Valley Voice May 2018

Page 1

May 2018 . Issue 7.5


a member managed llc

Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa

Sarah White-Crane Photo courtesy of the Steamboat Springs Arts Council


May 2018

Valley Voice

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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

May 2018


Contents Mud Season Page 4 By Matt Scharf

Real-life last minute plot twists… Page 4

Whatever Floats Your ‘Boat

Page 5

Soil 101: Part 2

Page 6

Calling All Junior Naturalists

Page 7


How to Live Your Motorcycle Dream

Page 8

Win & get in playoff scenarios…

Steamboat’s Traffic Counts

Page 9

Kendrick Lamar breaking the mold and winning a Pulitzer…

They Were Also Heroes: Hiroshima

Page 10

Calendar of Events

Page 17

Shorts weather…

First Friday Artwalk

Page 18

Mr. Helpful’s Commencement Speech

Page 19

Elementary school plays. What they lack in skill and cohesion they more than make up for in earnestness and energy…

By Dagny McKinley By Karen Vail

By Mike Loots

By Joel Mayne

By Scott L. Ford

Business Manager:

Scott Ford

Sales: Eric Kemper Event Calendar: Eric Kemper Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2017 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voive.

Official Fine Print

Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements.

Obstinate drunks…

Structure/ Policy/ Procedures All Matter By Scott L. Ford

Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf

By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield By Eric Kemper

By Wina Procyzyn

By Mr. Helpful M.D.

Rocky Hockey Page 20 By Eric Kemper

Understanding the 4% Withdrawl Rate By Scott L. Ford

Page 21

Burning Man Page 22 By Francis Conlon

Welcome to Driver’s Hell By Eric Kemper

Page 22

Vitamins? Page 23 By Monica Yager

Living the Full Life By Shaney McCoy


Page 24

The Escapee Page 25

Smokey lieshadow… Summer construction season. Nothing safer than taking the only road into the valley and choking it down to a single lane that is sometimes open…

Game 7’s…

Well-made comic movie story arcs…. Say What?... “Our country is very divided today, and I’m an important part of that? “How was your weekend? Uneventful, Avoided JAIL and the Emergency Room! “My name is not next?”

Never Miss an Issue! Go Old School!

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Yepelloscopes Page 26

Send payment to: Valley Voice, llc P.O. Box 770743 Steamboat Springs, CO 80477

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Comics Page 27


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The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat’s Valley Voice. Direct all correspondence, articles, editorials or advertisements to the address below. The author’s signature and phone number must accompany letters to the editor. Names will be withheld upon request (at the discretion of the publisher). Submission is no guarantee of publication.

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Sports and Summer Camp Registration Physicals.

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An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.—Mae West


May 2018

Valley Voice

Valley Voice

Mud Season By Matt Scharf

Ahh, the beauty of mud season is upon us, but only for a short while. For some locals, it is the best time of the year. The town opens up to easier parking, easier shopping and overall it is more pleasant to be here. Some locals bolt to the desert or other far off adventures, which leaves the town a little quieter still.

What I also notice in mud season, other than Routt County bliss, is that all the locals seem to come out of the woodwork. You see more of the WZ plates with low numbers along with all the VXAs and VXBs. It’s a reminder of days gone by – you knew who lived here. A wink and a nod would acknowledge your connection just by your license plate. I see more “How ya’ been?” conversations than any time of the year. Every aisle at the grocery store is filled with friendly banter and laughter. It’s a great time to be here. Another great reason to be here in May is that Cabaret’s “Whatever Floats Your ‘Boat” is happening at the Chief Theater on May 10, 11, and 12. This should not be missed. It is Steamboat’s highlight of local talent with music and laughter. I’ve been many times. It’s great. Also, in the column to your right, Council Voices, Scott Ford keeps us up to date in the world of City Council. In the second installment, Scott explains why it so important to be involved in city structure, policy and procedures. Please don’t miss the Bonnifield Files article about a local, Yoko Ondrejka, telling her story about her family surviving the Hiroshima Bomb in 1945. It is fascinating to read about what people endured during the Second World War. Complaining about the Core Trail seems quite trivial compared. Please read on and enjoy. We could not produce this magazine without our contributors. Thank you.

Council Voices

Structure/ Policy/Procedures All Matter By Scott L. Ford Council Member at Large

The City of Steamboat Springs is structured as a Council-Manager Government as opposed to a Mayor-Council Government. Under the Council-Manager Government structure the City Council appoints a professional city manager to handle administrative tasks on a day-to-day basis. Under this structure, City Council, and specifically individual members of council must avoid telling city staff what to do. Conversely, the City Manager must avoid legislative policy issues. The City Manager can advise but cannot tell City Council what to do and should not lobby individual council members. If friction occurs between council and the city manager, it is typically because they have stepped into each other’s “sand-box”. From my perspective, the current City Council and City Manager understand their respective roles and responsibilities very well. The City of Steamboat Springs does not have a Mayor. There is a Council President who is elected by a majority of City Council members for a two-year term. As Council President they are recognized as the head of City Government for all ceremonial and legal purposes. They have the same rights as other council members to speak and vote. There is also a Council Pro Tem who is elected by a majority of City Council for a two-year term. The Pro Tem serves as Council President on a temporary basis if the President is absent or needs to recuse themselves on an issue. The President of Council, and on occasion the Council Pro Tem, have the challenge of running a well-organized and efficient council meeting. This is not an easy task and it requires an exceptional level of interpersonal and political astuteness. From my perspective, this Council is as effective as it is because Jason Lacy, in the capacity of President, and Kathi Meyer, as President Pro Tem do a great job.

Is it your turn?

By the City Charter, council must meet at least once each month as a regular meeting. The council can set the dates and times of its meeting(s). Currently council has its regular meetings scheduled for the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. Any two members of council or the city manager can call for a Special Meeting provided 72-hour notice is given to the public. In my tenure on council I can only recall two Special Meetings. The Charter provides for the possibility of an Emergency Meeting not requiring 72-hour notice if the meeting is for the preservation of public health, welfare, peace, safety or property. Maximum practical notice shall be given to the public. In my tenure there has been no need for an Emergency Meeting. Most times when City Council meets it is acting in the capacity of a legislative body with the authority to adopt Ordinances, Resolutions, Motions and make Proclamations. Sometimes questions arise about when to use an ordinance as opposed to a resolution or a motion and what is the purpose of proclamations. Here is how I have organized them in my mind. • An ordinance is a city law. The City Council exercises its legislative authority in the form of ordinances, which are usually used to add, amend, or repeal sections of the Steamboat Springs Municipal or Development Code and formally authorize spending. It takes two readings of an ordinance to become law. • Resolutions are typically administrative in nature. Resolutions are decisions normally associated with the implementation requirements of city ordinances. • Motions are less formal than ordinances and resolutions. Motions can be used to express an opinion, adopt or establish a policy, or direct further action. • A Proclamation is an affirmative public statement made by the City Council and does not require a vote of council. On occasion the role and responsibility of City Council changes. Most often this occurs when council is hearing a planning item. When this occurs, council’s role is not legislative/policy but is quasi-judicial. In this capacity council must follow stricter procedural requirements and make decisions based on a finding of facts. Quasi-judicial action made by City Council may be appealed to a court of law. On occasion City Council acts as a licensing or development authority board. This role is very different from its role as a legislative body. It is the same seven people as council but acting in an entirely different capacity. To recognize this different capacity, council adjourns and then reconvenes as the appropriate authority. Separate agenda and minutes are kept. Currently council fulfills the role of three authorities: • Liquor • Marijuana • Urban Renewal The opinions expressed in this column are my own and may not be reflective of the opinions of other City Council members.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

May 2018

Art in the ‘Boat

Mon.-Fri. 9-6 Sat. 9-5 Sun. 11-3

Whatever Floats Your ‘Boat

Happy Mother’s Day!

By Dagny McKinley

Controversy combined with humor is what marks Cabaret, a 35-year tradition put on by the Steamboat Springs Arts Council. Cabaret will take place at the Chief Theater May 10, 11 & 12 with a 6:00 p.m. show and a 9:00 p.m. show. Both General Admission tickets and VIP tickets are available. VIPs get the added benefits of early seating, a drink ticket and free apps. The theme of Cabaret is often as irreverent as the skits. When Co-Director, Ryan Fleming was asked to explain this year’s theme, he responded “That is too filthy for me to write even for the Valley Voice.” If that isn’t reason enough to see the show, I don’t know what is. With a nod to the River Queen, Whatever Floats Your Boat, was unanimously approved (by a party of one) as this year’s theme for Cabaret. Cabaret is a live, comedic, never politically correct performance sharing our town’s local talent. This event is also one of the biggest fundraisers for the Steamboat Springs Arts Council, providing funds to continue advocacy, education and community programs in the Yampa Valley. At Cabaret, locals work together to create skits, songs and dances that good heartedly make fun of local events and issues, including ski town shenanigans, construction woes and who knows. This year’s directors are a couple of well known names in comedy and acting, Scott Parker, Executive Director of the Chief Theater and Ryan Fleming. Surprisingly, last year was Ryan’s first year being involved with Cabaret. He had a song idea he was going to do for the Super Fun Steamboat show. He collaborated with Kris Hammond who recommended the song for Cabaret. The song was “I Drunk Everywhere,” a take on Johnny Cash’s “I’ve Been Everywhere.” The song highlighted some of the bars and restaurants both current and past in Steamboat Springs. Ryan’s passion is to entertain and “there is not a better venue than the Chief and no better event than Cabaret to do that,” he said. Ryan had so much fun last year that, when he found out there was an opportunity to direct this year, he took it.


