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December 2019 . Issue 8.12

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Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa

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December 2019

Valley Voice

Trying to find the perfect gift? Stop into Steamboat Whiskey Company and check out our selection of locally crafted spirits and merchandise. Or, take a break from the holiday bustle and relax with a delicious libation made with our award-winning spirits. Please enjoy our spirits responsibly this holiday season and have a safe and happy new year. Cheers!

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Valley Voice

December 2019

Rants...

Contents Doing Something About Mental Health

Page 4

Celebrating Success Locally

Page 5

Ride the Wild Horse

Page 6

The Twelve Days of Nature

Page 7

By Dylan Roberts By Sonja Macys By Bill Martin By Karen Vail

Memories Page 8 By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield

Planning Hayden's Future

Page 10

Healing Addiction in the Valley

Page 15

You're So Beautiful

Page 15

The Last Person I Saw Today

Page 16

Debt Avalanche vs. Debt Snowball

Page 16

By Brodie Farquhar By Michael Rass

Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf mattscharf1@gmail.com Accounts Manager:

Scott Ford

Sales:

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Event Calendar:

Eric Kemper ericvalleyvoice@gmail.com

Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website www.valleyvoicecolorado.com. Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2019 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voice.

By Joan Remy

By Fran Conlon

By Scott L. Ford

The Shampoo Page 17 By Aimee Kimmey

Where Do Christmas Trees Come From? Page 18 By Sean Derning

Happy 2019 to All y' All

Page 19

Calendar of FREE Events

Page 20

By Mr. Helpful, M.D. By Eric Kemper

Yampuzzler Page 21 By Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean

Yepelloscopes Page 22 By Chelsea Yepello

Comics Page 23

Official Fine Print Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements. The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat Springs’s Valley Voice. Direct all correspondence, articles, editorials or advertisements to the address below. The author’s signature and phone number must accompany letters to the editor. Names will be withheld upon request (at the discretion of the publisher). Submission is no guarantee of publication. Subscription rate is a donation of 40 measly dollars per year. However, if you wish to send more because you know we desperately need your money, don’t be shy, send us all you can! Advertisers rates vary by size, call 970-846-3801 and we’ll come visit you. Please make checks payable to: Valley Voice, LLC P.O. Box 770743 • Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 Thank you for your support!

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West Side Neighborhood putting the cart before the horse… A 60+ year old poem starting debates on what is art… Mechanical snags with the new gondola… Spending Thanksgiving alone in the country… Realizing no one cares that you need to work harder… Helicopter parents… One single road cone that causes back-ups for miles... Heavy traffic and you are low on gas... A truck that gets 9 miles to the gallon...

Raves... No major injuries in 2019… The poem ‘Howl’ by Allen Ginsberg… Free skiing on Sunday at Howelsen Hill… All the volunteer dog walkers at the Routt County Humane Society… Government oversight committees… New backcountry ski gear… A new adopted rescue pet - or two… Another ski season underway... All snow removal equipment running and ready... The Arts...

Say What?... “We know he broke the law, but that’s OK.” “Joe Biden is how you say “Jeb Bush” in Democratic.” When a flat-earth believer says; “We haven’t seen any evidence of gravity - yet.” “What’s your name again? I thought you were going to plow my driveway.” “What do you mean? ‘You don’t own the land yet.’ We’ve already started the building process!”

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin


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December 2019

Valley Voice

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Doing Something About Mental Health By Dylan Roberts

Find us on the mountain and in local independent stores

First up was a bill I introduced with a colleague of mine, Rep. Michaelson Jenet, but it was children and young adults, including an Eagle County high school student who helped inspire it. The Youth Suicide Prevention and Mental Health Education Act reduces the age for which a student can qualify for immediate mental health counseling from 15 years old to 12. Also, at the suggestion of Battle Mountain High School student Saphira Klearman who saw that other states were doing this, we added a section to this bill that directs the State Board of Education to develop a resource bank of curriculum materials for K-12 teachers across the state to incorporate mental health awareness into their daily lesson-planning. Saphira and other students from Eagle County came to the Capitol to testify in favor of this bill – and it passed. Thank you! The state legislature did not end our work on mental health there. We passed a significant bipartisan bill that is now law that requires insurance plans, both private and Medicaid, cover behavioral health services just like they cover physical health. That means that mental health crisis services get covered just like a broken leg would and that a behavioral health screen is treated just the same as an annual physical.

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Colorado is no stranger to finding itself at the top of the list in some impressive categories. For example, we are near the top of the list for the nation’s best recreation , place to retire , and proudly, we have the top economy of any state in the country. Yet, one list we are unfortunate to top is the states with the highest rate of suicide. Last month, social media marked “World Mental Health Day” to help bring awareness to this devastating crisis and just a few days later, a “cluster” of suicides occurred in the Roaring Fork Valley - a stark reminder that this mental health crisis is not easily mitigated. Here in rural Colorado, this crisis is even more exacerbated; the suicide rate in rural Colorado is nearly twice as high as the statewide average, which is already much higher than the nationwide average. Responding to that crisis, there are dozens of dedicated organizations, professionals, volunteers, students, and more in our community working tirelessly to increase access to mental health care and to help break the stigma around this issue. Their work is invaluable and I am happy to say that at the state legislature this past year, we did significant work to be a better partner to their efforts.

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Further, we established a program in which individuals can create an advanced directive to be used in times of crisis. We also passed legislation to make significant changes to better support children in need of behavioral health services like ensuring “wraparound” behavioral health services for children who have displayed behavioral health challenges earlier in life. Finally, the state legislature came together and worked across the aisle to pass several bills that acknowledge the fine line between mental illness, addiction, and the criminal justice system. To that end, we passed legislation regarding the treatment of persons with behavioral health disorders who are at risk of becoming involved in the criminal justice system and a new law was approved that recognizes that addiction is much more a disease than it is a crime and places an emphasis on community-based treatment instead of prison for first-time offenders. This is just a summary of the legislation we considered in the 2019 session related to mental health but hopefully, it is just a start as well. State policy like this is just one way to address the crisis we are facing in Colorado. Like I said earlier, there are so many great people and noble efforts being undertaken here in our community and across the state and we could not thank them enough. The state legislature is just one part of that effort but I am proud to report that after this past legislative session, we are becoming a worthy partner with local action. Have an idea in this subject area (or any other)? As always, you can contact me at Dylan.Roberts.House@state. co.us or at (970) 846-3054. Finally, you are not alone. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide or you just need someone to talk to, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255, En Español: 1-888-628-9454, or the Crisis Text Line by texting: 741741. Representative Dylan Roberts represents Colorado House District 26, encompassing Eagle and Routt counties.

Best kept secret in Steamboat Springs! For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

1117 Lincoln Steamboat Springs


Valley Voice

December 2019

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Organic . Healthy . Fun A Good Balanced Breakfast keeps you on your toes!

City Council Voices

Celebrating Success Locally By Sonja Macys

Tired of the tribalism and divisiveness at the national level? Me too. I’ve turned 100% of my focus to what we can do right now to preserve the things that are important to us, right here in the Yampa Valley. Positive momentum is building on water, climate and preservation of community character. City Council is committed to working with our partners to “To preserve our past while assuring an economically, culturally, and environmentally sustainable future.” In fact, it’s our vision statement. Let me share a few recent breakthroughs that we can celebrate, thanks to the power of partnerships. The Yampa River Fund. After nearly two years of collaboration, the Yampa River Fund launched in September 2019. Organized by The Nature Conservancy, which has established water funds all over the globe, the fund’s mission is to establish a sustainable, voluntary funding source for the Yampa River. Since 2010, we’ve intermittently conducted strategic releases out of Stagecoach Reservoir to ensure river health, thanks in large part to funding partners at The Colorado Water Trust. With the financial support of many generous donors, The Yampa River Fund endowment now holds $3.5 million dollars that will generate at least $150,000/ year for projects like strategic releases and river shading. Steamboat Ski & Resort Corp. jumped all in with a contribution of $500,000, gaining Steamboat Springs and Routt County a prominent mention by Alterra CEO, parent of Ski Corp, at the recent Mt.2030 Summit. The city’s water team has played a key role in the fund’s development with Water Resource Manager, Kelly RomeroHeaney now serving as Chair. City Council has authorized a $50K contribution which could be increased, based on the outcome of the 2019 sales tax year. Climate Action Planning. This fall City Council took the Mt.2030 pledge, joining other mountain towns in committing to leading community conversations about setting courageous and action-based climate goals; engaging other leaders in our community, region, and state in aligning climate action; and actively sharing and collaborating with other communities on implementing best practices and creating new solutions.

