like wisdom or just goofy logic. Actually though, it is based heavily on facts that surround us, if we just choose to see them. It is fact that “You” are not one life-form – not one self – but many. For example, your cells all have mitochondria essential for cellular energy production. They keep you alive, without them, you would die. Mitochondria are more numerous and are a greater volume of each of your cells than “your” cell material. Here is the twist though, they have a completely different DNA structure than “you”. They have a different life cycle than your cells. They are in a symbiotic relationship with “you” that has carried on for many hundreds of millions of years. There are more of ‘them’ than ‘you’. You also have many thousands of different bacteria and microbes that are essential to your life, living in, on and around you. ‘You’ have about 10 trillion human cells and over a hundred trillion bacterial cells in ‘you’, which means that “you” are about 90 percent nonhuman and are home to many more life forms than the number of people living on earth. Our lives are totally dependent on this menagerie of ever changing critters inside us. “Your” body actually replaces every atom about every seven years, so “you” are completely “new” all the time. At what time does your last breath of air, most recent drink, or dinner, or the “you” that is water (about 80%) not really be “you” anymore? Your skin is as much permeable membrane as a barrier so, much like a whirlwind, it is actually quite difficult to figure out where the world ends and “you” begin. The word “spirit” has its roots in the Greek “Spiritos” which means “breath”. You are literally breathing the same air and drinking the same water as the founding fathers, the Romans, the Egyptians and thus history is brought into the paths of our lives and go far beyond who “you” are. You are a product of time that is quite different from “your” perception. And yet as humans we have a tendency to think of ourselves as separate from everything else. We are some sort of isolated machines that are distinctly “us”. Our western culture insists on some sort of duality, some sort of “us and them” thinking, a world separate and externalized.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Many see it as superiority over the things that keep us alive. It is perceived that “we” are doing things completely independently of the surrounding world and its evolution, which most definitely is not true. The notion of separateness is an illusion. We have constant exchange with energy and matter with that world “out there”. Many cultures attempt to define specific races and justify brutal, ugly actions within the human genome which I find silly. Religions often take it a step further and have built many beliefs that are not even of this reality we call home, somehow “beyond” existence, space and time. One of the greatest difficulties in science education is the fact that the vastness of the universe exists in extremely huge scale (think galaxies and billions of years) far larger than us or smaller than us (think cellular or atomic) into the smallest scales. We are somewhere in the middle, leaning into the small range, thus requiring tools (telescopes, microscopes, math, physics, logic, education, science, philosophy) help us to “see” ourselves and our greater universe. It is difficult to see past the “mesoworld” of plants, animals and other humans. Reducing uncertainty and exposing gaps between appearance and reality are the main missions of science. The traditional approach is the painstaking accumulation of knowledge that enables people to understand risks, options and consequences. Our brains are complex and fascinating but easily damaged, actually quite limited in many ways and heavily flawed due to training and indoctrination. Commonly we hide behind “what” to think instead of admitting that we don’t know very much at all. It is far easier to “know” that something is “truth” than to admit ignorance, absurdity, mistakes or flawed systems of thought. I think that the current path viewing ourselves as separate is extremely dangerous. Environmental destruction is already harming us with greater changes coming. Entire ecosystems are collapsing and huge Trophic cascades are in play and yet many continue to act as if nothing is happening. Many deny loudly when told that their patterns are damaging or if told to not do something. Science proves that we cannot wish or think away anything and yet we wave wands, chant incantations, supplicate and spend our time hoping things will change. This is dangerous for us and our progeny, not to mention the generations of creatures and the environment following us. Be a poet and see the connections. Be a scientist and study and measure things. Be a philosopher and question your logic and thought patterns. Enjoy the universe that you are a very small part of. You do have an impact so be aware of it. “You” don’t exist in the ways that you think you do. Remember that your brain “cheats” and does many things automatically that you are not aware of to create your “reality”. “Inter-be” and have a great month. “The Earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself. All things share the same breath – the tree, the beast, the man...the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports. This we know, all things are connected”. Chief Seattle


Valley Voice

November 2019

Tales from the Front Desk

19

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The Bear By Aimee Kimmey

The story you are about to read is true... more or less. Sunday. 4:42 pm. Parking lot. The days were getting short, the nights were starting to freeze. It was very nearly time to snuggle in and sleep the winter away. Except the bear's stomach was still grumbling. He knew it was going to be a long time before he'd be able to get out and eat again, he needed just a little more food before nestling in. The best meals came from the human dumpsters. Sure, berries were delicious in the spring and summer, but humans made the most delectable trash. Burger wrappers, half eaten rotisserie chickens, unfinished bags of chips, jars with peanut butter slathered all over the insides... The drool pooled at the corners of his mouth just thinking about it. He stepped out into the smelly black trail the humans loved so much and ambled toward his favorite dumpster. Well, maybe third favorite behind the fish restaurant, and that place on the mountain that made such strange and wonderful concoctions. But the hotel dumpster was right up there. The humans routinely filled it with bags of greasy fast food, pizza slices, and sticky left-overs--there was always something good there! The moment his paws hit the blacktop, the metal beasts that lived there screeched at him like they always did when he crossed it. He passed them without a second glance, the dumpster was in sight. It was tucked around the edge of the hotel. He could smell the delights from here. He picked up the pace just a little.