In Central Park Plaza


Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. -Kinky Friedman

“She’s working Tomorrow!”

Ryan asked Scott Parker to join in, not just because of his talent, but because of his past experience with Cabaret. Scott got involved with Cabaret in 2000 after years of people telling him that Cabaret was THE event to be part of each year! Scott was Co-Director and Producer with Katy Rumley from 2002-2007. When she and Paula Salky “retired” last year, he wanted to make sure Cabaret stayed in good hands. Scott and Ryan have worked together on other projects, but nothing on the scale of Cabaret. “I believe we are up for the challenge,” said Ryan. For anyone who knows anything about Cabaret, it’s nothing if not unpredictable. Part of the reason was rehearsals used to take place the week before the show. This year rehearsals began much earlier, with ideas and concepts fleshed out more fully. Facebook and email are giving the performers the opportunity to get started more than a month before the show. Ryan and Scott feel that more rehearsals will make the experience less stressful for the cast and a better experience for performers and audience. Another exciting feature for performers is they have the opportunity to be in skits beyond the ones they write. “Everyone is buying into the process,” said Scott. “Our cast and crew are top notch this year.” So far rehearsals have been filled with the laughter and camaraderie of strangers working together. Ryan’s favorite skit so far is Yampavore. When asked why, he responds playfully, “Come and see it and you will know why.” Scott seconds the choice hinting, “Watch out for the Yampavores!!!” A couple more to watch out for include #HIMTOO? and Drunk History. Buying a ticket to Cabaret supports the volunteer actors who put on the performance, supports the Arts Council and is, according to Ryan, “the most entertaining fundraiser in the valley and the hottest ticket in town. You will laugh out loud and love every minute.” Besides, said Scott, “You are NOT a true local until you have attended or participated in this show!” Poking fun in this laid back, relaxed mountain town has never been so fun.

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Nothing beats a live performance. Nothing.—Jonathan Demme


May 2018

Valley Voice

‘Boat Almanac

Soil 101: Part 2 By Karen Vail

Pasque flower Pulsatilla patens sup multifida Earth’s natural internet; the good and the bad! Improved drought tolerance and disease resistance in plants! Nematode lassoing fungi! This sounds like fun! This is all about soil. Last month’s article introducing the basics of soil (a little dry, I know) was a lead-in to this month’s chapter on the living parts of soil. Only in recent years have we discovered the importance of microbes to our human health; in our gut, on our skin, etc. Plants also rely on a variety of fungi, bacteria and other microbes for health and defense. According to the Human Microbiome Project, over 10,000 species of microorganisms live in and on the human body. Plant scientists have found that a typical soil sample contains more than 30,000 varieties of microbes. (“Fighting Microbes with Microbes” Amy Coombs, January 1, 2013) Probably the most important finding is how plants share information through the soil via an extensive fungal network; Earth’s natural internet. According to BBC Earth (Nic Fleming, November 11, 2014) around ninety percent of land plants are in a mutually beneficial relationship with fungi creating the mycorrhizal network. Mycorrhiza

is typically a beneficial symbiosis between a fungus and a plant root where the fungus forages nutrients from the soil, which are then shared with the plant, and the plant exchanges its carbon energy. The fungal network is vast and has been found to link plants of the same and different species. The importance of this network cannot be underestimated as the fungal network influences the survival, growth, physiology, health, competitive behavior and behavior of plants in the network. Other than the sharing of food, fungal networks also boost their host plant’s immune systems. When the fungus colonizes the roots it triggers the production of defense-related chemicals. These chemical defenses can be spread through the fungal network triggering other plants to hone their own defenses. A study in 2013 on broad beans showed that the beans that were not being attacked by hungry aphids, but were connected via mycorrhiza to plants that were being sucked dry by hungry aphids, activated their anti-aphid defenses. Those plants without the fungal connections did not. Suzanne Simard, an early pioneer in the study of these networks, (check out her TED Talk on August 30, 2016 “How Trees Talk” and her 2011 documentary “Do Trees Communicate?”) believes large trees help out small, younger trees using the fungal network. In early studies she found that shaded trees received more carbon from larger donor trees. Think of the consequences for today’s logging, farming and gardening! By maintaining soil structure to form mycorrhizal networks, and leaving vital “donor” trees and plants, the benefits of interconnectedness would increase crop yield, make plants more tolerant of drought, lessen the use of chemicals and improve soils where plants had previously struggled to grow. Just like the human internet, the fungal internet has a dark side. Many plants that lack chlorophyll, and the ability to make their own energy, “steal” food from the fungal network. Other plants don’t like to compete with neighbors for food, water and light, so they send chemicals that harm their unwanted guests. This is called allelopathy and is common in several trees and weeds (that’s

Spring Beauty - Claytonia lanceolate For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

why those nasty knapweeds get such a foothold!). The University of Florida Extension is researching the affects of allelopathic plants on weed suppression and has some interesting and encouraging results (http://edis.ifas. Another case of sneaky plants taking advantage of the fungal network shows spotted knapweed, slender wild oat and soft brome can all change the fungal make up of the soil to their benefit. They favor the growth of fungus to certain other plant species that they can target with toxins. Another ominous exploitation comes from insect pests picking up on plant signals attracting friendly bacteria and fungi to their roots. They possibly hone in on these for a tasty plant root treat. Nematodes are microscopic roundworms living in abundance in the soil. The good nematodes help break down organic matter, prey on bacteria, algae and other soil animals. The bad guys attack plants and can spread plant viruses and can cause severe crop losses. In the soil is a fungus just waiting for these little guys to come along. Here little nematode! I have a treat for you. Nematode trapping fungi are carnivorous fungi with a variety of structures and chemicals enabling them to capture and consume nematodes. The coolest method is the fungal lasso! The fungus forms rings and when the nematode swims through a loop the ring suddenly fills with water trapping the nematode. Within 24 hours more fungal threads form inside the loop and begin digesting the nematode. Woohoo! One last thing to mention before we move onto other less morbid things comes from fungus expert Paul Stamets. He coined the term “Earth’s natural network” in the 70’s and discussed his ideas in a fascinating TED talk in 2008. Hmm, bacteria in soil? Yep, bacteria are the most numerous and varied of soil organisms. In a gram of soil you can find a few hundred million to three billion! The top 6 to 8 inches of soil may contain 200 to 2 tons of living bacteria per acre (“Start with the Soil”, Grace Gershuny, c1993). Most bacteria are decomposers, converting energy in organic matter to forms useful to the other organisms in the soil food web. Many bacterial decomposers can

Valley Voice

May 2018



Calling All Junior Naturalists By Mike Loots

Mountain bluebells - Mertensia brevistyla

Yampatika Offers New Camp to Develop Junior Naturalists June 18-22, 2018 Ages 13-15 Would your teenager make an awesome Yampatika naturalist? Does he/she want to develop life skills to enhance career prospects? New this year, Yampatika is offering a summer camp week for youth aged 13 to 15 to develop skills in environmental education and camp counselling by training to be Junior Naturalists.


also break down pesticides and pollutants. Decomposing bacteria can either immobilize and/or retain nutrients in their cells, preventing the loss of nutrients, such as nitrogen, from the root zone. Other bacteria form very important mutualasitic partnerships with plants. Maybe you have noticed little bumps on the roots of your beans or peas or other legumes. This is where the beneficial rhizobia bacteria, which fix atmospheric nitrogen, live. Slicing open one of these nodules reveals a bright pink or red center if the bacteria are alive and kickin’. Nitrogen is held in these nodules and made available to the plant, and when the plant dies the nitrogen is released into the soil. Growing legumes is a win-win for soil fertility! Yet another group of bacteria are nasty pathogens. And the last group of bacteria obtain their energy from elemental nitrogen, sulfur, nitrogen or hydrogen instead of from organic carbon compounds. Plants cannot take up certain forms of these chemicals. Bacteria transform these compounds into forms available for plants to take up. Certain bacteria form “biological glue” binding soil particles together. Having stable soil aggregates (remember that term form the last article?) improves water movement and the waterholding capacity of soil. Actinomycets are a large group of bacteria that grow like fungi. When you work in the soil and smell that wonderful “earthy” aroma you can thank actinomycetes. Also thank them for their incredible role in decomposing organic matter, especially the really hard to decompose compounds like chitin and cellulose, and forming rich humus. Manure is especially rich in actinomycetes making it a great addition to a compost pile in modest amounts.