It was an easy sell for Council, because we were already moving on this front. In 2019, the city and county commissioned an updated greenhouse gas emissions study which has provided good data for Climate Action Planning. Public meetings on the Climate Action Plan will begin in early 2020. In addition, we’ll be hosting Utah University Professor Rob Davies, Ph.D, for a community climate action conversation on the evening of January 21st at Colorado Mountain College. We look forward to seeing you there. Steamboat Springs Downtown Plan. Adopted in 2019, the plan takes a fresh look at the long-range future vision for downtown; identifies challenges and opportunities; and provides options for dealing with issues where consensus is currently lacking. The plan is advisory, not regulatory. Its implementation will go through a full public process, starting with the Planning Commission. The Commission recommended prioritizing two areas: Community Development Code (CDC) Amendments and Historic Preservation. Their proposed CDC amendments include three provisions that would open more areas of downtown to hotels as a use by right or limited use; allow hotels the same height as residences (read, more people (cars) downtown and more employees (and their cars) to serve those people); and adjust parking requirements. I encourage the community to track this to ensure that we fully account for all impact associated with the potential increase in density. Another outcome of these recommendations includes adding additional expertise in long-range planning and historic preservation to city staff. On some fronts, we are making progress. Maybe that is because, as my dear friend and colleague Councilman Scott Ford says, “We have the right people on the bus.” Or maybe it is because (another Ford-ism), “Pleasant Persistence Prevails.” I invite you to be a part of the conversation and help us guide our community into the outcome we desire. Thought Scott is no longer on Council with us, we will be honoring his legacy of “Coffee with Council” by starting a Council hosted brown bag series in 2020 where issues like these can be further discussed. I hope to see you there.

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Our aims in political activism are not, and should not be, to create a perfect utopia. - Paul Wellstone


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December 2019

Valley Voice

Community Vision and Planning

Ride The Wild Horse By Bill Martin significant rider demand; even so, Alterra could explore a trial use as early as this summer. Creating access to the Wild Horse base terminal from the Meadows parking lot is relatively easy. This would surely stimulate valuable community and visitor interest and gain feedback regarding long-term feasibility.

The Alterra Mountain Company ownership of the Steamboat Ski Area is demonstrating commitment and strategic thinking with its investment in replacing the Thunderhead Gondola. This multi-million dollar upgrade may not bring in one new ski customer; however, it does contribute greatly to increasing uphill capacity, the safety and comfort of the rider and the professional image of Steamboat as a world-class ski area.

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The new gondola warrants optimism for Alterra’s interest in cultivating a long-term relationship with Steamboat Springs. This refreshing ownership and management vision creates a real opportunity to open discussions for moving people from the Meadows parking lot to Gondola Plaza quickly and efficiently using the Wild Horse Gondola. This is a natural solution with the Wild Horse Gondola’s upper terminal in Gondola Plaza and the base terminal roughly 100 yards short of the Meadows parking lot. Skiers would welcome eliminating the hassle of boarding shuttles and the extended walk from the base area shuttle staging area to Gondola Plaza. The Wild Horse upper terminal lands riders in Gondola Plaza close to the new Thunderhead Gondola entrance, ski school, ticket office and Gondola Plaza activities. What fun for non-skiing visitors to begin their day with the adventure of a gondola ride to the base area for exploration of the shops, restaurants and amenities year round without the hassle of searching for parking at the base-area! There is multifold benefit to Alterra, base-area businesses, lodging, restaurants, area guests and the greater Steamboat Springs community year-round. Eliminating the need for ski season shuttle buses could reduce costs to Alterra in equipment, maintenance, fuel, liability and employees. The absence of shuttles would significantly lessen traffic on Mt. Werner Road and related vehicular pollution. Conceptually the Wild Horse Gondola might be modeled after the Telluride Gondola that connects old Telluride with the Mountain Village. The Telluride Gondola operates 18 hours a day, free of charge and is considered public transportation for guests and workers. Steamboat Ski area already operates and maintains the Wild Horse Gondola and could negotiate extending operations creating year-round public access from the Meadows parking lot to Gondola Plaza. The existing Wild Horse Gondola is kind of a carnival ride version of gondolas and is undersized for any

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Eventually an eight passenger Doppelmayr Gondola similar to the new Thunderhead Gondola would be required. However, the most important factor is already there: the established Wild Horse lift line right-of-way and Gondola Plaza terminus. Food concessions, information provided by Mountain hosts and an electronic information board could be located at the Wild Horse base. Current slope and grooming conditions, specials from the ski area, merchants, restaurants etc. could be displayed as riders board. As a companion to the Wild Horse Gondola, Alterra and the city should look to a broader picture and create a public/ private partnership to design and build a multi-storied transportation and parking structure at the Meadows lot site offering a combination of paid and free parking. The Meadows Transportation Center is central in the creation of an integrated public transportation network. Guests staying at the base area would have the option for long-term, off-site parking at the Meadows lot. Public local and regional bus transportation and shuttles could have regularly scheduled stops at the Wild Horse base terminal enhancing residents’ and visitors’ ability to move throughout our community without personal vehicles. A potential significant financial benefit to property owners and developers at the base area with the Meadows Transportation Center is reducing the need for ground-level parking lots and spaces on valuable base-area land. This is where our city council and planners should provide cooperation and incentives. Base-area property owners may be offered the option of buying into the new parking structure to reduce onsite ground-level parking requirements. City planning and development codes require a certain number of parking spaces for each development project. Those requirements could be reduced once the Wild Horse Gondola with its direct connection to the Meadows Transportation Center is in place. Limiting ground-level onsite parking at the base area for individual projects would be a win/win for the city and developers. Onsite parking could then be reserved for short term, drop-off, delivery and special permitted parking only. The Wild Horse Gondola and Meadows Transportation Center creates a new visitor-friendly accessibility to the base area contributing substantially to recapturing its vitality year round especially during non-skiing periods. Alterra and city leaders must seize this opportunity and join together. The city has access to public grant funding and Alterra can contribute infrastructure and operations. Together this public/private partnership can build a multitransportation network for the greater benefit of all. May the Horse be with you.


Valley Voice

December 2019

7

'Boat Almanac

The Twelve Days of Nature By Karen Vail Photo by Karen Vail

Enjoy singing this ode to the holidays to the tune of the .Twelve Days of Christmas. On the first day of winter nature gave to me a chickaree in a pine tree. The unmistakeable “chick chick chick” of a pine squirrel (Tamiasciurus hudsonicus) earns them their other name “chickaree.” They liven the conifer forest all winter with their high-branch acrobtics searching for seeds in conifer cones. On the second day of spring nature gave to me two mourning cloaks... There is nothing like watching butterflies flying over spring snow! Mourning cloak butterflies (Nymphalis antiopa) overwinter as adults frozen in “cryopreservation” under tree bark or cavities, or unheated buildings. After emerging in spring they mate and die soon after. This 10 month life span is considered long for a butterfly. On the third day of spring nature gave to me three spring beauties... Flowers, that is! The sunny yellow sagebrush buttercup (Ranunculus glaberrimus) hugging the ground with shiny petals. Mountain bluebells (Mertensia brevistyla) offering sky blue hanging bell-like flowers on six inch stems. And our beloved dogtooth violet (Erythronium grandiflorum)- the sun in a flower! Not really a violet, but a lily, the star- like bright yellow blooms often bloom right through the snow! Aaah! On the fourth day of summer nature gave to me four “cawing” birds... Crows and jays are very vociferous birds with a large collection of sounds to indicate anything from “hey, there is a good looking lady,” to “there comes that guy with the red hat that sits right there and leaves crumbs behind!” Yes, in studies done with crows, they can recognize faces and remember if they are good guys or bad guys, and will let others know through unique vocalizations. On the fifth day of late summer nature gave to me five goooold chanterelle... Yummy! On the sixth day of spring nature gave to me six birds a laying... Eggs are soooo incredible! From tiny hummingbird eggs (1/2”) to sandhill cranes (4 1/2”), and egg shapes from near spherical owl, jellybean shaped hummingbird and pointy sandpiper. A groundbreaking research paper in 2017 found the egg shape depends on how much the species flies; more streamlined eggs come from strong fliers. And the rainbow of hues seen in modern bird eggs probably evolved in birds' dinosaur ancestors, which had eggs with colorful and speckled shells.