All around, humans leapt from their metal beasts to rush toward him. He ignored them, keeping his eyes on the prize. Bright flashes of light from their devices filled his vision with dark spots. He shook his head, trying to clear them. He wanted to run toward the dumpster, but he couldn't spare the calories. Humans swirled around him, gawking. Hadn't they ever seen a bear before? He heard several of them gasp. An older male with a tiny, smashed-face dog on a string recoiled. The diminutive beast snarled bravely at him, every one of its little hairs standing on end. It still didn't make the little puff-ball threatening, the bear could have swallowed him whole in one bite... But, ug, that wouldn't be half as tasty as what was in the dumpster ahead of him. The man scooped up his little pet and backed away, as if the bear had any interest in them. By now people were rushing out of the hotel toward him, waving their devices, blocking his path to the dumpster. The sent of something greasy tickled his nose, his stomach rumbled. As he reached the other side of the street, the bear hesitated. The wall of humans between him and his dinner was growing. He didn't want to engage with them, bad things happened to bears that got into it with humans. But the dumpster was so close, and smelled so good... Emboldened by his hesitation, humans began closing in around him. Suddenly the bear was beginning to wonder if he'd made a really bad choice. He felt his own back hairs standing up. Behind the wall of people, the woman who belonged to the hotel stepped out of the building. The bear had seen her before, she sometimes put large white bags into the dumpster. It was never anything he wanted, but she seemed cool. She shouted something at the humans. They all looked at her for a moment. Then miraculously, the wall of humanity between him and the dumpster began to break up. He took a tentative step forward. People fell back. Behind him, humans crawled back into their metal beasts. Slowly rolling back to their lives and out of the bear's. He took another small step toward the dumpster, a few people still lingered in his way. The hotel woman shouted again, and they fell back. She was rapidly becoming the bear's favorite human. After a few more small steps toward dinner, the humans fell away entirely. The path between him and the dumpster was suddenly wide open. He wanted to hug the hotel woman. With renewed glee, the bear lumbered to the great metal food box. With the delicious smell of buried treasure filling his nostrils, the bear soon forgot about the few humans still watching him. It was dinner time!

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879.5929 905 Weiss Drive - across HWY 40 from the Holiday Inn

Poetry

It's All Good By Joan Remy

Just tell the truth I see through pretense Even white lies can sting a bit Amazing we live so close With borders Keeping us far away Actually it works for me I only want to be around friends Kind and facetious Who look at you directly Tease endlessly Astound me with love and creativity

Real Freedom lies in wildness, not civilization.—Charles Lindbergh


20

November 2019

Valley Voice

Mouth, meet Soap

Salt with Your Meal? By Sean Derning

Smoking Acecessories & Other Curiosities

“Umm,” I stammered, “We have a reservation for four. The name is Derning.”

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“Fan-f**king-tastic,” she said. “If you’ll get your a**es in gear and follow me, I’ll take you to your d*mn table.”

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We look at each other and laugh nervously before following her. We were seated and then our waiter arrived.

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“Evening, folks! I’m B*stard Bob and I’ll be your waiter tonight. If you need something, please don’t yell out, “hey, you b*stard!” as it may confuse my coworker, B*stard Bill. Shall we start off with some d*mn drinks? We’ve got big a** pitchers of beer for $12.”

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“Hell, yeah!” I said, getting swept up into the experience. Bob departed and we shyly looked around us as we saw other diners at various stages of their meals. F-bombs and other profanity were dropping faster than forks on plates. “Well, this is different,” said Lisa. Bob returned with a frosty pitcher of beer and some glasses.

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“Have you a**hats had a chance to look at the menu and are you ready to order?”

2620 South Copper Frontage

The community has been mourning the loss of Low, a fine Steamboat eatery that offered exceptional and authentic southern food, like delicious fried chicken and shrimp and grits. The restaurant was located in the remodeled historic house on 9th St., providing added charm to one’s dining experience. Due to refinancing problems, it shuttered soon after it opened, according to the local daily news.

“Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy.”

Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

So what is the next restaurant to take over? I’m gazing into my crystal ball and have identified the new tenant and the next business. In the near future, Steamboat will be visited by actor/producer Samuel L. Jackson. He will fall in love with our town and some local restauranteur will approach Mr. Jackson to partner into a unique restaurant concept. And, no pun intended, Mr. Jackson will bite on the idea.