“We are super excited to offer up our fist ‘Junior Naturalist’ trainings this summer,” said Mike Loots, Yampatika’s Camp Director. “For the first time ever, we are offering a Junior Naturalist Program for youth who have what it takes to teach our little tykes about the wild, natural world.” Junior Naturalists will be expected to complete a weeklong training in leadership, group management, teaching methods, ecology, Leave no Trace skills and risk management. Following this intensive training, participants will be asked to serve as intern staff members for two weeks of camp for 5 to 7year-olds.

Protozoa are single-celled animals feeding primarily on bacteria, releasing the excess nitrogen back into the soil, and also eat other protozoa, organic matter and sometimes fungi. This brings us to the vampyrellids, a fungus feeding amoeba. They drill perfectly round holes through the fungal cell wall; much like the puncture marks after Dracula has visited. After producing enzymes to dissolve the fungal cell wall the amoeba sucks dry the cell contents. Last, but not least, are the arthropods; the jointed (arthros) legged (podos) bugs. Ranging from microscopic to several inches they include springtails, beetles and ants (insects), sowbugs, (crustaceans like lobsters!), spiders and mites (arachnids) and centipedes and millipedes (myriapods). They are generally grouped as shredders, predators, herbivores and fungal feeders. Check out the USDA Natural Resource Conservation Service “Soils” webpages for more detailed information on the whole soil food web. There is a LOT there! So, some final words to support our soil buddies. No chemicals, no tilling, keep your soil covered with plants (whether growing or residue), diversify your soil by planting a diversity of crops, and learn to live with imperfections and a little messiness. Get out there and appreciate the incredible life under your feet! See you on the trails (and in the garden!).

In addition, Junior Naturalists will be awarded the opportunity to participate in Yampatika’s epic summer backpacking trip (July 30 to August 5) in the White River National Forest, at a discounted rate. The idea behind the Junior Naturalist program is creating the next generation of highly-motivated, highly-qualified outdoor leaders. Spending a week fully immersed in wilderness travel provides the perfect platform for developing these skill sets. “Participating teenagers will have an opportunity to help inspire the next generation of environmental stewards through education, while pushing their own outdoor skills to the next level,” said Loots. “What a perfect place to do this in Steamboat Springs.” This camp costs $250 for the week. Contact Yampatika to learn more: or call (970) 871-9151.

About Yampatika Yampatika inspires environmental stewardship through education and annually connects 20,000+ people to nature with these efforts. Our goal is to deliver environmental learning opportunities that serve the children and adults of Northwest Colorado. Established in 1992 as the “Yampatika Outdoor Awareness Association,” Yampatika continues to be the only non-profit organization that offers a continuum of environmental educational services to children and adults ranging from pre-K to senior citizens in Routt, Moffat and Jackson Counties. Media contact: Mike Loots, Camp Director, Yampatika call 970 871 9151 or email

Consider what each soil will bear, and what each refuses.—Virgil


May 2018

Valley Voice Beer of the Month:

Cold enough for the Yukon Cornelius

Bonfire Brewing

Yummy Beer!

Mr. Motorhead

How to Live Your Motorcycle Dream By Joel Mayne


Thursday - Saturday: 10am - 11pm Sunday - Wednesday: 10am - 10pm

We all have dreams inside our heads. Perhaps you’ve dreamed of joining the Cirque Soleil, playing the drums at Lollapalooza, pirouetting for Disney on Ice, singing Journey Songs on the teevee, flying like Peter Pan, spending a sweaty, sleepless night alone with Brittany Spears or Justin Bieber … (fill in the blank)

“One down four up. right?”

I’ve been systematically crossing things off of my Dream List for decades. I make a point of asking people, as I bounce around the country and the world on various motorcycles, “How’s your dream list coming?” The Dream List is an essential tool in making everything O.K. when the day comes to take your journey to God, Buddha, Allah, or the worms. Do you want to lie there staring at the rubber tubes protruding from your body and reflect on what you didn’t do? Excuses are triple word score weak at that point in time. When the students in my motorcycles classes introduce themselves on the first night it’s very common to hear, “I’ve always wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle, but….” And then the list of valid reasons comes along: kids, dogs, motos were strictly forbidden in their family, busy at work, never quite had the money…it’s endless. We are all enslaved to some degree by pressures of chasing the American Dream of Wealth and Material Success.

Pet Allergies

Did you know your dog or cat can suffer from seasonal allergies and asthma just as you do?

Signs to look for: • Increased scratching or licking of skin, ears or paws. • Red, smelly, scabbed skin or ears. • Red, runny eyes, rubbing their face. • Sneezing or “reverse sneezing” and wheezing.

Your fuzzy family members can also spend the spring season feeling miserable thanks to pollens and other environmental allergens.

The things we’re supposed to do are shoved in our faces just as soon as we can understand language. But here’s the deal: If you have a personal moto dream, there is a systematic way you can cross it off your list this summer. I can help with this. The Old School Way Learning to ride hasn’t always been such a blueprinted process. Many riders have harrowing stories of their unconventional motorcycle riding “lessons.” I received my first experience in operating the handlebar controls

sitting in front of my father on the gas tank of a 750. He clicked the foot shifter because my leg wasn’t long enough to reach it. I was hooked and I desperately wanted my own machine. We had a perpetually rotating collection of various dirt bikes that Pops fixed and sold as a side business, but they were WAY too big. Every time I begged for a dirt bike he would point to the gaggle and say simply, “You show me you can ride one and we’ll talk about getting you something of your own.” It was a very lightly supervised crash course. Eventually, after much labor as world’s smallest construction site trash boy at 1$ per hour, I was able to pay for half of a $300.00 used YZ 80. It became my life. I paid attention to nothing else for 3 years. I hear similar stories every day at work, but times have changed. A Better Way in One Weekend These days there’s a fun, fast and safe way to learn. It’s called The Motorcycle Safety Foundation Basic Rider Course, and it’s an intensive, weekend long, class that will enable you to learn to ride well enough to earn a

Believer. If your pet keeps you awake at night because he/she is uncomfortable, see your Veterinarian! 102 Anglers Drive

970-879-5273 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

It will be only a few weeks before the summer season is upon us. In addition to warmer days, the free concerts series and back-yard BBQs, there will be some whining about traffic. This month I am going to look at traffic by the numbers. The reality is that there is essentially only one road (US Hwy. 40) connecting the east side of town to the west side of town. This segment of US Hwy from Walton Creek Road on the East to Elk River Road on the west is 7.7 miles. As Hwy 40 passes through town it is called Lincoln Avenue. Annual Average Daily Traffic (AADT) is the term used to show the average traffic volume; it includes motorcycles to semi-trailer trucks.

Intersection Elk River Road / Hwy 40 / East Bound Elk River Road / Hwy 40 / West Bound

The Easy Way-Moto Training Light

23,000 22,000

730 710

Pine Grove Road / Hwy 40 / East Bound Pine Grove Road / Hwy 40 / West Bound

22,000 24,000

680 770

Source: Colorado Department of Transportation

Steamboat Springs / 7th & Lincoln

Hourly Traffic Counts in Both Directions Taken on 8/11/2015 2,500

4 AM

7 AM

8 AM

9 AM

3 PM

4 PM

5 PM

1 PM

2 PM

6 PM

7 PM

8 PM

9 PM








10 AM 11 AM NOON


6 AM


5 AM


3 AM


2 AM


1 AM











A whole weekend class including the use of a motorcycle costs about half the price of an I-phone or that optimistically sized pair of designer jeans. Get your Dream list together, and if riding a motorcycle is on it, come see me and we’ll cross that one off. Be an icon, not a slave on the treadmill following orders from that electronic machine in your pocket.

AADT Trucks 17,000 550 11,000 500

7th / Lincoln Ave. /East Bound 7th / Lincoln Ave. /West Bound



Proudly supporting alternative modalities in medicine and media.

Colo. Dept. of Transportation Traffic Data for 2016

Without fail, something magic occurs and suddenly this diverse group of people forms a great team with a common goal. The rest of life melts away and we are riding motorcycles together. This often forms long-term riding partners long after the class is completed. Yes, it’s a lot to learn. It’s intense and it’s fun.

If you want a less intense sampler, and just want to ride off-road when you’re camping or on your own land, I teach a one-day dirt-bike class which occurs on private property. Often, groups of three friends will do this together. We cover controls, posture, using the clutch, shifting, stopping, counterbalancing, riding over small obstacles and riding on hills. It’s fun, less intense and there is no test. This class is a great sampler and a fun way to explore your moto curiosity.