On the seventh day of winter nature gave to me seven river otters a swimming... Winter is a good time to view river otters as their trails and antics are visible on the snow. Here you will see their personality shine with playful slides along the snow and into the water, bounding tracks, and communal play time. Also look for areas where they have hauled food out of the water and sat and feasted along the bank. On the eighth day of winter nature gave to me eight cubs a milking... Milking cubs in winter?? Black bears mothers have their young typically in January in their dens. The cubs are about eight ounces when they are born, then crawl up to the nipple to suckle an incredibly rich milk. Human (and cow) milk is around five percent fat, whereas black bear milk is around 20 to 25 percent fat. When the cubs emerge from the den around April, that rich milk has fattened them up to around six pounds. On the ninth day of spring nature gave to me nine Brownie Lady’s slippers dancing... Yes, dancing at night when we are sleeping :), the Brownie Fairy’s Slipper orchid (Cypripedium fasciculatum) is a rare beauty of our rich soil, shaded conifer forests. The unique pouch is a lady’s slipper orchid characteristic. Good luck finding them as the magenta to cream colored cluster of blooms blends in well with the forest floor. And when you do, sit down and say hello and celebrate! On the tenth day of summer nature gave to me ten pronghorn leaping... And leap they can! Pronghorn’s scientific name, Antilocarpa americana, means “American goat-antelope,” although it is not a goat or an antelope. It is the only surviving member of the Antilocapridae family and has survived in North America for over a million years! Pronghorn is the fastest animal in the Western Hemisphere, running up to 60 miles per hour and running long distances at speeds of 30-40 miles per hour. It can bound up to 20 feet when it is running.

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On the eleventh day of winter nature gave to me eleven Townsend’s Solitaires piping.... A trip up the Uranium Mine Road in winter is surely a chance to meet a Townsend’s Solitaire. But first you will hear the clear ringing note they make from the top of the tallest tree. These are drab gray birds, similar in size to robins, and thrive in the Fish Creek area probably because of the numbers of Rocky Mountain juniper which is their main food source through the winter. Closer to spring mating time, their rich songs fill the slopes. On the twelfth day of summer nature gave to me twelve cicadas “drumming”... Cicadas are a quintessential sound of summer, and they also can be very LOUD! Most cicadas produce the buzzing noise using a structure known as a tymbal located on their abdomen. The tymbal contains a series of ribs that buckle one against another when the cicada flexes its muscles. Each time a rib buckles, the rib clicks, and a succession of clicks produces the buzz. To make it even louder, the sound is resonated within chambers of the body. Hope you enjoyed singing the nature holiday song! Happy holidays to everyone in 2019, many beautiful winter excursions and exploratons. We will see you on the trails in 2020!

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December 2019

Valley Voice

Bonnifield Files

Memories

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Sometime after I grew older, I learned Europeans often drank either beer or wine because the water was polluted. I have no way of knowing the truth, but I wonder if the same thing may have been true for our coffee drinking. All the ranches and the towns of Phippsburg and Milner had shallow water wells and nearby cesspools. The water had to have been dangerous, but the coffee was boiled and kept hot.

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started the fire, and put the coffee on while the men milked the cows and separated the cream. After coffee perked, the pot was slid to the back of the stove where the contents remained warm all day. Before a fresh pot was made for supper, the coffee became strong but good. None dared cut it with sugar or cream. It was too good on its own - regardless of how bad it got! The only substitute for coffee was a bottle of beer.

Meeker

Charles Martin Bonnifield Sitting at the computer, attempting to begin another article for the Bonnifield Files, it simply won't come. The series on the dark side of Colorado history during the late nineteenth and early twentieth century is bogged down in the distant past. The tale is far too dark, filled with crime, torture, murder, and suffering. It can't be told during the season of joy, comradery, and the rebirth of hope. Yet, a deadline must be met. So, kindly allow us to spin a flax golden tale from the past while drinking a favorite morning beverage - strong black coffee. Few of us remember the common coffee of the 1940s to mid-1960s. The term 'cowboy coffee' completely misses the target. Back then, coffee was the preferred drink of everyone. People drank it morning, noon, and night and all times between. Go to someone's house and they would invite you in for a cup of coffee. Go to town and you would stop, have a cup of coffee, and catch up on the news mostly gossip. There was always time for a good cup of coffee, and with a story, all coffee was good! Coal and wood cook stoves were common in kitchens. The day routinely started as women got up in the morning,

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

To get on with the story, I guess it all began back in the early 1930s. Times were hard on Colorado's eastern plains. Henry Snead's family had moved from a tar paper shack to an equally poorly constructed house, yet 'beans hung high' as the saying went, for real poverty. The family's history was one of want and hardship. The Sneads moved to Colorado during the bloody Indian war of 1863 and settled near Longmont. Later they moved to Bennett. Henry, born March 19, 1876, in Colorado Territory, was older than the state of Colorado, always a point of family pride. After reaching adulthood, Henry filed on a homestead and purchased a little more land to take advantage of the open range. In time, he became a successful horse and mule trader. He married and started a family - first Bud, then Lauramay, followed by three more girls. When Lauramay was thirteen, her mother died of cancer, leaving her to raise the younger sisters while helping her hard pressed Papa and brother. In later years, she recalled riding hard and fast across abandoned farms with hidden wells and downed barb wire fences. On a dare from adult men, she (maybe nine years old) and her faithful horse Sam swam the South Platte River and back during a spring flood. Later, learning what happened, her dad spoke to some men 'by hand.' The river where they crossed was over a half mile wide. With a broad smile, she recalled other exciting moments driving bunches of horses or mules to the livery barns in Denver, and cattle to the Denver Stockyards. Commerce City, with its endless hog farms, was always exciting. Her brother, Bud, in 1927, helped drive the last large herd of horses from Wyoming into Denver for the livery barns. They trailed by Lakeside Amusement Park and held them


Valley Voice

December 2019

9

Located at Neste Auto Glass William H. Price

W.H. Price General Merchandise

where the Federal Center is currently located. Another time, he won the calf roping at the state fair and was declared state champion.

By 1932, Henry could not make it any longer. The combination of depression ridden farmers abandoning their land, automobiles and taxies replacing horses and livery barns, and the entire depression proved too much. Prohibition remained the law, so Papa and Lauramay decided to move to the mountains near Pine Cliff. Papa would bootleg whiskey and daughter would run pasture cattle. At that time, the Pine Cliff - Rollinsville area was a major summer pasture range. Papa's bootleg business failed and he went to work in a sawmill where an accident cut two and a half fingers off one hand and half a finger off the other. (Small sawmills were common across the Colorado Rockies.) Lauramay was more successful with her cattle business and she was a heck of a horse woman. A good horse always brought good money. On the other side of the outfit, William Augusta Bonnifield was elected mayor of Kansas City just as the Civil War began. He supported the Union. Soon driven out of office and out of the city by the pro-slave faction, he arrived in Colorado where he became a stockman. In 1868, he was one of three roundup foremen in Douglas County. He was killed during a runaway in 1877. One daughter, Maud Evelyn, married an early day Meeker merchant - W. H. Price who owned a general merchandise store. One son, William Martin, married into the prominent South Park McLaughlin family. Mathew McLaughlin owned a livery, operated branch stagecoach lines, and freighted. Large coach and freight lines ran from Denver to Leadville. McLaughlin picked up passengers and freight at Fairplay and drove them to various mining camps and communities within South Park. In October 1893, the United States went on the gold standard and stopped purchasing silver. The nation immediately went into a deep depression. McLaughlin went broke and moved. He filed on a homestead near Rifle. At the same time, the Al McGuires filed on land adjacent to Charley McCoy's hotel, livery and Colorado River ferry. The family never spoke of the courtship and marriage of Alice McLaughlin and William Martin Bonnifield. Their only son, Charles 'Chuck' was born, January 4, 1901. Divorce followed.

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In 1903, Aunt Ivy McGuire lost her only child. Since Chuck was the same age, he came to live with Aunt Ivy. Thus, the Bonnifields arrived in Routt County.