The Original Local’s Liquor Store On the corner of US40 and Hilltop Pkwy

The new restaurant will feature the same location and great southern food to fill the void left open by the departure of Low. Yet to provide a twist on the original idea and following the scripts of many Jackson movies, the menu and waitstaff will communicate in conversational expletives and children are not allowed in the restaurant. The name of this new dining experience will be called Cuss. er

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BO UR et a rT g p fo i and u n WiF KU* Sig d e O nag EE R Ma FR

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Coming Soon ….Zirkel TV….

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I plan on visiting the new establishment in the future with my wife Lisa and another couple, Josie and Mario. Here is how the evening will commence;

“Cubes of f**king sirloin dipped into our special b*stard batter and fried,” said Bob. “Does it come with any d*mn dipping sauce?” “Yeah, chunky a** blue cheese or honey b*stard mustard.” “I’ll have that sh*t with the b*stard mustard,” she said. Bob turned to Josie, who was having a bit of trouble adjusting to the social situation. “Well, it’s Friday,” she said quietly. “I’d like to have fish. Should I have the tuna tacos or the c*cks*cker salmon salad.” “C*cks**cker, hands down,” said Bob. “Do you want that sh*t steamed or grilled?” Josie gave a muttered response. “I can’t f**king hear you when you mumble,” said Bob. “Steamed or grilled?” Irritated, Josie said, “Grilled, you pr*ck!”

“Good evening! Welcome to Cuss. What the f**k do you want?”

It was my turn. “How good is the finger lickin’ f**kin’ chicken?”

Arthur C. Clarke

For those who live here and for those who wish they did. a

“What are the rattlesnake f**k nuggets?” Lisa asked.

We all arrive at the restaurant, where we notice nothing has changed since the original facelift which was fine to begin with. We approach the podium and the maitre’d greets us.

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The table giggled and we agreed we were ready.

We all laughed and Bob drew a wide grin, knowing the Josie had come out of her shell and was playing along.


Valley Voice

November 2019

Poetry

Fall

“Sh*t yeah! I’ll have that.” “And have you made up your d*mn mind?” Bob said, turning to Mario. “I’d like the m*therf**king meatloaf,” said Mario. “And can I get some gravy on that sh*t?” “Abso-f**king-lutely,” said Bob. The meal arrived shortly and we dug in. Comments were as salty as the food. “This salmon is good as f**k,” said Josie.

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“We marinate it in some salty a** pickle juice and then dip it in that b*stard batter. Got the recipe from the owner’s uncle, a real s*n of a b*tch.”

21

Huge Color Selection!

I love the feel of fall Red and gold trimmed days Apple trees picked bare Pumpkin fields now stark and spare

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Leaves untethered twirling Dancing everywhere Branches also bleak and bare As wind-blown seeds ply the air

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“The chicken doesn’t suck either,” I said. “I like saying honey b*stard mustard,” said Lisa. Mario was too busy cleaning his plate to comment. Bob passed by, “How’s that sh*t taste?”

The peace of mist-filled mornings Crisp and still The smell of rain against the earth Crackling fires about each hearth

Hayden

“F**king awesome!” we all said together and laughed, like a Chili’s commercial blooper outtake. Putting up with the salty talk, this restaurant would be more than a mouthful, both verbally and edibly, if it ever materialized. If you come to a restaurant getting more than a great meal and experiencing a floor show at the same time, it should create a positive, memorable experience. Even though this dining fantasy may never become reality and push social norms, sins can quickly be forgiven if the food is so good it keeps you from talking and/or cussing. Chew on that.

Steamboat Springs Walden

Meeker

The ebb and flow of time And late sun risings As November’s solemn light Gives way to winter stark and white Yet even the darkest gloomy day Seems but a simple overlay Waiting for the burst of spring To slow green everything.

Go Old School! only

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Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.—William Hazlitt


22

November 2019

Valley Voice

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide Located at Neste Auto Glass

Great Prices, Services & Parts

Talk Too Much? By Mr. Helpful, MD

I’m just asking, but … do you talk WAY too frickin’ much? I spoke with a nice young man, Frank/23, good looking guy, and he had something different about him. He had a great sense of humor and listening skills. Any idiot monkey can be funny, but to appreciate someone else’s humor by paying attention is kind of a rare thing; especially in anyone under 30 years old. I want you to know the nature of this man because the story he told me was about having manners, listening and paying attention to your date.