Go Figure? is sponsored by Rocky Mountain Remedies

The Intersection of Pine Grove Road and Hwy 40 is one of the busiest intersection in all of Northwest Colorado with an average of over 46,000 vehicles passing through the intersections daily. The hourly traffic is not evenly dispersed throughout the day.


One of the greatest things about teaching the Basic Rider Course all these years has been watching the solidarity that develops in each class. You don’t often see massage therapists, judges, ranchers, school teachers, law enforcement officers, bartenders, county managers, lawyers, outlaws, medical farmers, and kid wranglers enjoying a weekend together. It’s very rewarding to see this menagerie of people on motorcycles, smiling, and making amazing improvements in skill whilst cheering each other on.

By Scott L. Ford


Everyone is welcome. As an instructor, I’ve had riders with quite a bit of experience take the class in a pact with a friend or lover with no experience. Often, starting with no experience produces amazing riders with no bad habits. Everyone is treated equally, and I adjust feedback to his or her personal needs. I limit my class to 5-6 students so I am able to fine tune each exercise and offer individual tips on each skill-set. Every exercise is first explained and then demonstrated by an instructor on a motorcycle before you do it.

Steamboat Springs Area by the Numbers/ Traffic Counts


Certified “Ridercoach” Instructors like myself, who have completed a long and extremely rigorous training program, offer the course nationally. A good instructor is essential, but the magic is in the curriculum and the large number of carefully crafted riding exercises. Everything is covered but the emphasis is getting you a calm, well-managed start and then having you ride and improve as much as possible the rest of the weekend in a safe environment with lots of assistance.


Go Figure!?


Colorado Motorcycle Endorsement for your License. Some of the things you will learn include: Types of motorcycles and how to choose the right one for you. Demystifying the clutch, starting and stopping, proper shifting and gear selection. How you conduct a pre-ride inspection, and understand all the parts, pieces and controls of your motorcycle, how to select and fit all of your super cool safety gear, traffic strategies and riding techniques including cornering, and my personal favorite: braking.

May 2018

10 PM 11 PM

Hours of the Day

If I could marry my motorcycle, I’d roll her right up to the altar.—Flip Wilson


May 2018

Valley Voice

Bonnifield Files

They Were Also Heroes: Surviving the Nuclear Bomb at Hiroshima By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield

Yoko Ondrejka in Phippsburg remembers both humorous and tragic stories her grandmother Tadayo Yamamoto told about the bombing of Hiroshima. Several years ago, Ellen invited Yoko Ondrejka to talk to her second-grade class about the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and to teach them to fold origami cranes. Yoko did not experience the blast herself, but her mother (less than two years old at the time) and her grandmother (24) were 1.9 kilometers from the blast’s center. Earlier her grandfather Niidhi Kittaka, a tailor, was sent elsewhere to make army clothing.

On the night of August 5-6, 1945, Colonel Paul W. Tibbets piloted the Enola Gay towards its historic mission – dropping an A-Bomb on Hiroshima, Japan. In the morning, Tadayo Yamamoto and her daughter, Hiroko, were in the kitchen. Tadayo’s little sister, Yukiko, had gone outside to play with friends. Tadayo’s mother, Fueno Kittaka, was on her way to the center of Hiroshima to get a haircut. It was a normal morning. At 08:15 a.m., August 6, the Enola Gay released its bomb; 44.4 seconds later at 1,900 feet it detonated directly over the Shama Surgical Clinic. Winds moved it 800 feet from its intended target of Aioi Bridge. The margin of error made little difference. The blast destroyed 4.7 square miles of the city and killed between 70,000 and 126,000 civilians, 20,000 soldiers, and a total of 20 British, Dutch, and American prisoners of war. Sixty-nine percent of the city’s buildings were destroyed and six to seven percent of the remaining buildings were damaged.

Note: The photo is not the Hiroshima strike but it is the firestorm-cloud that engulfed the city after the bomb dropped. The fire reached its peak intensity some three hours later. This is the fire that destroyed the Yamamoto home.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

A year earlier, Tadayo took Hiroko to Okinawa to escape the coming war in Hiroshima. They returned to Hiroshima in the summer of 1945 to escape the death trap of the American invasion of Okinawa. A few months later, the peace was shattered and both mother and daughter lay on the floor unconscious. Luck was with them. The concrete divider wall between the kitchen and the rest of the house deflected much of the blast and did not tip over and crush them. Apparently, it absorbed considerable radiation. Time passed; no one was sure how much before the two regained consciousness. They needed to get out of the house. The angle of the wall deflected the blast, but fire raced from house to house. The fires were as deadly as the bomb. Tadayo picked up Hiroko and a futon mattress and started to leave. Outdoors they encountered black rain coming down. The pristine white mattress soon became black, so Tadayo put it back in the house where it burned.

Valley Voice

The debris from the blast mixed with the clouds caused a rain and dust mixture to form a radioactive black rain. Into the darkness they went, but where could they go and where were they? Everything was gone. All the familiar landmark buildings were blown away or on fire. The black rain limited the range of visibility, and fires and dead and deformed people lay everywhere. All the senses were ghastly blurred. Somehow, mother and daughter found safety, at least for the moment. Although much nearer the center of the blast, Fueno survived with only a small mark on her ankle. Despite confusion and chaos, the family found each other. Fueno appeared alright, but within a few days her comb was filled with hair. She was slowly and painfully dying of radiation poisoning. In November, Fueno died attempting to vomit internal organs. It was slow and terrible death. No one knew for sure what happened to Yukiko. Sometime later Tadayo located a badly burned child and friend of Yukiko who thought she had gone to the school playground. Tadayo went there and found a skeleton. Never absolutely positive, the pile of unidentified bones was the only remains of the loved sister Amazingly, the relief response was quick and reasonably well organized. Sadly, thousands of good Samaritans rushed to help and received radiation poisoning that in time took their lives. No medical knowledge of how to treat radiation victims, or how to prevent radiation sickness existed at that time. Removing debris without proper equipment endangered the workers. The killing from the Atomic Bomb went on for years and years. The dead had to be buried to prevent further disaster from disease. Mass graves were quickly dug and filled; however, an accurate record of the locations was not filed. Decades later, graves were uncovered, usually by unsuspecting building contractors digging foundations.

May 2018

Radiation contaminated the city’s food supply. Unknown numbers of unsuspecting people, who otherwise would have survived, ate contaminated food. However, the Japanese Army quickly brought uncontaminated food into the city. Care of victims received top billing. In the strange way that information is passed without obvious lines of communications, people found their way to food distribution centers. Tadayo recalled how she dreaded taking little Hiroko through the decaying bodies along the way to receive rations of food for her small family. Despite the devastating blast, rats multiplied and raced among the dead. Yet, she had to make the daily trip for food passing the horrors of the remains of people hanging in trees or floating in ponds and streams. Somehow, she remained sane. Many people did not.


Many survived the blast only to develop cancer years later – hibakusha, bomb-affected people. Sadako Sasaki, two years old when the bomb exploded 1.6 kilometers from her home, was blown out of a window. She appeared unhurt when her mother found her. Caught in the chaos her mother picked her up and along with the grandmother began going somewhere, not knowing where. Caught in the Black Rain grandmother started back to the house. She was never seen again.

Within a month of bombing Hiroshima, World War II ended; however, the suffering remained. Recovery began. Japan had a deep respect for education, but most school buildings within the city were either destroyed or condemned. Yet, “normal” meant schools. Conventional school buildings were replaced with “Blue Sky classrooms.” Students gathered in an open area where the teacher stood before them to instruct. There were no walls, windows, or roof – just blue sky and a desire for something normal. Soon crude desks were fashioned for students. At lunch time, some students might have a small amount of food, others got a drink of water to reduce their hunger, and others simply folded their arms on the desk top and lay their head down pretending to sleep. Change came. During the Great Depression, the United States began hot lunch programs to feed hungry students. Occupation troops knew the benefit of the school hot lunch program. The program was adapted for Japan and Hiroshima’s “Blue Sky” Schools offered hot lunches. Now hungry students had a picnic under the sky.

Yoko points out the intricate hand work on this obi or sash for a traditional Japanese kimono. The bright pink obi, very old and fragile, is for a small girl.

Continued on next page...

Since Auschwitz, we know what man is capable of. And since Hiroshima, we know what is at stake.—Victor Frankl


May 2018

Valley Voice

In time, Hiroshima rebuilt into a modern city. Hiroko grew up, married, and had a daughter named Yoko. Yoko grew to adulthood wanting to see the horizon and big snowcapped mountains. She longed to see and experience wildlife. Pursuing her dream, she worked two jobs at a time, saved her money, and taught herself English – at least enough to get the minimum score on tests. Then came the letter saying “accepted in a wildlife program” at the college in Powell, Wyoming. Miracles do happen.