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Chance being the ruler of destiny, during World War I, William Martin joined the army and served in France. Although under age but filled with patriot zeal, Chuck fibbed and joined the Marine Corps, serving two tours of duty as a seagoing Marine in the Pacific. Chuck was involved in active combat in Siberia and China. Both father and son were on active duty during the fighting. Returning home from France, William Martin moved to Dillon, Montana, where he homesteaded, starved out, and went to work for the college. After discharge, Chuck became a lineman for the D&SL, worked in digging the Moffat Tunnel, punched cows, and was nearly run over by Lauramay as she raced down a street. Later they married on September 12, 1933. The depression was at its depth, and Grandpop Snead with his crippled hand lived with them. Steady work was hard to find and the newlyweds tried many things. They leased a ranch near Tabernash but that did not last. Chuck was badly hurt working in the timber. The mill owner never paid Chuck his wages. Chuck found more work on the railroad replacing the high trestle over Rock Creek in Rock Creek Canyon between McCoy and Toponas. These were times that tested a person's real worth. Little things were done to get ahead. Large cuffs in men's work clothes allowed for matching material to patch them. Before sewage plants and garbage disposals, waste food from railroad beaneries was put in buckets and fed to hogs and chickens. Lauramay never owned a sewing machine, but with a needle, thread, and thimble, she sewed, fine, even, small stitches. For Christmas presents, the Bonnifields were expected to make their gifts for others. They had to be useful, creative and well-made - not simply thrown together. The gift must be made from something readily available. Chuck's reading aloud made a book come alive. Many evenings he read aloud as the family sat in silent suspense listening to 'The Call of the Wild' or 'White Fang.' Lauramay enjoyed reciting lines from Longfellow, Holmes, or Whitman. And there was always room in the kitchen to dance. Life was good even when it was bad.

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Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them. - Bob Dylan


10

December 2019

Valley Voice

Planning Hayden's Future Begins in January By Brodie Farquhar

The goal, said Mendisco, is to create a comprehensive plan that is “realistic, actionable and measureable. This will be data-driven. There won’t be anything fluffy about this plan.” Nor will it simply gather dust on a shelf. The idea is to have a plan that can be continuously updated as events warrant.

Time waits for no man, or community, for that matter, and Hayden is no exception. The town saw three, large construction projects launch in 2019. The new water main, paving and paved sidewalk for Hospital Hill is done, Kum ‘n Go’s bigger facility is well on its way to opening this winter, and the new school complex for the district is largely enclosed against blowing snow, with work shifting to the interior of the pre-K to high school facility. That should open next fall. Meanwhile, Hayden Town Manager Matt Mendisco, staff, city council and consultant are all gearing up for the public launch of a comprehensive planning process in January, conducted by Norris Design. “I think this is going to become the model for rural development,” Mendisco said. Norris Design will bring a wide range of tools to bear, including community surveys and meetings, brain-storming and deliver a plan for the next 15 years, by next November. The plan should carry Hayden out to 2035.

“This will cost $167,000 of which half is covered by a grant,” Mendisco said. The plan will address economic development, construction of residential, commercial and industrial space. An entrepreneurial spirit animates the plan and the basic approach to the plan. “That’s the only way things get done,” he said. Define an objective and then get it done. And it all has to be driven by data. Norris Design is active in Arizona, Texas and Colorado --- with three offices in the Centennial State: Denver, Fort Collins and Frisco. Colorado projects include parks, multiuse development, workforce housing, events center and affordable housing. Mendisco said Hayden has a wide range of development opportunities, including: • Open commercial lots on the west side of town, near the post office. • Open lots and empty buildings in the core business district, which would be amenable to restaurants, retail and hotel development.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

• The Peabody-owned lots on the east side of town, near the police station, zoned commercially. • The industrial park, which has water and sewer in place, so no tap fees. • The airport and environs, which has new fixed-base operator facilities and room for more development. • A variety of properties ready for multi-family and residential development in and around town. Potentially the biggest opportunity for development will be the site of the current secondary school facility in Hayden. The oldest parts of the facility will be bulldozed and carted off, while the newer parts – gymnasium, auditorium and surrounding classrooms and offices – may be preserved and put to community use. What happens is up to the school board. The town is on the record, requesting the school board to donate the newer parts of the current facility to the town. At a minimum, said Mendisco, there will be 3.8 acres of former school property that will open up for development. What that development will be is to be determined, but he speculated there could be commercial retail on Highway 40, with multi-family and residential development extending deeper into the property that includes the current football field. One of the biggest needs of Hayden is hotel space, catering to travelers, the airport or those drawn to performances in the auditorium/stage facility. All the traffic count research and data indicates Hayden could support a hotel that could have 60 percent occupancy.

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Knowls Mt. Werner Circle

The Records:

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Hottest: Cheyenne Wells @ 88°F on Dec. 6, 1939 Coldest: Fraser @ -50°F on Dec. 25,1924

Yampa River

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Valley Voice

December 2019

Health and Mind

Healing Addiction in the Valley By Michael Rass

15

ADDICTION TREATMENT FOR YOUNG ADULT MEN

Our advanced ranch and wilderness experiential program in Oak Creek puts you on the right path for life.

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Every year, people from around the United States are drawn to the scenic Yampa Valley for recreational purposes, including rest and recuperation. The area around Steamboat Springs has a long history of restoring the wellbeing of its visitors. Many years ago, Native Americans frequented the area for its sacred “medicine” springs to undergo physical and spiritual healing. Today, a similar kind of healing is offered on a 1,378-acre working ranch located in Oak Creek. Three Strands is a wilderness-based addiction treatment program for young men between the ages of 18 and 27 years. It is designed to directly address key aspects of the disease of addiction in this population. The treatment model marries time-tested methods with contemporary experiential therapy developing self-esteem, self-reliance, and connection. “When you are working with young men you will find they are often resistant to the way many traditional programs work. By the time they come to seek treatment, they may have deeply internalized and suppressed issues such as trauma. Initially, it can seem forced and unnatural to these patients to express themselves verbally in age or gender-diverse groups. We utilize the ranch setting as a different path using experiential tasks that prepare these young men both for long-term recovery and for life,” explains David Petersen, clinical director at Three Strands. Living and working on the ranch, clients learn to cope with the challenges of everyday life and thrive in a lifestyle of recovery and purpose. Ranch life requires hard work, problem-solving and creativity, care and thoughtfulness. It requires accountability, integrity, honesty, and courage—all principles at the core of the Three Strands mission. The 60-day ranch experience provides the foundation needed for clients to get the most out of the next step—a 30-day wilderness expedition. Led by trained wilderness

recovery specialists, this immersive outdoor experience is designed to challenge and inspire. From the mountaintops of Colorado, clients gain confidence and find out how resilient they really are. They experience the full healing power of the majestic Rocky Mountains. Transitioning from life on the ranch to life in the wilderness marks the beginning of a journey that tests what we believe about ourselves, our place in the world, and our ability to sustain positive and purposeful recovery. The Three Strands Wilderness Program functions as a gateway to profound and lasting personal transformation that ingrains a permanent sense of connection to the earth, the self, and the community. A strong recovery based on this kind of transformation also helps check the still widespread stigma surrounding substance use disorder. Too many people still view addiction as moral weakness and not as the chronic brain disease it is. For people with addiction, this translates into feelings of shame that intensify already existing shame and low self-esteem. Addicted individuals tend to isolate themselves with deeply held feelings of being unworthy and unlovable. In reality, their substance misuse is frequently an attempt at self-medicating mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and trauma. Addiction is a complex biopsychosocial and spiritual disorder with many complex, interlocking conditions and mechanisms. Many addiction experts believe that reconnecting with a sense of spirituality is crucial to maintaining long-term recovery. Addiction and mental health expert Johan Hari provocatively declared that “'the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.” Connecting with people, with meaningful work, and connecting with nature are all effective ways to counter the disease. That is why they are key components of the Three Strands treatment model.

(970) 879-6830

steamboatbooks.com

Poetry

You're So Beautiful By Joan Remy

Tears from the eyes of soul Sweet drops of pain and joy On a warring planet Still fighting So sad No one can rule for long We all search for love Understanding and acceptance Shining Pure magic In every facet Warriors

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. - Albert Einstein


16

December 2019

Valley Voice

Go Green with the All Natural Boulder Clean Laundry Detergent! Reuse your containers with refills from our 30 gallon drum!