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Frank told me about a date he had with a woman whom he had met at a bar. The bar was the first meet up and they both were with friends and decided to chat later and meet up for dinner a day or two later. At that time both were in good spirits and looking rather good to each other. At the date, Frank’s date expressed interest in activism and being involved in social reform. Very admirable endeavors and Frank thought he had found a high quality person and was intrigued to know more about this fabulous woman. And wow did he find out more. When she got started telling her tale, she wouldn’t stop. The fire in her belly was incredible. Passionate, informed, articulate. This woman was on a roll for over 20 minutes and according to Frank, she was just getting started. To be P.C. about this, I’m thrilled that anyone has a passion about wanting to change the world for the better, and from the story I heard this woman is someone we want to lead the charge.

970-879-2725

3162 Elk River Road, Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

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NOW here’s why I’m bringing any of this up. She Blew It. This woman was on a date with a great guy who thought she was interesting, attractive, smart and the potential of being a terrific relationship. But her ego and desire to be heard had forgotten all of that once she started in a rant about her favorite subject – whatever is coming out of her mouth.

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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

This is NOT an issue with women talking too much. This is all about anyone with a big mouth. Holy Crappola, if you are on a date with someone who talks for over 5 minutes, takes a breath and then continues for another 20 minutes – trust me, it’s not you. Ask a frikin’ question for crying out loud. These continuous sentence types are horrible to be friends with, let alone try and have a date or relationship. For the most part they are unaware of their own condition and when they know, make little to no effort to change this behavior. Our buddy Frank was just trying to get to know his date. His date lost the base nature of the evening. MAYBE she wasn’t into him and turned the evening into an educational seminar. Maybe she was testing her date to see if he was strong enough to be her man (which is a BS thing to do to anyone, I don’t care who you are). Or maybe, and I think I’m going with this one, maybe she was so caught up with hearing her own voice, she couldn’t stop making conversational points; one right after another for 25 minutes. I know the last one is probably the case because I used to be “That Guy” myself. Never ending story teller. I know you can’t tell from knowing me this long, but it’s true. It’s a painful thing to find out YOU are the one that everyone hates to be around because of this problem. To get over it, on a date, I started counting my sentences. After counting my 4 or 5 sentences, I would stop myself from rambling and ask a question to my date. Doing my best to turn the conversation back to them. After two years of practicing I learned to change my behavior and became a true conversationalist. The lesson here is this: if you are on a date with a story teller and it’s not going well, do your best to be nice and get out of it with grace and manners. Frank did, you can too. If you are the Blowhard/Babbler/Never Ending Windbag - Pay attention to your date you Idiot. When their eyes roll to the back of their head or their head slams on the table from boredom or they haven’t said a single word in minutes; realize that you are the one who ruined the date, not them. On a recent date with a never-ending sentence, I reached for the check and she remarked with a bit of a laugh “Oh, it’s not time for that yet, is it?” The best I could retort with without making things awkward was “Well, I don’t want our waitress to have to wait for us.” A few minutes later I interrupted her live streaming ramble with a respectful “Excellent. Well, shall we?” and I stood up, inviting her to join me in our exit. Once outside I thanked my date and with my body language and tone, she knew we were done with no hope of a second date. You too, dear readers, can find your voice to be respectful with proper social graces and end a date that needs to come to an end.

Next month – Never wear a Gimp suit in front of your grandma - How to announce Your Fetish to your family, friends and the general public.

W

I

B


Valley Voice

November 2019

Wellness Corner

Improve Your Digestion By Kari Pollert

How is your digestion? Is it smooth, regular, and pretty much trouble-free? Or is there gas, rumbling, and bloating? Are you backed up or too loose? Do you have acidreflux, or an irritable or inflamed bowel? Improving your digestion is one of the most important things we can do for our health. But where do we start? Some people don’t like to cook. Some people don’t like fruits and vegetables. Some people grew up in a family that didn’t cook much at all, or never ate fruits and vegetables. Some people don’t have time to cook. I get it, we live very busy lives! But I’m here to help you understand some things you can do to improve your digestion, and you don’t have to become a gourmet cook! #1) Get off sugar and high-fructose corn syrup, or at least greatly reduce it. This includes sodas, sports drinks, fruit drinks, sweetened coffee, sweetened tea, candy, etc. Soda sweetened with stevia leaf is a better choice. Fruit juice that is made from 100% juice and concentrates is a better choice. All natural sports drinks are a better choice. Choose to not sweeten your coffee and tea. #2) Eliminate or greatly reduce white refined wheat flour products. This includes bagels, English muffins, white tortillas, pasta, hamburger and hotdog buns, white rolls, sweet rolls, pizza, white bread, crackers, cookies, cakes. I know this is a tough one and you were hoping that I wouldn’t go here! But folks, white flour is akin to sugar in your digestive system. Also, wheat today is not the same wheat grain we grew up with. Today, wheat has been over-hybridized, and 95% of wheat grown in the US is grown and harvested with Roundup/glyphosate. It is possible that some of what we experience as gluten-intolerance may not only be an allergy to gluten, but pesticide and herbicide toxicity as well. This degrades the gut lining. Instead, buy rice, rice crackers, organic whole grain wheat products, organic corn chips and tortillas (95% of US corn is also grown with Roundup), gluten-free pastas, and oatmeal. You can also experiment with eating more nuts and beans for extra protein. #3) Some people are dairy-intolerant. Milk, cheese, sour cream, and ice cream cause serious indigestion for them. Others are ok with yogurt. #4) Curb the late night eating. Give your digestive system a chance to rest by not eating after dinner. #5) Make a list of 5 fruits and 5 vegetables that you like and are agreeable to you. Have 1 of each everyday. This doesn’t mean the single leaf of lettuce and thin slice of tomato you get on your McDonald’s hamburger! What