Sadako grew and became a member of her school’s relay team. In November 1954, she developed swelling on her neck and behind her ears. By January, the swelling spread to her legs. She was admitted to the hospital with atomic disease where her condition worsened. In August, she and Kiyo became roommates and a local high school club brought them a collection of paper cranes. Sadako’s father Shigeo explained the legend. A person who made a thousand cranes would be cured. She decided to make the cranes. Time she had, paper she did not. She scrounged paper from anywhere she could, and her close friend Chizuko Hamamoto brought paper. Legend holds she made the first 1000 cranes and sent them to many people. Sadako started on the second thousand, but only folded 644 cranes before she died.

After graduation, Yoko moved to Walden, Colorado, working as a wildlife volunteer for the National Forest. Here she met her husband. He took a position in the Forest Service at Yampa. The couple moved to Phippsburg, and for over twenty years they have been a credit to the community.

On each crane she wrote, “I will write Peace on your wings, and you will fly all over the world.” On October 25, 1955, Sadako sipped a little tea, told her family, “It was good. Thank you,” and passed on.

Above: Yoko stands in front of the Tower of 1000 Cranes in the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park which honors Sadako Sasaki. It features cranes folded by people from around the world. Many years later, Yoko’s daughter, Charell, and her third grade classmates folded 1,000 cranes and sent them to the memorial. Right: Yoko stands in front of the marker and the bombed out building at the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park.

Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park

Above: Tadayo Yamamoto (front) was 24 years old when the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. She held her young daughter, Hiroko Veda, in her arms at the time.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

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Fish Creek

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Tamarack Drive


Amethyst Drive

Hill Top Parkway


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Ski Time Square

E. Maple Street


Memorial Park Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Strawberry Hot Springs

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Valley Voice

May 2018




Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Salsa Lessons). FREE.

Dart League 6:30PM @ The V

MONDAY 8 Ball Tournament 6:30PM @ The V TUESDAY Pool League 6:30PM @ The V Two-Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Country Dance Lessons). FREE.

Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE THURSDAY Live Band Karaoke/ Schmiggity Jam 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot. FREE

Come by Johnny B. Good’s Steamboat’s Classic Diner

To submit your free events or calendar information e-mail to: Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month. TUESDAY MAY 1


Register Now for Summer Pool League at The V League Starts June 5

International Migratory Bird Day Celebration 9AM–Noon @ Bud Werner Memorial Library. FREE Hayden Cog Run 10AM @ Hayden Town Park

It’s NO PAY MAY at Schmiggity’s Locals appreciation month City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall Wild Films: 5 awardwinning shorts from the International Wildlife Film Festival 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events WEDNESDAY MAY 2 Dance on Film: “Strike a Pose” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events THURSDAY MAY 3 Ute Indian Pow Wow Dance Performance and Presentation 5PM & 6PM @ SSHS Auditorium. FREE FRIDAY MAY 4


Early Bird Breakfast Special

Blue Plate Dinner Special after 4pm


Every Day 7am until 9am


Homemade Pie Happy Hour

3 pm - 5 pm Daily - $1.99 a slice

Burger of the Day $8.99 M-F

Senior Discount & Boomer Menu Available Open 7am – 9pm Daily 738 Lincoln . Downtown Steamboat Springs

First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE. First Friday Artwalk Reception Steamboat Springs Advanced Placement Students 5PM@ Arts Depot. FREE Green Buddha 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE.

Worried Men 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. SUNDAY MAY 6 Bud Werner Memorial Library Community Yoga Practice. BYO Mats & Props 10AM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events Summer Camp Open House 2PM @ Legacy Ranch. MONDAY MAY 7 Indie Lens Pop-Up: “Served Like A Girl” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events TUESDAY MAY 8 Library Author Series: Willy Vlautin “Don’t Skip Out On Me” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE THURSDAY MAY 10 2018 Cabaret 6PM & 9PM @ Chief Theater. $35 for General or $50 for VIP www.steamboatcreates. org/events/ FRIDAY MAY 11 Coffee with Council 7:30AM @ Centennial Hall

2018 Cabaret 6PM & 9PM @ Chief Theater. $35 for General or $50 for VIP www.steamboatcreates. org/events/


Zolopht 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE.


SATURDAY MAY 12 2018 Cabaret 6PM & 9PM @ Chief Theater. $35 for General or $50 for VIP www.steamboatcreates. org/events/ SugarLeaf 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. SUNDAY MAY 13 Mother’s Day MONDAY MAY 14 Rocky Mountain Youth Corps presents an evening with historian, author and artist: John Wesley Anderson “Ute Indian Prayer Trees of the Pikes Peak Region” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events Hayden Chamber Meeting 7PM @ Yampa Valley Brewing Company, Hayden. TUESDAY MAY 15 City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall THURSDAY MAY 17 Birding by Cart at Haymaker 8AM-10AM RSVP 970-871-9151 or “Grounded,” an evening of multimedia storytelling To honor Colorado Public Lands Day 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

Wish You Were Pink 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE.

First Wildflower Hike of the Season 9AM @ Location TBD. Call/email to sign up and for more information: 970-871-9151 or info@ Bill Smith 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. MONDAY MAY 21 Free Film: “Bill Nye: Science Guy” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events TUESDAY MAY 22 City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall Free Film: “Jane” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events WEDNESDAY MAY 23 Bud Werner Memorial Library’s Foreign Film Series at the Chief “The Paris Opera” 7:00PM @ Chief Theater. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events FRIDAY MAY 25 Johnny O Band 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. SATURDAY MAY 26 A Shadow of a Jaguar 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE.

Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.—Brian Tracy


Schmac and Cheese

May 2018

Valley Voice

First Friday Artwalk May 4, 2018 5 pm - 8 pm All over downtown

821 Lincoln Ave -

! y a M y a No P at!

bo m a e t S u o Thank Y

n Buddha oul) e e r G 4 ,S ay Friday, M EE (Reggae, Funk R F 10 pm Men - Worried d to Metal) 5 y a M y a a Saturd ateful De r (G E E R F 10 pm ht 11 - Zolop k Reggae) y a M , y a Frid Roc REE (Funk 10 pm - F ugarLeaf do Jam Sauce) S 2 1 y a ra ,M Saturday EE (Feel Good Colo R F 10 pm ink ou Were P nd) Y h is W te Ba ay 18 Friday, M (Pink Floyd Tribu E E 9 pm - FR mith 19 - Bill S Jam) y a M , y a ock/ Saturd E (Funk R E R F m 10 p y O Band n n h o J 5 ay 2 Friday, M EE (Blues Rock) R 10 pm - F guar ow of a Ja d a h S A oll) , May 26 Saturday EE (Delta Rock n' R R 10 pm - F CLOSED Monday: esday o Step Tu w T : y a d s Tue ke ay: Karao Wednesd / d Karaoke n a B e iv L : Thursdagyity Jam ig m h Sc t ance Nigh D in t a L : Sunday

7 pm 9 pm 9:30 pm


FR 7 pm Oh Schmiggity!

Schmappy Hour Steamboat's ONLY Happy Hour from 7-97-9 pmDaily 1/2 Off the entire bar; $3 1/2 pound 100% Angus Beef Hot Dogs


Genesee Tickets online at or atCans All That.

CENTER FOR VISUAL ARTS 837 Lincoln Ave. | 970.846.8119 New art is “springing-up” from our creative painters and photographers. Complimentary wine with the very best in local Steamboat artwork.

HappyHours Last minute changes can and do occur - Mother Nature, illness, tour malfunction, whatever - the accuracy of this calendar is not guaranteed! 8th Street Steakhouse 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 p.m. Aurum Food & Wine 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily

McKnight’s Irish Pub 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 - 11:00 p.m. daily Off the Beaten Path After 4:00 p.m. daily

GALLERY 89 1009 Lincoln Ave. | 970.439.8196 GREGORY BLOCK “Alchemy” The marriage of science, magic, chemistry and mystery - transmuting common elements into substances of greater value captivating the human imagination.

Azteca Taqueria 4:00 - 5:00 p.m. & 8:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily Back Door Grill 4:00 - 7:00 p.m. daily & All day on Sundays

O’Neil’s Tavern and Grill 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 p.m. daily

MANGELSEN-IMAGES OF NATURE 730 Lincoln Ave 970.871.1822 Legendary nature photographer Tomas D. Mangelsen has traveled the world for over 40 years photographing the Earth’s last great wild places. 30% Off Discounts.