Your Money - Your Life

Debt Avalanche vs. Debt Snowball By Scott L. Ford

970 .879 .5717

2620 South Copper Frontage

Poetry

The Last Person I Saw Today By Fran Conlon

Who was that person in human form? We passed and smiled as time flew by, A nod and wave is oft' the norm, Will o' the wisp, we met briefly eye to eye. The milling crowds do come and go, Within the herd, some common folk, I am one, so I should know, Jostling the intersection we smile and joke. Life's green light moves me on, Sleep comes later and I can dream, My quick friend, rushing hither and yon, Like lemmings, I guess, with muted scream.

This month I continue the series about the realization that it is easy to wander into debt, however, it’s very difficult to wander out. This series has struck a nerve with a number of folks. They count themselves among the 80% of American households according to the Federal Reserve that are living paycheck to paycheck. All the money comes in and all the money goes out. It is little wonder why so many people feel they are barely staying even financially. The challenge is that when one finally becomes sick and tired of living paycheck to paycheck, they actually do something about it. Often the root causes of the paycheck to paycheck endless cycle is twofold. First, lack of a workable monthly budget that is diligently followed. According to a Gallup poll conducted in 2013, about 32% of American Households say they have a budget. About 50% of this group that say they budget indicate that they diligently follow it when making purchase decisions. The second root cause is a perspective that views consumer debt as a normal way of American life. So, what does all this mean? Less than 20% of Americans have a working budget they actually use, and 80% of households have simply and willingly accepted of debt as a way of life. My ongoing challenge is to dare and coach people to become – “Fiscally Abnormal.” In the October issue I introduced the concept of using a Zero-Based Budget. A Zero-Based Budget simply involves giving every dollar of income a job. It is telling your dollars where to go at the first of the month vs. wondering where they went at the end of the month. Through the budgeting process you spend every dollar on purpose before the month begins. A zero-based budget causes you to be intentional and cognizant of where the dollars are going. This spending awareness typically results in a cash flow gain of 10 to 15 percent. There are two basic strategies to attack debt. One is called the “Debt Avalanche.” The other is called the “Debt Snowball.” A Debt Avalanche focuses on paying the debt with the highest interest rate off first. Using this method, minimum payments are made on all outstanding debt and any available money that can be gained through diligently budgeting is applied to the high interest rate debt. This approach

A lost face lingers with crumpled smile, In another world, we'd share a grace, A cup of tea to idle a while, But delay now, and we'd lose our place. A mere reflection in life's mirror, Nothing here to truly love or fear. (Encounters are oft' brief and crisp, Even crowds can sport a will o' the wisp.)

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

works, but is often not employed because it does not feel like much progress is being made. The debt feels crushing. The key problem with the Debt Avalanche strategy is that it ignores the human element. Humans do not like feeling overwhelmed. The Debt Snowball on the other hand is structured to allow one to quickly see progress. This motivates you to aggressively attack the debt. Using the Snowball method, the debts are listed smallest to largest, regardless of interest rate, and any available money that can be gained through diligent budgeting is applied to the smallest debt. Say you have four debts totaling $20,000: A. $500 medical bill—Minimum $50 payment B. $2,500 credit card debt— Minimum $63 payment C. $7,000 car loan— Minimum $135 payment D. $10,000 student loan— Minimum $96 payment Using the Debt Snowball method, you would make minimum payments on everything except the medical bill. Let’s say as a result of diligent zero-based budgeting you have an extra $500 each month. Since you’re paying $550 a month on the medical bill (the $50 payment plus the extra $500), that debt will be gone in one month. Then, you can take the freed-up $550 and attack the credit card debt, paying a total of $613 ($550 plus the $63 minimum payment). In about four months, you’ll wave goodbye to that credit card debt. You’ve paid it off! Now, attack the car loan to the tune of $748 a month ($613 plus $135 minimum payment). In 10 months, the car loan is paid off. By the time you reach the student loan—which is your biggest debt—you can put $844 a month toward it ($748 plus $96 minimum payment). That means it will only last about 12 months. As a result of your hard work, discipline and sacrifice, you have paid off $20,000 of debt in only 27 months using the Debt Snowball method! At the beginning you thought this was going to be impossible. But using the Debt Snowball you saw you were making progress and you were motivated to keep after it.


Valley Voice

December 2019

17

Tales from the Front Desk

The Shampoo By Aimee Kimmey The story you are about to read is true... more or less. Thursday. Front desk. 3:28 pm. When you work in a winter wonderland, the holiday season can be crushing. People come from all over the world to play in your back yard. A lot of people. It's always a shock at first; one day you're watching tumble weeds roll down the street, the next you can't move an inch without someone demanding something. If you want to survive the service industry, you learn to deal with it. It's not impossible. It helps to focus on why you're there in the first place; your kids, your house, your sweet car, that trip to Belize which is going to be the experience of a lifetime, if only you can afford it! Whatever your reasons to work, there is no point in being crabby about it. Being grumpy doesn't make the job easier, it doesn't make the day shorter. It doesn't make the crowds go away. It just makes you unhappy. That was a lesson the clerk had learned a long time ago. So when the demands on her services seemed most crushing, she tried to kill them with kindness. She'd discovered early on that "fake it until you make it" actually kind of works. If you pretended you're happy long enough, eventually you'll forget the oppressive onslaught of rudeness, and start to believe you are in fact happy. A mind game, no doubt, but what the hell? It worked. So when the phone rang as she was staring down an endless line out the door, the clerk was chipper as she could muster. "Thanks for calling, how can I help you?" She said over the din of the crowded lobby. She wasn't at all surprised by the man snarling on the other end of the line. The holidays often bring out the worst in people. "I left my shampoo there last week, I need you to ship it to me."

When he checked out the following day he was wearing a tie--not something you see every day around here. "You were in 217, right?" She smiled at the guest in front of her passing back her credit card.

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"Y-you remember me?" The snarl vanished from his voice. The clerk pictured him, his big, intense eyes and thinning hair. An average guy who looked like he could use a hug.

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"Yeah," She said into the phone as she keyed the room cards for the lady in front of her. "We talked about restaurants." "Oh yeah. You were right; that place was great."

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"Here's your keys, you're in 112 just down the hall." The guest in front of her smiled and took the keys. As she walked away, the clerk turned her attention back to the phone. "I'm so sorry about your shampoo, but there's not much I can do for you." The man on the phone sighed deeply, "I should've known, it's my fault for forgetting it. It's just... you know, my hair's not as thick as it used to be." "Whaaaat?" She grinned at the next customer, Bob, one of her regulars. "Your hair's great!" She could actually hear the man on the other end of the line beam, "Aw, I probably spend too much on it..." Bob passed her his corporate card. He was a salesman who spent a couple of nights a month in her hotel. He knew the drill. She already had his keys ready.

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Bob chuckled. The man on the other end of the line burst into a deep belly laugh that made her heart swell with joy. "My God! I haven't heard that one in a while!" "Oldie but a goodie!" She passed Bob back his card with a wink.

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"Dahling," She said in a thick, goofy accent, "It is better to look good than to feel good, and you. Look. Mahvelous!"

Beer of the Month:

this December, to see my old pal Bumbles’ identical second cousin. He’s only in town for a month, so make sure to visit him at Arctic Liquors.

DESCHUTES

The laughter on the phone dwindled happily. "Thanks, I needed that! You sound really busy, I should let you go." Still chuckling, Bob tucked his credit card back into his wallet and moved away from the counter. The next customer quickly filled his space. "I am sorry about the shampoo." She said genuinely, nodding at the next road weary traveler.

The clerk scrunched the receiver between her ear and shoulder, freeing her hands to help the guest across the counter while talking on the phone. "Oh, I'm sorry! The maids don't save toiletries, your shampoo's long gone by now."

"Don't worry about it, I'll get more." The man on the phone said warmly. "You've been wonderful, really, thank you."

"What?! It's a prescription, it's very expensive!" His voice broke a little, as if this was his emotional last straw.

"I hope to. Have a great holiday season!" The voice on the other end of the line sounded ten pounds lighter. It made the clerk feel good. Good enough that the sea of needy faces in front of her seemed just a bit less oppressive.