this means is a whole piece or ½ cup of fruit pieces, and a whole vegetable (like a carrot) or ½ cup of vegetables everyday. I had one client commit to an apple and a carrot everyday to get her out of constipation. You may do better with cooked or steamed vegetables until your digestive system gets stronger. Use butter and spices to flavor them! Butter is not the bad fat we were told it was decades ago. #6) Reduce the chemicals. Artificial sweeteners are in this category. Also MSG (monosodium glutamate), a flavor enhancer. Artificial colors, flavorings, and preservatives are in this category. If you can’t pronounce it, and you don’t recognize it as a food, it probably isn’t a food! #7) Drink more water to hydrate your body and flush out toxins. #8) Work your way off antacids. By removing offensive foods from your diet, acid reflux will very likely calm down. Sometimes just going off wheat or dairy can make a big difference. Your stomach needs to have an acidic environment to begin to breakdown your food. By neutralizing stomach acids with antacids, the rest of the digestive process gets off to a bad start. Much of your food passes through your digestive system partially digested. #9) Reduce antibiotic use. Work with your doctor on this one. Antibiotics kill not only bad bacteria, but also the beneficial bacteria that help us digest our food.

Recurring Weekly Events: SUNDAY

WEDNESDAY

Swinging Sunday 7-10PM/ Latin Night 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE.

Dart League 6:30PM @ The V

Karaoke Night & CONTEST West Coast Swing Dance Win $500 CASH Lessons 7-8PM 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. Late Night Latin Dance FREE Night 10PM www.schmiggitys.com www.schmiggitys.com THURSDAY MONDAY Steamboat Springs Meatball Monday & Writers Group Guitar/Piano Bar Night Noon @ Art Depot.FREE 8:30PM @ Schmiggity’s. www.steamboatwriters. FREE. com www.schmiggitys.com Live Band Karaoke/ TUESDAY Schmiggity Jam 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. Pool League FREE 6:30PM @ The V www.schmiggitys.com Two-Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Country Dance Lessons). FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

Cannabis Dispensary

#10) Reduce aspirin use. Again work with your doctor on this one. Aspirin taken everyday, even low dose has been shown to degrade the gut lining, and can cause intestinal bleeding and serious problems down the line. Talk with your doctor about other ways to thin the blood. #11) Create an acidic pH in your digestive tract. Over the years there has been a lot of misunderstanding about acid and alkaline in the body. Our blood needs to be slightly alkaline, but our gut needs to be acidic. In the gut, an alkaline pH sets up a breeding ground for negative bacteria, whereas an acidic pH in the gut is what the beneficial bacteria need to grow and thrive. You can help acidify your digestive tract by taking a tablespoon or two of apple cider vinegar or lemon juice in a glass of water everyday.

23

S T E A M B O AT S P R I N G S

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#12) Quality supplements can greatly assist smooth digestion. Sometimes we need extra help. As we get older, our natural digestive enzymes decrease, so taking digestive enzymes may be necessary. Also, probiotics and fermented food supplements can help establish and maintain proper pH to reduce gas and bloating. This list is a general guideline that you can use with the goal of better digestion. Of course, more serious digestive problems require more serious intervention. But with any body system, it takes time to heal and improve. So be patient but be persistent and your efforts will pay off!

Kari Pollert is a licensed acupuncturist with extensive training in nutrition and herbal medicine. If you want to learn more about how nutrition and supplements can help, go to Kari’s website: Lifelinehealthandnutrition.com, or call her at 970-846-8985, or email info@lifelinehn.com.

970-879-7355 Thursday - Saturday: 10am - 11pm Sunday - Wednesday: 10am - 10pm

Brewery of the Month:

Sierra Nevada

To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well.—John Marshall


24

November 2019

Valley Voice

Calendar of Free Events To submit your free events or calendar information e-mail to: ericvalleyvoice@gmail.com Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month. FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 8

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 14

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 19

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 24

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 29

First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE.

Coffee with Council 7:30AM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net

Steamboat Community Blood Drive 12:30–6PM @ At UCHealth Yampa Valley Medical Center Vitalant.org, click on Donate, and use site code 0234.