The BARley 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Rex’s American Grill & Bar 4:20 - 6:00 daily

Big House Burgers 4:20 - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat. & 2 - 6 Sunday

The Rusted Porch 2:00 p.m.- 6:00p.m. daily

PINE MOON FINE ART 117 9th St. | 970.879.2787 IN BLOOM, celebrating the upcoming season in oil, acrylic and watercolor paintings, glass art, fiber art, mono prints, bronze sculptures, photography and jewelry. STEAMBOAT ART MUSEUM 807 Lincoln Ave. | 970.870.1755 New inventory from your favorite local artists. Shop the Museum store this Artwalk for a special discount! W GALLERY 115 9th Street, Lincoln Ave. | 970.846.1783 W Gallery features local artist Alex Sorapuru paintings and drawings from his series “I Never Learned to Swim”. THE SKI LOCKER 941 Lincoln Avenue, #100a, 303.882.4927 The Foundry- May is Mental Health Month “Art Heals” explores the value of creativity and making art in mental health. Themes of struggle, hope, and recovery. STEAMBOAT SMOKEHOUSE 912 Lincoln Ave. | 941.321.2809 Young Bloods Col lective -May is Mental Health Month “Art Heals” explores the value of creativity and making art in mental health. Themes of struggle, hope, and recovery. THE TREAD OF PIONEERS 800 Oak Street | 970.879.2214 An Artist’s View: Cultural and Heritage Landscapes of Northwest Colorado -Local artists pay tribute to Yampa Valley heritage thru their artwork URBANE 703 Lincoln Ave. | 970.879.9169 Amy Robinson, originally from Ogden UT, has a fascination for color and how it brightens a room. She works primarily with oil on canvas.

Schmiggity-ball Sliders Cheese For those who live here and forSchmac thoseand who wish they did.

Old Town Pub 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Carl’s Tavern 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Salt and Lime 3:30 p.m.- 5:30 p.m. & 10:00 p.m.- 11:00 p.m.

Circle R Bar 4 - 6 p.m. Thurs., Fri.,Sat.

Sake 2 U 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.

Cuginos Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 - 11:00 p.m. daily

Sambi Canton 5:00 - 6:00 pm Monday - Saturday

Double ZZ BBQ 2:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Dude & Dan’s Bar and Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Late Night Happy Hour: 10:00 - 12:00 p.m. daily

Schmiggitys 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily Scratch 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Slopeside Grill 10:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m.

E3 Ranch & Chophouse Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Steamboat Smokehouse 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 to 11:30 p.m. daily:

Harwigs & L’Apogee: 5:00 - 6:30 p.m. daily

Sunpies Cajun Bistro 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Laundry 4:30 - 6p.m. Tues.-Sat.

Table 79 Foodbar 5:00 - 6:00 & 9:00 - 11:00 daily

Low Country 4:30 - 6 p.m. daily Mahogany Ridge 4:00 - 5:30 p.m. Late night happy hour: 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. daily

The Tap House Sports Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. weekdays Truffle Pig 2:00 - 5:00 p.m. daily

Mambo Italiano 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. daily

The V 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00p.m. - 12:00 a.m.

Mazzola’s Majestic Italian Diner 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Vaqueros Mexican Restaurant & Taqueria 2:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Valley Voice

May 2018

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

Mister Helpful’s Commencement Speech


It’s all about your Happiness

By Mr. Helpful, M.D.

Good afternoon to all, and congratulations to the graduating class of blah, blah, blah of the year blah blah.

Number two of the same three Ask questions to your possible partner.

The greatest human need is to love and be loved in return. Next comes breathing, the desire to be heard, puppies, kittens and baby goats, food we deem to be amazing, healthy loving orgasms, as well as peace and quiet (not necessarily in that order).

Every single one of us knows at least one person who will never shut up, never asks questions about us and only talks about what is in their tiny superficial head for hours on end. And if you don’t understand what I’m talking about: it’s you and you should know people hate you.

To find another human being and discover a connection between them and ourselves is a wonderful thing. And by this, I truly mean it is a thing to wonder about. Most often times we take our connections for granted. In the beginning we are obsessed with the connection; especially if it’s a romantic one, because a male boner or a lady boner are awesome and we want them all the time.

Asking questions to someone you want to connect with is a great way to hear their lovely voice, gain insight to their soul and find out if they are indeed romantically involved with someone else who is not currently you. Listening to them, asking follow up questions and genuinely being interested in their stories about their childhood experiences with various reptilian pets could be the foot in the door to one day seeing them naked.

But even a connection that is based in great friendship is a blessing. A trusted coworker or neighbor that understands us on a deeper level is a rare moment in time which we hope lasts for years to come. Yes, men and women can be friends, good friends, and never become intimate. With all that being said – how we have perpetuated the species is beyond me. Have you MET people?!? They are the worst. One simple cross-country trip using American airports could cure anyone of wanting to reproduce or even start conversation with a biped and their horrible brood trailing behind. Strangely enough, base attraction, something I call “The Yummy Factor,” is what keeps us reaching out to one another, locking lips and hoping that Super Happy Naked Funtime Hour happens before the end of the day. Life finds a way.

Of course, asking the right questions depends on several factors, one of which is are you actually listening or are you staring at her boobs. Pay attention people. Eyes up here. Number Two Knowing when to shut up. Honestly, this is equally important to asking questions. Telling lengthy stories about the life-saving qualities of you hair might be a great joke, but keep it short and know when to stop. The last part up there was mocking men about the boob thing – this part is for some ladies and certain men. Learn when to stop talking. Pay attention to the

body language of the person in front of you and even when you ask if you are boring them and they say no – you are, so shut up. Take a drink of something. Eat a few fries and chew longer than normal. Give the other person a chance to get a word in edge wise. PLEASE for the Love of all that is holy – just shut the hell up for 37 seconds. Number three out of three, oh, I guess this is the last one. I didn’t even realize that this came up so quickly. Wowzers, it’s number three already … where does the time go. You know, these columns are only supposed to be 1,000-ish words long or so. And here at well over 925 I’m coming to the end. Ratz. I was hoping to get to this last one. Oh well. I forgive myself for failing in this moment and offer to you the chance to forgive me as well. Wait, I am supposed to be writing a commencement speech, not the column. Ok, hang on. Shifting gears here. And in conclusion – I bid all of you a good life. You will fall in life but you will rise one more time than you fall. Until you fall for the final time. Yikes. That’s a bit dismal. True, but dismal.

Find Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read the expanded versions of this column. Up next from Mr. Helpful –I don’t want to meet your parents Karen – How and when to use your outside voice like grandma taught you.

Photo of Green Mountain Resevoir from Highway 9. Gore Range in the background.

But Mister Helpful is here at the podium of your graduation to share some guidelines that you doubtfully will hear at college, work, and certainly from your parents. Those family members in the audience might also enjoy the confirmation of information you gained over the years, but are afraid to say out loud because, of course, you could be wrong. Number One of Three – Brush your teeth and have fresh breath. Who the hell wants to connect to bad breath and an ugly set of teeth. Folks back away from a bunch of yellow, cracked toofs. We all make fun of the hillbilly character in movies and TV for a reason. The attraction level falls to nearly zero when confronted with such a situation. Anyone can have a nice body, great clothes and fabulous hair, but bad breath and an unattractive smile washes all that out the door. Interestingly enough, a great smile and fresh breath can still get a solid make out session even while in a lousy wardrobe and no hairstyle at all. Brush yer teef, freshen the breath and win the day. Side note: I am against chewing gum for fresh breath and in general. The sound, the look – just not attractive at all. Gramma always said “Don’t chew gum honey – makes ya look stupid.”

Photo by Crash Sterne. A commencement is a time of joy. It is also a time of melancholy. But then again, so is life.—Paul Tsongas


May 2018

Valley Voice

Hockey Talk

Rocky Hockey By Eric Kemper

Game at the Pepsi Center. The center of the hockey universe was here in Colorado, and the Avalanche occupied the bright spotlight in the middle. For the Cup finals that year, the Avalanche faced off against the defending Stanley Cup Champions, none other than the relocated team that used to call Colorado home, the New Jersey Devils. The Devils, as they had been when the Avs first won in 1996, were the previous season’s defending Cup Champs. They had a top scoring line of Patrick Elias, Jason Arnott & Petr Sykora, a stout defense led by Scott Stevens & Scott Niedermeyer & the goalie who would eventually pass Patrick Roy on the wins list (albeit after the game was changed to eliminate the possibility of a tie), Martin Brodeur. The Avalanche winning the President’s Trophy proved to be crucial, as the series went to seven games, with the deciding contest being played on the friendly home ice of the Pepsi Center. The Avs won, and in doing so, reached a hockey pinnacle that few teams had ever achieved. The photo of Ray Bourque lifting the Stanley Cup is iconic.