It caught the clerk off guard. The guy was trying to be mad, but he just sounded distraught. Suddenly she remembered him. He'd stayed alone, just one night, last Tuesday or Wednesday? He stopped by the front desk looking for an affordable meal in town. He'd been anxious, but pleasant enough.

970.870.9668

"My pleasure," She mouthed 'Hi' to the new customer. "Come back and see us anytime." She said into the phone.

"Thanks, you too!" She hung up the phone and turned her grin to the new customer, "Hi there..."

Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning. - Winston Churchill


18

December 2019

Valley Voice

'Tis the Season

Where do Christmas Trees Come From? By Sean Derning

My son Clark said these very words to me as we were getting out Christmas decorations several years ago. Pondering my response for a moment, I countered with, “Well, son. You’re seven years old. Perhaps it’s time you learned the real truth about Christmas trees.” We as a society have done a poor job of making the public aware of where our food comes from. I thought I could accomplish the same type of lesson by educating the boy about Christmas trees. This would be the first year he and I would enter the untamed outdoors to stalk and kill our own Christmas tree. I sat him down to make sure he was prepared for what it would take to bag our own token of holiday memories. I explained to him that most trees are raised on farms where weather conditions can be severe and they are fed fertilizers and pesticides to keep them healthy. And then one day they are heartlessly ripped from the ground, baled tightly with twine and shipped to a local shopping center or hardware store. When someone buys one, they take it home, sometimes forget to water it, place it under a heating vent to become tinder dry and adorn it with deformed and faded construction paper ornaments made by toddlers using glue, glitter, crayons and macaroni. I told him this was serious business and we had to be prepared before we went out. Not only were we going into the woods, but we were going to get a free range Christmas tree; one free from chemicals, one that grew up with other trees of different ages, in different levels of shade, with different species of trees. You know, a socially well-adjusted, multicultural tree. “Smokey the Bear says, ‘It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes a forest to raise a tree.’” (OK this was a lie, but Clark bought it.) My son had many questions and I patiently answered them;

“Yeah.” “Look at that one,” as I pointed.

and expelling oxygen. Stop when you start to get a headache. Stand motionless in the sun for hours and pretend you’re creating photosynthesis. And make sure to drink plenty of water.”

“Looks like an evil clown’s hat to me.”

“Wow, I can’t wait to go!”

“They can jump?”

The next weekend was the big day. There had been little snowfall up until that Thanksgiving, so travelling deep into the forest was not too difficult. We applied our Pine Sol and I had to remind him to change his sneakers to boots, because if the cordless Sawzall slipped while cutting, it would amputate all the toes off his foot and he would have to wear corrective footwear for the rest of his life.

“Of course they can,” I whispered. “Haven’t you ever heard of a quaking aspen or a weeping willow? That’s a jumping jackpine.” I snuck a few feet behind the tree and then yelled, “NOW!” We both rushed. Clark dove low on the trunk and I went high, the needles easily piercing the leather palms of my gloves.

We hopped in the truck and made our way to our special spot that is none of your business, thank you very much! Snow lay about 6 inches deep in shaded areas. The ground was easily hikeable and there was no need for our snow shoes. It was a beautiful Colorado bluebird day and we had gotten a late morning start. Perfect weather for felling a tree.

“OW!!” I yelled.

Pulling up to a Jeep trail, we got out and I dumped the backpack’s contents on the tailgate. Aside from the standard day hike gear, just the Sawzall, two blades and an extra battery were all we needed.

“OK, I’ll sweep around the back. When I give you the signal you go low and grab the trunk so he doesn’t jump away.”

“Dad, are you OK?” he asked. “Yeah, the neurotoxins in the needles show up days or weeks after being stuck. Slurred speech followed by a headache the next morning. So if I seem a little off the mark, it would have nothing to do with all those vodka bottles in the trash. It’s the pine poison.” “Are you ready to bag this thing?” I asked. “Do you have a good grip on the trunk?”

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the Sawzall.

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s the ultimate Christmas tree killing machine,” I said, handing the tool to him. “It takes down kill-crazy conifers and angry aspens. Go ahead, pull the trigger.”

“Hold tight because I’ve got to get the Sawzall ready,” as I snapped the blade in.

The Sawzall chattered and bounced in his hands and he pretended to defoliate the forest before him.

I stuck the Sawzall into the trunk of the tree about a foot above his hands. Got about halfway through the trunk and then I stopped.

“Hey, save some juice,” I said. “Hold this.”

“Why are you stopping?” he asked.

“What’s that?”

“Because you’re going to finish it. I’ve got the trunk.”

“Forest Service tag. So they can plant more trees.”

He pulled the trigger and the tree fell.

We walked about a half mile up the Jeep trail and then jumped off onto a gentle red sandstone rise for about 50 yards. When we cleared the rise, the wash before us was thick with evergreens.

“We forgot to yell ‘Timber!” I said.

“We’ve gotta find a tree with a good cone shape,” I said. “A what?”

“Will the tree see us coming?” he asked.

“Like an ice cream cone upside down. Or an evil clown’s hat.”

“No, silly. They don’t have eyes. But we will put a little Pine-Sol behind our ears so they won’t pick up our scent.”

He made a triangle with his thumbs and forefingers and peered through it, looking for a tree.

“Why not get the one in our neighbor’s front yard?”

“How’s your Pine Sol?” I asked.

“That’s their special tree. Would you go out and steal their dog? No, we have to go to where the trees are. That’s called a forest.”

“It’s burning my skin,” he said.

“How smart are trees?” he asked.

We forged ahead. After a few minutes I stopped him.

“Well, to outfox them, you need to think like a tree. First, try reverse respiration like breathing in carbon dioxide

“Got your triangle ready?”

“Mine too.”

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

“Set it back up!” Clark pleaded. I did and we both yelled out as it again fell, our voices echoing in the quiet shallow of the canyon. We dragged the tree downhill and loaded it in the back of the pickup. Arriving home as the sun started painting fields and hills in a light golden alpenglow, we put the tree in a five gallon bucket of water in the dark garage. The next weekend, we decorated the tree under the microsupervision of my wife. And goodness, how we trimmed that tree. Limbs sagging from strands of flashing colored lights, beads and ornaments that told the tale of our family’s holiday history. The pungent scent of fresh evergreen radiated throughout the living room, spilling into hallways and neighboring rooms. And there, right in the middle of the tree, was my son’s toddler ornament; the very one made of deformed, faded construction paper, glue, glitter, crayon and macaroni. Happy holidays to you and your family.


Valley Voice

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

Happy 2019 to All y' All Dating is …Exciting We all get that fantastic feeling in several locations on our body that an exciting thing is about to happen. WOWZERS! Wouldn’t it be great to finally find our Last First Kiss? Wouldn’t it be great to discover a lifetime of future memories in the eyes of that lovely person we’re about to meet? And of course, isn’t it exciting to think that you may have just found your soulmate?!? Abso-frickin-lutely!!

think, and they got up and went to the bathroom. Totally rude. And when I wanted to move in a bit closer, you know, they made those crazy eyes and backed away. What a loser. Right? Yeah, maybe my picker is off. I keep going out with these losers. A great reason to leave the house

Dating is very exciting and we deserve some excitement in our lives that comes from the potential of happiness. Everyone – let’s get out there and go on a date!

Yuppers, been inside way too long. Time to meet real people. The Interwebs is great for information and entertainment. Messaging and texting is fun too. However, it is not a real person. Human interaction is vital to proper health. Plus, when you come home after being away from it, it's good to discover how bad it smells, how messy it is and just how bad your home needs to be cleaned up … before company comes over.

Nutz and frustrating

Fun and better to do with someone nice

Holy Hell – what were we thinking? Dating is a complete fiasco. No one wins. How the hell we have perpetuated the species is beyond me at times. We make these great efforts to leave the house, be there on time, look fabulous – and they show up late, drunk, disheveled, NOT looking like their pictures or arrived early and are already drunk. Then because we’re the nice one, we stick it out for the length of the meal and they end up telling us their deepest truths – they are “nearly divorced;” they are only wanting something casual; their kids/ex/job/workout consumes their free time so they barely have time to actually HAVE a relationship; they were visited by aliens last year and they are hoping to find a partner who believes them. (No joke, totally true dating story.)