City Council Meeting (Includes Steamboat Springs Redevelopment Authority) 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net

Turkey BINGO The VFW Noon – 2:00 & 2:30 – 4:00 Fun for the whole family!

Light Up The Night 6-6:30PM @ Courthouse Lawn. mainstreetsteamboat.com

MONDAY NOVEMBER 25

Green Buddha 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

Tnertle 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY NOVEMBER 2 Muzzy Bearr - 2 SHOWS! All Ages 8PM $15 & 21+ 10:30PM $10 @ Schmiggity’s. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY NOVEMBER 3 Daylight Saving Time Ends MONDAY NOVEMBER 4 Free Film: “Wild Hope,” and conversation with filmmaker Suez Jacobson 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events TUESDAY NOVEMBER 5 Election Day History Happy Hour 5:30PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Company. FREE. treadofpioneers.org WED. NOVEMBER 6 Free Film: “No Small Matter” Film & discussion about the importance of early childhood education with free dinner and childcare 5:30-7:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE. RSVP to First Impressions at 970.870.5270 www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events THURSDAY NOVEMBER 7 NaNoWriMo Write-In 5:30-8PM @ Off the Beaten Path. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events

Moontricks w/ Chewy & Bach 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY NOVEMBER 9 Policulture w/ Dubbest 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com MONDAY NOVEMBER 11 Veterans Day Artists On Film: Toni Morrison, “The Pieces I Am” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events Billiards Basic - Lady’s Only 6:30 PM @ The V $10 Pre-Register by Saturday, 11/09 1 draft or well drink & table fees included TUESDAY NOVEMBER 12 City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net WED. NOVEMBER 13 Historic Preservation Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas Parks & Recreation Commission 5:30PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas Wild Films: “Changing Arctic,” Four Shorts From the 2019 International Wildlife Film Festival 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events

Planning Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/agendas NaNoWriMo Write-In 5:30-8PM @ Off the Beaten Path. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events FRIDAY NOVEMBER 15 Indie Lens Pop-Up: “The First Rainbow Coalition” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events Freekbass 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com 8-Ball Tournament 6:30 @ The V Friday & Saturday Pre-Register by Thursday, 11/14. Double elimination, $20 entry, 100% payback SATURDAY NOVEMBER 16 Home For the Holidays Craft Fair 9AM-2PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library. mainstreetsteamboat.com Festival of Trees Through November 25 11AM-5PM @ Tread Of Pioneers Museum. FREE. treadofpioneers.org Jive Tribe 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com 8-Ball Tournament 6:30 @ The V Friday & Saturday Pre-Register by Thursday, 11/14. Double elimination, $20 entry, 100% payback

WED. NOVEMBER 20 Bud Werner Memorial Library’s Foreign Film Series at the Chief “The Third Wife” 7:00PM @ Chief Theater. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events THURSDAY NOVEMBER 21 Senior Tea in the Trees 2PM @ Tread Of Pioneers Museum. FREE. treadofpioneers.org Planning Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/election

Free Film: “Sea of Shadows” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events TUESDAY NOVEMBER 26 NaNoWriMo Write-In 5:30-8PM @ Off the Beaten Path. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events THURSDAY NOVEMBER 28 Thanksgiving

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 30 Howelsen Hill Open Day (Weather Permitting) steamboatsprings.net/ski Small Business Saturday mainstreetsteamboat.com Small Business Saturday With Winter Clark Prizes Available! @ Off The Beaten Path MIDIcinal 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

NaNoWriMo Write-In 5:30-8PM @ Off the Beaten Path. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events Funk You 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY NOVEMBER 22 Yampa Valley Ute Tribe Trivia Night 5PM @ Off The Beaten Path Supervillains 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY NOVEMBER 23 Pioneer Christmas Storytime in the Trees 11AM @ Tread Of Pioneers Museum. FREE. treadofpioneers.org Worried Men 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

"So that's what my pelvic floor looks like." Photo by Sean Derning

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.