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Joe Sakic NHL Hockey first came to Colorado in the 1976. Moving to Denver from Kansas City, where the team was founded as the Scouts in 1974, the Colorado Rockies existed for six largely inglorious seasons of tumult, making the playoffs only once in their history. Despite this, there were definitely some bright spots. Hall of Famer Lanny McDonald played here. Joel Quennevillle was a young defenseman, and the team was the last coaching stop for the colorful double-edged sword that is Don Cherry, who lasted only one season. The team was sold a couple of times and, after a long, unsubtle courtship, moved to New Jersey, where they became the Devils. NHL hockey returned in 1995 when the Quebec Nordiques relocated and instantly the Avalanche were every bit as good as the Rockies had been bad. The team came to town with all-time NHL greats Joe Sakic and Peter Forsberg already in place; when the team was able to pull off a trade for fellow all-timer Patrick Roy from the Montreal Canadiens, the sense became that this was a team of destiny. True enough, the Colorado Avalanche won the Stanley Cup in their first year of existence. Five years later, after becoming a preferred destination for superstars to chase titles, the Avs repeated as Stanley Cup champs. This time, the season was one for the ages, as Ray Bourque, who had come to Colorado from the Boston Bruins the season before, played his final campaign with a sense of laser-focused purpose. Joe Sakic won the Hart Trophy as league MVP, Patrick Roy set the record for all time wins by a goalie early in the season, the Avalanche won the President’s Trophy as the best team during the regular season, and Colorado even hosted the All Star

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The problem with a pinnacle is that there’s nowhere to go but down. Though they remained contenders for a few years, the team hasn’t won the Cup since. After a yearlong lockout that saw the cancellation of the 2004-05 season and the implementation of a salary cap, the Avs lost true-blue career players like Peter Forsberg and Adam Foote. Though both eventually returned, the heart had been ripped from the team, and the connection Colorado felt with its Avalanche was heavily damaged. Retirements came, as they inevitably do; Patrick Roy, Joe Sakic and Milan Hejduk all rode into the sunset and had their numbers retired by the team. Bleak times had arrived. Just in the past ten years alone, the Avalanche have more top 5 picks in the NHL draft (4), than they do playoff appearances (3). The 2016-17 team actually finished the season as the worst team in hockey since the lockout, with 48 points and 22 wins out of an 82 game season. But the pendulum swings. As I began this column, the current team, youngest in the league, was putting up a valiant fight against the President’s Trophy winning Nashville Predators. The team improved from being historically bad to a playoff team in one season. The team’s 47 point improvement is the fourth highest year over year turnaround in NHL history. Nathan MacKinnon, drafted first overall in 2013, had a season that puts him in the MVP conversation. Though the Predators eventually prevailed, the Avs were never outclassed or embarrassed. They belonged there. So now, though the 2017-18 Avalanche campaign has come to an end, the future once again seems bright. Nathan MacKinnon has been nominated for the Hart, Jared Bednar is a finalist for the Jack Adams Award for coach of the year and the farm system has legitimate prospects in it. When and if it comes, the next Stanley Cup will be that much sweeter for having sunk to the depths and rebuilt from there. Enjoy the rest of the playoffs and have a good summer. The next Avalanche season will be here before you know it!

Valley Voice


May 2018

Economics Your Money - Your Life

Understanding the 4% Safe Withdrawl Rate By Scott L. Ford

I find myself spending time helping folks with personal financial questions ranging from effective budgeting methods, to strategies to becoming debt free and assessing the reality of retirement options. I truly enjoy answering these types of questions. Going forward, when I write about personal finance issues this column will be titled, “Your Money – Your Life. When I write about local economic issues, the column will continue to be “Common Sense about Dollars and Cents”. From a demographic perspective, I am a Baby Boomer. Looking around Steamboat Springs there are a lot of us living here. Because there are a lot of us Boomers, I am getting more questions about retirement. In the January issue of the Valley Voice I explained why retirement is not an age but a dollar amount. This month I am going to describe the 4% Rule, which is often referred to but not well understood. What is the 4% Percent Rule (aka - the Safe Withdrawal Rate)? Before I dive into this topic, a bit of background is helpful. The Safe Withdrawal Rate (SWR) is simply the rate that you can withdraw from the money you have saved for retirement every year that gives you have a high probability of never exhausting the amount you have. If you have saved nothing for retirement the 4% Rule still applies, because 4% of zero is zero. Currently about 1/3 of Americans age 55 and older find themselves in this situation of having no retirement savings, according to Employee Benefits Research Institute (EBRI) If, however, you have saved some money for retirement, once you retire how much can you withdraw “safely” over a 30-year period with a very low risk of running out of money? This is a great question. The answer to this question is critical for planning because you do not want to run out of money before you run out of life. The 4% Rule is based on the Trinity Study. This study found that, if the money you have set aside for retirement was invested 50% in stocks and 50% in bonds, then you could safely withdraw 4% annually for 25 years and still

have some money left. If the time was increased from 25 years to 30 years, there was a 96% chance you would not run out of money. Why 4%? Why not 2% or 10%? The math behind the 4% SWR is basic. The average annual investment return on money invested 50/50 in stocks and bonds is 7%. The average annual rate of inflation is 3%. Therefore, the average investment return, less average inflation, is 4%. Without question there have been a lot of ups and downs in both stocks and bonds. If, however, the long view is taken vs. a myopic one, since 1900 thru 2017 the average rate of return has been 7%, provided the dividends earned on stocks is reinvested in stocks. The 4% Rule assumes a patient investor. Remember the children’s story about the tortoise and the hare? The patient and steady tortoise wins the race every time I read the story. Let’s put this information into a practical application. According to the U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO), of those who have set aside money for retirement, that amount is currently $109,000 as of the end of 2017. This amount is enough to generate a monthly income of $363 per month for 25 years using the 4% Rule. Is $363 per month enough? The answer to this all depends on your lifestyle and other sources of income.

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All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.—Gordie Howe


May 2018

Valley Voice


Burning Man By Francis Conlon

I never went to Burning Man, An arid desert rendezvous, So big and flat in desert sand,

Spring is Here

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To mix with folks who understand, A freedom with no social glue. It comes together without repression, Lifestyle built with the big-ease, To give the true self full expression, ‘Tho watch out for a bad digression, A short-term joy may not please. Live free for now in the great wild-side, With water you have self-reliance, Without clothes you can not hide, For you have no rules to abide, There is no demand for compliance. On the Playa night you need a light, To move free without regard, A ray does help you keep upright, And not hit a body so uptight, With no beam you’re deemed “light ‘tard.” The journey there I may not make, ‘Tho, for sure, it is not fake.

Francis D. Conlon is a retired and recovering school teacher. For the past18 years, he has worked as a seasonal river ranger, and as a boat inspector for ANS (aquatic nuisance species), at Yampa River State Park and at Elkhead Reservoir outside nearby Hayden, Colorado, in northwestern Colorado.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

May 2018


A Closer Look

Vitamins? By Monica Yager

Vitamins are typically an easy sell and a huge moneymaker for vitamin sellers. Wide-ranging, all-encompassing claims of potential health benefits from ingesting a pill can be very alluring to consumers. So alluring that sometimes the crossover into wackiness isn’t detected immediately, such as what happened a few years back when a local vitamin seller tried this gem: organ repositioning. This was really a thing, a national trend that was thankfully short-lived. Typically, the vitamin seller would gain the consumer’s trust by self-claiming to be a vitamin expert and then offer to connect the consumer to an electrodiagnostic device that would determine any disease or condition in the consumer, what is causing the disease or condition, and how to treat it. Despite the fact that the electrodiagnostic device could really only measure moisture present on the skin, the vitamin seller used the device to make a “diagnosis” that the consumer was plagued with fatigue, stress, weakness, imbalance, or some other general, ambiguous affliction. The magic device was further used to determine the cause of the affliction. The vitamin seller would claim, through some divining of the device, that an organ in the lower abdomen was out of position. It was easiest to claim that a particular out-of-position organ was too high because it fit the resulting recommendation perfectly. The recommendation was to buy the very special, very expensive vitamins that the vitamin seller happened to sell, and then after downing a pill or two with water, jump up and down a set number of times…in order to reposition the out-of-position organ. The consumer would be instructed to do this for a set number of days or weeks, and then return to the vitamin seller for more of the wackiness. Probably at first consumers might have been caught off guard. Who knew that organs could get out of position? They don’t, but that vitamin seller had people hopping up and down until they got tired of it and some started to question the veracity of the vitamin seller. In the end, consumers spent money for vitamins they didn’t need for a condition they didn’t have and the vitamin seller moved on to the next wacky scam to lighten some other unsuspecting consumer’s wallet. The scam itself has never gone away; it still exists in slightly different forms. Consumers can avoid that disquieting feeling of having been duped by steering clear of anyone that uses a magic device, offers a phony diagnosis and fake treatment with special vitamins and those really special oils.