You, over there, ya sexy beast – let’s hang out and talk about everything. After that I’ll decide if you are Sponge Worthy or not. My only criteria is that you be normal. And be able to use full sentences as well as not talk with food in your mouth. Oh, and if you are an ass to the wait staff, I’ll fake a phone call and leave. No hesitation there. All I’m asking is that you be interesting. Gawd I hope you brushed your teeth. Ahh, one more thing – at the end of the date, if it turns out that I’m not your perfect cup of tea – don’t run to the car, I’m not going to chase you. I’m an adult.

Fine Yeah, no problem. There are plenty of single people in our relatively close by world or online. The parade never really ends and accordingly, no problem. We get out of the house often enough that we have hope rolling through our minds quite well. It’s not stressful, fun enough and sometimes there’s even a 2nd or 3rd date. Bonus. Something to give up With all that is going on in the world/our lives, who needs it. There are far bigger fish to fry and issues to be addressed. Besides, we have our family and our friends to be our major focus. Dating is the same old waste of time grind as before. Been there, done that. No sweat off our back. Oh look. There’s a farmer’s market this weekend. Awesome, let’s go volunteer. A slap in the face YIKES – that did not go well. I mean, what the hell? I showed up just being myself, right? What did they expect? Like, how am I supposed to know that they want to be asked questions? I’m not a mind reader. I mean, like, I was in the middle of a great story about yesterday at work, I

Recurring Weekly Events:

It’s all about your Happiness

By Mr. Helpful, MD

We’re wrapping up 2019. So, here’s what we’ve learn over the past 12 months.

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December 2019

Yeah, it’s stuff like that and more I’d say. Fun to write, fun to experience. I always ask my dates to tell me Bad Dating Stories. Makes for common ground comradery on a date. Some are boring, standard stuff and some are unbelievable. Dating is exactly what you make of it. If you aren’t ready to date, it might be awkward and terrible. If you are desperate, you might see your dates running for the door. If you are comfortable with yourself and have kept your expectations low, you will most likely have a pleasant time. Sometimes both parties want to have a kiss and sometimes it ain’t gonna happen.

SUNDAY Ski Free Sunday 10AM-4PM @ Howelsen Hill. steamboatsprings.net Swinging Sunday 7-10PM/ Latin Night 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. West Coast Swing Dance Lessons 7-8PM Late Night Latin Dance Night 10PM www.schmiggitys.com MONDAY Meatball Monday & Piano Bar Night 8:30PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

Karaoke Night & CONTEST Win $500 CASH. Finals on 12/11. 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE www.schmiggitys.com THURSDAY Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot.FREE www.steamboatwriters. com Ski with a Naturalist (Starting December 10th) 1:30-2:30PM @ Top of the Gondola at the start of the Why Not trail. FREE www.yampatik.org FRIDAY

Uranium Mine Snowshoe Tour (Starting December 13th) TUESDAY 10AM-1PM @ Yampatika. FREE Ski with a Naturalist (Starting December 10th) RSVP Required 1:30-2:30PM @ Top of the www.yampatik.org Gondola at the start of the SATURDAY Why Not trail. FREE www.yampatik.org Emerald Mountain Snowshoe Tour Pool League (Starting December 14th) 6:30PM @ The V 10AM-Noon @ Emerald Mountain. $20 (Includes Two-Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Lift Ticket & Snowshoes) Country Dance Lessons). RSVP Required. www.yampatik.org FREE. www.schmiggitys.com WEDNESDAY Dart League 6:30PM @ The V

Once you have gone on more than a handful of dates, there will appear to you a pattern. The beginning, middle and end of a date. Each stage can be easy or uncomfortable. It’s all up to you. My encouragement is to relax, ask a few questions, listen more than talk and treat your date as if they are a soon to be old friend. I know you can do it – I believe in you.

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Find Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read the expanded versions of this column. Next month – Got plans for the holidays? – Yeah, I hear ya. So maybe we can stay in touch and connect after the new year… ? www.zirkelwireless.com

Coming Soon ….Zirkel TV….

970-871-8500 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic……… *12 month contract required.Terms and condi5ons apply condi5ons

Arthur C. Clarke

The most important thing is story-telling. It's as singular and old-fashioned as that. - David Soul a


20

December 2019

Valley Voice

Calendar of Free Events To submit your free events or calendar information e-mail to: ericvalleyvoice@gmail.com Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month.

MONDAY DECEMBER 2

THURS DECEMBER 5

MONDAY DECEMBER 9

THURS DECEMBER 12

TUES DECEMBER 17

WED DECEMBER 25

Wild Films: “Humpback Whales: A Detective Story” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

Live Band Karaoke/ Schmiggity Jam 9:30PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE www.schmiggitys.com

Free Film: “The Serengeti Rules” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

Chain Station 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net

Christmas Day

Kwanzaa/Boxing Day

TUES DECEMBER 10

Moonlight Snowshoe Tour 6:30 - 8:30PM @ Yampatika. $20 (Incl Snowshoes) RSVP is required. www.yampatik.org

Crane Fest Films: “Lost Bird Project” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events WED DECEMBER 18

FRIDAY DECEMBER 27

Bud Werner Memorial Library’s Foreign Film Series at the Chief “Ulysses & Mona” 7:00PM @ Chief Theater. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

Trout Steak Revival 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $20. www.schmiggitys.com

TUESDAY DECEMBER 3 City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net History Happy Hour 5:30PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Company. FREE. treadofpioneers.org WED. DECEMBER 4 Bud Werner Memorial Library presents Mountainfilm for Students 4PM @ Boys and Girls Club Gym. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events Bud Werner Memorial Library presents Mountainfilm On Tour in Steamboat Springs 6:30PM @ Library Hall. $10. www.steamboatlibrary. org/events

FRIDAY DECEMBER 6 First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE. Richard Galusha Retrospective: An Artist’s Journey Dec. 6, 2019 – April 11, 2020 Opening Reception @ Steamboat Art Museum. steamboatartmuseum.org Sweet Lillies 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com SAT DECEMBER 7 Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day Taylor Scott Band 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net Artists On Film: Fashion designer Alexander McQueen, “McQueen” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary. org/events WED DECEMBER 11 City Council Retreat 8AM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas Historic Preservation Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas Parks & Recreation Commission 5:30PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas

FRIDAY DECEMBER 13

Dirty Revival 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com SAT DECEMBER 14 Christmas Bird Count 10AM-1PM @ Mt Werner. FREE. RSVP required. www.yampatik.org Speak of the Devil 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY DECEMBER 15 SUPER Ski Free Sunday 10AM-4PM @ Howelsen Hill. steamboatsprings.net/ skifree

THURS DECEMBER 19 MVTTV 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY DECEMBER 20 40 Oz to Freedom 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $10. www.schmiggitys.com SAT DECEMBER 21 Winter Solstice Snowshoe 10AM-2PM @ Yampatika. $20 (Incl Snowshoes) RSVP Required. www.yampatik.org SoDown w/Kyral x Banko & Since JulEYE 2 SHOWS! All Ages 8PM $15 & 21+ 10:30PM $10 @ Schmiggity’s. www.schmiggitys.com MONDAY DECEMBER 23

Photo by Jim Meyers, Somewhere near Winter Park.