Schmac and Cheese

Valley Voice

November 2019

25

Local Fun

The Yampuzzler

Answers on page 27

By Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean

821 Lincoln Ave - schmiggitys.com / North 41 w h s a B n owee 0/31: Hall 5 1 , y a d s r $ Thu ck) 10 pm (Funk/Ro 1: Tnertlek Hop) 10 pm $5 / 1 1 , y a id Fr tronic Fun OWS! (Live Elec arr - 2 SH & 21+ e B y z z u pm $15 , 11/2: M Saturday tronic) All Ages 8 (Live Elec $10 10:30 pm wy&Bach$5 e h C / w s m trick nica) 10 p /8: Moon Friday, 11 ss Music & Folk-tro (Blues Ba / DubbestEE! w e r u lt u R lic ) 10 pm F , 11/9: Po Saturday Mountain Reggae (Original ss : Freekba 5 1 / 1 1 , y ! Frida pm FREE (Funk) 10 e ! : Jive Trib ock) 10 pm FREE 6 1 / 1 1 , y Saturda nk, Psychedelic R (Soul, Fu ou 1: Funk Y ! 2 / 1 1 , y a Thursd ck) 10 pm FREE (Funk Ro ins Supervillaock, Punk, Ska) : 2 2 / 1 1 , Friday Alternative, R (Reggae, EE! 10 pm FR Men E! : Worried etal) 10 pm FRE 3 2 / 1 1 , y Saturda Dead to Heavy M (Grateful n Buddha FREE! e e r G : 9 2 / Friday, 11 Funk, Soul) 10 pm , e a (Regg inal 30: MIDIc EE! / 1 1 , y a d FR Satu ic) 10 pm EE (Electron 0 pm/ FR dhart

Across

1. "Peanuts," for one 6. Bygone Russion despot 10. "Quatro" + "quatro" 14. Absolutely must (2 wds.) 15. Bumpkin 16. "Rush Hour" co-star Jackie 17. "That's not news to me!" (2 wds.) 18. Nothing more than 19. Cleveland's Great Lake 20. Greater than 90 degrees 22. Sends off 23. URL ender 26. Solemn vow 27. Sanford & ___ 28. Assumed name 30. "___ something I said?" (2 wds.) 32. Former Pan Am rival 35. Glacial formation 36. Grind, as one's teeth 37. Suffix for potent 38. Dog in a children's song 39. Hawaiian necklace 40. Song of mourning 42. He floated like a butterfly 43. Let loose 45. Archaeological dig sites 46. QVC rival 47. Show off at Muscle Beach 48. 2019 Best of the 'Boat furniture store 49. Takes one's turn 51. Org. that promotes veganism 53. Nest egg initials IRA 54. "___ Have No Bananas" (2 wds.) 56. ___ form (as expected) (2 wds.) 58. ___ Go Bragh! 59. Stadium section 60. Excited about (2 wds.) 64. "High" or "low" water 65. "White Album" song "___ Tired" (2 wds.) 66. Lift 67. Bumped off 68. Disarray 69. Mr. John of rock

y" 7-1 t Goo ing SundaLessons with Scot g in w S " : Sunday st Swing Dance ancing 10 pm West Coaate Night Latin D ht o Bar Niglls n ia 7-8 pm L /P r a it day & Gu E meatba tball Monood time and FRE a e M : y a Mond - Sing along g 8:30 pm ey last! ons ance Less D while th y r t n u o FREE C Step 7 pm7 pm o w T : y a Tuesd anda Leftwich with Am T 9 pm & CONTESCASH. t h ig N e k Win $500 ay: Karao Wednesd, Costumes & Fun! 0 pm Karaoke ity Jam 9:3 g ig m h c raoke/S e Band Kah a live band! iv L : y a d s it Thur y along w Sing or pla

Down

1. Life force, in Taoism 2. Street between Pine and Lincoln 3. ISP choice 4. "Am ___ early?" (2 wds.) 5. Ski run...that will wake you up in Morningside Park 6. Rainbow fish 7. Ski lift...that services Wally World 8. Capable 9. "The Force Awakens" scavenger 10. Continental separator 11. Ski lift...that will get you to Vogue 12. Cousin of snow 13. Tip jar contents 21. Scottish cap 22. Ski run...that was made by and named in honor of a mudslide 23. The Clash rocked it 24. Steamboat's recently-relocated Irish Tavern & Grill 25. Ski lift...that opened in 1996 to access the east slope of Mt. Werner

27. Bro's sib 29. Pester 31. Uttered 33. 'Ring Cycle' composer Richard 34. Actress Milano 36. Fox series set in William McKinley High School 41. Mon., in Paris 44. "Treasure Island" author's inits. 48. Ingested 50. Defeated consistently 52. European capital 54. Mysterious Himalayan 55. Composer Satie 56. "Newsweek" competitor 57. Australian mineral 59. Tiny "A Christmas Carol" character 61. In shape 62. Valley Voice cat 63. Stimpy's dog friend

Oh Schmiggity!

Tickets online at schmiggitys.com or at All That. Schmappy Hour 7-9 Daily

Photo by Moses Neutron

Each one of us fulfills a piece of a larger puzzle.—Eric McCormack


26

November 2019

Valley Voice

Yepelloscopes

Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries

March 21 - April 19

Your televised speech broadcast to thousands of people will not be well received when you decide to be inspiring and profound by reciting it in sign language. Most people won’t understand, but you will be revolutionary to a small population of hearing-impaired viewers.