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May 2018

Valley Voice

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“Find your bliss!” “Follow your passion!” These popular edicts allude to the idea that there is a bigger, better life out there waiting for us to come and get it, a life constantly filled with joy and excitement and no bad days. But what do these phrases really mean? They imply that there is One Big Thing our life should be centered around; one thing that, when we find it, makes life truly worth living. Especially in places like Steamboat Springs, where there are so many people who are extremely committed to and accomplished in a specific field (how many Olympic athletes hail from Steamboat again?), it can seem like a fulfilling life stems from one main area of interest and expertise. For most people, however, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Ironically, these phrases that are meant to sound encouraging and hopeful can actually lead to a sense of pressure or even depression. In our society, many people have so many opportunities and options available that the stress of picking just one to be “my bliss” or “my passion” can feel overwhelming. Psychologist Barry Schwartz posits in his TED Talk “The Paradox of Choice” that having an overabundance of choices, whether in jeans or career paths, actually leads to anxiety and what he has called analysis paralysis, or overthinking a choice to the extent that no decision is ever made. Although some people really do have one activity or endeavor that they feel more passionately about than any others, most people have a number of interests, relationships, passions and pursuits that come together to make life feel full and worthwhile. If you’re one of the former, you probably already know who you are. If you’re not, accepting the pop-culture assumption that having one driving force in life is somehow more valuable than living a well-rounded life opens the door to guilt and a nagging feeling that you’re missing out on something.

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You may even feel you’re committing that greatest of all modern Western society crimes: Not living up to your potential. With all this in mind, it can be helpful to set aside the idea of trying to find one thing that will become the center of our life and instead focus on living in the fullness of life. This allows us to have a life filled with bliss and passion but releases us from the expectation that we should have “a bliss” or “a passion.” Identifying key elements and activities that bring us more of what we want (joy, peace, excitement, etc.) is the first step toward entering into this fullness. The next step is finding ways to integrate these elements into our daily lives. In this way, life itself becomes the passion we’ve been looking for. If you’re feeling that day-to-day life is more of a drudgery than a gift, and thinking you’d be happier if you could only find that One Big Thing, it may be worth considering that delving into a wider circle of experiences could lead to the sense of fulfillment and passion you’ve been seeking. These experiences may already be a part of your life but are being overlooked, they may have been in your life before but you’ve lost connection with them, or they may be activities, ideas or people you’ve never been involved with before. Whatever the case, finding deep satisfaction in life need not be as daunting a feat as it is sometimes made out to be. In the next of this series of three articles, we will explore reasons why we may have lost touch with the things that lead to a full life, and how to reconnect with them. In the third article we’ll look at ways to build and maintain the experience of living in the fullness of life. So mull the idea over for a while and check back in on next month’s issue of Valley Voice to learn more about engaging in passion-building endeavors. It’s never too late to start living the full life!


Valley Voice

May 2018


Tales from the Front Desk

The Escapee By Aimee Kimmey

The story you are about to read is true... More or less. Monday. Front Desk. 2:28pm. Of all the days of the week, Mondays seemed to be the strangest at the front desk. This one was shaping up to be a doozy! It started with the elderly man who was appalled the continental breakfast didn’t offer grits. Then the couple who almost had a brawl over which credit card to use. Two separate lost children. And of course, the guests who found a cat in their room. And now, in the middle of a rush of people checking in, a strange girl was bobbing at the corner of the clerk’s counter. She wore overalls and a turtleneck, even though it was easily seventy degrees outside. Her long hair was a tangled mess, her eyes were large and intent. The clerk hadn’t seen her come in, but she couldn’t miss her now; the girl watched her like a hawk. It was starting to freak the clerk out just a bit.

The guest on the other side of the counter inhaled sharply, “My God! That’s terrible.” He said, “My great aunt Agnes died of MS, it was... rough. I’m so sorry.” The clerk paused to look at the girl, she couldn’t have been much older than eighteen. It seemed far too young to have such a painful affliction. “Do you want to sit down? Or can I get you some water?” “No.” The girl continued to rock adeptly back and forth, watching the clerk’s every move. “Okay,” The clerk handed the guest his card and room keys, “So, you’re in 167; just go out that door and turn right. You’re just off the parking lot.” With a final sad look at the girl, he gathered his things and left. The next guest stepped up to the counter. Before the clerk could greet the woman, the girl, who seemed to be getting closer, pronounced, “I have MS!” The girl bounced with surprising dexterity.

Eyeing the kid, the clerk asked, “Where are your parents sweetie?” “I don’t have any.” She said casually, continuing her drumming. “Oh!” The woman across the counter sniffed, wiping tears from her eyes. “That’s so sad!” “Constance!” A voice bellowed from the door of the lobby. The girl suddenly froze, her eyes growing even wider, making her look all sorts of guilty. A flustered woman wearing a vest with the logo of the local special needs school bustled toward them. She smiled apologetically at the clerk and her guest, “I’m so sorry if she’s bothering you. She and the others are cleaning next door. But she’s a bit of an escape artist.” “Oh sure.” The clerk said, now things were making sense. “Constance! Come out from behind there, you don’t belong back there.” The woman beckoned her.

The woman on the other side of the counter gasped. “Oh you poor dear!” She looked at the clerk, “Is she yours?”

Constance sagged. Looking utterly defeated, she shuffled around to the woman in the vest. “I have MS.” She mumbled.

“No! No she’s definitely not with me...” Although the girl was now so close, the clerk could see why the woman guessed that.

The woman look apologetically back and forth between the clerk and the guest. “She does NOT have MS! She just likes to tell people that.”

Still bouncing on her toes, the girl started to drum on the counter with her fingers. Tapping out such a precise rhythm, the clerk was beginning to doubt her claim of MS.

She gathered Constance under her arm. As they left the lobby, the girl looked back to wave, “Bye.”

“I have MS.” The girl said again. Oh, this was becoming a Monday for the record books! The guest handed the clerk her driver’s license, her eyes welling up with tears. “Oh! That’s horrible. It’s such an awful disease, and you’re so young...” “Uh-huh.” The clerk nodded vaguely, punching the woman’s name into her computer. The girl was almost shoulder to shoulder with her now. The clerk was beginning to feel distinctly uncomfortable.

“Well, that was...” The guest on the other side of the counter grasped for the word. “Odd?” The clerk offered, handing back her driver’s license. “Yes! Does this sort of thing happen often?” The clerk grinned, “Only on Mondays!”

Chris “Johnsie”Johns Memorial Ride Photos by Richard Bayly

She looked at the long line of impatient guests, then glanced at the girl. While swiping a credit card, she turned slightly to the girl, “Can I help you with something honey?” “I have MS!” The girl stated proudly, hooking her thumbs through her overalls as she rocked back and forth on her toes.

True success, true happiness lies in freedom and fulfillment.—Dada Vaswani


May 2018

Valley Voice


Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries

March 21 - April 19

While in the delivery room, it quickly occurs to you that there might be a small chance that the baby may not be yours. It became kind of obvious when you noticed the baby had a tail and, oddly, your dog was shaking the doctor’s hand and giving out cigars.


April 20 - May 20

And somehow you decide to go against your better instincts and re-enter into the partnership. It’s a totally healthy decision, seeing how you have a fondness for punishment and are a glutton for pain.


May 20 - June 20

Somehow after many hours of experimentation, you will gain a new understanding of microwavable dinners, and if it is really necessary to keep the plastic on while cooking.


June 21 - July 22


October 24 - November 21

Everyone has that aunt that will give sugary treats with total disregard of ruining your appetite, take you to your first concert and get you that piercing that your parents refused to allow. Everyone that is, but your nephew.




July 23 - August 23

August 23 - September 22

You decide to get all those people back by showing up to your surprise party through the kitchen window. That will show them for trying to surprise you. You are the king of trickery.

November 22 - December 21

Somehow your relationship with your sister will take a shaky turn when you both have different opinions on what “sisterly love” really consists of.



Happy Hour is 7pm-10pm daily.

September 23 - October 23

When a popular wildlife show contacted you, you figured you would be invited to track a beautiful and majestic creature somewhere in the dark corners of the world. You didn’t expect a camera man and a narrator to follow you around all day describing what you are doing at every moment.

The hand of time will play a role in your life this week as it pushes you into puddles, presses every button in the elevator and grabs your co-worker’s butt, promptly blaming you. When the therapist told you to get your frustration out by putting your head in a pillow and yelling, he didn’t mean to keep your face in the pillow until you lose proper air flow and pass out.



December 22 - January 19

Remember that one time, when they said they would love you unconditionally? Who would have thought that unconditionally has a condition? January 20 - February 18

The stars need to warn you this week that although famous musicians are on TV, convincing you to buy a blemish cream, it does not necessarily mean that when you buy it you will become BFFs with them. Seriously, that restraining order is really not a joke.


February 19 - March 20

Your love for the strange and unfamiliar has driven you to get your passport and travel to a different country. So you can understand how odd it is that you find yourself sitting at a McDonalds in Paris after you went shopping at the Walmart in Rome.

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Valley Voice

May 2018


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Yampa Street Follies Part 1

Who would understand backwards, diagonal parking anyway?

Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before.—Elizabeth Edwards


May 2018

Valley Voice

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