Hanukkah TUES DECEMBER 24 Christmas Eve

“The 'Best One' is across the street” For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

THURS DECEMBER 26

DraLa 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

SAT DECEMBER 28 Family Snowshoe Adventure at Legacy Ranch Noon- 2PM @ Legacy Ranch. FREE. RSVP Required. www.yampatik.org Augustus 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY DECEMBER 29 Boombox w/ GoodSex 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $35. www.schmiggitys.com MONDAY DECEMBER 30 Zach Deputy 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com TUES DECEMBER 31 New Year’s Eve NYE BASH w/ Euforquestra 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $20 Pre-Sale/$25 Day of Show. www.schmiggitys.com


Schmac and Cheese

Valley Voice

December 2019

21

Local Fun

The Yampuzzler

Answers on page 23

By Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean

821 Lincoln Ave - schmiggitys.com gity Jam ke/SchmigEE! o a r a K d Ban m FR d) 9:30 p 12/5: Live Thursday ing with a live ban (Play or s Lillies /6: Sweet $5 2 1 y a id r F na) 10 pm (America nd r Scott Ba pm FREE! lo y a T : /7 0 12 )1 Saturday Funk/Blues Rock m a J l/ u (So ion hain Stat a) 10 pm FREE! C : 2 /1 2 1 Thursdayin Music/American (Mounta evival 3: Dirty R, R&B) 10 pm $5 /1 2 1 y a k Frid -hop, Fun (Soul, Hip vil of the De E! k a e p S : FRE 12/14 Saturday eavy Metal) 10 pm H (Classic EE! VTTV 10 pm FR 12/19: M Thursday Party/Electronic) (DJ Dance o Freedom 0: 40 Oz t d) 10 pm $10 /2 2 1 y a an Frid Tribute B anko & (Sublime /Kyral x B w n w o D o $10 12/21: S Saturday YE (2 SHOWS!) 15/ 21+ 10:30 pm Since JulEic) All Ages 8 pm $ (Electron EE! aLa 10 pm FR 12/26: Dr Thursday Party/Electronic) (DJ Dance vival t Steak Re $20 u o r T : 7 /2 Friday 12 Bluegrass) 10 pm o d a r lo (Co tus 8: Augus EE! /2 2 1 y a d r R F Satu ck) 10 pm Sex (Retro-Ro x w/ Goodedelic) 10 pm $35 o b m o o B Psych 2/29: Sunday 1 co House/Vintage is (Rock/D uty Zach Dep 10 pm $5 : 0 /3 2 1 y Monda ul, Americana) ( Funk, So forquestra

w/ Eu NYE BASH beat / Dub) 10 pm : 1 /3 2 1 y / Afro Tuesda / Reggae of Show l u o S / k g ay (Fun oast Swin ale/ $25 D EE West C R F $20 Pre-S m p 0 nday" 7-1 m inging Su tt Goodhart 7-8 p w S " : y a d o c S Sun h it pm ssons w Dance Le Latin Dancing 10 :30 pm t h ar Night 8 ig B o n ia Late N P d &

Across

1. Cowboy's leggings 6. Cry 10. Quick note 14. Continue a subscription 15. Jason's boat 16. Marla and Ivana, to Donald 17. Independently 18. Surf's sound 19. Auditioner's tape 20. This year, it's 4 days before Xmas 23. One ___ customer 24. Debate side 25. Annual Steamboat event, this year at Bank of the West and Steamboat Emergency Center 33. Billiard shot with the cue vertical 34. "___ a Lady" (Tom Jones song) 35. Canoe propeller 36. Cry of dismay 37. Surname of Kris Kringle 39. Electrical measure 40. A hundred percent 41. ___ Raton, FL 42. Descends gradually 43. Treat for Santa 47. Unit of energy 48. "Rapa ___" 49. Winter wish for many 57. Warm winter wear 58. Queens stadium 59. Monopoly purchase 60. It's in the middle of a donut 61. Four years for a U.S. president 62. ___ house (free) 63. Matinee hero 64. Quid pro quo 65. ___ Wicked Trail

Down

1. Stick in one's ___ (rankle) 2. "Pad" or "port" lead in 3. Momentarily 4. ___ up (confined) 5. Honeybunch 6. Capital of Poland 7. Slangy ending for switch 8. Same, in Somme 9. 911s and Cayennes, e.g. 10. Tone Loc's "Funky Cold ___" 11. Company VIP 12. "Kermit sipping tea" or "Grumpy Cat", for example 13. Valley Voice cat 21. Fall apart 22. Throw out 25. Frankie of The Four Seasons 26. "This ___ your fault!" 27. Draft org. 28. Esau's twin 29. Calendar abbr. 30. Nary a soul

31. Chitchats 32. Part of NEA 33. Sir's counterpart 37. Clogs up, as traffic 38. TV screen type 39. 7, on a sundial 41. Lisa Simpson's brother 42. Where to buy a pair of new Volkls 44. Harvey of "Taxi Driver" 45. Freeway entrance 46. Parisian assent 49. Lumber 50. Saintly glow 51. Tobacco wad 52. Wife of Zeus 53. Sound of music 54. Mixed breed 55. Queens stadium 56. Understands 57. Greek X

onday inez an eatball M e with Mike Mart M : y a d n Mo st! g good tim Sing alonballs while they la Lessons t try Dance a n e u o C $1 m E E pm FR wo Step 7 ich 7 pm T : y a d s e Tu Karaoke, eftw L m a p d n 9 a T S m E with A & CONT 12/11. oke Nigh0t CASH - Finals on a r a K : y a Wednesds & Fun! Win $50 0 pm ity Jam 9:3Oh Schmiggity! Costume g ig m h c Karaoke/S ve band Live Bandlay along with a li Sing or p

Hour 7-9 Daily Tickets online at schmiggitys.comSchmappy or at All That.

$1

Photo by Gwen Skinner

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. - Allen Ginsberg


22

December 2019

Valley Voice

Yepelloscopes

Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries

March 21 - April 19

There’s a reason your fortune cookie seemed so accurate: some traditional ancient Chinese man measured the stars on a clear summer night, found your future and typed the results on a tiny piece of paper. He then inserted it into a delicious dessert cookie and served it to you with your kung pao chicken. It was divine intervention.

Taurus

GOLDEN LEAF WILL

MATCH

ANY PRICE

IN STEAMBOAT * * Excludes flower. Not to be combined with any other discounts.

April 20 - May 20

Your loyalty and dedication to your favorite Netflix original drama will become less enjoyable when you realize that watching the show has no actual effect whatsoever on your life or your future.

Gemini

May 20 - June 20

Cancer

June 21 - July 22

No, you’re not crying! You don't cry! You're not some sort of emotional basket case that will start crying about nothing! You just have allergies. Really, really depressing allergies…

OPEN DAILY Recreational & Medical

1755 Lincoln Avenue Steamboat Springs, CO On the Free Bus Route

970-870-2941

www.GoldenLeaf.co For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

September 23 - October 23

Next Friday won’t be a good day for you. You might as well stay in bed and avoid Friday all together. It’s just a really bad day. You have been warned.

Scorpio

October 24 - November 21

It might be easier to catch a fly with a flyswatter rather than chopsticks, but you really can’t pick up chicks that way.

Sagittarius

Leo

Aquarius

July 23 - August 23

August 23 - September 22

Really though, how do you kill two birds with one stone? Do you throw a rock at a bird in hopes that the rock ricochets off one bird and hits another? Do you try to hit one bird hoping that while the dead bird is falling to the ground

November 22 - December 21

You will find yourself at a local bookstore this week asking the sales person if they sell Kindles so you can rent a book on Amazon Prime called “The Demise of Local Businesses in the Technological Age.”

Capricorn

Virgo CAKE DANCE

Libra

It will be a sad day when there is a mix-up with your highly personable pet goat and Chef Andrews, whom is known to his fans as “The Butcher.” The bad news is, you’ll no longer have a pet goat, the good news is that she tastes wonderful with the side of au gratin potatoes. Middle aged male, seeking twenty-something female. Enjoys long walks on the beach, a nice home cooked meal, watching birds in the park, going on an extremely expensive vacation using twenty-something female's money, holding hands, talking philosophy and drinking flat sparkling water.

ROAD DAWG

it collides into another one, killing bird number two on impact? Do you pick up the same bloody rock like a mass murder weapon and kill several birds with it? These questions must be answered.

December 22 - January 19

In your increasing boredom, you’ll have a very strange urge to smash into your friend's front doors to make an entrance. This will get really old, really quick, ending in resumed boredom and less friends. January 20 - February 18

You will be flattered and slightly disturbed when you find a gift on your doorstep. It is a thousand puzzle pieces that when assembled, is an unnerving picture of what looks like your stalker standing over you while you were asleep. Joke's on them because you don’t have the patience to put a thousand-piece puzzle together, and you’ll almost instantly loose a couple of the pieces on the floor. Threat diverted.

Pisces

February 19 - March 20

You will star in the community’s newest rendition of Cats, but didn’t expect them to play on the word “cat” like they did.


Valley Voice

December 2019

23


24

December 2019

Valley Voice

The Valley Voice is for those who live here and for those who wish they did.

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pa Creek Yam Hayden Oak

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Valley Voice December 2019  

Steamboat Springs, Colorado

Valley Voice December 2019  

Steamboat Springs, Colorado

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