Taurus

GOLDEN LEAF WILL

MATCH

ANY PRICE

IN STEAMBOAT * * Excludes flower. Not to be combined with any other discounts.

April 20 - May 20

Problems are like Zombies, you may be able to run from them, you can avoid their grasp, you can escape them by hiding amongst them, but eventually they will find you. What you can control is the decision to fight them. You might get overwhelmed by the hoard, but if you pick them off one at a time eventually you will finish them all off.

Gemini

May 20 - June 20

The most meaningful, beautiful and inspiring moment will change the entire course of your life this week dear Aquarius... oh wait... you’re a Gemini...ummm... never mind.

Cancer

June 21 - July 22

It is said that tourists are attracted to The Valley because of the colorful autumn leaves, crisp mountain air and quaint hometown feel. The truth is they really come because of that coffee guy with his own YouTube channel.

Leo

July 23 - August 23

The moral pressure you feel is inconceivable, which is exactly why you installed that steam escape valve in your head.

Virgo

August 23 - September 22

Life tip: You can avoid child proofing your house with pesky plastic locks by never reproducing or allowing friends with children into your home. ROAD DAWG

CAKE DANCE

OPEN DAILY Recreational & Medical

1755 Lincoln Avenue Steamboat Springs, CO On the Free Bus Route

970-870-2941

www.GoldenLeaf.co For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Libra

September 23 - October 23

No matter what anyone says, slowly incorporating your Halloween costume accessories into your everyday outfits is totally acceptable.

Scorpio

October 24 - November 21

Though everyone is very supportive that you are motivated about becoming a household name, sneaking into grocery stores in the middle of the night to glue your picture and personal information on the back of milk cartons may not be appropriate to some people.

Sagittarius

November 22 - December 21

All the questions will soon be answered, including where that noise is coming from in your bathroom, who has been eating all your canned soup and why it always feels like your foot is being licked when you are sleeping.

Capricorn

December 22 - January 19

When you were told to choose your words wisely, that didn't mean anyone expected you to speak only in proverbs, especially because you only know a few and they are not the type of sayings that are interchangeable for every occasion.

Aquarius

January 20 - February 18

You tried to adult this year by going to the doctor and getting a dreaded influenza shot. Ironically, you wouldn’t have goten the flu in the first place if that snot covered kid sitting next to you in the waiting room didn’t sneeze in your face. And to top it all off, the doctor didn’t even give you a lollipop.

Pisces

February 19 - March 20

Mothers do not give birth to morons just to piss you off, sometimes it just happens that a wonderful and intelligent woman has a dumb ass kid and there is nothing she can do to change it.


Valley Voice

November 2019

Go see who’s knocking on the back door! They might have some fruit cake.

By Matt Scharf

Thanksgiving 1621

27


28

November 2019

Valley Voice

The Valley Voice is for those who live here and for those who wish they did.

A FREE Monthly Publication

Advertising in the Valley Voice gives you a whole month of exposure in Routt County! Call Today! Who reads the Valley Voice? •A well-educated population. Almost 60% of the readership has a bachelor’s degree or better. This means to you that a display ad can be designed to easily reach your target customer.

•Each copy of the Valley Voice is read on average by 2.3 persons. Your ad will be seen by more people than it would in any single daily publication over a period of 30 days. This means to you that your advertising will be seen more people who buy, therefore increasing its economic effectiveness.

•Households with high disposable incomes. About 50% of the Valley Voices’ readership have household incomes of $75,000 or more. This means to you that your ad reaches those that have the capacity to purchase what you are offering. •About 60% are home owners. This means to you that a Valley Voice ad reaches folks most likely interested in buying the goods or services you are offering. FREE

anaged llc

a member m July 2015

. Issue 4.7

Creek ayden Oak Springs H at bo m ea St

Single/Actual Size Ad Name

Ad size

Per Issue

Single

3.1667” x 2.625”

$ 100.

Double Vertical

3.1677” x 5.5”

$ 200.

Triple Vertical

3.1677” x 8.375”

$ 300.

Quad Vertical

3.1677” x 11.25”

$ 400.

Double Horizontal 6.5833” x 2.625”

$ 200.

Four Squared

6.5833” x 5.5”

$ 400.

Triple Horiz.

10” x 2.625”

$ 300.

Half Page Vertical 3.1677” x 8.375”

$ 600.

Half Page Horiz.

10” x 5.5”

$ 600.

Full Page

10” x 11.25”

$ 1200.

Advertising Display Sizes & Rates for the Valley Voice

Call Today! Discounts Available!

Who comes up with this stuff?!

Yampa

Contact Matt Scharf at mattscharf1@gmail.com or at valleyvoicesales@gmail.com For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Profile for Valley Voice Steamboat

Valley Voice November 2019  

Steamboat Springs, Colorado

Valley Voice November 2019  

Steamboat Springs, Colorado

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